Don’t ever be happy, for any reason. This is what it gets you
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At this point, it's unclear whether Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth will ever get married.
There are rumors on a near weekly basis about the stars walking down the aisle, but we're yet to spot a single wedding ring on either of their fingers.
Just because Cyrus and Hemsworth may never be husband and wife, this doesn't mean they never do what husbands and wives typically do on the night of their nuptials.
That is, Miley and Liam manage to have lots of sex.
Even when they are not physically in the same place.
In an interview with Howard Stern on Wednesday, Cyrus was asked by the shock jock how the singer and the actor maintain their physical chemistry when each must travel so often for work.
And Miley had a simple and obvious response to this question:
"That's what FaceTime's for. Cybersex."
Oh, right. Of course.
Cyrus may have been joking, but she also may have been serious.
We've heard for awhile, after all, that she and Liam have lots of wild intercourse.
For two very famous people who are pretty active on social media, Cyrus and Hemsworth actually keep their romance more private than you'd expect.
This is because the celebrities live a mostly "regular life," Miley explained to Stern, getting candid and elaborating as follows:
"He's a really amazing cook.
"So I just end up smoking weed and eating, and he has these weird genetics, where him and his brother are actually f-cking superheros and they just eat.
"And I'm like, 'Why am I getting so soft?' And he's like, 'I'm feeding the cannons.' And all of the sudden he just eats and eats and eats and he gets more ripped.
"It's not fair! I wake up where I can't open my eyes because I've had so much salt."
On a more serious note, Cyrus and Hemsworth lost their home last month in the Malibu fires.
Miley told Stern that Liam "got a lot of action" for saving all of their animals at the time, even getting two pigs into a crate.
"We travel around together, usually we live in Malibu, so right now we live in Nashville and adjusting," she explained.
"And I think the hardest thing for both of us right now is to go back, a lot of people are starting to get back to their homes, people that didn't lose their homes.
"But Malibu just isn't the same for right now, the air quality, the water, 'cause he surfs every day."
Hemsworth and Cyrus met way, way, way back in the day on the set of the film The Last Song.
They broke up for a couple years, but always remained close and now seem more committed than ever before. Marriage be damned.
"I call him my survival partner now," Cyrus told Stern, concluding:
"He thinks it's not romantic, but I learned that it is. It is why you pair up with someone is for survival."
There is so much to love about Charisma Carpenter, and she is helpful enough to put it all out there for us to see easily.
This is hard for me to admit, but occasionally I find that the friend of Buffy the vampire slayer has slipped my mind. I know that is nearly unforgivable, but the silver lining is that when she pops up on the internet it is like I get the enjoyment of discovering her all over again. And she has aged so remarkably that the quality of her has barely even diminished. There are people with Alzheimer’s who still think they are living in 1997, and if they saw Charisma in her present state they wouldn’t even get shocked out of their delusion. They would just keep on waiting for the next new episode of Buffy to air.
Honestly, I was so enraptured by her face back then that I have a hard time remembering the quality of her keister. I think it is safe to say that it was above average back then, but it might even be better now. She has the fear of middle age as a fire beneath her, which is probably good motivation to do one more squat.
Photo Credit: Instagram / MEGA
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Wednesday's episode of The Real Housewives of New Jersey was all about Danielle Staub's bachelorette party, and while there were no tables being flipped, there was a lot of drama.
Now, you may be wondering why Danielle is having a bachelorette party, especially when we know that her marriage has already fizzled out.
But thanks to the power of reality TV, we're getting to watch this trainwreck play out, and let's just say we're loving every minute of it.
Danielle wanted the best bachelorette party ever and even expected the likes of Margaret Josephs, Teresa Giudice, and Melissa Gorga to plan the whole bash out.
You may be scratching your head wondering why Margaret would take anything do with the event because Danielle has been treating her like something you would scrape off your shoe, but here we are.
"It needs to be perfect," Danielle started with her list of diva-like demands.
"I want only dairy- and gluten-free options. And the environment needs to be an expensive environment, but I also want really nice gifts."
We're surprised she didn't ask for a horse and carriage. Then again, the producers were probably scared Teresa got mad and flipped the carriage with Danielle in it.
We kid, mostly.
Margaret then made a rookie mistake by reminding Danielle of that time she had her registry at Hermes and Versace.
Over to you, Danielle!
"It's just time to kick it into high f--king gear, that's all. You guys need to be texting me in the morning saying, 'Countdown!' That wouldn't suck. It's about being here for me."
Melissa even likened herself, Teresa and Margaret to "bridesmaids/servants" and even that wasn't enough to dial Danielle's demands.
What she did next was raise holy hell by praising Melissa and Teresa for always being there when she needed them.
"My expectations were for you to check in and make sure that I'm doing okay," Danielle said, clearly dragging Magaret right through the mud. "I'm getting married."
"It was a really lonely day when I had my fitting and my alterations," Danielle said, but Margaret was having absolutely none of it.
"We went to get your dress with you!" she barked back.
"Oh, no, I got a different gown altogether," Danielle complained as she geared up for a shouting match.
"WHY NOT CALL ME? WHY NOT BREAK THE SILENCE AND CALL THE BRIDE?"
"I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW YOU WENT FOR YOUR F--KING ALTERATIONS!" Margaret shouted back at her former friend.
"I want people to pay attention to me!" Danielle complained. "When do I get to feel like the bride, instead of feeling like I'm attacked and gnawed at like a dog with a f--king bone?!"
Oh yeah, Danielle wants the whole show to be about her. Did she forget that she's only billed as a friend of the housewives?
"The way you just spoke to me is disgusting," said Margaret as she got ready for round forty-six.
But Danielle was not ready to back down.
"So I shouldn't register as a bride?"
That's when Margaret flipped the hell out, but thankfully no tables were harmed.
"NO, YOU SHOULDN'T! YOU KNOW WHAT YOU SHOULD F--KING DO? YOU SHOULD SAY, 'NO GIFTS. IN LIEU OF GIFTS, DONATE TO CHARITY.' BECAUSE YOU HAVE A F--KING HOUSE FULL OF SHIT AND IT'S YOUR SECOND WEDDING. YOU'RE A F--KING BRIDEZILLA, AND YOU'RE BEING AN ASSHOLE."
That was enough to stop Danielle's power trip, and she apologized to Margaret. Seriously though, what the eff is Danielle all about?
The party went relatively well, but Melissa worried that her friend was gearing up for marriage for all the wrong reasons.
"How are you feeling about everything?" she said to Danielle.
"I'm a little nervous because it's not even here in Jersey," Danielle responded. "We're going someplace. What if my gowns don't make it? What if people don't make it?"
Danielle got the wrong end of the stick, and Melissa confirmed what she meant.
"Just like any other relationship, there's peaks and valleys," Danielle replied. "And when you come together at our age, there's gonna be a lot of peaks and valleys."
Yeah, it certainly seems like there was trouble before the couple even got married.
What are your thoughts on all of this?
Hit the comments below.
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The post Gigi Hadid’s Bony Rib Cage, Bella Thorne Cleaned up and More appeared first on The Blemish.
It’s holiday time again, and that means finding that special present for the kids’ Christmas!
You know what parents miss since they’ve had kids? Noise! They miss unadulterated noise! Screaming, howling, smashing, the throwing of random of objects and overall destruction of property! It just got too quiet in the house after the kids came along!
Well, never fear, parents. It’s Hasbro Toys to the rescue with their new hit toy. Hasbro is here to save you from the monotony and silence that comes with having small children in the house. That’s where their new line of toys “Yellies!” come in!
“Yellies!” are spider-like critter toys that respond to sound. Specifically, yelling. The sound of children’s screaming prompts the Yellies! to run as fast as they can (actually, that is also how I respond to the shrieks of small children). Yellies! will even react to clapping, singing, and banging! As long as your kids are good and loud, the Yellies! will surely move!
The marketing tagline for Yellies! is “The louder you yell, the faster they go!” That’s a good hint as to what parents can expect if they or someone else gets the brilliant idea to put this under the Christmas tree for their child.
Parents, I think I (and Hasbro) can guarantee that if you buy your kid a Yellies! for Christmas, you will never have to worry about the house being too silent again. This toy will ensure that your home will be filled with the chaos, disorder, and mayhem that you’ve been missing out on since the kids were born (ibuprofen not included, but should be!). Merry Christmas, everyone!
[Ed. note: It’s even better watching Yellies! run around with a German voiceover. Enjoy!]
The post ‘Yellies!’ Are the New Hit Toy Guaranteed to Bring Migraines to Parents Everywhere appeared first on The Blemish.
No one has ever accused Donald Trump of being firmly grounded in reality. Christian Bale recently recalled how he met Trump during the filming of Batman when the crew was shooting in Trump Tower. Bale said that Trump invited him up to his office for a chat. And the conversation was….well, weird. This is what Bale said about the conversation:
“I think he thought I was Bruce Wayne because I was dressed as Bruce Wayne. He talked to me like I was Bruce Wayne and I just went along with it, really. It was quite entertaining. I had no idea at the time that he would think about running for president.”
Christ. This is how a four-year-old would react to meeting someone dressed in a Big Bird suit with the absolute belief that a 6-foot tall talking yellow bird is indeed real.
Then again, this unsettling blunder on Trump’s part is entirely believable. After all, we’re talking about a man who thought the U.S. sold Norway fighter planes that exist only in the world of Call of Duty. If you think about it, a gaffe like this is not terribly surprising given that Trump has the maturity, impulse control, and gullibility of the average four-year-old.
Bale didn’t say what the two of them discussed, but I imagine that the two conversed about their mutual fear of flying rodents, where to score sports cars with hot runway models included with purchase, and gauging each other’s thoughts on the recent Joker crime spree. Also, Trump probably was looking to sell “Mr. Wayne” on investing in the building of a shiny new Trump Hotel in Gotham City.
The post Donald Trump Met Christian Bale and Thought He Was Really Bruce Wayne appeared first on The Blemish.
January Jones doesn’t seem to enjoy surprises. If you ever date January Jones, she’s going to tell you exactly what you should gift her. And don’t try to get creative with your gifts the way her unfortunate ex-boyfriend did.
In an interview with US Weekly, January Jones said her ex gave her the worst gift ever: a necklace made out of her dead dog’s teeth. This is what January had to say:
“I had a boyfriend give me my dead dog’s baby teeth made into a necklace, which was sweet in theory, but really morbid and I would never wear it… I still have them, but they’re like his little baby teeth set in a chain and it was a little off.”
Should have stuck with the list, pal. The moment January opened that gift, that’s when she knew the relationship was coming to an end.
For my part, I like surprises and creativity, but shit, a dead dog’s teeth necklace is creepy even by my standards. I can understand January being a little weirded out. I mean, where are you going to wear something like that? And if someone comments on your jewelry, then you have to say something like, “Oh, yes, this necklace was made from my dead dog’s baby teeth. He choked on a chicken bone and died in his own vomit, but isn’t this sweet?”
In her interview, January revealed that she is not shy about telling her significant others exactly what they need to present to her:
“The first pair of shoes I splurged on were Sergio Rossi, but I made my boyfriend buy me them for Christmas,” she dished. “I also had someone give me the only autograph I’ve ever wanted, which was Robert Stack who hosted Unsolved Mysteries back in the day and it was signed, To January,” for my birthday.”
You hear that, future January Jones suitors? NO SURPRISES, OK? Just stick to the pre-approved list of acceptable presents, and you’ll be fine. BUT DO NOT DIVERT FROM THE LIST.
But no one is as good at giving gifts to January Jones than January Jones, she says.
“I buy myself the best gifts. I’m really good at gift giving to myself. Any time there’s Valentine’s Day, Christmas, a birthday, even my son’s birthday, I buy myself jewelry.”
Okay, future suitors, maybe you’ll just be better off giving January a cash gift instead.
The post January Jones Out Here With a Necklace of Her Dead Dog’s Teeth appeared first on The Blemish.
Hugh Hefner’s Twin Sisters Exes Gonna Do Porn, Gisele Bundchen Can’t Get Tom Brady to Retire and More
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The post Hugh Hefner’s Twin Sisters Exes Gonna Do Porn, Gisele Bundchen Can’t Get Tom Brady to Retire and More appeared first on The Blemish.
As you've probably heard by now, Meghan Markle is reportedly feuding with Kate Middleton.
Some say the situation has gotten so dire that it's begun to tear at the fabric of Prince William and Prince Harry's relationship.
Reports of animosity between Kate and Meghan surface every few months, but this time, the rumor has lingered due to a series of events that seemed to lend credence to the theory that Meg's not making many friends across the pond.
First, in a rare move, Kensington Palace issued a statement on Kate and Meghan's feud.
Then came the royal housecleaning.
In the span of a week, two members of Meghan's staff left their posts in seemingly abrupt fashion.
Assistant Melissa Toubati quit amidst reports that Meg had "terrorized" her and berated her in front of her co-workers.
(Toubati has yet to address these rumors publicly.)
Shortly thereafter, Meghan and Harry's interim secretary Samantha Cohen announced that she would be stepping down after the birth of the Duchess' baby.
Of course, the keyword there is "interim."
As royal insiders have been pointing out, Cohen was never supposed to be a permanent fixture on Meghan and Harry's staff.
“She’s not leaving because of any drama with Meghan,” one insider tells Us Weekly.
“She agreed to stay for six months to help post-wedding and because Meghan and Harry were hoping a baby would come soon after that and knew they needed extra help.
"Samantha has a lot of respect for Harry and Meghan and enjoyed working for them. But her time is now up.”
Okay. So this is the rare tabloid report that actually downplays the drama.
The same piece featured insights from royal expert Omid Scobie who says he can't fully deny the reports of Meghan's unpopularity among royals and staffers, but he believes they've been greatly exaggerated:
“I’m sure there are people in other royal households who don’t agree with some things that she does or with her delivery, and that is solely based on cultural differences," Scobie says.
"Americans are direct when it comes to business, and Brits are reserved," he adds.
"So, of course, some things can be misread at times. But I have yet to come across someone in the Kensington Palace household who has a bad word to say about Meghan.”
Is that it? Is Meghan simply too American for royal life?
Is it because of her pesky Americanness that she's held to such a higher standard of behavior?
We can't imagine the British tabloid press losing its mind if Kate wore black nail polish.
And it's tough to picture The Sun teeing off on the Duchess of Cambridge form an improper curtsy.
Sigh. Gather up your muskets, folks. We may have to fight another Revolutionary War.
We knew this ludicrous stockpiling of civilian weapons would come in handy eventually!
So, the pop princess Miley Cyrus is trying her hand at hip-hop again after leaving it behind over a year ago. All I can say is, no, honey, no. Just no. Nobody wants to see you go the hip-hop route again.
CONFIRMED: Miley Cyrus’ new album will be hip hop vibes with Mike Will Made it, Modern/classic and rock music with Mark Ronson & Pop/Pop-alternative from Andrew Wyatt. pic.twitter.com/7sQy1fTnz9
— Miley Cyrus Charts (@CyrusOnChart) December 11, 2018
Miley, you tried that stint with hip-hop, before, remember? And people were NOT here for it. Hip-hop fans everywhere were less than impressed and relieved when you announced that you were done with that genre. People will forgive some youthful indiscretions; after all, you were still relatively fresh off the Disney-train back in 2013 and were in that rebellious phase of celebrating your freedom from the tyranny of The Mouse. Fans will not be so quick to pardon you at this phase in your life and career. Here’s how Miley described her upcoming album:
“Me and Mark [Ronson] have kind of said I think “Mine” is a little heavier than [“Nothing Breaks Like A Heart”]. A song that him and I have done together is more rock driven, modern Debbie Harry kind of Joan Jett. Then, we’ve got songs with Mike Will that lean more hip-hop and songs with Andrew Wyatt who’s from Miike Snow so it leans a little bit more pop/alternative. I just have kind of everything.”
It’s not that some artists can’t find success in doing a soft transition to other genres (i.e., Taylor Swift from country music to pop or Katy Perry from Christian music to mainstream pop), but most do not do well with a drastic shift that goes too far out of their area of expertise. Way the hell back in the day when Jessica Simpson was actually famous for her singing, she tried to expand her chops from pop to country. Her album Do You Know was regarded as a complete failure. And does anyone remember when Snoop Dogg (or Snoop Lion or Snoop Wombat…I don’t know what the fuck he’s calling himself these days) tried to go from rap to reggae? Don’t feel bad, hardly anyone does. Snoop Dogg’s reggae attempt sucked so badly that most of his fans have blocked it from their memories.
No matter how much Snoop Dogg might want to expand into reggae, he’s not a reggae artist, and no one took him seriously when he was doing it. Rap and hip-hop is the area where he’s strongest, and at this point in his career, that’s what he needs to stick with (he has since returned to his original genre). Miley can’t pull off hip-hop; she just can’t. All she does is look like a poser when she tries it, and it’s going to be worse since she’s out of her rebellious child star phase. She’s not the first pop singer to try to incorporate hip-hop into her music to be more badass, but ultimately, when it comes to genre transition, Miley Cyrus falls into the category of “White Girl Pop-Singers Who Should Know Better.”
The post Miley Cyrus Wants to Try Hip-Hop Again Much to the Horror of the Entire Hip-Hop Community appeared first on The Blemish.
There are a ton of super hot supermodels out there in the world at the moment—maybe the most we’ve ever had in our collective lifetimes—but if I were forced at gunpoint to pick one as the hottest, I think I’d pick Lais Ribeiro. The Brazilian Victoria’s Secret Angel is one of the most beautiful women alive and I think she’d easily take any challengers to that title.
I mean, just look at Lais Ribeiro parading around at the beach in the teeniest of bikinis. That is a perfect woman and I would ask anyone that doesn’t feel likewise to really take stock of their lives. Really consider the qualities you look for when naming perfection. I mean it, if Lais Ribeiro is not perfect, then no one is perfect. Perfection is not attainable if you don’t think Lais Ribeiro has attained it.
So take a look at these pictures of Lais Ribeiro soaking up the sun and showing off her perfect body. I guarantee you’ll come around to the idea of her being among the hottest women alive—if not the hottest. Afterwards, if you’re still not convinced, look again. Repeat this process until you agree with me. I guarantee it’ll be worth your while.
Photo Credit: Backgrid USA
We all know that Amy Adams has some of the best cleavage in Hollywood. There’s an entire documentary film devoted to proving this concept titled American Hustle and you should see it sometime if you want to see primo Amy Adams cleavage. Amy wore a very American Hustle inspired red dress to the premiere of Vice, and it was a show stopper once again!
While Amy is starring in the film, there was a wide assortment of hot women on the red carpet not associated with the film, but very happy to get to see it two weeks before the rest of us—lucky so-and-so’s. Kicking things off is Blanca Blanco, who looks thrilled to be seeing the movie I most want to see this year two weeks before I get to see it.
Redhead cutie Alison Pill was also there, though she’s in the movie playing Dick Cheney’s lesbian daughter. Kuoth Wiel was also in attendance, and she was looking gorgeous in gold, showing off an appropriate amount of cleavage for the occasion. Closing things out are Lily Rabe, who’s also in the movie, and Danielle Vasinova, on whom I’m told you may “blame it.”
So yeah, I’m angry that these ladies got to see the movie before I did, but I’m thrilled that they’re all hot. Makes everything go down just a little smoother.
Photo Credit: Splash News
No filmmaker in history has, for better or worse, turned into the skid quite like M. Night Shyamalan. Several terrible movies in a row—The Village, Lady in the Water, The Happening, The Last Airbender, After Earth—should have sunk his career, but thanks to the modest success of his low budget 2015 movie The Visit, he got a second chance to continue the modern superhero/supervillain saga that began with 2000’s Unbreakable.
2017’s Split was a covert sequel to the Bruce Willis/Sam Jackson vehicle, and now those stars team up with Split‘s James McAvoy for Glass, the trilogy closer we’ve been waiting 19 years for. While it looks like Shyamalan is leaning into the ridiculousness of his concept, I’m still not quite convinced this is where he pictured all of this heading from the very beginning.
I’m also concerned about the fact that Bruce Willis hasn’t given a shit on screen in decades. Without McAvoy, Split would’ve been a decently entertaining movie, but he turned it into something more. With Jackson back in the fold, I have no doubt that Bruce Willis will have to try acting this time out, as he’ll be very quickly overshadowed if he doesn’t.
Glass opens in theaters across North America on January 18, 2019.
Mika Brzezinski is trying very hard to extricate her foot from her mouth right about now.
But will it be enough to save her job?
The Morning Joe co-host is in boiling hot water at the moment after she used a homophobic remark to describe Secretary of State Mike Pompeo on air.
Brzezinski was talking about Pompeo's interview on cable news rival Fox & Friends, where the very high-level Cabinet member explained his view on the murder of Washington Post columnist Jamal Khashoggi.
Pompeo said that while the killing a "tragic incident" that the United States doesn't approve of, the Saudis are still "an important ally" of this country.
Hence the lack of any action ordered against them by President Trump.
"I understand that Donald Trump doesn't care … But why doesn't Mike Pompeo care right now?" Brzezinski asked during an interview with Sen. Dick Durbin.
She then got in trouble by adding out loud:
"Are the pathetic deflections that we just heard when he appeared on Fox & Friends, is that a patriot speaking, or a wannabe dictator's butt boy?
"I'm dead serious. I'm asking, are these the words of a patriot?"
That second line may be the best part:
Brzezinski was dead serious in wondering: Is Secretary of State Pompeo a wannabe dictator's butt boy?!?
As you might imagine, Brzezinski garnered a whole lot of backlash for the use of this term, prompting a response and an apology on Twitter:
Brzezinski and Joe Scarborough were among the President's staunchest allies back in 2015 and 2016, around the time of the Republican primary.
They often interviewed the then-candidate.
But the hosts and the Commander-in-Chief have since had a major falling out, with Trump going off on Brzezinski last summer and sparking a bizarre social media feud.
Click on the above link to relive that rivaly and check out Mika's "butt boy" comment here!