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Khloé Kardashian Relationship Woes and Other Fine Things to Ogle

Cardi B Celebrates Album Immediately Going Gold

BREAKING: NBA Star Cheats On Girlfriend

Feast Your Eyes On Tall And Stacked 19 Year Old Marie

Hilary Duff Looking All Kinds Of Leggy Hot And Busty

Elle Fanning Does Harper’s Bazaar Good

Olivia Culpo Gets Cheeky in Fishnet Thong Dress

Elizabeth Hurley Titty Instagram of the Day

Sexy GIFs of Boobs Pressed Against the Glass

Julianne Hough Nude Bra of the Day

Kindly Myers Posing in a Bikini

Nicki Minaj Courtside at Andre Ingram’s Insane Lakers Debut

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Stop And See Some of Bella Thorne’s Instagram Sexiness

If Bella Thorne is planning on the weight of those safety pins being enough to keep her top down then all I have to say is, I agree. I am sure that is all that is needed and she should go right ahead and do jumping jacks, or play hop scotch.

Even if all she wanted to do was some stretching, she should feel confident in her choice. There is no need for something heavier, like fishing sinkers or Christmas ornaments, to weigh that shirt down or God forbid simply wearing a larger shirt.

I have heard many women complain about the pressures put upon them to spend a lot of money on clothing, but I think they are overlooking a goldmine that is already in their possession. All of the clothes that they used to wear growing up are still very much in play; them no longer fitting means nothing. Cut the belly and sleeves off that Gap sweatshirt. Slice the legs off those old jeans. Now they all have a second life and are super trendy because they are considered to be vintage. This is how you save money while still looking (almost) like Bella Thorne.

 

Photo Credit: Instagram 

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OPEN POST: What’s Your Favorite ‘Simpsons’ Quote?

As we approach The Simpsons‘ 30th Anniversary, it’s kind of incredible to think about the sheer number of Simpsons quotes many of us use in our daily lives. Hell, even if you discount the last twenty years of Simpsons episodes, those first ten years were so jam packed with comedy gold that it more than establishes the show’s legacy as the greatest television series in history.

Which brings me to our Open Post. I’m curious what your favorite Simpsons quote is, or perhaps the one you use most in everyday life. There are so many to choose from, and I know many of us will have the same ones, but I’ll kick you off with a handful of my favorites from each category.

As far as straight up favorite quotes from the show proper, I’ve got two. Of course there’s the classic coda to “Homer vs the Eighteenth Amendment” where Homer toasts, “To alcohol, the cause of and solution to all of life’s problems.” Then you’ve got Ned Flanders’ darkest moment when he confesses to being “more animal than man,” after a flashback where he declared Ann Landers to be a “boring old biddy,” in season four’s “Duffless.”

Now, as far as ones I use on a regular basis, there’s two that have become a major part of my life. First is Milhouse’s “When are they gonna get to the fireworks factory?” from my favorite episode “The Itchy & Scratchy & Poochie Show.” It’s the perfect retort to any film that’s dragging ass or, if you’re really daring, any meeting at work that’s been going on for the length of a bible.

The other one I use all the time is Jasper a.k.a. Frostilicus’ “What a time to be alive,” from my favorite Lisa episode, “Lisa the Simpson.” This one can be applied to anything from dissing a fact meant to astonish you to a co-worker’s rambling story about their weekend. It’s pretty all-purpose, but I find it works best in the former situations. It works great when your dad is talking about the features in his car.

Then there’s all the ones I casually toss out on a daily basis from “Supernintendo Chalmers” to “I need those to live!” as well as “Less artsy, more fartsy,” and of course, the best way to enter any party where you don’t know anyone and you scream, “Dental plan!” Whomever yells back, “Lisa needs braces,” go sit with that person. I’m also positive that there’s at least a dozen I’m forgetting about.

So what about you guys? I want to hear them all, because I’m amazed how this show has worked its way into our daily lives. Let the commenting begin!

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Ana Braga Is Havin A Lot Of Trouble Keeping Her Tiny Top On

I imagine Ana Braga has a lot of trouble keeping any clothes on. Actually, with all of the time I spend imagining Ana doing things, which is quite intensive, her clothing is not usually included. I do not consider that to be an oversight on my part because it is intentional.

I cannot afford to waste the limited resource that is my brain power trying to imagine a designer brand handbag on her body. I probably could not afford the imaginary price tag either. My imaginary credit card is already near being maxed out.

Ana’s turtleneck is an odd choice to me. If the weather is so warm that one is able to wear a sleeveless midriff with Daisy Duke shorts then I am curious to know why your neck is so cold that you need to wear a turtleneck. And isn’t one of the benefits of having long hair being able to wrap it around your neck like a scarf? I think that would be fashionable as well as functional, unlike the abomination that is known as a turtleneck, which is one of the most hideous creatures in existence.

 

 

Photo Credit: Splash News 

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Thong Queens Claudia Romani, Julia Pereira and Laura Bragato Pose In Curvy Bikini Shoot

Claudia Romani should win woman of the month after working overtime in the looks department. Her body is a weapon and she’s declared war on my heart. Romani has recruited her friends Julia Pereira and Laura Bragato to fight right along side her. I’d call for backup but I’m selfish. Three women wearing me down until I fall in love with every one of them sounds like an amazing way to be put out of my misery. I knew I wouldn’t have stood a chance after seeing their battle uniforms. Hot bods in barely there bikinis mean these ladies are all business. I’m shaking in my boots and smiling harder than I ever had at the thought.

Thankfully these women are only attacking me for the lion’s share of attention and this isn’t another Battle of Normandy. Because with their explosive bodies on the beach these enchanting ladies can single handedly redefine the definition of D-Day. Claudia sure is a brave woman. I’d be afraid to bring my best friends to the beach because someone may end up being the third wheel. But I’m glad everyone is able to stay on the same page and no one looks left out. The trio is a trifecta of excellence.

Photo Credit: Backgrid USA / Splash News 

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Alessandra Ambrosio Super Sexy Beach Bum In Hawaii

Alessandra Ambrosio is two parts too hot handle with a sprinkle of steaminess in a very tall glass. Shaken, not stirred. I’m willing to risk  it all when it comes to spying on such a spectacle. She doesn’t hide her love for exploration along the shore. It’s as clear as a cloudless sunny beach day with Alessandra and can even be seen from a far distance. Not that I happened to be peeping or anything. I’d love to join her in whatever she seems to be questing for. Most likely it’s seashells or a man who looks great in shirts that are missing sleeves. My muscles have a hard time being contained by sleeves in the summer so she’s in luck. Sun’s out guns out.

Alessandra is possibly the most summer-ready woman I’ve seen since they invented sunscreen. She has sunglasses and a slick white sombrero. This woman is stylish, even when she’s wet. And that deserves some kind of ceremony in her honor. Even if the audience was only myself in a beach chair acknowledging her hotness I would still show up to support her. Ambrosio’s award can be the biggest cone of ice cream the boardwalk has to offer a lady who always wins first place in my heart.

Photo Credit: Backgrid USA

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Insanely Hot Romee Strijd Is The Center Of Attention At Her Fragrance Line Party

Romee Strijd gives me a case of the jitters. Just looking at her makes me forget about everything else that may be going on at that moment. What kind of magic does this woman practice if she possesses the power to make a man come down with a temporary case of amnesia quicker than a jackrabbit sprinting on hot tar. The first time I laid eyes on Romee I just happened to be driving. It was both the worst day and best day of my life. On that particular day I became aware that such a spectacular looking woman existed. But after seeing her I also forgot to keep my eyes on the road and drove straight into a ditch. Totaled the vehicle I’d been working on for the entire summer. But I lived to tell about it so this pretty little lady being the cause of my car crash is a forgivable offense. The only thing she’s guilty of is being mesmerizing.

Strijd is almost too perfect to be real. It’s like she belongs on someone’s shoulder giving them good ideas, like the physical manifestations of a person’s conscience in the form of an angel in cartoons. Actually I’d really enjoy Romee dressed very fancily whispering great advice into my ear. I hope she can council me on how to get such a fine woman like herself to join me on a date.

Photo Credit: Splash News

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