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Chrissy Teigen Wanted a Normal Tacky Tattoo, Came Away Looking Like a Holocaust Survivor

Maybe the number one thing on the list of things you’re going to get in trouble for is making light of the Holocaust. I mean, unless you’re making Hogan’s Heroes, in which case go nuts, people loved that show about the incompetent guards in the Nazi prison camp.

Now, I am positive that Chrissy Teigen just wanted a cute tattoo to remind her of her family and settled on her, her husband’s and her two kid’s birthdays. It’s a cute idea, maybe up on your bicep with a heart around it, right? Wouldn’t that be adorable? What she did get was a series of numbers tattooed on the inside of her forearm.

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cool mom back at it again with @winterstone!!!!

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Again, I am positive that Teigen never realized for a second that she had marched (goose-stepped?) into a tattoo parlor and asked for a Dachau Special.

This really does seem like the sort of thing a tattoo artist should catch. Like, day one of tattoo school class should be “no strings of numbers on the inside of the forearm and no penises on the face of someone who is passed out drunk.”

Honestly, I think Teigen’s only real play here is to become a Holocaust-denier. It’s probably preferable to being this level of uninformed. When anyone brings it up just say “That’s a myth, Hitler just wanted to get all the Jews in one place to throw them a big party.” It worked for Mel Gibson,

The post Chrissy Teigen Wanted a Normal Tacky Tattoo, Came Away Looking Like a Holocaust Survivor appeared first on The Blemish.

Victoria’s Secret Announces They’s Hired Ali Tate Cutler, the Brand’s First Size 14 Model

Victoria’s Secret has been desperately trying to cling to relevance in this era of mall closure around the world. It turns out that poorly-made, overpriced underwear isn’t all that attractive when it’s not next to the Orange Julius you’re going to stop at on your weekly shopping trip.

One recent criticism of the brand is that all their models are attractive, which is bad now because we want inspiring stories about trans runway models with no legs protesting the war on drugs or whatever. So Victoria’s Secret has hired their first size 14 model, Ali Tate Carter.

E! reported that the brand has had other plus sized models, but Ali is the largest woman the brand has ever employed at size 14. Let’s a have a look at what that means.

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Here’s my ride or die @sambridgestudios. I don’t talk about my personal relationships too much on insta but I figured this is one love story that may be encouraging for some people to hear. I have a lot of people in my life searching for a romantic relationship and feeling exasperated by the modern dating scene of swiping right only to discover that there isn’t much chemistry. We can only find out so much from a few carefully curated photos and a pithy bio. We met almost 9 years ago on a bus at 2 am in London. It was the last seat left and I sat next to him. He kept checking me out and my immediate thought was “creep” and I said, “Can I help you with something?” Really taken aback and kind of timidly he said, “Hi, my name is Sam Bridge. What’s your name?” I was like, okay, not standard creep response, let’s chat. When I said I needed to get off at the next stop, he asked me for my number and told me he would ride this bus every day for the rest of the year if I didn’t. He called me 10 minutes after I got off the bus and said, “Look, I’m not doing this whole 3 day thing, I need to see you tomorrow.” I was intrigued by the honesty and vulnerability. We hung out for almost 24 hours the next day and that started our immediately close and intense relationship that would take us to many countries, a quick marriage ceremony with three people present so that we could stay together without visa issues, and many ups and downs. I didn’t have a smart phone 8 years ago, and neither did he. If we did have them, there’s a chance we both would have been glued to our phones and never looked at one another or started talking. Sometimes you can miss your people in those small moments, the ones when we’re idly scrolling. Dating apps are great and I know people who have had success meeting someone on them. But nothing is better to me than meeting someone IRL and feeling their energy, and letting those sometimes awkward first conversations spark. Cliche, but here is to putting our phones down a little bit more and being in the present moment because you may have a chance encounter that takes you down an amazing path.

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Hey, wait a second, she’s just a super hot woman with slightly thick thighs. This is what the fuss is about? There were a bunch of headlines about this.

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My friend by me on a summer day

A post shared by Ali Tate (@ali_tate_cutler) on

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When in doubt find a dog and chill tf out

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I love that all Victoria’s Secret had to do to get all the woke cred they were missing was hire a slightly thick super hot model.

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Evolving, don’t have time tryna be skinny

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That’s her “not tryna be skinny.”

The post Victoria’s Secret Announces They’s Hired Ali Tate Cutler, the Brand’s First Size 14 Model appeared first on The Blemish.

Aaron Carter had a Brief Moment of Sanity, Quickly Fled Back to Crazy Town

I almost feel bad for Aaron Carter. I say almost because he dated Hilary Duff so fuck that guy, he doesn’t need our pity. But he has been having a pretty rough go of it lately.

Carter went off the deep end, ending up the subject of blind gossip items and making wild allegations against his family members. He also got a giant tattoo on his face, and had to be talked out of doing something stupid by the guy who did said face tattoo.

Carter recently seemed to come to his senses and made a conciliatory gesture to his family on social media, but quickly came to his lack of senses and deleted it.

 Via Fox News:

The troubled singer, 31, tweeted and deleted his desire to make right with brother Nick Carter, writing, “I’ve been very hurt by the fact that my big brother has not made an effort to be part of my life for a long time. So therefore, I lashed out and said some hurtful things I did not mean to say.”

“I love my brother,” he added. “I love my family, and all I want is peace and love for everybody.”

It’s a nice sentiment that he apparently decided he doesn’t stand by. Still hasn’t deleted that Instagram post calling his brother a rapist, though.

The post Aaron Carter had a Brief Moment of Sanity, Quickly Fled Back to Crazy Town appeared first on The Blemish.

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Andy Dick Is Doing Great

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The post Andy Dick Is Doing Great appeared first on The Blemish.

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Mason Rudolph Is No Longer Conscious

The post Mason Rudolph Is No Longer Conscious appeared first on The Blemish.

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Ronnie Ortiz-Magro: Should He Be Fired from Jersey Shore?

I was in a bad place in my life and my relationship and I acted out of anger & immature resentment...

I’ve grown & wouldn’t want to hurt my girlfriend or my daughter, everyone makes mistakes and you’ll see that I learned from mine. I wouldn’t never put myself in that position again to hurt the two people I love the most in my life.

I want to lead by example for my daughter and how to be a real man and I need to lead how to be a good boyfriend/husband. I’m sorry.

This is what Ronnie Ortiz-Magro said in November of 2018.

Ronnie Ortiz-Magro no shirt

Fast forward nearly a year... and the Jersey Shore star was arrested for attacking Jen Harley with a knife, reportedly because he was on cocaine and allegedly while holding his 18-month old daughter in his arms.

In other words:

Ronnie has learned almost nothing, and changed barely at all.

While there are major personal ramifcations at stake for Ronnie as a result of this incident -- Will he go to jail? Will he lost custody of young Ariana? -- there's also a professional consequence.

It's about time we wonder whether Ronnie deserves to be featured on MTV any longer, don't you think?

Jen Harley and Ron Ron

According to various outlets, Ronnie completely flipped his $hit just  before 3 a.m. on Friday.

He and Harley reportedly got into yet another screaming match, this one turning violent and dangerous for all involved.

Ronnie is accused of chasing his on-again/off-again girlfriend around with a weapon and then grabbing the couple's infant daughter and locking him inside the home the couple had been renting.

When police arrived on the scene, Ronnie refused to be taken into custody... prompting authorities to use a taser in order to subdue the reality star.

Photos later emerged of a shirtless Ronnie being wheeled away on a gurney while handcuffed.

Ronnie was arrested for assault against Harley and a charge of kidnapping has since been added to the record.

Is he innocent until proven guilty? Yes.

But one need not be convicted of a crime to be fired from a reality program.

Just ask Farrah Abraham, who was let go from Teen Mom because she starred in amateur pornography videos.

Or Jenelle Evans, who was booted from the same franchise because Child Protection Services deemed her an unfit mother -- even though no charges were ever filed against her.

Ronnie and Jen on the Beach

Raking in money from a cable network and garnering vast fame and fortune as a result of a role on Jersey Shore is a privilege, not a right.

Ronnie doesn't need to be a certified criminal for producers to decide that his time on the series has run its course.

So... should they make this call?

Has Ronnie's contentious relationship with Harley -- which has included multiple arrests at this point, as well as very ugly fights over social media -- created a situation in which Ortiz-Magro is simply too poisonous of a presence to employ?

He's a father, remember.

There's an innocent little girl in the middle of all this, someone who may sadly have to read about her parents awful exploits online because they're featured on a popular television show.

This is why we're asking you to vote below:

SHOULD MTV FIRE RONNIE ORTIZ-MAGRO FROM JERSEY SHORE?

And the Winner is?

Ronnie Ortiz-Magro continues to break the law and set an awful example. Should he lose his job? View Poll »

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Ronnie Ortiz-Magro and Jen Harley: Losing Custody of Child After Latest Arrest?!

So, in case you missed it, Ronnie Ortiz-Magro went and got himself into trouble again.

That in itself isn’t a shock, since Ronnie has been on a serious downward spiral for a good long while now.

But the story about what actually happened is pretty darn intense, even for him.

Late Thursday night and into Friday morning, Ron and his girlfriend, Jen Harley, had some kind of issue, as they often do.

They were at an Airbnb with their daughter, 18-month-old Ariana, when they started arguing.

Things escalated, and Ron allegedly slapped and punched her.

She ran outside and started screaming for help — there isn’t an “allegedly” for this part, because apparently several neighbors called 911 to alert authorities of that part of the situation.

But instead of just letting her go, Ron ran after her with a knife in one hand and baby Ariana in the other.

Jen wouldn’t listen, so he dropped the knife, went back inside with the kid, and locked the door.

When police arrived, they asked him to open the door, and when he refused, they broke down the door so they could make sure Ariana was OK.

She was, but Ronnie still refused to cooperate, so out came the taser.

He was pretty incapacitated, on account of being tasered, so he was taken to a hospital before he was taken to jail and booked on kidnapping charges.

What a ride, huh?

A terrible, horrifying, just inexcusably awful ride.

Jen told police that Ronnie went off after doing some cocaine, which might explain his behavior a bit, but it’s obviously not an excuse.

Especially when he and Jen both have such a history of being violent with each other, including but certainly not limited to that time that she dragged him with her car.

The whole incident honestly sounds terrifying, and it sounds like the worst bit of violence between them yet, which is really saying something.

But was it so bad that they could both end up losing custody of Ariana?

According to a lawyer who spoke with Hollywood Life, yeah.

The lawyer, a family law attorney in California named David T. Pisarra, doesn’t personally know Ronnie and Jen, but it’s safe to say he’s familiar with situations like these.

And as he explains it, Ronnie could be facing an additional charge of child endangerment for what went down, and if he does, then “the government may not allow” any kind of reconciliation between him and Jen.

We all know that they have a history of getting into these kinds of fights, breaking up, then getting back together and giving interviews and how they’ve changed and grown and how everything is fine now.

But according to this lawyer, “It’s conceivable that the Department of Child & Family Services might not let that happen.”

“DCFS could threaten to take the baby from them if she gets back together with Ron because she’s putting the baby in a dangerous position.”

“They could charge Jen with negligent parenting,” he adds.

Additionally, “DCFS could require Jen to get a restraining order against Ronnie to protect herself and the baby from him.”

But if Jen does decide to leave him for good, she has “a phenomenal case for sole custody,” which makes sense.

“The prior abuse in their relationship is between them alone, but the fact that Ronnie was holding the baby while he’s chasing Jen now involves the kid,” the attorney says.

Going forward, she could potentially get one of two different kinds of restraining orders — a criminal protective order or a civil domestic restraining disorder.

Either would be easy for her to obtain, and if she got one, it’s extremely likely that she’d end up with sole custody of Ariana, with Ron getting some kind of supervised visitation.

So it’s looking like if Jen is finally done with Ron, he could lose custody of Ariana, but if she tries to get back together with him, then they could both lose custody.

And that’s why you don’t (allegedly!) do a bunch of cocaine and then (also allegedly) chase your girlfriend with a knife while holding your baby.

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