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Even the Monkey Economy Is Being Affected by the Coronavirus

The post Even the Monkey Economy Is Being Affected by the Coronavirus appeared first on The Blemish.

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Albanés
Alemán
Amhárico
Árabe
Armenio
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Bielorruso
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Búlgaro
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Harvey Weinstein Sentenced to 23 Years in Prison

Harvey Weinstein

Disgraced Hollywood mogul Harvey Weinstein was sentenced to 23 years in prison after being convicted of two felony sex crimes.

Weinstein did not testify in his own defense at his trial, but he did make a statement before sentencing. He spoke before the court for about 20 minutes and expressed his regrets about various things, including his extramarital affairs.

He said he considered the criminal sexual conduct he was convicted of consensual encounters and that he was confused, as he thinks men, in general, are. He described his relationships with his accusers as “serious friendships” and claims the women pursued him for years and benefited professionally from their relationships with Weinstein.

He described himself as generous to his accusers and said he passed his success forward to others. He’s helped sick people get doctors, y’all.

He reminded the court of his charity efforts after 9/11 and Hurricane/Superstorm Sandy and said he hopes to become a better man in prison.

Weinstein weirdly expressed worry for the country and about Hollywood blacklisting himself and others because they could be suspected of being communists. And he also spoke about his former idea of building a hospital just for people who have been blacklisted. Then he said everyone is on a blacklist.

He admitted he had said bad things to people and fought with his brother but was a great guy to many others. He spoke about how he worked his way up in the industry, but it was never about power. His focus, he says, was always on making great movies. He said he never had the power to blacklist anyone.

Harvey’s greatest regret, according to him, is not spending more time with his family and maintaining a relationship with his children. His three oldest children do not speak to him since the start of the #metoo movement.

After being sentenced to 23 years in prison and returned to Rikers Island, Weinstein was transferred to Bellevue Hospital in New York due to chest pains.

Out of An Abundance of Caution, Absolutely Everything is Cancelled Because of the Coronavirus

I hope you didn’t have any plans, because they’re cancelled. Pretty much any plans, really. South by Southwest? Cancelled. E3? Cancelled. Had concert tickets? They’re cancelled. Wanted to head to the stadium and catch a ball game? Cancelled and even more cancelled. Gonna go to church and pray because you’re worried about it? Cancelled. Want to leave the country? Nope.

Okay, so, you’re not going anywhere. At least you can watch some TV right? Maybe catch up on Riverdale? Nope.

Experts are even suggesting we should cancel our orgies to fight the spread of the coronavirus. That is a bridge too far, my friend. Why even bother to not get the coronavirus if it leads to a world without orgies?

On the bright side, Daniel Radcliffe doesn’t have the coronavirus despite a fake viral article. But unfortunately, Tom Hanks does. Man, I hope he’s okay.

But at least we know O.J. Simpson is staying safe from the virus.

So what can you do? Well, you can go to work unless you want to get fired, lose your house and starve to death, which kind of defeats the purpose of closing everything to begin with.

But there are lots of things to do if you’re stuck inside. Red Dead Redemption 2 and Spider-Man for PS4 are pretty cheap now. You could also watch all those Netflix original comedies like Bojack Horseman and Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt until they start to go downhill, which is almost universally after the first season. Big Mouth has a pretty consistent level of quality, but that’s mostly because it’s a really low bar to being with. We get it, the Too Much Tuna guys are horny teenagers and it’s woke but not really.

I’m not a doctor, but I am on social media so I feel qualified to give medical advice. We don’t know how bad this outbreak is going to be, just that it will fall somewhere between “not very” and “extremely”.

You’ve no doubt heard the advice; wash your hands, don’t touch your face, avoid crowds. It doesn’t mean you won’t get sick but it does decrease your chances of getting sick and that’s the best you can do.

The post Out of An Abundance of Caution, Absolutely Everything is Cancelled Because of the Coronavirus appeared first on The Blemish.