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John Mayer Made Out With Perez Hilton to Try to Smooth Over His Feud With Jessica Simpson

You’ll often hear complaints about how men fetishize lesbians from feminist thinkers and anti-porn crusaders, but you should see how women drool at the prospect of two dudes going at it. Japan has a whole genre of porn comics called yaoi that’s men having sex with men for the benefit of women.

Perez Hilton has been trying to prove that John Mayer is bisexual for well over a decade, and yes these two things are related. Hilton has a new memoir out and the most interesting story in it is about making out with John Mayer and Jessica Simpson.

Page Six had an excerpt.

He said that they ran into the musician couple, and Mayer told Hilton, “I like to watch gay porn, you know,” adding, “My favorite porn star is Brent Corrigan. He really turns me on” — and then he kissed Hilton.

Hilton recounts that Simpson seemed mortified and covered her face with her tresses. He said that Mayer then sat back with a “satisfied” look on his face and turned to gaze affectionately at Simpson, who “didn’t seem to know whether she was incredibly embarrassed or really turned on.”

That is very strange, and it leaves out that Simpson joined in the snog herself.

Mayer said later that he did it because Hilton was “acting as though he had just invented homosexuality. All of a sudden I thought, I can outgay this guy right now.”

So I think Hilton is right about the bisexual thing, though I’m not sure John Mayer actually knows it, kind of like me when I was a teenager watching Boy Meets World convinced I just thought Will Friedle was a really great comedic actor and that was why I wanted to lick his chest and I was just watching because I totally had a crush on Topanga. Which I totally did, that part was true.

Simpson’s friends say they were horrified at the kiss but that Simpson just thought Mayer could do no wrong, but she clearly thought it was hot. Other than Perez Hilton being involved she was probably right.

The post John Mayer Made Out With Perez Hilton to Try to Smooth Over His Feud With Jessica Simpson appeared first on The Blemish.

Kim Kardashian Nursed Kanye Through COVID Before He Called Her a White Supremacist on Social Media

The past few months have made a few things exceptionally clear, specifically that Kim Kardashian is a really good person and Kanye West is… not.

You may recall how Kanye decided to run for President and used his campaign to air all his dirty laundry with his wife Kim Kardashian, who we now know has a heart as big as her ass.

Page Six reported on exactly what Kim did for Kanye when he had COVID, and I absolutely wouldn’t hold a campaign rally and tell everyone she considered an abortion if she did that for me.

“Kanye had it way at the beginning, when nobody really knew what was going on,” she told Grazia magazine. “It was so scary and unknown. I had my four babies and no one else in the house to help.”

The star said that she had to change his sheets and help him get out of bed “when he wasn’t feeling good.”

“It was a challenge because it was so unknown,” she said. “Changing his sheets with gloves and a face shield was really a scary time.”

I don’t even remember hearing about Kanye getting COVID, that’s how crazy he was acting all summer. He was acting more outlandish than a global pandemic. That’s impressive even for Kanye West.

The post Kim Kardashian Nursed Kanye Through COVID Before He Called Her a White Supremacist on Social Media appeared first on The Blemish.

Melania Trump Sounds Super Jealous of ‘Porn Hooker’ Stormy Daniels

A lot of people try to shame Melania Trump for having been a nude model, but I always find that a little self-defeating. “Yeah, we’re going to put the entire women’s movement back 50 years to own the First Lady, she’s an international embarrassment because we saw her boobs.” Dude, France’s First Lady is a pedophile and Germany’s First Gentleman is married to Angela Merkel, Melania Trump is not the reason Europeans hate you, she’s one of them.

Now, Donald Trump famously cheated on her with Stormy Daniels, and he didn’t sound all too concerned at the prospect of her leaving him over it. That decision worked out well for her, the finish line is in sight now. Melania also didn’t seem too bothered by the affair, but sue did sound pissed Daniels was getting more attention than she was.

TMZ reported one of Melania’s friends secretly recorded a conversation with the First Lady, and she sounded more jealous of the attention Daniels got than the fact that she had sex with her husband.

Anyway, Melania says … “Go Google and read it, Annie Leibovitz shot the porn hooker, and she will be in one of the issues” Wolkoff responded with confusion about the term “porn hooker,” forcing Melania to say Stormy’s name.

I’m not crazy in thinking the thing Melania is angry about here is that she didn’t get a photo shoot with Annie Leibovitz and not that the husband stuck his tiny Smurf house dick inside Daniels while watching Shark Week, right?

The post Melania Trump Sounds Super Jealous of ‘Porn Hooker’ Stormy Daniels appeared first on The Blemish.

Hannah Brown and Tyler Cameron Reveal How Their Shared “Trauma” Finally Brought Them Back Together

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Why Selling Sunset’s Amanza Smith Says Her Relationship With Taye Diggs Was “Never Going to Work”

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The Daughter of This Famous Fashion Designer Is Competing on Matt James’ Bachelor Season

Matt James, The BachelorMatt James' potential Bachelor contestants were just revealed, and there's already major buzz surrounding one contestant. And that lucky lady is none other than Kit Keenan, the...

Mindy Kaling Shares an Update on Legally Blonde 3 With Reese Witherspoon

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Bella Hadid’s Latest Transformation Will Take You Back to the Early 2000s

Bella HadidBella Hadid has a new 'do, and we're hair for it. The 23-year-old supermodel made the New York City streets her runway after she was spotted leaving a hair salon on Tuesday, Oct....

The Bachelorette Men Threaten to "Walk Out" in Stunning New Promo

In the a new trailer for Clare Crawley's upcoming season of The Bachelorette, Chris Harrison says what we're witnessing is "historic."

But here's the thing:

He may not be referring to what everyone out there assumes.

By now, through a number of The Bachelorette spoilers that have been confirmed by a number of reliable sources, we know that Crawley only sticks around for 12 days of filming this fall.


Because she falls so hard for a contestant named Dale Moss that she sees no reason to continue shooting and continue pretending as if any other guy on set has a shot at her heart.

According to a bombshell report, producers even helped convinced Clare to go home early.

Tayshia Adams will be brought in to take over for Crawley and, yes, Harrison has already talked about how crazy and wild the season will be as a result.

("It is unlike anything we have ever seen on this show before," the popular host recently teased.

"I know I say that sometimes, but I truly think we have outdone ourselves this time. I think it definitely goes up on the Mount Rushmore of wild seasons of Bachelor and Bachelorette.")

However, based on this footage depicted here, it appears as if something ELSE unprecedented is about to go down.

Early on, the trailer comes across like every other trailer in The Bachelorette history, with Clare talking excitedly about her journey -- and also with Clare kissing a lot of men.

Including one in a blindfold.

But then it takes a turn.

There's a shot of one of contestants crying and saying "it's just scary" after Crawley asks someone if everyone there is lying to her.

And then?!?

Another guy can be heard saying, "How about the 15 of us walk out?"

Whoa there, right??? This would be quite the development.

It would also be an understandable development if the other men just found out about Moss and Clare's feelings for him, you know?

ABC, of course, has remained mum about Clare and Dale -- and the related stunner that Adams gets brought in to take over as The Bachelorette.

But it remains an accepted fact at this point, with the only real question centering on whether or not Crawley is actually engaged to Moss right now.

We don't have that information for fans just yet.

We do know, however, that Clare concludes this trailer in a puddlle of tears, making us think her time as The Bachelorette -- as brief as it may end up being -- isn't exactly smooth sailing.

Look for the adventure to begin on Tuesday, October 13 at 8/7c on ABC.

And look at this preview for an emotional, intense andd mysterious glimpse at what's ahead!

The bachelorette suitors threaten to walk out in stunning new pr

Guess the Celebrity Bikini Baby Bump and Other Fine Things!

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The post Guess the Celebrity Bikini Baby Bump and Other Fine Things! appeared first on Egotastic - Sexy Celebrity Gossip and Entertainment News.

October 2020 Celeb Book Club Picks from Jenna Bush Hager, Reese Witherspoon & More

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Ian Ziering Says He Doesn’t “Doubt” Jessica Alba’s Claim About 90210 Set Rules

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James Charles Reveals to Naomi Campbell Exactly How Much Work He’s Had Done

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Cardi B Denies Being In the Illuminati!

Cardi B has been accused of being part of the illuminati, which is said to be a group that basically runs to world and the entertainment industry. Cardi was being accused of this because she posted a photo of herself dressed as the devil in a red latex outfit complete with giant horns. I’m sure it’s more of a Halloween costume than it is a shout out to the elite but who knows anymore, with 2020 anything is possible.

Cardi also posted a photo of her dressed as an angel and explained that she’s not part of the Illuminati but was simply working on a new TikTok video!

The post Cardi B Denies Being In the Illuminati! appeared first on Egotastic - Sexy Celebrity Gossip and Entertainment News.

Russell Westbrook Left $8,000 Tip For Housekeepers After NBA Bubble Exit

Incredible gesture by Houston Rockets superstar Russell Westbrook ... who showed his thanks to the NBA bubble housekeepers by leaving a fat, $8,000 tip!!! Remember, most players were stuck in the same hotel room on the Disney World campus for…

How Internet Nice Guys Evolved Into Today’s Simps

Every once in a while, Twitter will come up with a word that will get used by a certain group, whether it’s the K-pop stans or the astrology accounts or the progressive coalition. Regardless of who starts the phrase, once it’s spread enough and diffused to enough corners of the web, it becomes a global sensation, evolving and changing depending on where it lands.

We saw it with the word ‘normalize,’ which is how annoying people who think they’re a lot deeper than they are communicate that they don’t like something traditional. We saw it with the word ‘chief,’ which started as an innocent title of endearment for friends with bad takes, before becoming every preteen’s go-to nickname for their friends.

Well, now we’ve got a new one, and it’s been all the rage for the past year.

Yes, welcome to the Era of the Simp.

A simp, as per the Internet’s best encyclopedia Urban Dictionary, is defined as someone who does way too much for a person they’re into. It’s generally targeted towards men, especially young men, who will bend over backwards just in the hopes for a little attention from a woman.

Now, because people online have no originality, what started off as an innocent meme has become the number one insult to be found among conversations on Twitter, Reddit, and Instagram.

Check under any model’s posts – or any social media influencer’s thirst traps – to find dozens of horny guys begging for attention, followed by hundreds more calling them out for what they perceive as simp-like behavior.

In fact, I believe it was the great intellectual Aristotle who first theorized the equation that for every man who demonstrates himself as a simp, there must be no less than four more men who judge him for this behavior, publicly and without consideration.

So why the anti-simp hate? What does it represent for our culture that guys who are overly-nice are so resented for it? Well, in truth the answer has two branches, one moderately funny and one very much not.

To start with the less-funny of the two, simps are often associated with guys who equate being nice in their heads to automatic sex. They assume that if they send enough good morning texts to a girl, if they buy her flowers enough time or bombard her with attention 24/7, or heaven forbid be her shoulder to cry on, then they’re first in line when the girl is looking to get her rocks off.

If they just accept that it’s not happening, they’re simping (note the verb form), especially if they keep up their behavior in a weird self-hating, self-defeating cycle of courting. However, if they don’t accept the fact that the woman is just not into them, they enter incel territory.

Incels (short for involuntary celibates) are sort of like the unfunny, horrible version of simps. Simps want you to fall in love with them for their actions; incels expect to be rewarded for their kindness with sex and can commonly flip out if they don’t get it. These guys are psychos.

Now, a vast majority of simps aren’t toxic, misogynistic creeps, they’re just lonely guys desperate for some attention. This is the other branch of why simps get such a bad rap – they’re consistent, they’re public, and they’re often pathetic.

Think of a person you’re into, or a partner you’re dating. Now imagine that, under their Facebook posts, you have one of their friends consistently commenting, consistently sending hearts and jokes and flirting with them. Every time there’s a chance to be present, that person takes it.

After about a month, it’s exhausting. After about three, you start to grow resentful, both if you’re the person being bombarded and if you’re the other people watching. Quite simply, no one wants to watch that much desperation constantly.

Simping very much falls into this trap, where a guy gets a moderate return on his consistent barrage of affection towards a woman. Perhaps he buys her dinners and gifts and a new car, and is too blind to realize that no, she’s not busy for the eighth Friday in a row, she’s just not interested in dating you.

Simps fall partly into conflict with toxic macho culture, because as a society nobody wants to see men bending over backwards for women. They make think they’re pushing the conversation with their ‘Every woman is a queen’ discourse, but in reality they’re just building resentment and scorn.

There is another definition of simping, one less commonly-seen but still very much a recent development on the interwebs, and that’s more of a mood than a character trait. Simping is the act of being in your feelings to an almost gratuitous degree.

That guy who’s always got his guitar out (never playing, though), staring off into the distance? The guy who brings up depression any chance he gets, just to show how unique and interesting he is? Those guys are simps.

Think 2011 Drake, or 2010 Kid Cudi. We’re talking about, sitting at the bar with a nice drink and looking down at your hands as you think deep thoughts. Even better with those thoughts are linked to a girl you see on the street outside for a moment but for whom you’ve already convinced yourself to fall.

Much like the original definition of simping, this second, less-common definition is more commonly found in men than women (though some women do be sending thirsty tweets to Ryan Reynolds, and he’s absolutely noticed you simping ladies). Generally speaking, men are more often working to get laid, leading to a myriad of strategies.

So, to recap: how bad is it to be a simp? Eh.

As long as you’re not bordering incel territory (in that you’re beginning to feel entitled to women and their bodies), you’re fine. Some guys are just inherently more passive, more likely to let beautiful girls walk all over them, just for some time with them.

Is it healthy for either of you? Hell no. Is it perhaps just a symbol of the times we live in today? Quite possibly.

The post How Internet Nice Guys Evolved Into Today’s Simps appeared first on The Blemish.

Support the Postal Service in Style With the Casetify x USPS Collab!

E-comm: Casetify x USPSWe love these products, and we hope you do too. E! has affiliate relationships, so we may get a small share of the revenue from your purchases. Items are sold by the retailer, not E!....

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills: Who’s In? Who May Be Out?

Are you ready for the ultimate cast shake-up?

Over the last few days, rumors have started to ramp over in regard to which cast members on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills may be on their way out -- and which may be taking their place.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Fight

At this point, you knoow where it starts, right?

Denise Richards.

The actress and polarizing personality announced in early September that she will not be returning to the franchise, not after she spent many months on air staving off attacks from Brandi Glanville and her co-stars.

Few viewers out there were surprised by this decision, however.

Denise Richards Cries Hard

About two weeks after Richards chose to move away from reality television, Teddi Mellencamp confirmed that she was being forced out by Bravo.

"I recently found out that my contract as a Housewife is not being renewed," the cast member said in a moment of honesty last month, adding:

"It feels like a breakup, almost. 

"Because you develop such strong relationships with the cast, with the crew. And you get to do incredible things that you probably never get to experience without the show."

Teddi Mellencamp Arroyave Pic

So there you have it: Teddi is out and Denise is out.

Might two other mainstays be joining these ladies on the sidelines?

Both Lisa Rinna and Erika Jayne have removed "The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills" from their Instagram bios, prompting quite a bit of speculation from followers.

The former has been a regular on the series since Season 5, while the latter has been doing her thing on air since Season 6.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills duo

For whatever it's worth, Erika no longer has anything in her bio right now, while Rinna's lists everything but the Bravo program:

“Actress, Host, NY Times Best Selling Author, Wife of Harry Hamlin, Mother of two beauties, designer of the Lisa Rinna Collection on QVC - United Talent Agency."

We'll keep a close eye on these women and their social media machinations in order to keep readers as well apprised as possible of their futures on the series.

As for who might take their place if they do leave? Or who might come on board with Richards and Mellencamp out of the picture? 

Lisa Rinna Tells It Like It Is at the Season 10 Reunion

Glanville claims that Kathy Hilton is already on board.

On Brandi’s newest episode of her Unfiltered podcast, the 47-year-old alleged that Kathy is “coming on” to star on the next Real Housewives of Beverly Hills season.

“I talk to Kim [Richards] I talk to Kyle. [Lisa] Rinna and I text. I’m friends with Sutton [Stracke],” Brandi said on this podcast episode, adding:

“I’m friends with Kathy, Kathy Hilton is coming on, I’m friends with all of them."

Kathy Hilton and Kyle Richarrds

The 61-year-old socialite is mother to Paris Hilton and the half-sister of Kim and Kyle Richards.

She won't be a full-time cast member next season, though, Glanville says. She'll simply be a "friend of...," just like Brandi was this past season.

“I think it’s already out there, so I’m hoping I’m not spilling anything," Brandi said.

"I think that’ll be interesting because it’s always interesting to have a family dynamic."

Kyle Richards, Faye Resnick and Kathy Hilton

According to TMZ, Hilton was offered a regular role on the franchise, but she's actually the one who doesn't want to commiit full-time.

It will be easier to make cameos, a source has told Page Six of Hilton's thinking, because part-timers don’t have to take part in the grueling postseason reunion specials, which take several days to produce.

Oh, and also for the record:

Kris Jenner will NOT be joining the cast.

Shay Mitchell Hits the Surf!

Surfing seems to be gaining more popularity in 2020 because it’s a sport that can be done at a safe social distance, and because people have more time than ever to actually get outside and take advantage of the incredible oceans we have access to. Surfing is fun and girls who surf seem to have the best booties in the biz, I’m looking at you, Anastasia Ashley.

Shay Mitchell is the most recent celebrity to hit the waves, she posted this photo shot at golden hour that shows the Pretty Little Liar in a bright yellow bikini with a surfboard over her head. A big contrast to what she’s used to posting, high fashion selfies and what not!

The post Shay Mitchell Hits the Surf! appeared first on Egotastic - Sexy Celebrity Gossip and Entertainment News.

Bebe Rexha and Doja Cat Team Up!

Bebe Rexha has been celebrating hitting Diamond status on her song Meant to Be, which has sold over 10 million copies and she’s been busy dying her own hair this bright red colour in her bathroom sink. Somehow, Bebe found time to record a song with Doja Cat, an artist who went viral for her catchy songs being used on TikTok.

The pair are getting ready to drop the visual for the song on YouTube this Friday and have been hyping us up by releasing photos like the ones below. It looks like the song, called Baby I’m Jealous will have a jungle themed music video, with Doja Cat wearing some sort of Adam and Eve inspired leaf bra and underwear set and our girl Bebe is rocking that red hair with a contrasting green bustier!

The post Bebe Rexha and Doja Cat Team Up! appeared first on Egotastic - Sexy Celebrity Gossip and Entertainment News.

Heidi Klum Does TikTok!

Heidi Klum is getting into the Halloween spirit, which is expected because she’s basically the queen of being spooky. But she’s also been spending time with her kids and learning TikTok dances, which seems really hard to do but somehow the supermodel makes her fails look just as great as her wins. Here she is doing her best TiKTok dance to an Abba song from her generation!

The post Heidi Klum Does TikTok! appeared first on Egotastic - Sexy Celebrity Gossip and Entertainment News.

Dua Lipa’s G String Selfie!

Dua Lipa and her boyfriend Anwar Hadid went out in New York City last night for a little COVID Date Night and the singer went full 2000’s themed with her outfit. Dua snapped a pre-date mirror selfie before heading out and showed off her outfit, which was a pair of baggy jeans that sit low enough to expose her high waisted g-string! She also wore a new Heaven by Marc Jacobs t-shirt and of course she put on a face mask before heading out!

Dua and Anwar recently welcomed the birth of their niece after Gigi Hadid announced that she had her baby in late September. Dua also just dropped the third edition of her song Levitating, complete with a music video featuring DaBaby! Check it out here.

The post Dua Lipa’s G String Selfie! appeared first on Egotastic - Sexy Celebrity Gossip and Entertainment News.

Hailey and Justin Bieber Go Vogue!

Hailey and Justin have just celebrated their 1 year wedding anniversary and what better way to immortalize a year as a married couple than to appear on the cover of Vogue Italia!?

The happy couple were photographed by Eli Russell Linnetz in bed together, topless on the street, and a few shots of Justin on his knees at Hailey’s feet. The styling is pretty great and Hailey is rocking a lot of latex in the shoot, which has been very in style this quarantine!

Here is what Hailey had to say about her man:

“The meaning of these shots translates into the gesture of a man celebrating his woman. There is Justin Bieber, my husband, who puts himself at the service of my femininity and enhances it, giving me a platform to feel strong, sexy and tough. Socially, men have been standing on their pedestal for too many years. It is time for all of this to be subverted.”

The post Hailey and Justin Bieber Go Vogue! appeared first on Egotastic - Sexy Celebrity Gossip and Entertainment News.

Ariana Biermann Reveals Just How “Serious” She and Boyfriend Aaron Scott Are

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Middleton Family Slams Meghan Markle: Stop Begging For Attention!

One of the reasons that Meghan Markle and Prince Harry moved to America was to escape the drama that had been tearing at the fabric of the royal family since the time they started dating.

Needless to say it didn't work.

Greetings, Everyone

Maybe if we were all still relying on parchment and carrier pigeons, it would be impossible to carry on a family feud with one faction in London, and the other in Los Angeles.

But this is 2020 -- a time in which all bad things are possible, and technology allows us to get angry at people all over the world.

Not only has the feud between Meghan Markle and Kate Middleton continued with an ocean separating the two duchesses, in many ways, it seems to have gotten worse.

A Fab Four

Case in point, a member of Middleton's family has now entered the fray, and he seems determined to bring this long-simmering beef to the boiling point.

Kate's uncle Gary Goldsmith, posted an angry rant against Harry and Meghan this week.

"With so much stuff going on in the world, still these two muppets are craving attention," Goldsmith wrote on LinkedIn.

So Royally Awesome

"Please shut the F up and bring up their child and stop talking, let alone demanding," he continued.

"Harry you have lost our love and respect. Meghan you are a wrong'n. Now hush please we are kinda busy saving lives and an economy."

We don't know what's funnier, the absurdity of Gary's claims, or the fact that he posted this nonsense on freakin' LinkedIn.

The Duchess of Sussex

We kid Gary because he seems like a ridiculous person, and he uses words like "wrong'n."

But it's important for us to note that in one respect, the situation is quite serious.

Uncle Gary's ramblings aren't just the latest attack against Meghan from the Kate faithful.

Meghan Markle and Prince Harry in S. Africa

They're a response to a poignant and important article that Meghan and Harry contributed to the Evening Standard this week.

"If you are white and British, the world you see often looks just like you—on TV, in media, in the role models celebrated across our nation. That is not a criticism; it’s reality," the Sussexes wrote.

"Many recognize this, but others are not aware of the effect this has on our own perspective, our own bias, but also the effect it has on young people of color."

A Royal Family Photo

Meghan and Harry were not, as Goldsmith claims, "craving attention."

Instead, they were attempting to contribute to the ongoing conversation about one of the most important topics of our time.

Unfortunately, like so many other Meghan critics, Uncle Gary is armed with such a heavy arsenal of anti-Meghan rhetoric picked up from the British media -- she's just a dumb actress, she's an American social climber, etc. -- that he's forever protected against engaging with her ideas in any sort of substantive way.

Meghan Markle, The Duchess

Usually, when we talk about the rift between Kate and Meghan, we do so from a celebrity gossip perspective, because ... well, this is a celebrity gossip site.

But it's important to bear in mind that even if this war started because of a pair of tights, the way it's playing out in the media often speaks volumes about the society in which we live.

And though the truth that's revealed in rants like Goldsmith's is deeply depressing, it's important to take heed of the idiocy spewing forth from the Uncle Garies of the world.

Because sadly, too many of us have an Uncle Gary in out own family, and they've been getting away with this crap for far too long.

The Bachelor Reveals 43 Women Who Might Compete to Win Matt James’ Heart

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Shawn Mendes Shares the Surprising Reason He Doesn’t Sing Privately for Camila Cabello

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Amanda Bynes is Unrecognizable in Return to Social Media

I don’t know what happened to Amanda Bynes, but something really screwed her up. Bynes has actually been through a lot recently, so let’s recap that.

She, like Britney Spears, is under a conservatorship, but unlike Britney, no one wants to free her. Britney has been making good decisions and seems to be past the mental health issues that necessitated a conservatorship while Amanda Bynes just got a face tattoo.

Bynes also has a boyfriend she wants to marry but her parents won’t let her, though it seems they can’t keep her from dating him.

She also said she was going to have a baby with him in March, but a few months later it turned out she was not actually pregnant, or at least she wasn’t pregnant anymore by May, we don’t actually know which one it was.

Now Amanda is back on Instagram and she has a whole new look, and this time it’s not just “Amanda Bynes but fat.

If you showed me that picture and told me it was Amanda Bynes without context I’d have told you to f**k off. She looks a bit like a way-less-hot Ariel Winter but wearing the clothes I wore in high school during my grunge phase. Is it a phase if it lasts 20 years?

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‘TENET’ Continues Christopher Nolan’s Streak of Being Christopher Nolan

When people bring up their lists of favorite directors, you’ll generally hear the same four or five names thrown around. Alfred Hitchcock, Francis Ford Coppola, Steven Spielberg, George Lucas, occasionally Quentin Tarantino.

If you’re lucky, someone might throw in a Spike Lee, a Woody Allen, a James Cameron, or a Tim Burton. However, for the most part, the lists are short, uninspired, and generally correlated to that person’s favorite childhood movie (hey, nostalgia speaks to the soul, y’know).

But if we’re being objective? If we’re throwing aside the first movie that made us believe a man could fly, or the first time we saw intergalactic space battles on the big screen or the mob portrayed in such a romantic light, or whatever the hell those blue things were in Avatar?

Christopher Nolan has more than earned his spot on any list of directorial greats. Sure, classic film snobs will decry him as too modern, too recent for consideration, but that’s crap. We’re talking about a man who has made quality films for over two decades now.

The fact is, in the twenty-first century, in the era of the ultra-blockbuster and the shared superhero universe, Christopher Nolan has consistently proven himself the critical-commercial darling of the film world.

Let’s start with Memento (2000), his first big movie. This film, based on a short story conceived by his brother and writing partner Jonathan Nolan (yes, of Westworld fame) on a cross-country road trip in the late 1990s. The two transformed the story into a cinematic masterpiece – one told entirely backward.

Yes, that’s right. A reverse-chronological movie, where Guy Pearce’s character (an amnesiac trying to find out what happened to his wife) must write down notes to remember things, as each next scene takes place earlier in the chronology. A movie with strong twists, good acting, and a tight script; hallmarks of the eventual Nolan strategy.

Skipping Insomnia, we then arrive at the Dark Knight trilogy, Nolan’s three-part Batman film series that changed superhero films forever. Ditching the camp and bluster of the 1990s Batman films for a post-9/11 realist take, these films (starring Christian Bale as the Caped Crusader) redefined superheroes for a generation.

Batman Begins (2005) was a definitive origin for the character, building up the legendary superhero and his mythos for a new generation, as Batman faced off against the legendary immortal Ra’s al Ghul (played by the brilliant Liam Neeson).

It was followed three years later by the extraordinary film The Dark Knight (2008), in which Batman must face his arch-nemesis, the Joker. Heath Ledger delivered the performance of a lifetime in this latter role, earning himself an Academy Award in the process, but everybody, from Aaron Eckhart’s Two-Face and Michael Caine’s Alfred Pennyworth to Gary Oldman’s Commissioner Gordon and Morgan Freeman’s Lucius Fox, was worthy of praise.

Finally, the trilogy concluded with 2012’s The Dark Knight Rises, in which Nolan deconstructed the very essence of his protagonist, as the World’s Greatest Detective must come out of a multiyear retirement to face the dangerous mercenary Bane (played by the incomparable Tom Hardy).

These movies changed the game, not just for the burgeoning comic book movie market, but for cinema in general. The performances, the Hans Zimmer score (he tends to pop up around Nolan films, as does Cillian Murphy), the story, the themes, and the cinematography are all examples of filmmaking at its highest aspiration.

Before he even concluded the Nolanverse Batman trilogy, as it’s so affectionately called by DC fans who miss that era, Nolan had started working on other original films. The first was a period piece, 2006’s The Prestige.

This film, starring Christian Bale and Hugh Jackman as rival magicians in turn-of-the-century London, is a riveting look at the perils of ambition, hubris, and ego. It’s at once a brilliantly captivating and funny movie, and a deeply tragic one, featuring cinema’s greatest twist ending.

Then…then there’s 2010’s Inception. This film, a reality-bending heist film that involves thieves traveling through multiple layers of dreams in order to steal secrets, was another smashing success for the director.

The ensemble cast and incredibly intelligent screenplay served to bring Nolan’s vision to life, and it showed how, in addition to spectacle, Nolan was a brilliant filmmaker, given the ten years he spent keeping Inception on the backburner while he figured out the logistical side to production.

Not content to rest on his laurels following Inception and The Dark Knight Rises, Nolan turned to space, most notably in his 2014 film Interstellar. This groundbreaking sci-fi delight featured the collision of science and philosophy.

It ushered in the McConnaughaissance, it broke box office records, and it introduced an entire generation to the heights of the human imagination in space, not unlike what Carl Sagan’s Cosmos did in the 1980s.

Following Interstellar, Christopher Nolan again disappeared, and fans who had been following his (to that point) eight-film record of hits eagerly awaited his return. And return he did, with 2017’s Dunkirk, another period piece, this time focusing on the ‘Miracle at Dunkirk’ evacuation during the early months of the Second World War.

The movie was stressful beyond belief for viewers, even knowing it was a happy story in theory, and featured Nolan writing less dialogue and fewer single scenes, instead focusing on establishing ambiance and mood throughout.

In terms of World War II movies, it holds up in the highest caliber. As a general movie, it, like all of Nolan’s previous entries, is a top-shelf contender for its cinematography, direction, and production.

Which brings us to today, and this year’s TENET, a temporal spy film that promises to do to the espionage genre what Inception did to the heist genre a decade ago. While this film is excellent on its own merit – most reviews will indicate that – it’s rather impressive as yet another notch in Nolan’s belt.

With TENET, Cristopher Nolan has been giving us quality movies for twenty years now, never once missing. He’s broached films in every genre and has consistently pushed the envelope in terms of filmmaking.

Forget the twenty-first century, he belongs in all-time director lists.

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