Who’s Hotter: BFF Edition With Megan McKenna and Olivia Attwood In Little Sexy Bikinis
The last thing any of us ever want to do is make a decision. Typically we are decided between the better of two evils and we won’t really feel good about either choice in the end. Such is life, I guess, but there are a couple of times when picking is great. When no matter what we choose we’ll come out better for it. Megan McKenna or Olivia Attwood bikini, can you really go wrong?
I’m actually asking, can you really make a bad choice between Megan McKenna or Olivia Attwood in a bikini. They are both blonde-ish, both got some awesome cleavage, and that bikini ass is a real winner. So, I guess picking between Megan McKenna or Olivia Attwood in a bikini is like saying do you want $100 in cash or a $100 in your bank account? Either way you are getting money. I gotta say though, Megan McKenna or Olivia Attwood in bikinis is way better than money. I know I can’t pay my rent with Megan McKenna or Olivia Attwood in a bikinis, but I do feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside and that feeling is priceless.
So go ahead, try to make a bad decision. I dare you to pick between Megan McKenna in a sexy bikini or Olivia Attwood in a sexy bikini. See if you make a choice and then feel bad for decision. I don’t think it’s going to happen.
Photo Credit: Splash News
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Singer Madison Beer Desperately Trying to Avoid A Wardrobe Malfunction
I can relate to the struggles of Madison Beer with her swimsuit. I know all too well what it is like to grow out of your favorite piece of clothing, only to be too stubborn to admit defeat. Madison is going to keep trying to force her boobs into that top until the fabric tears away and makes the decision for her to retire it. The same thing happened to me with my favorite pair of running shorts. Although I think there will be less shrieks of horror when her clothes finally fail in public as opposed to when mine did.
A word to the wise, don’t let it get to that point. Do the rational thing and pass it on to a smaller person that can still make use of it. They’ll appreciate it, and you will have protected your modesty, as well as everybody else’s vision. Only a fool decides to bet it all on black every time, and that is exactly what you are doing with old clothing. Except with roulette you have a chance to actually win something. With clothing, you just have the chance to not lose.
Photo Credit: MEGA
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Kimberley Garner Shows Off Her Sexy Figure In Extra Tight Little Bikini
I love being able to gaze upon women’s fashion, while having the comfort of knowing I will never have to deal with it myself. Seeing Kimberley Garner’s swimsuit top makes me realize why men do not have tops for their suits. All of those strings being used are a surefire way to have me accidentally suicide myself in the hotel bathroom before I even make it to the beach.
Even in the days when men’s swimsuits came with shirts the makers made sure to have them attached to the shorts. It was like an adult onesie. There was no risk of losing either item, and certainly no chance of strangling yourself.
Or maybe I should say there was no increased chance of strangling yourself. There is still the chance that some fisherman would snag your collar with his hook and reel you in thinking you were the catch of a lifetime. But that could have still happened if you were wearing a normal shirt.
Not all freak accidents can be prevented by improvements in fashion. For example, men still have to deal with the netting of modern swimsuits causing unbelievable itching when sitting down for more than ten minutes.
[Kimberley Garner’s Very Sexiest Stories Right Over Here]
Photo Credit: MEGA
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Blonde Bikini Girl Alysia Kaempf Flaunts Her Perfect Body In Curvy Photos
Alysia Kaempf can feel free to crash my party anytime. Because it really isn’t a party until she shows up. I don’t throw too many shin digs these days because there really isn’t too much to celebrate when you’re living out in the sticks. But after seeing the body that Alysia is working with, it’s officially time to break out the balloons. Maybe even some confetti and a couple of party time caps. I hope she likes to boogie on the beach because I plan on bringing some amazing tunes.
It may be impossible to find a woman that’s steamier than Kaempf. She’s hotter than an overheated radiator completely deprived of coolant. I’m pretty sure that’s the reason why she’s chugging down so much water and sitting on the edge of the ocean. With a hot chassis like that, she has to constantly keep cool or risk a meltdown. I want to be her water-boy. I’d make sure she’d never need to ask for a refill as long as I’m around. I’d even bring a portable fan along just incase the breeze slows down. And if the batteries ran out I’d blow until I turned blue. Anything to keep her happy.
Photo Credit: Backgrid USA
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Don’t Miss Ashley Graham’s Curvy Bikini Photo Shoot Candids
Oh Ashley Graham, will you ever stop being sexy. I mean, probably when you’re 90, but not anytime soon, and that’s such a blessing for the rest of us. I don’t want to live in a world where Ashley Graham isn’t sexy.
That would be like living in a world where ice cream tasted like water or a rainbow was just one color. It’s not fun or enjoyable in any way, shape, or form. Thank goodness we don’t have to live in that world and that the world we live in is one that has a sexy Ashley Graham.
I can’t imagine looking at these pics of Ashley Graham and just throwing your hands up and saying, “Seen it!” It’s not a fun way to go through life. A fun way to go through life is to get to the end of the gallery and then start all over again, surprised by how sexy Ashley Graham is even after starting at her for an extended period of time.
We can all look at the glass as half whatever you want, but at least the glass has water in it and at least Ashley Graham is sexy. It’s the only way to keep going in such a miserable world.
[More Bikini Hot Shots From Ashley Graham Right Here]
Photo Credit: Backgrid USA
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Zara McDermott’s Extra Sexy Bust And Underboob In Tiny Striped Bikini Top
Well this is just ridiculous. Thanksgiving is still weeks away and here Zara McDermott is busting out her candy cane themed clothing, and spitting in the face of everything our pilgrims worked for. I am speaking about metaphorical spit, obviously. The last pilgrim died long ago after the invention of the martini, if I am not mistaken.
Zara fitting her boobs into that bikini is the equivalent to a child forcing the square block through the round hole on the shapes board. It shouldn’t be possible. I’m not sure how either managed it. But the evidence speaks for itself, so I might as well get past it and hurry along with being impressed.
I think Zara has figured out a functional way to use a corset. By wearing a tight bikini she gets all of the benefits of the stomach crushing device, without the negatives. She still gets the gobsmacking cleavage, and the high-waisted bottoms accentuate her hips, but she doesn’t have to deal with the minor inconvenience of not being able to breathe. Apparently some find this to be an optional ability and I am the weird one for valuing it so highly, but I still think it has its usefulness.
Photo Credit: Backgrid USA / Instagram
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Bella Thorne’s Busty Halloween Lingerie Is A Sweet Treat
Bella Thorne is a bona fide babe. She pretty much blew me away with her Halloween costume this year. I never thought it was possible for someone so pretty to be so scary, and still look so hot at the same time. It’s like my mind is playing tricks on me, and she’s the treat my eyes see. I can’t place my finger on exactly who she’s trying to be, but if I had to guess, I’d say a lady vampire or the bride of Frankenstein. She looks great as either one.
The scariest part about Halloween for me this year was knowing just how far away Bella was. I’d knock on an endless amount of doors just hoping that one of them ends up being hers. I’d even be willing to bring her the best candy around as an offering. And that means there will be no candy corn in the goodie bag I give her. All I ask for in return for my efforts is the opportunity for a better look. She’s so attractive it’s frightening. She could have gone as herself for Halloween if she wanted to.
[Bella Thorne’s Hottest Shots From TMZ]
Photo Credit: Instagram / Backgrid USA
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Emily Ratajkowski Might Have Won Halloween 2018 With Her Pefect Peleolithic Physique
If Cavewomen actually looked as sexy as Emily Ratajkowski I no longer have to wonder how people managed to survive such terrible living conditions. With goods as precious as that to protect I would be willing to face any threat. It doesn’t matter if I had to take down a sabretooth tiger or live in a cave without and HVAC system. The latter of which I would rather die than face again, but for her I would have to push through.
Ensuring that she lives long enough to pass on her genes to the rest of the human race is an honorable mission in life. It is a hell of a lot more honorable than what I have been living for so far. For some reason paying off debt seems to lose its romanticism in comparison.
My knowledge of animal pelts is a little rusty so I am having trouble placing which kind Emily is wearing. Hopefully it comes from a real animal that she killed herself solely for this costume, and is not some faux lookalike. I prefer authenticity in costumes that will only be worn once.
[EmRata’s Hottest Stories Are Just One Click Away]
Photo Credit: Backgrid USA
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Pick Your Favorite Sexy Celeb In A Nurse Costume From Halloween 2018
Not only is being a health care professional one of those recession-proof industries, it’s become the hot new costume for celebrities in 2018. Yesterday’s celebration of Halloween was rife with celebs dressed as sexy nurses, and we’re taking a look at some of our favorite fake nurses!
Busty beauty Bri Teresi is up first, looking like she might not want to work with older men, lest they suffer immediate cardiac arrest upon getting in close proximity to those puppies. Caroline Lowe took things a step further, goring herself up a bit to play a lecherous undead nurse.
Mariah Carey was also getting in on the medical profession-based Halloween fun, though she doesn’t really need that stethoscope. I’ve never seen a nurse use one of those. Someone also needs to tell her beau to take his out of his ears. He looks even dumber than his shirtless doctor costume would indicate.
I guess if I had to go with one of these three ladies to take my temperature—and hopefully have me turn my head and cough—I’d say Bri Teresi is the clear winner. Despite clearly being in a relationship with some mouthbreather, I’d happily take my chances at having her run my insurance card, if you catch my drift!
Photo Credit: Instagram / Twitter
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Victoria’s Secret Model Cindy Bruna Abs-olutely Steals The Show In NYC
If it was a little bit darker out Cindy Bruna’s outfit would make her look like little more than a floating head and belly. For some reason I am oddly okay with that. The best advice to find success is to stick to your strengths, and hers are definitely her face and abs. If I needed an outfit that would accentuate my best features in the dark I would probably need a morph suit with just my Hobbit feet cut out. I know it doesn’t sound like much, but they have a passionate fanbase and I would be a fool to ignore them.
Maybe Cindy is on her way to a Halloween party and her costume is a magician’s assistant. Obviously this is only halfway through the act, and the magician must still bring back the rest of her body. I think that is a very creative costume, unlike some of the other ones I have seen this year.
I never would have thought there would be so many kids dressed up as the KKK where I live. They can cry all they want claiming that they are ghosts, but I can recognize the symbolism of a white sheet and they won’t be getting any candy out of me.
Photo Credit: Backgrid USA / Splash News
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Perfect Body Beth Morgan Poses In Bloody, Beautiful Halloween Corset
I pray I never see the day when I wake up in the morning to find a woman like Beth Morgan covered in blood beside me. Sure, there will be the momentary ecstasy felt upon being reminded of how hot she is, but I think that feeling will leave me pretty quickly. I’m pretty sure it will.
I am thankful that she had mercy on us by splashing that blood on in such a way that it could not possibly be from any real wound. That makes it easier to remind myself that this is all staged. For Beth to have had an injury that caused that pattern of blood she would have had to have a nosebleed and not even bothered to try to stop it. I can have some pretty wicked nosebleeds myself, and if she needs any tips I would be more than happy to provide some.
My paranoia is starting to take over now. What if this was never meant to be Beth’s blood at all? What if it is someone else’s? This would be a great alibi for her to get away with murder. “No, Detective, it couldn’t have been me. I was at a modeling shoot staging my own murder.”
Photo Credit: Instagram / Backgrid USA
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Bikini Girl Zoe Salmon’s Hard Nipple Beachside Candids
I would appreciate it if Zoe Salmon would finally give up on her obsession with having the fittest tummy in the business. It gets to a point where it just makes the rest of us feel guilty. I do not want to know what a belly can look like if it is properly nourished and exercised. I would rather think that our natural shape is supposed to look like we are smuggling bowling balls everywhere we go.
Seeing Zoe proudly displaying her abdominals while she runs through the water makes me think I should be doing more. I mean, I think that for a very brief time, then I move on to thinking about which leftovers I am going to heat up for dinner. Because if there is one thing that can make you content with the state of your body it is reminding yourself why you don’t go the extra mile. Just like a soldier fighting a war taking place half a world away, we need to be reminded what we are fighting for. I am not going to let a moment of weakness make me give up the good fight.
Photo Credit: MEGA
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HalloWeekend Bikini Roundup: Zoe Salmon, Farrah Abraham, and The Best Bikinis From The Skintastic Weekend Before Halloween
All the ladies that weren’t out parading their Halloween costumes this weekend—and some that were—could be found soaking up the sun in smoking hot bikinis! Join us as we take a look at all this past weekend’s hottest bikini babes!
First up is the magnificent Metisha Schaefer, who was absolutely red hot in a red bikini! Next up we’ve got Zoe Salmon in a mismatched ensemble that screams: I didn’t do laundry before this yacht trip!
Following Zoe is the foxiest boxer of the moment, Farrah Abraham, who was getting ready for her boxing match out on a boat. Great training technique, I must’ve missed the montage in the Rocky movies where he went out on a yacht and sparred. Coleen Rooney was also on a yacht this weekend, enjoying a little bubbly and showing off in a pink camo bikini!
There are plenty of other hotties in here to enjoy like Anitta, Winnie Harlow, and even some bonus Metisha Schaefer. That broad clearly won the weekend with her hot looks on the beach. Ah well, it’s always sad to start the week, but we’ll be back next Monday with more weekend bikini sexiness!
[See Farrah Abraham Pulling A Thong Wedgie Out Of Her Big, Round Ass]
Photo Credit: Backrid USA / MEGA
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Sarah Hyland’s Beautiful Hard Braless Pokies
Now that Modern Family has gotten their “shocking death of a major character” thing out of the way, maybe they could get the focus back on Sarah Hyland. Don’t get me wrong, it’s great when they focus on Sofia Vergara or Ariel Winter or Julie Bowen, but there’s something about Sarah Hyland that just makes me pay extra attention.
Her character has gotten short shrift over the years, but I’m definitely happy that Sarah has had some success outside of Modern Family. The New York City native is one of the sexiest actresses around and she deserves to be in more things and also deserves to be in more of the things she’s already in.
I think Sarah Hyland could certainly get behind this policy as well, don’t expect her to be a hard sell on this. I think she’s going to jump at the chance to be in more things the same way we jump at the chance to check out these hot pictures of Sarah sporting a perfect pair of pokies.
If they can figure out a way to give us more Sarah Hyland and more Sarah Hyland pokies at the same time, I feel like we might be looking at a winning formula.
[Sarah Hyland’s Hottest Bikini Shots Right Over Here]
Photo Credit: Backgrid USA
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Leo DiCaprio’s GF Camila Morrone Puts On A Ridiculously Sexy Cleavage Show For Jordache
Camila Morrone needs to be careful kneeling when she is wearing spurs. If those little bits of metal are capable of getting monstrous horses to do what a little human wants them to do then they are certainly capable of tearing up an otherwise impeccable ass. I doubt those jeans she is wearing are durable enough protect them from that.
I am beginning to think that all of these ranch photos are staged. I do not want to come off as too much of a conspiracy theorist, but it is rare to see a woman of her quality getting down and dirty like this. All women grew up enamored with horses of course, likely due to their association with princesses, but few are willing to shovel manure so the passion usually dies when they are young.
All that are typically left in later years are those that are hefty enough to put in the work that is necessary. I have a lot of words that can accurately describe Camila, but hefty is not one of them. I’ll check back in twenty years to see if she grew into the role.
Photo Credit: Instagram / MEGA
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Farrah Abraham’s Incredible Curves In Bikini Fitness Photo Shoot
Farrah Abraham is showing herself to be a true daredevil by the way she not only sits at the bow of a boat, but is also willing to fearlessly pull out her phone for a selfie. I have no stats to back this up, but I am fairly certain that the bow is the most dangerous area of a boat. It used to be down with the coal shovelers, but that job hasn’t existed for a couple years at least (I don’t know, I’m not much of a seaman). Riding in the front of a boat is basically like hood surfing on your drunk friend’s car while he goes driving through a cornfield, so it obviously has all the dangers of that activity as well.
I bet the future treasure hunters are going to be searching the sea bottom for lost phones. Eventually there will be an invention that can undo the damage of water to electronics (I read about it in a comic) and by then all of those phones will be considered vintage items. Thanks to the irresponsible there is a fortune down there just waiting to be drudged up.
[See Her Picking A Wedgie Out Her Big Round Ass Right Here]
Photo Credit: MEGA / Backgrid USA
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Nude Bikini Bubbles: Bella Hadid, Alessandra Ambrosio, And This Week’s Sexiest Bikini Girls Bubbled For Max Nude Effect
Hey hey, whattaya say we do another exciting round of everyone’s favorite new weekly segment: Nude Bikini Bubbles. If you’re just joining us for the first time, we take our handy bubble grid and overlay on a picture of a sexy woman in a bikini, and the placement of the bubbles helps to make her look naked. Stop asking so many questions, let’s get to it already!
First up this week we’ve got busty beauty Amanda Lee, whose bent over cleavage is the stuff (wet) dreams are made of! Instagram superstar YesJulz couldn’t pose nude on her favorite social media platform, but she’s definitely allowed to look nude, which is awesome!
It’s too bad we forgot to bubble out Alessandra Ambrosio’s stupid Woody Allen hat, but she’s looking mighty fine! Brazil Modell isn’t a country sporting goods store mash-up, but rather a woman who looks hot when she looks nude! Due to the size of Bella Hadid’s bikini top, her bubble’s a little less revealing than I would have liked, but what can you do?
Brielle Biermann is soaking wet and looking great, and plus-size beauty Ayesha Perry-Iqbal’s curves really benefits from this treatment, leaving her lower half to look a lot more revealing than it does in the bikini. What a time to be alive!
Photo Credit: Instagram / MEGA / Backgrid USA / Splash News
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Madison Beer Brings Out Her Puppy In Extra Small Tank Top
You ever notice that some people totally get away with bringing their dogs with them everywhere they go? I’m not talking about people who actually need a dog with them at all time, but people just walking around holding their dog? You ever notice that most of the people who can get away that are super hot like Madison Beer? Yeah, that’s pretty awesome.
Hey, if I could, I would totally take my dogs with me wherever I went, but sadly I’m not Madison Beer hot so I have to leave them at home. It’s not all bad, the dogs keep each other company. Also, Madison Beer is really hot. That kind of makes up for everything. Whenever I’m having a bad day I like to snuggle up on the couch with my dogs and check out Madison Beer being hot with her little dog. I know hotties tend to love little dogs, but I would love someone like Madison Beer to have a big ol’ dumb dog. Just a beast walking around. I would love that. That would make me love Madison Beer more than I already do.
I know most people get upset when there is a double standard, but when that double standard involves Madison Beer in a tight tank top, then I’m totally fine with it. If Madison Beer wants to wear that top and take her dog around with her, be my guest.
[The Sexiest Stuff From Madison Beer Right Here]
Photo Credit: Backgrid USA
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Alexis Ren All Smiles In Sexy Tight Sporta Bra
Alexis Ren’s jawline makes me suspect she is the product of an unholy union between Duke Nukem and one of the many bimbos that he came across during his many exploits. If this really is the case, I pray more illegitimate daughters come out of the woodwork so that we can make better use of platforms such as Instagram. Genes like his don’t come around every day, so he had better make use of them while they are here.
Alexis is the prime example of my type of woman: Attractive. I know most people tend to focus on one trait of a woman and pursue it like a zealot, but I am more open minded. I only ask that the woman have a rocking body with a perfect face. And if her face is not perfect, I hope it is at least near enough that the resolution on my laptop is not clear enough to tell a difference.
That is one area where the advancement of technology is really coming back to bite us in the ass. Sometimes I do not want to see every detail of a woman’s body. Let me maintain my unrealistic expectations for the human body.
[Alexis Ren’s Hottest Bikini Pics Over Here]
Photo Credit: Backgrid USA / MEGA
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Weekend Bikini Roundup: Hailey Baldwin, Nicole Scherzinger, and Blanca Blanco In Skintastic Swimsuits
If it’s Monday and we’re still alive, that can mean only one thing: It’s time for the Weekend Bikini Roundup! While the freezing temperatures of fall gripped most of the U.S., there were still plenty of places to see and be seen on the beaches of the world.
Kicking things off is the newly crowned Mrs. Justin Bieber herself, Hailey Baldwin, who was rocking a teeny weeny white bikini while celebrating her first month of marital bliss. It’s a real shame that Ariana and Pete had to split and steal the spotlight away from this headline-worthy bikini.
Former Pussycat Doll Nicole Scherzinger was out on a boat in a blue bikini that nicely showed off her phenomenal figure. Hopefully she and her cohorts didn’t get any sea sickness because that’ll put an end to your sexy time faster than you can say, “Cheese it, it’s the fuzz!”
Finally, Blanca Blanco’s not doing anything to make me not think about Street Fighter in this green bikini of hers. It’s like she’s just dropped a quarter on everyone’s favorite beast of burden, and she’s not going away until she KO’s the competition. Truth be told, I’d rather have Blanca in my corner than Blanka. She seems like more of a lover than a fighter.
Hit play on the video below and enjoy the pics!
Photo Credit: Instagram / MEGA / Backgrid USA
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