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Rachel McCord Wears Bikini Bottoms, Makes Out with Gross Jersey Shore Reject

If you’ve ever been to Venice Beach, you know that some of the world’s strangest and sexiest sights can be seen with a simple glance in any direction. Rachel McCord might not be able to get away with wearing bikini bottoms and a cut-off top in just any old town, but in Venice Beach, anything goes, even making out with a guy who looks like he was voted out of the Jersey Shore house after the first week.

Do they vote people off that show? I’m not sure and I certainly don’t care, but it’s an interesting thing to ponder because surely this is some guy cut from the same cloth as Snooki and all the rest of those clowns. Rachel McCord can probably do better, but then again, maybe this is what she’s after. Some guy who’s still wearing his hair gel from last night and looks like he smells of cigarettes and Courvoisier.

So try and enjoy Rachel McCord’s sexy outfit, especially those handful of times her top rides up and almost exposes her breasts. Do your best to imagine that the Jersey Shore guy isn’t there, or maybe even imagine that it’s you in the pics with her. Surely more than a handful of you are also rocking this same look.

Photos courtesy of Mega Agency

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Courtney Stodden And Her Ginormous Boobs Pay Tribute To Pamela Anderson

Pamela Anderson famously rocked a gigantic fluffy pink hat at the 1999 MTV Music Video Awards, and now Courtney Stodden is here to pay tribute with a fluffy hat of her own. Courtney has been doing a lot of hanging out at the beach in bikinis lately, and we don’t hate it one bit. She has some very hot monster boobs and that fresh-faced and youthful glow that just lights up a room. But for her most recent outing, Courtney didn’t so much pull a rabbit out of a hat as she pulled the hat out of nowhere and wore it randomly for no one. And yes we stan. In 2018 Kim Kardashian also paid tribute to Pamela’s famous lewk, but in this house, it’s always going to be about Courtney. A legend. Sitting on the beach alone. In a huge hat. That came out of nowhere. This is how you paparazzi people. Enjoy…

Photo Credit: MEGA

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It’s Time To Play F*ck, Marry, Cancel: Original Beverly Hills, 90210 Cast Edition

We are now two episodes deep into BH90210 – the much-talked about Beverly Hills, 90210 reboot – and what better way to celebrate than to check out the sexiest pics of the series’ sexiest stars? Shannen Doherty, Tori Spelling, and Jennie Garth were all the talk of the town in the 90s thanks to their starring roles on the hottest show on television. Did the fact that they showed off their perfect CA beach bods hurt? Prob not. Prob not.

Now they’re all back for the reboot (which is actually about the real-life actors from the original series casting a reboot – it’s meta ya’ll) and it’s time for you to decide which star you’d f*ck, which you’d marry, and which you’d ki… I mean cancel. This is a family site. Check out the pics and vote in the poll. You little 9021-ho you.

Shannen Doherty

Tori Spelling

Jennie Garth

Images courtesy of Mr. Skin

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Kristin Cavallari Topless Photo Shoot Behind the Scenes

You guys may not know this because, well, it’s just not the kind of information the male mind retains, but Kristin Cavallari has a lifestyle brand called Uncommon James. While that may sound like a rapper, it isn’t, it’s a lifestyle brand. What the fuck is a lifestyle brand, you wonder? It’s one of those things where a celebrity sits around and hocks expensive shit no one needs, like Gwyenth Paltrow’s Goop horseshit.

The only reason I mention this is that she recently did a topless photo shoot to promote her brand because, frankly, what else are you gonna do for publicity these days. There’s some behind the scenes snapshots in the gallery below, and you may be so inclined as to check them out if you’re interested in seeing Kristin Cavallari topless.

Now, I’m being very careful not to say that you see Kristin Cavallari’s tits. You don’t. She’s covering them/has her back to the camera in all of these pictures, so don’t go in expecting a nipple or even a full breast. That’s not part of Kristin Cavallari’s lifestyle brand. Maybe one day it will be. That’s what these celebs should do, sell nude photos at exorbitant prices. That might actually move some units, if you catch my drift.

Photos courtesy of Mega Agency

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Ana Braga Loves Showing Off Her Breasts, As You Can Clearly See

It’s been a while since we’ve seen Ana Braga, and an even longer time since we’ve seen Ana Braga’s breasts. To be honest, though, we could’ve seen them yesterday and I would still think it’s been too long since we’ve seen Ana Braga’s breasts, but it’s definitely been too long this time around. Thankfully Ana Braga has decided that it’s been long enough as well and paraded her breasts around the beach with only the flimsy protection offered by a mesh top.

There’s no denying that we all love that Ana Braga loves showing off her breasts and I’ll bet she loves that we love it. Why wouldn’t she? She’s got a spectacular rack and loves showing it off, why wouldn’t she be proud that it brings the rest of us so much joy? If simply displaying one of my body parts brought people an inordinate amount of joy, I’d pride myself in getting that body part out there as often as I could.

That’s where the true beauty of Ana Braga lies. Not in her amazing breasts, but rather in her love of showing off her amazing breasts. The joy she gets from bringing the rest of us joy is a quality more women could use in this day and age. Go get ’em Ana, we’ll be right here loving every minute of it!

Photos courtesy of Mega Agency

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Adriana Lima Might Just Prove String Theory in a Sexy String Bikini

I haven’t got the foggiest idea about string theory, but if it has anything at all to do with string bikinis, I think that Adriana Lima may have just cracked the code and proved its existence. Things like string theory are beyond the comprehension of mere mortals like myself, which is why I associate it with Adriana Lima, because her beauty is at another level, one seemingly unknowable to peons such as us.

This, of course, isn’t to say that we can’t enjoy the immense beauty of Adriana Lima when it’s on display, such as it is here. It’s merely a statement that such perfection is beyond our grasp. How is it achieved? What are the formulas that went into the creation of one so perfect as Adriana Lima, and what, if anything, does any of this have to do with string theory?

It’ll take an Einstein-esque genius to crack this nut, but I feel like many a nut will be cracked in a completely different way when guys get a load of Adriana Lima looking impeccable in a string bikini. I think the point of all of this is that we should stick to what we know and just marvel at what we don’t know. And Adriana Lima gives us plenty to marvel at.

Photos courtesy of Mega Agency

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Courtney Stodden Looks Fresh-Faced And Youthful In Boob-Forward Bikini

 

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My heart belongs to Daddy @themegaagency

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We love pretty much everything Courtney Stodden does, and we feel comfortable saying that she’s truly one of the defining sex symbols of the decade. No one can fill the living daylights out of a bikini like Stodden, and no one mixes youthful innocence with seasoned sexpottery like her. Why, just take these saucy pics of Stodden the beach. She delivers Marily Monroe realness, updated for modern-day audiences. We get the elbow-length pink gloves and both Monroe and Stodden’s signature platinum blonde locks. But Stodden’s Instagram bikini gives away the fact that she’s posing in the year 2019. And we’re not hating the peeks at her intense cleavage and perfect booty one bit. Needless to say, Court won’t leave your penis short. As the saying goes.

Photo Credit: MEGA

 

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Kimberley Garner is Thong-tastic While Riding a Jet Ski

Although there are precious few days left in the summer of 2019, celebrities are always reminding us that for some, the summer never ends. Kimberley Garner is the latest celeb to bring us a less than subtle reminder as she hit the beach for some quality time on a jet ski while wearing a tantalizing thong!

The sheer number of reminders in these pictures is overwhelming. First of all, she’s reminding us that she’s got an amazing ass by flaunting it in a thong. Secondly, she’s reminding us what a great bikini body she has when she turns around to show off her front. Then there’s the reminder that jet skiing is one of the best things to do in the waning days of summer. And finally, there’s the reminder that summer doesn’t last forever and we really need to get out there and live in these final days of the sexiest season of the year.

I think these are all reminders we can use today as we head over the hump of this week. Summer won’t last forever and we’ve only got a few weeks left before we’re all wishing it was summer again. And there’s no better reminder of that than Kimberley Garner’s amazing ass!

Photos courtesy of Mega Agency

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Miley Cyrus Posts Jaw-Dropping Bikini Pics After Shocking Divorce Announcement

 

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This weekend Twitter was split between mass shootings and Miley Cyrus’ divorce from Liam Hemsworth, and as we cover all the news that’s tit to print here, today we will be delving into the later. Specifically, the thirst trap Insta posts Cyrus posted shortly following the divorce announcement as a way of telling the single fellas out there – I’ve still got it ya’ll.

 

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ROCK THE BOAT ❤ 🇮🇹 ❤🇮🇹

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And boy does she ever. Cyrus is hanging out in Italy – specifically what looks to be Lake Como – and in one Boomerang video she emerges from the water dripping in sex appeal in a little white bikini. We also get a video of Cyrus dancing around in the same bikini, and in yet another post, we see Cyrus’ abs of steel in a saucy Versace bikini. Divorce is hard, but these pics will make you harder. So, anyone want to pick up where Liam left off?

 

 

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So much Versacheeeeee @versace 🖤

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Photo Credit: Miley Cyrus Instagram

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A Life Of Debauchery Can’t Stop Kate Moss’ Hot Yacht Bod In New Bikini Pics

Kate Moss has spent her entire life looking fate dead in the eye and blowing a puff a cigarette smoke in its face. You’d think that decades of smoking, drinking, and sun tanning would take its toll on the forty-five-year-old Moss, but these new pics of Moss in a tiny bikini on a luxurious yacht prove otherwise. The 90s “it” model still has a luscious rack and nice bod, and her face is still worthy of an ad campaign. For Marlboro. Kidding! For the botany fans out there – Does this Moss make your spore-ny baby? Let us know.

Photo Credit: MEGA

 

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Bella Thorne Is Spiraling

 

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Sundays fundays😍😍😍 “she’s shaking it up”

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Bella Thorne is spiraling. In a bikini! The unhinge hottie is so adept at showing off all of her hard work at the gym on Instagram, and for a recent vid, gave us a 360-degree view of the hotness by spinning like an elegant ballerina. two people walk into the room looking confused, and you get the sense that Bella Thorne has accidentally wandered into a stranger’s house. No bother. She’s still looking as tight and sexy as ever, and we hope that she never stops doing what she does best. Finding her center of gravititty.

 

Photo Credit: Instagram

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Danielle Armstrong and Ferne McCann Prove That Lime Does Pay In Smoking Hot Bikinis

Americans have really been sleeping on British reality television stars, but all of that stops today. The land of Boris Johnson has been fine-tuning its reality TV over the past decade, and the powers that be have the wherewithal to only cast smoking hot ladies. Danielle Armstrong and Ferne McCann both star on The Only Way Is Essex, and recently took to Marbella, Spain to catch some much-needed rays. Many of you might be wondering which of these fine specimens of feminity is Danielle and which is Ferne. Nobody knows. That’s just the type of mystic you’ll find with British reality television stars. But honestly both of these women are so memorable and unique, and while I obviously have so much to say about them, I’ll restrain myself and let you get to ogling these super saucy pics. Do I make you horny baby? Brits love that.

Photo Credit: MEGA

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Whoa Whoa Whoa Wait. Wait. Ali Larter Is HOW Old In These Bikini Pics???

 

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Saturday, it’s a Saturday It’s a Saturday, it’s a Saturday Saturday, it’s a Saturday Saturday, it’s a Saturday. #delasoul

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This is a true story. When I glimpsed Ali Larter in these super hot Insta snaps, I assumed that a) she was in her thirties (but looked like she was in her twenties) and b) that she never had kids. 0 for 2 baby. Ali Larter is somehow supposedly forty-three-years-old, and she’s gestated not one but two children – the youngest of which was born in 2015. Larter loves to show off her flat stomach and athletic bod on Instagram, and it’s almost like, IDK, when you have millions of dollars in disposable income, you can afford the trainers, diet, and not to mention time needed to look hot? Or is that crazy talk. Seriously, Ali’s bod is much more derived from her God-given good looks than mula. But either way, who really cares. Just. Damn. Is she gorgeous. We’ve been sleeping on Ali this whole time…

 

 

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Suntans and Succulents- Say Cheeeeeese! #TGIF

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Anybody else in a slump after the holiday weekend? I’m running off the Monday blues. 🏃‍♀️

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Diving into the weekend! Who else is excited it’s Friday? #fbf

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No time like the present to slip into my birthday suit! 😏 Feeling relaxed and filled with gratitude for my loving friends and family. I woke up early this morning and grounded myself and my home. I opened my eyes to the warmest hugs from my sweet kids and incredible husband. I savored my cup of brew with Leon Bridges purring in the background. This year is about staying in the present- even when its uncomfortable, maintaining my commitment to meditation and sweat yoga, finding ways to fill people’s buckets, act from my deepest inner self, and give a voice to people that may not be able to do it themselves. I sound like one big Oprah supersoul podcast- probably because I listen to her religiously! But I am thankful for that part of my life because it balances my killer instinct, Jersey roots, and insatiable desire to live this life to its fullest! Thank you for all my beautiful birthday wishes. I am one lucky gal. Here’s to another journey around the ☀ ❤💫🎉

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Tallia Storm’s Hot Modeling Pics Will Take the World by… Storm

I don’t think it’s a news flash for anyone that Tallia Storm is among the hottest women on the planet, but these new modeling pics are proof positive that she’s got it going on. There’s so much sexiness packed into one photo shoot, not to mention all the different outfits, that Tallia Storm is going to be the name on everyone’s lips—and the face in everyone’s spank bank—for the next few weeks.

I’m not sure what Tallia Storm is selling or advertising with these photos, but I know what I like, and I like Tallia Storm’s style. I particularly like anything where she’s showing off lots of cleavage, with the pics where she’s adopting a pouty face running a close second. Hell, you combine Tallia Storm making a pouty face with plenty of cleavage and you just might have the perfect combination of sexiness.

Tallia Storm may well take the world by storm, but it’s undeniable that she’s got what it takes to make it happen. She’s one of those women that is hot from every angle and this photo shoot offers plenty of angles for you to judge for yourself. We already know what my favorites are… what are yours?

Photos courtesy of Mega Agency

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Thongs for Showing Up in a Bikini, Alina Baikova

Ukrainian beauty Alina Baikova made headlines a few years ago for being attached to Leonardo DiCaprio, but now that she’s 30, she’s likely aged out of a place in the harem of noted Pussy Posse founder DiCaprio. It’s his loss, however, as Alina shows at 30 that she’s every bit as amazing as some of the much younger women with which DiCaprio constantly surrounds himself.

These pics of Alina Baikova and a friend showing off their amazing asses in thongs is among the sexiest things you’ll see this week, which is really saying something since it’s only Tuesday. Alina’s bikini bottoms barely count as clothing as you can see from the front that there’s barely a maxi-pad sized strip of fabric covering her zorch. This is how you do a beach day when you’ve got a bikini body as amazing as Alina does.

So take your yacht vacations with younger women, Leo, we all know what you’re missing out on by not tapping women for your harem that are over the age of 29. Frankly, one likely wouldn’t even need a harem if they had Alina Baikova by their side. The views are spectacular from both the front and the back, but especially from behind.

Photos courtesy of Mega Agency

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Some Of Our Best Candid Looks Ever At Sisters Bella And Gigi Hadid In Tiny Bikinis

The difference between candid photos and Instagram/editorial photos is that there’s nowhere to hide in candid pics. Especially in direct sunlight. Do you know how shitty you look in direct sunlight? Very. Trust me. You’re a monster. Only the breast and tightest among us can rock swimwear under any lighting conditions without the help of Photoshop, and two of those such humans are sisters Bella And Gigi Hadid.

The shining stars of the Hadid Dy-nasty are living it up in Mykonos and the paps just so happened to be on hand to catch all the majesty. In half of the pics, the sisters are celebrity skinny while taking selfies in polka dot two pieces on a private terrace. In another photoset the sisters splash around with some pals in three inches of water, looking flawless despite the unforgiving sun. As a helpful comparison tool – you would look flawfull. Just a complete botched mess on a beach. Enjoy…

Photo Credit: MEGA

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Brooke Shields Just Got MILFy As Hell In A Yummy Lands’ End Bikini

 

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Boat bum 🚤 in my @flagpole

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The fifty-four-year-old Brooke Shields is settling nicely into MILFhood, as seen in a couple of super sexy new Instagram snaps. While she’s dressing the part of someone in her fifties – in what looks like a two-piece your mom ordered from Lands’ End in the 90s – her body is saying “hold up Brooke, we’ve still got years of sexiness left in us.” It would be great if Brooke would ring up Elizabeth Hurley for some MILF fashion tips, but until that convo goes down, I’ll gladly take what I can get…

 

 

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And for you kinksters:

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Should We Be Worried For Elizabeth Hurley? Shocking New Pic Has Fans Worried

 

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Good morning 😘 #elizabethhurleybeach

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In a brand new Instagram pic posted by Elizabeth Hurley (above), she literally looks like she’s twenty years younger than she should be, and experts are worried. Seriously. Is Elizabeth Hurley Benjamin Buttoning at a rapid pace, and if so, how long before she’s too young to post about on here? Seriously guys. Well not seriously. But still. Hurley looks amazing with her smooth sun-kissed skin, luscious boobs, and tight frame – all packaged nicely in a slinky orange bikini of her own design.

It’s truly unfathomable how Elizabeth Hurley can be fifty-four-years-old and still be hotter than she’s ever been. Normally I take the phrase “gets better with age” with a 10′ x 10′ block of salt, because it’s hardly ever true. But today it is. Can we even call Elizabeth Hurley a MILF in this pic? She’s freaking nineteen. Surely by the time this post is published she’ll have Benjamin Buttoned herself to an embryo. Gone too soon. RIP.

 

 

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Early morning #LA sun 😘

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Yes, I should be learning my lines- but I’m in the pool 😉 #runaways #morganlefey @marvelsrunaways #LA

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All white 😘

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Lazeee Sunday 💗

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Photo Credit: Elizabeth Hurley Instagram

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Elle Fanning Was Just Sexier Than Ever While Getting Crazy On A Yacht

 

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THE MOST WILD DAY EVER with a mid day excursion to the ER. Feel better @mrswardy15 ! @justjenda @robinlbaum @hollyewiersma

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Elle Fanning just once again proved that she’s going to fierce competition for her sister Dakota in the hotness department with a bunch of super sexy snaps on a yacht. I’m too poor to know where these were taken, but I actually recognize this rock formation in her post above from other celebrity yacht Instagram pics:

 

 

My gut tells me it’s something like, Mykonos, or – what’s another word they throw around – the Amalfi Coast? Is that a thing? Whatever the case, Elle’s hot little bod fills the crap out of her hot pink bikini. She looks like she’s having a blast with her gal pals and we just wish that we were invited to tag along. In… Europe? Greece? The Caribbean? Tell me your secrets rich people. Me? I’m going to Dollywood in a couple of weekends for vacation. And that’s not a joke : (

 

Photo Credit: Elle Fanning Instagram

H/T: Drunkenstepfather

 

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It’s Time To Play F*ck, Marry, Cancel: Hottest Nickelodeon Stars Edition

You guys really turned it out for last week’s F*ck, Marry, Cancel: Hottest Disney Stars Edition, and the biggest surprise has to be that you desperately want to f*ck Demi Lovato, while you’re pretty split on whether to f*ck or cancel Miley Cyrus. You overwhelmingly want to marry Selena Gomez, which is always a good choice. Just hold on tight to your kidneys.

Anyway, this week we’re checking out the hottest Nickelodeon starlets. Amanda Bynes (of The Amanda Show fame) is crazy… hot, Victoria Justice (of Zoey 101 and Victorious fame) loves showing off her super tight bod in bikinis, and Ariana Grande (of Sam & Cat fame, as well as just, fame fame) is, well, Ariana fother mucking Grande. Check out some of their sassy pics and decide once and for all when it comes to these Nickelodeon stars – F*ck, Marry, Cancel.

 

 

Amanda Bynes

(Yes she’s legally 18 in this first pic)

 

Victoria Justice

 

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Ariana Grande

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Daphne Joy’s Beach Body Can Barely be Contained by This Teeny Bikini

Daphne Joy really couldn’t have a more appropriate surname because she brings a lot of joy to a lot of people when she hits the beach in teeny bikinis like this black number she’s sporting in these pictures. There’s less collective fabric in the top and bottom of this bikini than one might find in the average t-shirt, making it one of the sexier bikinis we’ve seen so far this summer.

It also doesn’t hurt that Daphne Joy has an amazing body with enough curves to make most men weak in the knees. There’s nothing more officious in this world than men criticizing a woman’s body when she’s got incredible assets like Daphne, so the haters would do well to shut their mouths and move on to the next article. I’m sure there’s borderline anorexic women for you to get your rocks off to elsewhere.

The rest of us will be here dreaming about a day at the beach with Daphne Joy. Hot days then lead to hotter nights, enjoyed in the company of Daphne Joy out of this bikini. In fact, I think the only thing in the world right now better than Daphne Joy in this bikini would be Daphne Joy out of this bikini, if you catch my drift.

Photos courtesy of Mega Agency

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Claudia Romani and Lucia Luciano Battle for Bikini Supremacy by the Pool

I’ve lamented my lack of bikini buddies before, but seeing bikini buddies Claudia Romani and Lucia Luciano battling for bikini supremacy by this pool has got me down in the dumps once again. It’s not because Claudia Romani and Lucia Luciano don’t look incredible in their bikinis, but rather because I’ve once again been reminded that I will never be bikini buddies with anyone.

Granted I’m not much of a bikini-wearing kind of guy, but the fact that so many women like Claudia Romani and Lucia Luciano have found someone to hang around with in bikinis. It’s a special bond between women, one which I’m insanely jealous of and will continue to envy until the end of my days.

So long as the world is filled with bikini buddies like Claudia Romani and Lucia Luciano, it feels like it’s going to be an alright place for us to be. However, much like Einstein’s likely apocryphal warning that the disappearance of bees from the planet would be a harbinger of doom, so too do I feel that the disappearance of bikini buddies like Claudia Romani and Lucia Luciano will be an equally devastating sign of things to come.

Photos courtesy of Mega Agency

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How Does Savannah Montano’s Bikini Manage To Cover Her No-No?

 

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Savannah Montano is a saucy celeb YouTuber who recently stepped out in Miami to flaunt her epically tight bod. If we’re being honest, we had never heard of Savannah before seeing these pics, but man are we glad that we’re acquainted. Montana has a sexy tan that accentuates her legs up to here, tight as hell stomach, and hot underboob – exposed thanks to the extreme tightness of her bikini top. Savannah really risked putting on a show when she donned her floss-esque bottoms. There’s, what, a half-inch of fabric tasked with covering her no-no area? One wave, or even just one awkward seating position, could have given up all the goods. Damn.

Anyway, Miami is that place to be if you’ve got it / are on a mission to flaunt it, and we’re just glad that Savannah made the trip. Hopefully one day we’ll see Savannah’s Georgian peach. Or her vagina.

Photo Credit: MEGA

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Sofia Richie Tries on a Sexy Assortment of Frankie’s Bikinis

Fourth of July is a time for barbecues, fireworks, and bikinis, and Sofia Richie has got a corner on the market for the latter of those three. She’s partnered with Frankie’s Bikinis for this sexy photo shoot showing off an assortment of two piece swimwear that’s sure to turn heads as she heads to the beach tomorrow. Presuming that’s what she’s getting up to tomorrow, who knows what Sofia Richie’s Fourth of July plans are?

I would assume that Sofia Richie’s plans for the Fourth will take her to the pool at the very least, which is also a great and underrated place to show off your bikini body. I’m sure it’ll be a private pool and none of us will be invited, but this is like a sneak preview for those of us unlucky enough to be excluded from Sofia Richie’s big Independence Day plans.

If you’re in the market for a new bikini—whether for yourself or your lady friend—might I recommend trying any one of these banging suits that Sofia Richie is modeling. They definitely won’t look as good on me or you as they do on Sofia, but they’re guaranteed to elevate your bikini game… whatever the fuck that means.

Photos courtesy of Mega Agency

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Paparazzi Catch Izabel Goulart Basically Having Sex With Fiancé

 

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Summer 2019 Escape☀🌊 #Mykonos

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If you’re a stunning supermodel and you’re in the presence of your soccer player fiancé as well as some pap cameras, what’s a girl to do? Jump your fiancé’s bone. Obviously. The stunning Izabel Goulart almost got to that point while living it up in luxury in Mykonos. Models get horny too. Anytime. Anyplace. Her fiancé is Kevin Trapp, and together they put on quite a show without a care in the world. Izabel Goulart is tan to perfection and has an impossibly lean bod that rivals that of Emily Ratajkowski. Ya I said it. Now if Izabel would just bone Emily in front of the paps we’d have a damn post. But for now…

Photo Credit: MEGA

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Italian Hottie Bianca Guaccero Hits the Beach in a Teeny Bikini

One of the perks of this job is discovering hot women I had never heard of before, like Italian hottie Bianca Guaccero, who hit the beach in one of the teeniest bikinis you’ll ever see. The leopard print top goes beautifully with the semi-thong bottoms which ride up nicely into her ass, providing us with a great look at her absolutely amazing backside.

It might be hard to believe from looking at these pictures, but Bianca here is in the final throes of her thirties. She’ll turn forty in about a year and a half, which seems borderline impossible considering how good she looks. Like a lot of you guys, I could do without all the tattoos, but they’re not a deal breaker for me in the way they are for some dudes.

One day I’m gonna get myself to Italy for a vacation and hopefully that will coincide with one of Bianca Guaccero’s beach vacations. It certainly seems like she knows how to have fun in the sun, and who wouldn’t want to share the beach with someone as beautiful as Bianca Guaccero. The only problem is going to be constantly positioning myself behind her so I have the perfect view of her booty.

Photos courtesy of Mega Agency

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It’s Time To Play F*ck, Marry, Cancel: Bella, Gigi, Or Yolanda Hadid Edition

 

The results of our last F*ck, Marry, Cancel are in, and for inquiring minds – our readers want to f*ck Kylie Jenner, marry Kendall Jenner, and cancel Kim Kardashian. Only 4% of you wanted to marry Kim Kardashian. You must not be gay rappers.

Anyway today we’re turning our attention to another triumvirate of hotness – supermodel sisters Bella and Gigi Hadid and their supermodel-turned-Real-Housewife mother Yolanda. Keep in mind when evaluating these loverly ladies that you can’t contract Lyme disease through f*cking.

Bella and Gigi have saturated the modeling world over the past few years, but which one saturates your manties? Yolanda has two marriages under her belt, so we know she’s good at them. Below you can find some sexy recent shots of Bella and Gigi, and for Yolanda we’re throwing in some oldie goodies as well as some current pics for you MILF aficionados. So, F*ck, Marry, Cancel – Bella, Gigi, or Yolanda? Vote below.

 

 

Bella Hadid

 

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Gigi Hadid

 

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Yolanda Hadid

 

 

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Photo Credit: MEGA

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New Sexy Bikini Video Proves Britney Spears Is In A Hot Zombified Stupor

 

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What a lovely time here !!! 🐠🐠🐠🐠

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Nobody can pull off zombified stupor chic like snarky songstress Britney Spears. Rumors have been swirling for years that her father has been excessive in exercising his legal control over her, and that she’s been basically put in a medically-induced trance so as not to rebel against her handlers. A little crushed Thorazine sprinkled into her morning Velveeta shrimp and grits will do wonders on the ol’ noggin. And we stan.

 

Britney Spears Instagram

 

But ya Spears – or whoever is in control of her social media – continues to post sexy vids accompanied by half-coherent sentiments. And we stan. This latest one (top of page) posted yesterday gives us the instantly iconic line:

Rising in the am of the morning

What human who a) isn’t reading off a cue card drafted by someone with a subpar grasp of the English language and b) hasn’t ingested enough horse tranquilizers to take down Godzilla would say this? It’s freaking weird. The whole video is freaking weird.

But more importantly… look at that stomach. And those big zombie boobs. Britney isn’t the only thing rising in the am of the morning. Your penis. It will also be rising in the am of the morning. As they say. But ya, she’s f*cked.

 

 

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🍨🍨🍨

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☘☘☘

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Claudia Romani and Daisy Jaemaking Have An, Um, Interesting Way Of Doing Yoga

Egotastic superstar Claudia Romani was recently joined by her sexy gal pal Daisy Jaemaking for some healthy beachside yoga, but we have to say, they’re introducing poses that even we don’t know about. And obviously we’re the lifestyle and fitness experts. That’s right. This is written by Julianne Hough.

Anyway as always the gorgeous and busty Claudia was simply trying to go about her business when the paps somehow caught wind of her presence on the beach. The Italian supermodel and reality tv starlet started her workout at the beginner level by posing in recognizable yoga configurations. But that was just child’s play. She and Daisy kicked things up to a yoga ten by flaunting their bethonged booties while leaning seductively against a wall, and then by just rolling around in the sand next to a seaweed heart. Don’t be intimated fellas. It takes years of practice to get this good at yoga. Ladies. Teach us.

Photo Credit: MEGA

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Professional DJ Chantel Jeffries Has A Kim Kardashian Face And A Kendall Jenner Bod

 

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🌴 @revolve @superdown

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Last night a DJ shaved my wife. Right Chantel Jeffries. Paris Hilton isn’t the only hot and talented DJ around anymore. Meet Chantel Jeffries. When she isn’t working tirelessly to spin it right round baby right round like a record baby right round round round, she’s catching some much-needed R&R by the beach in Miami. If you check out her Instagram pics (the same ones her staggering 4.3 million followers ogle on the daily) you’ll see that she has a Kim Kardashian face and a Kendall Jenner bod. Is there anything better? For her Miami beach day Chantel fills the crap out of a slinky white bathing suit. We’re talking Emily Ratajkowski levels of bikini-wearing here. Check out the smoking hot pics below.

 

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🌸super soon! @superdown #chantelxsuperdown

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Photo Credit: MEGA

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