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Sailor Brinkley Tiny Strapless Bikini Candids

Wow. It isn’t very often that we see a model on the other side of the camera. This feels like some weird surrealist art piece. What is going to come next, Joe Namath being thrown around on the beach by a couple of college kids wearing football costumes? I’m not saying that I hope for that to happen to Joe in his old age, but I would be impressed.

It must be almost as surreal of an experience for Sailor Brinkley being on that side of the camera. Even when she has taken her selfies she is still seeing herself in the frame. I wonder if she looks through that camera lens and wonders why she isn’t there?

Something else that is pretty surreal is that her name is Sailor, but she is mostly on the land there. She should think about changing her name to Lander.

These photos have surrealism on top of surrealism, and I’m not only using that word because it was on my word of the day calendar, although that is part of it. But having surrealism on top of surrealism is in itself pretty surreal.

 

 

 

 

Photo Credit: Instagram / MEGA 

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Jennifer Garner Bends Over To Reveal Holes In Her Underwear

“Bends over to reveal holes” is usually a phrase that references something far different. Unfortunately, I allowed my emotions to get the better of me and therefor got my hopes up, only to be disappointed in the end.

This is one of the rare instances where I was letdown by seeing a woman’s underwear. It isn’t that the underwear isn’t nice, because it is. And with the holes in it there is even less of it there, which makes it even better. But once you have it in your mind that you are going to see a different set of holes there is nothing else in the world that can live up to those expectations.

I bet firemen feel the same way when they are called to a scene where they have been told a child is trapped in a hole. On the way there they’re getting all jacked up imagining what it is going to be like, and wondering what kinds of tools they’ll get to use. But when they get there they discover the kid just got his foot stuck in a rabbit hole. Jennifer Garner is my rabbit.

 

 

 

Photo Credit: Backgrid USA 

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Ada Nicodemou Sideboob Freckle In Mismatched Bikini Candids

Ada Nicodemou isn’t easy to say. I’m pretty sure I’ve never said Ada Nicodemou correctly and I do feel bad about that. In order to make myself feel better, I’m going to try and say her name while staring at sideboob freckle. It’s just the cutest damn thing I’ve ever seen.

I wonder if Ada Nicodemou has any matching freckles? Like on a part of her boob we can’t see or maybe one on her rear end. I’m telling you, I just love a girl with freckles. Always have, always will. It doesn’t matter if they have a lot or just one on their sideboob like Ada Nicodemou, if they have freckles, I love them even more. I will say I think Ada Nicodemou’s sideboob freckle might be my favorite freckle of all time. That is unless she has another somewhere that’s cuter. I don’t know if that is possible, but we’ll never know until we see it. If there is another freckle that is.

I bet Ada Nicodemou is used to people getting her name wrong. It’s hard when you got a name like Ada Nicodemou. At least she’s nice enough to show off her cleavage and freckled sideboob even though a lot of us say her name wrong. That’s a really nice gesture, Ada Nicodemou. I hope I said that right.

 

Photo Credit: MEGA 

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Serena Williams Keeps The Catsuit Sexiness Coming With Super Curvy Action Shots

Seeing a sexy body in action is such a dynamic thing, and it’s part of what makes Serena Williams one of the sexiest women on the planet. She showcases her body on the regular at her day job, and she’s not even a model. Nevertheless, she shows off athletic perfection on the court all the time, and we happen to think it’s drop dead sexy.

Watching Serena dominate her opponents on the court with all the grace of a gazelle is a sight to behold, and seeing it may arouse feelings in you. Just don’t let that happen while you’re watching tennis with your nan on a Saturday afternoon. Man, that would be embarrassing.

Come to think of it, though, you just know that your nan is enjoying the sight of Serena’s musculature working the court like a professional killer, and making things happen. It’s a sight we can all enjoy, each in our own way. You and me and even nan.

So think about it and the next time tennis comes on and you smell a tough situation a’brewing, just remind nan that it’s okay to enjoy things the way that you want to enjoy them, and then point out her musculature. Serena’s of course, not nan’s. That wouldn’t be nice.

Photo Credit: Backgrid USA 

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See Jeff Bezos’ New GF Lauren Sanchez In Busty Bikini Candids

I do not want to get too cynical about this so quickly, but a large portion of my brain activity is being taken up by this nagging thought. How long is this relationship going to last after Jeff Bezos goes through with his divorce?

I am not meaning to taint this blossoming love affair. I wish Jeff and Lauren the best, I just don’t know what a woman can see in a man who loses half of his fortune. That doesn’t set the tone for a very secure future, does it?

If he can lose billions of dollars in the blink of an eye due to divorce, what is to say he can’t lose billions more in another divorce? If I was Lauren I think I would start examining other options for myself.

The only lucky one coming out of this scenario is MacKenzie Bezos. Thankfully, she saw the writing on the wall and got out of there while he was still the richest man in the world. I am not normally one to entertain conspiracies, but I think there might have been some insider trading going on there. I think someone tipped off MacKenzie about the impending divorce.

 

 

 

Photo Credit: Backgrid USA 

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Disney Girl Dani Fernandez Smokeshow On Instagram

Dani Fernandez is just begging for it by putting these photos on the internet, but the joke is on her because I am not falling for it. I have been tricked before into giving a women back massages, and I have finally learned my lesson. No matter what they say, never believe that they are going to return the favor after you have given them what they wanted. All of a sudden they’ll get real sleepy and not have the energy for it.

They will use all sorts of tricks to lure you into using your strong meat hooks on their lower backs, but do not give in. Maybe they will start writhing around on a countertop, like Dani is doing. Or maybe they will wear some clothing that will not conceal their back in order to entice you like a window display, like Dani is doing.

I think she would have been better served by going with just one tactic. It isn’t so in-your-face, so it might have snuck by someone. But pulling out all of the stops puts everyone on high alert, like when a hot woman flirts with an ugly guy in a dive bar. There has to be something up with her.

 

 

 

Photo Credit: Twitter / Instagram 

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Pia Miller’s Closeup Bikini Vacation Candids

I have not seen a whole lot of talent come out of Guam, but considering how small Guam is they probably only need to export about one hottie a decade and they will be on par with whatever the mainland is producing. It has been awhile since I brushed up on my Guam facts, but if my memory serves me right, they have between 100 and 1,000,000 people, give or take a few hundred thousand. Comparing that to the rest of the world I think just by them having Pia Mia as their island’s pop star means they are overrepresented per capita.

Not too shabby, Guam.

And to think, if it wasn’t for the internet Pia might have never been discovered. Had she been born a few decades earlier she would have lived her entire life on that island working as a kayak tour guide for vacationers.

I wonder what kind of talent the other islands in the Pacific are hiding? I bet that secluded island off of India has some major hotties. That is why they kill anyone who goes ashore. They want to prevent any of them from leaving.

 

 

Photo Credit: Splash News / MEGA 

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Nude Melania Video Model Melanie Marden Looks Stunning In Curvy Bikini Shots

I don’t want to get too controversial, but I am going to come right out and say it. There needs to be a better selection of hats for men these days.

Women have so many different choices for whatever the occasion is, but if a man doesn’t want to be considered a douchebag then he is stuck with a baseball cap as his hat for all occasions. For the most part they get the job done, but what happens when I am at the beach? Baseball caps offer no protection for the ears and they force the wearer to make the decision to either protect their face or their neck, but never both.

Malenie Marden is able to wear a hat that has a brim wide enough to protect a family of five. If I was to wear a boonie hat like that then I would end up looking like the groundskeeper from Caddie Shack. Not exactly a panty dropping style.

The only other hat with similar capabilities is a cowboy hat, but it isn’t really beach gear. I just wish society’s uptight nature would change so I can wear the sombrero that I have always wanted.

 

 

 

Photo Credit: MEGA / Backgrid USA 

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Mariah Carey’s Undeniably Gorgeous Bikini Pics

What kind of a deviant goes for a night swim in a pool that she has all to herself and doesn’t go for a skinny dip? That is a huge red flag for me, I gotta say. That is the kind of thing that serial killers do because they do not want to draw any attention to themselves. Like, they don’t want to drive over 55 miles per hour on the highway because they do not want to risk getting pulled over with a body in the trunk.

So what I want to know is: What’s Mariah Carey’s secret? What is she trying so hard to keep hidden? Maybe there is a metaphorical body in her metaphorical trunk and a skinny dip would show it to the world.

I, on the other hand, have nothing to hide. I will skinny dip at any time of day, aside from whatever hours children are at the pool. I am confident enough in my agility to be able to outmaneuver any security guards that chase after me. It is a tough job to catch a naked man when he is wet. I’m actually surprised more criminals do not commit the act when they are naked.

 

 

Photo Credit: Instagram / MEGA / Splash News

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Selena Gomez Busty Candids Show Her In Good Health

I am a big fan of the white t-shirt look. Not every occasion calls for getting dolled up in a sequin dress that has such a deep plunge in the neckline that the girl’s navel is visible. I’m a big fan of that look too, it just isn’t necessary in every situation. That’s where the t-shirt comes in.

A girl doesn’t need to spend the extra money on a graphic t-shirt of a metal band. I don’t believe any of them actually listen to Iron Maiden anyway. But by going with the plain t-shirt there won’t be any distraction or obscuration of the heavenly mounds that are propping up the fabric.

A properly fitting t-shirt hugs the chest so nicely, it is like one of those extendable leashes that people walk their dogs with. Unlike those archaic leashes that are a fixed length and make dogs fight against them constantly, the extendable leashes give the dog a little bit of a cushion and a little bit of freedom. T-shirts do the same by having a little bit of give against the bounce of the boobs as they walk.

 

 

 

Photo Credit: Backgrid USA 

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Marcela Thomé Flaunts Her Perfect Bikini Body In Brazil

I’ve seen a bunch of bikini bodies, but none as perfect as Marcela Thomé’s. It’s almost as if her body was crafted specifically for bikinis. Perfect form, perfect fit. She’s fulfilling her life’s purpose in her angelic white two-piece. Just being next to her must be heaven. I feel as if I made a mistake by not buying a beach house. Or at least a house within walking distance of a beach. The closest I’m getting to any sand where I’m from is the local playground. There are some hot moms there, but it’s few and far between. It’s like all the lovely looking women love to be near the sea. And I love to be near lovely looking women. So a relocation to an area with more sand and sunshine makes sense.

Maybe if there aren’t any seaside properties available, buying a boat would be the next best thing. I think most women are into modern day sailors. And if a boat is too expensive, heck, I’ll buy a boogie board. Any excuse to get next to Marcela and the many other hot women frequenting the beach is alright with me.

 

 

Photo Credit: Backgrid USA 

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Lizzie Cundy Spotted In Sheer Swimsuit To Display Her Gorgeous Body

I think I am missing something when it comes to sheer swimsuits. Isn’t the beach the one place where there isn’t judgement in regards to how much is being exposed? It is kind of difficult for a girl to be called slutty while the bully who is saying it has a piece of dental floss up her ass.

I only say this because I feel like the sheer fabric is being wasted here. I think it would be put to much more beneficial use by being added to some club girl’s outfit, or some lingerie. But while you are at the beach why would you not want to let your body breathe? There are so few opportunities in civilized society to do so.

Sometimes I think about investing in a pair of sheer boxers because I think it would allow my boys hanging down south to vent a little better, but I still think it would be an improvement to have no fabric at all. Until the day comes that society is accepting of that lifestyle, I will be stuck making due with whatever fabric is available. Hopefully men will have their own version of bra burning one day.

 

 

 

Photo Credit: Backgrid USA 

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Alessandra Ambrosio Keeps The Sexiness Coming Almost Spilling Out of Black and White Bikini Top

It seems like it was only yesterday—because it was—that Alessandra Ambrosio was out having the time of her life at the beach. Well guess what? She’s at it again. I told you guys that the life of a supermodel was one to envy, and if back to back beach days doesn’t prove that to you, I don’t know what will.

I mean, hell, even if you had to work like five or six days straight, back to back days at the beach is nothing to sneeze at. It’s a great way to unwind, and for Alessandra Ambrosio, it’s a great way for her to remind us how sexy she is when she isn’t cruising the catwalk.

If you think about it, it’s almost like a working holiday, only the work is going to the beach and being sexy. By the time these pictures come out, she’ll have the ability to write this off as a work expense. Can you even imagine how good that must feel? Writing off a day at the beach as a working holiday? What a time to be alive.

No doubt Alessandra will be out at the beach again tomorrow… or she was out again today and we’ll find out about it tomorrow. Stay tuned, it’s bound to be a working vacation at this point.

Photo Credit: Backgrid USA 

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Lady Victoria Hervey’s Skimpy Blue Bikini Candids

I am having flashbacks to high school when everyone went to the beach. Just like it happened back then, I wasn’t invited to this beach party either.

It seems like every hottie spent the holiday at the beach this year. I am not sure why I am so surprised by that. Hotties seem to spend a large portion of their time at the beach, so it makes sense that they wouldn’t want to waste prime beach time in doors with family members. The days around Christmas probably lead to the beach being barren of people.

The rogue beach goer would only need to share it with Asian tourists, and even they might be scared away thinking a tsunami is on the way. I am not normally one to try and capitalize on natural disasters, but if it allows me to wade through waters with a marginally smaller amount of human urine in it then I will.

I also fully support anyone using a fake disaster to take advantage of things that I enjoy. Like, if they want to set my car on fire so that they can loot my apartment while I am distracted, that is fair game.

 

 

 

Photo Credit: MEGA 

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Supermodel Alessandra Ambrosio’s Busty Beach Day Cleavage

I would wager to say that one of the best jobs in the world to have is a supermodel. Sure, you’ve got to keep yourself at more or less the exact same weight for the rest of your career, but there’s no denying that models have the most fun in their off time of pretty much anyone in any profession.

Take Alessandra Ambrosio here for example. She manages to make absolutely everything she does off the catwalk look like the best time one could possibly have. She’s got that radiance and that look about her that says, “I’m constantly having more fun than you.”

I don’t know if that’s more a byproduct of being a model or if the good times have just followed Alessandra Ambrosio her entire life, but I’d like to spend just a handful of minutes in her company to experience just how great a time she’s really having.

So, whether the good times started rolling when she became a model or if this is just the way she’s always rolled, Alessandra Ambrosio is a true good time gal. I mean, just look at her. Don’t you envy absolutely everything about her, but especially how much fun she’s having?

[Go See These Perfect Body Volleyball Candids From Alessandra Ambrosio Over Here]

Photo Credit: Backgrid USA 

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Abi Clarke’s Delicious Booty Curves In Slightly Sheer Dress

I don’t know if this is even possible, but if Abi Clarke could wear sheer all the time and walk backwards everywhere, I’d one happy camper. She’s just got such a fantastic ass that I hate seeing it walking it away. I always want to see Abi Clarke’s ass coming toward me.

She’d probably have to rig up some kind of mirror thing to walk backwards, but I’m sure there is some engineer out there who would be more than willing to make something for Abi Clarke. Or you know what’s even better? Abi Clarke should wear sheer everything; dresses, pants, shirts, bikinis, you name it, and when she’s walking she should just stop every couple of feet and turn around. That way we can get a full picture of what her sheer outfit looks like and get a peek at that great Abi Clarke rump. It would kind of be like Abi Clarke was constantly walking the runway. I think she could pull that off.

I know it’s asking a lot and Abi Clarke is going to do what Abi Clarke wants to do, but if we could see her ass a little more often I think we’d all be a little bit nicer to each other. Abi Clarke’s ass makes us feel like we are walking on sunshine.

 

Photo Credit: Backgrid USA 

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Kristen Stewart Braless Pokies Display In Sexy Cutoff

Kristen Stewart is hard at work filming that Charlie’s Angels reboot co-starring that other guy named Stewart, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t have time to walk around braless showing off her pokies in a cut-off t-shirt. Frankly, I don’t think there’s any activity in the world that can get in the way of Kristen Stewart’s routine of walking around braless in a cut-off t-shirt showing off her perfectly pert pokies.

I feel like she got a bad reputation and became unfairly maligned after sleeping with the doofus who directed that Snow White movie she was in, but that was all a publicity stunt gone wrong. That whole thing blew up in everyone’s face and only served to make people resent K-Stew. That sucks because she was merely a player in that charade, and people need to get over it.

One of the best ways to get over it is to check out Kristen Stewart’s pleasing pair of pokies as she struts about the town looking cool and edgy. That Charlie’s Angels movie is likely going to be a big time bust, but if Kristen Stewart is sporting a pair of pokies, I might just have to go and check it out.

Photo Credit: Backgrid USA 

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Man Wants Butt

So you guys wanna know the lowdown on this one? Apparently singer Jack Gilinsky, the ex-boyfriend of Madison Beer, was out and about showing plenty of PDA with an unnamed woman in a very tiny black bikini on the beach in Miami. Now, one gander at the spectacular ass on this mystery woman will clue you in as to why this gentleman seems so desperate to get his hands on dat ass!

There are fewer things in this world that get a man out of his element quite like a great ass. I mean, just look at what the thought of a great ass did to Al Pacino…

 

I think we all know the feeling when he says, “When I think about a woman’s ass, something comes out of me.” That something is your cocaine rage, Al.

So the next time you see some moron desperately flailing about on the beach near a woman with a great ass, remember that he may be experiencing this same series of emotions. You’ll know because it won’t be long before you’re joining in and the two of you look like a pair of howling cartoon wolves. Something about a woman’s ass, indeed. You said it, Al.

Photo Credit: MEGA 

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Courtney Stodden Ridiculous Busty Curves In World’s Smallest Bikini

Listen. I’ve seen quite a number of impressive feats in my day, but never have I seen anything as impressive as Courtney Stodden slipping into the world’s smallest bikini. I mean, hot dog!, that sure is a sight to see. I’d say more but I’m struggling at the moment. She’s left me speechless. And I’m pretty sure my chin has some bruisin’ from how fast my jaw dropped after eyeing such a spectacular spectacle. Someone get this lady the proper forms to fill out to officially be inducted into the Guinness Book of World Records. I may also need a form as I am clearly the most impressed man on the planet.

I’d like to be side by side in the record book with Courtney. She can wear her cute bikini, and I can wear my astonished facial expression. It’s truly a moment in history that would be considered a crime if it wasn’t penned. The Egyptians carved their accomplishments into the pyramids and the cavemen painted the great things they did on walls. It’s only right that Courtney at least get the cover and have her amazing record breaking outfit printed in more copies than humanly possible to count.

 

Photo Credit: MEGA / Instagram / Splash News 

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Blanca Blanco Bare Bum Poolside In Calabasas

If I had access to loungers that are as luxurious as the ones that Blanca Blanco gets to use, I might never leave the pool. Half the reason I decide to go home after a day at the pool is because the chairs are so uncomfortable that my butt is numb.

Climbing on those rubber strips just to get to a point where I can lie down makes me feel like I am playing a carnival game. If I lose then I put a hand or knee through it onto the ground that is covered with snot and soggy animal crackers. If I win then I get to lie back with my testes dangling through the strips like my uvula. It’s a pretty lame game.

But Blanca’s loungers look like they are more comfortable than my couch at home. I do not know how that fabric does not get sopping wet in the first five minutes of use, but I don’t need to know. It’s wide enough for me to lie perpendicularly on it, that’s good enough for me. She almost looks like a miniature person when sitting on one.

 

 

 

Photo Credit: Backgrid USA 

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Pixie Geldof Perfectly Pert Bikini Buns On A Boat

When I think of the perfect buns, my mind immediately imagines the bread from my local bakery leaving the oven at 6 a.m. But, much to my own dismay, I have overlooked another source of where perfectly crafted buns come from. With my most sincerest apologizes to the unsung master baker in a bikini, Pixie Geldof, I promise to never be blind to her bake shop again. She kept her curves concealed well in jean shorts that would make Ariel Winter jealous. But with better weather wherever she’s at, she’s got the goods on full display.

I haven’t seen better buns since Hot Cross season last Easter. Pixie should be proud of herself. I’m proud for her. Her outfit is making her hotter and more desirable than anything that’s ever come out of an oven. I’d rub butter all over her but I’m pretty sure that it’s against the law in most states. We’d have to travel to France for that kind of fun. I’d love to watch her turn a golden baked brown on the beach in a bikini just so I can worship her on the sand. She’s hot enough to start her own religion and I don’t mind being her first disciple.

 

Photo Credit: MEGA 

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Model Pixie Geldof’s Smokin Hot Paddleboard Bikini Candids

Despite my bias against paddleboards, the one good thing that has come from them is that it has gotten women like Pixie Geldof into bikinis to stand where they can clearly be seen by all.

The terrible thing about a beach is that when a girl is in the water, all of her good bits are obscured. Even when you can make out parts they are so distorted it looks like Picasso was her father. But when she is on the beach, and things are visible, there are usually so many people around that you hardly can get a good view without some beach whale ruining it for you. And I do not have the motivation to go walking around at the beach just to look at boobs when I can see better ones while sitting on my ass and looking at my phone.

The paddleboard, though, makes it so that a girl stands out above everyone. You can even pretend you’re just looking at the waves because they are beautiful, or some shit. And while the girl is out there paddling she is using all sorts of muscles, so her body looks even better than when she is just sunbathing like a dead fish.

 

 

 

Photo Credit: Backgrid USA 

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Maya Jama Changing Into Her Bikini In Front Of The Cameras

From these photos it is hard to determine if Maya Jama is looking over her shoulder because she is only just then discovering there are photographers taking pictures of her ass, or because she wants to make sure they got their money shots. There is no point to changing in public if it cannot get you a little free publicity.

I know if there was anybody that wanted to get shots of my ass when I was changing I wouldn’t try to prevent them from doing so. I would definitely make sure they were getting me from the best angles, though. I would hate for people to think I had a flat ass just because I had some stubborn notion about privacy.

I do not know which side of her family Maya owes her butt genes to, I haven’t delved very far into her family tree, but I am thankful for whichever genetic lottery numbers lined up to get it to her. It doesn’t really matter what she is wearing, be it a thong or a jean skirt, there is not a fabric made by man that could hide it.

 

 

 

Photo Credit: MEGA 

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Racecar Driver Courtney Force Sizzles In Red Hot Bikini Candids

Not so long ago, the term “hot race car driver” just wasn’t a thing. Danica Patrick changed all of that, and now the super hot Courtney Force is keeping it alive in this red hot bikini. I have no idea what Courtney Force’s driving prowess is like, but her bikini game is strong, which is important for my criteria of what makes for a good female race car driver.

I wonder if she’s a Star Wars fan. It might make her last name awkward for her to say all the time. If someone is like, “May the Force be with you,” she’d be all like, “My name is Courtney Force, bitch! The Force is with me, always.” I wouldn’t know what to do if I were in that highly awkward and awful situation.

Thankfully I’ll probably never find myself in close quarters with Courtney Force, and so much the better. I’d just make an ass out of myself, particularly if she was wearing a scorching bikini like this one. Better to just admire her from afar and bite my tongue should I ever see her. It’s gonna be tough not to scream out her name, but I’d do my best to keep it together.

Photo Credit: Backgrid USA / Instagram 

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Madison Beer Beyond Beautiful In Busty Bikini Candids

I am a firm believer in Beer because Beer has never let me down. Beer always looks great, day or night. Rain or shine. I always want more Beer. I hope 3-D printing technology hurries along. Because I’d sure print a bunch of life-size Madisons just to keep plenty of Beer in the house. The woman is curvier than any bottle of Budweiser or Corona I’ve ever seen. In fact, I don’t know any other woman worthy of a never-ending round of applause solely for stepping outside and bestowing everyone with such an astounding view. She’s like a beautiful canvas on two very attractive legs. Or a scenic horizon view with the ability of mobility.

If kids are allowed to be cuckoo for things like Coco Puffs, you can call me mad over Madison. I don’t care. I’m going insane over how amazing she looks like a 5-year-old staring at a big bowl of that chocolate stuff in the morning. How well she looks in a bikini top is enough to turn the most sane man a little loopy. I don’t mind wearing a straight jacket if it means seeing more of her.

Photo Credit: Splash News / Backgrid USA / MEGA 

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Sarah Hyland’s Very Hottest Thong Pics

Sarah Hyland has a corner on the petite brunette market, proving herself much more talented and much more willing to show off her beautiful body than someone like, say, Ariana Grande. If you like your brunettes teeny tiny, there’s no one better than Sarah Hyland to follow on social media.

One of Sarah’s most favorite articles of clothing is a thong bikini and here we have plenty of pics of the Modern Family star’s sexiest looks. It would be difficult to pick a favorite, since there are so many great shots here, but there’s bound to be one or two that rise to the head of the class. I may be mixing my metaphors here, but I think you catch my drift. I hope so, anyway.

I guess it’s a given at this point in time that Sarah’s not worried about tan lines, considering how much time she spends in a bikini, but the thong really offers more possibilities for even coloring across your entire body. It’s a smart move if you’re looking to step up your tan game, though don’t expect anyone to give Sarah Hyland a run for the throne any time soon.

[Sarah Hyland’s Hot Shots Right Over Here]

Photo Credit: Instagram / Getty Images

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Who’s Hotter: BFF Edition With Megan McKenna and Olivia Attwood In Little Sexy Bikinis

The last thing any of us ever want to do is make a decision. Typically we are decided between the better of two evils and we won’t really feel good about either choice in the end. Such is life, I guess, but there are a couple of times when picking is great. When no matter what we choose we’ll come out better for it. Megan McKenna or Olivia Attwood bikini, can you really go wrong?

I’m actually asking, can you really make a bad choice between Megan McKenna or Olivia Attwood in a bikini. They are both blonde-ish, both got some awesome cleavage, and that bikini ass is a real winner. So, I guess picking between Megan McKenna or Olivia Attwood in a bikini is like saying do you want $100 in cash or a $100 in your bank account? Either way you are getting money. I gotta say though, Megan McKenna or Olivia Attwood in bikinis is way better than money. I know I can’t pay my rent with Megan McKenna or Olivia Attwood in a bikinis, but I do feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside and that feeling is priceless.

So go ahead, try to make a bad decision. I dare you to pick between Megan McKenna in a sexy bikini or Olivia Attwood in a sexy bikini. See if you make a choice and then feel bad for decision. I don’t think it’s going to happen.

 

Photo Credit: Splash News

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Gigi Hadid Lays Out Her Perfect Bikini Body In Thongtastic Yacht Candids

It is smart of Gigi to go with the baseball cap as her preferred accessory for battling the sun. I know sunglasses are a bit trendier, but if she really plans on soaking up the rays on that boat then she is going to put herself in danger of getting tanlines on her face. That is the one area that everyone can agree is unacceptable.

Tanlines on the torso from a bikini can be great. It is like they are locating the critical areas for a bombing raid from a B-52 dropping loads. But what no one ever wants is for them to start showing up above the neckline.

Gigi is a model. If people start seeing her with raccoon eyes then they could make the mistake of thinking she’s been doing manual labor! I do not know of a worse rumor for a model’s reputation than that. Jane Fonda did a photo shoot in Vietnam, and even her career recovered, as evidenced by Monster-in-Law.

The only people that really need to be careful with hats are bald people. Their tanline makes them look like they recently had brain surgery. Another terrible rumor for a model.

 

[Gigi And All The Hottest Victoria’s Secret Angels Right Here]

Photo Credit: MEGA 

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Charlie Riina Displays Her Faptastic Curves In Busty Photo Shoot

It appears Charlie Riina is another victim of IBL Syndrome. Involuntary Bambi Leg Syndrome affects an alarming number of models, and I feel like far too few people know about it. Unlike the deer from the beloved movie, IBL does not only affect models when they are standing on a frozen pond, it can hit them anywhere. Although, it usually correlates to the amount of clothing they are wearing at the time. The less clothing, the less likely they are to remain on their feet.

An early theory claimed the cause of IBL was due to sandy beaches being unsteady. The models with large breasts would be so top heavy they would simply fall over. Rather than struggle to get back up, the photographer continued to shoot them where they fell.

Further research has proven this to be a mere coincidence, since they are as likely to be on their knees in a bedroom or on a bearskin rug. Someday we might be given an answer to why so many are plagued by this mildly inconvenient condition, and then we can have models who are able to remain standing unassisted. Until that day, we will continue to make lemonade out of lemons.

 

 

Photo Credit: Splash News 

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Italian Stunner Francesca Brambilla’s Busty Bikini Curves In Beachside Candids

I’ve heard people always say you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover, but we all do that. If we’ve never heard of the author, we totally go by the cover or at least the title. That’s why I’m totally fine with judging, in a good way, someone by their name. And the name Francesca Brambilla has to be Italian for super hottie.

I have no idea if Francesca Brambilla’s parents knew she was going to be a freaking gorgeous model when she grew up, but I’m telling you she’s got the perfect name. If I was blind and you told me that name Francesca Brambilla, in my head I would picture Francesca Brambilla in a bikini like the one she’s got on in these pics. She’s got the perfect name to go with that perfect body. Kind of makes you wonder how all those random things had to come together to make Francesca Brambilla look as sexy as she does. The world works in mysterious ways and sometimes that mystery involves a super sexy Italian model named Francesca Brambilla.

Like, Francesca Brambilla forever has the perfect name. Even if she made it up, if that’s not her real name, I don’t care. To me, she’s Francesca Brambilla from now until the end of time. Francesca Brambilla you are a sexy hottie for the ages, that’s for sure.

 

Photo Credit: MEGA 

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