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Danielle Bregoli Slams Kylie Jenner in Ridiculous New Music Video

Like Harambe before her, Danielle Bregoli is defying all conventional wisdom regarding the expiration date of ephemerally popular social media trends.

Or "memes," as the kids call them.

Danielle Bregoli with Long Fingernails

If you're old enough to rent a car or run for Congress, you may be thinking to yourself, Who the hell is Danielle Bregoli, and do I really need to devote even one of my precious brain cells to absorbing information about another inexplicably popular celebrity without a discernible trace of talent?

Sadly, you don't really have any say in the matter, because even if you don't know Danielle's name, you're almost certainly familiar with her work.

Bregoli rose to fame by taunting a studio audience at the Dr. Phil show and memorably shrieking at them, "Cash me ousside, howbow dah?" which is apparently an invitation to fight in some language that is most definitely not English.

Admittedly, it was sort of hilarious.

But it was also almost a year ago, and the internet usually has the attention span of a chipmunk on methamphetamines, so it's anyone's guess as to why we're still talking about this girl.

Danielle Bregoli in Orange

To her credit, Danielle is capitalizing on her ill-gotten fame and cashing in while she can.

Last week, we learned that Bregoli released a hip hop single, and holy hell, is it just as much of a mess as we'd hoped.

In case you don't follow the music industry closely, the quality of a song doesn't matter anymore, and all consumers care about is who you're dragging in the lyrics.

Danielle, of course, is talking sh-t about every person on the planet in her song, but she singles out one particular rival in the forthcoming music video.

TMZ has obtained a clip of Danielle's debut, and in the preview, Bregoli takes dead aim at famed huge lip-haver Kylie Jenner:

Danielle Bregoli Music Video

Yes, that's someone who looks a lot like Kylie receiving surgical injections in her lips and butt.

Not exactly subtle.

It's also not the cleverest gag, as folks have been making the plastic Kylie comments for years now.

But the important thing is it reminds us that Bregoli is willing to take on anyone.

The audience at a Dr. Phil taping, Kylie Jenner, her own mother ...

No matter who you are, Danielle will find you ... and she will call you a hoe.

Howbow dah?

Kim Kardashian: Terrified of Taylor Swift Diss Tracks!

Just days after purging her social media, Taylor Swift is preparing her big musical comeback.

Taylor Swift’s “Reputation” album already has a release date, and her new single is expected to drop tomorrow (late tonight, really).

Fans may be rejoicing, but reports say that this news has one person quaking in her heels. Kim Kardashian is right to be afraid. …

Last year, Taylor Swift’s omnipresence in all media for about two years had left her vulnerable, because fans are fickle and overexposure makes some weak-minded people grow tired of people they’d otherwise admire.

Calvin Harris and Taylor broke up, followed by Calvin having a mini-tantrum on Twitter in which he ranted against Taylor, as if she’d wanted to destroy him.

It was then, when Taylor was at her lowest point in years, that Kim Kardashian struck, leaking carefully selected snippets of a shadily recorded phone call between Taylor and Kanye that made it appear that Taylor had lied about her knowledge of Kanye’s planned lyrics.

People who sided with Kim and people who just wanted to see Taylor Swift crash and burn immediately started calling Taylor a “snake,” since dishonesty is associated with limbless reptiles in Western culture.

Taylor basically went silent. She used to attend every show, get every interview. Suddenly, she was playing it shy.

She released a single with Zayn Malik last December, but the title, “I Don’t Wanna Live Forever,” was so unrelatable that I sure didn’t listen to it.

For a time, it seemed that Kim Kardashian and Taylor’s other jealous detractors had won.

We have to say that we love that Taylor Swift’s reaction to all of this was basically modeled after one of our childhood Disney role models: Jafar from Aladdin.

You know, the bit where Aladdin calls Jafar a snake and Jafar responds: “A snake am I? Perhaps you’d like to see how snakelike I can be?” And then transforms himself into a giant snake.

Because after hordes of disloyal fans called Taylor Swift a “snake,” mostly in emoji form, Taylor Swift teased her new album with snake videos.

Sometimes the best thing to do with a vicious and unwarranted attack on your character is to turn it right back against your critics.

We don’t know 

So, we know when Taylor Swift’s music is coming out.

Her single drops late tonight, and her album comes out November 10th.

And Kim Kardashian is petrified that Taylor Swift will diss Kanye on that album, HollywoodLife reports.

According to their insider, it’s a major concern:

“One of the few people out there that is not very excited for Taylor Swift’s upcoming music is Kim Kardashian.

Yep.

“She feels that she will be attacked along with Kanye in a future song over their past differences and she doesn’t want to deal with the fallout of a Taylor Swift song and what that does to people.”

We love the “past differences” line. Kim Kardashian orchestrated Taylor’s downfall last year.

And Taylor has every right to sing about the man who called her a “bitch” in his lyrics while talking about how he could have banged her if he’d wished.

She has even more right to sing about the woman who waged a public image war against her and forced her out of the spotlight for over a year.

Kim might be regretting that, right about now.

“She doesn’t want to be the focus of anything Taylor related, she hopes that her and Kanye dodge a bullet and Taylor ends up talking about others instead.”

Yeah. Good luck with that.

Well, maybe Taylor will have some choice words about Calvin Harris, but … that’s not going to fill a whole album.

Taylor sings about all sorts of things and may even include songs about her current boyfriend, Joe Alwyn.

But, let’s be honest: it’s hard to imagine her releasing this album without discussing three particular targets:

-Kim Kardashian, the mastermind behind her temporary fall from grace

-Kanye West, who was central to that situation

-the people who turned on Taylor, who betrayed her — both disloyal fans and squadmates who suddenly didn’t find being Taylor’s friend convenient anymore

And let’s not forget that Kanye’s public image isn’t anything close to what it used to be.

You don’t get to say that you didn’t vote and then follow that up with an announcement that you would have voted for Trump and have anyone respect you ever again.

Kanye’s “antics” stopped being funny a long, long time ago.

It doesn’t help that Kanye got basically steamrolled by Jay-Z’s diss track.

Kim and Kanye will probably be able to weather this storm, because they’re rich.

Taylor weathered her own storm, and now it’s Kim’s turn.

We can’t wait until her single drops, late tonight.

We also can’t wait until Taylor’s album, “Reputation,” drops this November.

It’s time again for Taylor Swift to give this wretched world the queen it deserves.

Twitter Reacts To Chelsea Handler & Tomi Lahren’s Epic Face Off At Politicon!

We knew this was gonna be good!

As you may know, Chelsea Handler went head-to-head with controversial conservative pundit Tomi Lahren today at Politicon!

Naturally, this was quite the showdown of viciously opinionated blondes!

Related: Laverne Cox Goes Off On Donald Trump's Transgender Military Ban

Ch-ch-check out what Twitter had to say about the debate (below)!!

LOLz!!

Just another day in America, right?!

[Image via ABC/Nicky Nelson/WENN.]

Fifth Harmony Family Feud! Dinah Jane’s Aunt Gets Straight NASTY Saying Camila Cabello ‘Knows Whose Dick To Suck’!

The rift between Fifth Harmony and Camila Cabello has turned into a family feud!

Dinah Jane Hansen's aunt Leilani has called out Camila before, but this is by far the most savage thing she's said.

Video: Fifth Harmony Are Shady LIARS!!

In a totally uncalled-for move, she essentially said the Cubano ex-5H member was popular because she was a whore.

See her NSFW tweet (below)!

Whoa.

SUCH A TERRIBLE THING TO SAY! We hope at the very least her niece will apologize on her behalf.

Countdown to Leilani saying she was hacked again...

[Image via ITV/Johnny Louis/WENN.]

Paris Jackson SLAMS Kendall & Kylie Jenner: Show Some Respect!

As you may have heard, Kendall and Kylie Jenner aren't having the greatest week, and they have no one to blame but themselves.

For some reason, the sisters thought it would be a good idea to sell t-shirts emblazoned with trademarked images of artists like Tupac, The Notorious B.I.G., and Ozzy Osbourne.

To make matters worse, KJ and KJ superimposed photos of themselves over the images over the legendary artists.

Kendall + Kylie Collection at Nordstrom Private Luncheon at Chateau Marmont

It was like some sort of bizarre experiment in subliminal advertising:

"If we make people think of us when they're looking at iconic artists," the sisters seemed to be saying, "they'll mistakenly think that we're super talented, too!"

Needless to say, the plan didn't work out.

First, Kendall and Kylie were slammed by Biggie's mom in a social media tirade for the ages.

Shortly thereafter, the Jenners were destroyed by the Osbournes, as both Sharon and Kelly took to Twitter to verbally tear them new ones.

Now, relatives of famous musicians who weren't directly affected by Kendall and Kylie's idiocy are getting in on the fun:

Paris Jackson at 2017 Grammys

Paris Jackson is roughly Kylie's age and two years younger than Kendall, so hopefully her stern words about the importance of respecting one's musical elders will hit home especially hard:

"As a huge fan of zeppelin, the doors, Floyd.. I mean these bands literally helped shape who I am today. I can’t condone this 'fashion,'" Jackson wrote on Twitter.

"Legends like these who completely changed our world today, not just the music world, should be respected and honored. not turned into this."

She added:

"Pink Floyd is not Chanel. Led Zeppelin is not Michael Kors. <etallica is not Givenchy. Don't get it twisted. #bandsnotbrands #RESPECTMUSIC

Kendall Jenner Notorious B.I.G. Shirt

Boom. Hopefully Kendall and Kylie heard the deafening sound of that mic drop.

The sisters issued the following apology on their social media pages yesterday, but it could be a case of too little, too late:

“These designs were not well thought out and we deeply apologize to anyone that has been upset and/or offended, especially to the families of the artists,” reads the statement.

“We are huge fans of their music and it was not our intention to disrespect these cultural icons in any way. The tee shirts have been pulled from retail and all images have been removed. We will use this as an opportunity to learn from theses mistakes, and again we are very sorry.”

Biggie's estate has already rejected the apology, and no one else seems to be in any hurry to accept it.

It'll be interesting to see how many PR crises these girls can endure.

Naomi Campbell: Furious at Rihanna for Dating Hassan Jameel

Rihanna may have bagged herself a billionaire in Spain this week.

But she also walked herself right into a feud with veteran supermodel Naomi Campbell.

Or kissed her way right into this feud, we should say.

Naomi Campbell Snapshot

On Tuesday, photos went viral of Rihanna making out with someone named Hassan Jameel while the two took a private deep in a pool in Spain.

The superstar and Jameel were only spotted swapping spit, but it was an intense session of tonsil hockey.

In baseball terms, Rihanna and her rumored new boyfriend may have only gotten to first base, but it was a sharply hit, line drive single.

Moreover, who knows what went on behind closed doors between Rihanna and Jameel? Even more layers of clothing may have come off.

Not that Campbell wants to hear about any of this.

The long-time model dated Jameel last year; she was spotted at a Stevie Wonder concert with him during the 2016 Barclaycard British Summer Time Festival in Hyde Park.

And it's safe to assume that Rihanna's relationship with her former flame is the reason why Campbell stopped following the artist across all social media platforms.

Rihanna in Cannes

“Naomi has known about Rihanna dating Jameel for a while and she is furious about them being together,” a source tells Hollywood Life, adding:

"On a superficial level, Naomi feels she’s hotter and more successful than Rihanna, so it’s frustrating to see the photos circulating online.”

That's a superficial to be sure. It's also a simple falsehood.

We can understand why Campbell is pissed, however.

Hassan Jameel is a lot more than a handsome face. The guy is ridiculously rich!

The businessman’s family owns Abdul Latif Jameel, an organization that – among many other ventures – owns the right to sell Toyota Motor vehicles in Saudi Arabia and several other Middle Eastern countries.

In other words: he makes money every time someone in these nations buys a Toyota.

Just how lucrative is this business?

Jameel is reportedly worth around $1.5 billion.

Rihanna with Shades

He's also a good person, however, not just a cold-hearted money-maker.

Jameel is the president of the company’s Community Jameel in Saudi Arabia.

This is a a charitable organization that coordinates programs focused on the “social, cultural, educational and economic development of individuals and communities in the Middle East region and beyond," according to the official website.

Asked by Andy Cohen earlier this year about her alleged beef with Rihanna, Campbell shot back:

“We’re fine."

She eventually said she doesn’t have a feud with anyone, “especially with black women, who are in the same thing and doing the same struggle."

Or doing the same man, apparently.

Rihanna Sits at Grammys

An insider has told The Sun that this romance is "the real deal," but Campbell isn't buying it.

She's supposedly not all that upset about Rihanna getting it on with Jameel because she "doubts they will last very long as a couple, given their poor dating histories," Hollywood Life writes.

Only time will tell, but we don't really care what Naomi Campbell has to say.

As long as Chris Brown is sad over this relationship, we're extremely happy.

Katy Perry: Taylor Swift Tried to Destroy Me!

The are plenty of sequels no one cares about this summer:

You've got Tom Cruise picking up where Brendan Fraser left off (sadly, not in Encino Man 2); Johnny Depp trotting out the same sea-faring Keith Richards schtick he's been working since 2003; and of course, More Motherf--king Minions

But not even the stalest of movie franchises can compete with eyeroll-inducing tedium that comes with yet another round of the endless feud between Katy Perry and Taylor Swift.

Katy Perry and a Pig

If you saw her cringe-inducing dabs during her recent SNL performance, you know that Katy has been waging a non-stop war against coolness, but she's taken time out from that tireless campaign to fire more shots at her lanky, blonde rival.

The beef began anew when Katy released "Swish, Swish," a single in which she took some pretty blatant digs at Taylor.

It continued when Katy challenged Taylor to "finish" their feud during an appearance on The Late, Late Show with James Corden

It's still not totally clear what she meant by that comment (fingers crossed for a West Side Story-esque dance-fight), but one thing is abundantly apparent:

Katy has no intention of letting this thing go.

Katy Perry in Manchester

Asked about her comments to Corden in a recent interview with NME, Perry elaborated - but kept it cryptic:

“Well, James Corden makes me and the whole world feel very safe,” Perry said.

“No one has asked me about my side of the story, and there are three sides of every story: one, two, and the truth.”

That may sound like a fairly Zen take on the matter, but Katy says she's no ancient Eastern ascetic:

“I mean, I’m not Buddha — things irritate me,” she told the magazine.

“I wish that I could turn the other cheek every single time, but I’m also not a pushover, you know? Especially when someone tries to assassinate my character with little girls [her fans]. That’s so messed up!”

Taylor Swift Belts Out a Hit

Yeah, she kinda upped the ante with the character assassination comment.

Perhaps a bit melodramatic, since this is a woman who was often by Hillary Clinton's side on the campaign trail, and has therefore seen the consequences of true character assassination firsthand.

Speaking of which, we're surprised Katy never reminds her fans of those rumors that Taylor voted for Trump.

You want to make sure your predominantly under-30 audience stays on your side, we can't think of a better method that pointing out that your rival might be in league with the Orange Menace.

Piers Morgan Backtracks His Criticism Of Ariana Grande By Apologizing During Her ‘One Love Manchester’ Concert!

Someone's backtracking!

It appears as though hell has frozen over as opinionated journalist Piers Morgan has formally apologized to Ariana Grande for his harsh criticism of her following the bombing at her Manchester Arena concert. Well, well!

Related: Twitter Reacts To One Love Manchester!

As you may recall, the Good Morning Britain host called out the pop sensation for fleeing the U.K. after 22 people were killed during her Dangerous Woman tour stop in Manchester back in May. Specifically, Mr. Morgan noted that if Queen Elizabeth II could visit with the victims, Ari G could've stayed to comfort those who were affected by this tragedy.

However, while writing his shady message on Twitter, the 52-year-old was unaware that an emotionally distraught Miz Grande was putting aside her own issues to plan the "One Love Manchester" benefit show. Thankfully, Piers was able to realize that he was in the wrong in this scenario as he apologized online:

Good on you, Piers! It's not easy for one to admit they're wrong.

Nonetheless, fans were certainly baffled to see Morgan apologize as many followers commented on his message (below).

HIGHlarious!

What do YOU think?? Do you buy Piers' apology?

SOUND OFF in the comments (below)!

[Image via Rocky/WENN.]

Demi Lovato Throws All the Shade at Kathy Griffin

Sorry, Kathy Griffin.

But Demi Lovato is not sorry.

Nor is she having any part of your lame press conference.

Kathy Griffin Press Conference Pic

On Friday afternoon, Griffin sat alongside her attorney and whined about the way Donald Trump and his family have treated her over the past few days.

Both the President, his kids and his wife have had some choice words for the comedian after she posed for a photo shoot during which she held a bloody, decapitated head of the Commander-in-Chief.

Both Donald and Melania Trump called out Griffin for traumatizing their 11-year old son with this pictorial, while those from both sides of the aisle have also slammed Griffin.

In her press conference yesterday, Griffin accused Trump and his family members of “bullying” her and “trying to ruin my life forever, telling reporters:

"I don't think I will have a career after this. I think he ... I'm going to be honest, he broke me. He broke me, and then I was like, 'No, this isn't right.'"

Kathy Griffin With Bloody Trump Head

Griffin may be right about the whole career-ending thing.

She has lost one sponsorship deal and been fired by CNN.

But nearly everyone thinks she deserves it, considering the inappropriate, offensive, ridiculous nature of her actions here.

(Everyone except Jim Carrey, that is, who has stood up for Griffin.)

"There's a bunch of old white guys trying to silence me, and I'm just hear to say that's wrong," Griffin said on Friday, adding:

"You don't have to like me, but you shouldn't silence a comic."

This is a strange line of defense, in our opinion.

FIRST, you need to be funny in order to be a comedian, don't you? So Griffin doesn't really fit the description.

SECOND, why would comedians be free to say and do whatever they want?

THIRD, no one is silencing Griffin. She may utter anything she likes and pose for any photos she wants. But, like anyone else, she also prepare for consequences as a result.

Demi Lovato: Cute Pic!

And that's where Lovato comes in.

Someone who has often spoken out against bullying, the singer clearly is angry that Griffin is trying to play the victim card.

She effed up. She has apologized and claims to know she effed up... so what the heck is Kathy talking about?!?

"I find it funny when bullies play the victims," Lovato Tweeted shortly after Griffin's press conference, adding:

"Oops. I spilled my tea."

demi to griffin

Point. Game. Match, Demi Lovato, right?

It's hard to find fault with her simple message and logic here.

This isn’t the first time Lovato and Griffin had a spat on social media, either.

In March of 2014, the stars feuded on Twitter after Griffin was asked to call out the “biggest douche celebrity," responding at the time:

kathy

Will Griffin call another press conference next week to yell at Lovato?

Or will she maybe come to the realization that she should shut the heck up? And that she's only digging her grave deeper and deeper?

And that she's just flat out wrong in this case and is only helping the other political side by using her platform in this manner?

Kathy Griffin is an Idiot

Seriously, Katrhy Griffin.

Zip it.

Hillary Clinton Commencement Speech: Was She Trolling Trump?

Well, it's graduation time, which means there's a good chance you'll soon be forced to cut a check to a nephew you haven't seen in three years and/or make an appearance at a booze-free party that's attended mostly by snapchatting teens.

But there are good things about this time of year, too:

Primarily, the fact that you get to see various celebrities do a little cap-and-gown standup routine without actually racking up a lifetime worth of debt yourself.

Today, graduates at Wellesley College got the super-, mega-A-list treatment courtesy of former Secretary of State and noted popular vote winner Hillary Clinton, who gave her third commencement speech at the Massachusetts liberal arts school.

(Her first was as a graduate in 1969.)

Clinton did not announce that she's running for mayor of New York City (looking more and more like a few media outlets got a bad tip on that one), but she did make headlines doing what so many of us have been doing for the past four months:

Taking dead aim at the low-hanging fruit that is the Trump administration.

After reminding those in attendance that they're “graduating at a time when there’s a full-fledged assault on truth and reason” Clinton really went in:

"When people in power invent their own facts and attack those who question them, it can mark the beginning of the end of a free society," she said at one point.

"That is not hyperbole, it is what authoritarian regimes throughout history have done. ... They attempt to control reality."

In case that was too subtle, she also had this to say:

“People [are] denying science, concocting elaborate, hurtful conspiracy theories about child-abuse rings operating out of pizza parlors, drumming up rampant fear about undocumented immigrants, Muslims, minorities, the poor, turning neighbor against neighbor and sowing division at a time when we desperately need unity.

“Some are even denying things we see with our own eyes, like the size of crowds, and then defending themselves by talking about quote-unquote 'alternative facts.'”

Yeah, it was basically the climactic battle rap scene in 8 Mile disguised as a commencement speech.

Watch the whole thing below:

Hillary clinton commencement speech was she trolling trump

Martin Shkreli is Back and Trolling Kendrick Lamar, Lil Wayne

If you've lived your life up to this point gloriously unaware of the human mysterious mattress stain that is Martin Shkreli, then you may not want to read any further.

There was a time when Shkreli (aka Shkreli-Shkrel, aka F--kface) terrorized social media with heteretofore unknown levels of douchery.

However, after years of using his ill-gotten fame to harass female journalists and pick fights with members of the Wu Tang Clan, the pharmaceutical CEO-turned-supervillain was recently forced to retreat back under from the bridge from whence he came.

Martin Shkreli is a Douche

Shkreli was banned from Twitter recently after bullying a Teen Vogue writer, but he's clearly devoted his newfound free time to finding new and interesting ways to make life worse for as many people as possible. 

You see, one of Marty's favorite activities is messing with hip hop fans and famous rappers, the latter group, of course, being commonly known as a meek and mild-mannered lot, unlikely to do anything but cower in the face of opposition from a 34-year-old trust fund baby.

After his beef with Wu Tang, Shkreli butted heads with Lil Wayne, attracting the rapper's attention by somehow pirating his unreleased Carter V album and releasing portions of it online without consent.

Now, Shkreli has apparently decided that he'll continue antagonizing Wayne and try to piss off the hottest rapper on the planet right now for good measure.

Martin Shkreli Photo

Despite stern legal warnings from Team Weezy, Shkreli has released yet another track from Tha Carter V, this one featuring a verse from Kendrick Lamar.

TMZ has the stolen audio, which doesn't sound all that great with Shkreli shrieking over the track like some prep school DJ Khaled who was recently the recipient of a traumatic wedgie.

No word on what sort of legal consequences might be in play, but considering Shkreli is already facing jail time on securities fraud charges, he's really playing with fire.

Of course, getting sued would probably be a best-case scenario for Shkreli.

Kendrick Lamar Pic

If this little stunt goes viral, Kung-Fu Kenny might put lil Marty in a spiral.

If you don't get that reference go listen to Kendrick's Damn in its entirety.

Just don't be like Shkreli and pirate it.

In fact, don't be like Shkreli in any aspect of your life.

Bam! We just hit you with the best advice you'll ever receive. Feel free to call us dad from now on.

Kandi Burruss Blasts Porsha Williams: You Accused Me Of Being a F***ing Rapist!

We think it's fair to say there's going to be a lot to discuss during The Real Housewives of Atlanta's three-part reunion. 

With Season 9 not yet over, Bravo is already promoting what is sure to be a shade-throwing extravaganza like crazy. 

Kandi Burruss Explodes at Porsha Williams

One of the bigger feuds of the season has centered around Kandi and Porsha coming to blows over what Kandi and her husband allegedly did to Porsha. 

If you watch The Real Housewives of Atlanta online, you will already know that Porsha recently claimed Kandi and Todd tried to drug and rape her

Yes, we are not even kidding. Even after all these years, the series still manages to emerge as the most shocking in the franchise. 

At the reunion, which kicks off April 16, Kandi is adamant to prove that Porsha is not as innocent as she would like viewers to believe. 

“You accuse me of being a f***ing rapist!” Kandi screams. “The lies, the lies!”

Porsha Williams is Upset

Porsha then claims that Kandi should take it up with Phaedra because she was served with a cease and desist letter about the whole fiasco. 

This sends Kandi into a fit of hysterics, claiming she was done with the lies. Both women then made their way off the stage as Andy Cohen tried desperately to keep the cameras on them. 

Yes, the drama is never far away from these ladies, but something tells us there's going to be more twists in the tale when the episode airs. 

Surprisingly, there is still one more episode before we get to the reunion. As you are probably well aware by now, Kim Zolciak stages a comeback in Sunday's finale. 

Zolciak is Back

Yes, Kim Zolciak is taking a break from naked selfies to cause some trouble for Kenya Moore, and we could not be more excited. 

Will she say anything to Porsha about the claims she made about Kandi and Todd? We can only hope. 

Elsewhere in the reunion, Bob Whitfield is put on blast by Andy, and it sure looks like Sheree is going to open up about their strained relationship. 

Are you as excited as we are? 

Hit the comments!

Simon Saran SLAMS Amber Portwood & Matt Baier Over Wedding Invite!

For someone who seems to be trying to make a career out of being a douche, Simon Saran simply isn't very good at trash talk.

We suppose if you consider the quantity of shade thrown, he's posting GOAT-level numbers, but his humor is on par with roast night at a community college frat house.

Simon's not sending anyone running to the burn unit, is what we're saying.

Farrah Abraham and Simon Saran: 2016 MTV Movie Awards

These days, the main target of his weak-sauce disses is Amber Portwood and her fiance, Matt Baier.

Now, you really couldn't ask for an easier target than Baier.

The man is a middle-aged Teen Mom obsessive and deadbeat dad who's marrying Amber after unsuccessfully cyber-stalking several of her co-stars.

Saran has taken shots at Baier on several occasions, but they never quite land the way they should.

Farrah Abraham and Simon Saran: Life & Style Weekly's 'Eye Candy' Halloween Bash

His latest attempt at insult comedy was inspired by Amber's recent comments about her upcoming wedding.

To the surprise of many Portwood revealed that she plans to invite all of her Teen Mom co-stars - including Simon and Farrah Abraham - to watch her say "I do."

"Every single Teen Mom [star] will be invited," Amber told People.

"Every single one from Teen Mom 2 and Teen Mom OG.”

It was a surprising announcement, as the last time we saw all four cast members in the same place was when Amber and Farrah fought at last season's Teen Mom: OG reunion show.

Amber Portwood at Reunion

Simon might actually be the thirstiest of the franchise's deeply parched stars, so it was only a matter of time before he sounded off on Amber's comments.

And as expected, his smack talk was as lame as Farrah's claims that her porn debut was actually an amateur sex tape:

“I haven’t been to a circus in a while, it could be fun," Saran told Radar Online.

Bruh.

You bothered to make a statement, but you couldn't come up with anything better than comparing their wedding to a circus?

Farrah Abraham, Simon Saran MTV Movie Awards Photo

If you follow him on Twitter, you know that Simon is constantly trying to pick a fight with Amber and Matt.

Saran's insults are usually uninspired, but this latest is corny even by his standards.

“All of a sudden everyone is buying a house,” he joked when Portwood and Baier were looking at homes this season.

“Everyone got their MTV bonuses and got no jobs! You actually need to have a job and do something with your life to have an office Matt!”

That's a bit more like it, but before we can co-sign that burn, we'd like to know what percentage of Simon's income is Teen Mom-related.

Farrah Abraham and Simon Saran: 2016 MTV Movie Awards

If it's more than half, he surrenders his right to take shots at Matt's joblessness.

Sorry, Simon.

Them's the arbitrary rules we just made up.

Watch Teen Mom online to enjoy the sight of Simon and Farrah pretending they like each other.

Azealia Banks Sides With Remy Ma, Slams Nicki Minaj!

If you're a hip hop fan, by now you've probably heard (or at least heard about) "Shether," Remy Ma's scathing diss track directed at Nicki Minaj.

The Remy vs. Nicki beef goes back several years, but for most of that time, Remy was behind bars, not dropping bars.

Nicki Minaj with Braids

As such, the feud is just now reaching its long-delayed climax, and since Azealia Banks can smell beef a mile away, it was only a matter of time before she got involved herself.

Not surprisingly, Banks is siding with Remy, and she's doing so with the sort of brash social media trash talk that keeps her semi-relevant.

Banks has feuded with Minaj in the past, just as she's feuded with ... well, just about every other working rapper, and now she's reigniting the beef.

Yesterday, she came after Nicki with a social media rant that ranks among her most unhinged (which is really saying something):

Azealia Banks Takes a Peek

“I bet nick will do something pussy and try to call the cops on remy. She’s evil enough to try and set remy up like that,” tweeted Azealia.

“Soon you’ll be knocking on my door trying to buy pieces of your soul back. Lol KEEP IT UP. Give me more more energy Onika, I will suck you dry."

Onika is Nicki's real first name, and we assume all the soul-stealing and energy-sucking references have something to do with Azealia's witchcraft practices.

Yes, Azealia practices witchcraft - sacrificed chickens and all.

Azealia Banks is Crazy

Naturally, Ms. Banks didn't stop there:

"She’s wants me to retaliate but I’m smart enough to never interrupt my enemy while they are making a mistake. Perfect timing," she continued.

"I literally just put her energy in a bottle. I’ll pull the bottle out and sprinkle it on one of the FANTASEA tracks.

She added:

"Thank you Nicki Minaj for the free energy! I will be bottling it up and using it for FANTASEA!!!!!”

Nicki Minaj Cleavage Image

Nicki has yet to respond to Remy's diss track, which means she's vulnerable at the moment, and of course, Banks couldn't resist the opportunity to get some jabs in.

Unfortunately for Azealia, Nicki's probably in the studio right now putting the final touches on an absolute murder weapon of a verse.

And now she has more than one name on her hit list.

The best Banks can hope for now is that Nicki will decide such an insignificant target isn't worth her time.

Azealia Banks to Lana Del Rey: Leave Donald Trump Alone!

At this point, it's hard to be surprised by anything that Azealia Banks says, does, or tweets.

Azealia feuds with just about everyone who crosses her path, especially those who dare to criticize President Donald Trump.

Yes, for reasons that aren't particularly clear (even/especially to her) Azealia is a yuuuuuge Trump supporter.

Azealia Banks at Coachella

In fact, she's so hardcore in her beliefs that Banks went off on Rihanna last week for speaking out against Trump's controversial Muslim ban.

"This is all stupid and wrong. Is she even American??? Can she even vote???" Banks tweeted, and if she'd only squeezed in the words "cuck" and "snowflake," she would've perfectly captured the tone of the typical irate Trump troll.

Azealia is black, a woman, an artist, a young person, a supporter of the LGBTQ community, and (we're just guessing, considering the way her career has kind of bottomed out) a non-millionaire - which makes her a member of half a dozen groups that aren't particularly well-represented aboard the Trump Train.

Of course, she also sacrifices chickens in her apartment as part of her witchcraft ceremonies, so pointing out inconsistencies in Azealia's political ideology is a bit like calling Charles Manson crazy for pouring the milk in his bowl before the cereal.

Anyway, like her bestie Milo Yiannopolos, Banks was suspended from Twitter for doing what she does best (read: trolling the entire planet), but she's back now, and it seems she's already making up for lost time.

This story comes to us courtesy of the Lana Del Rey fan page Planet Del Rey, which claims that Azealia has turned on her former friend Lana for jokingly (we think) threatening to take Trump down with witchcraft.

Lana recently posted a tweet asking fans to find "ingredients" online and use them "at the stroke of midnight."

We're old and easily confused by both hip young Millennials and social media, so we would've thought that Lana was organizing a good old-fashioned Meth cook-off.

Lana Del Rey Tweet

But the singer's fans insist it was some sort of sly reference to bewitching the Donald, and apparently Azealia didn't care for it one bit:

“Leave that motherf-cker alone,” Banks allegedly tweeted.

“You witches are only going to make Trump stronger. *rolls eye* hashtag. White girl magic.” 

She added:

“No shade I will go toe to toe with these white witches because Hillary Clinton losing was a major loss for white feminism.”

She later confirmed that she was referring to Lana in response to a fan's query.

Azealia Banks Tweets

The tweets appear to have been deleted, but as you can see, Planet Del Rey came equipped with receipts.

We'd say this all seems a tad ludicrous, but this is Azealia Banks we're talking about.

The woman once started a feud with the entire country of Australia, seemingly just for her own amusement.

Ya know, now that we think about it, we're starting to understand her love of Trump ...

Holy Shit — Even Fox News Is Calling Out Donald Trump’s Anti-First Amendment Comments

Just… wow.

This exchange on live TV is really something.

On Fox News Sunday, host Chris Wallace went after Reince Priebus, who is Donald Trump‘s Chief of Staff in the White House, regarding Trump’s comments about the news media being the “enemy of the people.”

And you know how it is — when you’re The Donald and you’ve lost Fox News, well, you’re probably losing everybody.

Related: John McCain Calls Trump A Dictator

Watch this particular exchange, where Wallace completely calls out Trump and Priebus over the anti-freedom of the press comments (below):

WOW!

Again, that’s a Fox News host not afraid to call out The Donald’s awful and destructive statements!!!

Video: Trump’s Ridiculous Press Conference Goes To Late Night!

The entire interview is a thing of beauty, too — and Priebus gets his ass handed to him repeatedly by Wallace, who doesn’t back down for a second.

Watch the full thing (below):

Brutal for Priebus. Brutal for Trump. Sad!

But great for America — and we need Fox News to keep calling out The Donald just like the rest of the media has been for the last two years!!!

Related: Trump Made Chris Christie Order Meatloaf While Dining In The White House!

What do U think about these clips, Perezcious readers??

Let us know in the comments (below)!!!

[Image via Fox News.]

Conor McGregor Slams "Fat Ass" Khloe Kardashian

If you're a UFC fan, then you're likely aware that Conor McGregor is quite the trash talker.

Usually, Conor's disses are directed at opponents or potential opponents, such as his current rival, Floyd Mayweather.

In an interview published today by GQ, however, Conor took some unprovoked shots at a few high-profile celebs who have no association to the worlds of boxing or MMA.

Conor McGregor Photo

McGregor delivered the blows when asked how he plans to spend his time in Southern California.

"Maybe I’ll search for Khloe's [Kardashian] big fat ass," McGregor rather randomly replied.

"She’s been floating around Malibu," he added.

"I don’t give a f-ck about them [the Kardashians]. I'd just like to see them in the flesh ... just see what the big fat asses on them look like."

Asked if he "admires" the Kard clan, Conor went in even harder:

Khloe Kardashian butt in pink

"Admire? Never. What’s the saying? Never put the p-ssy on a pedestal, my friend. I just want to see it. I want to see them," the fighter answered.

Not content to just thoroughly creep out Khloe and her family, McGregor also went in on Mayweather, as he has in pretty much every interview he's given in the past year:

"Honestly, my fist is bigger than his head," the 28-year-old told GQ.

"I sleep people. I put people unconscious. I’m stating facts. If I hit a man, his head is gonna go into the bleachers. You understand that?"

He added:

"If I crack that little head of his, it’s gonna go clean off his shoulder and up into the bleachers."

Floyd Mayweather Pic

We understand the Mayweather jabs:

He's trying to bait the man into a lucrative bout and pre-fight trash talk is kind of McGregor's thing.

What we don't get is basically admitting that he's obsessed with the Kardashians and then trash-talking them in the next breath.

Is Conor doing the 4th grade thing here?

Is he gonna hunt Khloe down and hit her with a spitball so she'll notice him?

Khloe Kardashian Butt Selfie

And why single out Khloe in particular?

With how much time McGregor devotes to physical fitness, you'd think he would have an appreciation for how much weight Khloe has lost.

We understand wanting to see dat ass for himself.

Kardashian asses are three of the seven wonders of the modern world, but Conor's doing some seriously uncool shaming and shading here.

The way our culture is going, those asses will be on currency soon, and if Conor doesn't watch it, Dana White's gonna toll him by paying him for the Mayweather fight with a dump truck full of Kardashian butt bucks.

SIX New England Patriots Are Now Refusing To Visit The White House After Their Super Bowl Victory!

This is big!!!

The New England Patriots won the Super Bowl last week, and one of the rewards of doing that is a trip to the White House to visit the President, but now, at least six players will NOT be going to Washington later this year for the ceremony!!

Related: The White House Has NO Plans To Stop Saying 'Fake News'!

We've been reporting how defensive back Devin McCourty and tight end Martellus Bennett aren't going, but now we can confirm that FOUR MORE Patriots players are also boycotting the event: running back LeGarrette Blount, defensive end Chris Long, defensive tackle Alan Branch, and linebacker Dont'a Hightower.

Whoa!!!!

And while McCourty and Bennett specifically called out Donald Trump as the reason they wouldn't be going to the White House for the ceremony, the other players have cited other reasons -- including Hightower, who told ESPN that he's "been there, done that" -- as their reasons for not going.

For Blount, who was more blunt, the reason was pretty cut and dry in an interview:

"I will NOT be going to the White House. I don't feel welcome in that house. I'll leave it at that."

Wow!!!

Related: Patriots' Martellus Bennett Takes A Stand Against Trump!

No public reaction yet from Trump or the White House staff, but with six guys already out and perhaps more coming... this could be a HUGE story in another few weeks!!

What do U think, Perezcious readers?? Let us know your thoughts about the boycott in the comments (below)!!!

In The Aziz Ansari VS. Chris Brown Feud, Michael Rapaport Makes The Strange Choice To Defend Chris Brown

Oh, Michael, noooooo.

On Wednesday, comedian Michael Rapaport took to his podcast to put Aziz Ansari on blast for comparing Chris Brown to Donald Trump during his Saturday Night Live monologue. SRSLY, man?

As you may recall, the Parks And Recreations alum took a dig at C.Breezy while hosting SNL and the Loyal singer did NOT appreciate the shade. In fact, the A-lister clapped back at the Master Of None creator with a racially-insensitive slur. Ugh.

Related: SIX Journalists Arrested Covering Trump's Inauguration Riots!

So, obviously, we were shocked to hear that Mr. Rapaport is siding with Brown in this controversial beef. The Boston Public actor even went as far as to call Ansari a "little politically correct fuck" on his I Am Rapaport: Stereo Podcast. DAYUM!

Unfortunately, Michael didn't stop there as he added:

"Aziz Ansari, who the fuck do you think you are? Why are you dragging him [Chris Brown] through the mud? Who are you to talk about him?'"

Ummm, it's called a joke! Regardless, The Heat star felt the need to REALLY drag the 33-year-old as he continued:

"Obviously, nobody supports beating women. OK. This guy has obviously suffered, you see all the trouble he has and all the trouble that surrounds him. He's definitely dealing with some shit and dealing with his own personal demons. But Aziz Ansari, you are one of these holier-than-thou political correct police. This little fuck. Mr. racial, he's like Mr. provocative… he's like, 'Oh, the brown people this.' He's always talking about the brown people and I get that he tries to be racially provocative. He is racially provocative…

I said this once and I'll say it again. If you watch his show Master of None,… Aziz Ansari, Mr. fucking racially provocative, Mr. fucking button pusher, politically correct judger, has never seen a white girl he hasn't liked. This guy, every single girl on his show that he's with, white girls...You ain't never saw a white girl you didn't like, did you Mr. brown guy?"

Look who's being provocative now? Clearly, the 46-year-old didn't enjoy Aziz's Netflix show. LOLz!

However, despite his animosity towards the Emmy winner, Michael is still a fan of Ansari's as he concluded:

"Fuck you, you little politically correct fuck, you. I'm not saying he's not funny. I'm not saying he's not talented. And I'm not saying his voice isn't warranted, but you are not holier than thou."

On the flip side, Rapaport supports the SNL writer Katie Rich who was suspended for making an insensitive tweet about Barron Trump. After claiming that Hollywood would "embrace" Rich after her social media snafu, the NY native noted:

"Her career will be just fine. She'll be back writing on 'Saturday Night Live' and she will be taking meetings in the offseason… you will hear about her selling a movie to a big studio ASAP. That's the way things work in Hollywood."

Again, why are you so pissed at Aziz? We mean, aside from the mixed messages, he pretty much lost his argument the minute he started defending Brown. Sigh...

[Image via PNP/WENN.]

Boo! Ryan Murphy Says Feud Will NEVER Tackle Taylor Swift VS Katy Perry! Find Out Why!

Ryan Murphy's shows can fall anywhere on the TV spectrum -- giving viewers anything from compelling character studies to over-stuffed hot messes. And it's all ratings gold!

But the American Horror Story mastermind wants viewers to know that his newest FX drama, Feud: Bette and Joan, will be anything but a "quote-unquote camp-fest."

The producer's latest anthology series centers around the legendary feud between silver screen legends Bette Davis and Joan Crawford, played respectively by Susan Sarandon and Jessica Lange.

Related: Ryan Reveals MAJOR AHS Crossovers From Coven & Murder House!

While the upcoming premiere already has viewers excited for more infamous feuds to come in future seasons, Murphy said he has no plans to explore another Hollywood-centric female feud!

Speaking at the show's panel at the 2017 Winter TCA Press Tour, he explained:

"I think if we're gonna do feuds, we can't just do Hollywood stories. I think we could do something from the 16th century. I think the scope of the show can go back in time in history and it doesn't have to be modern. I would never do another Hollywood woman vs. woman story, although people really want the Taylor Swift and Katy Perry. I get a lot of requests, but I'm not going to."

Noooooo!!! We need this Bad Blood to be chronicled -- preferably in an FX mini-series format!

Though we're sure TayTay wouldn't want another feud of hers exposed after last year's Famous incident...

Photo: Taylor Flaunts Fab Gym Style In Several Shades Of Gray

As for Feud: Bette and Joan, Murphy fans might assume the premise will result in the two actresses engaging in catty dialogue, diva wine throwing, and theatrical one-upwomanship -- but the creator insists that there's much more to it than that! He continued:

"I wasn't interested in doing anything campy or quote-unquote camp-fest… For me, what I love about the show, even though it's set in 1962, the themes and issues are so modern. We really wanted to lean into that aspect of the show…We just wanted to take it away from what people would expect and make it a little more emotional."

Since Hollywood's treatment to women of a certain age continues to be such a relevant conversation, seeing this tale through a modern day lens could be just as eye opening as American Crime Story!

Feud: Bette and Joan features an all star supporting cast that includes Catherine Zeta Jones, Kathy Bates, Sarah Paulson, Stanley Tucci, and Kiernan Shipka -- catch the premiere Sunday, March 5 at 10 p.m. on FX!

[Image via W. Wade/WENN.]

Rosie O’Donnell Posts Anti-Donald Trump Threat: LESS THAN 3 WEEKS TO STOP HIM AMERICA!

Wishing harm on President-Elect of the United States Donald J. Trump on Twitter is one of the hottest new trends here in 2016-17.

The latest to get in on the inappropriate action?

His favorite old nemesis, Rosie O'Donnell!

Rosie Tweet

Less than a week after Charlie Sheen pleaded with God to kill Trump, O’Donnell threw out a (slightly) less overt request on her account.

“DONALD TRUMP IS MENTALLY UNSTABLE. LESS THAN 3 WEEKS TO STOP HIM AMERICA,” read her tweet that linked to CNN.

No, the cable news network didn't report on people trying to off Trump; CNN's story was about Trump booting a biographer off a golf course.

Why Rosie chose that of all Trump stories, we cannot say, but trying to apply any logic to Rosie O'Donnell is like trying to explain Trump.

In general. These two deserve each other.

Obviously, some vocal members of the 46 percent of America who elected Trump in a self-proclaimed landslide weren't happy about this:

Trump Fans Response

Rosie's call for America to "STOP HIM" can be perceived as a veiled threat, and one that is sadly no shock given the entertainers' history.

They've been at each other’s throats for nearly a decade, back when Trump was hosting The Apprentice and Rosie was ... still Rosie. 

Looks like he got the last laugh in this beef.

No explanation was given about the remark, but O'Donnell also tweeted a quote from Maria Robinson in her call to anti-Trump action. 

The quasi-ominous quote reads, “Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.”

For good measure, O’Donnell then retweeted a GIF of Russian President Vladimir Putin pulling on strings to control his “puppet,” Trump.

Rosie Photograph

And, she shared a re-tweeted of Trump depicted as a clown, reading, “You cannot put a crown on a clown & expect him to behave like a king.”

Oooh, burn. Bet that one really stings and makes a difference. Straight out of the uber-successful Hillary Clinton 2016 playbook there.

Trump and O’Donnell’s feud was rekindled in August 2015, when Trump brought her up in vile context during a GOP presidential debate.

Amazingly, it wasn't even close to one of the most absurd things he said or did during the campaign, but at the time, it was rather nuts.

Asked by Fox News’ Megyn Kelly about his alleged history of calling women “fat pigs,” “dogs,” “slobs” and “disgusting animals,” Trump said:

“Only Rosie O’Donnell.”

The President-Elect

They remained vocal enemies throughout the 2016 presidential election cycle, and we don't expect anything to change January 20.

Except for a possible visit to Rosie's house by the Secret Service and/or "Second Amendment People" if she keeps up these tweets.

You know how Donnie rolls. While calling for the assassination of politicians is never cool, we know he'll likely respond in kind on Twitter.

9 Celebrity Feuds of 2016: Choose a Side!

The celebrity world is inundated with the rich and famous who just can't seem to play nice with one another. 

We have compiled a list of the biggest feuds to hit the celebrity world in 2016. 

Did Kanye West & Kim Kardashian vs. Taylor Swift come out on top?

Some of the celebrities are repeat offenders!

Scroll down to find out.

1. Kim Kardashian & Kanye West vs. Taylor Swift

Taylor swift kanye west and kim kardashian
This feud went nuclear when Taylor denied that she gave Kanye permission to speak about her in his song. Kim then went on the offensive and released a recording of the call on Snapchat. This then paved the way for several back and forths in the media and prompting users on Twitter to kick off the #TaylorSwiftIsOverParty

2. Blac Chyna vs. Rob Kardashian & His Family

Rob kardashian and blac chyna promo pic
The Kardashians fumed when they learned that Rob was with Chyna. This paved the way for Chyna's mother, Tokyo Toni to get involved. After Chyna apparently left Rob with an empty nursery in December, 2016, it seemed like the drama was over, but then they got back together.

3. Stephanie Seymour vs. Kendall Jenner and Gigi Hadid

Stephanie seymour slash kendall jenner and gigi hadid
All hell broke loose when Seymour branded Jenner and Hadid as the “bitches of the moment." Even Gigi's sister, Bella joined in and revealed her sister had worked her ass off.

4. Chloe Moretz vs. Kim Kardashian

Chloe moretz and kim kardashian hate each other
Chloe took aim at Kim for her nude selfies. “I truly hope you realize how important setting goals are for young women, teaching them we have so much more to offer than … just their bodies.” Obviously, Kardashian had a reply for her. "Let's all welcome @ChloeGMoretz to twitter, since no one knows who she is. your nylon cover is cute boo," she wrote.

5. Demi Lovato vs. Taylor Swift

Demi lovato and taylor swift pic
Demi was less than impressed at the way Taylor's squad looked. "To be honest, and this will probably get me in trouble, I don't see anybody in any sort of squad that has a normal body," Lovato told Glamour. "It's kind of this false image of what people should look like. And what they should be like, and it's not real." Reps close to Taylor revealed she was annoyed about Lovato's jab.

6. Khloe Kardashian vs. Chloe Moretz

Khloe kardashian and chloe moretz
When Kim and Chloe squashed their beef, Khloe thought it was a good idea to create another with Chloe. "Everyone in this industry needs to get their heads out of a hole and look around to realize what's ACTUALLY happening in the REAL world," Khloé posted a shot of a girl who looked a lot like Chloë who was in a compromising position. "Is this the a hole you’re referring to @ChloeGMoretz ???" Khloé wrote.
View Slideshow

Joseline Hernandez to Stevie J: SEE! I’m Clean and Sober!

We have an update on the never-ending, somewhat-hilarious-but-also-very-sad saga that continues to take place between Joseline Hernandez and Stevie J.

As has already been established, Hernandez is pregnant with Stevie's baby.

There had been some (that is, A LOT) of controversy over whether Stevie was the one who fertilized Joseline's egg with his sperm, but a recent DNA test has confirmed that the impending baby is, indeed, his.

But the question of just who will raise this poor child remains.

Joseline Hernandez Poses

Earlier this month, Stevie J said on social media that he would consider "getting back together" with his fiery ex.

But he then filed legal documents that alleged Hernandez is basically a whack job. Like, for real.

Stevie wrote to a judge and outlined how Joseline had recently attacked him and how she made him fear both for his life... and the life of his unborn child.

In response to this supposed incidents, Stevie asked a judge to order psychological evaluation for his baby mama, along with anger management counseling.

As it turns out, Hernandez DID actually attack Stevie J at his home a few weeks ago, reportedly because she thought he was hooking up with another woman.

But Stevie has also claimed that Joseline is a drug addict who continued to snort cocaine while pregnant - and Hernandez has now responded to this accusation with proof that Stevie is lying.

Stevie J on VH1

Just this week, according to TMZ, Hernandez filed her own set of documents with the court, attaching three drug test results that showed she tested negative for various substances, including cocaine, amphetamines and weed.

Moreover, Joseline included a note from her healthcare provider that stated she is enjoying a healthy pregnancy (one she keeps photographic tabs on for public consumption often, as you can see above and below).

So... case closed, right?

Joseline is not taking drugs and her baby is in good health and she and Stevie will reconcile and maybe even raise this child in a happy, calm household?

Not quite.

Joseline Hernandez: So Pregnant!

In her legal papers, Joseline says she voluntarily submitted to the drug tests, adding that Stevie's allegation that she has abused drugs throughout the past few months is a disgusting ploy meant to embarrass her.

She then took a dig at her ex-lover by saying in official papers that Stevie's $5,000 check for her medical costs bounced.

(NOTE: This might explain why Stevie has agreed to star in a reality series titled Leave It to Stevie. Is the dude hard up for cash?)

(SECOND NOTE: You should go watch Leave It to Stevie online. It's hilarious.)

Stevie, meanwhile, is not exactly accepting Joseline's results or claims of sobriety.

He calls total BS on these tests because they were not conducted by a medical processional.

So, with a baby set to be born in just three weeks, things are as terrible as ever between her parents.

We often joke about Stevie and Joseline for obvious reasons.

But this isn't funny. They are about to be parents. 

Step it up, guys. Get over yourselves. There's a young life about to be at stake.

Dane Cook Turban-Shames Nick Cannon on Instagram, Apparently Still Exists

Dane Cook has taken serious issue with Nick Cannon's latest fashion choice.

In related news, Dane Cook is apparently still alive.

Who knew?!?

Nick Cannon in a Pink Turban

But the comedian has chosen to make his presence felt once again in a semi-coherent rant against Cannon that comes across as confusing, misguided, mean and unfunny.

In other words: it's Peak Dane Cook!

On Tuesday night, Cook WENT OFF on Cannon after photos of the America's Got Talent host surfaced online from his attendance at the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show.

In these images, Cannon was wearing a pink turban on his head.

And Cook... simply... could... not... handle it.

Nick Cannon in a Turban

“Last night Nick Cannon wore this sh-t,” Cook began, merely getting warmed up and adding:

“He put this on his head and he looked in a mirror and he walked away from the mirror without saying to himself, ‘Hey self mayyyyyybe I shouldn’t look like Zoltan and wear a f-cking pink turban with one of the infinity stones from Avengers on it.’

He went outside and people didn’t stop him and say ‘Nick Cannon from Americas Best Talents Competition we love you so please remove that from your head please and thank you.'"

Maybe they didn't say this because they know Cannon has a history of wearing turbans.

He does so in order to make a political statment.

But Cook was undeterred. He continued to rant and rave...

"This pic makes me so frustrated that I want to delete it already and I think I will because this makes me want to quit Instagram," he wrote, teasing us with such a promise.

"Don’t get me wrong Nick is a good guy and he and I go way back but I’m gonna have to call Nick out here and say he Cannon’t wear this f-cking thing again.”

Dane Cook at Westworld Premiere

Cook ended his message by trying and failing to make some jokes:

“I just opened my fridge and randomly punched into it in utter disbelief.

"I also just called hammered a nail into my own tire so I could walk into the woods off the side of a rural highway to spit on a birds nest. 

"Ahhhh I’ve been ranting since my Voice of Doom 12 years ago on my website. Follow meeeeeeeee. Hahahaahhaah."

Shortly after Cook’s tirade went viral, Cannon calmly responded on Twitter and Instagram.

"Yo @DaneCook call me so I can explain this Muthaf***in King Business to you!!” the comedian wrote.

He had some fun adding turban emojis and the hashtags, “#MoorishMindset #SikhLife #ReconditioningOurCommunities.”

turban

Indeed, Cannon has donned a variety of turbans in the past, including to this year’s America’s Got Talent finale and the MTV Video Music Awards.

It's unclear why Cook chose to speak out about this fashion statement now.

It's also unclear how Dane Cook still has any fans.

We guess some things will forever remain a mystery.

Dwayne Johnson: Trashing Vin Diesel Made Fast 8 More Popular!

Dwayne Johnson is not a fan of Vin Diesel.

That much was confirmed earlier this year in an explosive rant about his Fast 8 costar

Now, Dwayne has opened up about his rant to the Los Angeles Times and what it meant for the hit movie franchise. 

Dwayne Johnson at Ballers Premiere

"I was very clear with what I said. I've been in the game a long time," Johnson said. 

"Would Universal [Pictures] have preferred that didn't happen? Sure, we talked about it. The irony is after that and as they do their tracking and all their analysis, the interest [in 'Fast 8'] shot through the roof to a whole other level."

Universal Pictures would no doubt be ecstatic if the feud resulted in more ticket sales for the movie. The series is already a huge hit worldwide, so it would be hard to imagine the feud ever putting the brakes on the franchise. 

Dwayne's Instagram post certainly got everyone talking as they tried to figure out whether it was really about Vin and also whether Johnson's account had been hacked. 

Have a look at the full post below:

Dwayne Johnson Rips Fast 8 Male Co-Stars

The most interesting part has got to be the part in which he ripped Vin to shreds. 

“Some conduct themselves as stand up men and true professionals, while others don’t. The ones that don’t are too chicken sh*t to do anything about it anyway. Candy asses. When you watch this movie next April and it seems like I’m not acting in some of these scenes and my blood is legit boiling — you’re right.”

Dwayne's main issue with Vin was that Vin was a producer and apparently made decisions that didn't make the former wrestling champ happy. 

Vin Diesel, The People's Choice

Being a producer no doubt gave Vin more power on set, so it sure sounds like Vin wanted to get under the former wrestler's skin. 

When you have two strong personalities on a set, there's always going to be some conflicting opinions. 

However, we don't really like Vin Diesel's chances if there was ever a fight between him and Dwayne Johnson. 

Vin was probably bawling his eyes out when it was revealed that Johnson was the highest paid actor of 2016. 

What do you think about all of this?

Sound off below!

Presidential Election Results 2016: Who Will Win?!

November 8, 2016. 

A campaign that spanned the better part of two years all came down to Tuesday evening, with the 45th occupant of the Oval Office to be determined.

Will Hillary Clinton eke this one out? Will Donald Trump pull off an upset? Soon enough, we will know who will be president come January.

HRC vs. DJT

We've had months to digest what each candidate brings to the table, their strengths and flaws, in what has become a political bloodbath.

You've had months to profess your not-actually-profound views on Facebook in hopes of influencing people who blocked you weeks ago.

Now it's time to get it done. Go exercise your civic duty. If you're on the west coast and wondering where do I vote, there's still time. 

Go make it happen. Then sit back and watch the results roll in as this insane roller coaster takes its final turn toward the finish line.

Either way, history will be made in a presidential election like no other ... and either way, the deluge of absurd ads will be over at least. 

Trump v. Clinton

Earlier this morning in Chappaqua, N.Y., Hillary Clinton became the first woman to cast a presidential vote for herself as a major party candidate.

She's all but certain to win the Empire State's 29 Electoral Votes against Donald J. Trump, who also voted for himself today in Manhattan.

While N.Y. State is not up for grabs, plenty of other states are, and national polls show a very tight race, with a modest Clinton advantage.

Are the polls right? We're about to find out.

We'll be updating this post with the numbers as they become available. For now, and throughout the day/night, sound off on this historic event!

Tell us in the comments: Who will prevail, and who are you voting for? Is the system rigged? Will she (or he) be an effective president?

And the Winner is?

Donald, Hillary or... Gary? Who has your vote to be the next President of the United States? View Poll »

Azealia Banks Actually Apologizes to Someone!!!!!

Azealia Banks is officially more mature than Donald Trump.

The controversial singer just issued an actual apology to an actual person she had previously offended.

We'll give you a few minutes to let this shocking news sink in...

Azealia Banks in Australia

Back in May, Banks went on as vicious of a rant as she's ever gone on before.

The target of her wrath was former One Direction singer Zayn Malik.

It all started because Malik released his music video for the track “Like I Would.” Banks believed the song too closely resembled her single “Yung Rapunzel.”

And that's all it took for Banks to GO OFF.

In epic fashion, even for Azealia Banks.

"@zaynmalik dude, I make better music than you. Simmer down with that fake white boy rebellion and that wannabe beiber swag," she wrote.

And then she got very racist, adding the folllowing insults:

lol u a bitch n*gga for even responding like that. Keep sucking this yung rapunxel d*ck u hairy curry scented bitch. imma start calling you punjab you dirty bitch.

You a dick rider for real for real. Ride this dick until the wheels fall off Punjab.

You were only apart of 1d to draw brown attention. You are and ALWAYS will be a TOKEN to the UK.

@zaynmalik still doesn’t change the fact that your mother is a dirty refugee who won’t be granted asylum. LOL @ZAYNMALIK IS A F*GGOT.

Yes, Banks wrote all of these things. It was bad.

Zayn Malik at a Gala

Incredibly, however, after accusing Russell Crowe of assault this week, Banks realized she had to take some responsibility for her own actions.

So she wrote Malik an apology.

"Dear Zayn, There are no words that can fully express how sorry I am. Recent events have taught me the importance of taking accountability for ones actions.

"I want and need to say I am sorry, I was wrong," Banks began.

After detailing how her outburst this spring was caused by an unrelated tweet she mistook as a personal attack, she acknowledged her mistake.

She continued as follows:

"As a black woman, in America, I sometimes forget that there are words and comments that hurt other communities. At times, I am so consumed by my own struggle, and the struggle of my race, that I forget to consider the hardships other minorities continue to endure.

"Coming from an ethnicity that is largely discriminated against does not warrant a license to use derogatory, abusive terminology nor does it give me the right to make hurtful remarks."

The artist then said she was to all those who were affected by her words.

"I apologise not only to you, Zayn, but to all those I hurt and offended. I am not cruel, nor am I heartless or vindictive.

"There is a lot of love in my heart and there is good in my soul. What I did was wrong and I am committed to becoming a better person."

Concluded Banks:

"Throughout my transgressions you remained a gentleman and I applaud you for displaying class and maintaining a level head. The world could learn a lot from you and I hope you can find room in your heart to accept my sincerest apologies."

The unexpected letter comes mere days after Banks demanded an apology from Crowe due to their alleged altercation last weekend.

She claims that the Oscar-winning actor "called me a n----r, choked me, threw me out and spat at me."

Kanye West SLAMS Jay Z in Latest Rant!

In the world of hip hop, there are several living gods who mere mortals are well advised not to trifle with.

Kanye West likes to think he's earned a place in the Olympus of Rap alongside his friend and mentor, Jay Z, but many would argue that Yeezy simply lacks the technical skills to join the ranks of the all-time emcees.

When it comes to ego, however, there's not a rapper on the planet who can compete with Kanye.

Perhaps that's why he thought it would be a good idea to throw shade at Hov in one of his signature rants last night during a concert in Seattle last night.

To screams of "f--k Jay!" from the crowd, West went off in a stream-of-consciousness tantrum that touched on everything from his working relationship with Drake to the struggling streaming service recently launched by Jay:

“Y’all ain’t get what y’all was suppose to get with me and Drake because of some Tidal/Apple [Music] bullsh-t,” an irate Kanye told a crowd in Seattle last night.

“This sh-t got me tight, yo! Every time I perform [the Jay Z collaboration ‘N*ggas in Paris’], I think about this sh*t. I think about the politics and the bullsh*t. I think about how hard I go for music, for art, for y’all, the fans. How hard we go.”

Kanye West and Jay-Z Perform at The 2011 Victoria's Secret Fashion Show

The specific beef apparently has something to do with the Drake-Meek Mill feud that shows no signs of going away.

It seems Jay insisted that verses recorded by himself and Kanye be left off of Drake's single "Pop Style" "out of respect for Meek."

Yeezy was clearly upset about the decision, but it seems that's not his only beef with Jay.

West says he's unhappy with the consequences of Jay's decision to compete with Spotify and Apple Music with the streaming service Tidal.

The subscription-based app has been deemed a failure by most industry analysts, and now it seems that the "politics" surrounding Jay's latest high-risk business venture are interfering with West's creative output.

Jay Z and Kanye West Photo

West told the crowd last night that the long-rumored Watch the Throne 2 - a follow-up to his acclaimed collaborative album with Jay - would never be released due to "Tidal/Apple [Music] bullsh-t.”

While it seems like the bad blood between Jay and 'Ye is the result of a professional disagreement, the husband of Kim Kardashian revealed that it's impacted every aspect of their friendship.

“I can’t take this sh-t, bro!" Kanye screams in the clip above.

"Our kids have never even played together.”

Wow. First Beyonce and now Kanye.

Soon Jay won't have a single ally left.

We guess it's true what they say: It's lonely at the top.

Vice Presidential Debate 2016: Who Won, Tim Kaine or Mike Pence?!

Democrat Tim Kaine and Republican Mike Pence went toe-to-toe on the debate stage for the first and only time Tuesday night. 

As the major parties' Vice Presidential candidates sought to make their case for their respective tickets, the stakes could not be higher.

And the Winner is?

Tim Kaine or Mike Pence? Which Vice Presidential candidate won his first and only debate of 2016?   View Poll »

Last Monday, after many months of hype, Donald Trump met Hillary Clinton in the most-watched presidential debate in history.

Trump's dutiful cable TV minions and unscientific, unreliable online polls aside, the consensus was that the Donald imploded.

He came in virtually tied with the Democratic standard bearer, only to derail his White House bid with 90 minutes of word vomit.

The bad news for Mike Pence, the Indiana Governor and #2 man on the Republican ticket? He has to clean up after this disaster.

The good news? Trump is still only 4-5 points down and has bounced back multiple times before after pundits stuck a fork in him.

You can't shake a political juggernaut this YUGE easily, people!

Mike Pence Pic

Compared to the presidential debates, this showdown is bound to be boring. Stiff. Wooden. Mind-numbingly focused on policy.

Good for the American people, albeit not for TV fireworks.

With Pence and U.S. Senator Tim Kaine of Virginia, Trump and Clinton picked V.P. choices you pretty much can't help but like.

Sure, ideological and political differences abound, but darned if you wouldn't like Pence or Kaine as your next door neighbor.

In fact, the takeaway of viewers who sit through this event may be disappointment ... that this wasn't the presidential debate.

Tim Kaine Pic

Pence's goal, heading into the night? Try to mitigate the damage caused by the top of his own ticket with calm and competence.

A longtime conservative favorite, he'll no doubt assuage some concerns among Trump's base by virtue of merely showing up.

Kaine's objective? Be his similarly decent, affable, and qualified self while portraying Clinton as the steady hand America needs.

Oh, and sandbag Pence with Trump quotes every 10 seconds.

Which of the two was able to pull it off? Did they fight to a snooze-fest of a draw, as many observers predicted before the event?

You tell us: Who won the great V.P. debate of 2016?

Hit the comments and vote about to let us know.

Demi Lovato Announces Retirement in Wake of Taylor Swift Controversy

Demi Lovato announced today that she'll be stepping away from the spotlight, seemingly in response to criticism over comments she made about fellow singer Taylor Swift in a recent interview with Cosmo.

Demi Lovato Works the Red Carpet

Lovato has been feuding with Swift for several months now, and while Taylor has refrained from addressing the beef publicly, Lovato has taken every opportunity to make her feelings known.

It all started when Lovato slammed Swift as a "fake feminist" back in February.

In the months that followed, Lovato passed on opportunities to apologize, telling Refinery 29 in May that she simply doesn't "get along with" the 26-year-old pop icon.

Today, Demi doubled-down on her remarks, once again accusing Taylor of "branding" herself a feminist but failing to put her beliefs into practice.

She followed that up with a bizarre attack on the physiques of Taylor's "squad" members.

Demi Lovato Sings on Stage

“I don’t see anybody in any sort of squad that has a normal body," Demi said.

"It’s kind of this false image of what people should look like. And what they should be like, and it’s not real.”

Naturally, Swift devotees were quick to attack on social media, but Demi refused to back down"

"I get asked questions. I answer them. Sue me," the 24-year-old singer tweeted this afternoon.

"Also, don't forget that words can be taken out of context when doing interviews."

She later added:

Demi in Concert

"I don't understand why people care so much about what I say in interviews? Do y'all watch the news? Don't y'all got shit to worry about?"

Yes, the old "How dare you people have an opinion on this public thing I did!" argument.

Usually a sure sign that a celeb is feeling to pressure to issue a retraction.

It seems Demi is sticking to the "sorry, not sorry" script, however, as it appears she choosing to (at least temporarily) step away from music rather than kowtow to Swift's legion of angry fans:

“So excited for 2017. Taking a break from music and the spotlight," Demi tweeted moments ago.

"I am not meant for this business and the media.”

Historically, young musicians have all the resolve of Brett Favre when it comes to sticking to a retirement plan, especially when the decision is made in haste.

Lovato is likely to some flak if she returns to the industry within the next few weeks, but know millions of fans are hoping she won't be gone for long.