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Listening to Christmas Songs Before Thanksgiving Is Literally Making Us Crazy

Every year I’m annoyed by how Christmas seems to begin earlier and earlier, as other, perfectly fine holidays like Thanksgiving and Halloween get big-footed out of the way by retailers’ attempts to squeeze out a bit more of our hard-earned dollars in a bacchanal of capitalism, convincing us our family will hate us if we don’t buy them a bunch of crap they don’t need.

Psychologist Linda Blair told Sky News that the early onset of Christmas music can actually have a detrimental effect on our mental health, especially for workers in retail shops. Especially that Paul McCartney ‘Wonderful Christmastime’ song. Compare that to Lennon’s ‘Happy X-Mas (War is Over)’ and you’ll know why all the Beatles songs are credited Lennon/McCartney and not McCartney/Lennon.

“Music goes right to our emotions immediately and it bypasses rationality,” says the clinical psychologist Linda Blair.

“Christmas music is likely to irritate people if it’s played too loudly and too early.

“It might make us feel that we’re trapped – it’s a reminder that we have to buy presents, cater for people, organise celebrations. Some people will react to that by making impulse purchases, which the retailer likes. Others might just walk out of the shop. It’s a risk.”

She says that shop workers have to “tune out” songs that they’re hearing multiple times every day for weeks on end.

Basically, Christmas is stressful, and pumping music into stores when people are doing back to school shopping is even more stressful.

Sky also talked to Gary Grant, owner of The Entertainer Toy Shop, a chain with 140 locations in the UK, who starts playing Christmas music in October and who also doesn’t sell Harry Potter merchandise and closes his shop on Sundays because he’s one of those kinds of Christians. You know the ones I’m talking about.

“In the middle of October, it starts off as being one in four songs. Now it’s one out of two. In a couple of of weeks time it’ll be all Christmas music.

“Once we get past fireworks night, the focus it totally on Christmas.”

Okay, so, for my non-UK readers, “fireworks night” is Guy Fawkes day, and it happened last Sunday, on November 5th. Now, the British are godless heathens who don’t celebrate proper American holidays like Thanksgiving, but they could at least wait until Remembrance Day, which we here in the US call Veteran’s Day, and is this weekend.

So you’re not the only one whose skin crawls when you hear Michael Bublé doing Christmas songs in October. Or Michael Bublé singing anything at any time, really, but Christmas is really the bread and butter time of year for when your spinster aunt gets all lubed up with Bublé and Chardonnay. Personally, I’m a Rat Pack guy, but Christmas with Weezer is pretty festive, too. Just keep it in December.

13 Kids Who Asked for the Perfect Gift from Santa

Kids from all walks of life want very different things from Santa Claus. Read these letters to see what we mean.

1. A Stress Reliever

13 kids who asked for the perfect gift s from santa claus a stress reliever
We hear this is how Floyd Mayweather got started.

2. Evie Needs Present

13 kids who asked for the perfect gift s from santa claus evie needs present
But she never needs to stop writing down every single thought on her mind at all times.

3. Oh, Brother

13 kids who asked for the perfect gift s from santa claus oh brother
Hey, at least he wants his brother to be brought back.

4. Something Evil

13 kids who asked for the perfect gift s from santa claus something evil
Really, anything evil will do.

5. One Sausage Please!

13 kids who asked for the perfect gift s from santa claus one sausage please
Someone has his priorities straight at least.

6. Money Talks!

13 kids who asked for the perfect gift s from santa claus money talks
You could probably buy your own Elsa bed with that money, kid.
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Students Surprise Teacher with Perfect Xmas Gift

The days of getting one's favorite teacher a red ad shiny apple are apparently long gone.

At least for one group of students in California.

In the following video, we see a classroom in Edgewood High School in West Covina ad a teacher sitting in front of his desk.

The teacher's name is Taylor Kerby and his students have pooled money together to present him with something very special.

As the story goes, when school started a couple months ago, Kerby saw one of his students wearing some red Vans and noted that he wanted a pair too.

They weren't something he would dare buy for himself, however.

A few days prior to the holidays, however, his students thought it would be the ideal time to surprise him with his very own bright red pair of sneakers.

And because cell phones were permitted in the classroom, we got to see Taylor's reaction to this gift.

His EPIC reaction, we should say.

Click PLAY below to see why this video has been shared over 50,000 times on social media. We can't get enough of it.

Students surprise favorite teacher with perfect christmas gift

s-l1600 (1)

heatherhubbert posted a photo:

s-l1600 (1)

Merry Christmas Sale

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Reindeer Boobs Are The Hot New Christmas Trend

Because of course December is the best time of year to dress with one tit out.

As somebody who wears a parka from October to April, I respect these girls’ dedication to tacky Christmas fashion. Women all over the country are apparently cutting a hole in their Christmas attire, poking one boob through, and dressing it up as Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer.

Because nothing gets the people in the Xmas spirit like just one tiddy.

Like this:

And this:

And this:

If you look too fast it kinda looks like their nipple exploded, which is very festive and also terrifying.

Ho ho ho-ly shit.

Rick Grimes The Walking Dead Season 6 Suede Leather Jacket

sandraellis2 posted a photo:

Rick Grimes The Walking Dead Season 6 Suede Leather Jacket

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Kid Receives Wooden PS4 Replica Complete With Its Very Own Cock and Balls Graffiti

ps4-wood

Long before I was born, my parents were aching for a child to traumatize. Their niece seemed to be a viable option. I mean, why else do you allow your siblings the right to procreate if not to produce children for your personal entertainment? One very special holiday season, my mother ‘stole’ every one of my cousin’s presents in the middle of the night, unwrapped the boxes, removed their contents, filled each individual box (the box, of course, displaying the exact gift she had asked for) with the appropriate amount of coal and re-wrap expertly to leave my cousin none the wiser until the box was actually opened.

Sometimes, shitheads buy expensive products and ‘return them’ following the same replacement tactics as my very bored father. Most of the time the store does not check the box for returns. Most of the time the store ‘re-sells’ the ‘product’ to another customer and ruins christmas. Sometimes that ‘product’ is a slab of wood with crudely drawn cock and balls on it. Was it worth $399?

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Taylor Swift Dresses as Elf, Wins Christmas

Who knew that smiling was one of Taylor Swift's favorite things?

Who knew that she considered syrup to be a major food group and that she was scared of yellow taxi cabs?

Taylor Swift the Elf

All these facts and many more appear to be true after Swift dressed up as an elf for Christmas this year.

The superstar singer shared the above photo on her Instagram account, although she didn't include with it a reference to the classic Will Ferrell movie.

Instead, she gave a hilarious shout-out to Drake's recent track, "Hotline Bling."

You used to call me on my Elf phone, Swift wrote as a caption.

Come on, T. Swizzle.

It's not enough that you win every significant music awards out there? You also must win Christmas, too?

The artist spent some time previous to December 25 building a snowman with boyfriend Calvin Harris, while she once again acted as a hero and hung out with a cancer patient prior to that fun act.

In other words: Taylor Swift continues to simply win at everything in 2015.

Christmas. Acts of admiration. Throwback Thursday.

Perhaps Taylor will slow down in 2016 and take a break from being totally and completely awesome.

But does anyone really want to bet against her?

Your Christmas Hangover: All 12 Days Of Perezmas In One!

On The 12th Day Of Perezmas, Pop Culture Gave To Us… 12 Nude Spreads!
[CLICK HERE]

On The 11th Day Of Perezmas, Pop Culture Gave To Us… 11 Brutal Breakups!
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On The 10th Day Of Perezmas, Pop Culture Gave To Us… 10 Terrible Donald Trump Quotes!
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On The 9th Day Of Perezmas, Pop Culture Gave To Us… 9 Kontroversial Kylie Jenner Pics!
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On The 8th Day Of Perezmas, Pop Culture Gave To Us… 8 Uplifting Viral Stories!
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On The 7th Day Of Perezmas, Pop Culture Gave To Us… 7 Drake Dance Moves!
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On The 6th Day Of Perezmas, Pop Culture Gave To Us… 6 Awkward Interviews!
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On The 5th Day Of Perezmas, Pop Culture Gave To Us… 5 Freaky Sex Tales!
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On The 4th Day Of Perezmas, Pop Culture Gave To Us… 4 Fledgling Friendships!
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On The 3rd Day Of Perezmas, Pop Culture Gave To Us… 3 Feisty Feuds!
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On The 2nd Day Of Perezmas, Pop Culture Gave To Us… 2 Naughty Nanny Scandals!
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On The 1st Day Of Perezmas, Pop Culture Gave To Us… 1 Major Comeback For Adele!
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Merry Christmas, everyone!!!

[Image via Kim Kardashian West/Instagram.]

19 Famously Festive Christmas Cards

From the Royal Family to the First Family of Reality Television, it seems like every celebrity out there releases a Christmas card toward the end of every year.

Which have been the funniest? Which have been the most sentimental?

Let's take a look back at some of the most memorable celebrity Christmas cards over the past several years, shall we?

1. The Royals!

William kate george and charlottes 2015 christmas photo
Kensington Palace shared the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge's 2015 Christmas.

2. Jersey Shore

Jersey shore
Somewhere between the gym, tanning and laundry, these former MTV stars found time to pose like THIS for Christmas.

3. Elizabeth Hurley

Elizabeth hurley
Christmas time? Or sexy time?!?

4. Seth Rogen and James Franco

Seth rogen and james franco
Not Safe for Work Alert! (But definitely safe for humor!)

5. Charles and Camilla

Charles and camilla
Dare we say it? This is simply adorable!

6. Hugh Hefner

Hugh hefner
Hugh Hefner posed for this Christmas card alongside then-fiancee Crystal Harris. Shockingly, they are no longer together.
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The Dark Knight Rises Bane Coats on 50% discount

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The Dark Knight Rises Bane Coats on 50% discount

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The Illustrated ‘Home Alone’ Storybook Will Make Your Christmas Even Better

Home Alone is a Christmas classic, and this year, it turns a ripe 25 years old. Every year, millions of people watch Kevin McCallister’s adventures home alone in their homes, and this year, you can experience the story in a whole new way: with a fully illustrated storybook!

The movie, directed by Chris Columbus and written by John Hughes, is receiving a hand-drawn makeover courtesy of Quirk Books. The whole movie is illustrated and highlights some of the best scenes, like when Harry and Marv slip on the ice-encrusted staircase and face-plant right into the snow. Or when Kevin repeatedly puts on aftershave and howls in pain. And who could forget Marv hitting Harry with a crowbar trying to kill the indestructible tarantula?

It’s all here, and more.

The trailer for the book has even drawn a cartoon that brings these illustrations vividly to life. Watch it here: 
Here are some sneak peeks at the pretty art, from some of our favorite scenes in the movie.

Yep, this book is definitely going on my list this year.

The post The Illustrated ‘Home Alone’ Storybook Will Make Your Christmas Even Better appeared first on PopCrunch.

The Internet Responds Hilariously to Starbucks’ #RedCups Debut

Alas, it looks as though the holiday season is upon us. I say that because the true marker of the holiday season has arrived: not Thanksgiving, not Christmas, but Starbucks’ red cups.

The day after Halloween, Starbucks locations all around the country chucked their tired, old white cups in the bin and paved the way for everyone’s seasonal favorite, the red cup. Now, we’re all ready for sledding, holiday shopping, snowstorms, cozy nights, fireplaces, and new latte creations. With the arrival of the red cup, the Internet has collectively gone crazy.

To coincide with the arrival of the beloved red cup, Starbucks has also released a Twitter-exclusive emoji in the shape of the cup, and so here below are the best tweets that encapsulate this great winter tradition, and capture the spirit of the season, the enthusiasm of consumers, and the outrageousness of it all.

Enjoy.

1. This guy is asking the big, existential questions.

If you hold your phone to the mirror and tweet #RedCups 3 times will the emoji turn into real coffee?

— Andrew Cramb (@andrew_ftw) November 2, 2015

2. This elf who knows that true elves put more than coffee in those cups.

And with the arrival of Starbucks #RedCups Santa’s elves wake up from our 10-month hibernation to realize that crap, we’re still drunk.

— Angry Santa Elf (@angrysantaelf) November 2, 2015

3. This woman who thought, perhaps accurately, that the public needed fair warning.

My favorite unofficial holiday #RedCups pic.twitter.com/GVY32M8Qv3

— Jordan Taylor (@7ordan7aylor) November 2, 2015

4. This guy who knows that red cups are the real works of art.

Starbucks coming back out with #RedCups today like https://t.co/qaDbZKcO3K

— Mikey What’s Good? (@Mikey_Sul) November 1, 2015

5. This woman who has her priorities in order: it’s all about the ‘gram.

When your drink is free and red cups are back and your nails aren’t painted so they look like crap. #RedCups pic.twitter.com/Gu1Xt7SWek

— Alex (@alexandrearr) November 2, 2015

6. This woman who has a pessimistic outlook on #RedCups season.

When #RedCups is trending, you know that Basic season is in full swing.

— Grav (@m_grav) November 2, 2015

7. This woman who knows that sometimes, sacrifices must be made for those you love.

It’s #RedCups season and I can hear my wallet crying in the distance.

— Andrea (@andreaungson) November 2, 2015

Long Live The Red Cup.

The post The Internet Responds Hilariously to Starbucks’ #RedCups Debut appeared first on PopCrunch.