In case you missed it, Lindsay Lohan is kind of a hot damn mess right now.
Well, she's always a mess, but right now the situation is more dire than usual.
Last week, Lindsay did this little interview, and while she was talking, she used this bizarre new accent.
It didn't sound like any accent that exists in reality, and she's certainly never used it before.
Disappointingly though it was, her father, Michael Lohan, tried to play it off like it wasn't a big deal -- like a grown ass adult randomly making up an accent and using it in a professional setting is totally normal.
"Lindsay picks up languages like I pick up a coffee!" he joked.
"I will tell you this, she's spoken other languages on the phone with me -- languages I don't understand."
"I'll be on the phone with her and I'll hear her say something in fluent Farsi to a friend she's with."
And just yesterday, Lindsay's mother, Dina Lohan, told Us Weekly all about how Lindsay isn't disturbed or anything tragic like that.
No: she's just special!
"I have raised Lindsay and all my kids to constantly learn different languages and embrace different cultures," she said.
"Since Lindsay was a kid, she was speaking fluent Italian because my mother is Italian and would only speak to her in Italian."
OK, maybe that one's true. That's at least a tiny bit believable.
But then Dina says that "She taught herself how to speak French, Arabic, Greek, Hebrew, and the list goes on."
"Lindsay has a very high IQ and is very intelligent and can pick up on any languages in a minute. She has that gift."
And really, Dina argues, the accent thing is nothing new.
"Remember when Lindsay was just a little kid doing The Parent Trap and she was able to rock that British accent because she was so fascinated with the British culture -- and still is -- and embraced it fully?" she asked.
"With that being said, she has always been this way. Nothing has ever changed."
Really? Not a thing? There are several rehab centers and police departments in California that might disagree.
It's just Lindsay's new accent is so very, very upsetting. It's not a great sign for her mental health, especially considering everything else she's been through recently.
That engagement to the allegedly abusive Egor Tarabosov, for instance?
But Dina insists that Lindsay's is fine, completely fine. Marvelous, really.
"She is overseas now focusing on giving back to kids who have been refugees, who have no place to go, who have no food, who have no clothes to wear or anyone to turn to, and she helps them get everything they need," she explains.
"She sits down and communicates with each kid no matter what background they have come from or what language they speak because that's her way of communicating to them."
"She is a worldly person who has so many talents and so much to offer and that's what makes her so special and beautiful."
If all that's true, then that's great, it really is.
But the accent is still weird and sad as hell.
Back in February, Lindsay Lohan tried to sue Fox News after a commentator stated on the air that Lindsay does coke with her mom.
The case finally went before a judge today, and TMZ is reporting that was immediately thrown out of court.
The reason? Lindsay totally did coke with her mom - probably on several occasions.
The judge - who must frequent celebrity gossip sites - dismissed the case on the simple grounds that "the truth is a defense."
In other words, "Everyone knows Lindsay Lohan is a cokehead, and Dina is certainly no better."
The judge didn't cite any examples, but if he wanted to, he could've reminded Lindsay of the time she called her dad and specifically told him that Dina is on coke.
We don't blame the man for not getting into specifics.
Instances that prove Lindsay Lohan is on drugs and Dina Lohan is the worst kind of enabler are so plentiful that no one would make it home this weekend if the judge started listing them all.
As of right now, Lindsay's cases against Fox News and Sean Hannity have been officially thrown out.
There's no word on the outcome of the Lindsay's suit against the guest on Hannity's show who made the comment, but we're guessing that one's dun-zo, as well.
If not, the defendant should just take a camera to the Chateau Marmont this weekend, where he will 100% see Lindsay consoling herself by burying her face in a pile of blow that would make Tony Montana weep.