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Butter Shortage Threatens France’s Croissant Production, Though Supply Of Berets and Striped Shirts Still Abundant

You may have noticed that butter is expensive. Do you want a lesson in how crazy global economic forces are? One of the reasons butter is expensive in Europe and the US is that demand is surging for Australian-made infant formula in China. A drought in New Zealand also contributed to a smaller supply which pushed prices up nearly 50 cents per pound over last year. Look at me explaining the economic realities of the dairy market like some kind of wonk. I feel like I could lose an election to some dumbass reading a Ronald Reagan bumper sticker any minute now.

Perhaps the hardest hit by this global butter crisis is France, since literally everything is made with an unhealthy amount of butter and/or red wine. If you suggested to a French patisserie chef that he should use margarine or shortening instead of butter, he’d probably punch you in the dick. But as stores in France have refused to raise butter prices, dairy farmers have taken to exporting butter to more favorable markets in surrounding countries where they can get a higher price.

This has led to a glut of buttery Frenchmen and Frenchwomen stockpiling the stuff. Which, I’m just saying, after Last Tango in Paris the last thing I want to see when I walk into a Frenchman’s pantry is 50 pounds of butter.

In Australia, according to the Weekly Times, bakeries are already preparing to use margarine and other butter substitutes to keep prices down.

Essence Patisserie owner Brendan Giardina said he has already tested croissants, sausage rolls, shortbreads and lemon tarts using butter substitutes such as margarine. “By using half butter and half (butter) substitute you get about 70 per cent of the original flavour,” the Rouse Hill businessman told The Sunday Telegraph. “If there is another price rise before Christmas, which there is likely to be, then we will switch to using butter substitutes. Otherwise we would have to increase the price. I would prefer to sell more at the same price rather than put the price up and sell less.”

They also talked to a French-native chef in Australia, so get ready for the dick-punching.

The pain is also hitting restaurateurs like French-born chef Guillaume Brahimi. The Guillaume Paddington owner goes through 100kg of butter a week and said price are going beyond. Mr Brahimi ruled out cooking with margarine, saying he is looking at alternative ways to recoup his losses. “Forget about North Korea, there is a butter shortage in France and beyond,” he said. “We are giving butter away when people arrive. Maybe we need to start charging for it.”

Yeah. Remember when North Korea tortured that American citizen to death for moving a poster or something? That’s nothing, because Bill may have to charge for butter. The dick punch is about to be on the other… foot, I guess? Foot punch? Dick kick? That rhymes, I like it.

Anyway, relief for France and an end to me personally buying Blue Bonnet, a margarine I can only describe as “almost food-grade” that I use because I don’t have time for $4 a pound for butter I’m just going to use to make a $1 box of Kraft Dinner, could soon be over. Pierre Begoc, a French dairy market analyst, told Bloomberg that dairy farms will probably increase production to meet the rising demand, which will bring prices down. And then the French can go back to stuffing their faces with baked goods to forget that Jerry Lewis died, taking all the mirth in France with him, leaving behind a desolate hellscape of butterless mimes smoking cigarettes.

Adrienne Bailon And Israel Houghton Are Engaged! See The Ring — In Front Of An Amazing Eiffel Tower Background — HERE!

Engaged in Paris -- literally NOTHING better!

Adrienne Bailon is now spoken-for after boyfriend Israel Houghton popped the question in the AH-Mazing French city on Friday night, and we couldn't be happier for them!!

Related: Adrienne Bailon Has Insanely Sleek Hair!

The co-host of The Real shared a video late Friday night showing off the new diamond engagement ring and it is the cutest thing -- not just the ring itself, but the background of the lit-up Eiffel Tower, too!

The couple has been vacationing through Europe, and we have to say, Houghton picked the PERFECT place to pop the question. Nothing more romantic!! Relationship goals!!!

Ch-ch-check out the vid Bailon posted to her Instagram account (below)!!!

You. Me. Oui.A video posted by Adrienne Bailon (@adriennebailon) on Aug 12, 2016 at 6:29pm PDT

Awww!!!

Video: Loni Defends Tamar After Her Surprise Firing From The Real!

And it was far from the only post she made about love in, well, the city of love!

Ch-ch-check out this cute little vid from earlier on Friday (below):

French Kiss xo #Paris #EiffelTower #SeineRiver #YachtsDeParis @ihoughton 📷 @nyricanmama (thnx Mami) Checkout my snapchat! RealAdrienneBA video posted by Adrienne Bailon (@adriennebailon) on Aug 12, 2016 at 7:17am PDT

So cute, so sweet!

Getting engaged in Paris... CHECK.

Related: Here Are The Real Reasons Tamar Braxton Got The Boot

If only we could all be so lucky!

Congrats, Adrienne and Israel!!

[Image via FayesVision/WENN.]

20150524_29 Valeria Golino | The Cannes Film Festival 2015 | Cannes, France

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20150524_29 Valeria Golino | The Cannes Film Festival 2015 | Cannes, France

Vegan FAQ! :)

The Web Site the Meat Industry Doesn't Want You to See.

Please watch Earthlings.

20150524_33 Unidentified guest | The Cannes Film Festival 2015 | Cannes, France

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20150524_33 Unidentified guest | The Cannes Film Festival 2015 | Cannes, France

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The Web Site the Meat Industry Doesn't Want You to See.

Please watch Earthlings.

20150523_21 Unidentified guest | The Cannes Film Festival 2015 | Cannes, France

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20150523_21 Unidentified guest | The Cannes Film Festival 2015 | Cannes, France

Vegan FAQ! :)

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20150523_28 Michael Fassbender & Marion Cotillard (& David Thewlis? :) | The Cannes Film Festival 2015 | Cannes, France

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20150523_28 Michael Fassbender & Marion Cotillard (& David Thewlis? :) | The Cannes Film Festival 2015 | Cannes, France

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20150523_26 David Thewlis & Sean Harris | The Cannes Film Festival 2015 | Cannes, France

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20150523_26 David Thewlis & Sean Harris | The Cannes Film Festival 2015 | Cannes, France

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20150518_40 Mélanie Laurent | The Cannes Film Festival 2015 | Cannes, France

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20150518_40 Mélanie Laurent | The Cannes Film Festival 2015 | Cannes, France

Vegan FAQ! 🙂

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20150514_22 Charlize Theron & (probably…) Sean Penn | The Cannes Film Festival 2015 | Cannes, France

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20150514_22 Charlize Theron & (probably...) Sean Penn | The Cannes Film Festival 2015 | Cannes, France

Vegan FAQ! :)

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lsk/d10247

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Mandatory Credit: Photo by Rex Features ( 1013672c )

Kate Moss

Celebs Arriving to the Miu Miu Fashion Show, Paris, France - 07 Oct 2009

Eric Cantona

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Eric Cantona

Eric Cantona @ Festa del Cinema di Roma foto: Mathieu Menard

Why a Loose Plan is the Best Travel Plan

I’m a big fan of loosely making, or making and then breaking, travel plans. It seems to me that the entire point of travel is openness: opening one’s heart to new sights, new foods, new places. And, more deeply, new relationships, new cultures, unforeseen adventures, surprises.

It’s tough to be open to surprises. To be sure, there are plenty of travel options in which we can go to a fairly secluded beach, eat all of our meals there, and interact with others very little. There are travel options that boast a fine schedule and menu, all featured in American English. No doubt, those vacations have merit, too. But, even if we do count them as this meaty, rich thing that is travel, I question if they’re fulfilling in the same way.

This past June, I went to France on a work trip that ended in Nice. I realized that, in Nice, I was merely hours away from the Gorges Du Verdon, an incredible gorge that lives up to its nickname as the “French Grand Canyon.”

I had to go. However, a few French connections and the trusty Trip Advisor all confirmed that the Gorges couldn’t be reached without a rental car. Public buses drive to the closest town, Castellane, but the Gorges is still too far to walk (unless you’re prepared to hike for a day or two) and too mountainous to bike.

For a number of reasons, including stick-shift skills that are poor at best, renting a wasn’t an option for me. Still, it seemed unwise to give up on the Gorges altogether (when was the next time that I was going to be within hours of the site?). I stubbornly plopped myself on a bus to Castellane and said a few prayers for luck.

In Castellane, the woman at the Tourism Office confirmed that, without a rental car, reaching the Gorges wasn’t possible. It became clear that I had three options:
1. Take a shuttle that would drive there the following day (I waited for it the next morning; it never came);
2. Walk 6-7 hours to the Gorges and walk the same distance back (there are no food/bathroom options en route);
3. Don’t go at all.

Headstrong, I resolved to have lunch in Castellane and try to beg a taxi driver (this would require first finding a taxi driver, which is not so easy in a French Medieval town) to drive me there that afternoon.

I was mulling this over on the cobblestone street when Denisa and Arava approached me. They were both my age, and they were traveling together; they also had come to Castellane to see the Gorges. They had a rental car, and they wanted to go white water rafting on the Gorges, but they needed a third person.

Oh, were they in luck. Oh, was I.

In the end, I ended up not just seeing the Gorges, but white water rafting in it and then paddle-boating in one of its lakes. It was a lucky break that Denisa, Arava and I ran into each other, and [...]

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