It’s a trick question. You can’t. No one can. JK. Dublin’s National Wax Museum Plus is receiving widespread criticism for its new statue of the Game of Thrones character Daenerys Targaryen, played by Emilia Clarke. A detail that you wouldn’t pick up on if you were to go by the statue itself. While I wouldn’t kick wax Daenerys Targaryen out of bed, I think we can all agree its creator isn’t a fan of the show and in fact might have accidentally modeled his masterpiece on Google Image search results for “Random woman with blonde hair who doesn’t look like Emilia Clarke.”
In order to celebrate whatever the hell this is, I’ve thrown some of Emilia Clarke’s hottest nude shots yet from Game of Thrones in the gallery. I mixed in her doppelganger to give you a little scare every few pics. Because I furking can.
Photo Credit: MEGA, HBO via Mr. Skin
Just when you think you might have seen it all, along comes a movie built around a pun staring us all in the face. In the grand tradition of Snakes on a Plane and Attack of the Killer Tomatoes, the new flick The VelociPastor is offering up exactly what the title promises. A priest is grief stricken over the death of his parents, travels to China, something something something, now he’s a dinosaur.
But that’s not where VelociPastor hangs its hat. It’s not enough that he turns into a dinosaur, he must be convinced by a hooker—with a presumable heart of gold—to fight crime. And ninjas. Not kidding, it’s all there in the trailer. While obviously a low budget affair, I love this trailer’s whole aesthetic. They’re clearly going for a nouveau grindhouse feel similar to the hugely underrated Hobo with a Shotgun.
This flick may also well have the greatest tagline in history… “Welcome to the Christ-aceous period.” I mean, just when you think the pun in the title is the ace up its sleeve, this movie turns around and kicks you square in the nuts. So far the flick has only screened at festivals in The Netherlands and France, further proof that Europeans are far more cultured than we.
Keep your eyes peeled for The VelociPastor to show up somewhere stateside at some point.
If you braved the elements this past January to go see M. Night Shyamalan’s latest suicidal career swan dive Glass, then you know that the infamous writer/director has nothing left up his sleeve. Glass was a film that punished anyone in the audience that actually had the gaul to like Unbreakable and Split, teasing them with a tantalizing set-up that brought all three of the series’ main characters together, and then squandering virtually every ounce of potential that premise provided.
Now, this is not to say the film is without merit, as the newest Honest Trailer from the good folks over at Screen Junkies is also willing to point out, it’s just that the film’s “grand plan” so to speak wouldn’t work in the real world. The viral campaign at the end of the film, meant to be a triumphant moment, would be greeted with everything ranging from a healthy skepticism to outright dismissal. As much as that ending is supposed to make us think that Mr. Glass actually won in the end, the film and its creator ultimately have too much faith in humanity, particularly in the internet age.
The bit about PCP was pretty great though, wasn’t it? Anyways, check out Glass on DVD, Blu-ray, or Digital HD, or don’t. Honestly, if you liked Unbreakable and Split and still haven’t seen Glass, I would say you’re good.
Besides a handful of episodes of Parks & Recreation and a failed TV pilot titled Dumb Prince, Amy Poehler hasn’t done much directing in her career. That’s about to change in a big way as she steps behind the camera—and travels back in front of it—for the new Netflix original comedy film Wine Country.
Poehler’s bringing along a bunch of her friends from SNL including Tina Fey, Maya Rudolph, Ana Gasteyer, and Rachel Dratch for a story about a group of old friends reuniting for their friend’s 50th birthday. Needless to say nothing goes as planned, but this looks a bit more on the serious side than one might expect from all the funny ladies involved. And Jason Schwartzman.
Of course, there’s that worry in the back of your mind that Fey and Poehler have yet to make a funny movie together—both Baby Mama and Sisters were horrendously unfunny considering the level of talent on display—but with all of these talented ladies on board, and Jason Schwartzman, I think this has got a better than average chance at success. Plus it’s on Netflix, so if it sucks, you can just stop watching it.
Wine Country debuts on the streaming platform on Friday May 10.
One of the most enduring independent filmmakers in American cinema history, Jim Jarmusch has been bringing his unique slant on the world to screens since the early 80s. In all that time he’s never worked with a budget of more than $10 million, and as a result, he’s never really had to compromise his vision for anyone or anything.
Actors will line up to work for scale just to work with him, which explains why there are so many recognizable faces in his latest film, The Dead Don’t Die. I never knew that I needed Jarmusch’s take on the zombie film, though I suppose I never knew that I needed his take on samurai or vampire movies until I saw Ghost Dog and Only Lovers Left Alive.
Jarmusch regulars Adam Driver and Bill Murray co-star as cops in a town where a zombie outbreak is occurring and they have to take down the armies of undead with the help of some locals including Steve Buscemi, Chloë Sevigny, Danny Glover, Caleb Landry Jones (whom I embarrassingly thought was Joan Cusack at first glance), Rosie Perez, Iggy Pop, Carol Kane, RZA, Selena Gomez, Tom Waits, and a sword-wielding Tilda Swinton.
Yeah, there’s no way I’m not there opening night for this one, which is currently scheduled for Friday June 14.
In addition to being a box office juggernaut over this past winter, Aquaman was a balls-to-the-wall non-stop action spectacle that kept going because if you stopped to think about any of it for more than five seconds, it would all fall apart. When assembling their latest Honest Trailer, the good folks over at Screen Junkies knew this better than anyone, leading to one of their funniest efforts.
There is simply no other course of action for a critique of Aquaman than to give in to its many charms and just go along for the ride. It is one of the most insane things I have ever seen in a movie theater, and they’ve done a pretty bang-up job of explaining why this movie felt like fifteen movies all happening at the same time.
Make sure you stick around for the montage of Patrick Wilson screaming, which is one of the funniest things you’ll see today, along with the explosion interruption montage that follows. And if you haven’t seen Aquaman yet, do yourself a favor and catch up with one of the most bugnuts, bonkers blockbusters to ever hit the screen. I don’t know if Aquaman is a good movie, but it’s certainly the “most” movie I’ve seen in years.
High School Mayhem Abounds in Red Band Trailer for Olivia Wilde’s Directorial Debut ‘Booksmart’ (VIDEO)
Ever since they started allowing women to direct movies a few years ago, many actresses have taken the plunge into directing, the latest being Olivia Wilde. Ms. Wilde’s feature directorial debut, Booksmart, seems to live up to her last name, featuring two scholarly teens who decide to finally cut loose in the final days of high school.
No, that’s not Jonah Hill in a wig, as I thought when I first saw Beanie Feldstein in Lady Bird, it’s his sister. That looks just like him. She’s joined by Last Man Standing‘s Kaitlyn Dever in the lead roles of the aforementioned teens ready to cut loose. If anything at all, the flick resembles Hill’s own breakout film Superbad, which is all the stranger considering his doppelgänger stars in it.
There are some legitimate laughs here, including Jason Sudeikis playing an asshole principal, and Lisa Kudrow and Will Forte as Dever’s super understanding parents who are downright beside themselves to have a lesbian for a daughter. If this catches on like Superbad, don’t be surprised if there’s like a hundred more movies just like this over the next four years.
Booksmart opens in theaters across North America on May 24, the same day as that god awful looking live-action Aladdin directed by Guy Ritichie.
The “foul mouthed pre-teen” genre more or less went away with the 80s, a time when kids swearing and getting up to no good on film happened on the regular. Leave it to Seth Rogen and his friend and writing/producing partner Evan Goldberg (Superbad, Sausage Party) to bring back that glorious time with their new film Good Boys.
Directed by The Office veteran Gene Stupnitsky, making his feature directorial debut, the film follows the exploits of middle schoolers Max (Room‘s Jacob Tremblay) and his two buddies played by Brady Noon (Boardwalk Empire) and Keith L. Williams (The Last Man on Earth) as they ditch school for the day. Along the way they get in to all manner of R-rated shenanigans that are, as we’re reminded in the trailer’s cold open, for adults only.
Essentially, if you’re looking for Superbad but with middle schoolers, this is the movie for you. It’s hard to say if it’ll actually be successful in pulling off the risky gambit of having pre-teens swear a lot, but it seems Rogen is the guy to do it well. We’ve got a bit of a wait before we’ll be able to tell if it’s any good as Good Boys opens in North America on August 16.
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It’s Valentine’s Day, and we’re celebrating by following Cupid’s arrow all the way to where the sun don’t shine. Taylor Swift is the kind of guy’s guy who can kick back, down a brewski, and throw about the pigskin with the boys, yet is also a killer with the ladies. So it’s no wonder that she’s allegedly (according to us, and other people, but mostly us) dated some of the sexiest models and starlets in Hollywood!
If you want a detailed rundown of Swift’s ALLEGED lesbionic history, you can head here. Basically she broke her first girlfriend Emily Poe’s heart to make way for her transactional publicity stunt beard relationships with guys like Joe Jonas, Tom Hiddleston, John Mayer, etc. But then Karlie Kloss came along. And it doesn’t take a Wix website to see Kloss’ sex appeal.
The two hit it off in blonde Amazonian bombshell fashion, however, Kloss wasn’t the only one to leave her droplets on Swift’s guitar. Swift and her famed “squad” (code for harem, anyone?) will leave you with a wad, so hit the gallery for looks at all of Swift’s sexiest ALLEGED girlfriends, and let us know which chick you’re going to Shake It Off to in the comments. ALLEGEDLY.
Photo Credit: Getty Images, Mr. Skin
Welcome to Africa, idiot
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Netflix claims that 80 million households have watched their original film Bird Box, yet somehow I don’t know a soul who has actually sat down and watched it beginning to end. Nevertheless, it’s a bonafide phenomenon now, which means the folks over at Screen Junkies have turned it into their latest Honest Trailer.
Having not seen the film myself, I don’t know if this is a decent takedown, but I do know that it reinforces why I haven’t watched it yet. It’s nothing that hasn’t been done better in a dozen other similar movies. Not only that, this same basic premise was more or less done perfectly earlier last year with A Quiet Place.
I understand the thought process behind watching a Netflix Original: you don’t have to leave the house, it doesn’t cost anything to watch, etc. However, until they really start investing in quality properties, they’re just going to strike gold at random intervals, as they have been.
As much as I love Sandy Bullock and appreciate her as an actress, this looked like a direct-to-Redbox dud that must’ve only appealed to her because of the literal dump truck full of money they drove up to her house. If you’re one of the households in America that hasn’t seen Bird Box yet, it’s on Netflix. Go watch it. Or don’t, I don’t care.
Seriously, don’t mess with Keanu
Like the saying goes, if at first you don’t succeed, try something else
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We don’t need a Silence of the Lambs remake, but if someone wants to cast Louis C.K. as Miggs, it might get my blessing.
Provided you don’t watch all the way to the end, this is very impressive
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Shane Black’s The Predator could have been a great guilty pleasure had it not gone off the rails in the absurdly stupid third act. The film was clearly the victim of studio meddling, likely brought on by poor test audience scores, and you can tell. Black just sort of stops caring right around the time when all of the film’s main characters are running through the woods in the final twenty minutes.
Screen Junkies‘ latest Honest Trailer takes the film to task for taking a stupid pill, pointing out the film’s many problems, not least of which is the way they killed off Sterling K. Brown’s character rather unceremoniously. Seriously, both people I went to see this with stopped paying attention for five seconds and missed his death. That’s just sloppy filmmaking.
Don’t get me wrong, it was far from the worst movie I saw last year—that honor goes to The Happytime Murders—but as they said, all we needed from this movie was Predators vs. Badass Mercs. That’s all we needed. This movie got bogged down in some of the dumbest shit of all time, and while I can’t help but wonder what the film would’ve looked like before the studio meddling, there’s some stupid stuff in this movie that would’ve still been there, guaranteed.
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My heart breaks for him, but I can’t help laughing once he takes that vet tech for a ride
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Uh oh, guys, I don’t know what’s going on but I legitimately laughed out loud twice during this new extended sneak peek at April’s Shazam! While Aquaman was dumber than a bag of hammers, it was a lot of fun and I enjoyed watching it, meaning that DC might actually go two for two for the first time since Batman and Batman Returns.
Not only do we get Zachary Levi’s super-powered pre-teen trying to buy beer and meeting with a real estate agent about a secret lair—my two laughs—we also get our first look at Mark Strong as the villainous Dr. Sivana, as well as a pretty incredible looking rooftop transformation for the title character. Director David F. Sandberg’s last two films, Lights Out and Annabelle: Creation, were better than they had any right to be, so it’s not totally surprising that this film might actually work.
Leaning into the inherent comedy in such a premise is the right move, and I’m glad they went for it from minute one. In other words, unlike Justice League, this doesn’t feel like a film at war with itself in an attempt to land some cheap laughs. If this sneak peek is any indication, there will be legitimate laughs aplenty in Shazam!
Somewhere, someone’s enjoying this for all the wrong reasons
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Don’t act like you don’t have three of them in your glove box
Where they’re coming from or where they’re headed?
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‘Halloween’ Honest Trailer Covers the 2018 Version, Which Was Still the Best Halloween Sequel (VIDEO)
Typically the longer the wait between sequels, the worse the finished product turns out, but we’ve turned a corner lately wherein a deep, abiding love of the original has prevailed in these various remake/reboot/belated-sequels. Whether it’s The Force Awakens or Mary Poppins Returns, fealty to the original has churned out some decent flicks in the last few years, including last year’s Halloween, the sequel to Halloween.
This David Gordon Green-directed instant slasher classic was better than it had any right to be, which leads the folks over at Screen Junkies to take it relatively easy on the film in their latest Honest Trailer. Yes, they point out the obvious fact that no one was expecting much from a movie written by Kenny Powers, but still, it took us all by surprise in the end.
I’m not sure if this will end up counting as a reboot, since a sequel is already planned—and well set up by this flick’s ending, my sorta one big gripe with this movie. It’s definitely a sequel to the original, definitely ignores everything since 1978, but will now become the first in a new franchise, I guess? It’s all very confusing. This is why we need numbers. Like it or not, this should’ve been Halloween 11.
And I quote…
“I’m telling you: a man running around with his thing (dick) flapping around in the air. If you walk out of here tonight, and you see a man running down the street with his thing flapping in the air, run with that man! Because there is some scary stuff coming the other way!”
There’s only so far you can push a man before he gets up and tosses a Christmas tree in your face
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You just don’t recover from something like this. Ever.
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This is no laughing matter
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Can I just say, up front, that M. Night Shyamalan dropped the ball when he failed to call this third film in his superhero trilogy The Return of Bruno. I mean, it is, after all, the return of Bruce Willy to the franchise, so why not have a little fun with it?
Before we get the trilogy closer Glass next weekend, you can get primed with this Honest Trailer for Shyamalan’s 2000 film Unbreakable, the one that started it all. There’s lots of fun stuff in here, like them ragging on all of the intense staring that happens in this film.
I rewatched Unbreakable not too long ago and it holds up. In fact, it’s probably a better movie than it was 19 years ago. Split was decent, though it suffered from Shyamalan’s signature “too muchness” wherein he overwrites dialogue and overshoots his close-ups. He needs to make a movie he didn’t write sometime, I think he’d be better off.
As much as I want to be excited for Glass, there’s nothing funnier to me than that scene in the trailer where James McAvoy runs at Bruce Willis on all fours like an animal. I don’t care how serious you want your movie to be, the minute you start aping Tim Allen in The Shaggy Dog, it all goes out the window…
Glass, aka The Return of Bruno, opens one week from tomorrow night.