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Clown Around with the Final Trailer for ‘IT: Chapter Two’

 

My intense coulrophobia has prevented me from seeing 2017’s box office smash IT: Chapter One, and the condition will likely keep me from venturing out to the theater to see IT: Chapter Two when it opens in September. However, I know that lots of you out there are horror hounds and will flock to this one on opening weekend, so I’m setting my fear aside to bring you the latest trailer for the upcoming finale to Stephen King’s classic tale of horror.

Part of being an adult is facing your fears, I know, but that sort of thing just isn’t for me. It is the crux of this story however as the members of The Losers’ Club have all grown up and returned to Derry, Maine to face down Pennywise, the evil clown alien monster demon thing that wreaked havoc on their childhood. The film’s got a pretty stellar cast including Jessica Chastain, James McAvoy, and the always great Bill Hader. If there’s any way you could trick me into watching this, it would be to see Bill Hader.

There’s no scarier time of year than back to school time, when the first flick made a killing, so it makes perfect sense that this would drop the Friday after Labor Day. Make sure you’re not wearing white pants when you head out to see IT: Chapter Two on September 6.

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Prepare for Mid-Summer Thrills with the Final ‘Midsommar’ Trailer

 

The more this summer movie season slogs along, the more I think we’re all craving something that’s not a sequel, remake, reboot, and rebranding, and thankfully it arrives next weekend with Ari Aster’s Midsommar. The director of last summer’s sleeper hit Hereditary is back with his second horror flick in a row, this one a Scandinavian horror in the sun-drenched spirit of The Wicker Man or even something like The Hills Have Eyes.

British actress Florence Pugh is having a quite a run lately with star making turns every few months, and she’s really going to take off when she joins the MCU in Black Widow, so buy her stock now because it’s only going higher. The supporting cast also includes two other UK actors playing Americans, the Irish Jack Reynor and the English Will Poulter.

Honestly, the only thing I’m hesitant about is that 140 minute running time. Something about that makes me think that they’re going to take their sweet ass time getting to Sweden, and there’s gonna be all kinds of table setting around that. At the same time, long horror films can work fantastically so long as they can sustain dread. Though many have tried, few have succeeded, so despite my love for Hereditary, it remains to be seen if Ari Aster is the real deal or just a guy who got unusually lucky.

Midsommar opens on July 3.

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New ‘Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark’ Trailer Looks Legitimately Terrifying

 

The world of streaming has made horror more accessible to younger audiences, so it makes sense that a studio might be willing to take a chance on a real-deal horror movie aimed at pre-teens. Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark is based on a classic short story collection that terrified virtually every child of the 80s, and now a new generation will get to deal with these haunting and downright terrifying tales.

Guillermo del Toro is on board as both a co-writer and producer, with Norwegian filmmaker André Øvredal (Trollhunter, The Autopsy of Jane Doe) directing. This gives the film some serious horror pedigree and this new trailer indicates that this is a step-up from the likes of Goosebumps, which is appropriate given that the book is basically the same.

While you could convince me that this might get slapped with an R-rating, I think they’ll stay just below the line and secure a PG-13. After all, kids do have to be able to get in to see this thing, it’s not like streaming where you can just steal your parents’ password and watch whatever you want. Not that kids do that.

Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark hits theaters on August 9.

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Can a Murderous Dress Be Scary? Find Out in Debut Trailer for ‘In Fabric’

 

Inanimate objects coming to life and murdering people has been a staple of the horror genre since, probably, Death Bed: The Bed That Eats. This tongue-in-cheek subgenre has stayed alive into the new millennium thanks to films like Rubber (about a killer tire), the Annabelle franchise (about a murderous doll), and now In Fabric, about a murderous dress.

British writer/director Peter Strickland has demonstrated a fondness for another horror subgenre, Italian giallo films, with his most recent films, 2012’s Berberian Sound Studio and 2016’s The Duke of Burgundy, and this looks to continue the trend, with the killer dress in question being blood red. Strickland has also proven a master of evoking the late 70s in his prior work, making films not only set in the era, but that feel as if they were actually made back then and languished in obscurity until the present.

The film has played at a number of film festivals over the last year, including Fantastic Fest, Toronto, and Tribeca, where it was met with mixed reviews, clearly indicating a film that is not for everyone, but one that will please its very specific target audience to no end. In Fabric hits theaters in the UK at the end of June, but there is currently no announced U.S. release date.

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‘Brightburn’ Trailer Wonders What Would Happen if Superman Were Evil

 

There have been plenty of Elseworlds and What If comics over the years that have taken basically every hero and villain we know from the comics and given us the inverse version. One of the more interesting of those is Superman: Red Son, where baby Kal-El’s ship lands in Soviet Russia instead of Kansas, and thus Superman becomes the embodiment of the ideal Communist.

The new film Brightburn takes this twist on the Superman mythos one step further with a super powered kid crash landing in America’s heartland, but with a much more skewed moral compass. Elizabeth Banks takes the child in and as he comes of age, his super powers begin to reveal themselves, as does the fact that he appears to want to use these powers for evil rather than good.

It’s a fascinating concept, one that could work under the right circumstances, but overall this looks like fairly weak sauce. It’s written by James Gunn’s brother and one of their cousins, and directed by a guy whose only other feature film credit is something called The Hive. It could be good, stranger things have certainly happened, but don’t bank on it. If nothing else, it can’t possibly be as bad as Aladdin is going to be, which opens Friday opposite Brightburn.

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‘Midsommar’, From the Director of ‘Hereditary’, Has One Creepy Ass Trailer

 

If you didn’t see Hereditary last summer, you probably had to hear an awful lot about it because it was quite the word of mouth hit. If you still haven’t seen it and can appreciate a film that doesn’t play by the typical rules of horror filmmaking, I would wholeheartedly recommend it, Toni Collette was absolutely robbed of an Oscar nomination.

Hereditary‘s writer/director Ari Aster will be back again this summer with his second feature film, Midsommar. It’s a classic tale of a dude (Jack Reynor) who wants to dump his girlfriend (Florence Pugh), but then her parents die and he can’t bring himself to do it. He then takes her along on a guys’ weekend trip to a remote Swedish village where a bunch of Wicker Man-esque ritual shenanigans turn the film into something else entirely.

I’m always willing to give high concept horror a shot. I wasn’t a fan of It Follows or It Comes at Night, but I appreciate what the filmmakers were attempting to do. The artsier horror gets, the more interesting the projects that come out of it. Except last year’s Suspiria remake, that was a hot pile of garbage. Plus Florence Pugh is fantastic and I’ll watch anything she does, even that wrestling movie with The Rock Johnson.

Midsommar opens, conveniently enough, in mid-summer, on July 3.

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Debut Trailer for ‘IT: Chapter Two’ is Missing a Lot of Clown-Centric Shenanigans

 

So this new trailer for IT: Chapter Two is mostly just a scene from the film with a smattering of teases for the rest of the film occupying the last thirty seconds. Anyone hoping for a Pennywise-filled adventure isn’t going to get it from this trailer, but it’s a good indication that we should expect more of the same from this completion of Stephen King’s original story.

Of the grown-up members of The Losers Club, Jessica Chastain’s Bev gets the most screen time in this trailer, followed by Bill Hader’s Richie and James McAvoy’s Bill, who get a line of dialogue each. Bill Skarsgård’s Pennywise sneaks a line in at the end following a few prior wordless appearances, but he shows up to remind you that he’s coming back for his revenge.

Anyone who has seen the first film knows that they wisely cut the teenage orgy from the film, though one can’t help but wonder if they’re gonna sneak it into the sequel here with the adults. Sure they’re not all going to be present for it, but the fans demand the orgy, so what can you do? One can’t also help but wonder why Stephen King felt like his book really needed a kid orgy. As if the damn thing wasn’t long enough already.

IT: Chapter Two begins haunting theaters nationwide on September 6.

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‘Crawl’ Trailer Pits Kaya Scodelario Against a Giant Croc

 

Ever since The Shallows made bank three summers ago, studios have been building survival movies around a sole female character every summer since. This year’s entry in the genre is Crawl, a movie where Kaya Scodelario goes up against a giant crocodile in a movie from the director of Piranha 3D. Here’s the studio’s official synopsis…

When a massive hurricane hits her Florida hometown, Haley (Kaya Scodelario) ignores evacuation orders to search for her missing father (Barry Pepper). Finding him gravely injured in the crawl space of their family home, the two become trapped by quickly encroaching floodwaters. As time runs out to escape the strengthening storm, Haley and her father discover that the rising water level is the least of their fears. From director Alexandre Aja (Piranha 3DThe Hills Have Eyes) and producers Craig Flores (300), Sam Raimi (Evil Dead), and Alexandre Aja, Crawl is a nail-biting horror thriller in theatres July 12, 2019.

So yeah, I’m sure this will scratch whatever itch people have to see a woman in peril versus a giant predator, but this sub-genre seems to have overstayed its welcome as far as I’m concerned. I’m sure all the dudes that love Kaya Scodelario will be there in force, however, when Crawl opens on July 12.

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So There’s a New Movie Called ‘Velocipastor’ Where a Priest Turns Into a Dinosaur (VIDEO)

 

Just when you think you might have seen it all, along comes a movie built around a pun staring us all in the face. In the grand tradition of Snakes on a Plane and Attack of the Killer Tomatoes, the new flick The VelociPastor is offering up exactly what the title promises. A priest is grief stricken over the death of his parents, travels to China, something something something, now he’s a dinosaur.

But that’s not where VelociPastor hangs its hat. It’s not enough that he turns into a dinosaur, he must be convinced by a hooker—with a presumable heart of gold—to fight crime. And ninjas. Not kidding, it’s all there in the trailer. While obviously a low budget affair, I love this trailer’s whole aesthetic. They’re clearly going for a nouveau grindhouse feel similar to the hugely underrated Hobo with a Shotgun.

This flick may also well have the greatest tagline in history… “Welcome to the Christ-aceous period.” I mean, just when you think the pun in the title is the ace up its sleeve, this movie turns around and kicks you square in the nuts. So far the flick has only screened at festivals in The Netherlands and France, further proof that Europeans are far more cultured than we.

Keep your eyes peeled for The VelociPastor to show up somewhere stateside at some point.

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Debut Trailer for ‘Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark’ Will Scare the Pants Off You (VIDEO)

 

If you were a child of the 80s—and presumably the early 90s—chances are you owned a copy of the book “Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark.” Full of macabre and twisted tales, the book kept many a pre-teen up all night terrified by the exacting details of body decomposition.

Now, a whole new generation of children can be terrified by Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark thanks to a new film adaptation from producer Guillermo Del Toro. Norwegian director André Øvredal is at the helm, and if you’ve seen his last two films, Trollhunter and The Autopsy of Jane Doe, then you know he’s got an equally twisted sensibility that will suit the material quite nicely.

The film is a period piece set in the 1960s, which is an interesting choice that makes sense when you consider that many of the stories in the book were set in the distant past. The film’s official logline fills in some of the details on the framing device they’re using for this anthology film…

“It’s 1968 in America. Change is blowing in the wind…but seemingly far removed from the unrest in the cities is the small town of Mill Valley where for generations, the shadow of the Bellows family has loomed large. It is in their mansion on the edge of town that Sarah, a young girl with horrible secrets, turned her tortured life into a series of scary stories, written in a book that has transcended time—stories that have a way of becoming all too real for a group of teenagers who discover Sarah’s terrifying tome.”

I doubt this will be marketed to the Goosebumps audience, as these are slightly darker and more disturbing stories, so I would expect this to get a PG-13 rating probably. Get ready to stay up all night when Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark hits theaters on August 9.

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The Universal Monsters Dark Universe Lives Again with the Help of Blumhouse and Leigh Wannell

Two years ago, Universal had big plans to relaunch all of their “Monsters” properties as part of a new shared cinematic universe that was going to be known as The Dark Universe. There was a logo and everything. Then people got a load of the first film in the series, The Mummy, and any potential enthusiasm for such an endeavor was immediately squashed.

One by one, Universal cancelled plans to make Bride of Frankenstein with Javier Bardem, The Invisible Man with Johnny Depp, and Jekyll & Hyde with Russell Crowe, and the whole thing sort of languished for a while. Even The Mummy director Alex Kurtzman felt comfortable enough about the whole fiasco to speak ill of Universal.

Now, however, it looks as if they’re going to go in an entirely different direction with things. Universal has decided that their monsters don’t need a shared cinematic universe, but rather they need new blood to make them feel fresh and—heaven forbid—scary again. In this quest, they’re turning to their on-staff master of horror Jason Blum, whose Blumhouse Productions has been a hit machine for the studio thanks to their low-budget, huge box office formula that has worked time and time again.

According to The Hollywood Reporter, the first film in this new venture will be a Johnny Depp-less Invisible Man film to be written and directed by Leigh Wannell (Saw, Upgrade). This will hopefully refocus their efforts on making scary horror films again, as these monsters have been viewed as a joke since virtually all of them met Abbott & Costello in the 50s.

So long as they take things one step at a time this go around and don’t put several carts in front of any one horse, they might actually succeed in making this a reality down the line. If not, they can always reboot and try again in two years, just like they did this time.

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Mickey Rourke and His Ridiculous Wig Cordially Invite You to the ‘Nightmare Cinema’ (VIDEO)

 

The horror anthology film is nearly as old as the genre itself, allowing bigger filmmakers to commit to telling much smaller stories. They’ve had a bit of a renaissance lately with flicks like V/H/S and The ABCs of Death, and the trend continues with Nightmare Cinema, a new anthology film billing itself as telling “5 Tales of Terror” all united by a bewigged Mickey Rourke playing “The Projectionist.”

Don’t expect this to become a new iconic horror character, however, because even if this movie hits, Rourke will crash and burn his way out of any and all sequels somehow. He’ll figure out a way, don’t worry, this is Mickey Rourke we’re talking about. This man loves burning bridges and then building them back up again so he can once more torch them right to the ground.

The only reason I’m not writing this one off wholesale is the talent involved. Joe Dante—director of Gremlins, Innerspace, and The Howling, among others—directs one segment, as does Mick Garris who was the premiere Stephen King adapter until Frank Darabont came along. Among the cast you’ll find Patrick Wilson, Elizabeth Reaser, and my grandma’s favorite actor Richard Chamberlain. Thank goodness she didn’t live to see him come out, I don’t know how she would have taken it.

Nightmare Cinema hits select… wait for it… cinemas, as well as On Demand on February 14.

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Dead is Most Definitely Better in Chilling New ‘Pet Sematary’ TV Spot (VIDEO)

 

If you’ve seen the 1989 film adaptation of Stephen King’s Pet Sematary, you know that one of the most horrifying images from that film was Zelda, the younger sister of the main character’s wife. Zelda was affected by spinal meningitis and was quite horrifying to look at—and was interestingly played by a dude in the film… who knew?

Well, it looks like Zelda’s going to be equally horrifying in this April’s remake, as we spot a glimpse of her terrorizing Amy Seimetz’s Rachel Creed in this new TV spot. It also looked like we got a quick flash of another iconic character from the original, Victor Pascow, the student who dies of a massive head injury during Dr. Louis Creed’s first day on the job. Victor then haunts Louis throughout the film, serving as something of a voice of reason for the increasingly maniacal decisions the good doctor makes.

One last thing about this remake. As much as I love John Lithgow and think he’s an incredibly talented and gifted actor, he’s not going to be able to hold a candle to Fred Gwynne from the original as the Creed’s next door neighbor Jud Crandall. It was one of the best casting decisions in history putting Herman Munster in that role, and the round of applause his entrance got when I saw the original in the theater probably won’t be repeated this April.

Pet Sematary opens April 5, the same day as Shazam! and Best of Enemies.

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We Need to Talk About Taylor Schilling’s Creepy Kid in Trailer for ‘The Prodigy’ (VIDEO)

 

Lovers of the creepy kid horror genre are in for a real treat next month when the supernatural thriller The Prodigy hits theaters. Sadly not a profile of the famous English big beat band, this new horror film stars Taylor Schilling from that show you were addicted to for a season and a half and have yet to catch up on, Orange is the New Black.

Perhaps there’d be reason to be excited if this were written or directed by someone who has done something worthwhile in this genre before, but the biggest thing on director Nicholas McCarthy’s cv is a Casper van Dien vehicle titled The Pact from 2012. Likewise, writer Jeff Buhler has The Midnight Meat Train to his credit, and has written three—count ’em, THREE—upcoming horror remakes: Pet Sematary, Grudge, and Jacob’s Ladder.

I get it horror hounds, you’re inexplicably drawn to garbage, but we really need to start demanding more from the genre. Theatrically released horror needs to be top shelf, because there are literally hundreds of free options between Netflix, Amazon, and Hulu that we don’t even have to leave the house to watch.

Fingers crossed The Prodigy deserves its theatrical release beginning in North America on February 8, the same day as The LEGO Movie 2: The Second Part.

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It’s the Debut Trailer for ‘Us’ Jordan Peele’s Follow-Up to ‘Get Out’ (VIDEO)

 

While attending an afternoon screening of Vice yesterday (it’s fantastic, btw), I saw the first trailer for Jordan Peele’s follow-up to his Oscar winning film Get Out, simply titled Us. Peele is apparently not done in the horror genre just yet, with what appears to be another parable about the plight of African-Americans in this country.

Starring Black Panther co-stars Lupita Nyong’o and Winston Duke alongside Elisabeth Moss and Tim Heidecker (of all people) in a vaguely ominous horror film wherein a family is confronted by what appear to be evil versions of themselves. It’s all a bit vague, to be honest, but I’m fine with that. Peele now has the sort of name recognition that he doesn’t have to reveal all of his tricks in one trailer.

My hope is that this is it for trailers for this flick. Speaking of Vice, that film only had one trailer and that was extremely beneficial to the film as a whole. Not every movie needs four trailers and fifteen TV spots. I get why movie studios want to make sure that their films stay top of mind, but they don’t need to reveal the entire film in the process.

Us hits theaters on March 15. Fingers crossed there won’t be any more trailers for it over the next few weeks.

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Long Lost Full Moon Stop-Motion Flick ‘The Primevals’ Will Finally See the Light of Day (VIDEO)

 

If you’re a horror hound or had your sexual awakening during the early 90s, you’re likely familiar with Full Moon, an indie horror house that cranked out direct to video franchises like Puppet Master, Trancers, and Subspecies. In 1994, they began work on a Ray Harryhausen-esque stop-motion/live action hybrid film titled The Primevals, that sadly never came to fruition due to the death of director David Allen just five years later.

Nevertheless, Full Moon honcho Charles Band took to crowdfunding site Indiegogo to gain completion funds for the film, which can now finally see the light of day. The film is every bit the cheapie horror/comedy you’d expect from Full Moon, but there’s a heart and a love here for the stop-motion form that can’t be written off.

Chances are, if you grew up loving Full Moon, you also grew up loving Harryhausen’s films like The Golden Voyage of Sinbad, One Million Years B.C., and of course, Clash of the Titans, putting The Primevals firmly in your wheelhouse. Whether you’re a fan of the genre or not, this looks like a great way to honor an artist who literally devoted his life to making this one film, despite it not seeing the light of day until twenty years after his death.

The Primevals will be available sometime in 2019.

[h/t ComingSoon]

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‘Halloween’ Becomes the Second Film This October to Smash Box Office Records

The anticipation that built up over the nine years since Michael Myers last terrorized audiences clearly paid off this weekend as Halloween cruised to a new franchise record box office take. With an estimated opening weekend haul of $77.5 million, the film became the highest grossing entry in the canon in only three days.

Actually, it did it in two days, as the previous record holder—Rob Zombie’s 2007 reboot—grossed $58 million in its entire box office run, whereas Halloween 2018 entered Sunday with a haul of $61 million. That’s kind of insane when you think about it, but there it is. For a brief window during the weekend, it looked like it was going to make a run at Venom‘s newly minted record October opening weekend, but it fell just shy of the mark.

Having not seen it yet, I’m curious to hear what you guys think about it. Is it really worth my time? Does it live up to the hype? Oftentimes in situations like this, I’ll wait for the Blu-ray—as I did with Black Panther—only to regret not going to the theater to see it.

I sincerely hope I don’t end up in that situation again, because I’m not about to go see this in November. That means I’ve got roughly 9 days to drag my ass to the theater, but it’s the World Series this week. Thank god for off days.

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A Bunch of Horror Legends Travel to the “Area 51 of Evil” in Debut Trailer for ‘Death House’ (VIDEO)

 

What if I told you that there was a horror movie on the horizon written by Gunnar Hansen (the original Leatherface), and starring Kane Hodder (Friday the 13th‘s most famous Jason), Dee Wallace (Cujo, The Howling), Robert Englund (Freddy Krueger), Doug Bradley (Pinhead), Tony Todd (Candyman), Adrienne Barbeau (Creepshow, Swamp Thing), Bill Moseley and Sid Haig (House of 1000 Corpses, The Devil’s Rejects), Michael Berryman (The Hills Have Eyes), Ken Foree (Dawn of the Dead), Barbara Crampton (Re-Animator), Camille Keaton (I Spit on Your Grave), Vernon Wells (Bennett from Commando), and—by contractual obligation to appear in every movie ever made—Danny Trejo?

You might call me a liar, and I would say nay, I am no liar. Behold! The debut trailer for Death House features an entire horror convention’s worth of stars gathered for what appears to be a by-the-numbers cheapie that looks worthy of no one’s time. Not even the late Gunnar Hansen, who wrote the damn thing. It feels like a dig at his legacy that this got made at all. The movie’s synopsis—which you can read below along with the film’s poster—is also impossibly complex for no good god damned reason.

You really can’t help but admire that cast, though. It really does sound like the best lineup for Flashback Weekend Chicago in history. Death House, which is being advertised as “The Expendables of Horror” will be available on VOD November 6, just in time for a week after Halloween. Sigh.

The Death House is the Area 51 of Evil… a subterranean government facility that holds humanity’s worst on nine levels. Hell, Dante’s ninth level, holds the Five Evils… the “dark stars” of Death House. These individuals are so heinous they can never walk among society again. They may also be supernatural.

Agents Toria Boon and Jae Novak have their own dark pasts, arriving at Death House to tour its levels and observe its denizens first-hand as well as the medical and mental experiments of Drs. Eileen Fletcher and Karen Redmane. Their depraved experiments date back to the Nazi doctors of WWII.

Prison cells are virtual reality holo decks that recreate prisoner environments before they were incarcerated. A special hallucinogenic gas keeps inmates under control. The victims are homeless, bused into Death House to play literal victims while killing habits are studied. The results are sick, but only a hint of what goes on here.

Hell literally breaks loose inside the facility when an EMP device detonates, killing all power and communication and… releasing every prisoner. Boon, Novak, and Fletcher are caught in a race against advancing prisoner hordes led by occultist Neo-Nazi Sieg. The monsters are freed, and they’re going down.

Boon and Novak’s fight through Death House turns into a house of horrors gauntlet; their only hope of escape is descending into Hell and enlisting the help of the Five Evils. Events culminate in a violent face-to-face standoff with absolute evil… only to find that they have traveled down a rabbit hole and through a looking glass. Black is white and white is black and the definitions of good and evil no longer apply.

Who are the monsters? Who will escape?

[h/t Slashfilm]

Also, I fixed that poster for you…

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Final ‘Overlord’ Trailer is Full of Nazis, Zombies, and Nazi Zombies (VIDEO)

 

Horror movies are all the rage around Halloween, which makes the November 9 release date for the upcoming Overlord all the more curious. You’d think they would want to cash in on the Halloween madness, but pushing the flick into November makes me think the filmmakers take this film more seriously than they should.

Despite the secrecy surrounding its production and the involvement of producer J.J. Abrams, this isn’t a secret Cloverfield movie, or at least they haven’t given up the ghost yet on it being one. The film, set just prior to the D-Day invasion of June, 1944, follows a group of American soldiers who stumble upon a church that houses secret Nazi experiments.

There’s a little more substance in this trailer than was present in the first one, such as showing the soldiers reviving one of their own with the serum the Nazis have been using to genetically modify prisoners. There’s some scary imagery here, ripe for a Halloween outing to the movies, only this flick comes out 10 days after Halloween. One of these days, Hollywood will figure out release dates. Hopefully.

Overlord parachutes into theaters on November 9, the same day as The Front Runner, Illumination’s remake of The Grinch and The Girl in the Spider’s Web.

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Jamie Lee Curtis’ Laurie Strode Takes No Prisoners in New ‘Halloween’ Trailer (VIDEO)

 

It’s been nine years since a Halloween film has graced theaters, making it high time we got a new one, don’t you think? This upcoming film, titled simply Halloween, will be a direct continuation of the events of the first film, forty years later. It looks like we’re ignoring everything that happened in Halloweens II, H2O, and Resurrection, since Jamie Lee Curtis’ character Laurie Strode is alive, doesn’t have Josh Hartnett for a son, and isn’t related to Michael Myers.

I imagine that the story they’re setting up involves Strode being something of a weird recluse that all the people in town find amusing, until her prophecies of Michael Myers returning finally come true. I’m glad everything’s more or less being retconned because there’s some real garbage in this franchise. Sure, there’s some decent stuff in there, particularly Season of the Witch, but it’s mostly a lot of garbage and films attempting to make sense of the new mythology introduced by the last film.

Overall, the aesthetic for this one looks spot-on and David Gordon Green is an excellent director who likely knows his way around a genre flick like this. I think it’s got limitless possibility to be a solid follow-up to John Carpenter’s original. Halloween haunts theaters beginning on October 19.

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‘The Conjuring’ Gets the Honest Trailer Treatment Ahead of Spin-off ‘The Nun’s Release (VIDEO)

 

No movie is without its faults, and The Conjuring movies certainly have their fair share—every scene is either an exposition dump or a jump scare scene that takes an eternity to pay off. However, if you like yourself a classy horror film, this is a relatively classy franchise. I still haven’t—nor will I ever at this point—seen that Annabelle sequel that was a prequel that people keep telling me is good. I don’t have time for it. Who the hell does?

Anyway, the next Conjuring spin-off, The Nun, opens this coming Friday making it the perfect time for a takedown from the good folks over at Screen Junkies. This week, they’ve brought us an Honest Trailer based around the titular films in the franchise. It’s another solid entry in the series, nothing laugh out loud funny, but lots of decent zingers.

I find it weird that Patrick Wilson is James Wan’s good luck charm actor. He’s one of those guys I constantly forget about, and then he’ll show up in something and I’m like, Patrick Wilson… where do I know him from? Every director needs their good luck charm actor, whether it’s J.J. Abrams and Greg Grunberg or Ron Howard and his brother Clint. I guess I just don’t get how Patrick Wilson is that guy for James Wan. Should they want to reboot The Odd Couple again, cast those two.

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Dakota Johnson is in for Darkness, Tears, and Sighs in New ‘Suspiria’ Trailer (VIDEO)

 

The very notion of remaking Dario Argento’s Suspiria seems like cinematic suicide, as the film is so beloved in certain circles that a remake—no matter how competently made—will never fully be accepted. Director Luca Guadanino (Call Me By Your Name) is no ordinary director, however, and it’s becoming clearer by the minute that his Suspiria is going to be a far different animal from the original.

First things first, Guadanino’s version runs a full hour longer than the original clocking in at 152 minutes to the original’s 98. Secondly, he can’t compete with Goblin’s original score, so instead he hires Thom Yorke to do his first feature motion picture score. Third, he cast Tilda Swinton, whose mere presence elevates this above most other supernatural thrillers because she is one supernatural lady.

Then we get to the visual look of the two, which again, couldn’t be more disparate. Argento bathed his film in color, necessitating the use of an even more brilliant red so it stood out in Giallo fashion. Here, Guadanino has drained his film of color, presumably so that when the red stuff starts flowing, it’ll be shockingly red.

I wasn’t sold on this initially, and that running time really turns me off, but it’s wearing me down, slowly but surely. Suspiria opens nationwide on November 2.

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Debut Trailer for Horror/Comedy ‘Slice’ Delivers More Laughs Than Chills (VIDEO)

 

Indie studio A24 has put out some of the best, most original films of the last few years like Ex Machina, Good Time, MoonlightUnder the Skin, The Lobster, and many more. Their horror output has been equally buzz-worthy as they’ve been the home of The Witch, Hereditary, It Comes at Night, and now the upcoming horror comedy Slice.

This flick seems to put more emphasis on the comedy than the horror, however, at least by the looks of this first trailer. First time feature director Austin Vesely has helmed several of Chance the Rapper’s videos, so it makes sense that this would mark the first jump to the big screen for both men. Also along for the ride are Paul Scheer, Hannibal Buress, Deadpool 2‘s Zazie Beetz, and Stranger Things‘ Joe Keery—aka Jean Ralphio, Jr.

Two years ago, Vesely talked about the film with Pigeons and Planes, saying the following…

“People ask me often if the film is really scary. I hope it has its moments but it’s more of a comedy for me. Tonally, I was really inspired by Twin Peaks, if that says anything,” Vesely says. “I studied Paul Thomas Anderson’s movies to figure out how to balance multiple narratives. TV shows as well, like Twin Peaks, to discover how to establish a sense of place. I guess this movie is like Magnolia with ghosts. Just kidding. Kind of.”

Hopefully that gives you some sense of what this will be like. If it’s anything like the first trailer, I’m sold. Look for Slice in theaters later this year.

[h/t SlashFilm]

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New ‘Slender Man’ Trailer Looks a Cut Above the Average Teen Horror Flick (VIDEO)

 

I think we’ve all come to expect the worst from your average horror film aimed at teens, if only because so few of them have any sort of style or visual acumen all their own. The new film Slender Man seems, on the surface at least, to be another one of those disposable clones of every other boogeyman movie, but there’s some visual flair in this new trailer that leads me to believe this one might be a cut above the rest.

The first trailer was a disaster of jump cuts and cheap scares straight out of any number of forgettable horror flicks like The Bye Bye Man, but this new trailer shows a more atmospheric take. Now, it could be the same garbage movie that got bumped back from May to August and they just recut the trailer to give it a more unique feel, but part of me hopes that the extra time in post-production was used to craft a better film.

Ah, who am I kidding? This thing will come out and be forgotten about all in the same week. It’d be nice to get a horror film that actually puts some thought into its subject matter, but considering this began life as an internet “creepy pasta” meme, I just don’t know if that’ll be the case. Slender Man opens in theaters nationwide on August 10.

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It’s Allies vs Nazi Zombies in Debut Trailer for WWII Horror Flick ‘Overlord’ (VIDEO)

 

J.J. Abrams’ production house Bad Robot has brought many things to the screen over the years, but the one thing they haven’t explored is a film with an R-rating. That all ends this November when Overlord hits theaters, a film that takes the concept of Nazi genetic engineering to some strange and scary places.

Sure, the notion of a Nazi zombie film is far from original, especially in the last few years as the zombie thing has blown up in popularity, but this seems to be a slightly different animal. First rumored to be a part of the Cloverfield universe that Abrams holds so dear, the film is actually about a squadron of Allied soldiers behind enemy lines during WWII who stumble upon a laboratory where Nazis are experimenting with all manner of monster creation.

Though Abrams is only producing the film—it’s directed by Julius Avery—he’s been promoting the hell out of it, even referring to it as “batshit crazy” and “super fun” during a presentation at this past spring’s CinemaCon. If this first trailer is any indication, I think he might be telling the truth. For once. Overlord is set to invade theaters—and your nightmares—on November 9.

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‘A Quiet Place’ Honest Trailer Steps Up Its Game With Epic ASL Translator (VIDEO)

 

Perhaps the best and most groundbreaking thing about this past Spring’s surprise smash A Quiet Place was that it got audiences to shut up for two hours and actually pay attention to what was happening on screen. For his third feature directorial effort, John Krasinski proved himself a talented director with one of the most surprisingly entertaining horror films of the last few years, and now it’s up to the good folks at Screen Junkies to cut him down to size in their latest Honest Trailer.

I’m not sure how I missed Krasinski’s obvious foot fetish, but this what Honest Trailers does better than anyone else, point out stuff that will totally ruin your enjoyment of a film the next time you watch it. I’m also amazed they failed to mention the fact that this flick came to us from Platinum Dunes, Michael Bay’s horror imprint that had produced literally nothing but unwatchable garbage prior to this film. The good news is that their next flick is a live action Dora the Explorer, so this truly was an anomaly, and they’ll be back to their old ways next year.

And to answer your question Honest Trailer guy, no, no one else saw After Earth. A Quiet Place is available now on DVD, Blu-ray, and Digital HD.

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Swim as Fast as You Can to Avoid ‘The Meg’ in This New TV Spot (VIDEO)

 

While he’s done a lot of garbage in his career, no one turns into a skid quite like Jason Statham. Whenever he’s involved in a film with a ridiculous premise, he rises above the material in a way that rivals only an in-his-prime Bruce Willis, and his latest flick, The Meg, looks like another solid outing from the follically challenged Brit.

Granted they’re probably not going to go to Crank levels of absurdity with this one—i.e. he probably won’t punch the mega-shark to death—but I’m more than willing to bet that this will be a film with a decent sense of humor about itself. Kind of like Piranha 3D, another late summer aquatic horror comedy from a few summers back.

On top of all of that, this flick comes to us from director Jon Turteltaub, the man behind the National Treasure movies, which are among the cheesiest and most fun adventure movies of the early aughts. Fingers crossed that this is more of the same, and if it is, don’t be surprised if it finds a sizable audience during the dog days of summer. If only we could’ve gotten Nic Cage involved as well.

The Meg opens in theaters nationwide on August 10.

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Nicolas Cage is Bloody, Nuts in New Trailer for Sundance Sensation ‘Mandy’ (VIDEO)

 

The late George P. Cosmatos directed some of the most iconic action movies of the 80s like Rambo: First Blood Part II , starring Sylvester Stallone as John Rambo, and Cobra, starring Sylvester Stallone as Marion Cobretti. His son Panos is also a filmmaker, who created the trippy 2010 film Beyond the Black Rainbow, and now he’s back with his long overdue follow-up, Mandy, starring Nicolas Cage and Andrea Riseborough.

It seems like a gritty, down and dirty genre exercise that might accidentally make its way to the multiplex for one weekend in early September. However, the film played to rave reviews at this year’s Sundance Film Festival and, along with Mom & Dad earlier this year, seems to be a return to crazy, screaming, blood covered Nicolas Cage of old.

This looks like one weird, nutty movie with lots of crazy stuff happening. That’s pretty much in line with Cosmatos’ Beyond the Black Rainbow, which plays like THX-1138 meets Blue Sunshine meets Lost‘s Dharma Initiative. If nothing else, this film is going to bring us Nicolas Cage’s first on-screen chainsaw fight, which seems like more than enough reason to check it out. Mandy opens in select theaters on September 14, the same day as Shane Black’s The Predator. Choose wisely.

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It’s the Long Awaited First Trailer for this Fall’s ‘Halloween’ Reboot-quel (VIDEO)

 

Halloween sequels are a lot like Terminator sequels, bound and determined to make sense of a horrendously convoluted backstory only to mess things up even worse than before. This year’s reboot, simply titled Halloween, ignores everything that happened after the first film, and plays as a direct sequel.

No longer are Laurie Strode and Michael Myers long-lost siblings, that whole mythology is out the window. Now, Jamie Lee Curtis plays Laurie as a woman haunted by her encounter with a madman forty years ago, but determined to get another shot at killing him once and for all.

Now, I love the notion of this sequel, and director David Gordon Green has proven himself time and time again as someone who knows how to direct a film, just makes questionable decisions in which films to direct—see, or rather don’t, Your Highness and Our Brand is Crisis. When he’s on, though, he’s on, as he was for last year’s underrated and under-seen film Stronger, which is the best of the 2013 Boston Marathon attack movies by a mile.

I guess I’m just always leery of Halloween sequels that promise me that everything is going to make sense by the end. “Yeah, the last one was a mess, but this one’s gonna tie it all together,” is an argument that franchise fans are sick to death of. I hold out a modicum of hope this sequel finally bucks the trend—except Season of the Witch, which is the jam.

Halloween, sequel to Halloween, opens on October 19.

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Dakota Johnson Faces Her Demons in Debut Trailer for the ‘Suspiria’ Remake (VIDEO)

 

Director Luca Guadanino (A Bigger Splash, Call Me By Your Name) has proven a lover of lush cinematography and the improprieties of the upper class, making him something of a strange fit for the confined corridors and cramped interiors of the haunted ballet school in Suspiria.

Nevertheless, here he is, re-teaming with his Bigger Splash co-stars Dakota Johnson and Tilda Swinton for a remake of Dario Argento’s 1977 masterpiece. It’s an interesting notion and I wonder how audiences raised on the countless rip-offs of Suspiria will react to this film. My guess would be mostly indifferently, though there is a chance that its stark visual style ends up grabbing the attention of some of the artier among the youth.

Another interesting thing to note about this film is that it marks the debut of Radiohead frontman Thom Yorke as composer. This makes him the second member of the band, behind Johnny Greenwood, to get into the film composition business. I have yet to decide if that’s a good thing or a bad thing, but he’s definitely paying homage to the original’s brilliant score by Goblin, which is a pretty tough act to follow.

Suspiria opens in theaters—presumably in limited release—on November 2.

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