Chloe
Rochdale Escorts posted a photo:
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Blanca Blanco Braless Pokies Out And About
Every expression on Blanca’s face in these pics perfectly displays my reaction when I am at a restaurant and cannot tell if my food is about to be served to me or not. The disappoint that I experience when it goes to a different table that was seated after me is largely the reason why I am such a recluse.
Hollywood would have you think that being stood up on a date in high school is the most scarring experience of a young person’s life, but that could not be further from the truth. The screenwriters who came up with that crap have probably always ordered take out. I rarely think about the couple times in my life that I was stood up on a date, but I regularly have nightmares where I relive the shame of trying to wave down the wrong server to my table.
I cannot believe restaurants have been in existence for this long and yet we are still working with such an imperfect system. The worst part is that a simple number coding would resolve everything. The powers that be are sadists, though, so they refuse to implement it.
Photo Credit: Splash News
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Minka Kelly Busty Model Cleavage
One thing no one ever talks about in regards to female privilege is that they have the ability to wear a trench coat without anyone making fun of them. It does not matter how trendy the coat looks on a guy, he is still going to hear comments about being either a flasher or in the Matrix. Both are equally hurtful. Minka is under no threat of having someone yell at her that she needs to go save Neo, and that is a gift that no amount of testosterone can buy.
I do not know what Minka has been up to the last few years, but I am happy to see she has been taking care of herself. She was generous enough to leave that coat undone so that there would be no doubts in any of our minds as to the state of that tummy, which I thank her for.
Had she not felt like airing out her jumblies I would have been up all night trying to find recent shots of her in fighting form. Since actresses so rarely take photos while holding newspapers, it can be quite difficult to know for sure when a photo was taken.
Photo Credit: Splash News
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Demi Rose Shows Off Her Coconuts In Tulum
I’m sorry, I have to say it, I don’t have a choice: Demi Rose has a lovely bunch of coconuts, fiddle-dee-dee! There, it’s out and I’m not taking it back. Demi Rose looks hot and drinking from a coconut that was the only two things I could think about. I had to make a terrible pun. Now, please forgive me and look at Demi Rose being sexy as heck.
And my gosh, Demi Rose really does a lovely bunch of coconuts because you can use the word “coconuts” could be used in place of her breasts and her glorious rear end. Whichever you see fit, go with. If you don’t want to refer to Demi Rose’s boobs and butt as coconuts, that’s all fine too. We are not here to debate the proper terms of Demi Rose’s hotness, we are all here to enjoy it. It’s like whatever she’s sipping out of that coconut, it’s a fun experience for her. Just like staring at Demi Rose being all hot on the beach in a thong one-piece bathing suit is a wonderful experience for all of us.
Puns aren’t fun for everyone, but one thing that is a blast for all: Demi Rose being sexy. Let’s join in our unity for the sexiness of Demi Rose and forget about everything else, fiddle-dee-dee.
Photo Credit: Backgrid USA
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Kourtney Kardashian See-Through Cleavage
These photos are displaying one of two things. That is either a shirt which has been through the wash cycle a few too many times and is simply withering away. Or some time traveler is preventing its parents from banging at the high school dance and history is erasing it from memory. I am not sure which theory I should be rooting for.
Come to think of it, that photo of the back of the shirt still looks to be in pretty good condition. Maybe neither of my theories are correct. It is possible that the shirt is only wearing away in the two spots that get rubbed the most. It happens all the time when it comes to statues.
Boobs and dicks on bronze statues are always polished to military standards thanks to the pervs who cannot help but cop a feel. Obviously Kourtney’s boobs have been getting a similar treatment. My underwear usually ends up the same way on the ass region, but I have no one to thank for that but myself. It’s one of the struggles that having hairy cheeks brings with them which no one warns you about.
Photo Credit: Splash News
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Model Kayla Itsines Showcases Her Fit Body In Workout Pics
I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that model Kayla Itsines is more than a woman. She’s a machine. Because it isn’t humanly possible to flawlessly execute lateral dips like that without being more than just flesh and blood. Or maybe I am getting ahead of myself. Let’s label her a hybrid for now. Like a beautiful bionic woman. Half machine, half perfection. All amazing. They should make the next mobile phone virtual assistant based on her likeness. I mean, I’m not sold on saying “Hey Sarah,” I mean “Hey Siri” when asking my phone if the weather will be good enough to go fly fishing. Now if I were required to say “Hey Kayla” that would trigger my brain to think about that beautiful woman. So my experience won’t be so bad when my “smartphone” gives me the dumbest answer to a simple question.
I could probably daydream about Itsines all day. In fact, I’d probably be the first person to wake up from dreaming about her to going right into a daydream about her. Right after I brush my teeth of course. But my train of thought that’s concentrated on this woman would only be broken for a few minutes. And a few minutes is all I have to spare when my mind can only focus on Kayla.
Photo Credit: MEGA / Backgrid USA
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Jade
Macclesfield Escort posted a photo:
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Bella Thorne Enjoying Her Vacation In Busty Bikini Candids
You know the problem I have with vacations? They’re always just okay. Sure, going to place is fun, trying new foods, and every so often the hotel room is nice. But really no matter where I go I’m always missing Bella Thorne in a bikini.
It seems like that’s the key to making a vacation great. You need Bella Thorne and her cleavage. Now, I know that we don’t travel in the same circles as Bella Thorne, but that doesn’t mean we can’t make the most of her vacations. Taking a couple of minutes outside of our busy lives to enjoy Bella Thorne in a bikini, whether it’s a full bikini or just a bikini top and short shorts. If you think about it, I mean really put some thought into, looking at Bella Thorne’s cleavage is like a mini vacation. Or another way to put it is staring at Bella Thorne’s cleavage is the best kind of staycation in the world.
So, we can’t go to the same beach as Bella Thorne and her bikinis. That doesn’t mean we have to suck it up and take a vacation to Lamesville. Though, in fairness to Lamesville they have some nice museums. Next time we hit the road, remember to take some Bella Thorne cleavage with you. That way, you’ll always have the best time.
Photo Credit: Backgrid USA
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Ariana Grande Looks As Exhausted As She Does Sexy After 4 Hours In The Dance Studio
I may have enough jazzercise workout VHS tapes to lure Ariana Grande to my house. It’s not that I dislike exercising in public, but people often forget the extra amount of effort it takes to get there and leave. It takes time and gas. Also I pass about five donut shops and a McDonalds on the way to a dance studio, gym, or park. That’s too much temptation. There’s only so many times you can say “get behind me Satan” before you’ve relapsed and your face is stuffed with doughnut number 11 of 12 from a dozen that you’ve almost finished in one sitting all by yourself on the way to workout.
Just look at Ariana. She looks pooped. If she had come to my house I could have lent her an extra leotard and we could have worked out right in my living room. I’d even offer her the guest air mattress to sleep over so she doesn’t have to worry about her legs giving out on the drive home. I believe in not making exercise harder than it needs to be. Hopefully Ariana is up for it. I’m even a Youtube certified yoga instructor. I can really get behind her and help her nail her downward facing down form. She’ll get the workout she deserves whenever she’s with me.
Photo Credit:
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Lala Kent Works Up A Sweat In Sexy Tights At Sundance
Take special note of the sweatshirt that is wrapped around Lala Kent’s waist. You may have interpreted that as an act of convenience due to having sweaty shoulders, or maybe you thought she was trying to be trendy. In fact, that was probably intentional on Lala’s part.
The reality of the situation is that what she is doing has nothing to do with sweaty shoulders or high-fashion at all. This has its sinister roots in old world voodoo. Ask any witch doctor and they will tell you that wearing a heavy cloth around your waist is a surefire way to blast the love handles right of your hips. They might also tell you that it will make you more fertile, but that is more of a regional thing.
Obviously Lala does not need to be overcooking any muffin top, this would be a preventative measure, if you believe in this sort of thing. I believe in it, and I am against it. I think women should have natural bodies, free from augmentation and voodoo. I make an exception for silicone, for obvious reasons, but aside from that there should be no voodoo.
Photo Credit: Backgrid USA / Splash News
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Gorgeous Lottie Moss Picture Perfect For PacSun
Excuse me, but who said it was ok for Lottie Moss to change her hair color?
When you become an international icon you give up certain liberties, and being able to choose your hair color is one of them. I am not saying she is unable to change it, but she must go through the proper channels. First she must get enough signatures to put it on the referendum, and if that passes it goes on to the…
I’ll save you the specifics. Most of you didn’t pay attention during the School of Rock videos, so I doubt you’ll pay attention now. All you need to know is that there is an order to things, and it needs to be followed. Emma Stone knows better than to change her hair from the ruby red we’ve all grown accustomed to. Sure, she can dye it differently for a movie, but then she goes right back to the proper shade.
What hurts the most about Lottie’s brazen disregard for the rules is that she did not give any of us a heads up about it. What good is being the vice president of the Mid-Atlantic chapter of her fan club if she does not make me privy to these kinds of things?
Photo Credit: MEGA
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Kimberley Garner Proves She Has The Perfect Body In Beach Workout Candids
While I don’t believe for a moment that this was some “impromptu beach workout,” I have to say that it ultimately doesn’t matter because any chance we get to see Kimberley Garner working out that incredibly hot body of hers is one worth taking.
I could care less that this was obviously a publicity stunt of some sort, likely orchestrated by one or more of Kimberley’s representatives, but good on them for making sure everyone knows that their client has got the goods and then some. In fact, they should be applauded for putting this whole charade together because it’s one of the sexiest displays of human ability I’ve seen in my life.
Whenever Apple or some other major company pulls off a marketing coup, they’re lauded and applauded for years after—hell, people are still talking about that 1984 Apple Super Bowl ad. I think that Kimberley Garner and her people deserve just as much reverence for putting something this earth-shattering and memorable—not to mention dead sexy—together.
So stuff your sorries in a sack, mister and get with the times. Just enjoy Kimberley Garner in a thong bikini working out at the beach and stop wondering about the logistical side of the whole thing. You’ll live a much happier life, guaranteed.
Photo Credit: Backgrid USA
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Bella Hadid Has Her Hands Full For Michael Kors
I have a hard time believing this ad is going to help Michale Kors sell any bags, and that is not Bella Hadid’s fault. Seeing her with that many bags is my own personal hell. I have had this conversation with several people before and they agreed with me, so I know I am not alone in feeling this.
The worst parts of my day, on average, are walking to my car in the morning and walking to my apartment in the evening. Normally, I only carry one bag with me, and even that is too much. Stuff is always falling out of the bag, even when it is completely shut. The doors seem to shrink as soon as they see me approaching, so I end up banging every part of my body on the frame as I squeeze in. And somehow my bag always gets caught in the closing door, even when I am certain I pushed it through ahead of me.
So when I see Bella with that many bags I am not tempted to buy more bags for my many adventures. I am instead tempted to take the battery out of my CO detector and let fate have its way with me. Sorry Bella and Michale.
Photo Credit: Backgrid USA
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Tinashe Showcases Her Sexy Flat Stomach Out In West Hollywood
As a self-proclaimed expert in self-protection, I cannot emphasize strongly enough how a poor a choice it is to use a giant red bag to carry your valuables in. Tinashe is basically yelling a challenge to everyone in the vicinity to come and snatch it from her. It is like a matador shaking his cape. I understand that she has the fit body of a dancer, but I doubt she can throw enough high kicks around to knock out every attacker on the block.
I recommend not even using a purse to carry your belongings around. A brown paper bag serves well enough to do the job, plus it’s better for the environment. The only downside is that someone might steal the paper bag thinking it contains delicious groceries. You can avoid that by writing “Health Food Store” on the outside of it.
Personally, I carry around my belongings in a dog poop bag. Only the most perverted of people would think to steal that from a person’s hands. The only downside to this option is that occasionally a store clerk will refuse to take my money because they saw me remove it from the bag. Even me trying to force them to smell the dollar doesn’t do any good.
Photo Credit: Backgrid USA
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Taraji P Henson Proud of Her Pumped Up Cleavage For “What Men Want”
Photo Credit: MEGA / Backgrid USA / Splash News
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Iskra Lawrence Curvy Butt Candids Stripping Down To A Skimpy Bikini
People are always so excited about trying on other people’s helmets, it doesn’t even matter what job it is for. Firefighters, military, construction workers, special ed—all of their helmets have some sort of novelty associated with them that will turn even the most mature of people into a giddy little schoolgirl.
Iskra Lawrence is my prime example. She looks cool as a cucumber in all of the other photos, but as soon as that helmet touched her head she was energized with the enthusiasm of a dozen toddlers. Personally, I think that enthusiasm is misplaced. She must have no idea that those helmets get washed once every never, and have more bacteria in them than a petri dish.
I do not know how people can manage to not know this. As soon as the helmet gets within arms-reach they should be able to smell it. I can practically smell it through the picture.
I suppose most people are just happier not knowing, the same as they are with not knowing how clean their hotel room is, or how clean their one-night-stand’s sheets are. It’s best to pretend you got that ringworm from the homeless man you gave a dollar to one year ago.
Photo Credit: Splash News / MEGA
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Demi Rose Totally Wild Bikini Body
Thankfully Demi Rose had the presence of mind to pull her hair up off her back. We almost were not able to see her tiny ass, and what would we have been forced to be entertained by instead, her tiny boobs? I don’t think so. Her totally average looking face would have had to carry the entire load that the rest of her body was unwilling to.
Thankfully it did not come to that. Her unremarkable face probably would have only been able to keep my attention for two or three hours until something more attractive came along, like the reflection of my own face in the monitor screen. But, again, thankfully it did not come to that.
I try to avoid staring at my beautiful face too much because I do not want to become conceited. If I was to become conceited, though, I bet I’d be the most conceited person in the world, because I am that beautiful. I have had people take one look at me on the street and become instantly confused, wondering how they managed to walk into an art museum. And not one of those Picasso-type museums, one of the good ones.
Photo Credit: Backgrid USA
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Larsa Pippen Leggy Candids In Slightly See-Through Dress
You know what I’ve always wondered about, when someone like Larsa Pippen buys a see-through dress do they know it’s see-through when they buy it? We’ve all been shopping and bought something that looks completely different when we bring home. I blame the bad lighting in the dressing room, but you think Larsa Pippen knew she’s was going to buy a see-through dress?
Part of me is like; “Yeah, Rusty, of course Larsa Pippen knew she was buying a see-through dress. Look at her! Look at her awesome body in that see-through dress! She knew what she was doing!” and the other part of is one of those shrugging shoulders emojis. I can’t really argue with myself though, half of me makes a pretty good point. Larsa Pippen does look amazing in a see-through dress. Why wouldn’t she want to get one? Why wouldn’t she want to wear it all around? Why shouldn’t have a closet full of see-through dresses? If she did, it would make perfect sense to me. It would be like see-through dresses were her thing. The more I think about it, Larsa Pippen’s thing should be see-through dresses.
I should learn to turn off that other part of my brain. Larsa Pippen in a see-through dress doesn’t need much thought, other than how much I, and everyone else, enjoy it. Whether she knew the dress was see-through or not, Larsa Pippen looks hot either way.
Photo Credit: Backgrid USA / Splash News
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Lily-Rose Depp Hard Pokies In Extremely Short Crop Top
Hachi machi! Every time I think I might not be into Lily-Rose Depp because of who her dad is or because I’m just generally not attracted to waifish types, she shows up in a top like this and makes me forget any of my biases against her.
I also have a big problem with women named after two different flowers, though I guess my beef is more with Johnny and Vanessa than it is with Lily-Rose. You can’t hold anyone’s name against them, they didn’t pick it out. But still, you could just go by Lily. Or just by Rose. You don’t have to be Lily-Rose, hyphenated, even if it is your full legal name.
Don’t go by Rose though, that’s such an old lady name. I know that there have been hot Roses throughout the years, but to me it still sounds like the little old lady who used to give me butterscotch candies anytime I carried her groceries for her.
So don’t judge a book by its cover and don’t judge Johnny Depp’s daughter by her name, I guess is the lesson here. She does look fine as hell in this tiny blue top, though, that’s undeniable. Her name could Smooshy-Pooshy Depp and I’d still look.
Photo Credit: Splash News / Backgrid USA
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Kelly Ripa Smolders In White Hot Bikini Candids
If you only ever see Kelly Ripa under the hot lights of her daytime talk show, you might forget that she’s got a smoking hot fit body underneath those flowing kimonos or whatever the hell else she’s wearing on that show. Kelly’s keeping her body in business well into middle age, and you’ve got to respect any woman who can dedicate herself to looking this good long past her prime.
I’d chalk that up to her being a Jersey girl. Jersey girls are just made differently, I don’t know what it is, but they’ve got that “never say never” attitude that makes them so endearing. You’ve got to fight to get your voice heard in a Jersey household, so it clearly gave her the confidence to go out there and conquer daytime television.
So the next time you’re home sick and you come across Kelly’s talk show, come on back to this gallery and get a reminder of how hot she is when she’s not posing in expensive clothes next to certified boner-killer Ryan Seacrest. Honestly, if you’re pushing fifty and still keeping your body in thong-bikini shape, you deserve a standing ovation. Here’s to you, Kelly Ripa, for making it work and keeping it working for all these years. Jersey strong!
Photo Credit: Backgrid USA
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Demi Rose Showcases Her Perfect, Curvy Booty On Big Island Swing
Thank goodness for Demi Rose being in these photos, because without her they would be real duds. Seeing nothing but tropical scenery gets old pretty quickly. That is why people only go to Florida for a week at a time, aside from the retirees, but they don’t count. The retirees are practically refugees that wouldn’t survive in their homelands.
I am not so sure I would even be impressed by that giant swing if it wasn’t for Demi’s big haunches resting atop it. It surely wouldn’t be very comfortable to sit on since it is only a plank of wood, and it is so long that you would not be able to get a good grip of the ropes in order to kick yourself up high. Honestly, she is basically just sitting on a bench that is suspended from the ceiling.
The only thing that is really remarkable about the swing is how big it is. The swing already looks big compared to Demi’s body, but then I remembered just how big Demi’s booty is. That means the swing must be even bigger than I first thought. If only there was a normal sized booty that was also within the frame that could serve as a reference.
Photo Credit: Instagram
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Rita Ora Displays Her Fabulous Figure In Nude Bodysuit Photos
I do not understand why the background of modeling shoots are not allowed to have hard edges. Them curving the wall into the floor throws off my bearings and makes me question which way is really up. I don’t like it. Man was meant to walk on the floor, not the wall. Anything that goes against that is an abomination against nature which must be destroyed, and I can find you at least ten other people that agree with me.
Thirteen year old me would have enjoyed having the walls in my home curve like that, though. I could have done so many sweet tricks on my skateboard in there. It would have been like living out an episode of Viva La Bam, which is pretty much as sweet as it gets for anybody. My mom probably would not have enjoyed the plummeting value of the home due to the wheel marks on the walls, but that is the price a person pays for having such a cool son.
Now all I can think of is how much cooler this shoot could have been if Rita Ora had gotten on a skateboard while wearing those high heels.
Photo Credit: Instagram / Splash News
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Jennifer Lopez In Just A Tight Little Bra
I’m trying to think of all the ways I would enjoy Jennifer Lopez. I know I’d enjoy her here or there. Without a doubt, I’d enjoy her anywhere. I think I enjoy her because she has no flaw, but I enjoy her most in a tight little bra. I mean, holy moly good green eggs and ham that is one good looking woman without a shirt on. I feel like a peeping Tom. But if she’s anti-shirt then I’m anti-shirt. I’ve tossed my tee across the room in Jennifer’s honor. Who needs a top when your body is a blessing meant to be shown off.
Lopez should accidentally lose all of her shirts on purpose. Ten out of ten men would agree she looks better this way. The terminator glasses are a nice touch as well. I keep picturing her in my head saying “I’ll be back” with less and less clothes every time. I’d sure hop on a motorcycle and ride off into the future with her. But in the meantime, I’ll just take in as much of her as I can in the present. Since I am one to stare, I should probably take a picture because it’ll last longer, but I think HD 4K Go Pro video would last even longer than that. I think I’m going to look for a Go Pro to buy before going Lopez watching.
Photo Credit: MEGA
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