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Kanye West is Running for President

Remember when we elected an absolute moron who didn’t even know where the hell he was half the time to be president on the basis of his minor celebrity and promises to “make America great” and then he completely fucked up the country and all but ignored a virulent and deadly disease? I hope we don’t make that mistake again. But enough about how Ronald Reagan handled the AIDS crisis, Kanye West is running for President.

I don’t believe in any gods but I do feel like my prayers have been answered.

Now, it takes more than a declaration on Twitter to run for President; there is paperwork to be filed, signatures to be gathered for ballot access, and a myriad of hoops to jump through. Kanye has not done any of that yet.

He has, however, brought out some of the low-key racism of Joe Biden supporters like Debra Messing, who claimed West is “trying to take young black voters from Biden.“

Donald Trump may be a terrible President but I have to give him props for turning these limousine liberals into raving lunatics just constantly ripping the masks off on the pretense that they’re good people because of their politics.

Kanye West is probably not running for President. Like I said, he’s done none of the actual work involved with actually running for President. But if he does actually run, I think I’ll vote for him. After all, what could go wrong if we vote for a reality TV personality with crippling narcissism and some sort of very obvious learning disability?

The post Kanye West is Running for President appeared first on The Blemish.

Kanye West 2020: I’m Running for President!

Despite years and years of Kanye West's unhinged behavior, he still manages to catch people off guard.

On Independence Day, Kanye decided to announce that he is running to be President of the United States.

Kanye West, Face on Video

In 2015, Kanye West was for some reason awarded the Video Vanguard Award at the VMAs.

This unfortunately meant that he was allowed to speak to the audience. At that time, he threatend to run for President in 2020.

At the time, the whole sounded farcial. Now, Kanye is making that mostly forgotten joke into a horrifying new reality.

Kanye West tweet running for president 2020 july 4

"We must now realize the promise of America," Kanye tweeted on the evening of July 4, 2020.

He wrote that this promise can be realized "by trusting God, unifying our vision and building our future."

"I am running for president of the United States," he threatens, sending a chill down the spines of millions.

Kanye West and Kim Kardashian for Versace

In case anyone was wondering if any other members of the Insufferable Rich Clown Squad are also Team Kanye, the answer is yes.

D-list supervillain Elon Musk, who was hanging out with Kanye just a few days ago, immediately tweeted his support.

"You have my full support!" he tweeted as if that were a reasonable, non-embarrassing thing to say.

Elon Musk tweet supports Kanye West 2020 of course

Naturally, Twitter was immediately filled with countless tweets roasting Kanye.

While there is a lot to be said about the ethics of making fun of an unmedicated man who appears to be surrounded by enablers ...

... We should remember that Kanye is still accountable for much of his behavior and poor choices.


A few people decided to make memes joking about supporting Kanye, which seems to be in very poor taste.

Others are taking his threat to run for President very seriously, warning that it may be a ploy to divide voters.

Honestly? He may mean it seriously, but many are unsure if Kanye is sufficiently grounded in the real world to predict this outcome.

Hello There, Wife

Some are asking -- or even hoping -- that Kanye is already past the deadline for a Presidential run.

The answer is complicated.

There is no formal federal deadline for running, but each state has their own ballot access laws for registering to appear on the ballot.

Kanye Actually Smiles

Some people immediately expressed their hopes that Kanye is just joking.

He may eventually say that he was joking, just has he recently claimed that his Trump support was just a ploy.

But if he is joking right now, then Kim is playing along with him, as evidenced by her quote-tweet.

Kim Kardashian tweet american flag emoji support for Kanye

The amount of time that passed between his tweet and hers is raising some eyebrows.

Usually, people announcing their candidacy have a lengthy talk with their loved ones first, as well as meeting with campaign managers.

Their announcement is then carefully planned. Whether or not anything like that happened for Kanye, or whether Kim even knew, is unclear.

Kimye is Cute

So aside from his general lack of impulse control and tendency to make statements that do not reflect reality, what is the issue with Kanye running?

For one thing, Kanye's infamous meeting with Donald Trump is still a fixture in the minds of many Americans.

He can claim anything that he likes about his motives for the photo op, but the damage from that meeting was done.

Kanye in the White House

Additionally, Kanye has had many gaffes, including his comments about slavery having been a "choice."

Slavery was not, for the record, a choice -- choosing a job is literally antithetical to slavery.

Kanye can offer up all of the explanations that he likes, but nothing can ever make that an okay thing to have said.

Kimye Shares a Moment

Much more recently, Kanye did a lengthy interview in which he announced plans to change his name to Christian Genius Billionaire.

During that interview, he raved about many irrational topics, at one point claiming that doctors had given him drugs to "silence" him.

In fact, he even accused medical professionals of prescribing medications that caused him to gain weight "on purpose."

Kanye West as a Guest

If anyone had "Kanye runs for President" on their 2020 apocalypse bingo sheet, you may as well go ahead and mark that one.

We do not know if Kanye will actually follow through on this fever dream of a Presidential run.

And if he does run, it is unclear whether or not he will run as Ye, Kanye, or Christian Genius Billionaire. So many choices.

This Feels Super Comfortable and Not Awkward at All

The reflection of Grimes in the glass just makes this.

The post This Feels Super Comfortable and Not Awkward at All appeared first on The Blemish.

Kanye’s Former Bodyguard is Back, Calls West a Bully, Claims he Never Signed an NDA

If you’re rich and famous, it is in your best interest to be nice to the people who work for you, because if you’re an asshole they’re going to tell people about it. This is a lesson Kanye West clearly has not learned because boy does his former bodyguard, not like him. And it turns out threatening to sue someone over some minor slams doesn’t make them less likely to tell everyone how much you suck.

Kanye West’s former bodyguard Steve Stanulis has not exactly been quiet about his bad a boss he thought Kanye was, and West threatened to sue him for breaching the NDA he signed. Only now Page Six reports that Stanulis claims he never signed an NDA.

But Page Six has now seen a response from Stanulis’ lawyer, which claims the bodyguard never signed a confidentiality agreement in the first place.

The missive goes on: “As such, any efforts undertaken by your clients to enforce any purported ‘confidentiality agreement’ will be met with counterclaims, that will seek significant damages, along with court costs and legal fees.”

In a statement to Page Six, Stanulis’ attorney, Dmitriy Shakhnevich, said, “Our client is being bullied here, and we will not stand for that.”

This guy is currently promoting a movie he was in with Tara Reid, who used to be a celebrity. But he’s clearly had enough of Kanye’s s**t, which is probably true of anyone who worked with Kanye. He even said that “if Kanye and Kim want to go to war, bring it on — they aren’t the only ones with a strong legal team.”

I honestly want this to go to court and see what comes out during discovery about Kanye. America needs entertainment, Kanye, give it to us. Be a star on Court TV which isn’t a thing anymore.

The post Kanye’s Former Bodyguard is Back, Calls West a Bully, Claims he Never Signed an NDA appeared first on The Blemish.

Kim Kardashian Reportedly Needs to Get Away From Kanye so She Doesn’t Divorce Him

Kanye West is kind of a handful. I mean, really, I find the dude exhausting and I just see him on TV. Can you imagine living with him? A normal person would be clawing their eyes out. Apparently, so would Kim Kardashian, because The Sun is reporting that Kim feels like she needs to get the hell away from Kanye before she divorces him.

“Things are tough between Kim and Kanye because they never normally spend this much time together, but she doesn’t want a divorce,” says the insider.

“She considers her marriage to Kanye and their family together a huge success – she’s the only sister who is married and thinks of herself and Kanye as a power couple.

“The last thing she wants is a divorce – especially because the public backlash after her second divorce was unbearable.

“What I think will happen is they’ll spend time apart in different houses – but not divorce.”

That’s a good reason to stay together; if you don’t, your TV ratings might go down. And you’re a power couple, you’re like Jay-Z and Beyoncé except everyone hates you and you have to hang out with Donald Trump instead of Barack Obama.

On the other hand, Kanye has been uncharacteristically not terrible during the recent period of protests and unrest following the murder of George Floyd.

Kanye managed not being terrible by keeping his damn mouth shut for a change. I know, every brand in the country has weighed in, but Kanye has said absolutely nothing.

But then Kanye showed up Thursday night at a protest in Chicago and like other celebrities who have been protesting he didn’t make things about himself, he was just another person coming out to show solidarity.

Kanye also made a rather sizable donation to the family of George Floyd, as well the families of Ahmaud Arbery and Breonna Taylor, two other victims of police brutality.

I don’t actually think Kanye West is a bad person, and I think, like you see here, his heart is ultimately in the right place.

The post Kim Kardashian Reportedly Needs to Get Away From Kanye so She Doesn’t Divorce Him appeared first on The Blemish.

Kim and Kanye Could Sue Former Bodyguard Who Keeps Telling Everyone How They Suck

Steve Stanulis used to be Kanye West and Kim Kardashian’s bodyguard, and now he’s an actor, director and producer. This means he’s out promoting a movie he made with Tara Reid called 5th Borough, and while he’s on the road he’s got a lot to say about his former bosses, something TMZ reports has lead Kim and Kanye to threaten him with a lawsuit. What sorts of things does he have to say, which the couple claim are false and defamatory?

If you missed it, Stanulis claimed Kanye had “ridiculous rules” — like walking 10 paces behind him on city streets, and claimed he got angry if Steve blocked a paparazzi shot. He also called Yeezy the “moodiest” and “neediest” celeb who’s hired him.

I mean, if that is false it’s the most plausible lie anyone has ever told. Why would you even make that up, it’s like making up a story about Harvey Weinstein being a sex pest, there are just so many examples to choose from that you’re just wasting your own time making up a fake one.

Stanulis told TMZ, through a representative, that they have no grounds to sue because this wasn’t a breech of his NDA since the information was already out there from when he breeched his NDA before.

The post Kim and Kanye Could Sue Former Bodyguard Who Keeps Telling Everyone How They Suck appeared first on The Blemish.

John Legend Says he and Kanye West Aren’t That Close Anymore

You probably wouldn’t know who John Legend is if it wasn’t for Kanye West, and he almost wouldn’t be married the Twitter lady who used to be a model or something if not for his music career. But despite the work they’ve done together, Us Magazine reports that Legend says he and Kanye aren’t that close anymore.

The “All of Me” singer, 41, was asked about the status of his friendship with the rapper, 42, in an interview with the Sunday Times on May 31 and clarified if there was a rift between the pair because of West’s vocal support of President Donald Trump.

I don’t think we’re less friends because of the Trump thing,” Legend said. “I just think we’re doing our own thing. He’s up in Wyoming [where West owns a $14 million ranch]. I’m here in L.A. We’ve both got growing families and I no longer have a formal business relationship with him as an artist, so I think it’s just part of the natural cycle of life.”

How much of Wyoming do you have to buy for it to be worth $14 million dollars? I imagine it must go into Colorado, how else would it be worth that much? I mean really, what’s the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word Wyoming? It’s “uhh, umm…” isn’t it?

For me it’s this clip from Garfield and Friends.

He added that he and the “Jesus Walks” rapper “never talked about politics before. It was never a part of our interaction. Our interaction was almost always about creativity and music.”

Legend added that West is also in “a different place” musically: “He’s doing gospel music. That’s what he’s focused on right now, designing his clothes, so we’re in different places.”

They were just work friends. Of course, Legend performed at Kanye’s wedding to his wife the TV lady who used to be a porn star or something, but I get why you’d want to play that one off.

I often wonder what the hell happened to Kanye that he went from “George Bush doesn’t care about black people,” to “Donald Trump definitely does, though.”

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Kim Kardashian to Critics: Take THIS Anniversary Tribute!

It's been a difficult quarantine for Kim Kardashian.

This may be stating the obvious, considering how millions of people are basically stuck at home these days, but it seems especially true for the former Ray J sex tape co-star.

And here's why...

Kimye: 6 Years!

First, Kardashian paid tribute to her mother on social media -- by sharing a throwback photo of Kris Jenner and giving her props for having shed a lot of her pregnancy weight decades ago.

Yes, of all the attributes Kim chose to admire about her parent, this was the one she focued on:

Jenner's weight loss.

Pretty sad and pathetic, right?

Kim & Kris Selfie

Then, Kim faced a new round of criticism after she was accused of being racist in her latest promotion of shapewear line Skims.

On top of all this, there's been chatter that Kim and Kanye aren't getting along at all amid this Covid-19-based quarantine, fighting non-stop as they're forced to actually spend time together.

This may sound crazy, but think about it:

These superstars are often on the road for their job... and now they're actually under the same roof, with four young children, for weeks and weeks and weeks at a time.

That would be enough to drive many relationships all the way to the edge.

Kim Kardashian For Skims

In the face of these rumors, meanwhile, Kim and Kanye rang in their sixth wedding anniversary.

On May 24, 2014, the pair exchanged vows in France.

And, based on what Kim just wrote on Instagram, despite what you may have read of late...  they have every intention of sticking to these legal and romantic vows until the day they die.

"6 years down; forever to go Until the end," Kim wrote on Instagram, along with two throwback photos of her and the rapper.

Kim Kardashian in Kuarantine

Kris Jenner also commemorated their special day as follows:

"Happy Anniversary to these two!!! I love you guys!!!!! @kimkardashian #KanyeWest."

Kanye didn't say anything about the occasion, perhaps signaling that things are, indeed, rocky at home.

Or perhaps just being as quiet and mysterious as he typically is.

Hello There, Wife

For their fifth wedding anniversary, West whisked his bride away to Las Vegas for a special trip to see Céline Dion in concert.

This took place just two weeks after the pair welcomed their fourth child, Psalm, into the world via surrogate.

Of their marriage, a source told People Magazine last year that "Kim and Kanye seem very happy," adding:

"They feel very proud about their marriage and they love being parents."

Kanye West Has Decided Words are for Chumps, Will Now Communicate With a Series if Beeps

Words are probably not Kanye West’s strong suit.nothing good has ever come from West saying words. Well, there was that one time that he said George Bush doesn’t care about black people but after that absolutely nothing good came of it.

Kanye seems to agree, and he’s told GQ he’s decided to stop using them.

I think words are one of our lowest forms of communication. Music, sound, food, dancing are nonverbal forms of communication. We get so wrapped up into words. We got to make things that are speechless. We have to make things that leave people speechless. We have to make things to the level where no one can say anything.

He’s got a new system all worked out, though.

The greatest freedom is to challenge the vernacular. Or add something to the vernacular. I saw [Alyx designer and former DONDA member] Matt Williams in the hotel lobby at the Mercer a couple weeks ago. Right when I saw him, I started communicating in, like, beep sounds. You know the beginning of the Bobby Digital song? Like that.

This is a great plan. He should have stuck with it for the rest of the interview, though, because later on he said of his late friend Kobe Bryant “He was the basketball version of me, and I was the rap version of him, and that’s facts!”

I suppose “you’re like me” is very high praise for someone as up their own ass as Kanye, though. And doling out that praise right after inventing a bad, unintelligible version of Morse Code 200 years after the fact is classic Kanye.

The post Kanye West Has Decided Words are for Chumps, Will Now Communicate With a Series if Beeps appeared first on The Blemish.

The Rest of that Kanye West Phone Call with Taylor Swift About ‘Famous’ Leaked

The Taylor Swift/Kanye West feud is the gift that keeps on giving. Taylor Swift is usually feuding with basically everyone she’s ever met all the time because she’s a rich white lady and being huge bitches is their number one hobby.

But Kanye has a special place in Taylor’s heart because he is the one person to ever call an award show bullshit in the middle of someone’s self-aggrandizing acceptance speech, and that speech was being given by Taylor Swift.

One particular twist in this feud is when Swift was complaining about Kanye’s song ‘Reputation’ taking a shot at her, but Kim Kardashian released audio of Kanye and Taylor talking about it before the song came out.

But now even more of this conversation came out.

Okay, so it seems like Kanye didn’t tell her the part of the song where he says “I made that bitch famous.”

But the real story here is how ridiculous Swift’s fans are. “Kanye West is Over Party?” This nothingburger is the thing you think Kanye is going to get cancelled over? The guy who went on national TV and said George Bush doesn’t care about black people (which rocked)? The guy who married Kim Kardashian and then found god and tells her to cover up because it makes him look bad? The guy who rushed the stage when Taylor Swift was accepting a VMA and told her it should have gone to Beyonce? You think the thing people are going to decide is finally over the edge is that he wasn’t entirely honest with Taylor Swift once? C’mon.

The post The Rest of that Kanye West Phone Call with Taylor Swift About ‘Famous’ Leaked appeared first on The Blemish.

Taylor Swift and Kanye West: The Conversation Has Leaked!

We're very sorry, folks.

We know you have enough to deal with right now, hopefully keeping a safe distance from most other human beings while you social distance and keep the country safe.

But we must nevertheless present to you the following piece of viral information:

The Taylor Swift versus Kanye West feud is not actually dead.

You know the one, right?

The one that started way back at the 2009 MTV Video Music Awards when Kanye interrupted Taylor's speech on stage? And then exploded in 2016 when Kim Kardashian and her husband released portions of a phone conversation West had with Swift?

During which Swift seemingly gave the okay for Kanye to slam her in the track "Famous," only to later complain in public about Kanye's lyrics?

And Kim subsequently trashed Swift as a liar and a snake?

We were really hoping this rivalry was a thing of the past.

On March 21, however, a video somehow leaked online that depicted the conversation referenced above.

We've posted it on this page -- and it features West asking Swift to actually Tweet a message about the track "Famous," followed by him running a lyric by the pop star.

“Well, is it gonna be mean?” the “Shake It Off” crooner asks of this lyric.

"No, I don’t think it’s mean," Kanye responds.

Swift: Okay, then, let me hear it.

West: Okay. It says, um,… and the funny thing is, when I first played it and my wife heard it, she was like, “Huh? What? That’s too crazy,” blah, blah, blah.

And then like when Ninja from Die Atwoord heard it, he was like, “Oh my God, this is the craziest s—. This is why I love Kanye,” blah, blah, blah, that kind of thing. And now it’s like my wife’s favorite f—ing line.

I just wanted to give you some premise of that. Right?

After all this stalling, Kanye finally come out with it to Swift:

So it says “To all my Southside [N-word] that know me best, I feel like Taylor Swift might owe me sex.”

Swift laughs and seems fine with this line -- but she does later balk at the lyric about how Kanye claims to have made her "famous."

He also never says in the call that he calls her a "bitch" in the same song.

We don't know how this video got out and we're as sick of this story as everyone else out there.

But it's news, right?

And it's news that is not Coronavirus related, for a welcome change.

So listen to the exchange in the footage and then choose a side:

Team Kanye or Team Taylor?

Taylor swift and kanye west infamous phone conversation leaks li

Why Wouldn’t Kanye Kiss His Wife at the NBA All-Star Game?

If you remember when Kanye West first started dating Kim Kardashian, you’ll recall he just would not shut up about how beautiful and sexy she was and how much he loves her and she was absolutely not a hobbit.

Now, after six years of marriage, Kanye wouldn’t even kiss Kim on the kiss cam at the NBA All-Star game.

Yikes, that is just so awkward. I have two theories on what happened here.

the first one is that Kanye is so off in his own world and up his own asshole that when he saw a camera he literally forgot other people exist for a second. It seems likely, if you see the way he mugs for the camera and then smiles when Kim kisses him on the cheek.

My other theory is that Kanye has worms in his brain since he converted to Christianity and those worms told him that public displays of affection are sinful. Kanye has recently been on a kick of saying Kim, who is famous because he mom convinced her to sell a sex tape, dresses too sexy. If you want to put your wife in a burqa, you’re probably not going to want people to see you kiss her. Converts to religions are always the ones who take that shot way too far. No one becomes a Christian as an adult to only go to mass on Easter and Christmas.

The post Why Wouldn’t Kanye Kiss His Wife at the NBA All-Star Game? appeared first on The Blemish.

Kanye a West Says T.I. Forcibly Having His Daughter’s Vagina Inspected Was ‘God Approved’

Kanye West is dumb and if you’re turning to him for spiritual leadership you deserve whatever fucked-up afterlife you end up in. It’s just going to be an eternity of singing along to ‘Gold Digger’ with no one ever telling you whether or not it’s okay to say the n-word. If you want to go to church with a rapper, just go to Reverend Run’s church. It’s an actual church and Kanye’s never had a song as good as “Run’s House’ anyway.

Remember when T.I. told that hilarious story about how he violated his daughter’s human rights by forcing her to undergo unnecessary, invasive medical procedures to ensure that she was a virgin? And how everyone hated him and it put a lot of stress on his relationship with his daughter and he finally came out and said he didn’t even really do that and he was sorry he embarrassed her like that? Well, Kanye took T.I.’s side. The side that even T.I. isn’t on anymore.

Kanye is still giving religious sermons and folks, he’s getting weirder. And this is a guy who went on SNL dressed as a bottle of water.

What Kanye said was that people on the internet “tried to play “ T.I. even though he was “talking about something that’s God-approved.” Which is pretty crazy, thinking that God wants you having your daughter’s hymen inspect, but then again have you heard what Judaism and Shafi’i Islam say to do to genitals? Just having a look around seems like a walk in the park.

Kanye has some good points to make occasionally, a she contrasts dragging T.I. with the death penalty and yeah, checking someone’s hymen isn’t as bad as a justice system that targets minorities having the power to execute potentially innocent people, but there are better examples, I’m sure.

The post Kanye a West Says T.I. Forcibly Having His Daughter’s Vagina Inspected Was ‘God Approved’ appeared first on The Blemish.

Kanye West Thinks Kanye West is the ‘Greatest Artist That God Has Ever Created‘

Kanye West is a Christian now, but I don’t think the lessons of Christianity are really sinking in for him. Jesus said “Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth,” and what Kanye West heard was “stack those dollar bills, son!” I feel like if Kanye West realized being a Christian is supposed to mean he should be a better person and change his lifestyle instead of just having it be another way to get people pay attention to him he would convert again so fast.

In a fine display of Christian humility, Kanye dropped by Joel Osteen’s church for Sunday services and told worshippers that he, Kanye West, is “the greatest artist that God has ever created.”

Seriously, that’s a thing he said, it’s in People.

“Because every time I stand up, I feel that I’m standing up and drawing a line in the sand and saying, ‘I’m here in service to God and no weapon formed against me shall prosper,’ ” he said.

“Jesus has won the victory. I told you about my arrogance and cockiness already. Now the greatest artist that God has ever created is now working for him,” he added, with a smile on his face.

If there’s one thing I know about God it’s that He loves it when you prop yourself up.

“He and Kim are both focused about doing good and helping less privileged people. Especially with the holidays approaching, they try to do as much as they can. They also want their kids to know that many people are suffering and need help. The older kids will do some charity work this year as well,” the source adds.

So maybe Kanye kind of gets it but there are cameras on him 24 hours a day and when have you ever seen him do something that isn’t blatant self-promotion?

Also, Kanye, I’m sorry, but the greatest artist God ever created is Riley Reid. I’m still working my way through her oeuvre 10 minutes at a time, but it’s way better than, say, Golddigger.

The post Kanye West Thinks Kanye West is the ‘Greatest Artist That God Has Ever Created‘ appeared first on The Blemish.

Kanye West’s Christian Phase is Already Wearing Thin

Kanye West has been a Christian for about a week or so, and like anyone with a new hobby he has talked about it until everyone around him is just absolutely sick of hearing about it. Seriously, think about how you would look at me if I spent the rest of this article talking about Magic: The Gathering is in real trouble right now because Oko, Thief of Crowns is just steamrolling over Standard and it really needs to banned on the 18th because no one wants to play another year and half of Magic: The Elkening. That’s how we should all feel every time Kanye West says the word Jesus.

Let’s look at what Kanye has done since his come to Jesus moment. He showed up at Coachella and lead a prayer service, which included him selling $200 Kanye West Approved Church Sweatpants. So he’s already mastered the whole Righteous Gemstones rip everyone off televangelist mega church bullshit thing in his first day, which is record timing.

Then he made his new album all Jesusey and invited Kenny G to collaborate with him because why wouldn’t he, it’s not like an incredibly successful comedian (among NPR listeners, anyway) used Kenny G as shorthand for being terrible at music.

By the way, Jesus is King got delayed more times than the second coming. Seriously, that guy was supposed to be here by now. I’ve got shit to do, if you make plans the least you can do is keep them.

But now that Kanye has been a Christian for all of six months, he’s starting to be a real misogynist asshole about it, which is honestly unsurprising. Converts to religion, especially recent converts, tend to be absolutely insufferable about it compared to people who are raised in a religion, to the extent that religious terrorists tend to be converts.

Just for starters, Kanye, who produced the Pornhub awards last year, basically called his wife a whore for looking sexy, the thing about her that he couldn’t stop talking about when they started dating, because it reflects poorly on him as a Christian.

Kanye wasn’t done, though, as he then went in on everyone’s favorite thing, porn. Kanye, man, leave porn alone, it never did anything to anyone. In fact, Psychology Today says studies show that watching porn makes you less sexist, less homophobic and less religious, all of which are great things to be.

He also reportedly asked the crew working with him Jesus is King not to have premarital sex, something that is none of Kanye West’s fucking business.

Kanye has always been eccentric, by which I mean he’s an asshole. But he used to be a lovable asshole when he was interrupting Taylor Swift or pointing out how George Bush doesn’t care about black people. Taylor Swift and George Bush both kind of suck. But porn and premarital sex? Well, you may as well just attack mom and apple pie. We miss the old Kanye. You’ve gone through these phases of various types of stupidity before, please stop this one before you end up making an album with some Christian Rock band with a ridiculous name like Switchfoot or Jars of Clay or Insane Clown Posse.

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Kanye West is Getting Dumber, Says God Gave Him $68 Million

Remember when Kanye West wasn’t an idiot? Yeah, neither do I, but remember when he was at least right when he would risk his career on being Kanye? Kanye basically hasn’t been right about anything since he said George W Bush doesn’t care about black people, but he’s still out there, in the world, being Kanye, saying whatever ridiculous thing crosses his mind.

Today that means a few things, starting with him thinking God wants him to have nearly $70 million. Here’s what Kanye said on Carpool Karaoke, via Consequence of Sound.

“God is using me to show off,” Kanye exclaimed. “Last year I made $115 million and still ended up $35 million in debt. This year I looked up and I just got $68 million returned to me on my tax returns.”

“People need to hear [from] someone that has been put into debt by the system, talk about these type of numbers now that they’re in service to Christ.”

Yeah, he actually said that, and it’s not even the dumbest thing he said in the past day. Now, I don’t believe in God, but you might, and if you do, here’s what he said about Kanye West getting a $68 million tax rebate In Matthew 19:23-24

Then said Jesus unto his disciples, Verily I say unto you, That a rich man shall hardly enter into the kingdom of heaven. And again I say unto you, It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God.

How neat is it that they numbered every sentence in the Bible so you can just go right to things like that?

But remember when I said Kanye thinking God have him $68 million for being a good boy wasn’t even the dumbest thing he said today? Here’s the dumbest thing Kanye said today, as reported by Page Six.

“We’re [black Americans] brainwashed out here, bro. Come on, man. This is a free man talking. Democrats had us voting [for] Democrats with food stamps for years,” Yeezy said when asked about those who think he has turned his back on the black community.

“What are you talking about? Guns in the ’80s, taking the fathers out the home, Plan B, lowering our votes, making us abort our children … Thou shall not kill,” he continued.

Kanye West doesn’t care about black people.

These are just the same neoconservative “pull yourself up by your bootstraps” talking points Republicans have been shitting out since William F. Buckley got embarrassed on national TV by Gore Vidal. Kanye West risked his career to challenge George W Bush after Hurricane Katrina and now he’s out there just parroting George W Bush’s talking points.

At the end of the day, Kanye loves attention more than anything, including his wife and children. So when the whole country was kissing George Bush’s ass Kanye came out swinging for him. Now that Trump is unpopular and the dominant culture leans left, Kanye is a Christian Trump supporter who slut-shames his wife on her TV show. Because negative attention is still attention.

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Kanye West’s ‘Jesus Is King’ Album Finally Dropped

So you can stop with the jokes now.

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Kanye West’s Sunday Service Covers Nirvana

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Kanye West is Slowly Turning Into Creed

Kanye West has always been a bit of a weirdo, but I always liked the way he loved Kanye West more than anyone else has ever loved anything else. You know, that and when he said George W Bush doesn’t care about black people. That was awesome, it was his dopest beat.

But now he’s gotten all Jesusey and it’s weird. For starters, he’s been leading church services. I thought that he was inviting people to worship him, but it’s kind of weird that it’s about worshiping Him.

Then he named his new album Jesus is King.

He looks like a little kid wearing his dad’s shirt on the album cover, too.

Kanye named his child Psalm West. This is such a dumb name even Kendall Jenner couldn’t hold her tongue about it, telling Jimmy Fallon “She would not let me leave the house until we figured out a name, and then ended up going with a name that I didn’t even — like, that I didn’t care for as much.” That’s about the mildest criticism you can give on the name of a baby who going to grow up wishing his parents had named him North West instead.

And now Kanye is collaborating with Kenny G because Christian music is invariably crap. Kenny G told Rolling Stone “I can’t really say much else because he doesn’t really want anyone to talk about music before he releases it. Just suffice to say that we’re collaborating on some things, and nobody knows what’s going to happen.”

I mean why not at this point? Is Kenny G going to make a song called ‘Baptized’ on an album called Jesus is Lord any worse? Is anyone going to be sitting around saying “Man, ‘God Is’ was a sick beat until Kenny G came in, that just ruined it.”

Of course not. If anything, maybe he’ll Kenny G all over the place and drown out Kanye’s whole Jars of Clay schtick.

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Taylor Swift Has Her Ass Under 24/7 Surveillance Now

I can’t imagine actually being Taylor Swift. First of all, would I be hot? Kind of depends on the angle, right? Like that woman on Seinfeld Jerry only wanted to take to the diner because that’s the one place the lighting made her look hot. But I digress.

Here’s one reason it’s weird to be Taylor Swift: the most famous moment in VMA history is when Kanye West ran up on stage during her acceptance speech to say Beyoncé should have won instead. It’s probably worth mentioning this is one of the least toxic things a Beyoncé fan has ever done when they felt she was being slighted.

It was still weird enough that Taylor wrote about it in her diary, though, and today we got to see that diary page.

Here’s what that says if you’re having trouble reading it.

Ahh… the things that can change in a week…

Let’s just say, if you had told me Kanye West would have been the number one focus of my week, the media, and my part in the VMA’s I would’ve looked at you crossed eyed. If you had told me I would win the award I was nominated for, I wouldn’t have believed you. If you had told me that one of the biggest stars in music was going to jump up onstage and announce that he thought I shouldn’t have won on live television, I would’ve said “That stuff doesn’t really happen in real life…” Well… apparently… it does.

One of Kanye West’s most on-brand moments, aside from starting his own religion to spread the word of Kanye. You know Aziz Ansari talks about meeting Kanye in his act and when he went to Kanye’s house, Kanye was listening to a Kanye West album.

It’s weird to be Taylor Swift apart from Kanye West, too, because she has to have round-the-clock surveillance of her own ass.

No, you read that right. Remember when Taylor sued the DJ who grabbed her ass and won? Swift told The Guardian that since then, she’s had a camera recording her ass in case someone else gets fresh with her.

She never wanted the assault to be made public. Have there been other instances she has dealt with privately? “Actually, no,” she says soberly. “I’m really lucky that it hadn’t happened to me before. But that was one of the reasons it was so traumatising. I just didn’t know that could happen. It was really brazen, in front of seven people.” She has since had security cameras installed at every meet-and-greet she does, deliberately pointed at her lower half. “If something happens again, we can prove it with video footage from every angle,” she says.

I mean, that’s smart. And looking through that footage wouldn’t be a bad gig. I mean, in the right light.

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Kanye West: Waaah, Liberals Are SUCH Bullies!

Kanye West is a new father.

However, in an interview with David Letterman, the famous rapper goes off once again about those who disagree with his poltiics, basically labeling Liberals as bitter motherf-ckers.

Kanye West on Netflix

West, of course, is an unabashed Donald Trump supporter.

He loves to wear his Make America Great Again and he held court in the Oval Office several months ago.

Kanye has come under fire for these beliefs from critics who think President Trump is a narcissistic, dumb racist -- and he's very annoyed about it!

“This is like my thing with Trump — we don’t have to feel the same way, but we have the right to feel what we feel,” West tells Letterman in a chat that will debut on Netflix on May 31.

He goes on to say that rocking a “Make America Great Again” hat is “not about politics,” but rather an attempt to break the stigma around showing support for Trump.

There's an odd hill to wanna die on, right?

Kanye in the White House

In the discussion, Letterman brings up the Republican-led voter suppression efforts during the recent midterm elections.

“So if I see a person that I admire talking about Donald Trump can think whatever he does,” he says, “I wonder if those thoughts, indirectly, aren’t hurting people who are already being hurt.”

In other words: Donald Trump's policies are having a harmful effect on African-Americans.

Doesn't Kanye realize that his support is therefore contributing to this pain and suffering?

West ignores this question and replies that Trump voters are “treated like enemies of America because that’s what they felt.”

After Letterman makes a case that Trump actually is not helping those who vote for him, that it's just one giant con perpertrated by the President, West shoots back:

“Have you ever been beat up in your high school for wearing the wrong hat?”

Kanye in the Oval

Simply put, he adds:

“Liberals bully people who are Trump supporters!”

It really is pretty sad.

All those Trump supporters want to do is deport foreigners, take away the rights of LGBTQ members and cheer on corruption at the highest level in peace.

Give them a break, Liberals! Leave them alone!

Sleeping on Their Jobs

Elsewhere, Kanye brings up his issues with Drake at one point, although he refuses to mention the artist by name.

We had a little beef last year,” West tells the comedian.

“He has this line that I love that says, ‘I told my story and made history’ - like made his story and made history. That’s what we do, we tell our story and then people relate to that story."

Continues Kanye, sort of on this topic:

“I have a friend who told me that my power is my influence. And I said my power is my ability to not be influenced.”

We're not totally sure what Kanye is talking about here, either.

But check out excerpts from the interview below:

Kanye West May Start His Own Religion, Which is the Most On-Brand Thing Kanye West Has Ever Done

Kanye West gave an Easter sermon at Coachella that got a lot of attention.

Now, I wasn’t at Coachella but I imagine Kanye mostly played it straight, just talking about how he was crucified and rose from the dead three days later and how his father loves us. Standard stuff for Kanye, really.

Apparently Kanye liked being a preacher because of course he did, he’s Kanye West and people were listening to him talk. According to People, Kanye liked it so much he’s considering starting his own church, and his wife, Kim Kardashian-West, supports him.

“Kim is 100 percent on board with this,” the source tells PEOPLE. “She’s a Christian, too, and she understands the importance of being spiritual.”

It’s nice to know you don’t need any sort of theological training to be a Christian minister. I had long suspected this based on, you know, everything I know about religion but it’s great to have actual confirmation that some rapper standing up and talking about Jesus counts as going to church.

The source adds that West has been consulting with spiritual advisors and leaders as he figures out his next move, and says Kardashian will have a role in whatever he does.

“She wouldn’t be a traditional ‘pastor’s wife’ who organizes bake sales,” the source explains. “But she will support him if he ever starts church. She’ll be there for it.”

I predict Kanyeism is going to be the fastest growing religion in the United States by the end of the year, replacing the current fastest-growing religion, which is atheism. People love celebrities and are willing to do whatever stupid shit they say. Don’t believe me? Jenny McCarthy and Gwyneth Paltrow, two celebrities no one even really gives a shit about said vaccines were bad and now there are measles outbreaks all over the country. So you ma as well just buckle up and get ready for Pope Yeezus.

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You Can Watch Kanye’s Sunday Service Live Through a Peephole

Celebrate Yeezus on stream here.

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Kanye West Says He’ll Perform During Weekend 2 of Coachella for Easter Sunday

Kanye West is doing a weekly concert series called “Sunday Service”. In it, Kanye will be performing his hits with a gospel choir and special guests which have included Kid Cudi, Katy Perry and David Letterman. He’s also debuted new music during the series. As for what Sunday Service is about, speculation is he wants to start the Church of Kanye where he’ll give people another reason to worship at his feet.

Anyway, on Sunday, Kanye tweeted he’s bringing Sunday Service to Coachella. But before you get too excited, it’s going to only be on Easter Sunday on Weekend 2 at 9 a.m. in the morning.

Did you hear that? That’s the sound of thousands of Weekend 1 ticket holders sobbing uncontrollably through their hipster shades and rushing to Facebook to post “Looking to trade Weekend 1 tickets for Weekend 2 tickets.”

Kanye was slated to headline this year’s Coachella, but Goldenvoice refused to build a giant dome for Kanye who claimed their current stage was too limiting.

Also, today is March 31, so I’m not sure whether this is a prank or not. If it is a prank, I’m going to have to please ask Kanye not to tell anyone until all the Weekend 1 people exchange tickets for Weekend 2.

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Kim Kardashian To Khloe: Stop Banging Basketball Players! Find Yourself a Rapper!

Big sis Kim Kardashian is so done watching Khloe get her heart broken and is ready to turn around her pretty pathetic love life. 

After her split with the most hated man in the world, Tristan Thompson, Kim is begging her sister to finally switch up her dating type.

Taking a Call

The fashion queen was over the Cleveland Cavalier's player a long time ago, after the first time he did the dirty behind Koko's back.

But now Kim is so over him that she is over every single athlete who has ever existed. EVER. 

Khloe is a newly single woman, but Kim and husband Kanye West are ready to fix her up with a new man. 

One that doesn't shoot hoops or dribble balls for a living. 

New Cavs Photo

HollywoodLife has learned that the married couple would love to play matchmaker for Khloe and they think they have what it takes to find her true love, the kind of love that doesn't screw your little sister's best friend

"Kim wants Khloe to stay far away from athletes and go for an artist the next time, preferably someone in the music business," shared a Kardashian insider.

"Just look at how well it has worked out for Kim. She is so happy she stopped dating the jocks, and giving Kanye a chance was the best choice ever."

Kim and Kanye at the VMAs

Kim is trying to lead the way for her sister and is more than ready to help in her search. 

"Kim knows a ton of people through Kanye and has already offered to get him to help," the source added. 

"Kanye and Kim both want to see Khloe happy and in love, and want to set her up with a musician."

However, we are sure Khloe is in no hurry to rush back into the dating scene. Besides, she is way too busy focusing on her main priority, her adorable daughter True

Khloe and Kim on KUWTK

"Kim isn't pushing Khloe to date right away and definitely doesn't want to see her rush into anything, but at the same time, she is eager to see her get Tristan Thomspon out of her system and move on," the source says. 

As I'm sure the world can agree. 

It's only been about a month since the couple split back in February and she is still working on how to handle all of her emotions. 

Khloe Kardashian Poses

"Khloe's anger and hurt is still very fresh and it's helping her let go of Tristan, but there is certainly some concern that he could find a way to get her back, the insider shared. 

"He's very charming and Khloe's feelings for him go deep."

Taking Khloe's past boyfriends into consideration, especially including her ex-husband and basketball star Lamar Odom, it's pretty obvious she definitely has a thing for professional sports players

Kim Kardashian, Khloe Kardashiand Lamar Odom Launch Kardashian Kollection Handbags

Kim is ready for a man who will treat her sister with the respect we all know she deserves.

And basically it's a simple fix: steer clear of NBA players! 

I mean Kim's advice is valid. We all, unfortunately, remember when Kim's marriage to NBA player Kris Humphries, which lasted approximately 70 days.

Kris Humphries and Kim Kardashian: A Night of Style & Glamour in New York

Or the time Kim was basically inseparable from NFL player Reggie Bush.

She's definitely had her fair share of athletes and is hoping she can convince the 34-year-old mom to cold turkey her craving for dumb, tall sportsmen. 

"Kim hates seeing Khloe suffer and feels that all her heartache could be avoided if she would pick better guys," the insider stated. 

Khloe's Photoshop Fail

She has been "through the bad choices herself so she is very sympathetic and very eager to help Khloe overcome this and find a good guy that she can build a life with."

We expect the forecast to call for some brighter days here soon for Khloe, but hope it will also be raining some super unathletic men. 

Someone a little more like Scott Disick, perhaps?

Kim Kardashian & Kanye West: Banned From The Voice Set!

John Legend joins The Voice for the sixteenth season as a coach AND he's already off to somewhat of a rocky start.

While Legend has been a guest and a mentor on the show multiple times, it's now his turn to decide who will be the perfect mentor for #TeamJL.

And his pick... Kanye West! 

Kanye West and Kim Kardashian for Versace

I mean, it's not shocking that Legend would think of West.

They are pretty good pals, despite their political differences, and have been friends for years.

His friendship with West even helped land him a record deal with Columbia Records back in 2004.

John Legend and Kanye West

So, yeah, the two have some history.

But, we all know their wives, Kim Kardashian and Chrissy Teigen's friendship might be even closer... 

The foursome is often spotted hanging out together and even went on a couple's vacation to San Francisco recently.

Kim Kardashian, Kanye West, John Legend Chrissy Teigen

Also, the fact that West and Legend have recorded together in the past makes him an eligible candidate. 

However, according to Radar Online, when the three other returning coaches, which include Kelly Clarkson, Blake Shelton and Adam Levine heard about this they quickly shared their concerns with the "higher-ups" of the show. 

An insider shared, "Kanye has just caused too many problems in his personal life and endeavors lately and they just feel that it would be best if him and Kim stayed away from the show for John's first season." 

It's Your Call, But...

Guess that means Kim can't hang with bestie Chrissy backstage. 

"John has been bringing Chrissy to set and everyone gets along with the both of them just fine. He has a big head and he is definitely trying to win, but they are all in it to win it," a source tells Radar.

"Everyone thinks he just needs to calm down and relax because he is getting himself all psyched out over this. It is really just the luck of the draw as to who hits the buzzer first for the person that is meant to win."

Adam and Blake on The Voice

Hmm, tell that to Adam and Blake who are constantly in a 'friendly' competition with one another throughout the whole show. 

The singer told Hollywood Reporter that he is "thrilled to join the coaches of The Voice" and that he is excited to "discover talented singers and help them make the most of their gift."

And with or without the Wests, John will get to do just that. 

The Voice premieres Monday, February 25, on NBC. 

The Game Details How Kim Kardashian Choked on His Kids

The Game is a very, um, descriptive rapper for lack of a better word. His new album Born to Rap is set to drop and some lyrics have surfaced. He name drops Kim Kardashian and Kanye West. Not really in a good way.

“I held Kim Kardashian by her throat, n**ga!,” Game scathingly spits on the track. “I made her swallow my kids until she choked, n**ga!/ I should apologize cuz ‘Ye my folks, n**ga!…”

The Game is like a painter with words. As to how true this may be, he did imply he slept with two of the Kardashians and one of them probably was Kim. I’m not sure how Kanye is going to feel about this. He did jerk off to Kim Kardashian’s sex tape with Ray J before they met. On the other hand, call me old fashioned, but imagining my wife choking on another man’s dick really kills the mood.

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Kanye West Really Wants Someone to Build Him a Giant Dome

Kanye West could have been the headliner at this year’s Coachella, but there was one problem: the festival organizers wouldn’t completely redesign the layout of the venue to accommodate a giant dome Kanye wanted them to build for him because the main stage, one of the largest in North America, wasn’t big enough for him according to Billboard.

When senior executives from Coachella parent Goldenvoice explained that the dome would be impossible to build in four months and would require the AEG-owned concert promoter to rearrange the entire festival site and remove a large section of portable bathrooms, West became irritated, declaring that he was an artist with a creative vision who shouldn’t be spending his time talking about port-a-potties.

A source tells Billboard that West had taken the call while on vacation with his family and said it was Goldenvoice’s responsibility to deal with the bathrooms. He then hung up abruptly, sources said.

This is apparently not just a one-time thing, this is Kanye’s “no brown M&Ms.” Kanye cancelled at least one other show because they refused to build him a giant dome.

Billboard has learned that West was close to landing a headliner slot at Governors Ball in New York, only to have promoters turn down his last-minute dome request and part ways a day before the lineup was announced.

I’ve been thinking about why Kanye wants this giant dome so much, and here’s what I’ve landed on: he wants to fight Drake to the death in it. It’s going to be Thunderdome for the world’s least-intimidating rappers. “Two softboys enter, one softboy leaves!”

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Beyonce Killed Future Coachellas

I’m not saying Beyonce ruined Coachella for all future Coachellas, but Beyonce ruined Coachella for all future Coachellas.

In 2017, Beyonce Knowles was scheduled to headline Coachella. Her highly anticipated performance was sidetracked by a little thing called a pregnancy. A year passed, she popped out her twins and was again scheduled to headline Coachella. This time, Jay Z had the courtesy not to put more babies in her.

The hype from 2017 only compounded in 2018. And when it came time for Beyonce to perform, she delivered. The production was beyond what anyone expected. It set a record breaking 458,000 simultaneous stream viewers on YouTube. She got people to actually choose to sit home and watch someone perform at a festival. Go to any site and you’ll find a recap about the cultural imagery used, the sort of return of Destiny’s Child or how it “slayed”. Stay here if you want a hot take on how 2019’s Coachella and any future ones will always be a letdown.

I’m not saying future Coachellas will suck. I’m saying the anticipation her performance built up and the fact she delivered has set the mark so high that no one is going to be able to reach it. Add to the fact non-Beyonce fans could check out X Japan, the first Japanese band to play Coachella, and it may seem Coachella had peaked.

There was a chance this year of Coachella could bring similar levels of hype with Kanye. But Kanye wouldn’t perform without a bigger stage because they “restrict his artistic ability.” Meanwhile, Justin Timberlake pulled out because of scheduling conflicts. So now you have Childish Gambino, Tame Impala and Ariana Grande headlining Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Good, but not great.

Childish Gambino is 2018’s symbol for wokeness while Ariana Grande talked about Pete Davdison’s big dick for an entire month before ending their engagement. Tame Impala is just, well, Tame Impala. None of these acts bring two decades of history with them. In fact, Ariana Grande was only 11 when “Say My Name” was released. Plus, she’s playing Sunday. A day when everyone is burnt out and ready to head home.

The only way Coachella can top Beyonce’s 2018 performance is if they booked a Kanye West b2b with Taylor Swift. And they gave him a bigger stage. One where he can descend from the heavens as god intended.

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Kanye West to Twitter: Stop Following My Wife on Instagram!

We probably don't need to tell that Kanye West has had quite a year.

And to be clear, we don't mean that in a good way. At all.

Classic Kimye

Whether he was describing slavery as a choice or fantasizing about playing catch with Donald Trump, Yeezy found new and interesting ways to baffle and infuriate the masses in 2018.

West swore off politics back in October, but that doesn't mean he's done being bonkers on social media.

No, these past few weeks, Kanye has been devoting his attention to a bizarre feud with Drake.


Although we're not sure if "feud" is the right word, as it seems to be a pretty one-sided fixation on Kanye's part.

Anyway, it's always a dangerous game guessing what's going on in Kanye's head, but as far as we can tell, the rapper's final (?) tirade of 2018 is a result of his ongoing anger toward Drizzy.

It all started with this all-time bonkers tweet.

Yeezy Tweet

Either that's a reference to the rumors that Drake had sex with Kim Kardashian, or Kanye really doesn't understand his wife's career, and that comment is directed at all of Twitter.

Either way, with that, he was off.

Kanye's tweets ranged from the vaguely threatening ("See when you care about your family you don’t let no man push you to do nothing that could risk your freedom") to the amusingly asinine ("Tweeting is legal and also therapeutic").

Kimye and Company

As far as we can tell, dude remains deeply pissed at Drake, but there was also a healthy dose of his usual pseudo-spiritual mumbo-jumbo in there as well.

What does it all mean?

Well, we doubt even Kanye himself could tell you.

Kimye at Home

Whatever the case, it's a reminder that you can safely anticipate even more insanity from hip-hop's most unstable artist in 2019.

As a send-off for his most memorable year yet, Kanye concluded today's rant with this nugget of wisdom:

"If I got any cooler I would freeze to death."

Carry that energy into the new year, folks.