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Beauty Influencer Coke Carrigan ‘Apologizes’ For Claiming He Slept with Kanye West

If I had sex with Kanye West, I would really not want anyone to know. I’m surprised Kim Kardashian hasn’t implied she had her kids with someone else yet, just to distance herself from Kanye. Like, I don’t know, Frank Sinatra maybe.

For some reason, Coke Carrigan seems to want everyone to believe that he had an affair of a sexual nature with Kanye, though.

See, Kanye’s former bodyguard threatened to sue Carrigan over allegations that he helped Kanye and Carrigan carry out an illicit relationship, so Carrigan apologized, as reported by Page Six.

“In order to for me to stay out of court and not get sued, I have to issue an apology to Mr. West and Kim Kardashian West,” the TikToker says in the clip. “So hi, Kim, if you’re watching this, I am so sorry, I honestly did this for the simple fact that your husband voted for Trump, and we simply can’t have that clownery in America, so you’re welcome.”

He then says, “Second of all, I hope this doesn’t ruin the chances of me getting on the KKW p.r. list, because I’ve been dying for those contour sticks.” KKW is Kardashian’s beauty line, which recently closed a $200 million deal with Coty.

Kanye West fans will note that Kanye West didn’t ever vote for Donald Trump, and the only person Kanye West has ever voted for is Kanye West.

Maybe it’s just me, but Carrigan doesn’t sound all that contrite. It sounds like he wants us all to think he had sex with Kanye West. I don’t know if he did or not, my gut says that he didn’t.

It’s a very strange thing to lie about for clout, though. No one is really going to pat you on the head for sleeping with Kanye West, you’re just going to have to respond to “Really?” every time you walk into a room. Maybe a few “What were you thinking?”

The post Beauty Influencer Coke Carrigan ‘Apologizes’ For Claiming He Slept with Kanye West appeared first on The Blemish.

Another Male Beauty Influencer Is Claiming to Have Had an Affair With Kanye West

I have very strong doubts that Kanye West is gay and in the closet. If Kanye West were gay, he would not only be out and proud, he would never shut up about how he’s the best at being gay and he’s the most powerful power top ever. He would seriously never stop talking about it.

Still, there are rumors. First the rumor that West was having an affair with Jeffree Star, now Cole Carrigan is claiming to have had an affair with Kanye.

Carrigan showed off Instagram DMs between himself and Kanye’s former bodyguard Steve Stanulis that showed the two setting up a clandestine meeting between Carrigan and West at a hotel.

Now, Stanulis claims the DMs are faked and sent Carrigan a cease-and-desist on the grounds that Carrigan’s claims are defamatory.

If Steve Stanulis sounds like a familiar name, it’s because he had his own legal battles with Kanye and Kim after he went around telling everyone what an asshole Kanye was.

I feel like his reaction to this is a little big, making legal threats and all, and that makes me wonder if there’s actually something to these rumors. But I don’t think Stanulis would go out of his way to help Kanye West, either.

I also don’t think Kanye has enough self-awareness to be a self-loathing closeted gay Christian Republican. Kanye loves Kanye more than anything in the world and I can’t see him actually hiding part of himself because it contradicts with the rest of his beliefs. He’d want the attention the Lil Nas X got and just say that being gay makes him a better Christian than straight people.

The post Another Male Beauty Influencer Is Claiming to Have Had an Affair With Kanye West appeared first on The Blemish.

Did Kanye West Cheat on Kim Kardashian with Jeffree Star?

There are a lot of rumors flying around since the reports that Kanye West and Kim Kardashian are divorcing started rolling in. The most believable is that Kanye being the second-most-unhinged person to run for president in 2020 was the thing that convinced Kim she needed to end things.

Perhaps the least-believable rumor is that Kanye and Kim are separating because Kanye cheated on her with Jeffree Star.

The rumor was started by TikTok star Ava Louise.

@realavalouiise

i can’t say WHO cuz he’ll sue me hint hint but it’s part of the reason Kanye’s so religious now it’s his self hatred …. my source is legit I promiss

♬ original sound – Ava Louise

If she sounds familiar, she’s famous for licking a toilet.

It is, of course, not true. The idea that Kanye found religion and became a conservative because he’s guilty about being a closet gay man is funny, but you’re actually thinking of Lindsey Graham. Kanye West became a conservative because he listened to Candace Ownens, and Owens became a conservative because she and her pro-cancel culture doxxing platform was rejected by liberals.

Star and fellow YouTuber Keemstar had a good laugh about it, too.

But is it really outside the realm of possibility that Kanye West and Jeffree Star are hooking up? Setting aside that there’s no evidence Kanye and Star have ever been in the same room, does anyone believe Jeffree Star would willingly go to Wyoming for any reason?

Would you go to Wyoming? I didn’t think so. That’s all the proof I need that this rumor is just that, a rumor.

The post Did Kanye West Cheat on Kim Kardashian with Jeffree Star? appeared first on The Blemish.

Kim Kardashian is Finally Divorcing Kanye West

In a bit of news that should come as a shock to no one, Page Six is reporting Kim Kardashian has had enough and is divorcing Kanye West because of his Kanye-West-like behavior.

“Kim got Kanye to go up there [Wyoming] so they could live separate lives and quietly get things sorted out to separate and divorce. She’s done,” the source continued.

Turns out that just like everyone in the world knew, “living separate lives” is code for “getting divorced.”

You can probably guess the reason Kim is seeking a divorce.

She is serious about taking the bar exam and becoming a lawyer, she is serious about her prison reform campaign. Meanwhile Kanye is talking about running for president and saying other crazy s–t, and she’s just had enough of it.

Can I divorce Kanye West, too? We’ve all had enough of his antics, right?

Apparently, the big sticking point for the couple is ownership of their Calabasas mansion, which is owned by Kanye but where Kim is raising their kids. Children need a stable environment and they need that environment to not be in Wyoming.

It’s not like Kanye is super keen on saving the marriage either, though.

Meanwhile, a separate source says Kanye, who became increasingly uncomfortable and irritated by the Kardashians’ over-the-top reality star lives, “Is completely over the entire family … He wants nothing to do with them,” adding he eventually found their reality show “unbearable.”

I get how that would be an issue, it’s not like Kim had been doing a reality show for seven years when she and Kanye got married or anything.

Kanye West married someone who was famous for having a sex tape and being friends with Paris Hilton and then he found Jesus and expected her to go along with all his Jesusey nonsense and dress like a nun or whatever and Kim clearly wasn’t having it. Kanye feels like he’s the victim because that is how Kanye West feels when someone doesn’t do what Kanye West wants them to do.

I think everyone saw this coming when West started leading prayer services, and if not then definitely when he started complaining that Kim dressed too sexy.

Seriously, who among us could make a relationship with Kanye West work?

The post Kim Kardashian is Finally Divorcing Kanye West appeared first on The Blemish.

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West Separation: Confirmed by E! News

We know you've heard this before.

Many times in recent months, in fact.

But we can assure you of the following:

You've never heard it from such a reliable source.

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West in Good Ole Days

Following an endless array of rumors about the marriage between Kim Kardashian and Kanye West coming to an end... none other than E! News is now confirming these reports.

Yes, the same company/network/outlet that airs Keeping Up with the Kardashians.

And the same company/network/outlet that would never -- EVER! -- run such a scoop unless it was both accurate -- and also vetted by Kris Jenner and members of her family.

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West Reminisce in Black and White

Stated the official E! website late on Tuesday:

After six years of marriage and more than eight years together, the E! reality TV star and rapper are going their separate ways.

"It's gotten to the point where they haven't spent time together as a married couple in months," a source tells E! News.

"They've seen each other for the sake of the kids but have been living separately. Kim knows the marriage is over. She's known for a while."

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West Outside

For the official record, however, Kim is yet to file for divorce.

Kim and Kanye went public with their relationship in April 2012 and share four children together: North West, 7, Saint West, 5, Chicago West, 2, and Psalm West, 20 months.

It is because of these young boys and girls that Kardashian is patiently weighing her legal options.

"She wants to make sure she's making the right decision for the kids," the E! source adds.

Kim and Yeezus

Tension has very clearly existed between Kardashian and West since this past summer.

As part of his campaign for the Presidency, Kanye exposed such personal tidbits as the fact that he wanted to abort North West when he first learned his now-wife was pregnant.

It got to the point where Kardashian even issued her first-ever statement about her husband's mental health.

In July, she asked folks for "compassion" in the wake of Kanye's ongoing mental breakdown, referencing West's bipolar order and stating:

"Those who are close with Kanye know his heart and understand his words sometimes do not align with his intentions."

Kim and Kanye Call It Quits

Since back then, however, Kardashian has kept her space from West.

She's been living in Los Angeles with her sons and daughters, while the rapper has mostly been in Wyoming at his ranch.

Continues E! in its shocking confirmation:

"It's not about the marriage anymore, she'll always care for Kanye but it's over between them. Kim is only focused on what's best for the kids. It's a tough decision for her and she's figuring it out."

Kimye 2020

Other often-reliable sources are also now reporting that this union is over.

“They are keeping it low-key but they are done,” claims a new Page Six article. “Kim has hired [divorce lawyer] Laura Wasser and they are in settlement talks.”

Kardashian has not been wearing her wedding ring for quite awhile, this newspaper continues.

“Kim got Kanye to go up there [Wyoming] so they could live separate lives and quietly get things sorted out to separate and divorce. She’s done,” iits source adds.

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West in Better Days

West himself Tweeted the following in July:

“I been trying to get divorced since Kim met with Meek at the Warldolf [sic] for ‘prison reform."

He was seemingly referring here to a criminal justice summit attended by Kim and rapper Meek Mill in November 2018.

And Page Six alleges that Kim's committment to prison reform, her decision to use her platform for societal good at last, is a major reason behind this split.

Kanye West and Kim Kardashian West

Reports the outlet:

“She is serious about taking the bar exam and becoming a lawyer, she is serious about her prison reform campaign.

"Meanwhile Kanye is talking about running for president and saying other crazy s–t, and she’s just had enough of it.”

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West in 2019

Remember Kim’s ridiculously extravagant $1 million-plus 40th birthday in Tahiti last October? When she rented out a private island for her loved ones?

Kanye showed up for just one day.

Writes The New York Post:

“He showed up late and left early, he wouldn’t appear in any of their Instagram shots. All he did was bring over the hologram of her father Robert Kardashian, then got out of there as fast as he could." 

A Kiss for Kim

Finallly, People Magazine says Kim is "preparing to divorce" the artist.

"He knows that she’s done," reports this well-respected publication, concluding:

"She has had enough, and she told him that she wants some space to figure out her future.

"He’s okay. He’s sad, but okay. He knows the inevitable will happen, and he knows that it’s coming soon."

It Sounds a Lot Like Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are Seperated

People have been saying Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are on the brink of divorce since about a week after they got married, and I’m pretty sure all of those people have been right. At this point, I think Kim and Kanye just aren’t getting divorced out of stubbornness. We’ve all seen Kanye West and realized that amount of time you could reasonably stay married to him is about a day.

While Kim and Kanye refuse to get it over with and get divorced, they do appear to be separated, according to People.

After weathering a tumultuous summer, Kim Kardashian West and Kanye West are still together — though a source says they “very much live separate lives” currently.

“Kim has work and projects that are important to her, and Kanye has his,” the source tells PEOPLE. “Their lives don’t overlap much.” (A rep for Kardashian West, 40, had no comment when reached by PEOPLE, and a rep for West, 43, did not respond to PEOPLE’s request for comment.)

Still, the source says “Kim seems happy” and is “very focused on work and causes.”

Kim’s work and causes are mostly prison reform, a cause that has been gaining in popularity with the public who have historically only wanted to make prisons worse. Even for them, the for-profit prison model is a bridge too far.

The post It Sounds a Lot Like Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are Seperated appeared first on The Blemish.

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West: Barely Still Together, Source Claims

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are still husband and wife.

This is literally and legally true.

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West in Better Days

But are they in love? Are they committed?

Is this a relationship that will truly stand the test of time?

With insiders alleging that Kimye remains on the verge of divorce, People Magazine has published a new report that basically backs up this alarming yet inevitable assertion.

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West Reminisce in Black and White

Simply put, the rapper and the reality star are living "separate lives," according to this typically-reliable publication.

"Kim has work and projects that are important to her, and Kanye has his," a source tells this outlet, adding:

"Their lives don't overlap much."

Kim Kardashian and Kanye in 2019

The famous couple has been on a roller coaster for most of 2020, ever since Kanye announced his failed Presidential run and went public with various details of his relationship.

Most infamously and notoriously, West said he wanted to abort daughter North West after he learned Kardashian was pregnant many years ago.

West hasn't said very much since he lost to Joe Biden, while Kardashian has set her sights on a legitimate political and societal topic.

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West Outside

She spoke out strongly, for example, in the wake of Brandon Bernard being executed this week.

"She strongly believes she can make a change when it comes to prison reform," this same People source says of the mother of four, who is studying to become an attorney.

"This is her passion," the anonymous individual says of Kardashian's justice reform advocacy. "Her family is very proud of her."

For good reason, to be honest.

Kim and Yeezus

Kim has made quite a few missteps along the way, most recently hosting a birthday party on a private island amid a deadly pandemic.

But prison reform? Battling against the death penalty?

Even if you disagree with Kardashian on these subjects, you must admire her for trying to use her platform to influence causes in which she belives.

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West in 2019

Kanye, conversely, actually ran for President of the United States this year... without actually taking a stance on anything of substance.

Hence why there's pretty evident tension between the spouses, who are parents to the following children:

Daughters North, 7, and Chicago, 3; as well as sons Saint, 5, and Psalm, 18 months.

Kim on Keeping Up With the Kardashians

Will Kim and Kanye ever get divorced? We strongly doubt it.

But their honeymoon phase ended ages ago.

They are evidently only sticking together now for the sake of their kids and/or for the positive PR that comes with a successful marriage.

Successful in air quotes, of course.

The Kanye Stare

Kardashian, in July, publicly touched on her husband's bipolar disorder diagnosis in a lengthy statement, asking fans for "compassion." 

She most recently posted about the couple's relationship in a Nov. 22 Instagram post.

"Happy 10 year anniversary to Kanye's 'My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy' album," she wrote, citing the artist's smash hit album.

Kim Kardashian 2020 Bikini Pics

There's still love between the two a decade later, and she wants to make sure we know it.

Kim kontinues:

"For those that don't know the story behind 'Lost In The World' .. .Kanye couldn't come up with some of the lyrics but then realized he had them in a poem he had written me that was my birthday card he gave me for my 30th birthday."

"He took the poem he wrote me and made it the song," she continued.

"I keep everything!"

Kardashians Left Off List of Most Powerful Women: We’re Billionaires, You Bishes!

When it comes to wealth and fame, few families can top the Kardashians (sure, there are the Trumps, but Donald is $400 million in debt, which is not very baller).

However, it seems that power is a different matter entirely.

All of the Kards

Forbes magazine released its annual World's Most Powerful Women list this week, and it seems that not a single name from the entire Kar-Jenner clan appears anywhere on the list of 100 movers and shakers.

Granted, the list dominated by politicians and CEOs -- as it probably should be -- but plenty of celebrities made the cut, as well.

Rihanna and Beyonce were both included, as was the Queen of All Media, Oprah Winfrey.

Rihanna Dazzles on Instagram

The list is topped by the likes of Angela Merkel and Kamala Harris, so perhaps it was foolish for the members of the Kard clan to believe they would be included.

But you know they thought that at least one of them would earn a spot.

And now that they've been thoroughly snubbed, you can bet that their reaction to being left out is downright Trumpian.

Kim Kardashian Party Pic

Although to be fair, there's actually some basis for the theory that the Kards might be the victims of a conspiracy theory.

After all, Kim and company have been beefing with the folks at Forbes for much of 2020.

It all started when Kylie Jenner was named the world's youngest self-made billionaire back in 2019.

Kylie Wrap

It was Forbes that bestowed that title upon her, but in an unprecedented move, the editors reversed their decision this year and reported that they had been duped by misleading figures.

The magazine now claims that Kylie is not a billionaire and never was, and they even suggested that she lied about her net worth.

Forbes has yet to re-confer billionaire status upon Kylie, even after she sold 51 percent of her makeup company for $1.2 billion back in January.

Kylie Jenner Has Thighs

However, Forbes did declare Kanye West a billionaire, but the rapper and sneaker mogul claims the magazine dramatically underestimated his net worth.

Kanye claims he's worth somewhere in the neighborhood of $3 billion, while the magazine puts him at just over $1 billion.

Of course, either way, this means that Kim is a billionaire who is married to a billionaire, and it seems like that would be enough to earn her a spot on the Forbes 100.

Kylie Jenner: Cleavage In the Woods

And it's not just money that makes Mrs. West a juggernaut, either.

Kim helped secure presidential pardons for numerous non-violent offenders who had been locked up for life, and she's currently hard at work on becoming a lawyer.

If that's not power, we don't know what is!

Kim Kardashian's Booty

But for whatever reason, it seems it just wasn't in the cards for her this year.

Perhaps it was the stigma associated with the Kardashian name, or maybe the family's intense feud with the magazine played a role.

Sadly, unlike Trump, the Kardashians are unable to demand a recount.

You know Kanye would be in court over this if he had any legal recourse at all.

Kanye West May Leave America Entirely Since He Can’t Be President

Every year, a lot of Americans threaten to leave the country if their preferred candidate doesn’t win the presidential election, and yet very few of them do. There was no mass exodus of Hollywood stars under George W. Bush or Donald Trump, and no migration of country music stars when Barack Obama won.

There is one celebrity I believe might be sincere in his desire to leave the country over his preferred candidate not winning the election, though: Kanye West. Kanye has just the spoiled “take my ball and go home” that he may actually be serious when he says he wants to leave the country because we were all too dumb to see the genius in his platform of making kids pray in school in clear violation of the First Amendment and being Kanye West. Those were essentially the only two things in his entire platform because let’s be realistic, Kanye West doesn’t understand economics or international relations at all.

And I am not talking hypothetically here, either; OK! Magazine is reporting that Kanye is seriously threatening to leave the country because “he doesn’t understand what went wrong and he wants out because we don’t deserve him.”

Now, to be fair to Kanye, he didn’t actually expect to win, according to OK’s source; the theory that he was trying to be a spoiler and siphon votes from Joe Biden turned out to be correct, and Kanye thought Trump would reward him with a cabinet position for delivering the presidency.

Kanye’s problem is he thought millions of people would vote for him, but only about 60,000 people did and he finished behind Gloria la Riva of the Party for Socialism and Liberation, who I considered voting for, though I ultimately went with Green Party candidate Howie Hawkins, who received more than five times as many votes as Kanye despite some pretty underhanded maneuvers by the Democrats to keep the Greens off the ballot in several states.

One of the reasons West performed so poorly is that Gloria la Riva, Howie Hawkins and even Jo Jorgensen understand government and how things work. Hawkins introduced the term “Green New Deal,” which you may have heard supported by prominent politicians like Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and Bernie Sanders. Kanye West’s most notable accomplishment is marrying the reality TV lady with the big ass.

And even she thinks he’s an idiot.

“There is no way Kim [Kardashian] and the kids are moving to a new country, because her husband’s feeling were hurt,” a Kardashian source tells OK!. “Kim is used to these outbursts and finds ignoring them is the best way to handle him. After a while Kanye gets distracted by something else and moves on, which is a good thing because Kanye is nota good loser.”

That’s like how you handle a toddler. It’s kind of hilarious we currently have two giant babies stamping their feet and refusing to accept their utter rejection by the American people, especially when only one of them realistically had a chance at being president. Three if you count Amber Heard saying millions of people are being paid to not like her online.

The post Kanye West May Leave America Entirely Since He Can’t Be President appeared first on The Blemish.

Kanye West Cancelled a Jimmy Kimmel Appearance, Apparently Because he Lost the Election

Kanye West really thought he was going to be the next President of the United States. I was positive that his whole run for office was just an excuse for new branded Kanye West merchandise but he actually thought that he was going to be President. I mean, I guess if Donald Trump can do it for four years anyone can. Literally anyone. Seriously, just grab someone off the street, are they going to do worse? But I digress.

Kanye was scheduled to be on Jimmy Kimmel Live Wednesday night but backed out, apparently because he lost the election. Here’s what Kimmel said about it via USA Today.

“The day after the election, we’ll be joined in studio by maybe the next president of the United States, Kanye West,” Kimmel said during Monday’s episode. “Oh, he canceled?… Kanye West canceled moments ago, so he won’t be here. But I’ll be here.”

Kimmel quipped, “We’ll try to get one of the other presidents to come in.”

I love this story so much I want to put it my stand mixer, whip it until it comes to soft peaks and serve it on a homemade apple pie.

You really have to step back and consider what Kanye’s cancellation really means here. A normal person would go on, tell a few jokes and advertise that he had some new merch coming soon having booked the appearance knowing he wasn’t going to win, but Kanye actually thought he was going to go on Jimmy Kimmel and celebrate being the President-Elect.

I long to be as detached from reality as Kanye West. The man threw together a campaign at the last minute, was only on the ballot in a handful of states because of this and at his only campaign rally he broke down crying and told everyone he and his wife almost aborted their oldest child. Still, he really, honestly thought that because he was Kanye West, all he had to do was say he wanted to be President and it would magically manifest itself for him because that’s basically how everything else in Kanye West’s life has worked.

I cannot stress the extent to which I cannot stop laughing at this information.

The post Kanye West Cancelled a Jimmy Kimmel Appearance, Apparently Because he Lost the Election appeared first on The Blemish.

In Stunning Upset, Kanye West Will NOT be the Next President of the United States

As I’m writing this late Wednesday night, we don’t yet know who won the Presidential election as several key states have not finished counting their votes. This wouldn’t be an issue if we didn’t have an antiquated and frankly insane system for electing the President and instead just elected our leader by popular vote. But I digress.

While we don’t know who has won, we do know who hasn’t won, and that’s Kanye West. Kanye is 43 years old and announced that he cast his first vote ever in his life for himself because he has clearly never been able to see past his own nose.

Some people were very mad that Kanye West got 60,000 votes, but those people are idiots because what, do you think Joe Biden would have won Tennessee if not for Kanye West?

Of course, Kanye also promised to keep the grift alive for another four years.

He’s going to have Kanye 2024 merch any day now. 2024Vision.

I actually respect the people who voted Kanye. There’s a million tweets about how they’re dumb or having a laugh but I think a lot of them are saying “You know what, if the two major parties are going to nominate the two worst candidates in our country’s history, I’m just going to vote for a literal clown. F**k you, you want me to vote for a clown, I’ll show you me voting for a fucking clown.”

I actually think it’s good that Kanye is going to be running for president in every election from now on; it gives a baseline for how angry people are at the Democrats and Republicans both doing nothing to help anyone. “How disgusted am I that the Democrats nominated another milquetoast corporate toady and the Republicans managed to yet again find someone even dumber than their last guy? I’m voting for Kanye West, that’s how disgusted I am.” Jesus wept.

The post In Stunning Upset, Kanye West Will NOT be the Next President of the United States appeared first on The Blemish.

Jennifer Aniston: For the Love of God (and Country), Do Not Vote for Kanye!

Jennifer Aniston may have made a name for herself by starring on the sitcom Friends.

But the actress made it very clear on Friday:

She is NOT friends with Kanye West.

Jennifer Aniston Voted

And, you know what?

She doesn't think the rapper would be a very good friend to Americans as their Commander-in-Chief, either.

Like over 52 millions citizens to date, Aniston voted early this afternoon, snapping a handful of photos of herself at the ballot box and then shortly afterward.

She posted these photos on Instagram -- and included with them a detailed and pointed message about the process, the country, the candidates she chose... and Kanye West.

Jennifer Aniston: I Voted!

"#IVOTED for @joebiden and @kamalaharris. I dropped my ballot off, and I did it early," wrote the beloved actress, adding:

"I voted for them because right now this country is more divided than ever. Right now, a few men in power are deciding what women can and can’t do with their own bodies.

"Our current President has decided that racism is a non-issue.

"He has repeatedly and publicly ignored science... too many people have died."

Jennifer Aniston with a  Smirk

Aniston continued along these same themes, sharing her views on various subjects and why she thinks Biden and Harris are best for The United States.

'I urge you to really consider who is going to be most affected by this election if we stay on the track we’re on right now...

"Your daughters, the LGBTQ+ community, our Black brothers and sisters, the elderly with health conditions, and your future kids and grandkids (who will be tasked with saving a planet that our leadership refuses to believe is hurting)."

For those unaware, this election pits Biden against incumbent loon Donald Trump.

Jennifer Aniston at 50

Concluded Aniston in the main part of her post:

"This whole thing isn’t about one candidate or one single issue, it’s about the future of this country and of the world.

"Vote for equal human rights, for love, and for decency."

Mostly fair and reasonable enough, right?

Jennifer Aniston at the Globes

The post-script, however, is the reason why Aniston's single vote, and the caption she associated with it, have since gone viral.

It reads:

PS - It’s not funny to vote for Kanye. I don’t know how else to say it. Please be responsible.

Oh, well. Okay then!

Jennifer Aniston is Smiling

West, of course, really is running for President... in the states for which he's qualified to be on the ballot, that is.

This run thus far has angered his wife because Kanye has used his platform to say he wanted to abort daughter North West and to reveal lots of other personal information as well.

It's also angered millions of his fellow U.S. citizens because it's pretty evident at this point that West doesn't care about winning at all.

He only cares about taking votes away from Joe Biden and, therefore, helping Donald Trump earn a second term.

Kanye West Has Issues

Kanye has not commented on this alleged collusion with the Trump campaign, but he's received assistance from administration operatives.

If you'll recall, West also met with Trump in the Oval Office a couple years ago, something that seemed totally unexpected and insane at the time.

Fast forward to now, though? And all that has transpired since?

And, well, can anything involving Trump be classified as surprising at this juncture?

Amber Rose: Kanye West Has Been Bullying Me For 10 Years!

It's tough to describe how far Kanye West's popularity has plummetted over the past year.

We think the fact that he's currently the least well-liked presidential candidate should tell you just about all you need to know.

Kanye West Has Issues

Kanye has always been "brash" or "bold" or whatever BS-y term his defenders have used to describe him, but in recent months, he's come off more and more of a bully, and his behavior is causing even his most ardent fans to back away.

A recent turning point came when Kanye accused Kim Kardashian of cheating on him during one of his infamous social media meltdowns.

During this same tirade, West attacked Kris Jenner as a white supremacist and slut-shamed Kylie Jenner for posing in Playboy.

Kim and Kanye Call It Quits

For casual fans of the rapper, this all might have come as a shock.

But those who have been following Kanye's career closely know that he has a long history of making abusive comments toward women.

And now, one of his longest-suffering targets is speaking out.

Kanye West Smiles! Wow!

Long before he married Kim, he dated model Amber Rose for several years.

In an infamous 2015 interview, Kanye slut-shamed Rose and claimed that Kim didn't want him because of his association with such a promiscuous woman.

“It’s very hard for a woman to want to be with someone that’s with Amber Rose — I had to take 30 showers before I got with Kim [Kardashian],” he said at the time.

Amber Rose Facial Tattoo

Rose has mostly endured Kanye's abuse quietly, but she spoke out on her own behalf during a recent interview on the No Jumper podcast.

“I don’t know if he says things to make his wife more comfortable, but to slut-shame me and say you needed 30 showers?” Amber said.

"You took me around the world. Since when do you need 30 showers?” she continued.

Amber Rose In 2020

“Even if someone is picking on me, which he has for 10 years. He has picked on me; he has bullied me for 10 years.” 

Rose claimed that Kanye referred to her as a "prostitute" at one of his campaign rallies as recently as this past summer.

“I’m happy. I have an amazing husband. I have two beautiful kids,” she continued.

Amber Rose Forehead Tattoo

“10 years later, just leave me alone,” 

Amber went on to say that she's happy to forgive Kanye's past misconduct, provided he stops insulting her.

“Obviously he comes up in interviews because he’s a big part of why I’m famous," she said.

Kanye in 2020

"I try to give interviews and not shy away, but at the same time, it’s like ‘bro leave me alone.'"\

These days, Rose is in a relationship with Alexander "AE" Edwards.

She welcomed her second child in October of last year.

Amber Rose Says Kanye West Has Been Bullying Her for a Decade

I was in my car today, listening to U2 and reflecting on why it is that people seemingly hate them despite the fact that they objectively rock. I know a big part of it is that people think Bono is a huge asshole, but in a world where Kanye West exists, how much animosity for Bono can you possibly have?

As if to put an exclamation point on my passing thought, when I got home I saw Kanye’s ex Amber Rose talking about what a bully he is in Us Weekly.

“I didn’t soak up anything from him. Me and him are two very different people,” the model, 37, said on the Wednesday, October 21, episode of the “No Jumper” podcast. “I’m a compassionate person. I have empathy. I’m a good person. That’s why people love me. That’s why anybody I’ve ever dated loved me. You can’t really mention anyone that says anything really bad about me — except for him, because I got away.”

The easiest thing in the world for me to believe is that Kanye West is still pissed off that someone dumped him ten years ago and hurt his ego. He totally seems like if he wasn’t rich he’d be a stalker.

“You share two years with someone, you take them around the world, you buy them all the jewelry, you shout out to the world how much you love them and how much fun you have with this person, and then the person decides that this isn’t what they want their life to be,” Rose recalled of her decision to part ways with West. “I opted out. I don’t want my life to be like that. I’m not that type of person. And I don’t know if he says things to make his wife more comfortable, but to slut-shame me and say you needed 30 showers, like, bro, you took me around the world. Since when do you need 30 showers?”

To be fair, Kanye also likes to slut-shame his current wife Kim Kardashian for dressing sexy, he’s just a real asshole.

The SlutWalk founder then called out the Yeezy designer for harping on their split, saying, “He has picked on me for 10 years. He has bullied me for 10 years.”

Calling him “the Yeezy designer” almost feels like something I would do, as if to say his greatest achievement was designing the world’s dumbest-looking shoe.

But yeah, if you take away all the money and fame and the “cute because he’s rich“ off-his-meds episodes here’s the guy you’re left with: the guy who’s still mad his ex dumped him ten years ago even though he’s married to someone famous for being hot and they have four kids together. That’s who Kanye West is.

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Kanye West Spent All Night Celebrating a Fake Poll

It would be pretty embarrassing to be running for President and expose yourself as if having a clue about what’s actually going on in the world to millions of people on social media, don’t you think? I know that you’re wondering if I’m talking about Biden or Trump and really it could have been, but no, today we’re talking about Kanye West.

Kanye excitedly tweeted a video late Tuesday night saying to get the West Wing ready because he was polling so well in Kentucky.

There’s just one little problem, and you may have spotted it: that poll is obviously fake. The most recent legitimate polls of Kentucky show Donald Trump at 58% and Joe Biden at 40%, leaving just 2% undecided or voting for a third party, whereas the poll Kanye saw had Libertarian candidate Jo Jorgensen winning with 36%.

It doesn’t even look like a poll, because what you’re actually seeing is an example election night results page used for testing and with clearly fake results so people don’t claim that “the fix is in” before election night even though we pretty much know who is going to win Kentucky right now anyway.

What I’m saying is you’d have to be completely clueless about politics and a giant narcissist to think you were doing better in Kentucky than both major party candidates combined.

You might think that this would be embarrassing and Kanye would have been like “oh my bad, I thought these were real poll results, I just got a little overexcited and didn’t really think about it,” but only if you had never heard of Kanye West before. What Kanye actually did was continue his victory lap all night.

And into the morning, Kanye retweeted this even after Twitter added a disclaimer explaining it wasn’t poll results.

There’s no such thing as a “precinct voting poll.” Election results are reported by precinct after each polling location closes and tallies their votes.

Kanye did eventually switch to tweeting about the conflict in Armenia, something important to his wife, who is Armenian. It’s a much better use of his platform.

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Kanye West Wants to Trademark ‘God Save America’

There’s a podcast called Pod Save America, run by some of the most insufferable assholes to come out of the lower tiers of the Obama administration. You might have heard of it when your insane, MSNBC-addicted uncle had a fight with your insane, Fox News-addicted aunt at Thanksgiving last year. I don’t recommend it.

I only bring it up because it shows that Kanye West did not think of the phrase “God Save America,” which he trying to trademark and sell on clothes. God save America is a phrase in common enough use that there is are parodies of it.

Celebrities try to trademark things all the time. Cardi B tried to trademark “Okurrr” and was denied while President Trump failed to secure a trademark on “You’re Fired” back when he was a TV game show host. Paris Hilton successfully trademarked the phrase “That’s Hot,” though, so anything can happen. Under that logic, she probably could have trademarked vocal fry and sued the Red Scare podcast, which is greatly superior to Pod Save America, right out of existence.

Look, it should be obvious now that Kanye’s run for President is just Kanye trying to sell more clothes. That’s it. His entire presidential campaign is a brand-building exercise.

It’s not even like Kanye is running to bring attention to some sort of issue. Have you heard how empty is his campaign rhetoric is? It’s like that time Lois ran for mayor on Family Guy.

Of course, Kanye isn’t actually hurting anything by running for President; the idea that he’ll somehow hurt Joe Biden by running is absurd, no one who was going to vote for Joe Biden is going to be swayed to vote for Kanye West instead. He’s just wasting an opportunity to do real good for his community and the entire country on a vanity tour to sell merchandise, that’s all.

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Kanye West Actually Made a Presidential Campaign Commercial

I don’t have a problem with third-party candidates. I’ve actually voted for third-Party candidates in fully half the presidential elections I’ve voted in. That does not change the fact that Kanye West should be nowhere near the office of President of the United States, he hasn’t had a good political opinion since September 2nd, 2005.

Kanye doesn’t sound like that now, he just repeats dumbass talking points he got from idiots like Candice Owens.

Yeah, there’s a reason I’m not voting for him. Despite the fact that Kanye’s run for President is most charitably described as an attempt to sell Kanye for President merch, he’s gone ahead and produced a campaign ad.

You usually have to go to a brand-name Republican for that level of Christofascism barely hidden beneath empty platitudes.

I’m not sure what Kanye is actually trying to accomplish with this run for President; candidates like Jo Jorgensen and Howie Hawkins are trying to build a viable opposition to the two parties we currently have, so while they don’t expect to win and the people voting for them don’t expect them to win, but there’s a purpose to their candidacy. Kanye isn’t trying to build anything except his own personal brand.

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Kanye West’s Run for President Has Reached Its Logical Conclusion: Overpriced Shitty Merch

Someone should have told Kanye West he didn’t have to run for president to sell ugly clothing before he imploded his marriage on the campaign trail. Hell, you’d think that one look at his shoes would tell him people will pay way too much money for the dumbest looking clothing I’ve ever seen in my entire life as long as Kanye puts his name on it.

TMZ reports Kanye has rolled out his campaign’s merch shop just in time for Donald Trump’s dexamethasone buzz to wear off.

That’s his first point and it’s extra dumb, making kids pray to your Christian god and teaching religion is the opposite of free exercise of faith.

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Kim Kardashian Nursed Kanye Through COVID Before He Called Her a White Supremacist on Social Media

The past few months have made a few things exceptionally clear, specifically that Kim Kardashian is a really good person and Kanye West is… not.

You may recall how Kanye decided to run for President and used his campaign to air all his dirty laundry with his wife Kim Kardashian, who we now know has a heart as big as her ass.

Page Six reported on exactly what Kim did for Kanye when he had COVID, and I absolutely wouldn’t hold a campaign rally and tell everyone she considered an abortion if she did that for me.

“Kanye had it way at the beginning, when nobody really knew what was going on,” she told Grazia magazine. “It was so scary and unknown. I had my four babies and no one else in the house to help.”

The star said that she had to change his sheets and help him get out of bed “when he wasn’t feeling good.”

“It was a challenge because it was so unknown,” she said. “Changing his sheets with gloves and a face shield was really a scary time.”

I don’t even remember hearing about Kanye getting COVID, that’s how crazy he was acting all summer. He was acting more outlandish than a global pandemic. That’s impressive even for Kanye West.

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Kim Kardashian Sounds Like She Really Might Divorce Kanye West

Forget anonymous sources for a moment.

Who knows how reliable they can be or if they even exist, right?

Late last week, however, Kim Kardashian herself gave fans a reason to think her marriage to Kanye West might be nearing its end, following weeks and weeks' worth of similar speculation.

Kim Kardashian and Kanye in 2019

"A year from now, everything you’re stressing about won’t mean a thing," Kim relayed via Instagram, passing along a quote that certainly seems pertinent to her ongoing situation.

"Be thankful, smile more, spend more time with family and don’t stress the small things," she added.

"This is our one chance at life. Don’t let anyone or anything take away your happiness."

Pretty much impossible not to analyze these words and the meaning/intention behind them, you know?

cryptic kim quote

Since around the middle point of this summer, Kanye has been campaigning for President by ranting and raving his way through speeches and social media posts.

He first raised a billion eyebrows when he admitted on stage that he wanted to abort his daughter, North, after Kim told him she was pregnant many years ago.

Following this revelation, the artist claimed on Twitter that he had been trying to divorce the mother of his four children -- and also that Kris Jenner was a white supremacist.

Both personal and truly insane stuff.

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West in Better Days

Kim responded by issuing a lengthy statement that asked people to have "compassion" for her husband's bipolar disorder.

It basically admitted Kanye was suffering a mental breakdown.

She hasn't said a lot about their relationship since, but numerous reports have come out about Kardashian considering a divorce from Kanye.

Kim has the whole divorce planned out, but she’s waiting for him to get through his latest episode," an insider told Page Six, for example, in September.

Kim and Kanye Call It Quits

This brings us back to the Instagram Stories quote above.

A year from now, everything you’re stressing about won’t mean a thing.

Might Kim be stressing about her romance and reminding herself that making a clean split would be painful now... but pay dividends down the line when Kanye is out of her life for good?

Kimye 2020

Be thankful, smile more, spend more time with family and don’t stress the small things. This is our one chance at life.

Kardashian may be telling herself here that she doesn't get a do-over.

Life moves too quickly and she needs to make the most of it and, let's face it, does that include being the wife to an unstable narcissist?

Don’t let anyone or anything take away your happiness.

This concluding line doesn't even need an explanation, does it? How many content spouses would write such a thing?

A Kiss for Kim

Kardashian, meanwhile, dropped this gigantiic hint in the wake of close pal Jonathan Cheban appearing on The Wendy Williams Show -- and using the past tense to describe Kim and Kanye's relationship.

It is what it is. They were good. He's Kanye, the guy is a genius," Cheban told the host.

"Geniuses go through things all the time. His brain is on 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. I could never be able to think and go like he does. It's overwhelming.

"There's got to be a certain point where things go AWOL and then you get back."

Kimye: 6 Years!

Perhaps. Perhaps that's how a genius works and acts.

But think about it:

Would you want to be married to this kind of person?

Kim Kardashian Looks Completely Naked In New Photos Taken By Kanye!

Back in July, it seemed certain that Kim Kardashian and Kanye West were headed for divorce.

During a severe bipolar episode, Kanye publicly accused Kim of of cheating on him and threatened to divorce her.

Kimye 2020

It seemed like the sort of scandal the couple wouldn't be able to come back from.

But here we are, just a few months later, and the Wests are back to doing what they do best:

Kim is looking hot on social media, and Kanye is telling her how to dress.

Kim and Yeezus

Yeah, that last part is a little weird, but hey -- it seems to work for them!

Anyway, we think it's safe to say Kim ad Kanye have ironed out their differences -- for the time being at least.

But these two don't celebrate a reconciliation by snacking down on unlimited breadsticks at Olive Garden like a couple of peasants.

Kanye Photographs Kim

No, they collab on a fashion shoot and post the results on Twitter!

They've done this sort of thing before, but the Wests latest shoot was especially well-received.

For one thing, people just seemed happy to see some photo evidence that Kim and Kanye are back together.

Kim Poses For Kanye

On top of that, it seems that at first glance, a lot of folks thought these were nude photos of Kim.

Alas, that's not the case.

Kim is wearing a some sort of one-piece thing that roughly matches her complexion, and the sepia-toned photos do sort of trick your brain into thinking you're looking at something that's NSFW.

Kim Kardashian Poses For Kanye West

"You’re so beautiful OMG," one fan commented on the provocative pics.

"Kanye is so talented," another tweeted.

"So Ye is a genius behind the camera too," a third chimed in.

Kim For Kanye

Someone who knows more about photography than we do would have to confirm or deny that last statement.

Seems to us that the subject of the photos is doing most of the work here.

But hey, we're sure both parties worked together to bring this nude illusion to Twitter.

The Kanye Stare

(Yes, Kim posted the photos on Twitter instead of Instagram, which is a bit strange. Maybe she figured the folks on that hell site needed a break from their constant political quarrelling.)

Anyway, the news that Kim is giving Kanye his 475th second chance doesn't come as too much of a shock.

After all, while he was slandering her and calling Kris Jenner a white supremacist, she was apolgizing on his behalf and explaining to the world that he's a victim of a horrible mental illness.

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West in Better Days

"He is a brilliant but complicated person who on top of the pressures of being an artist and a black man, who experienced the personal loss of his mother, and has to deal with the pressure and isolation that is highlighted by his bipolar disorder," Kim wrote on Instagram at the time.

"Those who are close with Kanye know his heart and understand his words some times do not align with his intentions

Well, Kim might have a son named Saint, but it seems she's the one with the biblical-caliber patience in this family!

Kim Kardashian: On Verge of Breakdown Amid Kanye Divorce Plans

In recent weeks, rumors that Kim Kardashian is preparing to divorce Kanye West have been circulating non-stop.

Insiders say the incident in which West peed on a Grammy and railed against some of the brands and industry titans who helped to make him famous was the final straw for Kim, who is now just waiting for the right time to break the news to her troubled husband.

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West in 2019

Those who know the couple best say that Kim and Kanye have been living separate lives since before the pandemic, and far from bringing them closer together, the global health crisis has only exacerbated the divisions between them.

Kim, of course, has yet to comment on the situation, but many fans believe her recent social media updates speak volumes about her mental state.

The latest to spark concern among fans is a post from Kim's Instagram Story that appeared in the wee hours of Monday morning.

Kim IG Story 1

It seems the ultra-busy 39-year-old was unable to get much sleep, so she turned to her followers for advice.

"Do I get a head start on my workout or try to go back to sleep?" Kim asked.

Shortly thereafter, she revealed that she had decided to do some studying.

Kim IG Story 2

As you may recall, Kim is working to become a lawyer, opting for a four-year internship in a San Francisco law firm over traditional law school.

Some might say the mother of four has a bit too much on her plate these days, but Kim doesn't seem like the type to slow down when the going gets rough.

After her study session, she joined Khloe Kardashian and Tristan Thompson for an early morning workout.

Kim IG Story 3

She labeled a pic of the team's sneakers with "early bird special."

And where was Kanye during Kim's bout of insomnia?

Well, his whereabouts are currently unknown, but he's believed to be holed up at his ranch in Wyoming.

Kimye 2020

Insiders tell Page Six in no uncertain terms that Kim is still "planning to divorce" Kanye.

"Kim has the whole divorce planned out but she's waiting for him to get through his latest episode," says one source close to the situation.

The informant adds that Kim is "deeply disappointed" in her troubled husband as he "refuses to stick to his care plan," which was designed by his medical team to control the symptoms of his bipolar disorder.

Kim and Kanye Call It Quits

"It’s a vicious cycle that Kim has had success at interrupting successfully for months at a time," the source says.

"It's the same thing over and over and over again."

The insider adds that Kim feels awful about taking steps toward ending her marriage while Kanye is enduring a mental health episode, but she feels she has no choice, as she has to make the health and safety of her children her top priority.

Kimye on the Red Carpet

"He's on very thin ice with her right now, and she's truly trying to decide what to do to protect the kids, but also her own sanity," says the insider.

"The whole thing is discouraging and difficult for her."

Sources say it's not a matter of if Kim will leave her husband, but when.

A Kiss for Kim

Her biggest concerns reportedly have nothing to do with money and property, and everything to do with Kanye's mental health and the welfare of her children.

Insiders say Kim is hoping that the couple's iron-clad prenup will lead to a smooth and uncontested divorce.

But knowing Kanye's penchant for high drama, we wouldn't be surprised if this situation turns ugly in a hurry.

Kanye West Spent Millions on His Disastrous Run for President

Running for President takes a lot of thought and preparation, and for good reason; getting on the ballot is nothing compared to actually being President. It’s not generally something you can just decide to do at the last minute with no plan and no idea how to go about getting on the ballot.

You know, unless you have more money than brains. If you’re a rich idiot, you can just find some consultant to do all the work for you. This is true of pretty much anything, not just running for President.

So how much did Kanye West spend after deciding he wanted to be president at the last second, after the deadline had passed to get on the ballot in a large number of states? According to TMZ, over $3 million.

Kanye’s Presidential run is a great example of why we need a government to provide basic social services instead of relying on the largess of the rich. Kanye could have done a lot of good for a lot of people in any number of ways with the money he spent on a Presidential run that will ultimately amount to nothing. Kanye appears to care a lot of issues and he has the phone number of the President of the United States already, his time and money would be much better spent addressing those issues by working with groups focused on those issues. But those don’t buy the kinds of headlines “Kanye West running for President” buys.

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Kanye West Just Pissed on His Grammy

Until about twenty minutes ago I thought the most vicious thing I was ever going to see done to a Grammy was this clip from The Simpsons episode where Homer was in a barber-shop quartet.

Then Kanye West pissed on his.

Seems a bit extreme, but okay. I thought for sure he was going to get it on those ridiculous shoes he designed for a second.

Kanye has been on a tear on Twitter today. He also doxxed “Randall Forbes,” who I assume is Randall Lane, the editor and chief content officer of Forbes magazine.

Kanye is almost certainly going to get banned for that one, I posted a redacted screenshot but West didn’t redact the number.

Kanye also posted the full text of his contracts with Universal, which he did one page at a time over like 90 tweets because he couldn’t get the PDF to upload. Just link to a Google drive, Ye!

Kanye apparently thinks he’s getting taken by Universal, because he said he was “going to change the music industry for good” and asked “every lawyer in the world to look at these.”

I have no idea what I’m seeing but I could have told you that music contracts favor the labels without seeing West’s contract. It’s not exactly a secret that the money made by music goes to producers and executives and now c-suite executives at Spotify instead of the music acts themselves. Like, Master P has an estimated net worth of almost a billion dollars, have you ever bought a Master P album? Can you name one of his hit songs? Hum a few bars of anything by Master P?

He also posted a picture of a hoodie that reads “Kim is my lawyer.”

Might want to dig up her dad for this one, Ye, he got OJ off, after all. And rumor has it that was after OJ got Kris Jenner off.

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God Wanted Kanye West to Ruin Taylor Swift’s VMA Win

I love Kanye West in the same way that I love David Brent from The Office: he is a complete and utter asshole and watching him publicly embarrass himself is satisfying on an almost spiritual level.

Kanye is all about Jesus these days, presumably because he hasn’t figured out that he himself isn’t Jesus. A common question for Kanye is basically a more tactful version of “Kanye, you’re a Christian, how do you reconcile that with the fact that you’re also a huge asshole?” as if every televangelist doesn’t exist.

With all that in mind, here’s how Kanye explained his decision to rush the stage when Taylor Swift was accepting the VMA for ‘You Belong with Me’ and say she didn’t deserve it, via Uproxx:

If God didn’t want me to run on stage and say, “Beyonce had the best video,” He wouldn’t have sat me in the front row. I would’ve been sitting in the back. He wouldn’t have made it the first award. And [He] wouldn’t have made it so ridiculous of an idea ’cause I had never heard of this person before that night. And “Single Ladies” is, like, one of the greatest videos of all time… And I was only drinking Hennessy because I didn’t want to go to the awards show ’cause it was a set-up!

Yes, that’s right, God wanted Kanye to cause trouble. It was definitely God and not some MTV intern trying to stir up drama and boost ratings.

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Muslim Groups Are Deeply Offended By Kanye West’s New Shoes

If you ever travel to the Middle East, something to keep in mind is that people in the Middle East hate feet. It’s like an entire nation of anti-Tarantinos. That’s why that guy threw his shoes at George W Bush; it’s a massive insult to show the bottom of your shoes to someone.

You know what else is a massive insult to people in the Middle East, then? Naming your shoes after important religious figures in Islam.

This is a lesson Kanye West is learning because he’s super Jesusey now and Islam and Christianity share a lot of mythology. Kanye decided to name his new shoes after some biblical angels, because that’s what Jesus would do. He picked the names Israfil and Asriel, Israfil being one of the four archangels and Asriel being the cat from The Smurfs.

The Sun reports that Muslims are making their displeasure known.

Nazeem Islam posted: “It is not acceptable to make a mockery out of the beliefs of others.”

And another fan wrote: “If you had any respect for your Muslim fans, you would change the name.”

Something tells me Kanye doesn’t care if he offends Muslims because Kanye is incapable of caring about anything past the tip of his nose.

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Kim Kardashian Responds to Rumors: Kanye Is NOT Trying to Spread COVID-19!

Regardless of whether or not Kanye West is running for president, the rapper's mental state is currently under about as much scrutiny as the intellectual faculties of the two men who are most likely to be elected to the White House in November.

The reason for this is simple and serious:

Kanye West and Kim Kardashian West

Kanye suffered a bipolar breakdown in July that saw him publicly lashing out at his wife and in-laws, all of whom supported him unconditionally during previous such episodes.

All of this came on the heels of a very different set of concerns about West's health.

In a recent interview, Kanye revealed that he had contracted COVID-19 and claimed that he was able to cure himself through the power of positive thinking.

Kanye West Smiles! Wow!

Despite enduring two deeply troubling crises in a row -- both of which might be the result of his ongoing struggle with mental illness -- Kanye decided to host one of his "Sunday Service" gospel concerts in Wyoming this week.

His wife, Kim Kardashian, was the first to tease the performance, tweeting, “Guess what’s back?!?!” 

Amid concerns about the massive crew that participated in Kanye's comeback show, West dubiously claimed that everyone involved was kept safe from the 'rona.

Kanye West Has Issues

“We would like to thank our staff for making sure all Covid safety guidelines were followed today during Sunday Service at our West Mountains family ranch in Wyoming,” he tweeted.

“We are beyond blessed to be able to share the love of Christ through worship #SUNDAYSERVICEISBACK.”

Despite Kanye's reassurances, fans were understandably concerned about his ability to ensure the safety of his staff.

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West in Better Days

After all, this is a guy who claims to have cured his own case of the virus by harnessing the power of brain magic.

So maybe his understanding of infectious diseases is a little less than complete.

Seeing the backlash against her husband -- who might want to consider taking a break from the public eye for a few months -- Kim decided to once again go to bat for the man who was accusing her of cheating with Meek Mill and threatening to divorce her just a few weeks ago.

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West in 2019

"For anyone wondering, Kanye’s team took every precaution to ensure the choir’s health and safety which is always top priority," Kim tweeted.

"It was filmed today without an audience. The music will be shared soon for anyone who could use something uplifting."

Hopefully, someone informed Kim that checking into an in-patient treatment facility would be the most uplifting thing that Kanye could do at this point.

Kanye in 2020

Anyway, her defense of her husband's latest attempt to rebrand himself as the 21st century's answer to Billy Graham serves as further evidence that Kim is planning to stand by her man.

Insiders close to the couple claim that Kim and Kanye "fixed" their marriage during a recent vacation in Colorado.

That's great and all, but it would be even better if Kanye found some sort of therapeutic activity that didn't involve risking the health of dozens or hundreds of people.

Maybe dude could take up knitting or something. Just sayin'.

Kanye West, World’s Most Powerful Human and Genius Wants to Create ‘Jesus Tok’

The good news is that it appears Kanye West is past the manic episode he’s been having for most of the summer. I don’t know this for sure, of course, but the stupid s**t he’s saying now is a lot more coherent, and he did another one of his Sunday services because why not worship Kanye West, is it any dumber than being a Scientologist?

The bad news is that Kanye West is still Kanye West and he’s still the insufferable Jesus freak version of Kanye West.

But Kanye had a vision, folks!

Yes, that’s right, Kanye West, the greatest genius the world has ever seen according to Kanye West just had the idea to make a crappier religious version of a thing teenagers like. He’s officially your grandmother. “Why don’t you make a video about Jesus for the YouTubes honey?”

This is why I only listen to music I know was made by satanist who slept with hundreds of underage groupies like Led Zeppelin or David Bowie or The Rolling Stones. I do not want to be moralized to by some fucking singer. Give me a dude who too busy doing coke with Phil Collins to keep his kid from falling out a window over someone telling me Jesus is king any day.

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Kanye’s Presidential Polling Numbers Look Awful, Is It Fake News?

Kanye West is polling at 2% among registered voters in his run for president. This might seem bad but keep in mind that he’s not actually running for President and he’s only on the ballot in three states so it doesn’t really matter, does it?

To the relief of racist white Democrats like a the lady from Will and Grace and the dismay of racist white Republicans like… well, take your pick, really, Kanye has not stolen the Black vote from Joe Biden and is also polling at 2% among Black voters.

Is this poll fake news, though? No, it’s not. Black voters aren’t any dumber or smarter than voters of any other ethnicity. They can also clearly see Kanye West is a moron and aren’t going to vote for him just because he’s Black and if you thought that was going to happen, well… you might be a racistneck.

Is Kanye’s campaign just a plot to sink Joe Biden’s campaign to help Donald Trump? Look, if enough people vote for Kanye West and not you that it costs you an election, you don’t deserve to be President of the United States. Seriously, people don’t owe you a vote because you’re on the blue team or the red team, you have to a make a case that you should be president, and if you can’t make that case more effectively than Kanye West…

But TMZ reports that Kanye did ditch his wife Kim, who he just barely still married to and is supposed to be working on fixing that marriage, to meet with President Trump’s daughter Ivanka and her husband Jared Kushner. Kanye says his meeting was just about “Black empowerment” and the book PowerNomics by Dr Claude Anderson.

I have a feeling Kanye West’s idea of Black empowerment these days mostly involves empowering Kanye West, honestly. But it’s nice he’ll have something to do with all the time he used to spend having a wife.

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Kanye West Might Go to Jail for Election Fraud

Kanye West is being used by the Republicans and may go to jail over election fraud.

West is currently running for president. Haha, wait, Let me read that again. Yea..that’s right. President West.

Anyway, West’s team has been collecting signatures to get onto the ballots in multiple states, but states have declared many of those signatures as invalid.

So far, New Jersey and Illinois have declined to add him to the ballots due to suspicious signatures. Wisconsin is on the verge of dropping him also.

Illinois dropped him last Friday after 60% of the signatures to get him on the ballot were declared invalid.

It sounds like West’s team is just lying to people to get them to sign blank petitions. Mic notes:

“Cheryl Pernell said she was approached in a Walmart parking lot in Milwaukee by a woman who asked if she was registered to vote. When Pernell said yes, the woman asked her to put down her name so they’d know she was already registered. Pernell gave out her information as requested, but said she couldn’t see the top of the form she signed.

“Then yesterday, August 6, I got a call telling me what I actually signed was papers to get Kanye West on the ballot,” Pernell wrote in her affidavit. “If I had known that, I wouldn’t have signed the papers, absolutely not. Kanye West would not get my vote and I think it’s a joke that he’s running for president.”

Kanye’s being supported by the Republicans according to the NY Times.

The strategy became overt on Tuesday, when Lane Ruhland, a lawyer who has worked for the Trump campaign, delivered ballot signatures to Wisconsin elections officials on behalf of the West campaign.

Ms. Ruhland worked for the state Republican Party during Wisconsin’s recount in the 2016 presidential election. She has been representing the Trump campaign in a lawsuit filed this year against a Wisconsin television station for airing an advertisement criticizing the president’s coronavirus response.

Obviously, the plan is to divert votes from Joe Biden.

But the real question is: when can I buy one of those fancy Kanye West domes? I bet they fall apart just like Brad Pitt’s Hurricane Katrina houses though.

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