Okay, I have seen the most insane thing and I am not surprised Lindsay Lohan is involved. If you’ve been on TikTok, you’re wasting your life. But you also might has seen a commercial featuring Lindsay Lohan talking about farts.
THIS AD ON TIKTOK??? JGJF/FK¥£* pic.twitter.com/rchhwed3Rv
— ˚✧benjamjn (@kylie_gender) November 23, 2020
Yeah, that is a thing that happened.
The mind-boggling thing here is that the Church of Famera doesn’t seem to exist at first glance. There’s no website address in the ad and a Google search turns up nothing. The website is famera.co and famera appears to be a video chat app.
the more you learn the more you say wtf
— FAMERA PRESIDENT (@famera) November 22, 2020
There’s also a Twitter account.
The commercial is just Lindsay Lohan saying she’s a dirty little stinker and that the fragrance of salvation is in the air. “May the eye wink upon you” is absolutely about a butthole. I guess the logo kind of looks like a butthole, but not as much as the flag on Community.
The leading explanation for how this came to be is that someone paid Lohan to say this on Cameo, which is why she can’t keep a straight face reading it. I can very readily believe that having seen it. There’s really no other reasonable explanation for it.
I can tell you I definitely will not be downloading that app, it probably enlists you in the Ocean Organization for a billion years or something.
The post What The Hell Is That Crazy Lindsay Lohan Commercial? appeared first on The Blemish.
If living in America these past few years has been a bit bonkers for your personal taste, you may want to begin the visa application process and start pricing Canadian real estate now, because things are about to get even crazier.
Yes, folks, whether you're ready for it or not, it looks like Lindsay Lohan is planning to return to America -- and this time, she's looking to conquer.
Sigh. As if we don't have enough orange-hued, reality TV has-beens attempting to take over this country, right?!
Lindsay Skyped into Anderson Cooper and Andy Cohen's New Year's Eve broadcast to announce that she's planning to return to America in 2020 after spending the better part of the past decade living overseas.
The surprise announcement came after Cohen asked Lindsay if she has any New Year's resolutions:
“Yes, I do," Lohan began.
"I’m managing my sister, so I want to really focus on me and everything that I can do in my life and come back to America and start filming again, which I’m doing something soon in this new year," she continued.
"And, you know, just taking back the life I’ve worked so hard for and sharing it with my family and you guys.”
If you're having a hard time making sense of that statement, don't worry -- there's really not much to make sense of.
Lindsay is managing her sister, but for some reason that means she'll be focusing on herself?
Yeah, we guess when you've spent the past five years partying your way across Europe and the Middle East like some sort of coke-addled Carmen San Diego, expecting you to piece together a coherent sentence on live TV is asking a bit much.
Anyway, Lindsay didn't get into the specifics of her comeback plan, but she has two long-gestating projects set for release, and they both sound almost unimaginably awful.
One is a no-budget werewolf movie called Among The Shadows, which will mark Lindsay's first big screen project since the 2013 flop The Canyons.
The other is an EDM track on which Lindsay sings and produces entitled -- of course -- "Xanax."
Lohan has been promising the song since September, and Cohen called her out during Tuesday's broadcast.
“I’m ready for this recording,” he said during Lindsay's brief interview.
This prompted Lohan to reply, “Andy, you’re getting it after the New Year.”
So at some point this year there will be a Lindsay Lohan techno song about benzos.
Finally, something to look forward to!
Lindsay has been keeping a low profile ever since her ill-conceived MTV reality show, Lindsay Lohan's Beach Club, was canceled last year after just one season.
Some stars might have been discouraged by the show's rock bottom ratings, but not Lindsay.
No, she long ago located the line between confidence and delusion, rolled up a dollar bill, and snorted it into oblivion.
As the kids, say #goals.
Hey, remember Lindsay Lohan?
Well, if you're Australian and/or Cody Simpson, then you probably couldn't forget her if you tried. Allow us to explain:
You see, while Americans rejected the idea of "Lindsay Lohan reality star" by banding together as a nation and refusing to watch Lindsay Lohan's Beach Club, the Aussies lack the wherewithal to rid of themselves of either the tyranny of the British crown or the Disney Ginger Princess of the '90s. Sad.
As a result, they're stuck with LiLo hosting their version of The Masked Singer.
And what does all this have to do with Cody Simpson, you ask?
Well, Simpson is doing more than just banging Miley Cyrus these days.
Not a whole lot more, mind you ... but a little bit more.
For instance, he recently won the Australian version of The Masked Singer!
Even more impressive is the fact that he accomplished this feat despite being forced to endure the explicit prejudice of one of the show's judges -- one Lindsay Dee Lohan!
When Lindsay correctly guessed that Cody was the crooner inside the Robot costume, she took advantage of the opportunity to roast his ass over so some stolen furniture:
"If it is you, we have a lot to talk about, and this is not the arena for it," she said, prior to his unmasking.
"I want my furniture back! Because I bought your furniture for your house in Venice!" Lindsay added.
And why would Lindsay buy a house full of furniture for a random 22-year-old Aussie pop star?
(We know this is a lot of rhetorical questions, but we swear it's leading somewhere.)
For the answer to that, we direct you to an Instagram post that Lindsay posted and promptly deleted earlier this week.
Yes, it seems Cody recently dated -- and presumably dumped -- Lindsay's younger sister, Aliana.
And apparently, Lindsay is still pretty pissed about it.
“When you realise (sic) you failed. And you settle for less @codysimpson," she captioned the post.
"Family is everything you won the masked singer but you lost on your future,”
Due to the fact that Cody is dating Miley, this post was widely interpreted as Lohan's way of throwing shade at the couple.
However, reps for the former actress tell TMZ that that was not Lindsay's intention, and this was meant to be an "inside joke" between herself and Cody.
An inside joke that she deleted the moment she began to face backlash.
We're not buying it, but at the same time, we're inclined to let Lindsay off the hook for this one.
She hasn't been the same since she learned she wasn't cast as the lead in the live-action Little Mermaid.
Some things are too insane for me to actually wrap my head around them, and Lindsay Lohan being the Queen of Saudi Arabia is way up at the top of the list. But it’s a thing that could happen some day and we’re all just going to have to deal with that.
Here’s the deal; Page Six reports that there are rumors that Lohan and Saudi Prince Mohammad bin Salman have been getting close. How close?
A wild rumor hit town that Lohan and the bloodthirsty crown prince of Saudi Arabia have gotten close, and that he’s been flying her around in his jets and showering her with presents — including a gift-wrapped credit card. And when we started asking around, a source in her inner circle acknowledged that they “know each other.”
See, that sounds like the sort of thing a Saudi prince is likely to do for a celebrity when he wants to have sex with her.
Now a rep for Lohan, 33, tells us that the pair met just once — around a year ago at a Formula One Grand Prix race. The rep also denied that bin Salman — who has been accused of ordering the 2018 murder of journalist Jamal Khashoggi — gave Lohan a credit card.
Either way, pals of Lohan — who even say they’ve seen text exchanges between the pair — are boasting about what they claim is a new friendship. The rep called those claims “lies.”
She just needs to be sure that he doesn’t misunderstand when she asks him to give her “a little head,” because if there’s one thing I know about Saudi Arabia is that there are way more beheadings than female orgasms in that country.
The post Wait, is Lindsay Lohan Dating the Crown Prince of Saudi Arabia? appeared first on The Blemish.
The Masked Singer was the surprise hit of last season, and that means it’s going to be spawning a lot of imitators and foreign versions. It’s actually already a foreign version of a Korean show, but we’re Americans so I don’t consider other countries to actually exist.
One of the international versions of The Masked Singer is being produced in Australia, and they’ve hired Lindsay Lohan as a judge. And, well, Lindsay has an interesting way of talking about it.
Yes, that’s right, Lindsay Lohan has another new accent. I would not recommend trying to adopt an Australian accent, it’s actually hard as balls to do properly.
This isn’t Lindsay’s first foray into sounding like an asshole, though. She previously rolled out an unintelligible fake accent based on nothing, sort of like that Mid-Atlantic accent actors like Kelsey Grammar use to sound fancy, even though it’s not actually from anywhere. The difference is they actually do sound fancy, while Lindsay sounds like a crazy person.
I mean, she is a crazy person, remember when she tried to steal those kids? She was just speaking nonsense.
The other judges will be Kylie Minogue’s sister Dannii, who is also a singer but not nearly as successful as Kylie, stand-up comic Dave Hughes, who Wikipedia says is known for his Australian accent, which seems like a low bar for an Australian and television personality Jackie O, who has not yet been successful enough to buy her own celebrity name and has had to rent a used one from the late American first lady.
Well, folks, whether it's Mueller, or Jussie, or the fact that soon we're all gonna be strangled to a slow death by our own noxious atmosphere, there's a lot that might be bumming you out this week ... and it's only Tuesday.
But fear not, dear reader, for we bring you tidings of great joy and reason to be hopeful about the future.
The long national nightmare known as Lindsay Lohan's Beach Club has finally come to an end.
Better yet, because the show's ratings steadily declined throughout the season, and a lot of people were grossed out by the fact that it was basically a documentary set at a skeezy Mediterranean brothel, there's reason to believe it'll never be back.
Obviously, this is fantastic news for defenders not only of common decency but of quality television.
You see, the problem with LLBC is that it was bad, but not in a fun guilty pleasure way.
As we noted in our recap of the pilot episode the show is (was?) the sort of trainwreck that it's easy to look away from.
From the start, the show failed to deliver what it promised -- Lindsay in all her hot mess glory.
Don't get us wrong, Lindsay seems to be doing much better these days, but no one wanted or needed a 10-hour infomercial about how she's reinvented herself as Lisa Vanderpump.
(It's an especially weird act considering that Lindsay is younger than most of Lisa's employees on Vanderpump Rules, which just contributes to the feeling that LiLo's attempting an unsuccessful Vincent Adultman.)
Anyway, it wasn't just the fact that Lindsay was obviously cosplaying from the start, or even the fact that her business partner Panos basically admitted that the staff is there to perform sexual favors for guests.
No, the most off-putting part of the whole thing was how slapdash and confusing it all was.
Was it a competition to see who can go the longest without getting fired or contracting chlamydia?
Or was it more of a "hang-out" reality show where the cast bonds over their shared experiences and struggles with chlamydia?
We're not really sure -- and in the season freakin' finale, it seems that the cast wasn't really sure, either.
All season, Lindsay and Panos have been threatening to fire people, and it often seemed that that was the point of the series -- that Lohan would winnow down her staff to a few who would remain on with her full-time.
But despite all the threats, very few "ambassadors" got fired -- until last night, when two were let go on their last day in Greece.
Hilariously, one cast member was canned for behaving inappropriately with guests, despite the fact that the entire cast was encouraged to bone for money all season.
Another was let go for striking a co-worker, which would be a good reason -- were it not for the fact that Jonitta hit Gabi earlier this season and was not fired for it.
"At the end of the day, no matter what you guys do here, it's my name," Lindsay said, repeating her mantra about the importance of her brand for then billionth time this season.
In the end, Lindsay invited 5 staff members to stay on with her, which might have meant something if the show had established what's at stake from the beginning.
In the end, we were just left with something that started out with promise but ended in confusing disappointment.
Not unlike Lindsay's acting career.
Here’s a surprise in this week’s Lindsay Lohan news: Lohan is going to be appearing in an actual movie for the first time in six years. I know, shocking, isn’t it? And it’s a werewolf movie…those are still a thing right? Here’s the trailer for Among the Shadows, her newest movie:
Before you get too excited, bear in mind that this movie won’t actually be in theaters, but it’ll be available on demand in March. Not the same level of momentum, but hey, it’s better than direct to DVD.
I’m still a little skeptical about this film. First of all, the trailer looks a little like a slapped together fan trailer. Secondly, is that unfortunately, Lohan hasn’t brought much in the way of renown to any picture she’s done in recent years. Here’s the summary of the movie so you can see what we’re dealing with here:
“Kristy Wolfe (Charlotte Beckett) is a Brussels private eye descended from werewolves who must go to work when her uncle Harry Goldtsone is murdered in a politically-motivated attack. Patricia Sherman (Lindsay Lohan), the wife of European Federation President Richard Sherman, hires Wolfe to investigate Goldstone’s killing, as he was her husband’s campaign manager. Wolfe finds bodies falling all over city and must use her innate instincts to unravel the case and stay alive long enough unmask the conspiracy.”
I did check around to see if this movie stemmed from any other source material like a novel or book series, or hell, even a video game. No dice.
And I’m already suspicious of a werewolf movie whose lead character has the last name of “Wolfe.” If that isn’t the most blatant wink to the audience, I don’t know what is. No, scratch that, this isn’t a wink, this is a punch in the face.
Also, based on the summary, it seems like the investigator (Charlotte Beckett) is supposed to be the main character. But when you look at the IMDB page, it’s Lohan’s face and name splashed over the poster. It looks like Charlotte Beckett is getting the short shrift here. And now I think that most of the budget went towards securing Lindsay Lohan for the movie and keeping her appeased on set just to gain an audience that they might not have gotten without Lohan’s notoriety attached.
It’s been a while since we’ve heard from Lindsay Lohan since she’s more or less fled the country for Greece. She has now opened an exclusive club on Mykonos called the Lohan Beach House. For someone who is supposedly in recovery from alcohol and drug abuse, I question the wisdom of whether it’s a great idea her to be operating a bar in a known party area.
Her PR image has been shoddy for the practically the last decade, but she has done nothing to improve or revive that perception. However, Lohan wants another chance at reigniting her fame. And when I say fame, I’m going to assume she is referring to show business and not her notoriety for incidents such as almost kidnapping a small child and getting punched in the face for it. Or referring to victims of sexual assault as”weak.” Or getting into public, drunken screaming fights her boyfriends. And girlfriends. Okay, I’m going to be here all day if I delve down this rabbit hole any further.
Anyway, Lohan’s reps are stalking publicists on Facebook to say that if any of brands are interested in working with the renowned Lindsay Lohan, they should definitely get in touch! But not just any brands mind you. Here are Lindsay’s exact specifications for brands according to what her reps say:
“Acceptable brands include: fashion, beauty, car, lifestyle, CPG, fitness/lifestyle, food/drinks, entertainment/media, tech. Must have a substantial budget.”
“Must have a substantial budget.” Yes, I can see why any brand Lindsay Lohan would work with would need an extremely ample budget. This clearly has a double meaning. Her rep doesn’t only mean that a potential brand requires a lot of money just to pay Lohan’s salary, but they’re also going to need additional costs to keep Lohan placated. And enough money to cover expenses when they fall behind when Lohan is late. Or if she turns up drunk/hungover. Or if she happens to destroy something while intoxicated. Or if she decides not to show up at all.
As tempting as the prospect of working with Lindsay Lohan might be, Lohan’s reps have received very lackluster responses to this exciting offer. Who knew that when you have a reputation for being unreliable, unprofessional, and have a recurring drug/alcohol problem, other people generally won’t want to work with you?
Lohan has apparently deluded herself into thinking that she can forever bank on her childhood and teen stardom to receive work. I’m sure these publicists have politely communicated to Lohan’s reps, “Yeah…don’t call us, we’ll call you.” Then they told their social media teams to block them from their Facebook pages, and any phone calls should go straight to voicemail.
The post Lindsay Lohan’s Reps Scour Facebook for ‘Substantial Endorsements’ appeared first on The Blemish.
The year is 2019. A mother looks at her young son and says “You better behave. You need to eat your vegetables, brush your teeth and wash behind your ears, because if you don’t, Lindsay Lohan will come and snatch you away.” The child turns as white as a sheet and says “I’ll behave mommy, please, anything but that!”
If it seems far-fetched that someone would use Lindsay Lohan as an example of a child-snatching boogeyman, but now that she’s tried to actually steal a child, it becomes a little more believable.
what is happening… lindsay lohan tried to kidnap two refugee children because she thought the mom was trafficking her children she then was punched by the mother wow… pic.twitter.com/WYvchUqVNh
— ryan (@ryanspearsz) September 29, 2018
TMZ had some background information on the video in which Lindsay gets punched in the face and knocked down by a mother after trying to take her son, who Lohan claimed was being trafficked.
Lindsay, who was in Moscow, gets out of her car and approaches the family — 2 boys and their parents. She says they’re Syrian refugees who need help.
Then it turns … LiLo accuses them of trafficking their kids, as she speaks in both English and Arabic. At one point she says, “You’re ruining Arabic culture.”
It seems like the reason Lohan came to the conclusion that these children were being trafficked is that they’re Arab and… that’s it. And after she picks herself up off the pavement, she talks about how scared she was. Think about how scared the kids she tried to take were. The only person in that video who looks like a child trafficker is Lindsay Lohan. She’s a white woman in Russia with an unplaceable accent who tried to abscond with two children she saw walking down the street. The only thing separating her from a generic child abductor is a windowless white van or a Best Supporting Actor Oscar for The Usual Suspects.
The post Lindsay Lohan Got Knocked Out Trying to Steal a Woman’s Children appeared first on The Blemish.
So much for Lindsay Lohan remaining out of the news.
And so much for Lindsay Lohan not doing something totally weird, kind of insane and quite rude.
In the shocking and ridiculous video featured here, Lohan is on the street in Moscow when she comes across two kids and their parents.
The family is sadly homeless and just trying to get by.
At first, Lindsay approaches them and tells her fans watching:
"Hey everyone I just want to show you a family I met, a Syrian refugee family. I’m going to introduce you to them."
But the washed-up celebrity then accuses the mother and father of trafficking, for reasons unknown, eventually voicing said accuations loudly and rudely.
“Guys, you’re going the wrong way, my car is here, come,” Lohan is heard yelling at the children... who continue to follow their parents as she chases them down the street.
“They’re trafficking children, I won’t leave until I take you, now I know who you are, don’t f-ck with me," she says.
The actress, who spent a few years residing in Dubai, can also be heard shouting Arabic phrases in a what sounds like a Middle Eastern accent.
It really is all as bizarre as it sounds.
“You’re ruining Arabic culture by doing this. You’re taking these children they want to go," she tells the parents, prior to addressing the son as follows:
"I’m with you. Don’t worry, the whole world is seeing this right now, I will walk forever, I stay with you don’t worry.”
Lohan then tries to grab the boy's hand... only to get PUNCHED IN THE FACE BY THE BOY'S MOTHER.
It's rather amazing, and totally understandable, considering this random, rich, privileged white lady is accusing her of human trafficking simply because... we're not even sure why?
She's dumb and ignorant and the family is in a touch situation?
After the unexpected punch, the video ends with a crying Lohan gasping:
“I’m like in shock right now, I’m just like so scared."
Watch the full video here and prepared to be equally shocked.
Lindsay Lohan shocked fans after posting a disturbing video on Instagram that appeared to show her accusing a homeless family of “trafficking children” when they would not let her help them.
Although the actress, 32, has since deleted the Instagram Live video, PEOPLE was able to watch it beforehand.
In the video preceding the bizarre clip, Lohan can be seen partying in a dark and loud club. Though it is not immediately clear where the incident happened, TMZ reports she was in Russia, while her most recent Instagram location tags show she was recently in Paris.
In the next video, Lohan, who is in a car, spots a homeless family sleeping outside and identifies them as Syrian refugees.
Seemingly trying to help, Lohan approaches the family and says the children can come with her to watch movies “on a television or a computer.” However, when they do not make moves to leave with her, she starts to become belligerent. It’s not immediately clear whether the family could understand what she was saying to them.
Eventually, the family gathers up their stuff to leave, which Lohan appears to take as a sign that they’re consenting to come with her, leading her to ask the kids, “Are you excited?” The children do not answer.
As the family walks past Lohan’s car, the actress can be heard saying, “This is my car right here.” After they keep walking, Lohan says, “They’re trafficking children.”
At points in the video, the New York native can be heard speaking to the family with a foreign accent.
what is happening… lindsay lohan tried to kidnap two refugee children because she thought the mom was trafficking her children she then was punched by the mother wow… pic.twitter.com/WYvchUqVNh
— ryan (@ryanspearsz) September 29, 2018
As Lohan continues to follow the family, a female voice can be heard approaching her, after which Lohan lets out an audible gasp and her camera shakes.
Lohan then turns the camera around on herself and says she was slapped by the woman. “You guys, I’m so scared,” she remarks while crying and grabbing the side of her face. Shortly after, the video ends.
Lohan’s rep did not immediately reply to PEOPLE’s request for comment.
RELATED VIDEO: Lindsay Lohan’s Childhood Home Lost to Foreclosure After Mom Dina Defaults on Mortgage
While some fans could be seen commenting on the video with heart emojis and messages about how Lohan was doing the right thing, many people have subsequently shared their outrage over her behavior on Twitter.
“Everyone’s cracking jokes about Lindsay Lohan trying to steal two Syrian refugee kids from their parents & getting punched in retaliation live on Instagram—but I’m actually outraged at her blatant white saviorism,” wrote one social media user, though the video does not explicitly show Lohan getting hit.
Everyone’s cracking jokes about Lindsay Lohan trying to steal two Syrian refugee kids from their parents & getting punched in retaliation live on Instagram—but I’m actually outraged at her blatant white saviorism.
— Ghazala Irshad (@ghazalairshad) September 29, 2018
Days earlier, Lohan was spotted in Paris, where she attended the Saint Laurent runway show alongside her look-alike little brother, model Dakota Lohan, 22.
The actress has recently been spending a lot of time in Mykonos, Greece to film her new reality series, Lohan Beach Club, slated to premiere on MTV in 2019.
Get ready, Life-Size fans because Casey and Eve are officially reuniting (in some capacity!)
“She has this new TV show on MTV about this club so she couldn’t make it, which was sad,” Banks, 44, told The Hollywood Reporter. “ will be in the movie in some kind of way. We’ll see where that ends up.”
“I actually think we are going to surpass expectations because me as a producer and actor in it, it surpassed my own expectations,” Banks explained to The Hollywood Reporter.
A representative for Lohan did not immediately respond to PEOPLE’s request for comment.
Life-Size, which premiered in 2000 on ABC’s The Wonderful World of Disney, starred a then up-and-coming Lohan as a young girl who accidentally brings her quintessential fashion doll — played by Banks — to life.
“Now filming: LIFE SIZE 2,” Banks wrote on Instagram, captioning a picture of her and Raísa. “It’s time y’all! You’ve waited long enough. Could not find one single woman more perfect to co-star with Eve than the magnificently fierce @franciaraisa.”
RELATED VIDEO: Tyra Banks Is Replacing Nick Cannon as the New Host of ‘America’s Got Talent’
Life-Size 2 will follow Grace Manning (Raísa) as the “confident and funny” CEO of her mother’s company Marathon Toys (who are known for manufacturing the iconic Eve doll). Though she holds the power position, Raísa is “a hot mess in the middle of her quarter-life crisis” whose “wild-child ways are causing the company’s stock to plummet” — something Eve will surely help fix.
Joining the cast is Gavin Stenhouse as Grace’s love interest, Calum; Shanica Knowles and Hank Chen as Grace’s BFFs Tahlia and Brendan; and Alison Fernandez as Lex, Grace’s young next-door neighbor.
Along with starring and executive-producing the film, Banks will also be singing Life-Size 2‘s theme song, which she did for the first film. In March, the America’s Got Talent host told Entertainment Weekly that the new song will stray from a “nursery school rhyme” and sound “a lot more current” than the original.
“I am going to dust off my retired vocal chords for Life-Size 2,” Banks explained. “I’d love to find a top producer that everybody knows, like a household name, to do the music. And a beautiful sound technician to auto-tune the hell out of my voice. … Those words will be in there some way, but it’ll sound totally new. … We’re going for club banger as opposed to nursery school rhyme this time!”
Life-Size 2 is expected to premiere during Freeform’s 25 Days of Christmas in December.
All of the stars listed below have battled various demons over the years.
But they've acknowledged their problems and entered rehab facilities to deal with them.
Please join us in sending them well wishes for a bright, healthy and happy future...
1. Ben Affleck
2. Catelynn Lowell
3. Luann de Lesseps
4. Demi Lovato
5. Josh Duggar
6. Selena Gomez
It’s been a decade since Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton had their public feud, but Paris, at least, still isn’t over it. When a Paris Hilton fan Instagram account posted a video of Lohan accusing Paris of attacking her and then almost immediately claiming she never said it, Hilton chimed in to call Lohan a “pathological liar.”
Lindsay Lohan obviously has some untreated STD that’s affected her brain. It would explain both why she would call Paris Hilton a cunt and then claim a few minutes later that she never said that and where that weird accent came from.
This isn’t the first time in recent memory Hilton has lashed out at Lohan, though.
— MTV AUSTRALIA (@MTVAUSTRALIA) December 11, 2017
Just last year Hilton told MTV Australia that in the famous picture of her, Lohan and Britney Spears in a car together, Lohan wasn’t invited and just sort of jumped in the car with them unwanted.
But it’s not all bad news for Hilton and Lohan. I have it on good authority that scientists are working on a cure for vocal fry induced stupidity, so there’s hope for both of them yet. We will find a cure, ladies, and when we do you’ll both be able to carry on a conversation without the person you’re talking to wanting to stab themselves in the ears.
At long last, Lindsay Lohan will be back in our American lives.
It’s been years since Lohan has fully graced us with her presence. Sure, she did that lawyer commercial, but that was nothing more than a cocktease.
Now, we could be getting the real thing.
In a New York Times profile piece, Lohan mentions working with MTV to develop a reality show centering around her and the opening of the Lohan Beach House in the Greek island of Rhodes. The show will be akin to Vanderpump Rules and feature cameras capturing the ins and outs of the new club.
From the sound of things, Lohan wouldn’t be the major star. The club itself would be the star with Lohan appearing anytime she happens to be around to take care of any business.
“There’s a business side to my life now, but I’m not in America, so no one knows about it, which is nice for me,” Ms. Lohan said. “Because I get to actually focus on the result of things.”
I’m 100 percent here for business and bossy Lindsay Lohan.
Mykonos, Greece is the home of the first Lohan Beach House. In just weeks, the restaurant/bar has already become a major hotspot.
When the sun goes down.. See You at @lindsaylohan’s New VIP Beach Club. #LohanMykonos . . . . . . #lohanmykonos #lohanbeachhouse #mykonos #mikonos #mykonosisland #mykonosgreece #mymykonos #mykonoslife #mykonos2018 #mykonosparty #mykonos_vacation #mykonoslifestyle #beachbar #beachbars #beachclub #beachclubs #beachparty #beachrestaurant #gastronomy #restaurants #restaurant #restaurantlife #restaurantmykonos #summer2018
The sun sinking into the blue. The sound of waves touching the sand. @lindsaylohan welcomes you to #LohanRhodes. Let's be our own summer! . . . #lohanbeachhouse #rhodesisland #rhodesgreece #rhodes2018 #beachclub #restaurant #beachclubs #islandlife #beachparty #beachbar #beachbars #beachlife #summertime #lindsaylohan #greekislands #greekisland #sunset #rhodes #lohan
Scusate, ma proprio non riesco a smettere di dire:<<quanto mi piace quest’isola?>> #effek#effekbeachwear#mikonos#mykonos#thisismykonos#tagsforlikesapp#mykonos2018#summer2018#enjoy#instadaily#instapic#picoftheday#fit#fitlife#fitgirl#tags#top#nutrition#body#health#instafit#instatravel#instagood#instagram#webstagram#swag#igers#shot#amazing @effek
I wonder if Paris Hilton will get an invite to the grand opening.
The post Lindsay Lohan Working on Reality Show Where She’s the Boss appeared first on The Blemish.
Paris Hilton is making the guest list for her wedding. One name that won’t appear? Lindsay Lohan.
While Hilton praised Kim Kardashian for getting Alice Johnson out of jail, she didn’t have much to say about Lohan.
“If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all.”
If Lohan were the one getting married, Hilton said, “I’m very busy” when asked if she would want an invite.
“I don’t have drama with anyone. I just choose not to surround myself with certain people.”
If you can’t keep Paris in the spotlight, you better get out of hers.
The beef between Lohan and Hilton dates back years. The two looked to be friends when they were seen in a car with Britney Spears together back in 2006. The Internet dubbed the trio “The Holy Trinity.” Turns out, it was just supposed to be Spears and Hilton, but Lohan crashed their night.
And who could forget about Brandon Davis’ rant against Lohan’s vagina, with Hilton laughing in the background.
Much of their issues likely stem from Barron Hilton, Paris’ little brother, getting beat up back in 2013. He claimed that Lohan was the mastermind behind the attack.
Shortly after the incident, Hilton was asked similar questions about her relationship status with Lohan. She didn’t have time for Lohan questions, even back then.
Glad to see nothing has really changed in four and a half years. Let’s revisit this at the end of 2022 and get another update, shall we?
The post Hey, Lindsay Lohan, Don’t Expect a Wedding Invite from Paris Hilton appeared first on The Blemish.
If you don’t know who Lindsay Lohan is, then you may have lived under a rock for the last 10 years. Love her or hate her, she’s had no shortage of articles written about her or stories on the television. Known as Hollywood’s bad girl, better remembered for her checkered past than her acting, she is one of the most controversial actresses of our time.
Sure we’ve been entertained watching her dramatic encounters with the law as we flip through gossip mags, but beyond entertainment, what have her mistakes taught us? When it comes to what we’ve learned from Lindsay Lohan, here are the things that stick out the most.
Don’t Drink And Drive
More than once Lindsay Lohan infamously brushed with the law doing things that were illegal. Most famously driving under the influence of drugs and alcohol. Not only was she caught, but it continued to happen even after going to court.
What we learned from watching her be seemingly incapable of ordering a cab despite her hefty salary, is that driving under the influence of substances is a really bad idea. Not only will you find yourself potentially in a lot of trouble with the law, but you may get into a car accident which leads to serious injury or fatality.
Blondes Don’t Always Have More Fun
Lindsay is known for her red hair and freckles. Although for a short time she decided to dip her toes into the world of being blonde. Most people agreed that the look washed her out and made her look nothing short of ill.
Even though there may be a misconception that blondes have more fun, her blonde stage may have been one of the worst during her peak bad-girl stage. Passing out in cars, missing court dates, and getting into trouble at rehab are just a few of the things she got into. We learned that sometimes a zebra is meant to have stripes and Lindsay Lohan is meant to be a redhead.
Show Up When You Get A Court Order
Lindsay refused to show up when her judge told her it was time to start taking things seriously. We learned that even when you’re a celebrity there is no special treatment if you refuse to listen to a judge’s orders.
If you are ordered to show up at a certain time in court then take her experience as an example and do yourself the favor of showing up.
Rehab Doesn’t Always Do The Trick
Regardless of how many times she was sent to rehab, we saw that it didn’t necessarily do the trick. Some people are so set on a good time that even after being in a program they can’t seem to resist the urge to party.
Well, it looks like Lindsay Lohan’s not working on that show about Russians right now. Instead, she’s going to be on the second season of a show called Sick Note, with Rupert Grint, Nick Frost, and Don Johnson.
Lohan is going to play the daughter of Grint’s boss, played by Johnson. Wow. This series has like the best of the 1980’s, ’90’s, and ’00s right on one set! Fine. We’ll give Johnson credit for Nash Bridges, too. Still, this is quite a weird hodgepodge of actors. Apparently, people love the first season and they have high hopes for a second one.
There’s a photo that’s possibly the most WTF thing I’ve ever seen – it shows Grint, Lohan and Nick Frost all standing there looking at the camera. My first thought was… one of these people doesn’t belong. I’m a huge Frost fan… and it just seems really odd to see Lohan in the same shot. OK, I’m going to go watch Hot Fuzz again.
OK, I know. As far as WTF things, that’s pretty mild, but we live in such a fucked-up world now that there are times that I just want to stay in a state of drunkenness all the time. The sad thing is that I’m writing this thing completely sober.
I wonder if Lohan confused everyone with her accent. Let’s hope she doesn’t torch yet another chance with diva behavior.
Celebrities like Lindsay Lohan have a new strategy. Instagram a photo out and then quickly delete it. Whoopsie! Except, nah, wasn’t no accident. They wanted people to talk about their “racy photo.”
Lohan Instagrammed out a pic of her on all fours in bed. She stares back while her boobs, or at least the right one, sways freely like a partially filled plastic bag stuck on a tree. We in the business call that “sideboob.”
In Touch Weekly gladly saved it for all you pervs.
I’m closing my eyes and imagining this is Lindsay Lohan from 10 years ago. Is Lindsay still waiting for Mean Girls 2 to come out? It’s the only gravy train in her sight.
While she waits for the crew to get back together, she’s hawking her own jewelry. Oh, yeaa. *nods heads* This’ll definitely take off. She hashtagged #LohanJewelry to whet our appetites.
Instead of jewelry, Lohan should hawk videos on accents: “How to fake an unidentifiable accent.”
Is the accent British? Middle Eastern? It’s like a mix of Middle Eastern and Woody Allen.
I’ll give it up to Lindsay. She’s rather worldly. She’s faking accents, reading the Koran and making movies about Russian oligarchs. She was recently even in Monaco checking out F1 racing cars, and probably their drivers too.
Somebody get her job stat.
Lindsay Lohan, who hasn’t been culturally relevant since Mean Girls… OK, MAYBE Herbie: Fully Loaded (I’m still stunned that she’s only turning 31… it seems like she’s been around for at least five decades), was talking up a storm at a party at the Cannes Film Festival. It’s uncertain what accent she used. She was saying that she’s working with a partner of Netflix to do a television show centered around Russian oligarchs. I have no idea why she’d be thinking of doing something about that topic, it’s not like Russia or oligarchies have been in the news lately. Oh. Wait. Yes, it seems like Ms. Lohan IS trying to keep up with the times.
As is the custom of many of these “projects” within Hollywood circles, it seemed like a lot of what was going to happen in the air. Right now, it’s in the writing stage. That’s where a lot of these projects remain. I have a novel that’s been in that stage for 17 years, but that’s neither here nor there. She’s apparently uncertain what her actual role could be – a source there told media that she “plans to act and co-direct or direct, but said she hasn’t decided yet.” Well, she needs to decide quickly, since if a certain orange-skinned politician finds himself bounced from his position of higher office, this might wind up joining my novel in limbo.
Netflix hasn’t confirmed anything. To be fair, though, they could just be really busy getting ready to roll out The Defenders soon. This could also be their way of saying, “Um. We have NO idea what she’s talking about. Please don’t ask us any more questions about it.”
Until we all get a definitive answer, we can wait for Lohan’s movie, The Shadow Within, which is about a detective that’s also a werewolf. Yes. A werewolf detective. Amazingly, Uwe Boll was not involved, though it sounds like something that would be right up his alley.
In Lindsay Lohan’s latest attempt to get publicity, she’s now wearing a burkini.
— BULLETT Media (@BULLETTMedia) April 6, 2017
— Hawtcelebs (@Hawtcelebs) April 6, 2017
The 30-year-old actress was photographed wearing the swimsuit in Thailand. Since turning 30, Lohan explained that she has found solace in her life and has studied the Qur’an to further her peaceful journey.
‘I have reached inside and I found what I want my intentions to be in the world… focusing on taking control of what I want out of life.’
‘You can’t just convert to a religion overnight – it’s a culture and practice [and] I don’t want to comment on something I haven’t finished’
Well, this is a far cry from her trying to be British a couple of months ago. I hope that this isn’t some type of weird publicity stunt, but this is Lindsay Lohan we’re talking about here. A month from now, she’ll be Australian.
I will say this, Lindsay looks happy. She’s out on the water, doing some paddle boarding, a little bit of yoga, and is staying out of trouble. Maybe she is finding peace. It’s tough to forget those crazy years. But let’s remember the good years. Stay Fetch, Lindsay.
Is the prank gonna be on us for watching it?
Lindsay Lohan is plotting her big return from yachting around the Mediterranean thinking about how she’s really a refugee. She’s currently shopping a social media prank show, The Anti-Social Network, around Hollywood.
In the show, she takes control of contestants’ social media for 24 hours and has them do weird and humiliating shit for prizes.
Lindsay Lohan gets into weird shit constantly, so this will probably be hilarious. It’s probably some kind of long drawn out weird revenge for when Ashton Kutcher targeted her on Punk’d 500 years ago.
Check out a little sneak peak below.
All of the stars listed below have battled various demons over the years.
But they've acknowledged their problems and entered rehab facilities to deal with them.
Please join us in sending them well wishes for a bright, healthy and happy future...
1. Ben Affleck
2. Lindsay Lohan
3. Catherine Zeta-Jones
4. Demi Lovato
5. Britney Spears
6. Demi Moore
Oh my god.
During an interview on Good Morning Britain, Lindsay Lohan claimed she was racially profiled at Heathrow Airport while wearing her headscarf.
Was she religiously profiled?
Absolutely. Nothing scares white people more than somebody wearing a non-white approved hat. Unless they are a white girl wearing a Native American headdress at Coachella.
Was she racially profiled?
“I got stopped recently and was racially profiled,” Lohan shared. “She [the customs agent] opened my passport, saw ‘Lindsay Lohan,’ and immediately started apologizing.”
Despite the apology, the agent advised the former child star to “take off your headscarf.” She said the experience left her “kind of shocked,” and wondered how “another woman who doesn’t feel comfortable taking off her headscarf” might feel.
You could really argue that by doing her best to make an international refugee crisis about her, she isn’t really all that sympathetic, but at least it’s better than the shit she used to pull.
Which mostly involved getting drunk and shouting racist stuff at people.
You can't really blame Lindsay Lohan for trying to reinvent herself.
After all, at this point she's been a Hollywood punchline for much longer than she was a legitimate movie star.
Unfortunately, the new persona she's chosen (Angelina Jolie meets Carmen San Diego-style globe-trotting humanitarian) is one that can't be entered into lightly, and it seems Linds just didn't do her research before the unveiling.
She's like a high school kid who shows up to the first day of sophomore year with a mohawk and a Sex Pistols shirt but still thinks Johnny Rotten is the bad guy from that health class movie about STDs.
Tortured metaphors aside, Linds appears to have jumped into this whole international peacekeeper thing without putting in her due diligence first, which may be how she wound up unwittingly (we think) working as a Turkish spy.
Or writing teary-eyed poems about ISIS.
Or doing engaging of the other misguided BS that she's stumbled into since she decided she wants to convince the world philanthropy is new her new cocaine.
Anyway, when she's not engaged in her other vocation of the moment (trying to get Lohan nightclub off the ground so that the proceeds can go to like ... some charity or something), Lindsay is busy trying to convince the media that she's a force for positive change in the world.
Lohan is in the process of converting to Islam, and she now reportedly sees herself as a bridge between the eastern and western worlds.
But, like, a bridge that used to be famous, ya know?
In a must-read interview with The Daily Mail, Lindsay recently opened up about her religious awakening and how she hopes her new faith won't keep her from meeting with Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin. Seriously.
"It’s a process to convert to anything," Lindsay said of her conversion. "You cant just convert overnight to a religion."
Many have pointed out that you totally can convert to a religion overnight, but the really bonkers part is yet to come.
It seems Lindsay wants to have a sit-down with Trump and his BFF Putin, who are both huge fans of the Islamic faith.
"I want to try to get the word out to Donald Trump bring him over there, have him see all the positive things they are doing over there and all America can do to help as well," Lindsay said when asked about her work in the Middle East.
"He is the president – we have to join him," she insisted. "If you cant beat him, join him."
Linds says - and we can't stress enough that this is not a joke - that she would also like "Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie and Rachel McAdams" to sit in on the conference.
Brad and Angie, eh? We think it's safe to say Linds hasn't been keeping up on the news.
McAdams might seem like a strange choice, but that's Lindsay's way of multi-tasking, as she's still hoping to get that long-rumored Mean Girls sequel going.
We'd say that's a long-shot, but what do we know?
Not too long ago, we would've said a weasel-wigged reality show becoming the leader of the free world was a long shot, too.
She’s rich and white so probably not, but I can dream.
Lindsay Lohan, who has talked a lot about identifying with Islam for somebody who has admittedly never actually read the Koran, did some revamping on her Instagram.
She deleted all of her posts and replaced her bio with the phrase “Alaikum Salam.” This Arabic greeting means “Peace be unto you.”
Muslim Twitter is accepting her. Which is nice of them. If Lindsay Lohan was tryna join my clique ,I would be a lot more mocking about it. Though she has been doing humanitarian work in Turkey and in the Middle East. Maybe I should stop dragging up all that shit about her drunken racist bar rants and be as accepting as them.
Lindsay Lohan remove all her instagram photos and left Salam in her bio. May Allah Guide Her. pic.twitter.com/xXfkmyjomX
— Protein Shaykh (@ProteinShaykh) January 13, 2017
Lindsay Lohan deleted all her pictures after converts to Islam with the caption 'Alaikum salam' on her instagram. May Allah bless you ☺ pic.twitter.com/Yk04HjxJo6
— goldilocks (@thepocahontas98) January 13, 2017
— ناديا☕️ (@Nlovescoffee) January 13, 2017
Damn, am I the only bitter Western post ironic meme loving fuck out here that thinks this is a stunt to sell Vitamin Water somehow?
Lindsay Lohan is ready to be a Mean Girl again.
In a recent interview with CNN, Lindsay Lohan talked about being very interested in a Mean Girls sequel. “I have been trying so hard to do a Mean Girls 2. It is not in my hands,” she said. “I know that Tina Fey, and Lorne Michaels and all of Paramount [Pictures] are very busy. But I will keep forcing it and pushing it on them until we do it.”
Lindsay hasn’t just been wishing and hoping, she’s written a treatment for a sequel and is just waiting for a response. She also hopes Jamie Lee Curtis and Jimmy Fallon can join the cast and Lohan will not let it go. “…I will keep forcing it and pushing it on them until we do it.”
Rachel McAdams said she’d be happy to play Regina George again, if Tina Fey wrote the script. But Tina herself hasn’t showed much interest.
Also in the interview was a sane version of Lindsay Lohan. She dropped her fake accent, seems to be moving on giving energy drinks to refugees, and spoke kindly and eloquently about her humanitarian work which all sounds surprisingly helpful and legit.
Whether there’s a Mean Girls 2 or not, lets hope that this more clear headed Lohan stays around for good.
Lindsay Lohan has been in rare form lately.
Actually, she's been in the exact form we've come to expect, but it would be rare for anyone else on the planet.
To her credit, Linds has slowed down on the partying, but that doesn't mean she's any less batsh-t these days.
If anything, sober Lindsay might actually be more of a handful now that she's "settled down."
The rumors about her personal life have gone from "I heard she sleeps face-down in a pile of cocaine" to "she might actually be a spy for the Turkish government," and it seems her inner circle is becoming more and more fed up.
Page Six is reporting today that Lohan's longtime publicist Hunter Frederick has cut ties with the actress after growing weary of her increasingly erratic behavior.
“You never know what Lindsay you’re going to get," a source says of Lindsay.
"One second she’s in a great mood and wanting to get things back together, and the next you can’t say anything to make her happy,”
Apparently, a big part of the reason that so many former Lohan loyalists are jumping ship these days is that she recently went from being a wealthy psychopath to a relatively poor one.
“She’s going to have a really hard time finding a new publicist not only because she’s radioactive and no one wants to represent her, but the monthly retainer alone would render her bankrupt,” says the insider.
Plus, there's that problem of the fact talking to someone who insists on using a fake, made-up accent can get pretty irritating.
It seems that of particular annoyance to Frederick was the fact that despite her financial difficulties, Lindsay habitually turns down lucrative job offers.
"[She] just doesn’t want to take them for whatever reason,” says the insider.
We imagine that's quite frustrating for the folks whose job it is to ensure that these offers continue to roll in.
The source says Lindsay can still command up to $15,000 for a sponsored Instagram post, and the ease of making enough money to get by through social media and non-entertainment-related business ventures has basically turned her off of acting.
The fact that she's no longer bringing in enough cash to pay her staff doesn't seem to concern her.
Of course, in recent months, Lindsay's efforts to keep the cash rolling in have become increasingly desperate, leading her into the aforementioned business partnership with the Turkish government, as well as a gig promoting a Greek nightclub called - what else? - Lohan.
It's not hard to see why continuing to try and breathe new life into the career of an" actress turned club promoter and part-time social media ambassador for Turkey" doesn't hold much appeal for Frederick.