Jessica Wright can do no wrong when she’s in a bikini. Actually, she can no wrong, ever. She’ll alway be Wright. At least until she takes another last name. Then I’ll be sad, and she’ll be something else. But one thing you can’t change about her is how perfect she is. With or without swimwear. She’s the best thing to look at on land or in the water. Although I prefer her in the water because she’s less covered up and her body is a show I want to have front row seats to.
I was in need of a new hobby, and thanks to Jessica, I now know what I want to take up. Bird watching and bug collecting seems so dated, so I will take up beautiful women watching and collect the artifacts they leave behind. Staring at Jess from a distance and waiting to gather her half chewed straw for my records seems like the perfect way to spend my extra time. I thank Wright for being my inspiration that hopefully doesn’t get me arrested for misdemeanor stalking. I vow to continue my hobby until I have every discarded item Jessica has ever left behind at the beach in my possession.
Photo Credit: MEGA / Backgrid USA / Instagram
This is big. I think Alexis Ren is trying to seduce me. Why else would she be posting half naked pictures online for all the world to see? I mean, I am part of the world, so she would have to know that I was going to see them.
It is just like when an ex starts posting pictures on social media with her new significant other. What she is really trying to do is make me jealous. People do not just move on with their lives and do things without considering how I might react to it. That is why whenever I see a photo of an ex online I am reminded of how obsessed they are with me.
Alexis Ren has never even met me and yet it is clear that she is obsessed. She even got her friend to take pictures of her while she is barely wearing anything at all. If that does not say, “I want you,” then I guess I do not know women as well as I thought I did. You might as well forget all of the golden advice I have provided in regards to the mind of a woman.
Photo Credit: Instagram
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The word little can probably be used to describe anything that fits Ariana Grande properly, and anything that looks baggy is probably just regular sized. I’ll refrain from pointing out for the millionth time the irony behind her last name being Grande. That isn’t even a stage name. She must have had an ancestor who was an absolute unit. And usually people get larger as the lineage progresses. Ariana truly is an anomaly.
Seeing her in a room full of beautiful women wearing neon colors makes me feel like I am having a fever dream. All that is missing is for there to be Krang from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles hanging out as well. I do not know how he managed to squeeze his way into my fantasies, but he’s stuck around for so long at this point no fantasy feels complete without him.
I would actually be willing to trade in a couple of those other girls just so that I could get some more TMNT characters into the mix. I’d feel too overwhelmed with that V to P ratio, but if there were a couple more fictional characters I think they’d put me at ease.
Photo Credit: Instagram / MEGA
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It’s got to be hard being the daughter of Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver, at least in terms of expectations that people may have of you. As far as genetics and name recognition, though, the world is her oyster and she’s making the most out of it, and not just by shacking up with Star Lord.
At most angles, Katherine looks a lot like her Kennedy-related mother, but those teeth scream, “My dad is Arnold Schwarzenegger.” You’d think she’d be lucky enough to skate by without too much of his genetics taking over, but she’s doing the best she can with those teeth.
I kid, of course, she’s drop dead gorgeous and any religious zealot would be happy to call her his fiancée, even one as zealous as Chris Pratt. I like to think that it doesn’t affect my opinion of her that she’s going to marry that hypocrite, but the more I learn about him, the less I like him.
Katherine Schwarzenegger, on the other hand, is just the opposite. The more I learn about her, the more I feel like I appreciate and like who she is. Now if she could just get herself the one thing she lacks, and that’s better taste in men.
Photo Credit: Instagram / MEGA / Getty Images
Dani Fernandez is just begging for it by putting these photos on the internet, but the joke is on her because I am not falling for it. I have been tricked before into giving a women back massages, and I have finally learned my lesson. No matter what they say, never believe that they are going to return the favor after you have given them what they wanted. All of a sudden they’ll get real sleepy and not have the energy for it.
They will use all sorts of tricks to lure you into using your strong meat hooks on their lower backs, but do not give in. Maybe they will start writhing around on a countertop, like Dani is doing. Or maybe they will wear some clothing that will not conceal their back in order to entice you like a window display, like Dani is doing.
I think she would have been better served by going with just one tactic. It isn’t so in-your-face, so it might have snuck by someone. But pulling out all of the stops puts everyone on high alert, like when a hot woman flirts with an ugly guy in a dive bar. There has to be something up with her.
Photo Credit: Twitter / Instagram
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Oh, Sammi Hanratty. Oh, Sammi Hanratty what are you doing to us? Showing off your amazing Sammi Hanratty body in all different ways. Are we ready for this? Are we ready for super sexy Sammi Hanratty? Ready or not, here comes Sammi Hanratty! She’s here to be sexy and chew bubble gum, and she’s all out of gum.
I actually hope that’s not true because Sammi Hanratty chewing gum might actually be something we’d want to see. She could blow some big bubbles while wearing a whole number of different ensembles and look amazing the whole time. Look, I watched a fair amount of 80s movies growing up and the hot girls always chewed gum, it’s kind of thing for me. So, if Sammi Hanratty wants to be sexy and chew gum, then I’m game. Honestly, I’m game for whatever kind of sexy Sammi Hanratty wants to be. And I have a feeling she can be all different kinds of sexy.
Yeah, sexy Sammi Hanratty is here and she’s here to stay. We don’t have to be ready for it, though I think most of us are prepared. So, if you need to take in sexy Sammi Hanratty slowly, go at whatever pace you feel most comfortable. Or you could be like me and jump in the pool without knowing the temperature. You’ll warm up in due time, maybe faster thanks to Sammi Hanratty’s sexiness.
Photo Credit: Instagram / MEGA
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Did you guys know that Farrah Abraham lives in a red and pink nightmare house? It’s true, take a look at the location where this new photo shoot for Christmas lingerie or whatever was staged. It’s like something out of a Tim Burton movie.
Farrah’s looking fine, as always, but between her pink hair, the red lingerie, the pink walls, the red tree, it’s giving me a sugar rush. I feel like I’m going to go into a sugar coma at any moment as I look at these pictures. It’s just all too much, and the too muchness of it is giving me a headache.
How do you screw this one up? Honestly? This should’ve been a slam dunk: Sexy girl plus sexy lingerie equals sexy photo shoot. Instead, someone hired Dr. Seuss’ gay nephew to design this pink and red nightmare scenario.
Note to any photographers that might be shooting Farrah Abraham in the future: simplicity works. Simplicity sells. Keep it simple and the sales will follow. This doesn’t inspire me to buy lingerie, it inspires me to call my crazy Aunt Helen who lives in an old house with twelve cats and a very similar design aesthetic.
Photo Credit: MEGA / Instagram
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While the very notion of the film Welcome to Marwen creeps me out to no end, there’s nothing unsettling about the gorgeous women who star in the film, such as Diane Kruger! In the film, Steve Carell retreats to a fantasy world populated by gorgeous women like Leslie Mann, Eiza Gonzalez, and Gwendoline Christie in Barbie doll form. I’m not saying that every guy wouldn’t want a Barbie doll sized Eiza Gonzalez, but any potential toy tie-in for this film would perform better than the film itself.
Speaking of Gwendoline Christie, she was also at the premiere, looking stunning and statuesque as she always does. Leslie Mann, Janelle Monáe, and Merritt Wever can also be spotted in some of the pics, but the focus was clearly where it belonged, on Diane Kruger.
She truly is an ageless beauty who started her career—in Hollywood, at least—playing Helen of Troy, the most beautiful woman in history. If you ask me, she looks better now than she did in Troy fifteen years ago. It’s tough to go from all-time beauty to even more beautiful, and I couldn’t be happier for this trend to continue well into the future.
Welcome to Marwen is in theaters one week from Friday.
Photo Credit: Backgrid USA
I have a feeling that the friends of Lizzie Cundy’s children always wanted to hang out at their house. She might have thought it was because they had the nicest house, or the coolest video games, but it was mainly because she thinks it is acceptable to wear outfits like this. And she is right, we do accept it. We graciously accept it. I just think we should be realistic on why.
If I had had a friend whose mom looked like that when I was growing up I would have been wondering why I couldn’t see where the Brazzers logo was. Naturally, I’d be having as many sleepovers there as I could finagle in the hopes that it would up my chances of being mentored by a mature woman. But I did not have that kind of luck.
All of my friends parents looked like had been crossbred with farm animals. They were nice as could be, bless their hearts. They just left me wanting in some areas. Even if one of them wanted to be my Mrs. Robinson it wouldn’t be like I could brag about it. Even teenagers have standards for getting laid.
Photo Credit: Backgrid USA
What I’m having a hard time concealing is my feelings for her. I’m madly in love with what Madison is wearing. It’s doing a lot without doing too much. Because I think women can be classy and dress extremely attractive at the same time. Beer is the perfect paradigm of that balance. There’s not too many women who can pull off looking like they’re ready for bed and ready for a night out at the same time. I’d like to party with her until it’s time to tuck her in.
Photo Credit: MEGA / Backgrid USA / Splash News
I am in way over my head on this one, but I guess that’s what I get for lying on my application. At least the repercussions of this lie are not going to be as serious as the brief time I spent at that children’s hospital.
I think I am going to have to take a short break to ingest some alcohol. I am always more judgmental when I have a heavy buzz going.
Didn’t work. Now I’m just drunk and want to ask for a threesome.
Every one of these women’s faces is perfect, so there won’t be any decisions to be made in that arena. And their bodies are all perfect, so no scales are going to be tipped from them either.
Fuck it. I’ll give the win to Josephine Skriver, because I like her shirt. Most women would have gone for the easy points by wearing a plaid skirt since they all know guys haven’t grown out of their teenaged fantasies. Instead, she chose throw it on her upstairs, not even as a flannel either. Jasmine looks like she made her shirt out of a motel’s duvet, and Elsa couldn’t even be bothered to get out of her bed. I can’t reward that behavior.
Photo Credit: Backgrid USA
Is Puma going for some sort of subliminal messaging by putting Selena Gomez on a literal pedestal? It seems kind of redundant of them since I am assuming most of us are already doing that.
I regret ever putting her up there, because now every woman I meet is having a damned hard time living up to her. It is no small feat to outshine someone like Selena who has accomplished so much. It doesn’t even matter that I will never meet her in my life, I am still determined to wait for her. What alternative do I have? Should really I lower my expectations and get tied down to a mildly less attractive doctor or lawyer? That would be about the same as tapping out in a fight. I can’t have it, and I won’t have it.
I do not care about whichever badboy popstar she is shacked up with now, as far as I am concerned the goods aren’t damaged yet. And until the day comes when I see her post-meth smile, I refuse to admit they ever will. That is what it will take. Meth is the hard pass for me.
Photo Credit: MEGA
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When you think about things that just go great together, you think peanut butter and jelly, biscuits and gravy, and Charlotte McKinney and lingerie. Those are like the top three examples that I think pop into most everyone’s head when they think about things that go great together.
It’s strange that Charlotte McKinney and lingerie aren’t a bigger deal though. One would think that putting a gorgeous woman like Charlotte McKinney in some gorgeous looking lingerie would double everyone’s fun, but it’s not often enough that we see this all-time great combination.
Are the people in the peanut butter and jelly industry trying to keep us from learning about Charlotte McKinney and lingerie? Is big biscuits and gravy behind this nefarious cover-up? I can’t think of anyone else that might want to keep Charlotte McKinney and lingerie far apart.
I feel that some glorious day in the future, when someone says, “Two great things that go great together” that they’ll be referring to Charlotte McKinney and lingerie. It’s sort of the gold standard for great things that go great together. Someone, print up a t-shirt, that’s how these movements get started.
Photo Credit: MEGA
The 2018 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show was a rousing success—or should I say, it was an arousing success! Let’s take a look at some of the highlights from this year’s show featuring some of the hottest supermodels in the industry strutting their stuff in some of the sexiest lingerie imaginable!
First up is Bella Hadid in a push-up bra and transparent panties—though she appears to have protected against any sort of wardrobe malfunction. Kendall Jenner is up next, rocking some sort of peacock look that doesn’t seem particularly comfortable.
Toni Garrn is always a delight, and her outfit this year is appropriately sunny and cheerful. Elsa Hosk has her game face on, walking around like the absolute sexiest orrery I’ve ever seen. Lais Ribeiro looks amazing in black, but this particular outfit looks like Gene Simmons’ wet dream. She’s followed by the hellaciously hot Sui He.
We follow that up with a cheeky shot of several models’ rear ends, before Elsa Hosk comes back to bust out that million dollar diamond studded bra. Flip on for more sexy models like Adriana Lima, Alanna Arrignton, Romee Strijd, Sara Sampaio, and more. There’s no doubt this was a Victoria’s Secret show for the ages!
Photo Credit: MediaPunch / BACKGRID
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I wonder if the stress of modeling ever gets to them. I know it all seems glamorous, and that wearing a million dollar piece of clothing would sound like a dream, but I do not think I would like it. I can’t trust myself with that type of responsibility. There is a reason why I wear generic clothing, and it is because I have a tendency to ruin things.
I like my hamburgers with lots of mustard. That isn’t a crime, but it does have its drawbacks. Especially when I eat like the Tasmanian Devil when he goes off his meds. After I got done with the million dollar bra Victoria’s Secret would be lucky to get fifty grand for it.
And then there is the inherent risk involved with being around things that are expensive. Naturally that makes you a target for crime. Fencing a million dollar bra might be difficult, but I doubt that will deter thieves from trying. Even if they are able to sell it for a third of the price they will have made a handsome profit. That is why I want all nice things to be kept far from me. Best case scenario is me being used as a human shield while they try to get Elsa and her bra to the getaway car.
Photo Credit: Splash News
That butt dimple Eva Herzigova is rocking is out of this world. Normally when a butt cheek is concave the person looks emaciated and sickly looking, but I do not get that at all. This butt dimple makes it look like she is flexing 24/7. If that really is the case then there is no need to waste time wondering how she got so fit. Flexing all the time will do that for you. I on the other hand have to be more strategic about when I flex. If I suck my gut in for too long I will pass out and then I won’t be ready for when a hot girl passes by.
I am curious why the chairs at modeling shoots and film sets have not seen an upgrade in one hundred years. They have been using the same foldable chairs this whole time and we all know they cannot be comfortable. They are a step below the foldable camping chairs that we have all used. Even those have improved over the years. The have leg rests and cup holders. There is no cup holder for Eva. Where would she put her beer if she cared to drink one? It’s a human rights violation, is what it is!
Photo Credit: MEGA / Instagram
Canadian plus-size women’s clothing retailer Addition Elle has struck gold by having Ashley Graham come and model some of their super sexy lingerie. Those Canadians certainly have good taste in women, and when it comes to plus-size women, there’s no one in the world hotter than Ashley Graham right now, except perhaps for That Hansel, who is always so hot right now…
Ashley is a top notch model, who can make anything sexy, and when given something inherently sexy like lingerie, she can actually make it even sexier. That’s some real witchcraft modeling business right there.
I know that there are men out there that are turned off by Ashley, but to those men I say, “What’s your god damned problem?” I often find it funny when otherwise heterosexual men can look at a beautiful woman and trash her for being overweight. It’s absolutely astounding to me, and I think these men should have their hetero cards revoked.
Seriously, if there’s nothing sexy about Ashley Graham to you, I would recommend you take your head and place it inside a 500 degree oven. In there, you will find all of the secrets to life, and we won’t miss you.
Photo Credit: MEGA
Bella Thorne is a bona fide babe. She pretty much blew me away with her Halloween costume this year. I never thought it was possible for someone so pretty to be so scary, and still look so hot at the same time. It’s like my mind is playing tricks on me, and she’s the treat my eyes see. I can’t place my finger on exactly who she’s trying to be, but if I had to guess, I’d say a lady vampire or the bride of Frankenstein. She looks great as either one.
The scariest part about Halloween for me this year was knowing just how far away Bella was. I’d knock on an endless amount of doors just hoping that one of them ends up being hers. I’d even be willing to bring her the best candy around as an offering. And that means there will be no candy corn in the goodie bag I give her. All I ask for in return for my efforts is the opportunity for a better look. She’s so attractive it’s frightening. She could have gone as herself for Halloween if she wanted to.
Photo Credit: Instagram / Backgrid USA
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If I have a body like Liv Tyler’s when I am 41 I will…probably have to wonder what lead me to get a sex change. But Liv Tyler does look stunning. At this point I think it is safe to say she is not going to have the grandma body that her father currently has. I have withheld making that statement up until now because it is sometimes hard to tell those kinds of things. Predicting a man’s premature baldness is pretty easy. Predicting that a woman will take after her rock star father, not so much.
They certainly spared no expense on the wardrobe for this shoot. She has so many costume changes here that I wonder if they had to clear out their local lingerie store, or if Liv simply brought in her own private stock. That would certainly make things simpler; no one needs to worry about the clothes that they have on hand fitting her right, and she does not need to worry about whose cooter was the last one to be in that underwear. I always wonder if anonymous models get skeeved out wondering if the clothes have been wash recently, or if they are just relieved to have a paying gig.
Photo Credit: MEGA
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I love an athletic woman. So that should explain why I only have eyes for Ellen Alexander. And for me, it’s all eyes on her. Sometimes I even wish it was possible to install an extra pair of eyes just to get an even better look at her fantastic body. The best I can do until that happens is buy the strongest pair of bifocals available at the drugstore. That’ll have to do. I wonder would Ellen be okay with committing to me the same way she’s committed to working out. Our union could be just as lovely as her shape.
Is lingerie boxing an official sport now? I know I’ve seen highlight reels of lingerie football, and boy do I love watching the top tens for those. But boxing in the most attractive outfits possible with knockouts like Alexander would have me purchasing ringside tickets to every match. Even if Ellen is ever down for the count, she can count on me to console her after her bout. For some reason I now have the urge to run up stairs like Rocky and scream Ellen at the top of my lungs. She looks that good. And I want to train to fight for her heart.
Photo Credit: Splash News
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Hailey Baldwin’s grocery store is much more lacks in their dress policy than my own. The last time I tried shopping in there while wearing me speed I was chased out of there with a broom like I was some rat that wandered in. It was so demoralizing. In hindsight it was unfortunate that I went straight for the cheese.
Hailey does not seem like she would be familiar with that type of treatment. She could squeeze all of their bananas so hard that they bruise and the owner would still thank her for her business. Of course, the moment she leaves they would sell those same bananas at a premium, probably claiming they are Hailey’s signature style. Technically they would be right, but they might end up paying for the licensing.
Celebs are awful protective of their brand. They know that cannot go letting the little guy have a free ride on them because then the big corporations will get salty for paying them so much for their endorsements. That is why I fully support celebrities suing ma and pop stores into bankruptcy. It’s a shame, but it has to be done.
Photo Credit: Harper’s Bazaar / Instagram / InStyle
For those who enjoy their hamburgers with extra cheese, Makela Saint Fort has got the feast your eyes have been yearning for. Her chest pillows look like they would be so soft that they could turn any man into Rip Van Winkle. I do not know about the rest of you, but a quality pillow is essential for a good night’s rest in my opinion, almost more so than the mattress.
That is why I never understood why ol’ Rip was able to sleep outside for so long. I have a hard time sleeping through one night regardless of how much liquor has been ingested. Why I don’t upgrade my bedding materials is a complicated issue. See, the more welcoming my home is, the more likely people are to want to stay over. That leads to many problems, not the least of which being me having to update everything in my apartment.
It does not matter to me how uncomfortable my own bed is, sleeping next to someone else is always worse. It is like having a living, breathing uncomfortable pillow trying to sleep on you. Makela might be a workaround to that experience by turning her into the pillow.
Photo Credit: Instagram
To be called “a master” means you are at the top of your game. You’ve trained, you’ve studied, you’ve become the best of the best of the best. There is little room for doubt that Sharna Burgess is the Master of the Sexy Bralet. All the things she has done in her life have brought her to this moment, right here, right now where we will officially crown her the Master of the Sexy Dance Bralet! All hail Sharna Burgess!
Now, there will be those who will try to compete Sharna Burgess and overtake her reign, but I don’t think she’ll go quietly into that bralet night. No, she’s a master and like all masters she no doubt has a trick up her bralet. I can’t say that trick might be, maybe a sexier bralet, but I’m sure she’s ready for all those who will try and test her. Though, if people were wise, they wouldn’t bother. They would let Sharna Burgess be the Master of the Sexy Dance Bralet and go on with their lives. Yet, someone out there, right now, is looking at themselves in a mirror believing that they are the Master of the Sexy Dance Bralet… little do they know.
The only question now is how do we greet Sharna Burgess, Master of the Sexy Drance Bralet. Should we bow? Should we offer our hand? Should we kiss her bralet ring? I’m sure we’ll find an answer, but for now, let’s enjoy Sharna Burgess doing what she does best… wearing a dance bralet.
Photo Credit: Backgrid USA
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By now you’ve probably read all of the think pieces written about how Rihanna’s lingerie show during New York Fashion Week was a bastion for inclusion and showing off that all women are beautiful. We already knew that all women are beautiful, so let’s skip all of that and get to the good stuff!
Bella and Gigi Hadid, also known as Gigi and Bella Hadid, modeled some of Rihanna’s designed lingerie and it was a smoking hot show that showed off the talents of all three women involved. It takes talent to make lingerie look sexy on a sexy person, and Rihanna seems to have hit this one out of the park.
Too often, sexy women are ruined by lame or unpleasing or generally unappealing lingerie, so when you see something that lives up to the sexiness of the model sporting it, it feels like a cause for celebration.
So let’s celebrate with Rihanna and Gigi and Bella Hadid. It really feels like there should be commas in there, especially my trusty Oxford comma, but I know that’s grammatically sound. I know it doesn’t look right, but I’m leaving it alone.
Photo Credit: Splash News
It is not fair that Victoria’s Secret can get away with this sort of thing. That they can have Josephine Skriver stand around their clothes and imply that women will look more like her is infuriating. There are starry eyed men out there that are going to fall for these shenanigans, and after having maxed out the family credit card, are going to be left with nothing but disappointment after seeing their same old lady wearing the lingerie. Because, let’s face it, she is never going to wear the clothes again, and it isn’t like you can return it after that.
Once it becomes likely that bodily fluids have come into contact with fabric, stores tend to hold tight to their return policy and no amount of tears can change their minds. Trust me, I’ve tried. Seeing a grown man sob like his team just lost the Super Bowl is one of the hardest things to witness, and yet those heartless gypsies stood there like marble statues. Unmoved. The world of retail really has a way of destroying people spiritually. In my family we nicknamed my mother Retail because she used similar tactics.
Photo Credit: MEGA / Splash News / Backgrid USA
I like seeing a model smile in a photo shoot. Too many of them have that look on their face like they are smelling a constant string of farts from the photographer. Being that I have never been on a shoot, that might very well be the case. And if it is, then those dudes need to be introduced to Beano. I have never used the stuff myself, but they wouldn’t still be selling it if it didn’t work, right? I am pretty sure that is illegal.
But seeing Kate smile makes me think she either had a less flatulent photographer, or she genuinely likes modeling. Almost as if being paid exorbitant amounts of money for being attractive is not the burden that I have been led to believe it is. It is weird how that works. I get when I see an ugly person looking mopey. They are ugly and are reminded of it every time they see their reflection. That has got to be a boner killer. But the attractive people, they get to be consoled by that at all times. It wouldn’t matter what kind of bad news I received, I would just remind myself that my face had good bone structure, and move on with my day.
Photo Credit: MEGA / Splash News
Inspired by Shakespeare’s play of the same name, Playboy’s annual Midsummer Night’s Dream party is a gathering of some of the hottest women in the world showing off their sprite-like tendencies in colorfully sexy pixie costumes. For this year’s event, New Jersey native Halsey was the host and she was sporting some black lingerie that may not have been as colorful as the other costumed ladies in attendance, but was certainly no less sexy.
Anyone worried about the prospect of having to hear Playboy models speak in iambic pentameter can rest easy in knowing that the Shakespearean references begin and end with the title of the event. I’m sure that no one wants to hear a bunch of busty models try to wrestle their way through the poetic language of the Bard, and thankfully the event planners knew this was the case as well.
I’m always happy to see a Jersey girl make it in this world, especially when they’re as sexy as Halsey. She’s Jersey strong, no doubt in my mind, and I hope she continues to be a sexy ambassador of the Garden State for many years to come.
Photo Credit: Splash News
Every woman in the developed world needs to go out and get themselves that bra. I leave out undeveloped countries because I do not think they are big on bras anyway. And if money is tight then there is really no reason for them to break the bank on an unnecessary purchase. They’ll never join the first world if they keep making such irresponsible purchases based on the orders of someone online.
But I really do think women could benefit from owning a bra like that. I mean, maybe it is a normal bra and it is just the hotness of Rosie that makes it look good. I cannot really say, but if that is the case then she is doing her job as a model. She is so hot that she was able to successfully make the name Rosie no longer feel associated with O’Donnell.
If the bra was really good then they should have shown us what Rosie’s boobs look like without any support. It would really be the only way to know for sure, and that is all I care about. I just want to get to the truth of the matter.
Photo Credit: Instagram
I think it is time that I expand my musical tastes. Normally I listen to music made up of sweaty, burly men screaming about otherwise unspeakable acts. As entertaining as it sounds, it does not do much to dazzle the eyes. Sinitta, however, is a sweet treat for the eyes. And pop music is filled with more women like her. If I had given pop music a chance years ago I could have been able to appreciate her in all her youthful glory.
I don’t care much for the noise that they are producing, but that is easily remedied when you are at a concert. Under those circumstances I would have no issue with being the guy walking around with ear muffs. Anyone there who thinks I look like a dork would be the real dork for looking at me when there is a gorgeous woman on stage.
Those ear muffs would also have the additional benefit of prolonging my hearing, and not only protecting my sanity. As great as heavy metal is, it does take a toll on the old ear canal. After a show I am left with my head ringing like when my stepdad would trip on my skateboard.
Phot Credit: Splash News / Instagram
We’ve been seeing pics of Sarah Jessica Parker flaunting her fantastic fun bags in public quite often lately. While I would love to tell you that she’s finally done bearding for Broderick—which should be the title of her memoir—she’s just out and about showing lots of cleavage because of her partnership with lingerie company Intimissimi.
I like this new, sexually liberated SJP. I must be honest it always bummed me out that she never showed more than sideboob in her prime, but it kinda makes this new phase of her career much more enjoyable. I love seeing her celebrating her sexuality in a way where she used to keep it mostly under wraps.
There’s never a bad time for a nude debut, whether you’re 20 or 70, let your freak flag fly. Whip out them titties, especially if you’ve been treating them like state secrets for the better part of two decades. Let the world gaze upon their glory once and for all. Or don’t, I’m good either way, just so long as SJP keeps posing in sexy lingerie and lingerie related clothing items. She wears them well and we all know her man at home can’t possibly appreciate them.
Photo Credit: Splash News / Backgrid USA
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