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Olivia Culpo Wants YOU to Stay Home

Olivia Culpo is using the Pandemic as an excuse to show off her booty!

The former pageant girl who managed to date a Jonas brother long enough to get followers on social media, followers she decided to pivot into her influener business, where she gets paid WAY too much money from brands to promote their products, while pretending to be some fashion icon, or fitness icon, or guru who has life all figured out.

Since the Jonas brother relationship, she has turned to the NFL where she has become a “goal post” in her own right, where the athletes kick their own balls between her vertical “bars”…if you know what I mean.

The Rhode Island girl, raised with brothers, understands what guys like and I guess is partially why she’s won as hard as she’s won, assuming this is winning.

I appreciate her efforts to take the Pandemic and make it about her or her leggings with this straight up butt shot that she can position as giving helpful advice.

The whole thing is quite silly, but I’ll always stare at a booty in leggings!

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In Bed with Elsa Hosk!

Elsa Hosk has been doing her part and staying home in her $2million New York City house with her boyfriend Tom Daley and is spending a lot of her time taking selfies around her house. She shared some things that have been helpful to her time in self isolation with her millions of followers saying:

‘meditation, cooking, not sleeping longer than usual, working out, staying creative, taking pictures, drawing, painting , playing games, and checking in on family and friends.’

The sexy model put on a tight white shirt and black panties for a series of photos in her bed before heading OUT of the house to walk around a park. What the hell Elsa, you were doing so well. Get back in that house and get that self timer ready, because we can always use more pics of Elsa in her panties..

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Kaia Gerber’s Quarantine Book Recommendations

Kaia Gerber is self isolating with her supermodel mom Cindy Crawford and her Casa Migos daddy Rande Gerber, and I guess she’s feeling bored because she made a move that no other 18 year old is doing during this quarantine, she’s reading BOOKS. Kaia took her Instagram to share her favorite reads.

Kaia Gerber’s Quarantine Book Recommendations

i know we are all feeling isolated right now, so I was trying to think of easy ways we can stay connected (beyond just scrolling) and decided i’m gonna start a book club. i read a lot on my own, but would love to be able to talk to you guys about it… so every week i’m gonna post a book to my stories and the following week i’ll jump on live (sometimes with a friend, writer, guest etc.) so we can all talk about the book that week! ♥ i want to start with a new favorite I’m actually rereading right now: Normal People by Sally Rooney. download it, borrow it, order it if you can! let’s all meet here and talk next week 4/3 at 12pm PST

Here’s the list:

1. “The Bad Girl” by Mario Vargas Llosa
2. “Norwegian Wood” by Haruki Murakami
3. “This Side of Paradise” by F. Scott Fitzgerald
4. “Normal People” by Sally Rooney
5. “On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous” by Ocean Vuong
6. “On the Road” by Jack Kerouac
7. “A Little Life” by Hanya Yanagihara
8. “The Prophet” by Kalil Gibran
9. “A Season in Hell” by Arthur Rimbaud
10. “The Stranger” by Albert Camus
11. “Perfume” by Patrick Suskind
12. “A Lover’s Discourse” by Roland Barthes
13. “Symposium” by Plato
14. “Hunter S Thompson: The Last Interview and Other Conversations” by Hunter S Thompson
15. “Bright Lights Big City” by Jay McInerney
16. “Bonjour Tristesse” by Francoise Sagan
17. “Never Let Me Go” by Kazuo Ishiguro

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Kara Del Toro is Planning Her 2021 Vacation Already!

Kara Del Toro was feeling nostalgic this weekend and uploaded some throwback photos from her last trip with photographers France and Jesse – these are the minds behind some of the sexiest influencer trip photos that you see all over Instagram. Kara’s photos are from their trip together to the Bahamas, where she posed laying in the white sands in nothing but a green thong and a pair of big hoop earrings. The model is already planning her next trip for 2021, assuming this crisis is over, but until then we can reflect on Kara’s last trip with her below!

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Emily Ratajkowski Quarantining with The Fat Jew

I don’t know if Emily Ratajkowski got the memo but you’re only supposed to be self quarantining with the people you live with, unless of course The Fat Jew lives with RatCow and her husband Benjamin. The pair took to the bathtub to promote their brand of sparkling wine called BABE, they covered their tits and mangina’s in bubbles and posed for the camera. Here are some more RatCow pics to get us all though this quarantine.

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Hannah Ferguson On the Beach!

There was a time when Hannah Ferguson was a virtually unknown model, she had no following and in terms of modelling, barely existed. Her modelling agency at the time was TRUMP, back when he was running models instead of the country. She was imported to NYC from her native Texas, where her parents were both US Marines, and in NYC she was groomed to be an earner, and earner she became as she now rocks the 600k+ followers. This was in an era before NYC was in lockdown for a pandemic and you were able to network.

Her big breakthrough, or breakout performance was when Sports Illustrated named her one of their Rookie’s of the Year at a time when Sports Illustrated was still the deciding factor of whether you’d make it as a model, because there was a time when being a Sports Illustrated girl was a HUGE deal. It was before instagram basically ripped off their aesthetic and every single person and their moms, grandmas, fat neighbors were able to recreated the exact same images that Sports Illustrated had been creating for 30 or 40 years.

After her stint as a Sports Illustrated girl, which ended in 2017, the model decided to take a go at being a legitimate model, or a fashion model ,because bikini models are legit to me.

So she dropped a bunch of weight, walked for fashions shows at various fashion weeks, and now 3 years later, is doing this lookbook. Still looking good at 27.

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Elsa Hosk Works from Home

Model Elsa Hosk has been sticking to the self isolation recommendations, which I’m sure isn’t hard when you live in a $2 Million Soho loft. Anyway Elsa is taking a break from her typical work, which is being a gorgeous model and is trying her hand at a new talent. Hosk spent her weekend panting artwork on her floor, in a pair of sheer gucci pants, a pink sweater and matching pink Chuck Taylor’s, I guess this is her artist outfit.

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Emily Ratajkowski Goes Nude

bored that she’s started taking nude selfies in her home, what an amazing way to deal with boredom – especially when you have a body like EmRata.

The model is self quarantining in her New York City home with her husband Sebastian Bear-McClard and their dog Colombo. Her and Colombo have been seen walking around the city this week, so it’s safe to say Emily is not on full self isolation but hey I guess a dogs gotta pee!

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Sophie Mudd is Really Flexible

Sophie Mudd has been spending her time of self isolation by meditating and practicing yoga.

She took her talents to Instagram to show us how far she can put her foot behind her head, standing in her bathroom looking at pieces of art.

Sophie’s wearing a matching animal print set consisting of a bra top and high waisted leggings which are designed by a popular apparel brand Alo Yoga.

This is the kind of skillset that comes in handy during a recession. It separates the contenders from the phonies and allows us to focus on those that matter!

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Elsa Hosk’s Bra and Panties Isolation

Elsa Hosk is one of the hottest of the Victoria’s Secret Angels as far as I’m concerned. Which is prior to their “WOKE CAMPAIGN” of last week meant a lot because all their models are next level.

Elsa, straight from the mean streets of Sweden where she was a professional basketball player. So you know she’s got that fitness stamina needed for all your fantasies about her, before realizing that no one watched Swedish professional basketball, even though it sounds like something I would never stop watching, so she decided to do that whole Victoria’s Secret thing and she’s done it right!!

Now, if only we could get her to make us some meatballs, but I guess she’s in self quarantine where some of these half naked pics are coming from. Surviving like a survivor should!

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Nina Adgal Bored in a Bikini

Danish model Nina Agdal is bored of this whole social isolation thing already, but she’s handling this boredom in a way that benefits us all, by posting throwback bikini content to her instagram.

Nina shared a silly photo of her in a bikini ready to jump in the water in a pair of goggles along with a sexy video of her showing off exactly why she’s a high paid model. She gives a catwalk strut to the camera and spins around playfully showing us that ass in a thong.

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Alexis Ren is Self Isolating on a Boat

It’s good to see Alexis Ren is taking this social isolation thing seriously, the model packed up her bikinis and made her way out to the middle of the water in a boat. She snapped some photos of her body in a black thong bikini against the setting sun, showing off her perfect silhouette. I’m sure we’d all much rather be stuck on a boat with Alexis than stuck on our couches hiding from the public. But I guess these photos are enough to get us through another day.

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Birgit Kos In a Bikini on a Yacht

Birgit Kos has been modelling since 2010, when she was 14 or 15, which sounds creepy but is apparently the norm in the modelling industry. She is Dutch, not nearly famous enough, which almost makes her a pure and innocent 23 year old who hasn’t been tainted by the celebrity she deserves, if anything she probably feels inadequate that she doesn’t have the millions of followers, but instead rides around 140k followers, which is so low the Barista just laid off from your local cafe probably has more, but that Barista will never be as wonderful as Birgit Kos, she may start up a premium snapchat though as times are tough, while Birgit will just continue being hot while sitting on that pile of money she’s accumulated by actually being paid for being hot.

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Josephine Skriver Underboob for Numero Magazine

Josephine Skriver is amazing, probably one of the hottest Victoria’s Secret girls to ever happen.

Her story is straight out of a Sci/Fi movie, kind of like everything going on right now in the world, because I’ve read various stories about how she was created in a lab.

Her father was a gay biologist, her mother a lesbian friend who I guess acted as a surrogate, and I assume she was an experiment gone right.

I am sure the whole “designer” baby concept of creating a goddess is left out of her wikipedia page, but it’d be so boring to assume that this was just a straight IVF procedure, since she was able to go right to the top, after being virtually unknown by the Victoria’s Secret company.

I wouldn’t find it too crazy a concept that the corporation funded the research in the designer baby, creating what could be the perfect lingerie model, because as it turns out she grew into the perfect lingerie model, but I may just be losing my mind in self-quarantine. Digging a little deeper than I should into things I know nothing about.

Instead, we shall stare at her hotness!

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Gisele Bundchen’s Got a Green Thumb

Supermodel Gisele Bündchen partnered up with Marie Claire magazine to talk about her efforts in sustainability. Apparently, for her 40th birthday the model and Goodwill Ambassador plans to plant 40,000 trees in her native Brazil. Here is what she had to say about teaching her children about sustainability and caring for our planet.

“I try to lead by example in my daily life and teach my children about all the incredible things that our planet provides us. We wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for our planet; this is our only home. As a mother, I cherish the moments we get to spend in nature and learn together by doing. I love seeing my kids get excited when they find fresh eggs in our chicken coop or harvest the vegetables from our garden.”

Gisele kneeling down in the dirt, hand picking her kale tells me one thing, she makes sustainability look good.

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Alessandra Ambrosio Selling Bikini’s and Getting Wet

Alessandra Ambrosio started her own bikini line a few years ago called GAL Floripa, it looks like she’s trying to get her bikinis sold off asap now that travel is being limited and everyone is on self isolation, most of which don’t have a pool in their backyard where they can wear a new GAL Floripa bikini everyday as they tan.

So Alessandra released these photos of her getting wet in her new line of bikinis to inspire us all to strip down and spend this isolation period half naked.

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Frida Aasen is Even Hotter on Vacation

Frida Aasen is a super skinny model from Norway who previously competed in horseback riding, so you know she knows how to win, among other things. She got discovered shopping in a mall and if you flip through the photo gallery you can see exactly why.

Frida is skinny, blonde and overall just super hot. The model was spending time in Kenya on her recent vacation and shared some snaps of her in a nude bikini. Frida is my girl crush of the week!

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Topless Models in Denim for Vogue Japan

In the upcoming issue of Vogue Japan, models Candice Swanepoel, Adriana Lima, Doutzen Kroes, Edita Vilkeviciute, Joan Smalls & Sui He all took their tops off in solidarity, or in direction of the photographer. The photoshoot is meant to focus on the denim the girls are wearing however I feel like theres something else that’s drawing more of my attention.

Candice is featured throughout the shoot in different pairs of jeans and is also the cover model, she’s wearing a full Canadian Tuxedo as they call it on the cover, in a pair of jeans and matching jean jacket. Denim is in, but so are topless models.

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Kelly Gale Talks ‘PMS Tits’ on her Instagram

Kelly Gale is hilarious and also has a point to prove, she posted a photo to Instagram in a tight nude sweater bringing attention to her “massive tits” and said PMS turns her tits into massive balloons.

The Victorias Secret model posted a second snap in a nude bra and said that the infrared sauna always helps her “PMS tits get back to their normal size” but that she hasn’t had time to go. She also said her boobs grow up to 3 sizes bigger when she has her period. Are you kidding me? This is a thing? As a female I would love if this happened to me but sadly I am no Kelly Gale… All I know is if my tits grew 3 sizes and using an infrared sauna shrank them, I would be petitioning to ban infrared saunas.

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Alessandra Ambrosio Celebrates Carnaval in Style

Supermodel Alessandra Ambrosio is in her home country of Brazil celebrating Carnaval. The 38 year old looked smoking hot in a tiny rhinestone bra and matching high waisted skirt. She showed off her side boob in a sexy Instagram snap, I mean the model knows her angles am I right? Carnaval is basically like celebrating Lent in Brazil, but in a way more fun way than going to your local church to get ashes rubbed on your head. Brazil knows how to celebrate Jesus.

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Alessandra Ambrosio in a Bikini Top for Carnaval!

I know what you are thinking and that is that these pictures of Alessandra Ambrosio look photoshopped.

I mean is she really even in Brazil for Carnaval or is this a green screen used to fulfill brand sponsorship obligations. It just doesn’t look real.

Alessandra also looks younger than ever, which we always welcome, not that the Victoria’s Secret model who has been in our life for what feels like forever, doesn’t always look great, and not just for her age, but this doesn’t seem right. Maybe it is some weird filter? The internet can be misleading, like that time I met a girl while gaming, only to realize Girl actually meant GUY IN REAL LIFE. these things happen, but at least I wasn’t lied to.

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Bregje Heinen for Frederick’s of Hollywood

It’s been a while since I’ve seen Bregje Heinen in anything. I remember laughing about her name, since I am not Dutch, pronouncing it or trying to pronounce it made some weird and unappealing sounds, when contrasted to how hot she is, it’s comedic.

I don’t know if that is Dutch Shaming, but if it is, I can issue an apology on my social media at a later date, which I assume will erase it.

As it turns out, Bregje Heinen is still working! She’s still out there being hot. This time for Frederick’s of Hollywood which as you may or may not know was an iconic trashy lingerie store in LA, that faced hard times, and ended up hiring Megan Fox as an investor or creative director, in efforts to bring life back into the brand.

Now they are bringing this!

The shot takes place in a Laundromat, not my kind of Laundromat that gives me Corona Virus, meth and the occassional used condom on my bed sheets from the dryer, but rather an Aspirational Laundromat all us Laundromat dwellers derserve featuring this Bregje Heinen amazingness!!!

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