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Constance Wu Really Worked in a Strip Club for ‘Hustlers’

I’m not entirely sure is Constance Wu is the most-hated person in Hollywood, but she seems like a strong contender since you don’t hear much about Anne Hathaway anymore. All it takes is one prolonged social media meltdown about how much you hate having to do the TV show that made you famous and suddenly people don’t like you for some reason.

Jared Leto, another strong contender for biggest dipshit in Hollywood, is famous for his method acting, but Wu one-upped him by actually becoming a stripper to research her role in Hustlers. Here’s what she told Kelly Clarkson, via Page Six.

“I went undercover. I gave lap dances to strangers.”

That’s a big part of the job. If I went to strip club and had a chance to get dry-humped by Constance Wu during a hair metal song I’d take it.

The actress said she put fake tattoos on her neck and added hairpieces, as Clarkson said: “You are so method.”

Wu replied: “You can’t duplicate it, the first time you walk into a club and say ‘Hey, I would like to have a job here’ and then you go work that night.”

Yeah, normally for Candice she gets forced to work and bitches about it on social media while still talking about how important the show she was hoping would get cancelled is.

The post Constance Wu Really Worked in a Strip Club for ‘Hustlers’ appeared first on The Blemish.

Robert Pattinson’s Batsuit Is on Display

But where are the batnips?

The post Robert Pattinson’s Batsuit Is on Display appeared first on The Blemish.

‘Parasite’ Wins Big At Oscars

Ladies and gentlemen, let’s check the scoreboard and see if Quentin Tarantino made the best movie of the year for like the seventh time only to once again be robbed of both Best Picture and Best Director, two awards he should have won enough to be able to swim in like Scrooge McDuck.

Yup.

The big news at last nights Oscar awards was Korean comedy-thriller Parasite’s relative dominance, coming away with statues for Best Picture, Best Director, Best Original Screenplay and Best International Feature Film. Bong Joon-Ho’s film is a lesson to Hollywood that making an overtly left-wing political film and marketing it as being a good movie is going to pay off a lot better than making a mediocre-to-bad film and marketing it as having good politics.

The moment of the night, though, was Joaquin Phoenix winning his Best Actor Oscar for Joker and then going on a crazy rant about veganism. This was the cause of much consternation on social media among film critics too dumb to realize Joker and Parasite were making the exact same political points. Still mad they didn’t get a shooting to write about.

For some reason Eminem performed ‘Lose Yourself’ and Martin Scorsese fell asleep during it, which was absolutely the right call and maybe the best thing Scorsese has done since Goodfellas.

Renee Zellweger picked up her second Oscar, the first for Lead Actress, for Judy, a movie no one saw or had even heard of before tonight but is apparently about the life of Judy Garland.

While my man QT was robbed once again and you fuckers had better recognize him when his next and final film is released, he did pick up Best Production Design for Once Upon a Time… in Hollywood and Brad Pitt got a well-deserved Best Supporting Actor.

Rounding out the major awards was Laura Dean getting Best Supporting Actress for Marriage Story because I guess they have to give it to someone and Natalie Portman’s dumbass cape embroidered with the names of all the female directors who weren’t good enough to be nominated for an Oscar. You know, they say it’s an honor just to be nominated, but can you name a single movie that was nominated and didn’t win in 2018? Do you even remember who won? Has anyone mentioned that dumbass Three Billboards movie that had all that Oscar hype even once since March 4th, 2018? The answer is no because it lost Best Picture to a movie where a lady fucks a fish.

The post ‘Parasite’ Wins Big At Oscars appeared first on The Blemish.

Joaquin Phoenix Got Emotional Bringing Up His Deceased Brother River Phoenix in His Oscars Speech

Joaquin Phoenix won his first ever Oscar tonight for Best Actor in Joker tonight. If you’ve watched his recent acceptance speeches, he’s brought up veganism, climate change, lack of diversity in Hollywood and other issues.

In his Oscar speech tonight, he basically said people shouldn’t drink milk in their coffee. Something about us impregnating cows to steal their milk meant for calves? Bro, it’s what the good lord wanted.

But at the end of his speech, he got choked up and quoted a lyric from his deceased brother, River Phoenix.

Run to the rescue with love and peace will follow.

River, Joaquin’s brother, died Halloween night 1993 outside The Viper Room from a drug overdose, a club once owned by Johnny Depp.

That’s a good way to end his speech, honoring his brother.

He could’ve also taken the other approach, accept the Oscar as Joker.

The post Joaquin Phoenix Got Emotional Bringing Up His Deceased Brother River Phoenix in His Oscars Speech appeared first on The Blemish.

Oscar Isaac Is Done With ‘Star Wars’

I think we all had a pretty good idea that the cast of the latest Star Wars trilogy was pretty much done with Star Wars after The Rise of Skywalker. There’s a fierce debate over which trilogy was worse, the sequels or the prequels, and that basically means no one is a winner. And after John Boyega was flooded with racist attacks from Reylo shippers, fans who primarily care about seeing Rey and Kylo Ren be romantically involved, only to see the media paint them as the victims a week later, well, do you really think he’d come back for more of that?

Oscar Isaac isn’t coming back to Star Wars either.

TMZ caught up with him and he doesn’t sound very enthusiastic about it.

Not many people involved in Star Wars, outside of Mark Hamill, Carrie Fisher and Billy Dee Williams ever seemed all that enthusiastic about returning to the series. Harrison Ford famously wanted Han Solo to be killed off at the end of The Empire Strikes Back, Sir Alec Guinness thought the entire thing was ridiculous and Hayden Christensen didn’t make it out of the prequels with his career intact,

What a mensch to sign all those autographs, though.

Disney recently announced that it sees Star Wars as more of a TV property than a movie property now, which makes a lot of sense because The Mandalorian and The Clone Wars were actually good. They’ve quietly cancelled two Star Wars movie trilogies with the Game of Thrones guys and Rian Johnson, but everyone loves Baby Yoda.

Johnson’s Poe was a bright spot in the newest trilogy, but we were likely never going to see more of those characters anyway, especially after what a mess it ended up being plot-wise. It’s far easier just to plant a flag in it and build entirely new stories in the same galaxy far, far away than to try and make any kind of sense out of what the last three films did.

The post Oscar Isaac Is Done With ‘Star Wars’ appeared first on The Blemish.

Cameron Diaz Retired and No One Noticed

Cameron Diaz was a superstar from the start, jumping from modeling to big gigs in movies like The Mask and There’s Something About Mary.

She maintained a relatively high profile through the 2000s, but her star has been on the downfall in the past decade. The final blow came when she and Good Charlotte guitarist Benji Madden had a kid, and Diaz decided to be Mrs. Domestic.

According to Page Six, a friend of Diaz’s says that motherhood trumps everything else in the actress’ life:

“They tried forever to get pregnant. They did acupuncture, special diets, IVF, supplements. They went to the best fertility doctors. They tried to adopt. Nothing worked. But for Cam, this was her priority over acting, doing books, any kind of career. She was compelled.”

An unnamed and likely entirely fictional “studio executive” is quoted as saying:

“There was no studio who wouldn’t hire her [when she was still acting]. “They’d hire her now. They’d develop projects especially for her. But she always passes.”

As for Diaz, it’s clear that she is enjoying taking on a new role as a mother. She recently uploaded a message to Instagram gushing about her new baby and asking her fans for privacy.

View this post on Instagram

❤❤❤ @benjaminmadden

A post shared by Cameron Diaz (@camerondiaz) on

Can we be honest? Good for Cameron Diaz, I’m glad she’s happy, but does anyone care? Honestly, what was the last Cameron Diaz movie that anyone talked about? There is nothing wrong with the actress choosing to live a normal life with her family, but we shouldn’t act like it’s going to be a significant loss to the cinematic world.

Where Diaz is at in her career is also a rough spot for actresses, so it may be that she is playing it smart and taking this time away from the spotlight to return to more mature rolls later. If she does, you can bet that I won’t watch those movies either. Until then, enjoy your retirement Cameron, and we’ll all continue to forget that you were once one of the highest-paid actresses in Hollywood.

The post Cameron Diaz Retired and No One Noticed appeared first on The Blemish.

Joaquin Phoenix Had Pretty Touching Words for Heath Ledger in His SAG Acceptance Speech

Joaquin Phoenix never seemed like the type to care about awards, but here we are. The actor won the 2020 Best Actor Award for The Joker at last night’s SAG Awards. Very well-deserved.

Phoenix acknowledged all the other nominees including Christian Bale for Ford v Ferrari, Leonardo DiCaprio in Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, Adam Driver in Marriage Story and Taron Egerton in Rocketman in his speech.

The best part was his shout out to Heath Ledger at the end of his speech.

And really I’m standing here on the shoulders of my favorite actor, Heath Ledger.

It’s sad to think about what Heath Ledger could’ve become if he had lived. We’re reminded of his presence whenever Michelle Williams is on stage or in movies. It’s ironic too, since Williams supposedly never wants to bring up Ledger, so his memory won’t be sullied, yet she’s rumored to be a conniving, scheming person. Meaning she fits right into Hollywood.

In his speech, Phoenix also recounted how every actor in Hollywood would always lose roles to Leonardo DiCaprio.

When I started acting again, going to auditions I’d always get to like the final callback and I think many people know what that’s like. And there would always be like two other guys that I was up against them. And we’d always lose to this one kid. And no actor would ever say his name because it was like too much.

But every casting director would whisper, “It’s Leonardo, it’s Leonardo.” Who is this Leonardo?

Well, now DiCaprio’s over 40, so you won’t be losing roles to him anymore.

The post Joaquin Phoenix Had Pretty Touching Words for Heath Ledger in His SAG Acceptance Speech appeared first on The Blemish.

Hopefully, Jared Leto Doesn’t Ruin the New ‘Morbius’ Movie

Judging by the new Morbius trailer released today, it seems as though Jared Leto will redeem himself to comic book fans everywhere with his second foray into the world. This time he’s ditching DC and sliding over to the more successful Marvel Studios to play an anti-hero that is unknown to many.

Fans of the comics or the popular ’90s Spider-Man TV series will remember Michael Morbius as a scientist who accidentally turned himself into a vampire while trying to find a cure for his rare blood disease.

Morbius has always been an anti-hero similar to what Sony did with their Venom movie. Though he’s cursed with this affliction that forces him to drink blood to survive, he tries to focus that bloodlust on the bottom dwellers of New York. Unfortunately, his lust for blood sometimes overpowers him, driving him to attack undeserving victims which is where Spider-Man comes in.

Morbius will most likely follow in the footsteps of Venom and Joker and skip having a protagonist at all, instead choosing to solely focus on the main character and the moral dilemmas they face. However, we do know that Matt Smith will be playing the villain Loxias Crown and the trailer shows a quick clip of Michael Keaton, most likely reprising his role as Adrian Toomes from Spider-Man Homecoming.

In the trailer, we can see a lot of dark cinematography which is exactly what we want to see from a movie of this nature. Since this is the first trailer, they don’t give us much to work with. Instead, they use the trailer to introduce the character to everyone who has most likely never heard of this character. It isn’t until the end that we see Leto in his full Morbius transformation and I have to say that translated Morbius’ look to live-action incredibly well.

There is one issue that is making comic fans nervous, and that is the actor. Leto was largely panned as the Joker with many fans questioning if he had ever read a Batman comic in his life. The actor has been in a number of iconic roles and solidified his place in Hollywood, but his take on The Joker was abysmal. Hopefully, Leto has learned his lesson and took some time to study the intricacies of the Michael Morbius character so he can deliver the performance that fans will expect.

There is a lot riding on this film. Venom was a commercial success and it already has a sequel on the way. If Morbius can deliver, it’s likely we will see a lot more of these stand-alone films and the possibility of the long-rumored Sinister Six movie. Morbius doesn’t have an official release date, but it is slated to be released sometime this summer.

The post Hopefully, Jared Leto Doesn’t Ruin the New ‘Morbius’ Movie appeared first on The Blemish.

2020 Oscar Nominations: See The Full List of People Who Will Lose to Quentin Tarantino

The Oscars are less than a month away and if you’ve been waiting for a comic book movie to clean up at the Oscar nominations, today is your lucky day because Joker is the most-nominated film with nods coming in 11 categories. What’s that, Marvel stans? This isn’t what you meant when you said comic book movies deserve to be taken seriously? Well, Avengers: Endgame got nominated for Best VFX, so you’ve got that.

A lot of people are mad specifically about Joker being nominated for Best Picture over Booksmart, but having seen both movies, those people are idiots. Booksmart is just American Pie without the pie. I mean, it’s fine, but there’s nothing new or groundbreaking in this movie compared and we’ve seen it dozens of times, from Porky’s to Can’t Hardly Wait to Superbad.

But really, who cares who the nominees for Best Picture and Best Director are anyway, you’re just arguing about whose name you’re going to hear before Quentin Tarantino wins. Yes, that’s right, your official Blemish prediction is that is finally QT’s year and Once Upon a Time in Hollywood is the film that’s going to get Tarantino the Oscars he’s deserved since Pulp Fiction. It got 10 nominations, and I can see it winning basically all of them except Best Actor, which Joaquin Phoenix should be clearing space on his mantle for.

It’s important to remember that the Academy is not infallible. For example, Forrest Gump beat Pulp Fiction for best picture in 1994. I realize we all had some weird form of brain damage in 1994 that made us think Forrest Gump was a good movie, but still, did anyone ever really think it was better than Pulp Fiction? Or even The Shawshank Redemption, for that matter? But that aside I can assure you that Joker deserves to be nominated more than whatever movie you’re mad about that isn’t Uncut Gems.

Here are the major category nominees, you can see the full list of nominees here.

Best motion picture of the year nominees:

FORD V FERRARI

THE IRISHMAN

JOJO RABBIT

JOKER

LITTLE WOMEN

MARRIAGE STORY

1917

ONCE UPON A TIME… IN HOLLYWOOD

PARASITE

Achievement in directing nominees:

THE IRISHMAN – Martin Scorsese

JOKER – Todd Phillips

1917 – Sam Mendes

ONCE UPON A TIME… IN HOLLYWOOD – Quentin Tarantino

PARASITE – Bong Joon Ho

Performance by an actor in a leading role nominees:

Antonio Banderas in PAIN AND GLORY

Leonardo DiCaprio in ONCE UPON A TIME… IN HOLLYWOOD

Adam Driver in MARRIAGE STORY

Joaquin Phoenix in JOKER

Jonathan Pryce in THE TWO POPES

Performance by an actress in a leading role nominees:

Cynthia Erivo in HARRIET

Scarlett Johansson in MARRIAGE STORY

Saoirse Ronan in LITTLE WOMEN

Charlize Theron in BOMBSHELL

Renée Zellweger in JUDY

Performance by an actor in a supporting role nominees:

Tom Hanks in A BEAUTIFUL DAY IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD

Anthony Hopkins in THE TWO POPES

Al Pacino in THE IRISHMAN

Joe Pesci in THE IRISHMAN

Brad Pitt in ONCE UPON A TIME…IN HOLLYWOOD

Performance by an actress in a supporting role nominees:

Kathy Bates in RICHARD JEWELL

Laura Dern in MARRIAGE STORY

Scarlett Johansson in JOJO RABBIT

Florence Pugh in LITTLE WOMEN

Margot Robbie in BOMBSHELL

The post 2020 Oscar Nominations: See The Full List of People Who Will Lose to Quentin Tarantino appeared first on The Blemish.

Did You Know Salma Hayek Was Once Attacked by a Monkey?

Salma Hayek got a lot of acclaim for her lead role in the biopic Frida. I always thought it was weird because if you’re going to cast Salma Hayek just to put a bunch of makeup on her to make her less attractive, just hire Penelope Cruz, she’s already a less-attractive Salma Hayek.

Hayek got an Oscar nomination for the film, but she didn’t win even though the years before and after were won by hot actresses in make-up to look uglier. It was a whole thing for a while.

In addition to that, Hayek told Vogue that she got attacked by a monkey during the filming.

How is she still that hot? Anyway, here’s what she said about the monkey, via Fox News.

“This next one is 2002 when I did ‘Frida’ and this was in Vogue, and I was very proud to be part of Vogue for the first time in my life. This monkey, who was named Tyson, actually attacked me during the filming of ‘Frida,’ and I was really severely injured,” she described.

“But I was brave enough to let him come back and work again in the movie, and then I still did a photoshoot with him for Vogue afterward,” Hayek added. “I was really hoping he wouldn’t go for my face.”

I feel like every actor should have a good “the time a monkey tried to kill me” story.

Hayek also said she owned a monkey like that simp Ross on Friends. Antonio Banderas bought them for her after they were cut from Desperado.

“The next day was my birthday and he [Banderas] gave me this big box and my monkeys came out of it. He gave me the monkeys… They lived for a long time and very happily,” she explained.

“Mariachi was so nice to me, he was kinda in love with me; he wanted to be with me all the time and of course Carolina was jealous. That witch was awful to me; she was so possessive. She’d go crazy when we were hugging, and so we had a little bit of a (love) triangle,” Hayek joked.

Hayek made a joke about being in a love triangle with a monkey, so I’m sure some internet commenter with more time than brains will be along any minute to say that’s basically the same as bestiality.

The post Did You Know Salma Hayek Was Once Attacked by a Monkey? appeared first on The Blemish.

Biggest SALE 2020 – WWII Navy G-1 Flight Bomber Genuine Distress Brown Leather Jacket!

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A Not So Quiet Place

Finally, a sequel to the film about how people should shut up.

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Sonny & Cher?

D’oh Boy posted a photo:

Sonny & Cher?

Nope, Sunny & Chair.

Harrison Ford 1982 Rick Deckard Blade Runner Trench Coat

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Paul Rudd is Officially as Old as Wilford Brimley Was in ‘Cocoon’

The Brimley/Cocoon Line is 18,530 days, the exact age Wilford Brimley was when the movie Cocoon opened in theaters. If you don’t understand why this is significant, Cocoon is a movie about really old people in a retirement home. Brimley was not a retiree in the film, but let’s just say he was no spring chicken, either.

A Twitter account, @BrimleyLine, keeps track of when celebrities pass this line and yesterday, December 30th, was Paul Rudd’s day.

Here’s a picture of Brimley at age 50 for comparison.

Celebrities take way better care of themselves today.

Brimley even sent out a congratulatory tweet.

Brimley was 50 in Cocoon, if you’re wondering.

Salma Hayek crossed the line three years ago, and Jennifer Lopez is a few months away.

Also, Arnold Schwarzenegger crosses the line over 20 years ago, around the time he was in Jingle All The Way.

People love to joke about all the reasons why celebrities today look younger, like Paul Rudd being a vampire, but the answer is pretty unexciting: Botox was first used cosmetically in 1996 and approved by the FDA for this usage in 2002. They’re just getting more work done and doctors are better at it now because of all the practice they had on Joan Rivers.

The post Paul Rudd is Officially as Old as Wilford Brimley Was in ‘Cocoon’ appeared first on The Blemish.

‘Star Wars’ Fans Got ‘Rose Tico Deserved Better’ to Trend on Twitter… But Did She?

Now that the Star Wars sequel trilogy has wrapped we can say, with certainty, that it is absolute garbage. Just awful. I didn’t even mention this in my review, but the new movie has a scene where the Millennium Falcon crew is stuck in quicksand and then the droid gets pulled under and they’re all like “BB-8!” because they’re worried the robot will suffocate.

Still, perhaps the worst of the five new movies Disney has made is The Last Jedi. There’s a good reason that The Rise of Skywalker didn’t really pick up any of the plot threads left from that film, but Rose Tico, played by Kelly Marie Tran, made a strong impression on fans. Many of those fans were disappointed that instead of being the hero who blows up the Death Star like Lando Calrissian, Rose Tico only has around a minute of screen time in the new film, and they took to Twitter and got the hashtag “#RoseTicoDeservedBetter” trending.

And that got me wondering… does she?

Looking at the hashtag, a lot of people mainly seem upset because Rose is the first Asian main character in a Star Wars movie. I’m sympathetic to this and it might actually be the strongest argument in favor of the character, given that a lot of the political messaging behind Star Wars was born out of George Lucas’s opposition to the Vietnam war. And everyone wants to see themselves in movies, especially popular movies. Sure, it would be better if those movies were actually good but let’s not get too greedy.

Less convincing to me is arguments that the character was particularly good. She was arguably the best part of The Last Jedi, but that’s a pretty low bar to clear. Kelly Marie Tran did the best she could with the hand she was dealt, but it was a really bad hand. Most of the movie was her, Finn and Poe learning a valuable lesson about listening to old white ladies and then saying “Love Trumps Hate.”

I suppose the question here is whether or not an expanded role in Episode IX would actually be “better.” I have trouble believing it would be. It’s not a good movie, and having a bigger role in a bad movie is not really doing right by someone.

There’s a joke that Woody Allen tells in Annie Hall (an actual good movie) that goes “Two elderly women are at a Catskill mountain resort, and one of ’em says, “Boy, the food at this place is really terrible.” The other one says, “Yeah, I know; and such small portions.” That’s what this hashtag is; complaining that something you like was it more prominently featured in something terrible.

The post ‘Star Wars’ Fans Got ‘Rose Tico Deserved Better’ to Trend on Twitter… But Did She? appeared first on The Blemish.

If You Want to See Robert Pattinson Do Porn, Pray His ‘Batman‘ Movie Flops

I’m not entirely sure if Robert Pattinson is going to turn out to be the next Leonardo DiCaprio, the pretty boy teen heartthrob who turned out to be an incredible actor or another Joey Lawrence, the pretty boy teen heartthrob who turned out… not to be Leonardo DiCaprio.

Like all British actors of his generation Pattinson got his start in Harry Potter, where he played Cedric Diggory, who was made out to be the coolest kid in wizard school but he was a Hufflepuff so he sucked and died.

After that Pattinson was cast in Twilight, and then he spent the next decade making tiny indie films to apologize for having done Twilight.

Now he’s playing Batman and he tells The Guardian that if that doesn’t  work out, he’s going to switch to porn like Maitland Ward.

And what will he do if all of his worst case scenarios play out? If he never gets Batman’s vibe? He thinks for a minute, then tosses back the head and gives the big giggle. “Porn,” he says. “But art house porn.”

I thought he had already done porn but it turns out the Bel Ami movie he was in is different from the gay twink porn Bel Ami movies.

Pattinson also said the reason he didn’t do any big blockbusters before now is, well, no one asked him.

This hasn’t been about escape. And he hasn’t been trying to defy our expectations. Not strategically, anyway. He just hasn’t been offered the roles. “Nothing ever came up for a big movie!” He did audition for Scorsese, and once for the Coen brothers, “but the whole world auditioned for those parts,” he says, and who was he to walk up to Scorsese and demand work?

Pattison actually seems really charming, and I’m thinking probably more Leonardo than Joey Lawrence. But I kind of want to see his hog, so let’s go failure!

The post If You Want to See Robert Pattinson Do Porn, Pray His ‘Batman‘ Movie Flops appeared first on The Blemish.

Justified Timothy Olyphant (Raylan) Trench Coat Jacket

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Justified Timothy Olyphant (Raylan) Trench Coat Jacket

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Assassin’s Creed Syndicate Jacob Frye Wool Coat

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Jason Derulo’s Penis So Big in ‘Cats’ They Had to CGI It Out

Cats didn’t want fans distracted by Jason Derulo’s huge self-described “anaconda” so they CGI’d it out. That’s according to Derulo.

Derulo appeared on Andy Cohen’s SiriusXM show, “Radio Andy”. On the show, he mentioned how the studio took away his dick.

“They CGI’d the dick out. Yeah, they did CGI. I noticed that.”

Last nonth, Derulo posted his massive penis to Instagram. Instagram got mad and made him take it down, but the Internet lives forever.

The amazing thing is that he says he wasn’t even fully hard.

“I might have had a semi. An arousal looks different…when it’s fully aroused, it’s a different beast.”

If that was my dick, my whole Instagram would be a collage of my penis wrapped around my waist.

Derulo’s gotten a lot of mileage out of discussing his huge hog. In an interview, he talked about how the actors in Cats had all their dicks in each other’s faces. At least, that was my interpretation?

“It was interesting ‘cause we had to wear these—they were like spandex, you know? So, it was, like, very tight, you know? So, it was bulging everywhere. Bulges everywhere and balls everywhere and everything you could possibly imagine. So, we were naked in front of each other, so we got very close. And you had to be pretty confident in yourself, you know what I’m saying, to come out every single day, and you know, for months and months to see each other—all of each other.”

As I said, dicks in each other’s faces.

I have no clue what Cats is about. It started off as a Broadway play and now is a movie? Sounds like a great time if you get off on watching people dressed as cats with huge penises.

The post Jason Derulo’s Penis So Big in ‘Cats’ They Had to CGI It Out appeared first on The Blemish.

Altered-Carbon-Joel-Kinnaman-Coat-1

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ALMASY TRENCH COAT COSPLAY COSTUME

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Hold Your Nuts, ‘Jackass’ Coming Back for a Fourth Movie

“If you’re gonna be dumb, you gotta be tough.” Anyone who knows Jackass knows that song. And that Jackass crew is too tough. That’s why it’s just been announced they’ll be back for a fourth installment. Plus, you know, they probably need money.

The last time we saw the crew was in Jackass 3D. That one was released in 2010(!). It had great bits like penis baseball and poo cocktail supreme. Johnny Knoxville, Bam Margera and crew first hit the big screen in Jackass: The Movie back in 2002, then Jackass Number Two in 2006.

Knxoville, one of the breakout stars and considered kinda the lead guy, got a bunch of roles after the first movie. Lately though, it’s been sporadic for him. He played a pastor in 2019’sWe Summon the Darkness, a movie about three kids who take a road trip to a heavy metal show and encounter some killings. To be honest, kinda wanna watch this.

Margera, meanwhile, seems like he’s been trying to stay sober for the longest time. Every few months, you read about him drunk and doing things drunk people do, like sitting on a hotel lobby floor and going off on some drunk tirade.

This will be the perfect time to indoctrinate a new generation of Jackass followers. That Jackass crew is kinda old now, so this could be the last time you see them.

The unnamed fourth Jackass movie comes out March 5, 2021.

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Adam Driver Storms Out of Interview After Being Exposed to Adam Driver’s Acting

One of the most basic things about being in movies is that when you go on shows to promote them, those shows play a clip from the movie. You know, unless you’re Paul Rudd and then they just play a clip of Mac and Me.

Doing this kind of publicity is part of the job to the extent that it’s generally written into your contract.

But Adam Driver doesn’t like it when people play clips of him in interviews, and to prove it, he stormed off the set of an interview with Terry Gross, of NPR’s Fresh Air, like a baby who needed a new diaper.

If you’re not familiar with Terry Gross and Fresh Air, she is an extremely well-respected and very good interviewer who nevertheless is the person SNL was making fun of in that ‘Schweddy Balls’ sketch with Alec Baldwin.

You would think they would have been making fun of The Splendid Table’s longtime host Lynne Rossetto Kasper, and they were, but that’s 100% Terry Gross, too.

What I’m saying is that Terry Gross isn’t exactly known for putting people through the wringer. She’s certainly capable of it, but it’s not what you expect when you’re listening to NPR on the way to… I’m gonna go out on a limb and say either yoga or Whole Foods.

Some people have been pointing out that Adam Driver really doesn’t like watching his own performances, and that Fresh Air should have known that, but Terry Gross told him they were going to play the clip so he could take his headphones off and put them back on when the clip was over; Driver took his headphones off and walked out of the studio instead.

Honestly, you shouldn’t be on Driver’s side here. If he can’t deal with a radio show playing 20 seconds of Marriage Story, how is he handling the fact that most of the world is going to watch him in a terrible Star Wars movie In a few days.

The bottom line is ‪that everyone has to do unpleasant shit at their job and most of us don’t get paid millions of dollars for it. You got to be in Star Wars, you can take of your headphones for 20 seconds and not be a little bitch.‬

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Super Nerd Kumail Nanjiani got Super Ripped for Super Flick

You may have seen Kumail Nanjiani in the movie Stuber, or, if you were sick the weekend that was in theaters, in The Big Sick where he plays a 20-something comic who looks 55 for some reason. If you did catch him in these films, you may have noticed he’s a schlubby little dude whose wife has complained about him wearing baggy, unstylish clothes to hide his figure.

Then he got cast in a Marvel movie.

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I never thought I’d be one of those people who would post a thirsty shirtless, but I’ve worked way too hard for way too long so here we are. You either die a hero, or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain. I found out a year ago I was going to be in Marvel’s Eternals and decided I wanted to transform how I looked. I would not have been able to do this if I didn’t have a full year with the best trainers and nutritionists paid for by the biggest studio in the world. I’m glad I look like this, but I also understand why I never did before. It would have been impossible without these resources and time. So big thanks to @grantrobertsfit who started working with me at the beginning of the year and made me understand true physical pain for months and months. Then, once we started shooting, a massive thanks to @davidhigginslondon and his team (@ellispartridge, @thebeardypt, @tomcheesemanfitness) for training me almost every day and making me strong, limber and injury free. I can almost touch my toes now. (And thank you for forcing me to do cheat meals David.) Matthews Street Catering for their delicious and healthy meals. And finally, the biggest thanks goes to @emilyvgordon for putting up with me complaining and talking about only working out and dieting for the last year. I promise I’ll be interesting again some day. #thirstyshirtless (Photo by @markupson.) (edit: I left off one very important person: @lancecallahan who trained me for 6 years and helped me build the foundation I could use to do this. Thank you!)

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That right, much like Chris Pratt, Kumail got super jacked to be in a comic book movie.

I’m gonna go out on a limb and guess he’s playing the gay character. There’s really no other reason to get that cut to play a minor character in an ensemble CGI film.

Well, aside from having an entire team of trainers and dietitians to get you that fit on Disney’s dime. I’d do the same thing if I were him. Take that shit right out of Bob Iger’s paycheck.

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Here’s Your 80s ‘Wonder Woman’ Because the 80s are So Hot Right Now

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‘Frozen 2’ Now Responsible For More Real-World Violence Than ‘Joker’

For a month there was no escape from the multitude of takes about how DC’s Joker was going to cause real-world violence and be the catalyst for some sort of incel-uprising, and then nothing happened. Well, aside from Joker nipping at the heels of Captain Marvel at the worldwide box office nothing happened.

But now the media has finally gotten some violence caused by a movie. Since that movie was Frozen 2, it probably doesn’t make for great headlines for most sites. Except this site, this is right in my wheelhouse.

The Independent reported that a brawl broke out among a hundred British teens, some of whom were armed with machetes for some reason.

“Dozens of officers were sent to the complex after a 999 call just after 5.30pm reporting a group of youths with machetes,” a spokesperson for West Midlands Police said.

“Two machetes were seized during the trouble, which saw pockets of fighting and seven police officers left with minor injuries as they dealt with the crowds in and around the cinema.”

I know Josh Gad’s voice is annoying but bloody hell.

Investigators said they were working to understand the reason behind the disorder, which bears the hallmarks of an organised fight between rival groups.

When you’re a Jet you’re a Jet all the way, from your first cigarette to your last dying day.

Did anyone have “massive gang fight at a Disney movie” in the office pool?

Really, I shouldn’t be joking about this, but no one was seriously hurt and after the freak out around Joker, you have to admit it’s pretty funny Frozen was the thing to push people over the edge.

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‘Crazy Rich Asians’ Producers Told Brenda Song She Wasn’t Asian Enough to Audition

There was a lot of buzz around Crazy Rich Asians when it hit theaters because never before had Asians gotten to headline a big-budget version of a Hallmark movie. It was a veritable who’s who of Asians in Hollywood, even Ken Jeong was in it, thankfully without getting his dick out.

Brenda Song wasn’t in it, though, despite being one of the more recognizable Asian actors working today. The former Disney Star has been all over the place, include the new Hulu series Dollface with Kat Dennings. Apparently, the reason that the producers of Crazy Rich Asians didn’t think Song was Asian enough.

Yeah, let that sink in. If she’s not Asian, why have I been fetishizing her, hunh? Answer that one, smart guy.

Here’s what Song told Teen Vogue:

“A lot of people don’t know this, but I never got to read for Crazy Rich Asians, ever,” she says. A fan of the books, she asked her managers if she could get a meeting or audition for any possible part. Her managers came back to her with the message from Crazy Rich Asians that she wasn’t right for a role in their eyes.

“Their reasoning behind that, what they said was that my image was basically not Asian enough, in not so many words. It broke my heart,” she says. “I said, ‘This character is in her late to mid-20s, an Asian American, and I can’t even audition for it? I’ve auditioned for Caucasian roles my entire career, but this specific role, you’re not going to let me do it? You’re going to fault me for having worked my whole life?’ I was like, ‘Where do I fit?’”

That’s pretty shitty, especially considering, as the Teen Vogue article mentions, Brenda Song’s big break was playing an Asian heiress. But I mean, it’s not like hiring Constance Wu instead made every single person on set miserable for the entire film, right? I guess Brenda should have just been sleeping in a bed full of rabbit shit.

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Studio Execs Wanted Julia Roberts to Play Harriet Tubman

Earlier this month, a small independent biopic about Harriet Tubman called Harriet opened to mixed reviews and a decent enough box office take to be profitable but not exactly a blockbuster. But before being released, Harriet spent nearly 25 years in production hell, and that lead to one particularly interesting tidbit: a number of actresses had been considered for the role over the years and at one point at least one studio executive wanted Julia Roberts to play the famous abolitionist.

Yes, Variety set off an Internet firestorm when they mentioned that the director of Harriet had shared an anecdote about Roberts being considered for the lead role.

According to Howard, a “then-president of a studio sublabel” praised the script and then suggested Roberts play Tubman. “Fortunately, there was a single black person in that studio meeting 25 years ago who told him that Harriet Tubman was a black woman,” Howard wrote in the Times piece. “The president replied, ‘That was so long ago. No one will know that.’”

Now this seems ridiculous, but “color-blind casting” has been quite the trend in Hollywood lately; even Broadway has hopped on board with the mega-hit Hamilton, a play that asks what the world would be like if The Capital Steps were black but not any more talented.

And of course it was a pretty major story when the last Fantastic Four movie cast Michael B. Jordan as Johnny Storm. I’d wager more people had an opinion on that on social media than actually saw the film in theaters, so, you know, around 10-20. That was also a pretty funny story, we can take a look at how that went.

Executive One: You know, this Fantastic Four film is kind of white. We might do better if we cast a black actor as one of the main characters.

Executive Two: That’s a great idea, but which character? We should rule out The Thing since he’s mostly CGI.

Exec One: So that leaves the genius scientist team leader, his girlfriend, also a genius scientist, and her brother, an angry mechanic. Hmmm.

Exec Two: Hmmm.

Exec One: Hmmm.

Exec Two: So should we make the black mechanic’s sister black, too?

Exec One: I don’t see why, we can just make one of them adopted.

Exec Two: What about the villain? What is he?

Exec One: He is a… genius scientist with magical powers.

Exec Two: So all the genius scientists are white and the angry mechanic is black.

Exec One: Don’t forget the rock monster is Jewish.

Exec Two: We are doing so much for racial equality I’ll bet we get a Humanitas Award and an NAACP Image Award for this.

Exec One: And if people don’t watch it, we’ll just call them racist!

Thrilling stuff. Luckily, over the years Hollywood has really gotten its act together with films like Black Panther, a film about how fighting against racism and colonialism is bad and black people should just trust the CIA. Oh.

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Ben Affleck, Gal Gadot and More Say ‘Release the Snyder Cut’

Justice League was a terrible movie. It had more hype than any movie released this decade other than Avengers: Endgame, and it ended being… not unwatchable, but just boring and silly. Legend has it, however, that there is a version of this movie that is actually good. Deep in the bowels of Warner Brothers vault, never to be released (like the Animaniacs) lies the Snyder Cut.

The Snyder Cut saving Justice League hinges on Zack Snyder being a better director than Joss Whedon, a statement I would have laughed in your face about if you told it to me after the first Avengers was released but that seems if not likely then at least probable after seeing the second Avengers movie.

Fans have been clamoring to see the Snyder cut of Justice League basically since they saw Justice League because why not, is it going to be worse? But things really picked up steam on Sunday when Snyder and the cast of the film started tweeting the #ReleaseTheSnyderCut hashtag.

Ray Fisher, who played Cyborg, deleted every other tweet on his account and changed his profile to read #ReleaseTheSnyderCut.

Jason Momoa already expressed his desire to see it released over the summer, saying he had seen it and it was “ssssiiicccckkkkkk.”

But it seems like having so many of the stars spontaneously call for it being released all at once, all of the sudden, means something must be going on with it behind the scenes. And Warner had to see that there’s genuine interest in it as the hashtag shot to the top of Twitter’s trending topics, so even if a release announcement isn’t imminent, it seems like there’s a lot of momentum around it. Justice League was a big, expensive failure for Warner, and if a cut of it exists that can redeem that legacy and maybe increase back catalogue sales, I’d be surprised if we didn’t eventually see it.

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