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Cardi B Cancels Concerts Because of Her Fake Boobs

Cardi B’s fake breasts are causing complications. Now, she’s had to cancel concerts due to them.

Cardi dropped out of her Memorial Day concert at Baltimore’s 92Q Spring Bling Festival this weekend in Maryland.

It’s all because of issues from her liposuction and breast surgery. Doctors say she needs time for the swelling to go down. But, didn’t she want to make her breasts bigger? The swelling helps with that. Unless the augmentation was to tighten everything.

She also canceled shows in New York at the St. Joseph’s Health Amphitheater at Lakeview and Saratoga Performing Arts Center which would’ve taken place May 25 and 26.

Cardi already had an inkling that she needed some time off. Only a few weeks ago, she announced to the crowd at the Beale Street Music Festival in Miami that she had liposuction. During the concert, she said:

“I have some news for y’all. I should have canceled today…I shouldn’t really be performing because moving too much is gonna f— up my lipo. But bitch I’m still gonna get my motherf—ing money back, let’s go!”

But now, Cardi B will not get her motherfucking money back. Thoughts and prayers to Cardi B.

The post Cardi B Cancels Concerts Because of Her Fake Boobs appeared first on The Blemish.

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Celebrity lifestyle posted a photo:

#tbt DJ Kyos somewhere out there... . . . . #celebrityfashion #fashion #model #photoshoot #kyoswear #travel #travelling #tour #tourist #music #musician #celebs #celebrity #dj #producer #author #clothes #De_philosopher_DJKyos #slay #slayin #pics #explore #

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Celebrity lifestyle posted a photo:

#tbt DJ Kyos somewhere out there... . . . . #celebrityfashion #fashion #model #photoshoot #kyoswear #travel #travelling #tour #tourist #music #musician #celebs #celebrity #dj #producer #author #clothes #De_philosopher_DJKyos #slay #slayin #pics #explore #

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Celebrity lifestyle posted a photo:

#tbt DJ Kyos somewhere out there... . . . . #celebrityfashion #fashion #model #photoshoot #kyoswear #travel #travelling #tour #tourist #music #musician #celebs #celebrity #dj #producer #author #clothes #De_philosopher_DJKyos #slay #slayin #pics #explore #

How Long Did It Take You to Learn English Growing Up in Chicago?

The post How Long Did It Take You to Learn English Growing Up in Chicago? appeared first on The Blemish.

John Mayer Denies Dating Kourtney Kardashian, Says He’s Afraid of Kris

We live in a strange world. If you ask most people, they’d tell you that Alyssa Milano is a feminist icon at the head of one of the most important movements in the world today and Kim Kardashian is a dumb slut who’s famous for fucking rappers. But Kim is studying to take the bar and Alyssa is telling everyone on social media she won’t have sex with her husband because of the abortion laws in a state she doesn’t live in. Either the Kardashians are getting less terrible or the entire world is so crazy that’s just making them look better in comparison, and I’d say the odds on those things are pretty even either way.

It wouldn’t have been too long ago that anyone hearing rumors that John Mayer was dating Kourtney Kardashian would have told John to run and never look back. And while John Mayer denied the rumor on Radio Andy he had some pretty effusive praise for the Kardashian clan anyway, via Us Weekly.

“Look, I actually like the Kardashians. If you break it down to your interactions with them, they’re very nice people. So I think any objection to them is more philosophical, and I don’t really have a philosophical objection to people that I don’t get on with every day. Like, they’re very nice people.”

I wouldn’t blame Mayer if he were to date Kourtney; she’s rich, she’s attractive, she’s… I mean, it’s probably just those two things but if you had to pick two…

In addition to saying he wasn’t interested in dating celebrities at his point in his life, there may be another reason Mayer would steer clear of dating a Kardashian.

hat said, the “Gravity” singer is fixated on one celebrity: Kourtney Kardashian’s mom, Kris Jenner. “I think she is, like, the Yoda of Hollywood serotonin,” Mayer said of the 63-year-old momager on Monday. “Like, she has a good grasp on how to make your serotonin just burst in your brain. I was sitting next to her, and I was like, ‘You are the ground zero of bliss, of Hollywood bliss.’ She was great. I also am a little afraid of her … I want a nice base level of respect. I don’t want to be too far on her radar. It’s hard to explain. She could end me.”

I mean, if nothing else, she does have O.J. Simpson’s number.

The post John Mayer Denies Dating Kourtney Kardashian, Says He’s Afraid of Kris appeared first on The Blemish.

Lady Gaga Being Lady Gaga at the Met Gala

Lady Gaga attended the Met Gala today and brought like four really casual outfits.

The post Lady Gaga Being Lady Gaga at the Met Gala appeared first on The Blemish.

Taylor Swift’s Originality Shines at the Billboard Music Awards

Pretty sure I’ve seen this performance from someone somewhere a year ago. I think her name sounded something like Leyonce?

The post Taylor Swift’s Originality Shines at the Billboard Music Awards appeared first on The Blemish.

Cardi B Sprayed on Some Abs for Billboard Music Awards

Can’t wait to see her abs sweat away in the L.A. sun

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Kanye West May Start His Own Religion, Which is the Most On-Brand Thing Kanye West Has Ever Done

Kanye West gave an Easter sermon at Coachella that got a lot of attention.

Now, I wasn’t at Coachella but I imagine Kanye mostly played it straight, just talking about how he was crucified and rose from the dead three days later and how his father loves us. Standard stuff for Kanye, really.

Apparently Kanye liked being a preacher because of course he did, he’s Kanye West and people were listening to him talk. According to People, Kanye liked it so much he’s considering starting his own church, and his wife, Kim Kardashian-West, supports him.

“Kim is 100 percent on board with this,” the source tells PEOPLE. “She’s a Christian, too, and she understands the importance of being spiritual.”

It’s nice to know you don’t need any sort of theological training to be a Christian minister. I had long suspected this based on, you know, everything I know about religion but it’s great to have actual confirmation that some rapper standing up and talking about Jesus counts as going to church.

The source adds that West has been consulting with spiritual advisors and leaders as he figures out his next move, and says Kardashian will have a role in whatever he does.

“She wouldn’t be a traditional ‘pastor’s wife’ who organizes bake sales,” the source explains. “But she will support him if he ever starts church. She’ll be there for it.”

I predict Kanyeism is going to be the fastest growing religion in the United States by the end of the year, replacing the current fastest-growing religion, which is atheism. People love celebrities and are willing to do whatever stupid shit they say. Don’t believe me? Jenny McCarthy and Gwyneth Paltrow, two celebrities no one even really gives a shit about said vaccines were bad and now there are measles outbreaks all over the country. So you ma as well just buckle up and get ready for Pope Yeezus.

The post Kanye West May Start His Own Religion, Which is the Most On-Brand Thing Kanye West Has Ever Done appeared first on The Blemish.

Jennie From BLACKPINK Almost Lost Her Top

Jennie eventually walked off stage to fix herself and people aren’t happy. That and they claim BLACKPINK were lip syncing which seems sort of obvious?

The post Jennie From BLACKPINK Almost Lost Her Top appeared first on The Blemish.

Lil Xan Thinks His Girlfriend May Have Faked Her Pregnancy

This is sort of a good news/bad news story. The good news is that the perpetually drowsy, face-tattooed muppet Lil Xan isn’t going to be reproducing anytime soon. We had thought this was a possibility, but it turns out I might be wrong and there could be a god, and if there is he’s a merciful god.

The bad news is that his partner may have made the pregnancy up in the fist place. That’s not actually bad news, it’s kind of hilarious news, honestly, but “good news/hilarious news” just doesn’t have a ring to it, you know?

People reported that the pregnancy and subsequent miscarriage may have been a hoax and that if it was, Xan was throwing Annie Smith right under the bus and claiming he knew nothing about it.

“I did not fake a pregnancy,” Lil Xan said. “I saw two pregnancy tests with the line that said, ‘You’re pregnant,’ and I was like, ‘Okay, so she’s definitely pregnant.’ But, I mean, I didn’t watch her pee.”

“Then I looked up if you could fake a pregnancy test,” he continued. “I mean, it’s pretty easy.”

When asked whether he thinks that Smith truly faked her pregnancy, Lil Xan (whose real name is Nicholas Diego Leanos) said, “I’m 50/50.”

I mean, if my girlfriend faked a pregnancy to fuck with Miley Cryus’s little sister, there’s no way I would do anything but take her side in public. First because that’s awesome and second because you have to have some loyalty to your partner over dumbfucks on Twitter.

“I was like, ‘I need the paperwork of the miscarriage that you had,’” he said. “This is another suspicious thing — I was like, ‘Go down to the hospital — because it’s on our street — and get the paperwork saying you had a miscarriage,’ but she came back saying, ‘Oh, I have to do this process and s—.’ It really gets you thinking, you know what I mean? I want to give her the benefit of the doubt.”

That’s pretty fucking harsh. That doesn’t sound like the benefit of the doubt to me.

Still, the couple seems happy. And if I were Lil Xan, I wouldn’t be pushing away people willing to marry me.

View this post on Instagram

That face when you up to no good 😂🥶🧟‍♂️💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

A post shared by XAN/DIEGO (@xanxiety) on

His “up to no good” face is the same as all his other faces, and every one of them is the same as my “woke up in the middle of the night to take a piss” face, but with stupid tattoos all over it.

The post Lil Xan Thinks His Girlfriend May Have Faked Her Pregnancy appeared first on The Blemish.

Went to Coachella? You Might Have Herpes

Influencer Olympics? More like Herpes Olympics. Amirite?

The post Went to Coachella? You Might Have Herpes appeared first on The Blemish.

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Celebrity lifestyle posted a photo:

#tbt DJ Kyos somewhere out there at the certain temple ... . . . . #celebrityfashion #fashion #model #photoshoot #kyoswear #travel #travelling #tour #tourist #music #musician #celebs #celebrity #dj #producer #author #clothes #De_philosopher_DJKyos #slay #

Justin Bieber is Still A Big, Whiny Diaper Baby

It’s really hard to overstate the extent to which Justin Bieber is a little bitch. I’m really not surprised Marilyn Manson wanted to beat the shit out of this little douchebag. If you missed it, Bieber filled his diaper on Twitter because an E! host was mean to him about his terrible lip syncing job at Coachella. Here what Morgan Stewart said, via People:

“I did not realize it was going to be that bad,” Stewart said on the show before ripping into Bieber’s facial appearance. “He definitely looks like he put an Oxy pad on that forehead, but I don’t care. That is f—ed up!”

That’s not even that harsh, but Justin couldn’t even take that mild criticism.

Ah yes, the old “Why are you so negative, why can’t you bring positivity into the world instead of telling everyone how much I suck even though I do, in fact, suck so fucking hard?”

I feel like Justin failed to consider that if Morgan bullied him so hard he never showed his face in public again it would be a net positive for the universe.

Ariana Grande also chimed in to say that making fun of Justin makes you “ugly.”

I really wish Joan Rivers was still alive. She would make Bieber cry so hard he’d never leave his house again and then we’d be spared his terrible music and the even dumber shit that comes out of his mouth when he isn’t singing.

The post Justin Bieber is Still A Big, Whiny Diaper Baby appeared first on The Blemish.

You Can Watch Kanye’s Sunday Service Live Through a Peephole

Celebrate Yeezus on stream here.

The post You Can Watch Kanye’s Sunday Service Live Through a Peephole appeared first on The Blemish.

Hippos Are Running Coachella

If that previous puppy post got you feeling down, how about some hippos at Coachella?

The post Hippos Are Running Coachella appeared first on The Blemish.

No Matter What, Beyonce Still Made Out Better Than Ariana Grande

Reports started coming out on Friday that Ariana Grande was paid $8M for her Coachella performances while Beyonce was only paid $4M. That report was corrected saying both stars made $4M per performance. But between those 4 hours of initial reports and the correction, Beyonce fans were breathlessly tweeting their disbelief.

As we soon found out, Ariana could have been paid three times as much as Beyonce but it wouldn’t have mattered because Beyonce flipped her own Coachella performance into a $60M three project deal with Netflix. And if we’re forcing two famous singers to complete for imaginary internet points based on how rich and famous they are, then it wasn’t even a fair fight to begin with. Ariana may be as popular as The Beatles, but Beyonce has a legacy spanning almost three decades. Plus, Ariana isn’t about to drop a 40 track album on the same day as her Netflix special. She can barely get Nicki Minaj’s mic to work.

The post No Matter What, Beyonce Still Made Out Better Than Ariana Grande appeared first on The Blemish.

Childish Gambino Brought Out Chance The Rapper for Weekend 2

In case you thought Weekend 1 got all the good stuff including a non-curated Coachella live stream (ugh), you would only be partially wrong. Childish Gambino brought out Chance The Rapper and I guess everyone really loved that.

The post Childish Gambino Brought Out Chance The Rapper for Weekend 2 appeared first on The Blemish.

Not Even Khalid Can Resist BLACKPINK

The post Not Even Khalid Can Resist BLACKPINK appeared first on The Blemish.

When The Weasel Interviewed a 4-Year-Old Bruno Mars

That guy has had the same hair for at least 29 years.

The post When The Weasel Interviewed a 4-Year-Old Bruno Mars appeared first on The Blemish.

Will Smith Got Jiggy With It With Jaden at Coachella

It’s been 22 years and it’ll be another 22 more before I let Will Smith forget he once embarrassed himself by getting jiggy with it.

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Done Did ‘dat! #coachella

A post shared by Will Smith (@willsmith) on

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Lil Dicky Trying to Save the Earth One Celebrity at a Time

On Thursday, Lil Dicky released his music video for “Earth” which features 30 artists you’ve probably heard of like Justin Bieber who voices a cartoon baboon and Ariana Grande who voices a zebra.

“Earth” is Lil Dicky’s charity single in support of The Leonardo DiCaprio Foundation where all NET profit will go towards. Emphasis on “net” by me because if he uses the right accountant, cocaine and hookers might be considered expenses. I categorize them under “alternative treatments.”

This is basically his version of “We Are The World”. The difference being in 34 years there probably won’t be a documentary about how Lil Dicky masturbated to some kid’s butthole.

Here’s a list of all the artists and what they voice. Is it fitting that Lil Yachty is HPV? I think it is.

  1. Lil Dicky – Human
  2. Justin Bieber – Baboon
  3. Ariana Grande – Zebra
  4. Halsey – Lion
  5. Zac Brown – Cow
  6. Brendon Urie – Pig
  7. Hailee Steinfeld – Common Fungus
  8. Wiz Khalifa – Skunk
  9. Snoop Dogg – Marijuana
  10. Kevin Hart – Kanye West
  11. Adam Levine – Vulture
  12. Shawn Mendes – Rhino
  13. Charlie Puth – Giraffe
  14. Sia – Kangaroo
  15. Miley Cyrus – Elephant
  16. Lil Jon – Clam
  17. Rita Ora – Wolf
  18. Miguel – Squirrel
  19. Katy Perry – Pony
  20. Lil Yachty – HPV
  21. Ed Sheeran – Koala Bear
  22. Meghan Trainor – Human
  23. Joel Embiid – Human
  24. Tory Lanez – Human
  25. John Legend – Human
  26. Bad Bunny – Human
  27. Psy – Human
  28. Kris Wu – Human
  29. Backstreet Boys – Human
  30. Leonardo DiCaprio – Himself
  31. Benny Blanco – Producer
  32. Cashmere Cat – Producer

The post Lil Dicky Trying to Save the Earth One Celebrity at a Time appeared first on The Blemish.

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Celebrity lifestyle posted a photo:

#tbt DJ Kyos somewhere out there... . . . . #celebrityfashion #fashion #model #kyoswear #travel #travelling #tour #tourist #music #musician #celebs #celebrity #dj #producer #author #clothes #slay #slayin #pics #explore #holidays #hustle #outdoorlife #shot

#tbt DJ Kyos somewhere out there… . . . . #celebrityfashion #fashion #model #kyoswear #travel #travelling #tour #tourist #music #musician #celebs #celebrity #dj #producer #author #clothes #slay #slayin #pics #explore #holidays #hustle #outdoorlife #shot

Celebrity lifestyle posted a photo:

#tbt DJ Kyos somewhere out there... . . . . #celebrityfashion #fashion #model #kyoswear #travel #travelling #tour #tourist #music #musician #celebs #celebrity #dj #producer #author #clothes #slay #slayin #pics #explore #holidays #hustle #outdoorlife #shot

#tbt DJ Kyos somewhere out there… . . . . #celebrityfashion #fashion #model #kyoswear #travel #travelling #tour #tourist #music #musician #celebs #celebrity #dj #producer #author #clothes #slay #slayin #pics #explore #holidays #hustle #outdoorlife #shot

Celebrity lifestyle posted a photo:

#tbt DJ Kyos somewhere out there... . . . . #celebrityfashion #fashion #model #kyoswear #travel #travelling #tour #tourist #music #musician #celebs #celebrity #dj #producer #author #clothes #slay #slayin #pics #explore #holidays #hustle #outdoorlife #shot

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Celebrity lifestyle posted a photo:

#tbt DJ Kyos somewhere out there... . . . . #celebrityfashion #fashion #model #kyoswear #travel #travelling #tour #tourist #music #musician #celebs #celebrity #dj #producer #author #clothes #slay #slayin #pics #explore #holidays #hustle #outdoorlife #shot

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Celebrity lifestyle posted a photo:

#tbt DJ Kyos somewhere out there... . . . . #celebrityfashion #fashion #model #kyoswear #travel #travelling #tour #tourist #music #musician #celebs #celebrity #dj #producer #author #clothes #slay #slayin #pics #explore #holidays #hustle #outdoorlife #shot

The Ferris Wheel Blowjob and Other Sex Stories From Coachella

Coachella isn’t just about stopping at a random structure every 5 minutes and asking someone to take pictures of your squad so you can post it with the caption #GOALS on IG. It’s also about taking in the breathtaking views of some lucky guy getting head on the ferris wheel.

If you thought this was just a one-off thing, think again. Turns out Coachella is a hotbed for exhibisionism. Here are a few stories that may make you consider buying that $420 pass.

2015 I had a massively obese couple furiously devouring each other ALL NIGHT LONG in the camp grounds next to mine.

My friend was coming down from a bad trip and all we could hear for hours was the smacking sound of their flaps and moaning.

It still haunts my nightmares. (AuntGentleman)

Wait. I thought these were supposed to be sexy stories.

Just right before Beyoncé set, everyone looked tired and sat in the back waiting (including me and my bf). A couple in front of us were sitting down, the girl was on top and hugging the guy as she’s slowly moving back and forth. They were having sex between hundreds of people and sat right under the light pole. (cookiethepug)

Some people just like to be rocked like a baby.

“My boyfriend and I were partying on molly when we met up with friends to watch Kanye West. My friends were really excited about him, but my boyfriend and I weren’t as much. We were rolling and bored and feeling frisky, so we started grinding on each other during the set. We moved to the back of our group, and I wrapped my scarf around myself. My boyfriend started to finger me during the concert right behind my friends. After I orgasmed a couple times, we went back to normal dancing and nobody seemed to notice. It made listening to Kanye a hell of a lot more exciting!”

But where were those fingers before?

“My friends and I went to Coachella as a group a few years ago. I had a girlfriend at the time, but I found out that I actually really liked this other girl in my group. We had never really hung out before. We ended up having sex outside of the Sahara tent in front of a bunch of people — we were on acid. There were people taking pictures. We came back to our tent and she crashed in the car with me for the whole rest of the week. Then eventually we started dating. We were together for, like, three years.”

Yea, but about that other girlfriend…

I was rolling a bit at the ASAP Rocky at Coachella last year. Made eye contact with a girl. Asked if she wanted to dance. Long story short, I love nipple rings.

Wait, did he have sex or did she flash him? Look, I don’t know. What I do know is I’m going to Coachella next year.

The post The Ferris Wheel Blowjob and Other Sex Stories From Coachella appeared first on The Blemish.

Laura Ingraham Tries to Mock Nipsey Hussle, Uses Pic of Wrong Dude

At the end of March, beloved rapper Nipsey Hussle was shot dead, murdered by an acquaintance following a verbal disagreement.

Nipsey's funeral included tributes from singers and politicians. He was mourned by thousands -- he is mourned by thousands.

Fox News villain Laura Ingraham decided to mock those mourners. To smear Nipsey for her viewers, she played a video of a different black man.

Laura ingraham on nipsey hussle

"Yesterday in L.A.," Laura Ingraham says in a now viral Fox News clip. "Thousands lined the streets to say goodbye to rapper Nipsey Hussle."

"Now this dear artist," she says, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "Recently released a song called 'FDT.'"

Ingraham then explains that the song's title stands for: "Eff Donald Trump"

We don't say this often because it is rarely true, but Ingraham is right about the meaning of that title.

She then immediately squanders that brief moment of not being wrong by playing a clip from the music video.

Laura ingraham shows the wrong rapper

As you will see when you watch the clip, the video focuses on an L.A. rapper by the name of YG.

That's because it's his song, from his 2016 album, Still Brazy.

Nipsey is featured in the song, but it's not his song and he didn't release it.

It's also not "recent" in music terms. 

The song is three years old.

Laura ingraham laughs over nipsey hussle

Why did Laura Ingraham use her show and platform to play the wrong music video in an attempt to disparage Nipsey?

Maybe she just wanted to address hot topics and give her core demographic -- ageing white supremacists -- a target for their ire.

A rapper who doesn't like Trump would certainly make an inviting target. 

Fox News' whole brand is about distracting people from real stories by drumming up pointless outrage.

And maybe Ingraham and her entire staff really didn't know YG from Nipsey.

Yg and nipsey hussle

They look like different people to us.

But maybe all "Trump critics" look the same to them.

Ingraham's latest bad move comes on the heels of months of controversy, including her verbal attacks on children who survive school shootings.

The accused white nationalist's remarks have been praised by members of the KKK.

In the mean time, rappers and black celebrities have called for a boycott of Ingraham's show.

The goal is to deprive her of the platform that she uses to sow misinformation and hatred.

Nipsey hussle snapshot

Absolutely anyone would mistake one face for another, especially if one spends all day staring at faces.

One would hope that someone with the infinite resource of Fox News behind them would be able to do some basic fact-checking.

Of course, that's doesn't seem to be a priority for them.

The fact that Laura Ingraham continues to have a job shows that the network doesn't take her white nationalist rants seriously.

Or worse -- that they're pleased with her hateful words.

We're sorry to say that mocking the lyrics of an associate of a dead black man is far from the worst thing that Ingraham has said.

A man named Eric Holder was arrested for Nipsey's murder and for the shooting of the two men who were with Nipsey but survived.

The 29-year-old was brought in following a manhunt and has entered a plea of Not Guilty.

His defense attorney is Chris Darden -- yes, the very same attorney who rose to fame as a prosecutor on the O.J. Simpson trial.

If Holder is convicted, he may face life behind bars.

Laura ingraham blasted for mocking slain rapper nipsey hussle