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Rose McGowan Slams ‘Fraud’ Alyssa Milano’s Head Over Milano’s Cavalier Dismissal of Sexual Assault Claims About Joe Biden

Remember when Brett Kavanaugh was nominated for the Supreme Court and he was accused of rape by Dr Christine Blasey Ford and Alyssa Milano went hard on how important it was to believe women? She even broke down crying at the hearing.

She tweeted stuff like this:

Republicans, at the time, said this was a partisan smear job and that Milano wouldn’t say a word if this was a Democrat being accused.

Turns out they were right.

You see, Joe Biden, who currently has a small lead over Bernie Sanders in the Democratic presidential primary, was accused of sexually assault by a former staffer. This accusation was as credible, if not more, than the accusation against Justice Kavanaugh. For a week or so, the only response Milano offered was to remove #metoo from her Twitter bio. Well, she finally explained why she had nothing to say in an interview with Andy Cohen.

It basically boils down to Milano repeating, verbatim, every argument made to support Brett Kavanaugh, totally throwing away all credibility the Me Too movement she was the public face of had in order to protect an historically weak presidential candidate who is going to get absolutely fustigated by Donald Trump.

She even called it a “smear campaign” from “Bernie Bros.”

That’s Milano equating Warren and Sanders disputing a the details of a private conversation to rape right there.

Rose McGowan isn’t having it.

This is as brutal as it is true.

Milano did that passive-aggressive “I’m taking the high road but also implying you have some serious issues and I am the grounded and sane person” thing.

I’m disgusted by Milano’s hypocrisy, honestly. I can’t believe I used to constantly fantasize about her when I was in middle school. Like all the time. 3-4 times a day. I just hope Danielle Fishel remains unproblematic.

The post Rose McGowan Slams ‘Fraud’ Alyssa Milano’s Head Over Milano’s Cavalier Dismissal of Sexual Assault Claims About Joe Biden appeared first on The Blemish.

Don’t Listen to Woody Harrelson, Your Mobile Phone Isn’t Giving You the Coronavirus

There’s a weird conspiracy theory going around that 5G mobile phone networks are causing the coronavirus. Or rather that they’re causing the symptoms and there is no coronavirus. This is lunacy and you would have to have your head wedged far up inside your ass to believe it.

So of course Woody Harrelson believes it.

Woody, honestly, man to man here? We love you, brother. You made us laugh in Cheers, you were the best returning guest star from that show on Frasier, you were great in Natural Born Killers, White Men Can’t Jump… is a movie. But you need to shut the fuck up about this one.

See, here’s the issue; people are freaking out about this coronavirus and misinformation like this is really dangerous. The Guardian reported that 20 cell phone towers in the UK were destroyed by conspiracy theorists. I have news for you, if there was a switch you could flip to turn off the coronavirus, they wouldn’t be letting the posh dipshit prime minister of Great Britain die in a hospital right now. Even if it is some awesome irony that his plan to just do nothing and let a bunch of people die so the stock market numbers didn’t go down too far is going to literally get Boris Johnson killed.

These kinds of conspiracies help no one. Coronaviruses are a class of viruses found in animals that are sometimes transmitted to humans. We’ve been expecting a particularly bad strain of coronavirus to cause a pandemic for a while now. SARS was also caused by a coronavirus. It’s not caused by cell phone towers, it’s not caused by being around Asian people and it wasn’t created as a bioweapon. Now wash your hands and stay inside.

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Kristen Bell Says She Wasn’t Pretty Enough to be Pretty or Weird Enough to be Weird When She Started Acting

One of the reasons The Breakfast Club was so popular is that the characters were all the main archetypes used as shorthand for characters in movies and television and the movie was them breaking down why they’re actually fully-realized human beings and not just stereotypes while in Saturday detention.

In a Vanity Fair interview, Kristen Bell says she had trouble getting roles early in her career because, basically, casting directors didn’t think she was hot enough to be Molly Ringwald or weird enough to be Ally Sheedy.

Here’s the relevant bits, via Page Six:

“I would get feedback from an audition: ‘Well, you’re not pretty enough to play the pretty girl, but you’re not quirky enough or weird enough to play the weird girl,’” said Bell of her beginnings in show business.

“I was like ‘OK so does that just mean I can’t be an actor? What does that mean?’ That’s what I was getting feedback on in every single audition.”

First of all, I used to watch Veronica Mars, Kristen’s always been pretty hot. But Bell says that Hollywood has changed since the 80s.

“It’s not the ’80s where you have to have the popular girl and then the nerd who gets the guy. It’s not that anymore and I’m really grateful for that,” Bell said. “It opens up a lot of opportunities for everyone to play and pretend, which is the most fun part.”

Honestly… I disagree. Did you watch Booksmart? Same basic character archetypes and arcs as any John Hughes movie, except the nerd gets the hot girl and the surface-level white feminists are supposed to be wise and inspiring instead of shrill and annoying.

Obviously Bell did make it and she’s most famously played more fully realized characters. Veronica Mars was, like Bell said, not really the hot girl or the nerd, and Eleanor Shellstrop from The Good Place was likewise complex and layered, but mostly in contrast to other characters who were essentially one-note until the very last episodes.

The post Kristen Bell Says She Wasn’t Pretty Enough to be Pretty or Weird Enough to be Weird When She Started Acting appeared first on The Blemish.

Aaron Carter’s (Now Ex-)Girlfriend Arrested For Domestic Assault

Things have not been going great for Aaron Carter. You may remember when he accused his brother of raping a 91-year-old woman or when he got a giant face tattoo. Well, Aaron might be the mayor of crazy town but that doesn’t mean he isn’t entitled to be safe and live a dignified life.

There aren’t a lot of details on what exactly happened, but TMZ reports that Carter’s girlfriend Melanie Ann Martin was arrested for domestic violence, apparently against Carter.

Law enforcement sources tell TMZ … the L.A. County Sheriff’s Department was called to Aaron’s Lancaster home around 11 PM Sunday night for a domestic violence call. We’re told there was a verbal spat between Aaron and Melanie and at some point it got physical.

Cops say Aaron had visible marks on his body and sheriff’s deputies determined Melanie was the aggressor and arrested her for felony domestic violence.

I know the instinct here is to joke about a guy getting beat up by a girl, but domestic violence isn’t funny, even when the aggressor is a woman. Johnny Depp almost lost a finger.

The fights seems to have started when Martin told Carter she was pregnant and ended with Martin allegedly roughing Carter up. But Carter doesn’t believe her.

The post Aaron Carter’s (Now Ex-)Girlfriend Arrested For Domestic Assault appeared first on The Blemish.

Suzanne Somers Wants to Appear Nude in All-Digital ‘Playboy’ Magazine

Playboy has been dying a slow death since they tried removing the nudity and cartoons from the magazine. Even after bringing back the titties, Playboy’s print edition went from monthly to bimonthly and then quarterly. They’ve recently announced that the coronavirus had ended the viability of the print edition entirely and the magazine is now exclusively digital content.

Despite the closure, Suzanne Somers wants to pose nude for the magazine. On her 75th birthday.

Here’s what she said about it, via the New York Post.

“Maybe for my 75th birthday,” said Somers, adding, “I would like Annie Leibovitz to shoot me nude for Playboy for my 75th birthday.”

I get that we’re supposed to be all body-positive and whatnot now, but even 75-year-old men don’t want to see 75-year-old women posing nude. They buy Playboy and look at it right before they get into bed with the 75-year-old woman. Which probably goes a long way towards explaining why the print edition of that magazine is defunct.

I’m glad Suzanne Somers is so confident in her body and is comfortable with how she’s aging, but maybe it’s time to hang the sex symbol thing up. You had a good run.

Though it’s probably a moot point because does anyone think Playboy is still going to be around in a year anyway? Anyone going be to checking a website once every three months to see if there are 20 questions for Alec Baldwin?

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Demi Lovato Wandered Through the Livestream of the Guy She Insists Isn’t Her Boyfriend

It’s not a great time to be a paparazzo. Celebrities aren’t going out in public, unless you count David Geffen hitting the high seas on his obscenely expensive yacht, so there’s not a lot for them to do. But now celebs are adding insult to injury and just catching themselves on camera in compromising positions.

Take, for example, Demi Lovato. She has pretty much insisted she’s single recently despite rumors she’s involved with The Young and the Restless star Max Ehrich.  But while everyone is socially distancing and sheltering in place, she’s over at Max’s place.

How do we know? It’s not because the paparazzi caught her coming or going from his place, it’s because she just wandered onto his livestream that she was unaware he was holding for his fans.

Whoops. At least she was dressed, Amy Schumer got on her livestream topless; I had always imagined smaller and pinker. And also ten years younger.

The post Demi Lovato Wandered Through the Livestream of the Guy She Insists Isn’t Her Boyfriend appeared first on The Blemish.

Sebastian Stan Wants You to Stay in Your Damn House

You really need to stop leaving the house. COVID-19 is going to be worse in the United States than in any other country because you assholes are like “I’m not going to give up my freedom and stay inside for a few weeks just to keep a few hundred thousand people from dying.” Get over yourself.

Marvel star Sebastian Stan has a similar message for people he calls “covidiots.” I like the ring that has.

Basically, what happened is Sebastian Stan went on the Muscle and Fitness podcast to talk about how he is staying in Marvel hero shape during the coronavirus lockdown.

A few minutes into the podcast, Stan absolutely loses his shit on people who aren’t taking the pandemic seriously. Via Comicbook.com:

“There was a meme going around which really kind of put me in my place which was like ‘Your grandparents went to war, and you’re being asked to sit on a couch.’ Like, get the f**k with it,” Stand said. “I talked to a couple friends who are in the workforce like cops out there sleeping in their garages, working 20 hours a day; nurses coming home and not being able to hold their children because they’re afraid they’re going to contaminate their families, then going back to work. You hear that stuff and it blows my mind because it makes me feel like I have such privilege to be able to sit around here while these people are beating themselves.”

“But what makes me insane is seeing that the beaches in f***ing Miami are still flooded with these f***ing idiots. Dude, they’re dumb f***s and it pisses me off and it really makes me insane because that’s actually the problem right there. We gotta remember our grandparents and parents have survived way worse and we can do out part here.”

Stan makes a really good point here; you literally have to do nothing to save lives. Just stay in the damn house. Don’t go out unless you need to, cover your damn mouth with your arm when you cough and wash your hands.

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Lori Loughlin Alleges Prosecutorial Misconduct, Asks to Have Charges Dismissed

Do you think Lori Loughlin has been treated fairly? Just in general. Do you actually care that she paid a college to let her idiot kids in? George W Bush went to both Harvard and Yale and Donald Trump went to Wharton. Do you think those guys got in to those schools on their own merits? Have you listened to them talk for more than five minutes?

Also, do you think it’s fair that Loughlin was fired by Hallmark and Netflix over this? Joe Biden has been accused of rape and they won’t even talk about that on the national news, but they want to throw Lori in jail for 25 years for filing out the wrong form on her bribe. Does that seem right to you?

It doesn’t seem right to Loughlin, and USA Today reports that she’s moved to have her cases dismissed over “extraordinary misconduct” by the prosecution.

In a filing Wednesday supporting a motion to dismiss, lawyers again singled out notes Rick Singer, the mastermind of a nationwide admissions scheme, took on his iPhone following discussions with FBI investigators in October 2018 about recorded phone calls they directed him to make to parents.

The defense attorneys argued the notes prove their clients’ innocence – that parents thought they were making legitimate donations to college programs, not bribing college officials, to get their children admitted into elite colleges. But the lawyers said the government “knowingly withheld” the evidence, which was not turned over until last month.

Why has the government chosen to go after these people and to go after them so hard? We know that plenty of famous people are giving money to colleges with a wink that’s not really a bribe but is absolutely a bribe. Hell, when the Feds announced these arrests, they had to explain how it was different from buying a college a new library so your kid could get in.

It’s a distraction. Our justice department lets lots of rich people get away with way worse things than this and they every so often they throw the book at someone like Martha Stewart to show you that everything is fair, but it’s not. And if they’ve got to hide evidence to even do that, then what is even going on?

The post Lori Loughlin Alleges Prosecutorial Misconduct, Asks to Have Charges Dismissed appeared first on The Blemish.

Britney Spears Says She’s Faster Than Usain Bolt

My name is Britney Spears, and I am the fastest woman alive. To the outside world, I’m an ordinary forensic scientist, but secretly, with the help of my friend at S.T.A.R Labs, I fight crime and find other meta-humans like me. But I became lost in time. It took everything in my friend’s power to bring me back, and in doing so our world was opened up to new threats. And I am the only one fast enough to stop them. I am the Flash.

Britney Spears just claimed to be the fastest person in the world, and by quite a bit. The current world record for the 100 meter is 9.58 seconds, held by Usain Bolt. Spear claimed to have run it in 5.97 seconds on Instagram.

She deleted the post but Page Six had the details.

“Ran my first 5 !!!!” she captioned a now-deleted screenshot of a stopwatch timer displaying 5.97 seconds. “Getting over your fear of pushing it in the beginning is key …. once I did that I hit 5 !!!!! Usually I run 6 or 7 …. my first try was 9 …. and now I did it whoop !!!!! 100 meter dash.”

Spears followed up later to say she was joking.

I don’t get the joke here. Why delete it if it was a joke? It’s like shooting someone in the shoulder and then going “haha dude, I pranked you!”

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Awkwafina is Speaking Out About the Recent Surge of Anti-Asian Racism

The coronavirus is scary and we don’t really know how to respond to it. When that happens, people start doing irrational things like panic-buying toilet paper because it essentially has an unlimited shelf life. There’s no shortage of toilet paper or food or basically anything you need to live your life; the only supply-chain disruptions I’ve heard of have been for consumer electronics because non-essential factories in China shut down or temporarily converted to making something more important. The reason grocery stories are empty is people are rushing and buying them out because they don’t know what else to do.

Some of the things people do when they’re scared and don’t know what to do are ugly, immoral and just plain disturbing, and that is the case with people who have turned their frustrations into just blatant racism against Asians.

If you stop and think for two seconds, you’ll realize that being Asian has nothing to do with contracting or spreading this disease, it just happened to evolve in the Wuhan area. And this racism is being stoked by *ahem* politicians who insist on calling the 2019 novel coronavirus the “Chinese virus” or something along those lines. I have some bad news for you, if anything it’s the New York Virus, it looks to be worse there than anywhere.

Awkwafina made a thoughtful Instagram post calling for people to stay safe and hopefully not internalize this extremely toxic rhetoric.

I am saddened by the rhetoric that has come out of this, and the cruelty that came as a result. I hope that while we self isolate and socially distance to stay safe, we also stay sane and calm. Wishing everyone a sense of peace during this batshit crazy time – I will be locking myself up for the next 2 weeks rewatching the Tiger King. Love you all

Look, the people who want you to blame China and Chinese people for this pandemic are trying to push the blame because they themselves have failed in some way. The response from a lot of countries has been entirely inadequate and the fault lies at the leaders of those countries. In fact, South Korea was able to avoid the worst effects of the virus despite the Korean Peninsula being relatively close to Wuhan because their government took this seriously and immediately enacted the precautions and testing needed to keep the virus from spreading through the population the way it did in Italy and New York.

This virus is not being spread because of anything the Asian guy sitting next to you on the bus did, it’s spreading because of what Andrew Cuomo and Donald Trump didn’t do.

Mulan actor Jimmy Wong wrote and performed a song on his social media account about this reaction to the virus, as well. We teased Jimmy for tweeting about how he wanted to take Brie Larson to the Mulan premier (seriously, brother, have your agent call her agent, don’t just @ her on Twitter) and this is a little cheesy but it’s so much better than that dumb Imagine video that I’m willing to let it slide.

I’d like to say that we’re better than this sort of racism, but obviously we’re not. I still believe we can be, though. So be better.

The post Awkwafina is Speaking Out About the Recent Surge of Anti-Asian Racism appeared first on The Blemish.

The New York City Health Department Says You Can Get COVID-19 From Eating Ass

The coronavirus has taken everything we loved away. Riverdale and Flash have shut down production, SXSW and the Olympics were cancelled and who knows when the next Marvel movie might come out. Oh, and your grandparents are probably all going to die.

But finally things have gone too far and the coronavirus is threatening to take away rimjobs. Why even get out of bed? If I can’t eat ass, the ‘Rona may as well just take me into the infinite nothingness.

Well, this is what the New York City Public Health Department is recommending in their new guidelines on how to safely fuck during the apocalypse.

Rimming (mouth on anus) might spread COVID-19. Virus in feces may enter your mouth.

Sounds like someone needs to learn how to properly clean themselves in the shower. Hilariously, though, it does basically say rimjobs are safer than kissing, noting that “kissing can easily pass COVID-19” while eating ass is only a “might.”

You are your safest sex partner. Masturbation will not spread COVID-19, especially if you wash your hands (and any sex toys) with soap and water for at least 20 seconds before and after sex.

I mean, it’s good advice, but did anyone actually think jacking off could spread any disease? That sounds like a fairy tale uptight parents tell their kids to keep from having awkward conversations with their kids about human sexuality. “If you touch yourself below the waist God will kill Grandma with the coronavirus.”

COVID-19 has not yet been found in semen or vaginal fluid.

Blowjobs are back on the menu boys, just make sure you return the favor. Also, someone start a rumor than not shaving your pubes makes you more likely to get the coronavirus. No one wants this extended quarantine to lead to the return of hairy bushes. We’ve evolved as a society and we’re not going back.

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Jeremy Renner, the Worst Avenger, is Using the Coronavirus Outbreak to Get His Child Support Reduced

Things are getting rough for Jeremy Renner during the coronavirus outbreak. Sure he was in three of the ten highest-grossing movies of all time (and the eleventh) but work has just dried up for him since all the productions shut down because of the COVID-19 pandemic. So he would very much like to start paying less money in child support, according to TMZ.

Okay, two things here. One, his daughter’s name is Ava, get your shit together TMZ.

Second, let’s do some quick math. Renner is paying $30,000 a month in child support. His daughter will turn 7 in a few days, which means he’ll be paying that for exactly 11 more years. That’s $3.96 million dollars. Google tells me Renner currently has a net worth of $50 million he’s basically being asked to pay 8% of his wealth to take care of his daughter, and he’s going to court to have that reduced to $11k a month, or $1.452 million dollars, or about 3% of his wealth.

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Former Ellen DeGeneres Employees Share Horror Stories About the Beloved Comic to Pass Time During Quarantine

You know, it’s really disappointing to me to find out that Ellen DeGeneres is a terrible person. I mean, there were hints.

Still, Ellen had always been a hero of mine. Her stand-up album, Eat This, is one of the funniest I’ve ever heard. She is very funny. Like, Louis C.K. funny. Man, it is just not a great time to be a fan of stand-ups in general, is it? Don’t even get me started on what an ass Bill Hicks became after he faked his death and changed his name to Alex Jones.

I had heard rumors that Ellen was just an awful person but I don’t think I realized the extent until I saw the Twitter thread where former employees recounted their horror stories of dealing with her, started for charity by Kevin T. Porter.

He ended up donating $600, which means he got around 300 true stories of Ellen being horrible. Here are a few of the best.

Okay, I said I loved Ellen earlier, but no one disrespects the queen like that. It’s like Bill Cosby telling young black to pull their pants up while pulling the pants off unconscious black women.

This is one of the most petty things I’ve ever heard in my entire life.

This takes petty to a new level.

This seems terrible but keep in mind all vegans are like this, i.e. the worst.

This came up again and again; Ellen apparently gets furious if any members of the production crew, such as the grips and gaffers, make eye contact with her. That’s some next-level bullshit right there.

See? That is a person who thinks they’re better than you because they have money.

The moral is never have heroes. Especially not if they’re stand-up comics. That is not a profession people get into because they’re well adjusted and morally upright.

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Elon Musk Is on the Coronavirus Case, so We’re About to Be as Safe as the Drinking Water in Flint

If you’re a virologist, be prepared to get called a pedophile by a rich white guy from South Africa.

Elon Musk, the world’s dumbest “genius”, is setting out to cure the Coronavirus with the same sort of leadership and intelligence he used to fix the drinking water in Flint and rescue those kids from that cave.

Musk recently tweeted that Tesla would make ventilators if there was a shortage, which there already is.

A ton of people pointed this shortage out, and Elon chose to respond to Nate Silver of 538.

All of them, Elon. You said they can’t be produced instantly, right? Fucking start, but the time the hospitals are saying they need more, it’s too late.

But he did get a government contract so ventilators accomplished.

This guy is like Lex Luthor, except Lex Luthor is smart.

He keeps playing down the seriousness of this virus by pointing to numbers looking better.

The problem here is that it doesn’t take into account that the way this disease was brought under control was basically locking down entire countries for months.

But I’m not sure it went so well because right after this exchange Tesla announced its factories were shutting down. If I live to be a thousand years old I will never understand why people worship this guy. He invested in a few things that made a lot of money and almost everyone acts like he’s some genius inventor.

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Amanda Bynes Might be Losing Custody of the Baby She Hasn’t Given Birth To Yet

I just want Amanda Bynes to be happy. I know I make fun of her a lot, but that’s just because it’s so easy and not because I don’t like her. I used to watch What I Like About You all the time before streaming came along and gave us the ability to watch good shows instead of just whatever was on TBS for three hours at a time.

I did feel bad when Bynes apparently broke up with her fiancée because she seems to really love the guy. It seemed like they only broke up because her parents wanted her to break up with him and wouldn’t let her get married because of her conservatorship.

Amazingly it retrospect, her parents were more worried about her getting pregnant than married because they could just end her marriage. So she’s pregnant, with TMZ reporting she’s around 6 weeks. The baby hasn’t even been born and she’s losing custody, though.

Sources close to the situation tell TMZ … Amanda’s about 6 weeks pregnant and currently receiving treatment in a psychiatric facility. While it’s a good sign she’s getting treatment … we’re told the plan is for Amanda’s father and her BF, Paul Michael, to share custody of the baby.

They also reported that Amanda and Paul are back together, so good for them. Amanda has no idea her parents are planning to take her baby, though.

It’s probably a good idea not to smoke when you’re pregnant. Her lawyer told TMZ it’s too early to be discussing any of this when  asked for comment.

Amanda’s attorney, David Esquibias, tells TMZ, “I’m not confirming that Amanda is expecting and because of that it’s premature for anyone to speculate about who would have custody of Amanda’s unborn child.”

I really do hope everything here works out for Amanda, though. It’s the best way to keep from getting another TV show.

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Amber Heard Bashed Johnny Depp in the Head With a Door New Audio Reveals

The more information that we get about Amber Heard and Johnny Depp, the worse things are looking for the “Johnny Depp is an abuser and we should boycott those Harry Potter spin-offs no one was watching anyway” people.

The latest report is that audio recorded of the couple details Heard admitting to punching Depp in the face after hitting him in the head with a door.

Here’s what Page Six reported on the incident.

In the new tape, the actress, 33, admits to also “clocking” the 56-year-old “Pirates of the Caribbean” star in the jaw, saying, “I am so sorry … I can remember hitting you as a response to the door thing. And I’m really sorry about hitting you with the door or hitting your head. I did not mean to.”

She says she hit him “in response to the door thing” but the “door thing” was her hitting him with a door.

On the audiotape, Depp is heard saying, “I’d just been hit in the head with a f–king corner of the door … And then I stood up and then you f–king clock me.” Heard responds, “I did not do this thing with the door … [but] I did mean to hit you.”

Heard, of course, maintains that Johnny Depp was the aggressor in this situation where she hit him in the face with a door and then punched him in the face.

“I was trying to escape from a room where Johnny was attacking me … I was trying to get onto the other side of the door, attempting to close the door, and he was attempting to get in, despite my attempts to try to escape an assault.” Of her apology to Depp on the tape, “I made it very clear I was sorry that the door hit him as I went into the room I was … attempting to escape into.” But she told Depp’s lawyers in the deposition that the taped conversation “misrepresents what actually happened, which is him trying to get into a room, which I was trying to get him out of.”

I’m not one to judge here, but Heard’s statements don’t add up to me. How did she hit him with a door if she was trying to close it and he was on the other side of it? Doors don’t work that way, you would have to swing a door open to hit someone with it. Go to any door in your house and try to make sense of what Heard said happened.

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Amanda Bynes Will Soon Be Raising a Child

Proving god has a sense of humor, Amanda Bynes announced on Instagram the other day that she is pregnant. In a now deleted post, she wrote “Baby on board!” under a photo of her ultrasound. The father is on again off again boyfriend Paul Michael I assume. That or it’s a virgin birth which would be the least weird thing Amanda Bynes would have ever done.

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Vanessa Hudgens Is a Strong Contender For Dumbest Coronavirus Take

The coronavirus outbreak has people stuck in the house and worrying about it and saying some pretty dumb things. Like Chrissy Teigen and her $100 soup suggestion. But Vanessa Hudgens got on her Instagram story to prove that she cannot, she will not be out-stupided by anyone.

So like, what’s the big deal about about a global pandemic that kills a bunch of people? I mean, those people were going to die eventually, right? Why should I miss Coachella just because you wanted another 20 years with your grandma?

The smartest thing Hudgins said was “maybe I shouldn’t be doing this now.”

Some twitter users pointed out that this is what happens when you socially distance yourself from your PR team.

When did Matt Oswalt become the good Oswalt? I feel so bad for Patton.

I did not watch High School Musical because I love myself, but I always thought Ashley Tisdale was supposed to be the ditzy one.

This hits the nail on the head. Rich people are just completely out of touch. And while they’re home all day and running their own social media accounts instead of letting an intern do it we’re going to see a lot more rich celebrities show us exactly how dumb and out of touch they are. It’s like quarantine Christmas.

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Jared Leto Didn’t Learn About the Coronavirus Until Just Now

Jared Leto has been entirely ignorant of the massive coronavirus outbreak because he’s spent the past two weeks at a silent meditation retreat. I dare you to dream of a more Jared Leto sentence than that. I assume he’s been getting into character for a new film where he plays an insufferable douche, a role he’s been preparing for his whole life.

Jared Leto’s twitter account has been active the entire time he’s been away, which takes away a lot of the mystery of whether or not his social media is run by an intern.

Remember those rumors that Jared Leto was a cult leader a few months ago? It sounds more and more true every day. Jared Leto leading a cult is basically the only explanation for how a Jared Leto isn’t in a cult. Or Scientology. Which is definitely not a cult.

Leto isn’t the only person unaware of the coronavirus; contestants on the German version of the reality show Big Brother are about to learn about the outbreak live on the air.

That’s kind of perfect, I can’t think of who is more like a vapid reality TV contestant than Jared Leto. Dude walks out of an ashram somewhere and learns there’s a global pandemic and tweets “wow man, that’s so heavy. Peace and love!”

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Coronavirus Challenge: TikTok Star SLAMMED for Licking Airplane Toilet

Now that even beloved celebrities have tested positive for coronavirus, some Americans are finally taking this global pandemic seriously.

But not everyone is using common sense, as you can see when this 22-year-old TikTok star licks an airplane toilet seat.

TikTok star Ava Louise is an influencer from Miami, which sort of makes her a Florida Woman.

In the deeply upsetting video that she uploaded to both TikTok and Twitter, Ava licks what is clearly an airplane toilet seat.

The music playing over the video sings "It's Corona time," in reference to the drink, not the virus.

But the video's caption, "Coronavirus Challenge," leaves no doubt -- or peace -- in anyone's minds.

Though the video no longer appears on TikTok, even the version that she uploaded to Twitter has hundreds of thousands of views.

"Please RT this so people can know how to properly be sanitary on the airplane," she captions the video.

Louise is clearly baiting people with outrage in order to increase her online footprint.

And we can assure you that it's working.

After Ava shared the video on Saturday, March 14, Twitter raised holy hell in response.

"It's sad that elderly will likely die," one reply remarked, "and people like this will live."

"Nice way to get sick dummy. There is more than covid 19 on that toilet seat," warned another.

That tweet added: "She may want invest in toilet paper for those horrible stomach bugs she just licked up."

"I just want to say, this isn't worth it," another admonished. "You don't have to lick toilet seats for Internet likes to feel good about yourself"

"Ppl will like anything. It doesn't define you or your worth," the tweet continued.

"Don't endanger yourself & others for the attention of strangers," the kind Twitter use concluded. "Love yourself."

"Someone seems a little desperate for attention," another observed.

"I don't care if the internet cancles me," Ava wrote in another post. If that's a typo, it's not on our end.

"I can recover from anything cuz of hot girl privalege," she asserted. That is also not a typo.

In fact, we suspect that Ava is making deliberate spelling errors -- in both cases, on key words -- for the same reason that she licked a toilet seat.

She knows that this will enrage people, which will get people talking and drive engagement with her posts.

Obviously, there are ways that this "coronavirus challenge" could be staged, as most viral "challenges" are.

Some of us are too repulsed to even lick a freshly cleaned, never-used, straight-from-the-assembly-line toilet seat.

Assuming that she wasn't granted access to a brand new private plane for the video, she may have rubbed the seat with cleaning products.

Honestly? Even if the act was entirely sanitary, most of us couldn't stomach the thought of doing this. Toilets are just too gross.

The real danger, however, may stem from wannabe influencers rather than from actual influencers.

Remember the "Tide Pod challenge" from a couple of years ago? That was, of course, fake.

People used editing or, in some cases, homemade candy made to look like detergent pods in order to gain clout on social media.

Unfortunately, some impressionable and slightly stupid young people tried the challenge ... and ended up ingesting bleach.

Coronavirus challenge tiktok star slammed for licking airplane t

A Lot of Our Favorite Celebrities, Like Idris Elba, Are Getting Coronavirus

It might seem strange to say this, but celebrities are probably a high-risk group for a global pandemic like the 2019 novel coronavirus COVID-19. But they’re flying around the world, in airplanes which are great breeding grounds for diseases like this. And now a lot of them have it.

For starters, Tom Hanks and his wife Rita Wilson have it. You can do the whole “Rita Wilson and her husband I’m a feminist” joke all of social media and John Oliver have been doing if you can name one thing Rita Wilson has been in without googling her. Yeah, that’s what I thought. She was Fraiser’s mom on that episode where he dates the woman who looks like his mom.

Idris Elba also has the coronavirus, despite not showing any symptoms. Elba is British, so he’s properly freaking out because British Prime Minister Posh Donald Trump’s strategy for dealing with the disease is “eh, fuck it, it’ll probably work out.”

Former Bond Girl Olga Ker… Kir… Kurylenko also has the coronavirus.

If she needs someone to rub her down with disinfectant twice a day I’m down. That’s what you’re supposed to do, right?

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Happy Friday from @hippocratesinst! Love this place!

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Kristofer Hivju played Tormund Giantsbane on Game of Thrones and not only did he never got to bang Brienne of Tarth, now he’s got the coronavirus. I’m not saying those things are related, I’m just saying Nikolaj Coster-Waldau is fine so far.

So who is gonna get it next? Not Mel Brooks, that’s for damn sure.

It’s good advice, you should take it.

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Idris Elba Has the Virus

Been wondering how many celebs would test positive for the Covid 19 virus. First there was Tom Hanks, now Idris Elba.

Elba tweeted out that he tested positive for the coronavirus and is self-quarantining himself.

Elba said:

This morning I tested positive for Covid 19. I feel ok, I have no symptoms so far but have been isolated since I found out about my possible exposure to the virus. Stay home people and be pragmatic. I will keep you updated on how I’m doing 👊🏾👊🏾 No panic.

Elba said he got tested after coming in contact with A CARRIER!

What’s up guys. So look this morning. I got some test results back for coronavirus and it came back positive. Yeah and it sucks. Listen, I’m doing okay. Sabrina hasn’t been tested and she’s doing okay. I wasn’t, I didn’t have any symptoms. I got tested because I realized I was exposed to someone who had also tested positive.

I found out last Friday that they were tested positive. I quarantined myself and got a test immediately and got a results back today.

Thoughts and prayers to Idris.

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Jameela Jamil is Determined to be ‘Playboy’s’ Least Sexy Photoshoot Ever

I’m not quite sure who is still reading Playboy in the age of Pornhub, but the venerable titty mag of record is still going strong. Well, not strong, per se, but it’s still going.

While the magazine is still in print, Jameela Jamil is using her inexplicable fame to try and kill it by being in the least-sexy photo shoot the magazine has ever done.

Seriously, what is with her? Why are you in Playboy if you want to be unsexualized? Who is this for? Who is buying Playboy, a magazine built around showing women’s naked breasts, to hear about Jameela Jamil’s brand of uninformed white feminism while sheksshe’s dressed like Billie Eilish? And I know Jameela isn’t white, but she’s absolutely the most white feminist woman of color in the world.

As if to prove my point, Jamil tweeted, and then deleted, this beauty of a take where she pondered if the novel Coronavirus COVID-19 was a “clap back” from Mother Nature.

Do you see what I mean by white feminism?

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Orlando Bloom Was Basically an Incel Before He Met Katy Perry

Orlando Bloom was always a pretty handsome guy. Not like, Brad Pitt handsome, but handsome. Which makes it amazing that he says he couldn’t get laid for six months until Katy Perry came along.

Here’s what Us Magazine reported the Lord of the Rings Star said.

The Pirates of the Caribbean star — who said earlier in the interview that he believes “porn is super disruptive to your sex life, to your libido” — admitted he “didn’t even” masturbate during the six-month period.

“Completely nothing. It was insane,” he said. “I don’t think it’s healthy. I don’t think it was advisable. You have to keep it moving down there.”

That’s crazy, even Orlando Bloom didn’t want to fuck Orlando Bloom. Dude was probably on the Internet posting about how women only want to fuck Chads like Leonardo DiCaprio.

Okay, so Orlando wasn’t actually an incel, he was taking a little sex break to get his head straight and because it was becoming harder to find a model half his age who hadn’t already dated Ben Affleck.

“[I] wasn’t happy. [My friend] Laird [Hamilton] said, ‘If you want to be serious about a relationship, go celibate for a few months and figure it out,’” the actor, 43, told The Sunday Times in a profile published on Sunday, March 15. “It takes away the idea of going to a party and thinking, ‘Who am I going to meet?’ I was suddenly like, ‘Oh, I can have a relationship with a woman that is just friends.’”

Orlando Bloom is 43 and just learning you can talk to women for reasons other than wanting to sleep with them.

But things worked out when he met Katy Perry.

“She’s very surprising,” he told The Sunday Times. “She’s witty and smart and intelligent. She’s charismatic, but she’s direct too, and this dynamic was intriguing to me.”

Witty, smart and intelligent are all the same thing. Interesting to know who in this relationship is the sex idiot.

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Lorenzo Brino, 7th Heaven Star, Dead at 21

Lorenzo Brino, a former child actor who was best known for his role on the show 7th Heaven, was killed in a car accident in Southern California last week, police revealed on Sunday.

He was 21 years old.

Lorenzo Brino

Lorenzo reportedly lost control of his 2016 Toyota Camry and crashede into a utility pole while driving in the city of Yucaipa, where he resided, just after 3 a.m. last Monday.

This, according to a statement from San Bernardino County Sheriff's Departmen.

police was pronounced dead at the scene.

No other occupants were in the vehicle, per TMZ, and the accident remains under investigation.

Brino

Brino was one of the qudruplets who played infants and then older kids on the former WB/CW family drama.

He and his siblings -- Zachary Brino and Nikolas Brino and sister Myrinda "Mimi" Brino -- took on the roles of twins David and Sam, the youngest children in the large Camden brood.,

They were introduced early on and served as series regulars Seasons six through 11.

brino

In response to this tragedy, Brino's sister shared a touching tribute to him on her Instagram page, including along with it several family photos such as the ones above and below.

"To my amazing and crazy brother. You might be gone but it's true when people say 'gone but never forgotten,'" she wrote.

"Saying that you were a blessing is an understatement. You brought light to so many lives and you did so much with the too short of a life that you had...

"I am so so happy to know that I was beyond loved by you and that I forever have a guardian angel by my side.

"Rest In Peace Lorenzo, I love you now and I'll love you forever."

heavenrs

As TMZ noted, Brino's aunt, Janet Brino, also issued a tribute to the late 21-year-old.

"To my dear sweet nephew, your loss left a hole in my heart," Janet said, adding:

"God needed another Angel and he took you.

"Please watch over your mom and dad. You sister Mimi, brothers, Antonio, Zachary and Nicholas ... You got a big job up there."

7th people

7th Heaven aired for 11 seasons, ending in 2007.

It helped launch the career of Jessica Biel and also starred Stephen Collins, Beverley Mitchell, Barry Watson, Catherine Hicks, Mackenzie Rosman, and David Gallagher.

"My heart is broken for his family!" Mitchell wrote on Instagram, concluding:

"So many fun memories watching them grow up! Just devastating! RIP Zo!! You were full of light and will not be forgotten! #7thHeaven."

May Lorenzo Brino rest in peace.

Kate Beckinsale Told Us All How Harvey Weinstein Wasn’t Just a Rapist, He Was a Bully, Too.

Now that Harvey Weinstein is in jail and falling on his face and having heart attacks, it really makes you wonder why he was so feared and respected in Hollywood. Seriously, the dude is basically just a Jerry Lewis character from his fat phase now and yet he carried out a decades-long reign of terror against the richest and most privileged people in the world.

Harvey Weinstein wasn’t just a prolific rapist, he was also an incredibly unpleasant bully. With Harvey safely behind bars, Kate Beckinsale got on Instagram and recounted Weinstein absolutely losing his shit at her because she didn’t dress sexy enough at a premier a few weeks after 9/11.

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These photos were taken at the premiere of Serendipity on October 5,2001. We all refused to go because holding a premiere mere weeks after 9/11 with the city still smoking felt like the most insensitive, tone deaf,disrespectful idea possible .But Harvey insisted. We flew into New York and somehow got through it. The next morning Harvey called me and asked if I would like to bring my less than two year old daughter to his house for a playdate with his similar aged daughter I said ok. I turned up and he immediately called for his nanny to take the babies to another room to play. I went to go with them and he said “No, you wait here .” The minute the door closed he started screaming “you stupid fucking CUNT, you CUNT you ruined my premiere .” I had no idea what he was talking about and started to shake.He said,”If I am throwing a red carpet you get in a tight dress, you shake your ass you shake your tits you do not go down it looking like a fucking lesbian you stupid fucking cunt .” The shock made me burst into tears.I tried to say “Harvey,the city is on fire, people are still looking for their relatives none of us even felt the premiere was appropriate much less coming out dressed like it’s a bachelor party .” He said,”I don’t care -it’s my fucking premiere and if I want pussy on the red carpet that’s what I get”.Screaming. Livid. I managed to get myself and my child out of there and yes that was one of many experiences I had that there was no recourse for,and falls under no felony.But I WAS punished for it, and for other instances where I said no to him for years,insidiously and seeming irreversibly. Hearing that he has gone to prison for 23 years is a huge relief to me on behalf of all the women he sexually assaulted or raped, and I hope will be a deterrent to that sort of behavior in this and any other industry. Having said that,the crimes that are not crimes,the inhumane bullying and sick covert abuse for which there is STILL no recourse no matter who you tell(and I did tell),these too need to go.I hope and pray that we as an industry can start to actually outlaw all abuses of power and expose them and eliminate them, for all genders,forever.And Rose,brava ❤

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These photos were taken at the premiere of Serendipity on October 5,2001. We all refused to go because holding a premiere mere weeks after 9/11 with the city still smoking felt like the most insensitive, tone deaf,disrespectful idea possible .But Harvey insisted. We flew into New York and somehow got through it. The next morning Harvey called me and asked if I would like to bring my less than two year old daughter to his house for a playdate with his similar aged daughter I said ok. I turned up and he immediately called for his nanny to take the babies to another room to play. I went to go with them and he said “No, you wait here .” The minute the door closed he started screaming “you stupid fucking CUNT, you CUNT you ruined my premiere .” I had no idea what he was talking about and started to shake.He said,”If I am throwing a red carpet you get in a tight dress, you shake your ass you shake your tits you do not go down it looking like a fucking lesbian you stupid fucking cunt .” The shock made me burst into tears.I tried to say “Harvey,the city is on fire, people are still looking for their relatives none of us even felt the premiere was appropriate much less coming out dressed like it’s a bachelor party .” He said,”I don’t care -it’s my fucking premiere and if I want pussy on the red carpet that’s what I get”.Screaming. Livid. I managed to get myself and my child out of there and yes that was one of many experiences I had that there was no recourse for,and falls under no felony.But I WAS punished for it, and for other instances where I said no to him for years,insidiously and seeming irreversibly. Hearing that he has gone to prison for 23 years is a huge relief to me on behalf of all the women he sexually assaulted or raped, and I hope will be a deterrent to that sort of behavior in this and any other industry. Having said that,the crimes that are not crimes,the inhumane bullying and sick covert abuse for which there is STILL no recourse no matter who you tell(and I did tell),these too need to go.I hope and pray that we as an industry can start to actually outlaw all abuses of power and expose them and eliminate them, for all genders,forever.And Rose,brava ❤

I don’t even know how to respond to that. He managed to cram misogyny, homophobia, a self-centered disregard for anything happening in the world outside his immediate circle and the reckless wielding of power like a petulant dictator all into one anecdote. He’s like the Mohammed Ali of being a fucking dickhead.

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Out of An Abundance of Caution, Absolutely Everything is Cancelled Because of the Coronavirus

I hope you didn’t have any plans, because they’re cancelled. Pretty much any plans, really. South by Southwest? Cancelled. E3? Cancelled. Had concert tickets? They’re cancelled. Wanted to head to the stadium and catch a ball game? Cancelled and even more cancelled. Gonna go to church and pray because you’re worried about it? Cancelled. Want to leave the country? Nope.

Okay, so, you’re not going anywhere. At least you can watch some TV right? Maybe catch up on Riverdale? Nope.

Experts are even suggesting we should cancel our orgies to fight the spread of the coronavirus. That is a bridge too far, my friend. Why even bother to not get the coronavirus if it leads to a world without orgies?

On the bright side, Daniel Radcliffe doesn’t have the coronavirus despite a fake viral article. But unfortunately, Tom Hanks does. Man, I hope he’s okay.

But at least we know O.J. Simpson is staying safe from the virus.

So what can you do? Well, you can go to work unless you want to get fired, lose your house and starve to death, which kind of defeats the purpose of closing everything to begin with.

But there are lots of things to do if you’re stuck inside. Red Dead Redemption 2 and Spider-Man for PS4 are pretty cheap now. You could also watch all those Netflix original comedies like Bojack Horseman and Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt until they start to go downhill, which is almost universally after the first season. Big Mouth has a pretty consistent level of quality, but that’s mostly because it’s a really low bar to being with. We get it, the Too Much Tuna guys are horny teenagers and it’s woke but not really.

I’m not a doctor, but I am on social media so I feel qualified to give medical advice. We don’t know how bad this outbreak is going to be, just that it will fall somewhere between “not very” and “extremely”.

You’ve no doubt heard the advice; wash your hands, don’t touch your face, avoid crowds. It doesn’t mean you won’t get sick but it does decrease your chances of getting sick and that’s the best you can do.

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How is THIS What Ariel Winter Looks Like Without Makeup?

Modern Family has wrapped shooting and the final episode is set to air in a few weeks. Last night, ABC aired a mini-marathon of episodes from across the show’s history in prime time as part of the farewell.

It’s hard to overstate the influence Modern Family had on television. It appeared at just the right time and was just the right mix of classic sitcom writing and the style of the nascent prestige TV era to draw in a huge audience and establish a sitcom presence for ABC.

But maybe the best thing the show did was introduce us to Ariel Winter. Playing nerdy middle child Alex, Winter grew up to be both a gifted comedic actress and so smoking hot that the show eventually couldn’t hide her behind glasses and unfashionable clothes anymore.

Just to give you an idea of what I mean, Winter recently posted what she called a “pre-makeup selfie” on Instagram.

Fuck. Off.

How does she look that good without makeup? The Kardashians spend an hour in a makeup chair and another hour with Photoshop and don’t end up looking that good.

Probably not a great time for Pokémon Go, though, unless you want to Pokémon Go to the hospital with coronavirus, Ariel.

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Lori Loughlin Finally Catches a Break as Judge Orders USC to Turn Over More Documents

I’ve never fully believed Lori Loughlin was going going to walk on the charges against her in the college admissions scandal because of how bloodthirsty the prosecutors seemed, but Loughlin appears to have caught a huge break and things might be about to turn around in her favor.

As reported by TMZ, USC is being ordered to turn over unredacted documents the court believes USC gives special consideration to the children of celebrities and other powerful people.

Loughlin and her husband are pursuing a strategy based on claiming they believed the money they had given mastermind William Rick Singer was being used as a legitimate donation and not any sort of illegal bribe. This is fairly believable because does anyone think a jury is going to parse the difference between the right and wrong ways to bribe a college? If USC is giving special consideration to the students of the rich and famous then this supports Loughlin’s argument that they had no reason to suspect anything illegal was happening. Why would they need to bribe anyone if their names and largess would open the door for them anyway.

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Actor Timothy Hutton Faces Rape Accusation

Timothy Hutton is accused of raping a 14-year-old girl in 1983, which is absolutely awful. If it’s true, it means that not only is he a rapist but he also mastered time travel and instead of killing Hitler he’s just raping people. Absolute monstrous behavior.

Okay, the girl was actually 14 in 1983 and is 50 now, which makes a little more sense. Kind of weirded out about Page Six’s reporting that 14 was the age of consent in Canada at the time, though.

Here’s how Page Six describes the accusations:

Johnston claimed that she told the men something like, “I don’t think this is a good idea,” and “I don’t think my mother would be too happy about this.”

But “to everything I would say, it was, ‘It’ll be OK, it’ll be OK. It won’t last long, and you’ll be fine,’ ” Johnston said.

Hutton raped her, and his unnamed friend forced her to perform oral sex on him, she said.

The other man is not named.

That’s pretty disturbing, and she says it happened after Hutton and his friends invited her and her friends to his hotel room and offered them booze after picking them up at a restaurant.

Hutton, however, disputes this story, which accuser Sera Johnston initially relayed to Buzzfeed. Hutton told Page Six the incident never happened and the allegations are being made as part of an extortion scheme.

“The woman featured in the BuzzFeed article, Sera Dale Johnston, has tried to extort millions of dollars from Tim over the last two years. The article was published only after those extortion attempts failed.”

The lawyer claimed that BuzzFeed “shamefully disregarded the facts and allowed itself to be used by Ms. Johnston.

“BuzzFeed recklessly disregarded multiple sworn declarations from neutral third parties that absolutely show Ms. Johnston’s allegations to be false. In addition, BuzzFeed ignored hard evidence that Ms. Johnston lied about participating in extortion attempts and turned a blind eye to critical inconsistencies in Ms. Johnston’s story.

“Tim is prepared to take any and all necessary steps, including the filing of a defamation lawsuit, to clear his name and to hold BuzzFeed and Ms. Johnston accountable for their reckless and self-serving efforts to destroy Tim’s reputation and career.”

Now we can’t say who is lying and who is telling the truth here, and if you’ve ever seen Rashomon you know no one is ever 100% honest. But if you were going to try to extort an actor for millions of dollars, why on Earth would you choose Timothy Hutton?

Unless that was part of your plan to make it seem more believable and to insulate yourself from the relentless attacks of his fan.

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