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Keith Raniere Got 120 Years In Jail, Seems Worth it For Sex With Chloe From ‘Smallville’

Do you think Allison Mack let Keith Raniere call her Watchtower while he was infusing her with his healing sperm? Because if she did, I think it might be worth the subsequent 120-year jail sentence for running a sex cult.

I would like to believe that you can have sex with Allison Mack without starting a cult and exploiting a bunch of women, but she is a classy broad, you really have to bring your A-game here. Of course, by A game I mean vaguely new-agey self-help sounding bullshit no one who stopped and thought about it for even a second would buy but for some reason, Mack swallowed with a spoon.

The judge in Raniere’s case said at the sentencing “Despite everything that has happened and despite the countless victims who have given voice to their great pain, Mr. Raniere remains unmoved. Indeed, he maintains his innocence. To him, the brave victims who have spoken out about the abuse suffered at his hands — including those who spoke today — are liars.”

Now, I’m not a big fan of the way the legal system is much harder on people who maintain their innocence in light of the huge number of people who are wrongfully convicted, but I think we all know Keith Raniere isn’t one of those people. He was very rightfully convicted and you can tell because the women he was convicted of trafficking have been branded with his initials like cattle.

The important thing here is I think it means Allison Mack is back on the market. Allison, if you’re allowed to have conjugal visits in prison, I represent a unique human development & women’s movement and I think we could work together. Let me know if you’re willing to chat.

The post Keith Raniere Got 120 Years In Jail, Seems Worth it For Sex With Chloe From ‘Smallville’ appeared first on The Blemish.

NXIVM Sex Cult Leader Gets Glowing Endorsement From Allison Mack’s Wife, ‘Battlestar Galactica’ Actress Nicki Clyne

When people are sentenced after being convicted of a crime, the judge will generally hear from people who were harmed by the defendant as well as people speaking on their behalf. While anyone can write a letter to a judge, I feel like maybe brainwashed members of the cult the defendant was in charge of should at least be given less weight than other people in sentencing.

Nicki Clyne, who played Cally in Battlestar Galactica and is married to Smallville’s Allison Mack, wrote a letter to the judge in Keith Raniere’s sex cult trial asking for leniency because he’s such an upstanding guy.

Here’s what she wrote, from Page Six.

“I find this idea completely absurd and even offensive — as a woman and a partner of Keith’s for over a decade,” Clyne wrote in a letter of support for Raniere unsealed Tuesday in Brooklyn federal court.

“I have never known Keith to want intimacy with someone who doesn’t want it, and it’s a ridiculous notion to think he would have gone to all that trouble for sex.”

Well, yeah, I mean, we’ve all seen the pure animal magnetism of Keith Raniere, he could get any woman he wanted.

This guy is like the least charismatic cult leader of all time.

“My testimony would have countered much of what the prosecution’s witnesses alleged and dismantled the Government’s entire theory about DOS, reframing it from a sinister ‘sex cult,’ to a group of women who sought guidance from a trusted and intelligent man, and created a secret sorority for women that implemented some somewhat unconventional practices in the pursuit of growth and personal freedom,” she wrote.

She also rejected that members were motivated out of fear that their collateral would be released.

“Not only was collateral never intended to be used in this way, there are numerous examples of women going against or failing to do what they committed to, and no one’s collateral was ever released,” Clyne argued.

The fact that it was called “collateral” at all was an implied threat. If it was just called “pictures of the girl from Smallville you had a crush on spreading her vagina open for funsies” this would be a more convincing argument.

Clyne just really sounds like a person who is in a cult. And everyone knows it the second she opens her mouth, like that episode of King of the Hill where Luanne joins the sorority. It’s sad and it’s not her fault and hopefully she figures it out.

The post NXIVM Sex Cult Leader Gets Glowing Endorsement From Allison Mack’s Wife, ‘Battlestar Galactica’ Actress Nicki Clyne appeared first on The Blemish.

With His Trump Support, We’re Supposed to Believe 50 Cent Is Rich Now

In 2016, 50 Cent claimed to a bankruptcy judge that he was broke and that all the money he put up on Instagram was fake. 50 claimed he was just trying to maintain his brand. Later, he’d admit to Conan that this was all part of his plan to protect his assets from lawsuits.

A couple of years later, Floyd Mayweather got into a feud with 50 and reiterated that he was broke.

On Monday, the uncancellable 50 Cent went full steam into supporting Trump in the 2020 election because he doesn’t care for the increased taxes on Americans earning more than $400,000 a year.

The fact he is “bankrupt” was not lost on him.

So, sure, take advice from a guy who has enough money to pay lawyers to figure out how to hide his money from other lawyers and who doesn’t care if his kids live or die. I’m sure he’s looking out for your best interest and not just trying to hoard enough dollar bills for the next time he wants to go to the strip club.

Also, 50 Cent probably doesn’t even know how taxes work. If you tried to explain it to him, he’d probably tap you on the nuts and call you a fucking nerd.

The post With His Trump Support, We’re Supposed to Believe 50 Cent Is Rich Now appeared first on The Blemish.

Enough With the Damn Murder Docs, Netflix

I miss the days of the old Netflix.

I mean, I don’t miss the old, old Netflix, where you had to rent individual films, which were then mailed to you, which you then had to return (??) at a store. No, I definitely don’t miss that strange Twilight Zone-esque era in which we all apparently lived.

No, I miss the era where Netflix made original content, not just nonfiction documentaries. Where I could go over to a girl’s place for a date and we pop on some Big Mouth or some BoJack Horseman (okay, maybe not that last one) to watch.

Nowadays, all we get are pages upon pages of murder documentaries. True crime, multi-part miniseries where you spend six hours getting into the psychology of this or that killer. Docuseries that give us four episodes on the planning, one episode on the actual act, and three more episodes on the ramifications.

It’s exhausting. It seems like today Netflix has fully jumped onto the bandwagon of binge-watching documentaries on murders, assaults, and robberies, so that now we’re all subjected to the same stories of terrible men (and sometimes women, but let’s be real, mostly men) doing terrible things.

Where did it start? Well, while clearly these existed prior to this event, I would argue the 2016 docuseries O.J.: Made in America is actually the catalyst. This miniseries, which aired on ESPN as part of their 30 for 30 series of documentaries, took a look at race and celebrity through the lens of O.J. Simpson’s life and career.

It talked about his football career’s origins at the University of Southern California, it talked about the height of his success and prosperity as a football legend…and it, obviously, talked about the second half of his life, from the murder trial to even the 2007 robbery conviction.

The Ezra Edelman-directed docuseries was a cultural event, inescapable in the first half of 2016 due to its ability to meld the story of O.J. in with general racial overtones in Los Angeles. It inflamed, questioned, and criticized the way in which the “Trial of the Century” was painted by the relationship between African-Americans in the city and the police.

Once everyone saw the awards and ratings it pulled in, it was all over.

While nuanced television analysts would tell you that the series saw such success, way more than other ESPN 30 for 30 entries, due to its complex grappling with what O.J.’s rise and fall meant for a historically disenfranchised community, television executives are not nuanced analysts.

They saw that big murder = money money money.

And thus it began. Every famous crime of the past half-century, especially those committed by celebrities, got a documentary miniseries on it, regardless of its relevance to the greater world today.

Lifetime got in on it with Surviving R. Kelly in January 2019, perhaps the first true case of cancel culture. Y’know how for years we all kind of just knew he was a monster and yet that was the end of it, we just all moved on with our days accepting the industry rumors?

Well, less than a month after the documentary finished airing, R. Kelly’s record label had dropped him as an artist, and ten different charges of sexual abuse had been filed against him. Goes to show, sometimes all it really takes is a Dream Hampton documentary.

Netflix went big with just having entire television shows dedicated to certain murders or crimes. The hit show Making a Murderer was entirely dedicated to the story of Steven Avery and his conviction, and later exoneration, of sexual assault and murder – before he was then convicted again of a separate murder.

They also feature smaller, single-episode cases, such as the third episode of the first season of Dark Tourist, entirely focused on the infamous Jeffrey Dahmer case. This pairs nicely with the Oxygen documentary that goes through the entire Dahmer case and its consequences, in case that screwed-up story is more your style.

Then, there’s HBO, who obviously spent all of that sweet sweet dragon money (assuming they still get money from that show despite its trash finale) on the big one. HBO’s 2019 documentary Leaving Neverland went after the white (no pun intended) whale himself, Michael Jackson.

Now, the O.J. Simpson case was theoretically the Trial of the Century, right? But I don’t know that anybody predicted how much of a shockwave the Michael Jackson documentary would send out when it aired in March of last year.

After all, the allegations of Jackson being a creep around little boys (and sometimes girls) go back decades – I believe the first one was in like 1993. And yet, the impact was undeniable.

A decade after his death, a series of interviews with two alleged victims, Wade Robson and James Safechuck, completely rocked the world. Every journalist desperate for a Friday-night story hopped on it, while the legions of Jackson fans who didn’t dare question their own love for the King of Pop came out in droves to defend him against slander.

HBO didn’t claim that he did it, they simply stood by their creators making content. And that’s exactly the point. These channels, these streaming services, they don’t care about the truth or about the real story.

They just know that we love a good, juicy story, we love overly-edited interviews and multi-hour documentaries on why our heroes were actually terrible people.

In theory, good journalism would be the way to uncover the truth, but you can’t put on a New York Times article while you cuddle with your girlfriend, so instead, we get a smattering of murder mystery documentaries.

It’s genius, really.

And the ironic part of it all is that the original, the one that kicked off this current wave of murder mystery documentaries, was the ESPN O.J. Simpson one. Made in America wasn’t an exploitative cash-grab designated to repeat facts we already know with higher production value.

And yet, all of its peers are. Oh well.

Guess this is what we get when we let Netflix dominate our dates.

The post Enough With the Damn Murder Docs, Netflix appeared first on The Blemish.

Following Chris Evans and Cardi B, Ashley Graham Drops Nude Selfie on Instagram

Posting yourself naked on social media is all the rage with celebrities these days. I guess Ashley Graham didn’t want to be left out of the attention Chris Evans and Cardi B were getting, because she also posted a nude picture to Instagram, although she did it on purpose.

View this post on Instagram

nakie big girl 👋🏽

A post shared by A S H L E Y G R A H A M (@ashleygraham) on

You know, it’s never great when you pose naked and the headlines call it “empowering.” It’s an interesting time period where the more conventionally attractive someone is the meaner people are to them when they get naked.

I don’t even think Graham is that big, she’s a little thick but she still basically has the same body type as Marilyn Monroe.

Page Six highlighted a few celebrity responses, such as Emily Ratajkowski saying “Beauty girl,” which is probably to be expected because they’re friends but also, I don’t comment like that on my friends’ half-naked selfies on social media.

I mean, I am glad Graham feels comfortable posting naked photos of herself on Instagram, I just hope she takes a step back and puts her arms behind her head next time. After the last few weeks, I almost expect her to “accidentally” post that picture next,

The post Following Chris Evans and Cardi B, Ashley Graham Drops Nude Selfie on Instagram appeared first on The Blemish.

Kristen Johnston Wants You to Stop Harassing Her, Go Harass Kirstie Allie Instead

Kirstie Alley pissed a lot of people off by endorsing Donald Trump for president. A while back, a group of internet trolls discovered that they could be as vile as they wanted to anyone as long as they harassed the right people, and Kirstie Allie is currently the right person. Even celebrities got in on it.

Everyone used to really talk s**t about Shelley Long after she quit Cheers to be a movie star, her career never really recovered from it. Apatow couldn’t even spell her name correctly, you think he really thinks that highly of her?

I actually sent a similar tweet to Kirk Acevedo when he was attacking Bernie Sanders, telling him his take was as bad as his acting on Arrow, and Acevedo seemed genuinely hurt by it so I apologized and he continued to be a dick about it so f**k that guy. Notably, I didn’t say I didn’t mean what I said, just that it was harsh because let’s face it, he didn’t exactly turn around the show’s decline and I think he picked up on that.

Anyway, all the harassment of Alley has lead to what the people doing the harassing might call a negative side effect: Kristen Johnston, who is not Kirstie Alley in any way, has also been being harassed for being Kirstie Alley.

Johnston is notably a Biden supporter, which, I mean, six of one, I sent in my ballot already and I didn’t vote for either of them. I honestly don’t see why people are getting so worked up about this, Biden and Trump are both terrible.

And there’s really no reason to harass either of these actresses over their politics, hasn’t life been hard enough on them? They each had one good role and then spent the rest of their careers doing some truly terrible shows like Veronica’s Closet and Mom. That’s punishment enough for anyone.

The post Kristen Johnston Wants You to Stop Harassing Her, Go Harass Kirstie Allie Instead appeared first on The Blemish.

Current Mood: Missing Jon Stewart

The world’s on fire.

We all agree on that, right? Between the election, the pandemic, the racial problem, the Supreme Court battle, and the looming economic crisis, things are just on fire out here nowadays.

2020 has been one consistent hellfire of a year, from murder hornets and the weak music releases to the death of Black Panther himself, Chadwick Boseman.

We’re all going to need a heavy drink when all of this is over (some of us have already gotten a head start, beginning our burgeoning alcoholism in early March) – but that doesn’t mean historically it’s the worst year we’ve ever had.

The 2008 crisis, the 2013 government shutdown. 9/11. The Ebola crisis in 2014, or any number of the hurricanes that have wrecked our shores. We’ve been through horrid years before. The difference was, it was easier to laugh because we had truly great comedians, absurdist voices to bring us through the dark until we found the light. Most notably? Jon Stewart.

The Daily Show with Jon Stewart (1999-2015) was the predominant political comedy show of the modern era. For sixteen long years, its host was a comforting sight, a consistently hilarious satirist who would digest the day’s news for us. Four nights a week, he tore apart biased news organizations and dissected politicians’ lies, until we felt like the world was fair again.

Not to imply that today we don’t have decent late-night talk shows still airing throughout all the misery. Yes, Jimmy Fallon over at The Tonight Show is a joke and Seth Meyers remains the host with the creepiest eyes ever (though his comic book love is pretty cool), but there are a few strong hosts, many of them students of Jon Stewart themselves.

Take John Oliver, host of Last Week Tonight over on HBO, as an example. He’s a Stewart disciple, who landed his own show gig after guest-hosting The Daily Show in Stewart’s absence for six weeks during the summer of 2013. There’s Samantha Bee, host of Full Frontal, as well as Stephen Colbert, who isn’t nearly as funny on The Late Show as he was on The Colbert Report but is still good for a laugh.

None of this to even mention The Daily Show’s current host, South African comedian Trevor Noah, who has ushered the long-running program into a new, younger, fresher era since the fall of 2015.

That being said, these great comedians’ talents aside, none of them are Jon Stewart. None of them bring the same laughs, nor the same political edge and analysis. In the case of Trevor Noah specifically, none of them could hope to fill Stewart’s ever-large comedic shoes.

It’s quite simple: you can throw as many Adam Driver jokes or Trump tweets in your segment as you want, it’s simply not the same as the original comedian, who would flame the GOP, Arby’s, and himself all in one bit.

But was Jon Stewart the greatest to ever do it in political comedy due to luck, just arriving at the right time (at the turn of the century) in order to garner critical and commercial success?

More likely is that he brought exactly what America needed, right when it needed it. He saw just how outdated and out-of-touch our traditional media was in receiving the 24/7 news cycle being propagated by CNN, FOX News, and MSNBC. So, he created a new style of show.

Taking over from the less political Craig Kilburn in the late 1990s, Stewart revamped The Daily Show into a cutting, satirical political comedy show that incinerated fraudsters and poor policies. It covered the 2000 presidential election with scorn and derision, one matching many Americans’.

Then came 9/11, where an emotional Stewart’s impassioned monologue completely summed up the feelings of many New Yorkers in the aftermath. This is where Stewart went from being a funny fresh liberal voice to the voice of the modern American generation, at once funny and heartfelt.

It was followed by the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, as well as the 2004 and 2008 presidential elections, demonstrating Jon Stewart’s versatility in tackling issues of foreign policy, domestic policy, environment, healthcare, immigration, and more.

Over these next few years, he became one of television’s biggest hits, as evidenced by his 24 Peabody Award wins. Along with Chappelle’s Show, he ushered in a golden age for Comedy Central, and somewhere along the process became an ingrained part of the culture he so frequently lambasted.

Polls regularly showed him as being considered more trustworthy by most viewers than CNN, while his constant political takedowns of policymakers made him a favorite among the disenfranchised politically-minded youth.

The show’s war on the disinformation coming out of FOX News only helped, as Stewart and his writers spent years taking on every lie from America’s #1-rated news network.

He was like the Avatar, maintaining balance in this screwed-up world we all live in. And just like the Avatar, when the world needed him most…he vanished.

Stewart retired in August 2015, citing a desire to spend more time with family, and was promptly replaced by Trevor Noah that fall.

And yet, at the end of the day, when I see how absurd everything seems nowadays – I mean, seriously…murder hornets? – I tend to always think the same thing: I miss Jon Stewart.

I miss his voice, his reasoned takes, his ridiculous accent showcasing his New York Jewish roots. I especially miss his ability to take the unfunny and make it palatable.

Having The Daily Show with Jon Stewart back on wouldn’t change the situation or anything; as he himself once said, “We couldn’t stop the Iraq War, we tried. I couldn’t even get Jim Kramer off the air.” But without a doubt, it’d provide a much-needed laugh, a critical analysis that’s been sorely missing.

Perhaps most importantly, Stewart’s reasoned voice and empathetic sense of humor, much like it did after 9/11 and during the Great Recession, would remind us all that we’re not crazy, and we’re not alone.

#JonStewart #TheDailyShow #LateNightTV

The post Current Mood: Missing Jon Stewart appeared first on The Blemish.

Zachery Ty Bryan, Former Home Improvement Star, Arrested for Allegedly Strangling His Girlfriend

Zachery Ty Bryan, an actor best known for playing one of Tim Allen's kids on the ABC sitcom Home Improvement, is in police custody for allegedly strangling his 27-year-old girlfriend.

Zachery Ty Bryan

The 39-year-old actor was arrested and taken to the Lane County Jail in Eugene, Oregon on Saturday, Oct. 17, according to numerous sources and outlets.

A spokesperson for the Eugene Police Department has told E! News that Bryan faces charges of "strangulation, assault in the fourth degree and interfering with making a report."

This same department says it sound Bryan sitting outside his apartment when they arrived on the scene.

He was booked into Lane County jail after 1 a.m. Saturday.

Zachery Ty Bryan Mug Shot

At the time the police arrived at Bryan's residence, after responding to reports of a physical dispute, the unnamed victim was at a neighboring apartment.

"An investigation found that during the dispute, Bryan is reported to have assaulted the victim, impeded her breathing, and taken the victim's phone from her when she tried to call 911," a police spokesperson says.

"The victim declined medics. Bryan was taken into custody without incident and lodged at the Lane County Jail."

Zachery Ty Bryan

While the actor has yet to speak out about his arrest or the incident, he did share an Instagram post the night police arrived at his residence.

"Good night," he simply wrote.

Nearly two weeks ago, Bryan took to social media to announce that he and his longtime wife, Carly Matros, were going their separate ways.

"Almost Fourteen years as best friends, soulmates, partners and then parents. It has been an incredible journey, but together, we've decided to turn the page and move on from our marriage," the ex-sitcom star said on October 1.

Zachery Ty Bryan pic

Added Bryan in the post about his estranged wife:

"As we enter into this next chapter, our children and relationship as co-parents and dear friends will remain our priority.

"We understand this news lends itself to public dialogue, but in the interest of our children and our family, we're asking for privacy, compassion and love during this time.

"Thank you."

Ty Bryan

Bryan was arrested without incident, as outlined above and booked on three charges: strangulation, fourth-degree assault and interfering with making a report.

He posed for his mug shot at Lane County Jail.

Zachery Ty Bryan starred on Home Improvement as Brad Taylor.

He also has appearances on Veronica Mars, Touched by an Angel and Cold Case.

Timothée Chalamet Embarrassed by Photos Kissing Lily-Rose Depp, Not the Whole Peaches and Cream Thing

Timothée Chalamet is most famous for fucking a peach and that is never going to change. He can win an Oscar and 20 years later people are going to see him and say “Hey, aren’t you the guy who fucked the peach?” Don’t believe me? What’s the first thing you think of when I say the name Jason Biggs?

If I was famous for fucking a peach or really anything else that’s not a person, I don’t think I’d have the capacity to be embarrassed by anything else, but Chalamet told GQ that pictures of him making out with Lily-Rose Depp were so embarrassing he never would have considered doing them for PR, as some people suggested.

“I went to bed that night thinking that was one of the best days of my life,” Timothée told me. “I was on this boat all day with someone I really loved, and closing my eyes, I was like, indisputably, ‘That was great.’ And then waking up to all these pictures, and feeling embarrassed, and looking like a real nob? All pale? And then people are like: This is a P.R. stunt. A P.R. stunt?! Do you think I’d want to look like that in front of all of you?!

I don’t know about you, but I find kissing Johnny Depp’s daughter a lot less embarrassing than fucking a peach. Hell, Kevin Smith’s daughter and that hot actress from A.P. Bio they’re friends with also rank way below fruits and vegetables on the old embarrassment scale.

I honestly cannot think of any human being I’d be embarrassed to be seen kissing if I were famous for fucking a peach. Even President Trump, who is spray painted to be the color of a fruit and is going to rallies talking about how he’ll make out with dudes now to prove how immune to COVID he is, sounds like a better proposition to me.

The post Timothée Chalamet Embarrassed by Photos Kissing Lily-Rose Depp, Not the Whole Peaches and Cream Thing appeared first on The Blemish.

The Brother-King (Idiots) of the Internet

Disney Channel used to have a show, Pair of Kings, about two egocentric, imbecilic teenagers who become, through a series of uncanny events, become the kings of a remote Pacific island. Most of the show was mindless comedy and a lack of plot development, but it was still a hit.

Which brings me to today’s subject.

If there’s one thing that’s definitely changed in the modern age, it’s the way we interact with and use the Internet (he says, talking like a grandpa who has just figured out how to work the modem…does anyone still say modem at all, or just me? Just me? Damn.)

We’ve all become so connected to social media, to search engines, and to news sites that we spend our days on them, waking up in the morning to read Twitter like a newspaper and streaming funny cat videos before we go to sleep at night.

Not that I need to tell you how much we love our digital pop culture – you’re on this website, after all. But the developed world has changed in the way we handle the Internet so much that in 2006 ‘You’ became the Time Person of the Year (too much controversy).

Which leads us to a relatively new development in the Age of Celebrity and the Age of Technology: the digital duo. Specifically? The brother-kings of social media, epitomized perhaps best by the Paul brothers of YouTube and the Lopez brothers of TikTok.

If past generations had Abbott & Costello and the Three Stooges, we haven’t been so blessed. Instead, we’ve gotten Logan & Jake Paul, some of the biggest YouTubers of the 2010s, as well as the newest superstars, TikTok’s Tony & Ondreaz Lopez.

Let’s start with the Paul brothers. These guys are idiots by every conceivable measure. If there’s something stupid to be done, they’ve done it.

That guy who filmed a comedy video in Japan’s suicide forest? That was Logan Paul. The guy who threw a legendary COVID-19 party in his Calabasas mansion and posted the whole thing online? His brother, Jake Paul.

The one who used a Taser on two dead rats? Logan Paul. The one who’s gotten the cops called on him so many times he lost a starring role on a television series? Jake Paul. The one who proposed a ‘male-only March’ where everyone goes gay for a month? Logan. The one who went to P.F. Chang’s before filming the looting occurring in a Scottsdale shopping mall? Jake.

Logan and Jake Paul have done so much stupid crap over the years it’s actually somewhat impressive. They both got their start on the ultra-popular video-sharing app Vine in 2013-2014, where they each began amassing massive profiles with millions of followers and billions of views.

Then Vine shut down and the two moved on to bigger and better ways to piss off the world (and bring their ‘content’ to their fanbase of teenage girls) by switching over to YouTube. They quickly became some of the biggest faces of the platform, largely by their antics and general stupidity.

While initially they worked much together, over the years they began having an on-again, off-again feud that presumably is staged, but could very easily be true, knowing these guys.

Then there are the Lopez brothers. If Vine was a huge success in its 2013-2014 heyday, then TikTok today is unstoppable (yes, even by Trump and the country of India), with its over two billion mobile downloads and users.

The Lopez brothers, early twenty-somethings named Tony and Ondreaz, have quickly risen in the ranks to become some of TikTok’s biggest success stories. Ondreaz alone has amassed over a million followers on Twitter, not an easy feat for a Gen Z-er whose last known job experience would be high school student.

This duo got its start a few years ago on the fledgling Chinese social media app, but really took off when it merged with musical.ly, creating the largest music sharing social media application in the world. From there, they were unstoppable.

Much like the Team 10 collaborative house owned by Jake Paul, the Lopez brothers make up part of the Hype House, a Los Angeles-based collaborative house that lets them all live and play and ‘create’ (with the loosest possible definition of the term) together.

Unlike the Paul brothers, however, Ondreaz and Tony have more or less stuck together; while they have their own separate accounts (Ondreaz is far more popular than his brother, for whatever reason), they are often together, creating content and posting videos full of ridiculous dancing or stupid jokes.

They’re still just as prone to idiocy, as demonstrated by Tony’s recent controversy over numerous flirty comments made to underage and seemingly-underage girls.

Another area of similarity is in the diversification of their work. The Paul brothers have each starred in wide-release television shows or movies (Jake was on Disney Channel, while Logan has been starring in a Netflix series of horror movies since 2016 known as The Thinning). Neither is particularly impressive, or even remotely good, but it does broaden their appeal.

Meanwhile, in Lopez-land, Ondreaz has just released “NO BAILA,” a mindless dance-pop banger that has already accumulated almost two million streams on Spotify in the one month it’s been out. Not bad for a TikTok star who went viral based off his poor dancing abilities.

Even more impressive when you comb the lyrics and realize that Ondreaz (who doesn’t speak Spanish) most likely just sang, while producer/engineer Pablo “Vya” Viayra did all the heavy lifting on the songwriting front.

Not to say any of these are crimes or even screw-ups severe enough to warrant much punishment beyond ridicule (well, except for Jake Paul’s little COVID party…that warrants an ass-beating and some jail-time, in whatever order you’d like). These Gen-Z celebrities are simply riding a wave of positivity and mindless fun to the fame and fortune they’ve always wanted.

But in the era of trends that come and go (I mean, anyone else remember when RayWilliamJohnson was the biggest YouTube celebrity ever?), it’s definitely a testament to our current culture that these two particular duos are the brother-kings of the internet.

No such thing as free clout, after all.

The post The Brother-King (Idiots) of the Internet appeared first on The Blemish.

Is Lily James With Chris Evans, Hooking Up With Married Dominic West Or Both?

When I heard Lily James was dating Chris Evans, my first thought was “Jesus, save some first names for the rest of us, guys.” Then I saw Chris Evan’s monster hog and figured she would marry him, who wouldn’t?

But Lily James was spotted making out with Dominic West, according to Cinema Blend.

According to reports, Lily James and Dominic West were caught snogging together while on a quick trip to Rome. The couple were scene “dining al fresco,” according to the Daily Mail when they were seen publicly flirting and kissing. They later were also seen sightseeing together on their little jaunt away from their working lives.

West is married, though, and you would think it would cause marital problems. If it is, West and wife Catherine FitzGerald aren’t letting on, as Page Six reports the couple are still happily together.

Dominic West and wife Catherine FitzGerald insisted in a handwritten note shown to paparazzi that their marriage “is strong” — and kissed for photographers outside their family home — after pictures emerged this week of West getting cozy with actress Lily James in Rome.

“Our marriage is strong and we’re very much still together,” read the note, signed by both West and FitzGerald. “Thank you.”

Well, seemingly.

Notably, “The Affair” actor wasn’t wearing his wedding ring and FitzGerald kept her left hand in her pocket. West, 50, declined to answer any questions regarding his recent Roman holiday with 31-year-old James, who is his co-star in the series “Pursuit of Love.”

A little on the nose that he was in The Affair, isn’t it?

Remember when Kristen Stewart hooked up with that married director and she got fired off of the sequel to the movie she was filming and became a pariah until she started dating a woman? Let’s maybe not do that again here.

The post Is Lily James With Chris Evans, Hooking Up With Married Dominic West Or Both? appeared first on The Blemish.

Kanye West Actually Made a Presidential Campaign Commercial

I don’t have a problem with third-party candidates. I’ve actually voted for third-Party candidates in fully half the presidential elections I’ve voted in. That does not change the fact that Kanye West should be nowhere near the office of President of the United States, he hasn’t had a good political opinion since September 2nd, 2005.

Kanye doesn’t sound like that now, he just repeats dumbass talking points he got from idiots like Candice Owens.

Yeah, there’s a reason I’m not voting for him. Despite the fact that Kanye’s run for President is most charitably described as an attempt to sell Kanye for President merch, he’s gone ahead and produced a campaign ad.

You usually have to go to a brand-name Republican for that level of Christofascism barely hidden beneath empty platitudes.

I’m not sure what Kanye is actually trying to accomplish with this run for President; candidates like Jo Jorgensen and Howie Hawkins are trying to build a viable opposition to the two parties we currently have, so while they don’t expect to win and the people voting for them don’t expect them to win, but there’s a purpose to their candidacy. Kanye isn’t trying to build anything except his own personal brand.

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Blake Jenner’s ‘Apology’ to Melissa Benoist Doesn’t Mention Her Name, Accuses Her of Abuse

One thing that always drove me crazy watching Supergirl was the scar on Melissa Benoist’s forehead. I always thought they should have covered it up because Supergirl definitely wouldn’t have a scar like that. Or at least put a similar scar on the actress playing her as a child on Krypton.

Over the years, Benoist has told a number of stories about how she got that scar, but last year she told everyone the truth, that her ex-husband and Glee co-star Blake Jenner gave it to her when he whipped an iPhone at her head.

On Thursday, Jenner (no relation to Kylie or Kendall) admitted what he did, took responsibility, and apologized.

Kind of.

See, he did those things, but he also said Benoist was the real abuser, including claiming she broke his nose, and failed to mention her name once in the entire post.

So who is telling the truth? Well, I don’t know, no one knows but Benoist and Jenner.

Here’s what I do know: this is Stephen Fry.

See the way his nose bends? That’s because it was broken when he was a child. Blake Jenner’s nose looks fine and Melissa Benoist has a scar on her face that is so prominent that I thought her current TV show should have explained how her character got it.

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In Short: F*ck Yo Couch

In the same way that classic rock fans will debate the greatest guitarists in history (it’s Jimi Hendrix), or hip hop fans will debate the greatest rapper alive (it’s Jay-Z), comedy connoisseurs love to debate who’s the GOAT – the Greatest Of All Time – in comedy.

Secular atheists will tell you George Carlin. Faux-intellectuals will tell you Charlie Chaplin and his physical brand of humor. Fans of classic comedy will tell you either Richard Pryor or Eddie Murphy. Your edgy uncle will tell you Bill Burr, because he, and I quote, “Tells it like it is.”

But really, the answer to this query is quite simple. Who is the only comedian to have a career spanning four decades, among movies, television, stand-up, award shows, and whatever the hell 8:46 was earlier this year?

If you guessed Dave Chappelle, congratulations, you’re correct.

Yes, from his cult classic films in the late 1990s – as poorly as they may have aged – to the smash sensation that was Chappelle’s Show in the 2000s to the past few years of biting stand-up specials filmed for Netflix, Dave Chappelle is the undisputed GOAT of comedy.

Let’s break down why.

Longtime fans of the man himself will call back to his comedic career beginnings in the 1990s. Between stoner comedy films like Half Baked and his classic presence as a legendary stand-up staple in shows on both coasts.

Perhaps the highest success of this early era, the HBO-aired Killin’ Them Softly, showed a national audience early on why this man was a legend in the making. He excoriated gender roles, lampooned drug use in black culture, and even noted how his race was moving up on the social totem pole due to white Americans being so afraid of Arabs.

Chappelle followed up this masterpiece four years later with For What It’s Worth, solidifying himself in the stand-up lane as an icon. However, he had higher aspirations than just doing stand-ups, and those aspirations helped inform his cultural status today.

The obvious culprit is Chappelle’s Show, which ran on Comedy Central from 2003 to 2006. By the time of its second season, the show, co-created by Dave and comedic partner Neal Brennan, was the highest-rated show on the network.

It introduced the world to comedic rising stars such as Bill Burr and Joe Rogan, as well as revitalized the career of past legends such as Arsenio Hall and Charlie Murphy. Musical game-changers like Jamie Foxx, Kanye West, and Mos Def all played roles on the show, as did jazz rap visionaries like Q-Tip and the Roots.

Chappelle’s Show was at once a once-in-a-lifetime cultural phenomenon, a forum where the best of humor and music intersected, and a raucously cutting sketch comedy series. In just under thirty episodes, the series single-handedly crippled the sketch comedy sphere, as every poor imitation (Key & Peele, Inside Amy Schumer, etc.) fell so far short of the original.

Antagonistic comedy sketches dealing with gender, sexuality, fame, and especially race formed the backbone of Chappelle’s Show, leading to mass popularity and critical acclaim. Today it’s widely considered as one of the best TV shows of the twenty-first century, and one of the best comedy shows of all time.

Comedy Central understood the ratings cash cow that the show was, leading them to infamously offer Dave $50 million for a third and fourth season, which he declined. Citing creative exhaustion and comedic fatigue, as well as disillusionment with the show’s process and success, Dave fled to South Africa, quitting the show and leaving television for more or less forever.

The next decade was pretty quiet for Chappelle, who would pop up once or twice in a surprise venue for a show – or as part of a Kendrick Lamar routine at the Grammy’s. When he did eventually return, however, he came to burn down the house.

In the back half of the 2010s, Netflix announced that it had signed an exclusive streaming deal for new Dave Chappelle stand-up specials, at twenty million dollars per special. Yes, that’s right. Twenty million – per special.

Unsurprisingly under terms like those, Chappelle has been a busy, busy man these past few years, releasing five specials since 2017. However, if you’d think that his quality level would go down because he’s going from being a ghost to being one of the most prolific comedians of the late 2010s, you’d be mistaken.

Dave Chappelle is on fire. In fact, he’s arguably more on fire now than ever before.

Don’t get me wrong, I adore watching Chappelle’s Show reruns and putting in my DVD of Killin’ Them Softly (when I can find a DVD player). But if young Dave was a misanthropic, absurd satirist, ready to set fire to the world that has consistently screwed over his loved ones, older Dave is something else altogether.

In 2019’s Sticks & Stones, arguably his most notorious stand-up special in years, Dave spends nearly an hour lampooning cancel culture. He roasts Jussie Smollett, he compares the LGBT+ movement to a car where three out of the four people feel like they’d get a lot farther without the final person, and he tears into Michael Jackson, R. Kelly…and their accusers.

In Los Angeles, he chides the #MeToo activists (with whom he agrees) for taking things so far that the blowback has fallen on women everywhere, while in Texas he discusses the parallels he sees between the current opioid epidemic and the crack crisis of the 1980s – and as he says, he understands now why white people didn’t care back then.

This modern era of Dave Chappelle is lean, mean, and cynical. He’ll just as easily do a twenty-minute monologue with no jokes about police brutality, like he did earlier this year following the George Floyd killing, as he will make jokes about Lil Wayne lyrics he can’t relate to.

He’s an older, bitterer man, but still a comedian who we can all rally around for saying the things we never dare. He’s still the best storyteller in comedy, and this current era has proven once and for all that Dave Chappelle is the GOAT of comedy.

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Kim Kardashian Nursed Kanye Through COVID Before He Called Her a White Supremacist on Social Media

The past few months have made a few things exceptionally clear, specifically that Kim Kardashian is a really good person and Kanye West is… not.

You may recall how Kanye decided to run for President and used his campaign to air all his dirty laundry with his wife Kim Kardashian, who we now know has a heart as big as her ass.

Page Six reported on exactly what Kim did for Kanye when he had COVID, and I absolutely wouldn’t hold a campaign rally and tell everyone she considered an abortion if she did that for me.

“Kanye had it way at the beginning, when nobody really knew what was going on,” she told Grazia magazine. “It was so scary and unknown. I had my four babies and no one else in the house to help.”

The star said that she had to change his sheets and help him get out of bed “when he wasn’t feeling good.”

“It was a challenge because it was so unknown,” she said. “Changing his sheets with gloves and a face shield was really a scary time.”

I don’t even remember hearing about Kanye getting COVID, that’s how crazy he was acting all summer. He was acting more outlandish than a global pandemic. That’s impressive even for Kanye West.

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Melania Trump Sounds Super Jealous of ‘Porn Hooker’ Stormy Daniels

A lot of people try to shame Melania Trump for having been a nude model, but I always find that a little self-defeating. “Yeah, we’re going to put the entire women’s movement back 50 years to own the First Lady, she’s an international embarrassment because we saw her boobs.” Dude, France’s First Lady is a pedophile and Germany’s First Gentleman is married to Angela Merkel, Melania Trump is not the reason Europeans hate you, she’s one of them.

Now, Donald Trump famously cheated on her with Stormy Daniels, and he didn’t sound all too concerned at the prospect of her leaving him over it. That decision worked out well for her, the finish line is in sight now. Melania also didn’t seem too bothered by the affair, but sue did sound pissed Daniels was getting more attention than she was.

TMZ reported one of Melania’s friends secretly recorded a conversation with the First Lady, and she sounded more jealous of the attention Daniels got than the fact that she had sex with her husband.

Anyway, Melania says … “Go Google and read it, Annie Leibovitz shot the porn hooker, and she will be in one of the issues” Wolkoff responded with confusion about the term “porn hooker,” forcing Melania to say Stormy’s name.

I’m not crazy in thinking the thing Melania is angry about here is that she didn’t get a photo shoot with Annie Leibovitz and not that the husband stuck his tiny Smurf house dick inside Daniels while watching Shark Week, right?

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Amanda Bynes is Unrecognizable in Return to Social Media

I don’t know what happened to Amanda Bynes, but something really screwed her up. Bynes has actually been through a lot recently, so let’s recap that.

She, like Britney Spears, is under a conservatorship, but unlike Britney, no one wants to free her. Britney has been making good decisions and seems to be past the mental health issues that necessitated a conservatorship while Amanda Bynes just got a face tattoo.

Bynes also has a boyfriend she wants to marry but her parents won’t let her, though it seems they can’t keep her from dating him.

She also said she was going to have a baby with him in March, but a few months later it turned out she was not actually pregnant, or at least she wasn’t pregnant anymore by May, we don’t actually know which one it was.

Now Amanda is back on Instagram and she has a whole new look, and this time it’s not just “Amanda Bynes but fat.

If you showed me that picture and told me it was Amanda Bynes without context I’d have told you to f**k off. She looks a bit like a way-less-hot Ariel Winter but wearing the clothes I wore in high school during my grunge phase. Is it a phase if it lasts 20 years?

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Virus Scan Mogul John McAfee Arrested for Not Eating His Own Dong

If you had a computer in the 90s or the early 2000s, you probably remember McAfee VirusScan, the program you ran on your computer to make sure you didn’t get a nasty porn virus that was dialing 900 numbers and posting dicks all over your computer. But did you know that John McAfee, the person responsible for the company that made the ubiquitous software, is fucking crazy?

Last January, Johnny-boy said that income tax is illegal and that he hasn’t paid his income taxes in 8 years and told the IRS “Here I am,” daring them to arrest him.

Yesterday, John McAfee was arrested in Spain to be extradited to the US for not paying his taxes because the rules of the Ayn Rand shitshow in McAfee’s head don’t apply to the real world where the US Constitution says in Article 1, Section 8, Clause 1 “The Congress shall have Power To lay and collect Taxes, Duties, Imposts and Excises, to pay the Debts and provide for the common Defence and general Welfare of the United States.” It doesn’t get clearer than that.

McAfee’s legal problems don’t end there because he’s also being sued by the SEC for the way he used his Twitter account to promote Bitcoin knockoffs.

The SEC lawsuit specifically mentions McAfee promising to “eat his own dick on national TV” if Bitcoin wasn’t worth half a million dollars in three years. Despite being off by a factor of 50 over three years later, he has not yet gobbled down his own choad on Fear Factor.

26. McAfee’s extravagant posts (such as tweeting predictions about BTC price increases and promising to “eat my d**k on national television” if such predictions did not pan out) and interviews about his BTC predictions generated an enormous amount of publicity, especially among the digital asset community. From June 2017—just before McAfee’s first BTC price prediction—to December 2017, McAfee went from roughly 62,000 followers to more than 500,000 on Twitter. His $1,000,000 BTC price prediction garnered more than 12,000 “Likes” and 8,000 “Retweets.”

Really, this is the second-funniest thing I’ve heard all week.

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Tana Mongeau’s ‘Nudes for Biden Votes’ Scheme Appears to Have Backfired Spectacularly

You know what’s not a good idea? Offering people something in exchange for them voting a certain way. Great way to end up in jail or at the very least in some Project Veritas video that people will think is real for a week before whatever scam they pulled comes out.

Tana Mongeau is learning this because it looks like her “I’ll send you naked pictures if you vote for Joe Biden” idea has cost her YouTube channel it’s verification, which does… something, I guess? According to Google, you need it to upload videos longer than 15 minutes or livestream. And it gives viewers the safety of knowing they’re jerking it to a real thot.

TMZ speculated her loss of verification may also be a result of her name changing because of her fake marriage to Jake Paul.

It seems like she had too many requests coming in for nudes to fulfill them all.

I can’t tell you if she sent out any nudes because I already filled out my ballot for Howie Hawkins. But that image of Biden’s face on her body is going to keep me from getting hard for a week.

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Tekashi 6ix9ine ODed on Coffee and Hydroxycut Like a True OG

The other day was the 40 anniversary of Led Zeppelin drummer John Bonham’s death. Bonzo drank 40 shots of vodka and asphyxiated to death on his own vomit.

Tekashi 6ix9ine, who likes to project a real tough-guy image, was rushed to the hospital because he mixed too much coffee with too many diet pills, the most embarrassing celebrity overdose since Lil Xan ODed on Flamin’ Hot Cheetos.

People reports that ”Tekashi told the Shade Room that his overdose was a result of pairing a cup of coffee with two Hydroxycut pills instead of the recommended daily dosage of one.”

Eric Clapton did so much coke that he hasn’t had any feeling in the face since Derek and the Dominos but yeah, no one is tough enough to manage a single cup of coffee.

Remember when Tupac and Biggie killed each other in a gangland shootout directed by John Woo with like, fucking doves flying out of boxes and s**t? Now we’ve got snitches taking an extra diet pill and the wheelchair kid from DeGrassi telling everyone how hard they are,

Xeni Jardin seems more gangster than today’s gangster rappers.

Elvis died on the toilet and even that is a cooler way to go than “took two diet pills instead of one with a venti mochaccino.”

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Chrissy Teigen Had a Miscarriage, Calls it “A Pain We’ve Never Felt Before”

Sad news tonight as Chrissy Teigen announced on Instagram that she lost the child she’d been carrying.

Teigen had been in the hospital for days with bleeding during her pregnancy and in the end, it was just too much and she lost the baby.

Teigen and husband John Legend has two children already, Luna and Miles, and she says that they had been calling their unborn son Jack, stating “So he will always be Jack to us.  Jack worked so hard to be a part of our little family, and he will be, forever.“

She later tweeted about driving home without the baby.

We just want to offer our condolences to Teigen and Legend, it’s a terrible thing to go through.

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Kris Jenner Denies Being a Sexual Harasser

Kris Jenner has been accused of being a sexual harasser and she’s denying it, just like Kevin Spacey and Harvey Weinstein did.

But I do actually believe Jenner her, she wouldn’t do Calmye like that.

Basically, the Kardashian matriarch is accused by a former bodyguard of subjecting him to “a pattern of unwanted and unwelcome sexual advances and other harassing misconduct.”

Here are some details of his allegations from TMZ.

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Nicole Brown Simpson’s Secret Journals are Really Disturbing

Without giving too much detail here, I have a friend who went to school with O.J. Simpson’s kids and he’s absolutely convinced that O.J. did that s**t. I really wasn’t, or at least I think the jury in his case was correct to rule that the prosecution did not prove it beyond a reasonable doubt. But things that have come out since the trial have made it really seem like O.J. did, in fact, do that s**t.

And now Fox News is reporting on the contents of Nicole Brown Simpson’s journals, which have mostly been hidden from the public and were not introduced as evidence in Simpson’s murder trial. They do not exactly paint a picture of a husband who would have a problem murdering his wife.

Nicole wrote that he once allegedly yelled, “Get out my f****** house you fat a** liar!” and allegedly punched and kicked her in 1978 while staying at a hotel, the Daily Mail reports.

“1st time he beat me up after Louis + Nanie Mary anniversary party,” Brown apparently wrote. “Started on the street corner of NYC 5th Ave at about 9 (p.m.)”

Nicole wrote about how he allegedly abused her on 60 different occasions and the abuse ranged from destroying her car to throwing her up against a wall.

“Threw me on the floor, hit me, kicked me. we went to the hotel where he continued to beat me for hours and I continued crawling for the door,” Nicole Brown apparently wrote.

Do you know what part of that is disturbing to me? The matter-of-fact, dispassionate way it reads. “… Continued to beat me for hours” is one of the most chilling things I’ve ever read, if I’m completely honest.

Also, isn’t “destroying her car” one of the super-romantic things Edward did to win Bella over in Twilight? Seems like a super healthy relationship to emulate.

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Allison Mack’s Wife says NXIVM Sex Cult Was Just Girls Having a Fun Time

You know, we’ve heard a lot about NXIVM since news broke that Smallville super-hottie Allison Mack was arrested for being involved in a sex cult at the highest levels of the organization, but I always forget it was a multi-level marketing scheme as well. I might have let my friend sign me up for Amway twenty years ago if there was a chance Chloe Sullivan would sit on my face if I sold enough shitty soap or whatever.

Mack, Clare Bronfman and NXIVM leader Keith Raniere have all either pleaded out or have been convicted and all three are awaiting sentencing. But Mack’s wife Nicki Clyne, who Mack hasn’t been able to speak to for over a year to as a condition of her bail (though rumor has it the marriage is a fake green card wedding anyway), said that the sex cult and the slavery and human trafficking weren’t a big deal and she wished people would look at all the good things NXIVM did.

Via Page Six:

“It’s very unfortunate the way that the word ‘Nxivm’ has been applied and is now synonymous with the term ‘sexual cult,’ which I don’t even know how to define what that is,” Clyne told CBS’ “This Morning”alongside four other Nxivm members.

See, the thing is, all those women wanted to be Keith Raniere’s sex slaves.

Clyne, who allegedly quit her job on the set of “Battlestar” to follow Raniere, admitted to being a part of DOS, but defended the group.

“We’re not denying that certain things took place,” Clyne, who’s never been charged with a crime, told CBS.

“There’s evidence that certain things happened. How they happened, why they happened and why certain people chose them — that’s a whole other conversation.”

And who can blame them? Look at the raw, animal magnetism on display here.

How did that dude become a cult leader? It’s like someone crossed Woody Allen with an NPR reporter and Chloe Sullivan is giving him f**k-me eyes anyway.

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COVID’s Most Crushing Loss: Katy Perry and Orlando Bloom’s Big Extravagant Wedding

COVID has been rough on all of us, but especially Americans. 20% of COVID deaths have been Americans, despite America having just 4% of the world’s population. That’s what you call America exceptionalism. USA! USA! USA!

But perhaps the greatest loss that will affect us the deepest as a nation is the big fancy wedding Katy Perry and Orlando Bloom were planning.

Us Weekly reports that Perry and Bloom have postponed their wedding indefinitely, proving that even rich celebrities aren’t safe from the ravages of COVID.

“Katy and Orlando’s wedding will not be taking place in 2020,” a source exclusively tells Us Weekly. “It just wasn’t meant to be. Their beautiful daughter arrived and she is their sole focus. Planning for any wedding has been put on hold. It will happen, but it’s just not something they are focused on as a couple currently.”

Now, Perry and Bloom could just have a private ceremony with a small number of close family members, like the one that probably killed Ruth Bader Ginsburg. But what good is being a celebrity if you can’t invite a thousand people to a wedding and then call it “small” and “private” and complain that paparazzi tried to ruin your big day?

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Tana Mongeau Appears to Rebounding From Jake Paul With Noah Cyrus, Which Is a Huge Uprade

Things seem to be going well for Tana Mongeau after her fake relationship with Jake Paul ended. She’s being romantically linked to Noah Cyrus now, and that is a huge improvement over Jake Paul, especially in the face.

Via People:

Over the weekend, the YouTube star, 22, and singer, 20, spent a romantic weekend together that ended with Mongeau calling Cyrus girlfriend. “i mean ofc i had to take a break from instagram until she was my girlfriend again,” Mongeau captioned a photo of the two at dinner.

And the two already have their first celebrity shipper: Paris Hilton. “Love you girls!” she commented on the post. “Let’s hang soon!”

Before then, the two shared several clips with each other. Cyrus posted an Instagram story of herself with a few loving gifts she got for the YouTuber: a stuffed bear, flowers and a rolled blunt. In the clip, the “July” singer calls herself “a simp.”

Honestly, Noah Cyrus is a marked improvement for Tana compared to Jake Paul, but we have to admit that the daughter Billy Ray Cyrus didn’t do a creepy incesty photoshoot with is punching above her weight class here.

Is she trying to recreate that picture where Lil Xan pushed his nose against her like he was a Martian who head read about human kissing in a novel?

Yeah, Tana is a huge improvement over a guy who looks like a human quaalude.

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Max Ehrich Appears to Be On The Verge of a Public Breakdown Over Demi Lovato

Apparently, we have not heard the last of Max Ehrich, Demi Lovato’s former fiancé. I thought that once they broke up he was just going to f**k back off to the land of D-list celebs you only hear about when your grandmother’s church is having a movie night and you’re like “Oh yeah, the one from Growing Pains who went crazy.”

TMZ is now reporting that Ehrich is refusing to admit he and Lovato are over, saying they haven’t spoken since the news broke in the tabloids.

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Demi Lovato’s Ex Found Out She Was Dumping Him in the Paper

It’s not an uncommon story that actors find out their TV show was cancelled in the trades or from friends calling to offer condolences. It’s understandable how it happens, though; a network makes a decision and word leaks out to the press before all the cast and crew can be informed.

It’s much less common for someone to find out their engagement is off by reading it in the paper but that’s exactly what Us Weekly is reporting happened to Max Ehrich.

“Imagine finding out about the status of your relationship through a tabloid,” the actor, 29, wrote in an Instagram Story post on Saturday, September 26.

“… While your [sic] in the middle of filming a biopic movie about a Pastor in a Christian Church whose intention of the film is to help people,” he continued before sharing a third post that simply said, “God bless.”

This dude is super Jesusey, no wonder Lovato dumped him. I’m starting to think all those stories about him being in love with Selena Gomez were just a trick to burn her at the stake for promoting witchcraft.

On the bright side, unless Lovato goes on Ellen and tells everyone he has a tiny dick, this is the last we’re going to be hearing about Ehrich outside the dollar DVD bin at Walmart where they keep all those Kevin Sorbo Ayn Rand adaptations about the rapture or whatever the hell it is he’s been doing since Hercules: The Legendary Journeys ended.

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Demi Lovato Ends Engagement, Did Fiancé Just Want Selena Gomez?

Just about a week ago we told you that Demi Lovato’s friends were worried that her fiancé wasn’t interested in her and was instead just trying to get close to Selena Gomez, which honestly never sounded crazy, look me in the eye and tell me that if you were engaged to Demi Lovato you wouldn’t triple-check that you didn’t have a shot with Selena Gomez before going through with it. I don’t know that Max Ehrich for sure was trying to get with Selena Gomez but I do know that he and Lovato called off their engagement.

Page Six talked to an insider just before the break-up happened.

Leading up to the split, a source told Page Six that the pair were struggling to make their relationship work.

“It’s not over yet,” our insider shared hours before the breakup, “but it’s on its way there.”

Clearly, it was. The first clue that they had broken up was that Lovato’s bodyguard and sister stopped following Ehrich on Instagram, and then another insider confirmed the breakup to Page Six.

Now, we don’t know anything about what happened between them, so I’m going to wildly speculate and say that the most likely scenario here is that she caught him taping a picture of Selena Gomez to the back of her head during sex, because I know that’s how I would get through having sex with Demi Lovato if it were me.

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Is Spotify Already Trying to Censor Joe Rogan?

Some people will tell you that only the government can perform the act of censorship and others will crusade in favor of corporate censorship, usually on the basis of “family values” or Karl Popper’s paradox of tolerance; these people are all idiots. Censorship in any form is bad for society as a whole and corporate censorship is especially insidious because it only ever represents the views of the entrenched power and social elites.

Spotify recently spent $100 million to become the exclusive home of The Joe Rogan Experience, the most popular podcast in the history of the internet. Kind of sucks to be Adam Carolla, he was on top of the world until Rogan showed up with all the advantages he has over Carolla like being funny and not being borderline retarded.

It mostly blew over that when Spotify imported Rogan’s back-catalog to the platform they excluded several episodes with controversial guests like Alex Jones. I don’t normally listen to Rogan but I always tune in when he has Alex Jones on because Alex Jones is completely unhinged and it’s hilarious to listen to the stupid bullshit that comes out of his mouth. He’s basically one rung away from David Icke on the crazy ladder, and that dude thinks the British royal family are lizard people when in actuality they’re just racist.

But now reports are trickling out that a number of Spotify employees are very insistent that they want to censor new episodes of Rogan’s podcast when it becomes exclusive to Spotify’s platform later this year. According to Vice, Spotify has ten meetings about Rogan’s podcast, mostly about employees demanding Rogan’s podcast be censored and Digital Music News reported that Spotify employees want editorial control over Rogan’s podcast, essentially telling Rogan what he can say and what guests he can book. Employees reportedly want to “introduce direct editing oversight over The Joe Rogan Experience — before the episodes go live. That includes content flags, trigger warnings, references to fact-checked information, or simply refusing to publish an episode at all.”

The reason that Joe Rogan is so popular is that he’s free to speak his mind, unfiltered by corporate interests and network standards and practices. In Spotify’s press release announcing the acquisition of Rogan’s podcast exclusively on their platform, they even said that “While Spotify will become the exclusive distributor of JRE, Rogan will maintain full creative control over the show,” because they understood that no one likes standards and practices controlling shows.

A lot of chatter about censorship today casts those on the political left as the censors, mostly because of stories like this, a since the problem these people have with Rogan is things he’s said about trans people and jokes he’s made about Caitlyn Jenner. But historically network censorship has pushed a conservative agenda, keeping couples in separate beds and keeping gay characters and interracial couples off the air.

People in favor of censorship always just assume they will always be the ones censoring things, but that’s never the case. All you do is make it okay for big corporations to take creative control away from the people that audiences actually want to hear from. Luckily, in this case, Rogan probably thought to have retaining creative control of his show in his contract, which is why Spotify CEO Daniel Ek has pushed back against employees who want to censor Rogan; they shelled out a hundred million dollars because people want to listen to Joe Rogan, not to the opinions of the Spotify Spectrum Employee Relations Group.

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