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YouTuber Shane Dawson, Who Definitely Didn’t Fuck His Cat, Is Engaged

A few days ago, YouTuber Shane Dawson made the best tweet of all time. We don’t need Twitter anymore, because no one is ever going to top this. If you haven’t seen the tweet yet, you’re going to think I’m hyping it up to much but I assure you I am not.

Really it’s the (1/?) at the end that makes the tweet. It’s saying “I don’t know how many tweets it’s going to take me to publicly deny that I fucked my cat, so stay with me for this.” By the way, the best response to this is the “Sir, this is a McDonald’s drive-through” meme which I’m sure about a thousand people did on Twitter immediately after he made this tweet.

There were a couple of other really good replies, though.

That’s okay, but this is the best one. This is the master class.

If you’re wondering where this whole thing came from, Shane once made a joke about coming on his cat on a podcast. We’ve just raised a generation of morons who can’t parse comments to tell when someone is saying something gross just to be gross and assumed that Shane was 100% serious and that James Gunn is a pedophile because they weren’t on Twitter in the days of the manual retweet.

Anyway, Shane has put the whole cat-fucking thing behind him, even though he’s never going to live that shit down if he’s 90 years old and cures cancer. But I’m happy to announce Shane is now engaged to his long-time boyfriend, Mr. Beans. No, I’m kidding, his boyfriend is Ryland Adams and it’s really cute but do you see how he’s never going to live that down?

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Ryland, thank you for making the last 3 years the happiest time of my life. Thank you for sleeping next to me even though i sweat through the sheets. Thank you for making me smile and reminding me how loved I am in real life even when I’m being cancelled online. Thank you for letting me cover you in fake tattoos and wigs for videos and sometimes just for a fun saturday night. Thank you for loving me unconditionally and reminding me everyday that i should love myself too. I thank the universe everyday for bringing you into my life and I can’t wait to start a future with you and start every day thinking about how lucky I am. I love you more than i can ever even explain in words. -Shane ❤:,)

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See, it’s cute, they’re cute together.

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Olivia Jade Thinks Her Parents Ruined Her Life by Making Her Go to College, and She Has a Point

All Lori Loughlin and her husband Mossimo Giannulli wanted was to buy their idiot daughter’s way into one of the top colleges in the nation despite the fact that she already had a promising career as an Instagram thirst trap.

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Entertainment Tonight reported that Olivia is furious that her parents ruined her life by making her go to college in light of the bribery scandal that saw them arrested and her and her sister, who actually wanted to go to college, dropping out of USC.

The 19-year-old YouTube vlogger is “really angry with her parents because she told them she did not want to go to college and she was pushed,” the source says.

“She has been passionate about her career and wanted to work and was doing well but that wasn’t enough,” the source continues. “Her parents said she would have to juggle college and her career. Now she’s devastated because everything she built implode before her eyes.”

“She feels they ruined everything,” the source adds.

In a way, she’s not wrong. College wasn’t going to help her take sexy pictures for social media.

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can we go back now??? 🤷🏻‍♂️

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Just hanging out in a bra, as you do. Normal day.

But as I said, Olivia Jade has a point. Had her parents not made her go to college, she’d still have a career as an influencer. On the other hand, being an “influencer” is just the new term for the idiot children of the idle rich. If P.G. Wodehouse was alive today, Bertie Wooster would have 45 million followers on Instagram.

What’s really funny is that YouTuber Harlow Brooks went to high school with Olivia Jade and doesn’t understand how she managed to graduate because it was an incredibly demanding school and Olivia Jade was always jetting off and making YouTube videos.

The interesting thing is that she talks about how hard USC is to get into, and it is, but when I was applying to colleges USC wasn’t a top school at all. USC essentially bought their way into being a top school in the past 10-20 years, which makes it entirely unsurprising that it was the school with the highest number of students bribing their way in.

Anyway, I do feel bad for Olivia Jade. Instead of being a huge Instagram star who hangs out with the Kardashians she’s going to have to settle for being a rich trust fund kid who hangs out with the cast of Riverdale.

The post Olivia Jade Thinks Her Parents Ruined Her Life by Making Her Go to College, and She Has a Point appeared first on The Blemish.

R.I.P. 20th Century Fox, All Hail Disney, Owners of all Media

As of 12:02 a.m. today, 20th Century Fox is no more, it’s now just a part of Disney. To most of the public, this means that the X-Men and Fantastic Four are about to take over the Marvel Cinematic Universe and Deadpool gets a fun little hat.

Here’s what’s really going to happen: 4,000 people are going to lose their jobs and one company now controls basically all of entertainment. And that company wants people to think if it as being “family-friendly” and basically only makes PG or PG-13 films, something they doubled down on when they sold Miramax, although they refused to let Miramax release Fahrenheit 9/11 and Dogma when they did own them, so that’s the future of the studio that now owns half of all movies; they will not release anything edgy or controversial.

For the most part, anyway. Disney recently rehired James Gunn as the director of Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 3 and said they would continue making R-rated Deadpool movies, because given the choice between their family friendly image and making a guaranteed billion dollars, they would like the billion dollars please.

One thing to look for is an announcement in the coming days and weeks of the fate of Fox’s final X-Men film, The New Mutants. I would be shocked if this movie played in more than 6 theaters. It is a horror film with a lesbian couple in it, there is just no way Disney screens that. They have carefully cut any reference to characters not being 100% heterosexual from every Marvel movie that directors have included them in, and I’m pretty sure the only gay characters in any Marvel TV or film property is in Runaways, which they’ve basically buried on Hulu with no promotion. I saw more commercials for Cloak and Dagger. Fox actually has 12 movies scheduled to come out this year, and Disney may pull some or all of them, like the R-Rated Kingsman sequel scheduled for November.

By the way, this merger creating the largest media conglomerate in the history of the world, was basically only done so Disney could launch a streaming service with enough content to rival Netflix. The fact that Fox was squatting on the film rights to properties Disney really wanted was just sweetening the deal, they could have bought those back for way less than $70 billion.

Streaming is really a battle for the future of entertainment right now, everything revolves around streaming. There is no one on the planet who thinks that cable television works better than Netflix, aside from not asking you if you’re still watching every twenty minutes. $13 a month to just watch what you want, when you want with no commercials is much better than $200 a month to watch only what’s on and 1/3 of it is commercials. But it’s also a much more limited space, people aren’t going to pay for five or ten streaming services, most of them are going to get choked out of the market. I’m looking at you CBS All Access and DC Universe. No one loves you. Warner Brothers is actually trying to launch a second streaming service on top of DC Universe. So Disney wants to come out strong with Disney+, so much so that they’re ending the “Disney Vault” to put all their movies on it (aside from Song of the South, I’m sure) and they bought an entire other movie and TV studio to make it work.

So when there’s six corporations left and they’ve replaced governments, remember that it all started because Bob Iger didn’t think Darkwing Duck could compete with Netflix.

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Warner CEO Out After Pulling a Reverse Weinstein, Giving Terrible Actress Roles in Blockbuster Films Because She Slept With Him

Remember all those stories about how Harvey Weinstein got actresses blacklisted because they wouldn’t suck his dick or watch him jerk off into a plant? Kevin Tsujihara, the (now former) chairman and CEO of Warner Bros. went the other way with it and got movie roles for Charlotte Kirk because she was sleeping with him.

The Hollywood Reporter broke the story of the sex-for-roles scheme earlier this month.

According to the text messages, Tsujihara said he would arrange for Kirk to meet with studio executives on Warner Bros. film and TV projects, a highly unorthodox effort for the chairman of a studio. On March 3, 2015, a frustrated Kirk texted him to say, “You’re very busy I know but when we were in that motel having sex u said u would help me and when u just ignore me like you’re doing now it makes me feel used. Are u going to help me like u said u would?” Tsujihara responded: “Sorry you feel that way. Richard will be reaching out to u tonight.” Other texts make clear that the reference was to Richard Brener, then president of production at Warners’ New Line label. (There was no indication that Brener was aware of any relationship between Kirk and Tsujihara. Brener, through a WarnerMedia rep, declined to comment.)

I love this so much. Brett Ratner is the one who set them up, by the way. But I love that she felt used because the guy she was sleeping with wasn’t getting her enough movie roles, not because he was trading sex for film roles.

It gets better when you read the statement that Warner gave THR about Tsujihara’s resignation.

Stankey added, “Kevin has contributed greatly to the studio’s success over the past 25 years and for that we thank him. Kevin acknowledges that his mistakes are inconsistent with the Company’s leadership expectations and could impact the Company’s ability to execute going forward.”


There’s an important lesson to be learned here. If you’re going to promise someone movie roles in exchange for sleeping with you, make sure they have some talent. It’s hard to get serious acting roles for someone who lacks the acting talent of those women who realized they don’t have their purses halfway through their taxi ride. Seriously, she slept with two rich dudes with connections at Warner and all she got was a bit part in Ocean’s 8. She really needs to set her sights on being a model, it’s like being an actress without all that pesky acting and you get to sleep with a much higher class of rich men twice your age.

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Cory in the Big House? Former Disney Star Kyle Massey Being Sued for Allegedly Trying to Sleep With a 13-Year-Old Fan

Don’t expect Kyle Massey to be guest-starring on the That’s So Raven reboot anytime soon. What’s it called again? That’s Even More Raven? Two Scoops of Ravens? Raven Meets World? Let’s just be glad that spin-off Cory in the House got wrapped up before the titular Cory got caught up in a lawsuit alleging the 27-year-old actor tried to seduce a 13-year-old he met when she was four. Page Six reported the details of the lawsuit.

The complaint is for intentional infliction of emotional distress, harmful matter sent with intention of seducing a minor, attempting to commit a lewd act with a minor, and annoying or molesting a minor.

“Annoying” and “molesting” a minor seem very different. I don’t know what legally qualifies as “annoying” someone, but I feel like holding your finger an inch away from someone’s face and going “Not touching, can’t get mad” should be a different statute than sticking that finger in the person’s butt is all I’m saying.

The girl, who was not named due to her age, says she met Massey, now 27, when she was 4 years old. Because she was interested in a career in entertainment, the pair kept in touch and Massey became close with her family. Massey even indicated the girl should come out from Seattle, Wash. and live with himself and his girlfriend in Los Angeles.

She was interested in a career in entertainment, hunh? When I was four I wanted to be Luke Skywalker, but I don’t think my parents would have let me go live with Yoda and Mrs. Yoda. There was a Mrs. Yoda, right? That other Yoda looking thing in The Phantom Menace? I didn’t dream that, did I?

The girl and her mother say Massey “held himself out as a father figure” to her, and their contact increased in November 2018 when the girl indicated she was interested in a role on a rebooted version of “Raven” spinoff “Cory in the House.” About a month later, Massey allegedly requested to be the girl’s friend on Snapchat, and shortly after sent her “numerous sexually explicit text messages, images, and videos.”

This is where things get dicey. We could find out Massey was sending this girl dick pics, but we could also find out he was sending her Twitter memes and someone is suing him for $1.5 million over a picture of Dick Butt. So I’m going to withhold judgement on this one until we know more. But don’t hang out with 4-year-olds, it’s weird and Michael Jacksoney.

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Bella Thorne Showed Off Her Ass in a Bikini to Remind You She’s Still Alive

Bless our little Bella Thorne. No idea what she’s got lined up now that Famous In Love is cancelled. One thing she IS doing is showing off her ass and tits. Because that’s what young starlets do in Hollywood. And yes, I did just use “starlet,” like I’m from the 1940s.

Someone give me some good Thorne rumors. Like that she’s on meth, that would be a good rumor.

Thorne recently broke up with YouTuber Tana Mongeau. Mongeau, meanwhile, is still dating Instagrammer Brad Sousa. Guess Tana got tired of burying her face in Thorne’s hairy armpits. Here are the two in happier times.

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haters thought we wouldn't do a 3 way costume 👻😉

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3 way couples costume 😍😍😍

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Meanwhile, Thorne and Mod Sun are still going strong. Never thought that would last this long. Both showed up at the red carpet for clothing company MCM. If you’re into design, you’ll love this next part.

The duo wore matching bright blue jackets ($875 for hers and $1,890 for his) covered in the brand’s logo. Mod Sun paired his look with ripped white jeans and accessorized with a blue bandana and an oversized fanny pack ($625), while Thorne opted for silky shorts, a white visor ($245) and lime green heels.

*makes wanking motion* Awesome, it’s all about jeans and a sweatshirt for me. Wonder how stained these clothes were after their night together.

Anyway, since you made it this far, creep on Bella’s boobs.

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Who wants to be my girlfriend?

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Paris Jackson Attempted Suicide by Slitting Her Wrists

Sad news on the Paris Jackson front. Jackson allegedly attempted suicide because Michael Jackson was supposedly a pedophile and Leaving Neverland is making sure people know. The pressure got to Jackson. That’s what TMZ says.

Law enforcement sources tell us police and EMS responded to Paris’ LA home at 7:30 AM. We’re told Michael Jackson’s only daughter slit her wrists. Our sources say she was transported to a hospital and placed on 5150 hold. She’s currently in stable condition.

Sources with knowledge tell us Paris did this in direct response to the allegations made against her father in “Leaving Neverland” — a documentary in which Wade Robson and James Safechuck accuse MJ of molesting them as children.

Since Michael Jackson isn’t here to defend himself, now it’s left to Paris and Blanket Jackson to confront the media, the “fans”, the online hate. Too bad Michael’s worst crime wasn’t bribing a random college crew coach to get her into college.

Leaving Neverland is the recently released HBO special where two Jackson victims, Wade Robson and James Safechuck, tell their stories.  Both say they were molested by Michael Jackson. I haven’t seen the documentary yet, but ran across a description of one scene. Robson retells a story of abuse by Michael:

…he [Wade Robson] was 7 when Michael began abusing him, describing a grim scenario in which he was naked on all fours at the edge of the bed, poised — trapped — between his idol, who was masturbating to him, and a cutout of Peter Pan…

People make jokes about their parents having sex, imagine dealing with something like this.

So if your father was one of the greatest performers of all-time, put on a pedestal by millions, yet there were all these rumors of child molestation and people attacked and mocked you because of it, and you’re not even 21 yet, would you want to kill yourself? Let’s just say, it’s totally understandable. She doesn’t deserve it.

Let’s all agree to go back and pick on YouTubers and spoiled college kids instead, shall we?

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Hallmark Fires Lori Loughlin as Her Daughters Both Drop Out of USC

It has just not been a good week for Lori Loughlin. Her cunning plan of paying half a million dollars to have her daughters put on a fake crew team to sneak them into USC got her arrested and her daughter was on a trustee’s yacht when it happened. Now Hallmark has fired her and her daughters both dropped out of USC, so not only could she end up going to jail, she also spent all that bribe money for nothing.’

Hallmark’s parent company Crown Media Family Networks gave this statement to USA Today:

“We are saddened by the recent news surrounding the college admissions allegations. We are no longer working with Lori Loughlin and have stopped development of all productions that air on the Crown Media Family Network channels involving Lori Loughlin including Garage Sale Mysteries, an independent third party production,” Crown Media Family Networks said in a statement sent to USA TODAY.

Honestly, it seems unnecessary to me unless they really thought it was going impact ratings. And I honestly doubt it would. We’re all going to have a good laugh about how these rich idiots got busted trying to save a few dollars on their bribes but at the end of the day I don’t think anyone really cares. If Loughlin had spent $5 million on a statue of USC founder Jim USC to get her idiot kids enrolled instead of the paltry $500,000 bribing the rowing coach we wouldn’t be having this conversation.

And TMZ is reporting she’s going to be dropped from Fuller House as well.

7:50 PM PT – Our intel is clear — Lori’s not coming back to “Fuller House.” A well-placed production source tells TMZ, “Fuller House is not currently in production.  Lori is a guest star and was during the previous 4 seasons and there are currently no plans for her to return to the 5th season.”  Translation … she’s gone from the show.

TMZ also reported that her daughters both dropped out of USC to avoid being “viciously bullied.” Also that this whole thing basically worked out for them because they never wanted to go to college anyway, unless they could just go to a party school.

We’re told Olivia and Isabella never really wanted to go to USC. Our sources say they liked the concept of school principally because of partying, and had their sights set on Arizona State University. That’s why Mossimo sent an email saying he wanted to get his daughters “into a school other than ASU!”

If you had just let them go to ASU you’d still be Aunt Becky and not “that rich bitch in C-block.” Why did they need to go to USC anyway? They’re just going to live off of trust funds, why do you care?

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Lori Loughlin’s Daughter Was Parting on a USC Trustee’s Yacht When Her Mom Was Busted by the Feds

Two days ago Olivia Jade Giannulli was living a pretty charmed life. She was attending USC, partying in the Bahamas on the yacht of a member of the board of trustees and building a brand as a social media influencer. Then the whole world found out she was too dumb and untalented to get into college on her own so her parents turned her into a fake rowing champion to get her fake recruited by the USC crew team and she’s basically become the poster girl for white privilege.

Here’s what TMZ said she was doing when the news broke.

We’ve learned 19-year-old Olivia was on Rick Caruso’s yacht in the Bahamas. Caruso’s daughter, Gianna, Olivia and several other friends were spending spring break in the area.

Gianna and Olivia have been friends for quite some time, occasionally posting photos of them together on social media.

Caruso, a billionaire who has major real estate holdings including The Grove in L.A., tells TMZ, “My daughter and a group of students left for spring break prior to the government’s announcement yesterday. Once we became aware of the investigation, the young woman decided it would be in her best interests to return home.” Olivia is off the yacht.

It’s good to have members of the crew team on your yacht in case something goes wrong, I guess. She is a world-class coxswain according to her application. Oh, right.

While all that was going on, this video surfaced from last year of Olivia Jade talking about going to college and saying she doesn’t know how much she’s going to go and that she doesn’t really care about school.

Awesome. I’d like to say this is going to end her career as an influencer, but if being a vapid, spoiled white person was disqualifying, there wouldn’t be any social media influencers to begin with.

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How William H. Macy Barely Avoided Getting Busted in College Bribery Sting

Yesterday was a big day for fans of rich white people being perp-walked. A whole bunch of CEOs and various rich people, along with actresses Felicity Huffman and Lori Loughlin (and Loughlin’s husband), were arrested for a number of schemes to cheat their kids into the kinds of good colleges their idiot kids couldn’t actually get into.

Not on the list of people indicted in sting, however, was Huffman’s husband, Shameless star William H. Macy. We found out today how he avoided getting busted, and it was mostly down to Macy being really lucky. Here’s what Page Six said about he evidence against the couple.

Both Macy and Huffman allegedly made a $15,000 “purported charitable contribution” to Singer’s crooked charity on Feb.27, 2018, in exchange for his help boosting Sofia’s SAT score.
But while court papers detail a series of emails between Huffman and Singer in connection with that test, the feds don’t claim to have any similar evidence against Macy.

So that’s part of it. Huffman did all the e-mailing and talking during the scheme. There’s no evidence Macy knew about it at the time, and he and Huffman can’t be forced to testify against each other because they’re married.

Here’s how Macy just plain got lucky, though: there’s plenty of evidence of Macy being involved in a similar scheme involving his younger daughter Georgia. But he and Huffman, for whatever reason, decided not to go through with the scam at that time.

Court papers unsealed Tuesday say Macy and Huffman were both secretly recorded during a Dec. 12 phone call with William Rick Singer, the alleged mastermind of the $25 million scam.

At one point in the call, Singer asked if the couple planned to “do this similarly as we did with” older daughter Sofia Grace Macy, a year earlier.

“Yes, I think we are,” Macy allegedly responded.

Basically, if Huffman and Macy would have gone through with the second scam, they’d have both been busted. But Macy didn’t commit the crime he was caught planning, so he managed to walk. But now I really need to know if Georgia is smarter than her sister Sofia and didn’t need the help or if they just don’t like her as much.

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Lori Loughlin’s Daughter, Olivia Jade’s, KOL Rates are About to Drop

Who is Oliva Jade Giannulli? If you bothered to read the title, you’d realize she’s Lori Loughlin’s daughter. As you probably know by now, Lori Loughlin and her husband paid a $500,000 bribe to the recruiter of the USC rowing team so their two daughters could get into the school. Neither of them actually rowed so they had to photoshop themselves into actual rowing teams.

What you may not know is that even before Olivia Jade was “accepted” into USC, she was an “influencer” on YouTube and Instagram with over 4 million combined followers. What may also shock you is that school was never a priority for Olivia Jade. It probably still isn’t. Back in August, Olivia flat out said the only reason she’s going to college is to party.

“I don’t know how much of school I’m gonna attend,” she shared with her nearly 2 million subscribers, after explaining her extensive work schedule. “But I’m gonna go in and talk to my deans and everyone, and hope that I can try and balance it all. But I do want the experience of like game days, partying…I don’t really care about school, as you guys all know.”

This is ironic considering in docs filed, her mom paid half a million just so she wouldn’t end up at Arizona State University, a real party school. She must have been pissed.

She apologized days later because brand management.

“I said something super ignorant and stupid, basically. And it totally came across that I’m ungrateful for college — I’m going to a really nice school. And it just kind of made it seem like I don’t care, I just want to brush it off. I’m just gonna be successful at YouTube and not have to worry about school,” Olivia said in the video. “I’m really disappointed in myself.”

Wait, was that an apology? That still sort of sounded like school is secondary to being a YouTuber. God, she’s insufferable.

This pretty much blew over and Jade ended up starting her first semester at USC. Between August and today, she built her brand by producing relatable content for college kids which has been partly sponsored by Amazon. She reached the point where she is now considered a beauty vlogger which includes collaborations with Sephora.

But now that everyone knows mommy bought her way into one of the best and most expensive colleges in the country, it remains to be seen what’s going to happen to her brand. Are her followers going to relate to a rich, white, 18-year-old girl with all the privilege in the world and who’s parents bought her way into a prestigious college? Sadly, probably. Kids are idiots.

But at least we get to shit on her now by bringing up quotes from old videos. Like the one above where she brought on John Stamos who told her, “Can I just say how proud I am of you? You’re such a good girl, you have good values, and you project good morals.” You should feel bad, Olivia Jade.

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Felicity Huffman and Lori Loughlin Arrested in College Admissions Bribery Sting

Today has not been a great day for rich white ladies trying to bend the rules to their favor. Felicity Huffman and Lori Loughlin were both caught in a college admissions bribery scheme that is off the rails insane and could land them in prison for a long time. It won’t, neither is likely to spend a single day in prison, but they could potentially face years.

Both actresses actions were a little different, so let me go over what happened. Let’s start with Huffman (and William H. Macy, who is mentioned but unindicted). What Felicity Huffman did was pay $15,000 to a fake charity in exchange for helping her daughter cheat on the SAT. They sent the girl to an SAT proctor who was in on the scheme, got her extra time with a fake disability, fed her answers and corrected wrong answers on her test after she handed it it in. Her score went up 400 points from the PSATs. It’s kind of boring, honestly, just run of the mill cheating.

Luckily, Lori Loughlin’s story is much more interesting. She and her husband Mossimo Giannulli, who was also arrested, paid half a million dollars to have their two daughters recruited by the USC crew team. That’s rowing. She pretended to be a coxswain, which is a real thing. They even staged photos of them on rowing machines to show the admissions board.

This was apparently pretty common, faking admissions on the basis of joining some team in a sport no one has ever heard of like crew or lacrosse or soccer.

In case you were worried, though, the Department of Justice wants to make sure you know that this is different from donating a building to a college, that’s still perfectly legal.

By the way, that’s how Jared Kushner, President Trump’s son-in-law, got into Harvard; his dad donated $2.5 million to the school. This is entirely legal, by the way. So if you want to bribe your kid’s way into the Ivies, make sure you’re writing the bribe directly to the school; bribing an intermediary to cheat is still illegal. College admissions are tricky like that.

Coxswain. Still funny.

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It Looks Like We All Owe Johnny Depp an Apology

The more information we get about Johnny Depp and Amber Heard, the more it sounds like we all owe Johnny Depp an apology. It’s always hard to say anything definitive, but it’s looking much more like Johnny Depp was the victim of domestic abuse and Heard was the abuser, which fits with the fact that she was arrested for domestic abuse in a previous relationship and he’s never been accused of abuse by any partner other than Heard.

Here’s our basic timeline of events; Amber Heard was arrested for domestic abuse against Tasya van Ree, then she married Johnny Depp, then she took a shit in his bed, then she accused him of domestic violence during their divorce during which she asked for $50k a month alimony and sold photos allegedly showing her having been abused to People.

So why is this suddenly back in the news? Well, The Blast published a photo of Johnny Depp with a black eye, allegedly given to him by Heard.

And now that Twitter has caught wind of it, well, the people who cancelled him now have canceller’s remorse.

I’m not entirely sure Depp is entirely innocent here, he did take a swing at that location scout. But like I said before, if a human being takes a shit in your bed and all you do is throw your phone at them, that’s you showing an incredible amount of restraint.

But really, we all should have at least been wary of making the face of domestic violence victims someone with a documented history of committing domestic abuse.

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Cyborg Senator Mitt Romney Blows out Birthday Candles Like a Lizard Person

Mitt Romney is a weird dude. I’m not just talking about the magic underwear and giving his kids names like “Tag” and “Sport” and “Dong”; he has this whole aww-shucks act going on that’s perfectly exemplified in this video of him blowing out birthday candles.

See, listen to that. “Oh my goodness,” “Look at that, holy cow.” he throws in a dad joke, going “What are you guys going to have?” It’s cute, and then… what the damn hell? He pulls off the candles one at a time and blows them out away from the cake. What kind of person does that?

This did not go unnoticed by Twitter.

This is 100%, true, by the way, Mitt Romney ironed his clothes after putting them on in a documentary about his run for the White House.

Some people have pointed out this is more hygienic, but that doesn’t make it acceptable.

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It Turns Out That Living Next to Emily Ratajkowski Kind of Sucks

You’d think being Emily Ratajkowski’s neighbor would be a good thing. you’d see her around the building, maybe she does that things where she goes to get the paper in her robe but gets locked out and her robe gets stuck in the door and pulls off of her when she goes to get help. That can’t only happen in sitcoms, right?

Look, it clearly happens to her every time she goes shopping.

But alas, Page Six is reporting it’s not great to live next to Emrata. Not only is she not paying rent, but it turns out her and her husband have no regard for the other people in their building.

“Can you turn music off, trying to sleep, it’s 4:30 for Christ sake,” ticked-off Ghosh texted Bear-McClard on Dec. 14, 2015, according to a Manhattan Supreme Court filing. When Bear-McClard responded, “Not home sorry,” Ghosh asks the producer tell his friends “not to crank music that late … the walls act like speakers and my bedroom is on the other side. As it is I can hear voices.”

Man, not even home, just using your stereo to piss off your neighbors. The ones who you’re subletting your apartment from and have stopped paying rent to.

In October 2016, a fed-up Ghosh texted: “Hey, can you turn it down, 4 am and you woke me and my daughter up. I can’t have late parties here, otherwise it [the space] has to become completely commercial with no residential,” he alleges.

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Bye 2018

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So not great to live next to, and will stiff you on the rent if she can.

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Weekend Dreamz ✨

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Raquel Welch, One Million BC. @livincool

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Still… I can imagine worse.

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Want to Date Bella Thorne? Here’s What She’s Looking For

Bella Thorne is single-ish after breaking up with girlfriend Tana Mongeau (she’s still in a relationship with Mod Sun), so if you’ve been looking to date the actress, now’s the time to take your shot. Try saying something really creepy on her Instagram comments, maybe about her feet, women must love that, or why else would so many dudes do it?

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Who wants to be my girlfriend?

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Hollywoodlife talked to someone close to Bella who told them exactly what she’s looking for.

“She doesn’t even know herself,” a source close to Bella EXCLUSIVELY told HollywoodLife. “She might want to date another guy instead when it comes to her next relationship. She is all about a good time and nothing very serious. That’s not to say she wouldn’t deem her next relationship as important but she is not seeking wedding bells anytime soon. Bella is a free spirit and wants to share her time with people who are just like her. Someone she can go to Coachella with and not worry about, that is her main thoughts on who she will date next. She’s 21 and wants to be young, have fun and make decisions as they come, leave the seriousness to other people. She can’t be bothered by that nonsense. She would rather take it as it comes. That is what makes her most relaxed.”

That is very non-specific. That could describe almost anyone.

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This was taken at the end of 2016?-2017? 2018 was about getting my health back…this is what I look like when I’m stressed…. when im stressed it’s hard for me to work up an appetite..I’m all about being yourself loving your body yada yada but these photos they make me not love anything about it. Looking back on these times and what this biz, and movies and life can do to you and everything along with that. But you know I look at this picture and I’m also proud. I’m so fucking proud because this year I gained all my weight back and more !!!! And I feel good but I do feel like I need to get back in the gym so I can be healthier in general. Eating the right things (double quarter pounders not included) so my body has the energy it needs to keep moving forward.. keep moving forward.

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Also, is there anyone on any dating app who doesn’t call themselves a “free spirit?” It just means you can’t hold down a normal job. I know, I put it on the resume that go me this job.

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Iza pink world I’m just living in it 😍💰

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Bizarre Cameos Promised in Rob Zombie’s ‘3 From Hell’

According to Rob Zombie, fans of his overly gory movies can expect to be treated to brief appearances by the likes of Chaz Bono, former daughter turned son of the much beloved Cher and the late Sonny Bono, in Zombie’s latest f-word fest, Three From Hell. It’s the the final film in the House of 1000 Corpses/Devil’s Rejects trilogy.

“Recognize this man? It’s Chaz Bono. One of the many bizarre cameos in THREE FROM HELL,” wrote Zombie on Instagram, where he posted a recent movie still of Bono.

Chaz likewise shared the same pic on her Instagram, along with:

“So excited to announce that I have a cameo in @robzombieofficial new film, Three From Hell. If you’re familiar with my work, then you can probably understand how much I’ve wanted work with Rob. As a fan, I can’t wait to see this film!”

I can’t wait to see it either, but not because of Chaz Bono’s appearance. I’m ready to watch Otis Driftwood, Captain Spaulding – probably the two funniest characters ever seen in horror movies – and Baby Firefly drop f-word bombs as they go about their murderous doings.

The movie isn’t close to being complete, however. I guess Zombie got tied up in the editing process, which can be a long, drawn-out process guaranteed to give you migraines and hemorrhoids, or else he’s making Sheri Moon Zombie re-do all of her scenes. Let’s face it, folks – that chick certainly is no actress. However, Bill Moseley and Sid Haig will both more than make up for Sheri Moon’s lackluster thespian skills.

Back in January, Zombie clarified 3 From Hell isn’t close to completion.

“So folks seem confused by my post saying I completed my Rejects trilogy. I said the trilogy is complete but the movie 3 From Hell is not finished yet. Still got a couple months of work left. It’s getting there and it is fucking awesome.”

In addition to Bono, Clint Howard and Danny Trejo will also make appearances in the film. I’m not sure about Howard, but Trejo’s character will definitely be a treat to watch – that pockmarked actor/donut maker is one damn funny guy.

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Redesigning TripAdvisor for Problematic Rape Reviews

A little backstory. Two women have complained about being raped by staff from companies promoted on TripAdvisor. For those who don’t know, TripAdvisor is the go to site for people who realize they’ve yet to plan their vacation even though it’s a week away. This is the site people use to find out what is the most touristy thing to do in a foreign country. It usually contains a helpful ranking of sights to see and things to do in order of most annoyingly crowded to why is this even on here?

Anyway, back to the two women who were sexually assaulted. In emails shown to The Guardian, one of the woman, identified only as “K”, contacted TripAdvisor to let them know one of their tour guides is a rapist. This was after K told the hotel and filed a police report.

Instead of removing the business or issuing a warning on the page, TripAdvisor, in all their corporate wisdom, suggested she leave a review detailing the assault. Oh, and if she could do it in the first-person it would be better. TripAdvisor does not allow third-person rape reviews. TripAdvisor even sent her 5 helpful examples of other rape reviews she could use as a template. I imagine these were the creme de la creme of TripAdvisor rape reviews with multiple thumbs ups.

The Guardian went on to uncover another 40 examples of reviews describing sexual assault, rape and groping. A spokesperson for TripAdvisor said it is a “horrible tragedy when someone experiences a safety issue like a sexual or physical assault. TripAdvisor exists as an informational review platform for travelers to post their experiences, including incidents of traveler safety. Having a business listing on our platform isn’t an endorsement of that business.” They went on to explain that they’ve left these businesses up so others can read the rape reviews and choose to avoid it.

Of course, one problem is these rape reviews are unable to be discovered as most of the time they’re buried underneath reviews like “Great service” and “The tap water wasn’t Evian.”

Because of this, I’ve taken it upon myself to provide a few product ideas that may solve the problems of both the victims and TripAdvisor.

Filter reviews by rape

This is a no-brainer. One of the major concerns of women who browse TripAdvisor is whether or not they will be sexually assaulted if they go here. Not only will this help women quickly identify problematic destinations, but it’ll also alert them to what kind of sexual assault takes place there. Is it something like groping or more serious like premeditated rape? This filter will help you find out!

Sort businesses by least chance of being raped in

This is for those who don’t have time to read individual reviews but just want to know of places where they’re least likely to be raped in. They can then plan accordingly.

Best rape review of the month

If TripAdvisor must have their users relive their personal hell by writing a detailed account of how they were raped in an establishment promoted on the page just so they can warn others, then they might as well give recognition for the best story.

Discounts for rapey businesses

Finally, it’s not just about the users, but also the businesses. Is this business known for their sexual assaults? User studies have shown many people avoid places like these so they’re going to need some help boosting their revenue. Why not provide discounts to attract more customers? This is a win-win.

If you’re reading this TripAdvisor, feel free to implement any of these features. You don’t even have to give me credit.

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Halle Berry Just Got a Giant Back Tattoo, Is Absolutely Not Having a Midlife Crisis

Halle Berry is 52, and you might think that’s too old to get a tattoo that covers your entire spine. If you think that, you’d be right. Wilford Brimley was 51 when he was in Cocoon, the movie about the old people having sex with aliens. I think that’s what it was about, anyway,  I only saw it on TBS back before Netflix was a thing and I wasn’t paying attention.

Anyway, I’m sure Halle Berry is absolutely not having a midlife crisis, this is a perfectly normal thing to do.

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Who says I’m not a mermaid 🧜‍♀️

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I’m not a huge fan of tattoos, personally, so my opinion might be biased; I’m sure Halle Berry wasn’t all that concerned with how I felt about her tattoo before she got it, and why should she be? Still, this just seems a little sad to me. Not as sad as the guy in the replies to this particular Instagram post, though. Let’s have a look:

Absolutely delicious.. yummy yummy

Yeah, okay, that’s a normal thing to say to a famous person on Instagram.

sweet beautiful #Jesus hot chocolate bunny just love the new signature new look the new beauty mark is perfect illustrated down your spine it makes wonder just convince you to go along with it with a special ingredient it’s not the only thing smoking hot over the oven if you know what I mean

Wow, I don’t even know where to begin here. I can’t understand it and I’m pretty sure calling a black woman “chocolate bunny” is racist. It seems like it would be. Although JD did call Turk “chocolate bear” on Scrubs, so I don’t know for sure.

what a beautiful image to start the day…tat looks awesome….best looking chef on twitter

You’re on Instagram, dude.

Halle, you are arguably the most beautiful woman in the world. Your beauty is infinite!

“Arguably.” This dude doesn’t want this to come back to haunt him in case he gets a shit at a different movie star, so he’s hedging.

If I could get LOOSE IN THAT KITCHEN, I would cook for two weeks….non stop!! Hey there, beautiful

In a way, I respect the horny social media reply people. Maybe it’s going to turn out that Halle Berry really likes to fuck random guys who tell her how hot she is on Instagram. Then I’m going to look like an idiot for making fun of these people.

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Kylie Jenner is the Youngest Self-Made Billionaire, Unless Words Have Meaning

Forbes has declared Kylie Jenner the youngest self-made billionaire ever, because to Forbes, being the daughter of an Olympic gold medalist and the ex-wife of a high-powered LA attorney while appearing on the TV show your sister got for blowing a rapper doesn’t give you any sort of leg up in life.

The beauty of Kylie Cosmetics, which Jenner started in 2015, is its minuscule overhead—and the outsize profits that go straight into Jenner’s pocket. Her empire consists of just seven full-time and five part-time employees. Manufacturing and packaging is outsourced to Seed Beauty, a private-label producer in nearby Oxnard, California. Sales and fulfillment are handled by online merchant Shopify. Her shrewd mother, Kris, takes care of finance and PR in exchange for the 10% management fee she siphons from all of her kids. Marketing is done mostly through social media, where Jenner has a massive following. She announces product launches, previews new items and announces the Kylie Cosmetics shades she’s wearing directly to the 175 million-plus who follow her across Snapchat, Instagram, Facebook and Twitter.

I don’t want to make it to obvious that I’m going to vote for Bernie Sanders here, but Kylie Jenner is a billionaire because she puts her name on make-up. Seed Cosmetics does more than just “manufacturing and packaging,” of course. It does everything and makes it seem like Kylie is behind it. They do the same for Kim Kardashian’s KKW line.

Now, my partner has assured me that Kylie’s makeup is really good, and she owns roughly an entire fuckload of it. But it isn’t made by Kylie, it’s made by Seed Cosmetics, who were making things like that liquid lipstick before Kylie Jenner was even on the scene.

“It’s the power of social media,” Jenner says. “I had such a strong reach before I was able to start anything.”

That’s the power of having a TV show on E! channel. Do you think she has 128 million instagram followers because she’s insightful or even because she’s hot? I mean, sure, she’s hot, but there are way hotter women with way fewer Instagram followers. As for insightful, well…

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Take that little egg

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Hey, remember when Kylie was cancelled for “cultural appropriation?” Weird how that doesn’t stick when you’re already rich.

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You Know That ‘Beverly Hills 90210’ Reboot? Yea, Luke Perry Died, Not Gonna Happen

Luke Perry is dead. There is no god.

Perry, 52, suffered a massive stroke last week at his Sherman Oaks home. Medics transported him to a nearby hospital. Since then, there hasn’t been much word about what happened.

We still don’t know the details, but that stroke was too powerful for Dylan. Boo.

He beat back colon cancer in 2015, but wasn’t so fortunate this time around.

Perry is known as Archie’s dad, Fred Andrews, on Riverdale, but as Shannon Doherty said when she heard the news of Dylan’s stroke, “It’s Luke, and he’s my Dylan.” He’ll always be Dylan to us.

Perry starred as the heartthrob Dylan on the original Beverly Hills 90210. There was talk of a revival, but unless they get Luke Perry the Hologram to star, it ain’t happening.

His rep gave a statement confirming Perry’s death:

Actor Luke Perry, 52, passed away today after suffering a massive stroke. He was surrounded by his children Jack and Sophie, fiancé Wendy Madison Bauer, ex-wife Minnie Sharp, mother Ann Bennett, step-father Steve Bennett, brother Tom Perry, sister Amy Coder, and other close family and friends. The family appreciates the outpouring of support and prayers that have been extended to Luke from around the world, and respectfully request privacy in this time of great mourning.  No further details will be released at this time.

I’m sure the 90210 cast is heartbroken, especially Tori Spelling, who can forget about any 90210 reboot money saving her from bankruptcy.

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Martha Stewart Sells Pot Now

I kind of love Martha Stewart, or MaStew as they called her in the joint. Even though her show seems like it’s about everything being perfect and no stitch being out of place, she’s actually pretty cool. She’s always going on Conan to do cooking segments where he does his best to piss her off and she does a cooking show with Snoop Dogg. She’s also kind of sexy. Is that last one just me? It can’t just be me.

She’s expanding her homemaking empire into weed, possibly because that Broadus guy is a bad influence. Via the AP.

The domestic diva who brought us hemp yarn is now partnering with Canada’s Canopy Growth Corp. to develop new products containing CBD, a compound derived from hemp and marijuana that doesn’t cause a high.

First to come, she said, will be a “sensible product for pets.” Neither Stewart nor Canopy Growth is saying if that would be a dog or cat treat, an infused pet food or some other product. They also aren’t saying when and where the products will go on sale, partly because they still face regulatory hurdles. Even Canada, which legalized marijuana last year, is still working out the rules for CBD-infusion in foods.

Marijuana is wonderful and everyone should do it but a lot of these CBD-laced products are pretty close to snake oil. Cannabis does have some proven health benefits, mainly that it gets you high, but  you don’t need to be giving your pets this stuff. At best it probably does nothing.

The global market for legal and illegal cannabis is estimated at $150 billion today, according to Euromonitor; by 2025, it estimates the legal market alone will be worth $166 billion.

That brings me to another point here. We should probably start letting all the 16-year-old black kids who got thrown in jail for 20 years for having an ounce of weed out if we’re going to have rich old white ladies getting richer on legal weed. That’s just common courtesy.

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Bionic Model Rebekah Marine Paster Said Yes to the Dress

Modelling is becoming more diverse, and that’s a good thing because if it wasn’t, we wouldn’t have Rebekah Marine Paster, a badass runway model with a bionic arm.

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Coffee coffee coffee ☕

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She also does the thing every single one of us would do if we had a robot arm, pretend to be Luke Skywalker.

You know, in one of the good Star Wars movies, not The Last Jedi where he was just grumpy and sucking on alien tits.

According to People, Rebekah is going to be on an upcoming episode of Say Yes to the Dress, which she did, because now she’s married and having a baby.

“I remember thinking about being at the altar and people taking pictures and my arm being in those pictures,” Marine tells PEOPLE. “I would cry all the time thinking, ‘I don’t want to do that. I don’t want to get married.’ “

Aww, that’s kind of sad. This prosthetic technology has come so fast that someone her age (she’s 32) couldn’t even conceive of it being so advanced when they were children. She’s like a living Rob Liefeld drawing, only with feet and fewer pouches.

She did get married, by the way. And she looked beautiful.

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throwback with @sleeperawakephoto

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That last swimsuit is just adorable.

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9021-Oh No! Luke Perry Suffers Massive Stroke

Bad news for 90210 fans everywhere. Luke Perry suffered a massive stroke today. TMZ reports emergency services were called to his Sherman Oaks home. They then took him to a nearby hospital because he had a huge stroke. No details yet what caused it.

The 52-year-old Perry is known as Fred Andrews, Archie’s Dad, on Riverdale. His biggest claim to fame though was being part of the teen series Beverly Hills 90210 back in the 1990’s.

90210 recently was in talks to reboot, but Perry’s stroke has something to say about that. The entire 90210 cast was filmed in December grabbing coffee and meeting with writers, producers and reps for Amazon, Hulu and Netflix.

How will they reboot 90210 without Luke Perry? Perhaps they could actually write his stroke into the storyline. That first episode will do massive ratings.

They even wanted to remake about the remaking of 90210.

This is bad news for Tori Spelling also. She and husband Dean McDermott are always one late credit card payment away from bankruptcy it seems. They recently met up with their bank over a $205,000 debt. I bet $180,000 of that was for plastic surgery.

There were even rumors that she was going to release a sex tape to get some money.

Thoughts and prayers to Luke Perry for a quick recovery, so that we don’t have to see Tori Spelling naked.

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Momo Challenge Urges Kids to Harm Themselves. Don’t Let Them.

The Momo Challenge is here, and it makes the Tide Pod challenge look like a parent's dream.

A horrifying image appears in children's videos and on their messaging apps, instructing them to harm themselves and others or even to commit suicide.

And the worst thing is that it's been going on for much longer than anyone realized.

Our nightmares have a new face.

Reports have been circulating about a "challenge" appearing on WhatsApp and YouTube and targeted at young children.

Children will watch a YouTube video that appears to be a children's television program and they will see Momo during a jarring intermission.

Alternatively, they will simply seek out Momo on a messaging app like WhatsApp.

A scary face frightening children is only the beginning, however.

Momo typing

"Momo" then challenges children, sometimes in stages.

Ultimately, this challenge -- like some other disturbing pranks played on children -- can cause them to harm themselves.

Some of these messages include instructions on how to commit suicide.

Others are even more insidiious.

One of the reports circulating on social media said that children were instructed by "Momo" to turn on a gas stove while everyone is asleep.

That report was not confirmed, but sends chills down people's spines.

Momo on the skorys channel

The first reports of this challenge arose in the summer of 2018.

So why haven't children been raising the alarm? Why are most people only hearing about it now?

For one thing, the children who are targeted are the youngest demographics, usually with ages in the single digits.

But most significantly, some of the Momo material threatens to hurt or kill the parents of children who tell.

Since this story began circulating, we've also seen stories of parents asking their children about it, only to have the children burst into tears of fear and relief.

Little kids rarely have the life experience or perspective to understand when a threat is or is not plausible.

Momo police warning

There is no doubt that the Momo Challenge has scared the pants off of plenty of people, including young children and concerned parents.

There is, however, good news.

As multiple outlets have reported after taking a good, hard look at the story, there's less danger than there appears.

While a small number of international deaths have been "linked to" Momo, there is no proof that they died because of the challenge.

In fact, Forbes reports that this story has spread out of proportion among worried parents, not unlike past viral pranks.

Tide pod 1

It's not that no one ever ate Tide Pods or that no teen has ever ingested hand sanitizer in an effort to get drunk.

It's just that people perceive it as having happened much more than it actually did.

Parenting experts recommend that parents use this as an opportunity to talk to their children about dangers on the internet.

This includes strangers, pranks, and the "challenge culture" that infests parts of social media.

It's also a good idea for parents to reconsider giving very young children unfiltered access to YouTube.

We would make a radical suggestion that parents spend time around their wee ones so that they can always see or at least hear what they're watching.

You know what's really sad?

The face seen as "Momo" is originally a sculpture by an artist named Midori Hayashi. It's a fine piece, and was never meant to be used like this.

The momo challenge urges children to harm themselves

Sofia Richie is a Victoria’s Secret Model Now

Football has the Super Bowl, soccer has the World Cup and Baseball has the World Series, and the sport of making dudes horny so they buy clothes for their girlfriends and wives has Victoria’s Secret and Sports Illustrated. That means Sofia Richie, youngest daughter of legendary singer Lionel Richie, has finally made it to the big leagues.

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Pre Oscars vibe in @victoriassecret #ad

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It’s not a runway job, but it is Victoria’s Secret modeling. Horny dudes everywhere are going to be buying that bra and panty set for their partners. To celebrate, let’s take a look back at her days in the minor leagues.

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I love the Opera

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Dare to play

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Made it to cabo🌞

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I feel like she’s got a big career ahead of her.

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Names Buck

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💇🏽@chasehair @cgonzalezbeauty

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The ‘Awww’ Factor is Off the Charts As Cardi B Posts Pic of Offset With Their Daughter Kulture

It’s no surprise that, contingent on her endorsing Bernie Sanders again in 2020, Cardi B is my favorite celebrity. She’s like a Kardashian who’s famous for having talent and not just fucking basketball players and rappers. Seriously, has any one of them dated anyone outside of those two professions? But I digress.

Cardi B and Offset are back together, and that means they’re spending time with their baby Kulture. They usually don’t let people see her on social media, but we got a rare glimpse and holy shit is that one adorable baby.

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PUNTA CANA ❤ @offsetyrn KK 3 month old

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This is just the second picture Cardi has showed of her daughter, after this one from early December.

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My heart ❤

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Normally she and Offset will go as far as to edit her face out of posts.

She explained why in Harper’s Bazaar earlier this month.

“As soon as she was born, one month in [Offset] was like, ‘She’s so beautiful. Watch how people gonna go crazy.’ ’Cause a lot of people were saying mean stuff, like that we don’t post her because she’s ugly. He was like, ‘I’m about to post my baby right now.’ But then we were very concerned because we were getting a lot of threats, so he said, ‘The world don’t even deserve to see her.’” Eventually Cardi wanted to put a photo up because “it’s really annoying and we don’t have a life. We have to hide her all the time. I can’t go to L.A. or Miami and walk down the beach with my baby. I want to go shopping with my baby. I want to take a stroll with my baby. Sometimes I feel bad for her because all she knows is the house.” But can’t you put on a baseball cap? I ask. Will people still recognize you? “Yeah,” she says. “It’s my nose.”

That’s messed up. Be nice to Cardi B, she’s great.

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KULTURE @shynejewelers

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And look at that little baby bling! So cute.

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Jason Momoa’s Bare Chest Is Selling Girl Scout Cookies

It took a stint as a murderous Dothraki and another as Aquaman before someone realized Momoa sounds a lot like Samoas, the famous Girl Scout cookies. But when one fifth grader’s mother finally did, she capitalized on it.

Charlotte Holmberg, now a Top Cookie CEO for the Girl Scouts and the fifth grader in question, has started to sell Jason Momoa branded Samoa cookies called Momoas. With the help of Charlotte’s mom, who works in marketing obviously, the two have printed individual photos of a shirtless Jason Momoa and put them on boxes of those cookies.

“Moms are getting really excited and they’re saying they need them,” Charlotte said not realizing she’s selling the equivalent of a JC Penny catalog for moms.

Charlotte is also soon going to find out what the words “cease and desist mean” because by tomorrow an army of Warner Bros. lawyers is coming to her house to put an end to this cute story.

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Jussie Smollett Just Can’t Stop Hate-Criming Himself

Things are not going well for Jussie Smollett. Get used to reading that, because I have a feeling the bad news is just going to keep coming for him. As you know, a few weeks ago he claimed that he was hate crimed by some guys who recognized him from Empire but also love Donald Trump, though the police now believe he hired some extras from Empire to stage the attack, which Cardi B said “fucked up Black History Month.”

Well, despite his insistence that he didn’t stage the attack, the bad news keeps rolling in. I don’t even really know where to start with all the bad news for him, there’s just much of it. His motive for staging this attack was that no one seemed to care that someone sent a racist letter to him through Empire.  But the two guys he hired to attack him said that he’s the one who sent the letter to himself.

And yeah, the return address on that letter just said “MAGA.” Same thing the attackers yelled. Really weird he got hate crimed twice by MAGA guys in the span of a week. That, right there, puts me firmly in the “he did that shit” camp.

But the bad news doesn’t end there, because it turns out that lying to the police in the way he allegedly did is a felony in Illinois. Via Variety:

If Smollett falsified a police report, the charge is a Class 4 felony in Illinois, and carries a potential sentence of one to three years in prison. Smollett could also be ordered to pay restitution to compensate for the cost of the Chicago Police Department investigation.

“It’s a very, very, very serious situation,” said Phil Turner, a former federal prosecutor who now works in criminal defense in Chicago. “He’s got some very significant exposure.”

What else could go wrong for Jussie? Well, there were rumors that he staged all of this because he was worried about being written off of Empire and now he’s being written off of Empire. Not entirely, but TMZ reported that he had his screen time slashed in the episode that’s filming this week.

Production sources tell TMZ … Jussie was supposed to have 9 scenes and a big musical number in the second to the last episode — which is being shot now — but 5 of his scenes have been cut, and his musical number has been 86’d.

As for the remaining 4 scenes  … we’re told he’s no longer the focus. The scene features an ensemble, meaning he’s flanked by a number of cast members.

Things are not looking good for Smollett is the word here. He certainly raised his profile with this (alleged, he seems like he could get litigious about this) stunt, but not in a good way. There clearly is such a thing as bad publicity.

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Sport’s Illustrated’s Newest 2019 Rookie is Kelsey Merritt

The Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue is right around the corner, and that means there’s a whole new class of rookies. Normally, SI would have put it out by now, but because of increased winter sports coverage in the US it’s been pushed back to May when people are actually shopping for swimsuits. That’s totally why they make this magazine and what people buy it for, right? To browse for swimsuits so they know which kind they want to buy? Anyway, this year’s extended wait is worth it because we get to meet Kelsey Merritt.

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Love my job ♥ @victoriassecret

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What winter should look like 🏖👙

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It seems impossible for a human being to wear that, but she certainly wears it well.

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In paradise!!!!😍🌴

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New holiday shoot for @victoriassecret ✨✨✨

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Second home 🌊🌊🌊

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Stretch marks are sexy. Say it with me ❤

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Of warm weather and tan lines

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You can catch Kelsey and all the other rookie models in the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue in May. I’m sure it just came with your subscription and you don’t even read it.

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