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Kaia Gerber Stuns in a Low-Cut Dress

Kaia Gerber kills it in a tight black dress that shows off her boobs. Because BOOOBS! Gerber posted the pic to Instagram with the caption: “😈 @livincool”.

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😈 @livincool

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Livin Cool evidently is a clothing company that sells stuff like pink hoodies for $150. Included for free is a letter for help written by a child sweatshop laborer sewn into the lining.

Gerber, 2018’s model of the year as judged by the 2018 Fashion Awards, looks a lot like Cindy Crawford in this photo. A lot of these kids of supermodels and rich people could never make it as a model without their family connections, but congrats to Gerber for working the system.

The post Kaia Gerber Stuns in a Low-Cut Dress appeared first on The Blemish.

Olivia Culpo Has Shiny Cleavage

Olivia Culpo posted to Instagram today. Blessings to all because Culpo shows off her shiny cleavage.

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Set today!!!! 👻

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She captioned it: “Set today!!!! 👻

Of course, this can never top Olivia Culpo’s greatest cleavage pic ever. Or her never-ending stream of bikini pics.

Not sure what she’s shooting for. In her IG story where she’s wearing the same outfit, she wrote: “I’m shooting something I designed today and I want to tell you so badly but I can’t.”

In the story, she’s sporting a vintage feather boa with her hair in waves parted to the side. So, maybe a throwback shoot to the 1940’s. Umm, just enjoy her boobs, ok?

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Liam Hemsworth’s New Fling, Maddison Brown, and Her Hottest Photos

Liam Hemsworth moved on from Miley Cyrus rather quick and is dating Dynasty‘s Maddison Brown. Not as quick as Miley and her Kaitlynn Carter and Cody Simpsons connections, but quick enough.

Hemsworth is trying to one-up Miley in this public fight for dominance. He’s been conveniently photographed hanging out with the 22-year-old Brown. Brown plays Kirby Anders in the CW drama. If that makes any sense to you, congrats.

I’ll be honest, I had no idea who this girl is. But kudos to Brown for latching onto Hemsworth for publicity, just like Carter used Miley.

We’ll see how long this lasts. Only slightly longer than it’ll take you to check out Maddison Brown’s hottest pics.

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Just me looking out to 400k of you 🥰 #thanku

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Happiness. @sixsensesuluwatu

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New hat who dis?

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Jenni ‘JWoww’ Farley of ‘Jersey Shore’ Splits With Boyfriend Because He was Flirting with Costar

Jenni “JWoww” Farley kicked her boyfriend, Zack Clayton Carpinello, to the curb after a Jersey Shore show filmed five months ago showed him touching co-star Angelina Pivarnick’s butt. Awww, womp womp.

During the Jersey Shore: Family Vacation episode, JWoww got super drunk. While she’s in her own world, Carpinello curls her “big hand” (that’s according to Angelina) around Angelina’s butt and waist.

Then, Carpinello whispers to her, “Are we friends now?” Smooth.

JWoww went on Instagram and said how humiliated she was to find out now and “probably laughed at and made into a story line that will forever haunt me.” We were laughing at you way before this.

She wrote on IG:

“After seeing tonight’s episode I’m pretty hurt. I feel disrespected by someone I called a friend and by someone who stated they loved me. For 5 months I was kept in the dark about this. For 5 months I was naive, probably laughed at and made into a story line that will forever haunt me. My heart hurts on so many levels. One thing I learned from tonight’s episode is know your value. Don’t ever lower your standards.”

This dude Zack is 24, Farley is 33. How do you think a 24-year-old is gonna act while drinking in a club?

A source said “Jenni is not speaking to either of them at the moment.”

Farley and Carpinello started dating in April of this year. Farley had divorced from ex-husband Roger Mathews in September of the previous year.

While Farley takes time to process this incident that’ll “haunt” her forever, it won’t stop her from pimping out protein shakes and waist trainers on Instagram.

The post Jenni ‘JWoww’ Farley of ‘Jersey Shore’ Splits With Boyfriend Because He was Flirting with Costar appeared first on The Blemish.

Cosplayer Liz Katz is One Sexy Nerd

San Diego Comic Con is in the summer, but there are conventions for comics as well as anime and manga, all year round. And one of the hottest mainstays in the convention circuit is a Liz Katz, former pornstar and current nerd.

Here she is as a female version of Izuku Midoriya from My Hero Academia.

Deku wears way more clothes, but who cares?

Here she is as Bulma from Dragon Ball.

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Somebunny to love

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I finally got a new phone.

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That tattoo is quite something. It’s an ahego, or an extremely exaggerated version of the face you make while having an orgasm.

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That first time you try Takis

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Yeah, like that.

Katz is an interesting success story because she went from porn to cosplay when so, so often it goes the other way. Like Maitland Ward!

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Body of rubber heart of gold. #onepiececosplay

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And that’s Luffy, hero of One Piece, the most popular comic book ever. Which is weird, because she has the perfect body to be Nami.

The post Cosplayer Liz Katz is One Sexy Nerd appeared first on The Blemish.

Chrissy Teigen Wanted a Normal Tacky Tattoo, Came Away Looking Like a Holocaust Survivor

Maybe the number one thing on the list of things you’re going to get in trouble for is making light of the Holocaust. I mean, unless you’re making Hogan’s Heroes, in which case go nuts, people loved that show about the incompetent guards in the Nazi prison camp.

Now, I am positive that Chrissy Teigen just wanted a cute tattoo to remind her of her family and settled on her, her husband’s and her two kid’s birthdays. It’s a cute idea, maybe up on your bicep with a heart around it, right? Wouldn’t that be adorable? What she did get was a series of numbers tattooed on the inside of her forearm.

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cool mom back at it again with @winterstone!!!!

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Again, I am positive that Teigen never realized for a second that she had marched (goose-stepped?) into a tattoo parlor and asked for a Dachau Special.

This really does seem like the sort of thing a tattoo artist should catch. Like, day one of tattoo school class should be “no strings of numbers on the inside of the forearm and no penises on the face of someone who is passed out drunk.”

Honestly, I think Teigen’s only real play here is to become a Holocaust-denier. It’s probably preferable to being this level of uninformed. When anyone brings it up just say “That’s a myth, Hitler just wanted to get all the Jews in one place to throw them a big party.” It worked for Mel Gibson,

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Victoria’s Secret Announces They’s Hired Ali Tate Cutler, the Brand’s First Size 14 Model

Victoria’s Secret has been desperately trying to cling to relevance in this era of mall closure around the world. It turns out that poorly-made, overpriced underwear isn’t all that attractive when it’s not next to the Orange Julius you’re going to stop at on your weekly shopping trip.

One recent criticism of the brand is that all their models are attractive, which is bad now because we want inspiring stories about trans runway models with no legs protesting the war on drugs or whatever. So Victoria’s Secret has hired their first size 14 model, Ali Tate Carter.

E! reported that the brand has had other plus sized models, but Ali is the largest woman the brand has ever employed at size 14. Let’s a have a look at what that means.

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Here’s my ride or die @sambridgestudios. I don’t talk about my personal relationships too much on insta but I figured this is one love story that may be encouraging for some people to hear. I have a lot of people in my life searching for a romantic relationship and feeling exasperated by the modern dating scene of swiping right only to discover that there isn’t much chemistry. We can only find out so much from a few carefully curated photos and a pithy bio. We met almost 9 years ago on a bus at 2 am in London. It was the last seat left and I sat next to him. He kept checking me out and my immediate thought was “creep” and I said, “Can I help you with something?” Really taken aback and kind of timidly he said, “Hi, my name is Sam Bridge. What’s your name?” I was like, okay, not standard creep response, let’s chat. When I said I needed to get off at the next stop, he asked me for my number and told me he would ride this bus every day for the rest of the year if I didn’t. He called me 10 minutes after I got off the bus and said, “Look, I’m not doing this whole 3 day thing, I need to see you tomorrow.” I was intrigued by the honesty and vulnerability. We hung out for almost 24 hours the next day and that started our immediately close and intense relationship that would take us to many countries, a quick marriage ceremony with three people present so that we could stay together without visa issues, and many ups and downs. I didn’t have a smart phone 8 years ago, and neither did he. If we did have them, there’s a chance we both would have been glued to our phones and never looked at one another or started talking. Sometimes you can miss your people in those small moments, the ones when we’re idly scrolling. Dating apps are great and I know people who have had success meeting someone on them. But nothing is better to me than meeting someone IRL and feeling their energy, and letting those sometimes awkward first conversations spark. Cliche, but here is to putting our phones down a little bit more and being in the present moment because you may have a chance encounter that takes you down an amazing path.

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Hey, wait a second, she’s just a super hot woman with slightly thick thighs. This is what the fuss is about? There were a bunch of headlines about this.

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My friend by me on a summer day

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When in doubt find a dog and chill tf out

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I love that all Victoria’s Secret had to do to get all the woke cred they were missing was hire a slightly thick super hot model.

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Evolving, don’t have time tryna be skinny

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That’s her “not tryna be skinny.”

The post Victoria’s Secret Announces They’s Hired Ali Tate Cutler, the Brand’s First Size 14 Model appeared first on The Blemish.

Andy Dick Is Doing Great

Andy Dick got slammed to the ground after trying to steal food from an Uber Eats driver.

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Robert De Niro is Being Sued for Creating a Hostile Environment for his Assistant to Binge-Watch Netflix

A few months ago, Robert De Niro brought a lawsuit against a former employee, accusing her of embezzling money and watching Netflix at work, which I’m not even sure is illegal. ‘Time theft’ is made-up bullshit corporate speak and far, far overshadowed by wage theft, the underpayment of employees, which comprises over half of all theft. But I digress.

Today that employee De Niro sued, Graham Chase Robinson, made headlines with some shocking allegations against De Niro when she filed her own lawsuit. And when I say shocking, I mean they sound shockingly like bullshit.

Here are the details via Page Six.

Worse, De Niro terrorized Robinson with creepy conduct — he “urinated during telephone calls” with her and would greet her wearing only his “pajamas or a bathrobe,” the suit says.

I’m sorry to inform you that peeing while you’re on the phone is bad manners but not illegal. It’s really not even as bad as texting during a movie. In fact, not only did President Lyndon Johnson have phones installed in the White House bathroom so he could take calls, he would make staff come into the bathroom for meetings while he was taking a shit.

“Among other things, De Niro would direct Ms. Robinson to scratch his back, button his shirts and prod him awake when he was in bed,” the complaint says. “De Niro also stood idly by while his friend slapped Ms. Robinson on her buttocks.”

Okay, so, if the ass-slapping thing is true, that’s not acceptable. The other stuff is, again, who cares. Oh no, your boss made you wake him up.

The 19-page lawsuit includes a link to a 51-second recording of a voicemail she claims De Niro once left her when she didn’t pick up her phone.

“You f–king don’t answer my calls. How dare you? You’re about to be fired. You’re f–king history,” he seethes in the undated message. “This is bulls–t. How dare you f–king disrespect me? You gotta be f–king kidding me, you spoiled brat! F–k you!”

I mean, I get yelling at someone who you’re paying to binge watch Friends. It is disrespectful. Should he be nicer? Yes. Should this woman get $12 million for it? Nope.

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What Rapper and/or Basketball Player Will Kylie Jenner Date After Her Break-Up With Travis Scott?

Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you’ve probably heard the horrible news. No, not that the President and the former Vice-President are both corrupt and have Alzheimer’s, I mean the important news. Kylie Jenner and Travis Scott broke up!

According to TMZ, the couple are “taking a break,” which we all know is bullshit. I’m still “taking a break” with a girl I dated in high school who is now married and has three kids; I’m sure she’ll be ready to get back together any day now.

We’re told they’ve been trying to make the relationship work for a while, but several weeks ago they decided to step away — at least for now. Worth noting … Kylie hasn’t posted anything with Travis since Sept. 10.

“I just don’t think it’s a good idea to be in a relationship right now, Travis.”

People reported that Kylie wants to have another baby, but didn’t trust Travis enough for it to be with him.

But while the makeup mogul, 22, is ready to settle down and expand their family, Scott, 28, is still focused on his booming music career. According to the source, the stress of their lifestyles put a strain on the relationship.

“She still has trust issues with Travis. He hasn’t been giving her the commitment that she needs,” says the source. “Travis isn’t ready to give her all that she wants.”

So what rapper and/or NBA player will Kylie date next? The Daily Mail says we don’t even have to wait to find out because Kylie and two of her friends gave Tyga a 2 a.m. booty call.

In an eyebrow-raising twist, they headed straight to the Sunset Marquis, where Kylie’s ex boyfriend Tyga was working in the hotel’s recording studio.

Kylie’s spokesperson declined to comment when contacted by DailyMail.com on Wednesday.

No really, Travis, it’s not you, it’s me. Let’s all hope Travis Scott doesn’t see Joker this weekend.

The post What Rapper and/or Basketball Player Will Kylie Jenner Date After Her Break-Up With Travis Scott? appeared first on The Blemish.

Noah Cyrus Likes Getting Naked as Much as Her Sister Miley

It turns out that in addition to a creepy dad, the Cyrus sisters also share a love of getting naked on camera. Which honestly works for me. Whoever decided that being a thot is liberating and expressing your woman or whatever deserves a medal.

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feeling the LA heat 🌸

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feeling the LA heat 🌸

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dunno

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Just completely allergic to not having her tits out. Which is fine with me.

She deleted a picture of herself in a bikini riding a motorcycle with her dad, but man… Billy Ray gets himself into some seriously messed up situations with his daughters.

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🤕🤕🤕

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so many thots 💭??

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R. Kelly is Fighting For His Fucking Life, Right to Have Threesomes in Prison

Being in prison kind of sucks. I mean, not even by design, it’s become an industry built around human suffering designed to put people into prisons with terrible conditions so the big corporations who run them can make money.

But the thing that R. Kelly is complaining about is the lack of threesomes. In fact, his lawyer argues he should be let out on bail because he is having very few threesomes while in prison, according to CNN.

“His visits are severely restricted; presently, he is only allowed one unrelated person to visit. In other words, although he lives and has lived with two lady friends, only one of them is allowed to be on his visiting list, and after 90 days he is required to switch,” Greenberg says in the motion. “No other friends or professional colleagues are allowed to visit. That is not right.”

Okay, so it’s a little worse than just no threesomes. That is a pretty messed up visitation rule though. What is even the point other than being mean? But I do like that “he has lived with two lady friends” is in a legal document.

Kelly’s lawyer also argues that Kelly doesn’t present a flight risk or a risk to victims if set free, which… last time he got out of jail he immediately headed over to the McDonalds he picks up teenagers at. It’s just not helping his case.

The post R. Kelly is Fighting For His Fucking Life, Right to Have Threesomes in Prison appeared first on The Blemish.

What Ariel Winter Fantasizes About While We Fantasize About Her

As far as I’m concerned, Ariel Winter is by far the most beautiful woman in Hollywood, non-Kristen-Stewart division. Which is weird because I’ve seen her on Modern Family since she was like, 10. But that’s the weird thing about long-running sitcoms, sometimes they come back from summer hiatus and one of the child actors is 22 and super hot. This is absolutely what happened with Ariel Winter.

So nowadays, when she says she’s fantasizing about something, I pay attention to what it is.

Really? Candy Corn? The worst of all supermarket candies? That dress looks familiar, though.

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♠ @entertainmentweekly ♠

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Wow, that’s what she looks like after having a breast reduction? That is almost unfair to other women.

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just prepping for my afternoon nap #tbt

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FriYAY #mood 🙃

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Very much looking forward to seeing what Ariel will be doing after Modern Family ends next year. Unlike some people on that show, she has options. If I was the kid who played Luke I would be very shrewd with my investments is all I’m saying. Maybe take some acting lessons.

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Never been timid🤷🏻‍♀️👊🏼 @composuremag

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Stacey Dash Tries Using Her White Privilege to Get Better Treatment in Prison

‘White privilege’ is the idea that in most situations, all other things being equal, white people will be more likely to succeed than non-white people, mostly because in many ways, western society is structured around the white experience. For example, the word association part of the SATs is more likely to use words white people would be familiar with from everyday usage. It doesn’t mean white people don’t have struggles, just that it’s a little more favorable.

Stacey Dash doesn’t believe white privilege exists. On an appearance on The O’Reilly Factor she said of idea of white privilege, “That’s the propaganda that’s false, that’s when it makes it someone else’s fault. Your life, your destiny, anything you want is dependent on somebody else. That’s not true.”

But it seems like Stacey may have decided there’s something to it after all. While I haven’t been able to independently verify this because I am not a journalist, the website Diaspora7 reported that Dash’s arrest report for the domestic violence incident she was involved in listed her her as a white woman.

This is sort of a self-ID situation, and there really isn’t any planet on which Stacey Dash is white. Her father is black and her mother is a Latina, which yes, can be considered Caucasian but Dash’s mother isn’t even particularly fair skinned.

We in the business here like to call this a “reverse Elizabeth Warren” or an “inverted Dolezal.”

Also, I’m not one to speculate wildly, but she looks a lot lighter-skinned today than she did in Clueless.

Dash is also apparently broke, as she asked for a public defender, which in Florida is means-tested. The judge approved her request but Dash will have to prove she’s got no money.

Alicia Silverstone has a net worth of 20 million dollars. Also acting talent.

Seriously, is Stacey Dash actually trying to look white? She looks like Sheryl Crow in some of the pictures she put on her Instagram.

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Our Boy Aaron Carter Needs Help, Not Just Because of His Face Tattoo

If you haven’t seen Aaron Carter’s face tattoo, you’re missing out. This is the look of a very specific life choice.

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BaBY MaKiNG MaCHiNe 🤪

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Too bad it’s also a sign of Aaron Carter going down the Britney Spears/Amanda Bynes of “send help fast.”

Blind Gossip had a post about a singer whose family knows he’s mentally ill and wants to get him help, but they can’t hold him on a 5150. That’s the California code for an involuntary psychiatric hold.

He refuses to get treated voluntarily and they can’t have him committed until he actually does something. He has to either hurt himself or someone else or directly say he’s going to do that before they can do anything. He’s tricky, though, and hasn’t threatened anyone directly.

Everyone’s guessing this blind post is Aaron Carter and it probably fits. A huge ass face tattoo, accusing your brother of raping a 91-year-old, this dude is getting out of control.

Carter even addressed it yesterday, tweeting out:

…Like honestly, let’s say I did have a mental illness and because I get a face tattoo on MY BODY. you want to tell me publicly to be sent to a mental institution? I’d out be out in five minutes and they’ve already tried. Many times. STOP.

“They’ve already tried.” Someone’s trying to get him help, but it’s not sticking.

Carter recently canceled a string of shows to focus on his mental well-being. At the time, he tweeted out:

I have to put my health first and I hope you can all understand how much I need this time to heal and recharge my batteries. I love you. Stay strong. Stay healthy, and just know I’ll be back next year ready to go. But as a man, this is what I need to do to have some peace. Xo

Even worse, Blind Gossip says this singer has access to a huge “weapons stash” and his family is afraid he’s going to hurt them.

They feel helpless but, even worse, they feel terrified! He has an enormous weapons stash and they are afraid for their lives. Sure they can get restraining orders, but what are they going to do if he hunts them down? Wave a little piece of paper at him? The whole family is seriously discussing how they can go off the grid so he can’t find them.

On an earlier episode of The Doctors this month, he said:

“The official diagnosis is that I suffer from multiple personality disorder, schizophrenia, acute anxiety and manic depression.”

Thanks Hollywood, you’re ruining another child star.

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Aaron Carter Got a Giant Face Tattoo to Prove How Not Crazy He Is

If there’s one thing you can do to prove to everyone that you’re a perfectly sane, normal person it’s tell everyone your famous, successful brother raped a 91-year-old woman. If that doesn’t work, the second most stable and sane thing you can do is to get a face tattoo.

This is the course of action Aaron Carter is taking and it’s worked out great.

When I say it’s worked out well, I mean for me. Because look at that dipshit. What even is that? Is that Medusa? Did Aaron Carter get a Medusa tattoo?

Carter also says he’s the biggest thing in music right now, but I’m pretty sure that’s BTS, the Korean band with the sense to not get tattoos on their beautiful, beautiful faces.

Seriously, when is the last time Aaron Carter even released an album? Apparently it was about two years ago, which is weird because until he went batshit the last time I heard his name is when he was still putting it in Hilary Duff.

I love how he tags Worldstar in the himself. The only way he’s going to end up on Worldstar is when his brother knocks him out in the street.

And doing donuts on an ATV is “living your best life”? You know that Netflix exists, right? Also prostitutes.

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McKayla Maroney Back on the Socials After Being Gone for Awhile

McKayla Maroney has ended her absence from social media. Maroney hopped back on Instagram and Twitter with her first post.

She captioned it:

missed u guys ☁ last few years a lots happened w the #MeToo movement, and losing my dad very unexpectedly..
i’ll definitely talk about it more, but for now i’ll just say that even on the worst days, i knew i had so much to be thankful for. i have the most supportive family, and friends, and u guys are part of that.
blessed to have u, and happy to be back 👼

She’s definitely had a rough year. Her dad died this past January. At the time, she tweeted out:

Love u dad. I can’t believe it’s real. I don’t want to. I’ll miss you forever. Rest in peace. You were the most incredible dad

Then there was the gymnastics sex scandal with pedophile Larry Nassar. Maroney gave an interview to NBC News and detailed how Nassar’s “invasive” exams were just excuses to finger her when she was 15.

Nassar, she said, had given her a sleeping aid on the long-haul flight to Japan for the world championships. By the time she got to his hotel room that night, she wasn’t feeling like herself.

She wasn’t alone with the doctor — at first. Maroney says two-time Olympian Aly Raisman was getting worked on, Jordyn Wieber had her foot in an ice bath, and a trainer was fighting off sleep.

One by one, Nassar dismissed them until only Maroney, then 15 years old and not yet an Olympic champion, was left.

“And then I got worked on,” she said.

“[It] was very, very hard for me not to acknowledge the fact that … this was not treatment. I was being abused,” she said. “I was bawling, naked on a bed, him on top of me, like fingering me.

That is a rough year. A parent’s death, reliving sexual abuse, I guess it would be callous for me to put up all her booty and cleavage shots from Instagram now, won’t it. Ok, maybe one.

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💙

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Welcome back McKayla.

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Ariel Winter Is Here to Remind You About Her Boobs

What is Ariel Winter going ot do after Modern Family calls it quits? Hopefully, continue posting cleavage shots on Instagram.

Not much backstory to this, so let’s just say it’s a Friday gift from Winter to you.

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FriYAY #mood 🙃

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Winter recently told Shape how she had to get over depression from all the body shaming people did.

“I’ve faced body shaming and cyber bullies for about seven or eight years now that I’ve been in the spotlight. At 11 years old, I started working on the show and I was super flat and had no curves and was getting hate for that. Then overnight, my body changed and I was this curvy woman. I didn’t know how to navigate that and got so much hate for it. It was really hurtful, and I struggled a lot. I tried to crash diet to lose weight to try to fit the standard of what I thought everyone wanted me to look like…I definitely wasn’t making myself any happier. It led to a lot of depression and anxiety. But now I’m at the point where I’ve stopped reading Instagram comments. I do what I want, I post what I want, and I say what I want. I don’t focus on pleasing anyone else but myself.”

She also touches on that boob reduction surgery she had:

I got a lot of confused people after my surgery being like, ‘Well, you’re trying to tell people to love their bodies just the way they are, but you got a breast reduction’, and you know, the thing is, my body was great back then but I did something because I felt it was better for me. I had back problems, and I felt I wasn’t right in my own skin, so I made the change for me.

Fight depression, tell Ariel Winter that her boobs are amazing.

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Mark Ronson is Sorry He Likes to Bang Smart Girls

If you’ve never heard the term ‘sapiosexual’ before, it’s because it’s meaningless and not a real word. My spellcheck doesn’t even recognize it, it’s one of endless fake sexualities made up by the internet. Sapiosexuals are people who claim they’re only attracted to smart people, which is funny because everyone who claims to be sapiosexual is retarded.

Mark Ronson made some headlines when he “came out” as sapiosexual earlier this week on Good Morning Britain, showing the world exactly what it takes to be the biggest choad on a show hosted by Piers Morgan, a literal bag of pus shaped like a man.

Via The Sun:

Turning to Ronson, she added: “You are identifying as a man who likes intellect?”

He replied: “Yeah, I didn’t know that there was a word for it.

“We were all arguing backstage in the dressing room. With a couple of your producers. And yes I feel like I am identifying as sapiosexual.”

To be fair to Ronson, he had just heard of the concept backstage before the show, and it’s easy to think “oh, yeah, that describes me pretty well” when you first hear it. I thought the same thing because all my serious relationships have been with intelligent people, but then I remembered I’ve had as much as I possibly could with people best described as “hot dumb-dumbs.”

Ronson told Rolling Stone he was basically roped into the whole exchange by GMB’s hosts, which makes sense because again, Piers Morgan, total dipshit.

After the show, Ronson said he went back to his hotel and saw that his remarks were making headlines. “It sounds like I went on a TV show to be like, ‘Guys, I have some big news!’ And the fact that I would go on and sort of declare myself — like as a heterosexual white male — part of any marginalized community was  terrifying to me, or just embarrassing.”

I think it’s a good save for Ronson, and we know he’s telling the truth because if he had said something different in private, Piers Morgan likely would have seen it on his phone.

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Attention All Bros, Please Stop

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Fly the Friendly Skies With Sexy Pilot Amanda Cerny

The Pittsburgh Steelers are one of the few NFL teams that don’t have cheerleaders. Local lore says that it’s because if they did have cheerleaders, they’d all be from Pittsburgh. But Amanda Cerny is from Pittsburgh and she is smoking hot.

The Adam Devine’s House Party alum was showing off her assets on Instagram, doing her best Amelia Earhart impersonation.

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Amelia Earharting!

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I’m on board. You know, except for the part where she gets eaten by crabs, no thank you.

I mean, the woman knows what works for her.

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Chasing summer 🦀 You can always find me near the sea.🌊☀

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I told you she needed to watch out for those crabs.

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A healthy reminder 💛

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Oh what the hell, it’s worth the risk.

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Jennifer Lopez Shit-Talked Basically Everyone in Resurfaced Interview

I think Jennifer Lopez and I are going to have a problem. An old interview recently resurfaced in which the diva slags off basically every other actress in Hollywood, and that is my job. You don’t see me running around with my fat ass hanging out of the back of my skirt starring in terrible movies, so just step back from the celebrity insults.

Here’s what Lopez said in the 1998 Movieline interview which recently went viral on social media.

Salma Hayek? “We’re in two different realms. She’s a sexy bombshell and those are the kinds of roles she does. I do all kinds of different things. It makes me laugh when she says she got offered Selena, which was an outright lie. If that’s what she does to get herself publicity, then that’s her thing. Columbia offered me the choice of Fools Rush In or Anaconda, but I chose the fun B-movie because the Fools script wasn’t strong enough.”

We’ve seen a lot of range and great performances from Salma Hayek over the years. She’s won an Emmy and was knighted in France. Jennifer Lopez won a Golden Raspberry for Gigli and didn’t get top billing over Constance Wu in a movie where she plays a 50-year-old whore.

Cameron Diaz? “A lucky model who’s been given a lot of opportunities I just wish she would have done more with. She’s beautiful and has a great presence, though, and in My Best Friend’s Wedding, I thought, ‘When directed, she can be good.'”

Gwyneth Paltrow? “Tell me what she’s been in? I swear to God, I don’t remember anything she was in. Some people get hot by association. I heard more about her and Brad Pitt than I ever heard about her work.”

Well, Gwyneth Paltrow is a crazy person now, so that’s okay.

Claire Danes? “A good actress. Her emotional and inner life are available to her, which is a good start. But I feel like I see a lot of the same thing with every character she does. She’s not that way in U-Turn, though.”

Winona Ryder? “I was never a big fan of hers. In Hollywood she’s revered, she gets nominated for Oscars, but I’ve never heard anyone in the public or among my friends say, ‘Oh, I love her.’ She’s cute and talented, though, and I’d like her just for looking like my older sister, Leslie.”

Wow, she called Winona Ryder old, nice backhanded compliment. How much do you think J-Lo would rather be on Stranger Things than in Hustlers?

Madonna? “Do I think she’s a great performer? Yeah. Do I think she’s a great actress? No. Acting is what I do, so I’m harder on people when they say, ‘Oh, I can do that–I can act.’ I’m like, ‘Hey, don’t spit on my craft.'”

I’d like to point out that, once again, Jennifer Lopez was in Gigli a few years after she said Madonna should stick to singing because she can’t act. I don’t actually think I can top that.

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Aaron Carter Says Brother Nick Raped a 91-Year-Old Woman

Remember Aaron and Nick Carter? Yeah, neither do I. Was one of them married to Jessica Simpson? That seems like a thing I remember happening. Was that another boy band member?

If you haven’t been following, and really, why would you have been, the you might have missed that Aaron has been becoming more and more unhinged. He has a huge cache of weapons and his brother Nick recently filed for a restraining order against him because he’s afraid Aaron wants to kill him and his family.

Aaron, however, is clearly determined to go all the way to Margot Kiddertown, because he’s accusing his brother Nick of raping a 91-year-old woman.

He tagged the FBI like half a dozen times. Also polygraph machines are bullshit and don’t work.

He also seems to be mad that the FBI hasn’t arrested his brother before he’s posted the unhinged rant to Instagram.

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unconditional love

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Then there was this.

Look, I’m pretty sure that Nick Carter hasn’t raped anyone, least of all a nonagenarian. And I hope Aaron gets some help before we find him crawling though the bushes in the Hollywood Hills.

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Dustin Diamond is Going to Fight That Manlet Who Lost His Shit in a Bagel Store

One of the things I’m saddest about it life is that I have never written about Chris Morgan, the dipshit who got bodied in a Bagel Boss Store while ranting about how no women want to hop on his Lilliputian dick. You need to see the video because it is hilarious.

That guy just goes down like a particularly small sack of potatoes.

But Chris isn’t going to give up his 15 minutes of fame, even if that fame is from everyone laughing at how pathetic he is. And Page Six reported that the way he’s doing is by fighting Dustin Diamond in a celebrity boxing match.

I see we’re still playing fast and loose with the definition of the word “celebrity” here.

The problem, as I see it, is that Morgan isn’t going to be able to hit Diamond above the belt unless someone gets him a milk crate like the kid from Tall Girl. Which maybe Morgan should watch. Like him, it’s terrible, but unlike his life it involves a short guy landing a woman because he’s not a complete tool.

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Ivanka Trump’s Nipples Were All Over the United Nations

They must keep the air conditioning turned up pretty high at the United Nations, because Ivanka Trump looked really cold there for some reason.

It isn’t just the angle, either.

Man, now I know why all those loser conservatives are always going on about Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. Ivanka’s politics are so bad but that booty is so good.

I’m torn here for a number of reasons, not least of which I’ve never had a fight with a woman’s father over which one of us gets to sleep with her. It just feels unseemly.

She also posted some of these to her Twitter feed herself.

how the hell long was she walking around all nipped out?

Luckily for her, those rock-hard nipples distracted people from whatever the fuck was going on with her skirt.

Seriously, what is that? Why are there flower stems hanging below her skirt? The Trumps are super rich, right? They can afford clothes that don’t have plants hanging off of them.

And of course, the internet theory that there’s a Donald Trump tweet for everything proved to be right once again.

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Lenny Kravitz Tweeted for Help in Finding His Sunglasses

Lenny Kravitz can have anything in the world, but he can’t have his pair of beloved sunglasses.

Kravitz went on Twitter and asked the universe to return them.

I’m missing this pair of sunglasses after my show in LA at the Shrine this weekend. They are incredibly sentimental to me, they are vintage and they belonged to a family member. Hoping to get them back, no questions asked. Any information please email [email protected]

He still had them at the VMAs a month ago.

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Last night in Newark @mtv @vmas

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Should’ve hashtagged it #lennysglasses. No one’s returning these. Just tweeting that out drove up their collectible value.

On the other hand, Kravitz made his penis disappear from the internet, so he might be able to do anything.

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Jenny McCarthy’s Red Carpet Emmys Interview Made Celebs Cringe

Even celebrities, used to faking pleasantries with each other, can’t fake it with Jenny McCarthy.

McCarthy last night hosted Fox’s pre-Emmys red carpet coverage. Do you know anything about Jenny McCarthy? Ok, then you can figure out how this ended up.

It wasn’t great when she went gushed about watching Christina Applegate while growing up and telling Applegate she much she wanted to be her when she was older. Except that McCarthy is one year older than Applegate, sooo…the math doesn’t work.

Also, she congratulated Applegate on her first Emmys nomination. Very nice of McCarthy to say that only if Applegate hadn’t been nominated four times before, twice for Samantha Who?, which Applegate graciously tells McCarthy.

McCarthy ended her interview by calling Applegate “sweetheart”. Applegate looks like she wanted to disappear right then and there.

Gwyneth Paltrow couldn’t escape McCarthy’s annoying interview either. That WTF? look that Paltrow gives at the end of McCarthy’s scattershot interview says it all.

Never thought I’d want to see Ryan Seacrest anywhere, but can we plug him in here next year?

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Mr. 1+1 Not Equal to 2, Terrence Howard, Transcended at the Emmy Awards

Terrence Howard attended the Emmys with his ex-wife who he divorced back in 2015 and who he now owes $1.3 million to. There, he proceeded to say some really fucking weird shit on the red carpet.

Howard first said he’s leaving acting after Empire finishes.

“I’ve been playing pretend for forever. [There’s] no need to play pretend anymore,” Howard said, explaining that he wants to leave in order “to get to what I’m supposed to be. You know? It’s a good thing.” He added, “I’ve done my time.”

Hey, that sounds pretty normal. Well, it was until his mind slipped from reality.

“I spent 37 years pretending to be people so people can pretend to watch and enjoy what I’m doing when I’ve actually made some discoveries in my own personal life with science that Pythagoras was searching for,” began his eyebrow-raising rant.

“I was able to open up the flower of life properly and find the real wave conjugations that we’ve been looking for for 10,000 years. So… why would I continue, ya know.. walking on water for tips… when I’ve got an entire generation to teach a whole new world to?” he argued.

So will Mr. Baby Wipes be sharing his newfound enlightenment with the world? Why, of course he will. Why wouldn’t he?

“I’m going to be sharing that on Tuesday when I receive my star. I’m going to be able to prove that gravity is only an effect and not a force. I’m putting something on YouTube where I will build the planet Saturn without gravity and build the Milky Way galaxy without gravity,” he detailed.

I’d like to think his kind of crazy all started when one of his friends made a really obvious joke but didn’t realize how gullible Terrence Howard is and now Howard is deep into some dark web conspiracy theory physics that some schizophrenic published. The only difference between Terrence Howard and that homeless guy you pass by every morning is $5 million in the bank and a resemblance to Cuba Gooding Jr.

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T.J. Miller is Now Available for Birthday Parties

T.J. Miller might be one of the most talented comedic actors of his generation. The problem is he’s a terror to work with, which is sometimes a worthwhile trade-off. Of course, if he was a woman he could have gotten this same reputation by not fucking Harvey Weinstein.

Miller was cancelled for an incident that was either Miller getting rough with a woman during sex like twenty years ago or a woman wanting T.J. Miller’s dick so bad she’s still after it 20 years later, depending on who you ask. I’m honestly sure which one of those things is more unlikely to be entirely honest.

Miller’s cancellation didn’t last, though, and he’s out doing stand-up. Page Six reports it’s going so well he’s even broken into the lucrative field of being a birthday entertainer.

When a patron approached Miller to say he was having a big birthday bash in a private room and wondered whether the comic would pose for a pic, Miller asked Gurian: “Do you think I should go for eight?”

Miller then quickly interviewed guests of the birthday boy, and “T.J. — who is a master at improv — took that material and went up and did a completely improvised set about the guy and blew everyone away,” Gurian marveled. “Especially the birthday boy himself could not believe that T.J. Miller was performing at his party.”

Okay, I was kind of being shitty and Miller just did something nice for a guy at random after doing seven other sets that night.

And Miller does an insane amount of work when he does stand-up, saying he can do upwards of 10 10-12 minute sets at different venues in a single night. He was in a Spielberg movie. I mean, not a good one, but the kid from AI isn’t running around hitting comedy clubs either. He’s too busy not getting kicked off of Silicon Valley.

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Do You Know Who Lacy Evans Is?

Because I sure as hell don’t.

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