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The Real Reason Prince Harry and Meghan Markle Left the Royal Family: Oprah Told Them To

People are really up in arms about Prince Harry and his wife Meghan, Duchess of Sussex stepping back from their duties as members of the Royal Family. The British press just really seems to hate Her Royal Highness the Duchess of Sussex for some reason. I just can’t put my finger on it. What is it about her specifically that people like Katie Hopkins don’t like about her? We may never know.

But now, thanks to Page Six, we know why they decided to leave, even though it pissed off all those people who don’t like something about Her Royal Highness for some reason that’s probably not anything important that we shouldn’t question. The reason is that Oprah told them to.

A source said, “Oprah was the first person to talk to Harry and Meghan about breaking free and doing their own thing, building on their own brand. She made them realize it was really possible.” A rep for Oprah declined to comment.

I have really enjoyed the past few days of Royal Family discourse, honestly. No one can quite explain what is happening, they just know they don’t like it and that it must be Meghan Markle’s fault because everything was super wonderful at Windsor Palace before she came along. Just ask anyone who has seen The Crown, the Royal Family hasn’t been a hotbed of thinly veiled contempt  for four generations now. Everyone was just loving and happy and perfectly content right up until Harry decided to get married. People like Piers Morgan just don’t like the dark energy she’s brought to the country, right? There’s just a black cloud over the country since she’s been around.

If you want the honest answer as to what is really happening here, the British paparazzi killed Harry’s mother and he’s wanted to take a firmer hand with them and his father and grandparents, who didn’t even like his mother, don’t think that would be proper and Harry has finally had enough and is moving to Canada where the paparazzi will buy you donuts and won’t wait around outside your hoose. That’s the big reveal. It makes a lot of sense if you think about it for even a few seconds.

The post The Real Reason Prince Harry and Meghan Markle Left the Royal Family: Oprah Told Them To appeared first on The Blemish.

Please God, Tell Oprah Not to Run for President

There’s a subtle trait about how Donald Trump acts as president that you might not have noticed, but once you do you’ll never be able to stop noticing it. He doesn’t actually know what the fuck he’s doing, so he just does whatever the last person he talked to says. He also believes whatever he’s told by the last person he talks to because he has no foundation of international politics or science. There’s a reason why electing an outsider with no political experience is a bad idea, even if that person is intelligent and charismatic.

So I’m worried when I hear rumors of Oprah running for president, especially when that idea is accompanied by individuals offering to raise billions of dollars for her candidacy. This isn’t hyperbole, this is what Oprah told People in an interview appearing in their latest issue. And you can be damn sure that anyone who spends a billion dollars getting someone elected president is going to expect something in return. I’m not sure I want someone who bring Mehmet Oz on her television show to talk about the healing power of crystals or whatever to have that kind of power and be influenced by whatever billionaire donors she owes her presidency to.

I thought we had put the idea of Oprah running for president to rest. I was sure that sanity had won out, but now Oprah is saying that she would run if God told her to. Frankly, that guy can’t make up his mind, he’s always rooting for both teams in football games and people have fought massive wars where both sides were doing his will.

Amid calls for her to consider a run for the White House — from fans as well as her closest friends — “I went into prayer,” she tells PEOPLE in the magazine’s new cover story. “ ‘God, if you think I’m supposed to run, you gotta tell me, and it has to be so clear that not even I can miss it.’ And I haven’t gotten that.”

I hope she never does. Oprah is good at a lot of things. She’s a genuinely nice person who has done a lot of good in the world. She’s also an excellent television host, but she didn’t always use her platform responsibly. I don’t think, however, that Oprah has a firm grasp of the geopolitical realities of the Middle East, and I don’t think she has good enough judgement to hire people who will handle the things she doesn’t understand properly, and I base that on her making Dr. Oz famous. Oprah will make the same mistakes Trump is making: hiring the wrong people and following whatever advice they give.

First ‘Wrinkle in Time’ Trailer Brings Glitter and Darkness

Ava DuVernay is a stone cold badass. After making Selma, a hit movie showing the darker side and triumph of Martin Luther King Jr., Disney was desperately trying to sign her onto something. They offered her Marvel projects, but she was like “No, I’m good. I’m going to adapt one of the most beloved children’s books of all time, and feature Oprah drenched in glitter.” And Disney said yes!

The first trailer for A Wrinkle in Time, based on the classic 1963 Madeleine L’Engle novel is trippy as balls, but in a good way. Oprah gets to get her good fairy on, and she looks faaaaabulous. Her hair is towering, and she brings gravitas to silly fantasy lines about encroaching darkness and all while wearing more glitter than you’d find in Kesha’s swimming pool.

Chris Pine is in it too. His face looks 90% less punchable than usual. Maybe he’s just got all sorts of good will after Wonder Woman was such a hit.

The best part is that the movie doesn’t look dark, or muddy, or focus tested by a greedy and cowardly studio. It looks balls-out crazy. It’s got visual style, and flair and costumes for miles. And glitter. Oh so much glitter. Like I said, you’d be foolish to bet against Ava DuVernay, who seems to bend reality to her whims. It looks like this movie will give us a look into what’s inside her brilliantly twisted imagination.

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