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Draya Michele, Lala Kent, and More Strut Their Stuff at 2nd Annual American Influencer Awards

What, precisely, is the criteria for being considered an American Influencer, because judging it based solely on the people who attended the Second Annual American Influencer Awards, the only thing they seem to have in common is I’ve never heard of them. Well, I mean, I recognize some of their names, but none of their face, and I also just assume that Farrah Abraham doesn’t ever turn an invitation to walk the red carpet, even if she doesn’t bother taking the time to properly blend her powder and foundation.

The 2nd Annual American Influencer Awards was a veritable who’s who of who the fuck is that? I couldn’t possibly pick a single one of these ladies out of a lineup and I’m not entirely positive I captioned them all correctly either. I couldn’t tell you what Draya Michele or Lala Kent have had a hand in influencing this year, but I sure am happy to look at them dressed up in sexy outfits.

While I’m sure all of these women have some influence over certain sections of the population, and my having not heard of them doesn’t negate any of that influence, but seriously folks? These people are American Influencers? Or are these just the closest we could wrangle to American Influencers on short notice? Either way, we need to do better as a society.

Photos courtesy of Mega Agency

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Madison Beer’s See-Through Spermicide Prevention At TrevorLIVE

TrevorLive is an event supporting The Trevor Project – which offers suicide prevention services to troubled youths. But there’s nothing troubling about superstar Madison Beer’s fashion choice on the TrevorLive red carpet. She’s killing it in a see-through white dress that accentuates her amazing boobs. Madison Beer is only twenty-years-old but she’s already a red carpet staple, and we love how inventive she gets with showing off what the good Lord blessed her with. Forget suicide prevention. After seeing these tits, I need spermicide prevention. Like Tide to Go STAT. Rite gents? Is this thing on.

Photo Credit: MEGA

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Rooney Mara is Thrilled to Be at ‘Joker’ Premiere, Anywhere Really

Every day is magical and full of excitement for Rooney Mara. I mean, just look at her drinking in the adulation as she walks the red carpet in support of her boyfriend Joaquin Phoenix’s new film Joker. She looks like she’s about to burst from all the overwhelming excitement, and I don’t blame her one bit. This is the eye of the fame hurricane and she looks like she’s drinking in every single solitary minute of it.

Look, I get it, being a celebrity sucks. Stuff like this sucks. It really does. But can’t you just pretend, Rooney Mara? Can’t you at least look like you give a shit about being famous and having photographers clamoring for your photo. Maybe there was an argument with Phoenix in the limo before the premiere. Maybe she got the bad news that her pet turtle, Mr. Sillywiggles, has died.

Who can tell what has Rooney Mara looking so melancholy at the Toronto International Film Festival? She’s clearly come down with a case of the Mondays and it’s terrible. I get that showbusiness is a sham and we’re all vapid for caring so much, but come on Rooney Mara… show me that smile again!

Photos courtesy of Mega Agency

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Kristen Stewart and Some Models Heat Up the ‘Seberg’ Red Carpet

One of the faces of the French New Wave, Jean Seberg was an absolute icon of 60s cinema thanks to her starring role in Jean-Luc Godard’s BreathlessSeberg, a new biopic about the actress starring Kristen Stewart in the title role, made its way to the Venice International Film Festival, where Stewart and several other hotties left the attending paparazzi breathless as well!

Now, if you’re wondering why Kristen Stewart is playing a famous French actress, you should know that Jean Seberg was born in Iowa. She ended up in France after making the second of two films with famed director Otto Preminger, and took the world by storm after her role in Breathless. Stewart is a dead ringer for the late actress—who took her own life in 1979—so it makes sense that she should land this prestigious role.

I’m also glad that Stewart brought along both Barbara Palvin and Sara Sampaio for this red carpet premiere. These hot ladies only added to the prestige of the picture and the whole event, adding some sex appeal that would’ve made Jean Seberg proud. It looks like it was an affair to remember and definitely has me excited for this biopic whenever it makes its way to American theaters.

Photos courtesy of Mega Agency

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Ruby Modine, Rebecca Romijn, and Busty Horror Babes at Premiere of Fangoria’s ‘Satanic Panic’

If you were around in the 80s, you might remember the Satanic Panic that gripped suburbia with fear during the Reagan Administration, as people had a completely irrational fear that Satan worshippers were going to ritualistically murder them out in the woods, or something. Well, there’s a new movie with that title that’s got a smorgasbord of hot babes in it, many of whom strutted their stuff at the film’s red carpet premiere.

Ruby Modine makes a big impression with her leggy look, showing off lots of leg when she stands in certain poses, and plenty of smolder when she doesn’t. Hayley Griffith is someone I’d never heard of before this morning, but I’m happy to know her now and very happy to know that she’s got some great cleavage and knows how to rock it on the red carpet. That’s how you get people’s attention, starlets, take note.

Rebecca Romijn was also steaming up the red carpet with plenty of sex appeal, even though she showed substantially less skin than her co-stars. Even still, it’s tough to one up an all-time beauty like Rebecca Romijn. These ladies have put the fear of satan in my pants, that’s for sure! Time to embrace the dark side, if you catch my drift.

Photos courtesy of Mega Agency

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Bai Ling, Donna D’Errico, and More at Some Red Carpet Premiere (Now with Bonus Brent Spiner)

There’s a new movie coming out in select theaters this weekend titled Low Low, so the film had its red carpet premiere in Hollywood last night and let me be the first to tell you that the stars were out in Hollywood. If you’re unsure about whether or not to see this flick, allow the film’s official synopsis to help you make that decision…

On their last day of summer, four high-school girls confront sex, violence and their uncertain future as they struggle to reconcile a rebellious youth with impending adulthood.

Bai Ling brought her crazy ass self to the premiere, though as far as I can tell, she had nothing to do with its creation or production. Maybe she’s just a big fan. Also on hand with no tangential relationship to the film was Baywatch‘s Donna D’Errico.

Five of the film’s stars were there, though, and they were looking mighty sexy on the red carpet, starting with Layla Louise, followed by Montana Roesch, then Alexis Raich, Ali Richey, and finally Caylee Cowan.

Also in the mix was Star Trek legend Brent Spiner, who also has no discernible reason for being there, other than he must like movies about horny teens.

Photos courtesy of Mega Agency

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Zendaya, Marisa Tomei, and More Heat Up the ‘Spider-Man: Far From Home’ Premiere

We’re less than a week away from the release of Spider-Man: Far From Home, but with the premiere having been held the other night and the film already released in China, it’s going to be tough avoiding spoilers for the next five days. Thankfully the film’s premiere is the one Spider-Man: Far From Home related piece of ephemera doesn’t need to be marked with a spoiler warning, unless you consider the fact that most of the women in attendance were hot, in which case, spoiler alert.

Zendaya is shaking up the Marvel Universe as the first non-white live action MJ, and she’s also shaking things up with this backless number she’s wearing. Marisa Tomei is easily the most shaggable Aunt May we’ve ever had and she’s an incredibly gorgeous woman, but this dress looks like she got spun around in one of those cotton candy drums.

Far From Home co-stars Cobie Smulders and Angourie Rice were definitely looking cute in their outfits, and thus marks the end of the “stars of the film” portion of the red carpet. Emma Fuhrmann played the older Cassie Lang in Endgame, and was looking great on the red carpet.

Finally we have Alisha Marie, who is one of them there YouTube celebrities. I still can’t believe that’s a thing, but there you have it. Spider-Man: Far From Home webs its way into theaters on July 2.

Photos courtesy of Mega Agency

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Chloe Sevigny and a Puffed Up Selena Gomez Hit the Red Carpet

Director Jim Jarmusch’s latest film is the zombie horror/comedy The Dead Don’t Die, and the premiere brought out two of the film’s hottest stars: Chloë Sevigny and Selena Gomez. There’s something strange happening with Selena Gomez, as she looks like she was stung by a whole bunch of bees just before attending the premiere. I’ve never seen her look so puffy before.

It has recently come to my attention that Chloë Sevigny is 44 years old, and I must say that she looks damn fine for someone turning 45 later this year. Selena Gomez, on the other hand, is 26 years old and looks like she had allergic reaction to some shellfish. She looks artificially inflated and it’s quite disturbing.

I hope Chloë or Bill Murray or Adam Driver or one of Selena’s co-stars had an epi-pen with them, because Selena looks like she needs to be consulting an allergist, not sitting down to watch a quirky horror/comedy. I sincerely hope Selena got the medical attention she needed because it’s clear something didn’t agree with her. Maybe she’s allergic to film premieres or maybe some hucked a beehive into her limo. Either way, she needs to see someone about this soon.

Photos courtesy of Mega Agency

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Jennifer Lawrence Leads All Hotties at the ‘X-Men: Dark Phoenix’ Premiere

Jennifer Lawrence is thrilled to be done with the X-Men franchise, as you can tell from the look on her face at the premiere of the latest X-Men movie, Dark Phoenix. All of the ladies from the film were looking hot on the red carpet, but there seems to be an extra spring in Jennifer Lawrence’s step as she comes to realization that she never has to walk another red carpet for another X-Men film ever again.

Sophie Turner and Jessica Chastain were also looking on point, though they’re clearly less excited about the franchise wrapping up. After all, they basically both just signed up for this, so they’re not quite over it the way Jennifer Lawrence is. She’s done and you can tell she’s thrilled about that fact. Sophie and Jessica seem more wistful about the whole ordeal.

Anyway, you take a look and decide which of these hotties is happy that the X-Men as we know them will never be the same after this film. It’s not difficult to tell the two sides apart, though I doubt we’ll see Jennifer Lawrence this happy ever again, as she sends yet another franchise to its grave.

Photos courtesy of Mega Agency

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People Are Yet Again Freaking Out Over Jennifer Lopez’s Ageless Ripped Bod

 

Legendary songstress Jennifer Lopez is ripped af, and she makes sure that her bold fashion choices flaunt all of her hard work at the gym. Case in point – this orange number that she wore to Monday night’s CFDA Fashion Awards. Her outfit was the runaway, and runway, success of the evening, and its viral popularity might have something to do with the fact that it affords us a look at Lopez’s ageless and sexy abs. And that it accentuates her perfect perky breasts.

Lopez was on hand to accept the Fashion Icon Award thanks to her decades of hotness. Remember the green dress she wore to the 2000 Grammy Awards? Ya, you remember. During her acceptance speech at last night’s awards ceremony she acknowledged how far the fashion industry has come in accepting curvy women:

Sitting in the design rooms of Oscar de la Renta, Versace, Dolce and Gabbana, Gucci and so many of you guys here tonight, people who designed and allowed me to get into their designs (with) curves like me. To say I was like a kid in a candy store was an understatement. And slowly, as curves began to be embraced, the girl who wanted to combine street style with couture began to blossom, and I’m grateful to all of you for that.

Where’s our acknowledgment? We’ve been accepting of women with big tits and asses for years. #EffYourBeautyStandards

Photo Credit: MEGA

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Emily Ratajkowski’s Videos Are The Hottest Thing From The Met Gala, Period

 

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Fittings @dundasworld

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Don’t tell anyone, but until the Met Gala theme is “Niche Unwatchable Porn” I doubt I’m ever going to be interested in the star-studded event. This year the theme was “Camp” and pretty much every thirst bucket in the biz thirsted it up even more than usual. The one woman who most of us would watch do pretty much anything, Emily Ratajkowski, actually made the night somewhat interesting when she showed up in a sexy Cher-inspired outfit that did a damn good job of showing off her impossibly toned stomach and huge natural boobs. Even better, she posted two Instagram videos of her outfit. I don’t know about Camp, but I’m certainly pitching a tent. Rite gents?

 

 

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Full circle Cher moment

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Photo Credit: Getty Images

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Taylor Swift E-lez-abethan Showstopper At Billboard Music Awards

No alleged lesbian knows how to allegedly work an alleged red carpet better than Taylor Swift, who stepped out for the 2019 Billboard Music Awards looking like Shakesphere’s toilet paper cozy. Excuse me Shakesphere’s sexy toilet paper cozy. Swift always knows how to ruffle… feathers, and while in front of the cameras flaunted her best asset – the gams that allegedly keep Hollywood starlets like Cara Delevingne and Karlie Kloss at her alleged beckon lesbian call. Allegedly.

Swift was nominated for, but didn’t win, two awards at the Las Vegas bash – Top Female Artist (which went to Ariana Grande) and Top Touring Artist (Which went to Ed Sheeran) – but when it comes to Taylor Swift dressed as Babette the duster from Beauty and the Beast, aren’t we all winners? Lesbian? Allegedly?

Photo Credit: MEGA

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Brittany Snow, Kara Del Toro, and More Heat Up the Netflix Red Carpet

In case you were under the impression that Netflix wasn’t positively drowning in new content, allow me to introduce the creators and stars of the new Netflix Original Comedy Film Someone Great, starring Gina Rodriguez and Brittany Snow. They were just two of the stars in attendance at the film’s premiere—it’s streaming on the service as of today—and if the red carpet festivities are any indication, it’s gonna have more sexy women per square foot than any other movie premiering on Netflix today.

Kicking off our gallery is the smoking hot Kara Del Toro, who isn’t in the film, but who adds some much needed smolder to the red carpet premiere. Up next is the gorgeous Brittany Snow, who was showing plenty of cleavage and rocking a flowery jumper. She’s Gotta Have It star DeWanda Wise was also looking smoking hot, with her pink headband adding an appropriate splash of color.

Gina Rodriguez was making the most of her dress’ long train, and she made it work as best she could—seriously ladies, the trains are getting out of control. Also on hand were such luminaries of the hottie world as Katherine McNamara, Sugar Lyn Beard, and Yara Martinez!

Photos courtesy of Getty Images

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Olivia Wilde Adds Some Sex Appeal to Premiere of Her Directorial Debut ‘Booksmart’

One of the best things to come out of the MeToo movement has been the number of female directors that have been able to get their films made. Olivia Wilde is the latest gorgeous actress to move behind the camera with her directorial debut Booksmart looking like a girls version of Superbad—even stranger considering one of the female leads is Jonah Hill’s sister Beanie Feldstein.

Olivia and her two stars, Feldstein and Kaitlyn Dever, were looking good at the film’s premiere, showing off their thousand watt smiles and getting us giddy to see what big laughs they have in store for us with this new film. Can I also say that Kaitlyn Dever is turning into quite an incredible actress. Sure she was always fine on Last Man Standing, but seeing her come into her own over the last few years in flicks like Short Term 12, Detroit, and Beautiful Boy has given me a much better appreciation for her talents.

I’m very much looking forward to seeing Olivia’s directorial debut, and I’m also looking forward to her getting back in front of the camera again sometime soon. If she wants to go nude, that’s great, but it’s always a treat to see her. Clothed or otherwise.

Photos courtesy of MEGA

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Sophie Turner, Emilia Clarke, and the Stars of ‘Game of Thrones’ Sex Up NYC Premiere

One week from Sunday, the television event of the new millennium commences, aka the final season of Game of Thrones! The stars of the show, past and present, turned up for the NYC premiere earlier this week and they made the red carpet every bit as sexy as the show itself!

Kicking things off is Khaleesi herself, Emilia Clarke, who was sporting some blood red lips and a sexy, smoky blue dress. Natalie Dormer was also there, despite being killed off a few seasons ago, and she was looking absolutely ravishing!

Both Nathalie Emmanuel and Rose Leslie looked resplendent in flowing red dresses that didn’t skimp on the cleavage! And speaking of flowing, Gwendoline Christie was absolute billowy perfection in a fiery and flowery dress!

Carice van Houten and Hannah Murray looked brilliant in white and yellow, respectively, but the star of the show had to be Sophie Turner and her cleavage baring black and silver dress! She also towered over her on-screen sister Maisie Williams as well as her own husband, one of the Jonas Brothers.

Sunday April 14th can’t get here fast enough, and with rumors already swirling about nudity in the season premiere, it might just feel like Game of Thrones never left.

Photos courtesy of MEGA

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Tessa Thompson, Aisha Tyler, and More Bring Plenty of Sex Appeal to Movie Premiere

The new drama Little Woods sounds like a harrowing account of life in modern America, but the film’s premiere was jam packed with some sexy stars strutting their stuff on the red carpet! The film’s star Tessa Thompson led the pack looking beautiful in bronze and radiating across the carpet.

Writer and director Nia DaCosta was also looking fabulous in a gold and orange dress that’s perfect for spring. Logan Browning rocked a little black dress and looked absolutely brilliant doing so. Her eyes are so beautiful and captivating, I could spend all day getting lost in them.

Trace Lysette may not be every man’s cup of tea, but this transgendered beauty brings plenty of smolder to the red carpet, and is showing some pretty impressive cleavage if you ask me. Finally, though she didn’t dress sexy, I can’t help but worship at the altar of Aisha Tyler. She is one of the sexiest women alive and I love seeing her out and about, whether on the red carpet or on the radio, she is one of my favorite people on planet earth.

It’s a shame Thompson’s Little Woods co-star Lily James wasn’t there as well, but I think these ladies made for one hell of a sexy night without her.

Photos courtesy of Getty Images

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Taraji P Henson Proud of Her Pumped Up Cleavage For “What Men Want”

 

 

 

 

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Fiji Water Girl Kelleth Cuthbert Gets In Shape After Landing A Role In CBS Soap ‘The Bold and the Beautiful’

I have never understood why bottled water needs the added sex appeal of a model in order to sell product. Water is already pretty damn sexy. I mean, it’s like one of three things in the world that we all need to live. I’m getting a stiffy just thinking about it, and I’m not even sure what the other two are.

And aren’t our bodies mostly water, as well? That means any schmo walking down the street could hypothetically become the mascot for a water company. I know the physical demands of such a job could be pretty unbearable, though. I am sure there would be a clause in the contract that demands you always stay well hydrated, which would mean your days of abusing alcohol would have to come to an end.

Think of the controversy that would follow if Kelleth Cuthbert was caught in a club with a Jack and Coke in her hand! The press would have a field day. It would be worse than that time Tom Cruise was caught not wearing Ray-Bans. That almost ruined his career, I can only imagine what it would do to a bottled water mascot.

 

 

Photo Credit: Splash News 

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Meet The Model Behind The Meme, Kellen Cuthbert and Her Golden Globes FIJI Stunt

There was one lady that everyone was talking about after the Golden Globes, and no, it wasn’t Jamie Lee Curtis looking like she was auditioning to star as the villain in a dystopian YA movie…

No, it was Kellen Cuthbert, aka the Fiji Water girl who happily photobombed celebrities throughout the evening while offering up some delicious Fiji Water to slake their red carpet thirst.

Kellen is quite the hottie and managed to upstage such beauties as Amy Adams, Emmy Rossum, Lili Reinhart, Kristin Cavallari, Kaley Cuoco, Heidi Klum, Alyssa Milano, and yes, even the aforementioned Jamie Lee Curtis, who was apparently none too happy that Kellen upstaged her Activia eating ass.

I definitely like anyone that takes pleasure in their work, and Kellen is clearly someone who relishes stealing the spotlight from celebrities. Good on her, those dusty old hags have gotten enough publicity already. Make way for some new blood, and also quench your Golden Globes sized thirst with a cool, refreshing Fiji Water.

Photo Credit: Getty Images / MEGA / Backgrid USA 

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Lady Gaga, Olivia Wilde, Maggie Gyllenhaal and All The Sexiest Stars From The National Board of Review Red Carpet

Perhaps the best thing about awards season is the constant parade of hot celebs strutting their stuff on the red carpets in an increasingly revealing series of gowns, because lord knows it’s not the endless fawning over mediocrities like Green Book and Bohemian Rhapsody. The National Board of Review handed out their previously announced awards last night, and you’d better believe the stars were out!

Kicking things off is Best Actress winner Lady Gaga, who kept things relatively simple in a black number that was much more contained than her expansive Golden Globes gown. Maggie Gyllenhaal was there as well!

Olivia Wilde had a very colorful dress on that was every bit as beautiful as she is, and would you look at that, Maggie Gyllenhaal was there as well. Sophia Bush was resplendent in red, while Constance Wu’s plunging neckline was downright drool-worthy. Gemma Chan wore a flowery dress, and yes, indeed, Maggie Gyllenhaal was there as well. I kid Maggie, she’s great, I love her and want her inside me.

What an event, what a night to remember, what a time to be alive, and what were we just talking about? These are the things I’ll remember about this year’s National Board of Review awards.

Photo Credit: Backgrid USA / MEGA / Getty Images 

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Adult Star Sarah Jessie’s Red Carpet Birthday Body In The Most Revealing Outfit

I don’t know if any of you have noticed, but there’s this new trend of giving gift bags at birthday parties. I don’t get it. Birthdays are not about other people, they are about celebrating the person who was born on that day. We should get them gifts and be happy with it. At least when it came to Sarah Jessie’s birthday her only gift to everyone was her sexy outfit.

If you are going to give the gift of Sarah Jessie’s sexy body, then that’s fine. That’s not something you could stuff into a bag along with your favorite gum and pen. Well, I guess you could put a DVD of Sarah Jessie in a bag. Okay, you can do that. You can give out bags of Sarah Jessie’s DVDs. That’s acceptable. But you don’t have too, if you don’t want. Though, I don’t know why anyone would want to deny other people the joy of seeing Sarah Jessie nude. Seeing Sarah Jessie being sexy is enough, really, but when she’s nude… that’s a whole other story. Yeah, it’s pretty great. It really is a gift that keeps on giving.

Since I’m sure Sarah Jessie couldn’t wear her birthday suit out to her party, she wore the next best thing; a barely there outfit. Sarah Jessie’s sexiness is the best party gift any of us will ever get.

 

Photo Credit: Backgrid USA 

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Amber Heard, Nicole Kidman, Lisa Bonet, Tana Mongeau and All The Ladies From ‘Aquaman’ Sharing One Sexy Red Carpet

The French love to say, “Mon dieu!” but I’m gonna start saying, “Mongeau!” because the gorgeous Tana Mongeau stole the show at last night’s red carpet premiere for Aquaman. There were plenty of hotties there as well, a veritable cornucopia of babealiciousness!

Amber Heard kicks off our gallery with a comic inspired looks that nicely shows off some skin via peek-a-boo sections of the dress! Lisa Bonet was looking hot and ageless and, being married to leading man Jason Momoa, quite spoken for unfortunately. I’m not gonna fight that dude for her honor, I’d be dead in four seconds.

Nicole Kidman’s look is straight off the barrier reef, and Skylar Grey is showing plenty of nip in a sheer gown and braless combo that’ll drive you insane! Tana Mongeau, however, is looking very strange. It’s the look of the night because it’s sexy and totally tone deaf to the occasion. Amber Heard and Nicole Kidman look like they swam to the premiere and this chick looks like she’s going to a Meat Loaf concert.

Who won the red carpet in your estimation? Skylar Grey and her nips? Lisa Bonet? Amber Heard? Anyone that’s not named Tana Mongeau? Sound off in the usual place.

Photo Credit: Backgrid USA 

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Amy Adams Wins The Cleavage Contest At The ‘Vice’ Red Carpet Premiere

We all know that Amy Adams has some of the best cleavage in Hollywood. There’s an entire documentary film devoted to proving this concept titled American Hustle and you should see it sometime if you want to see primo Amy Adams cleavage. Amy wore a very American Hustle inspired red dress to the premiere of Vice, and it was a show stopper once again!

While Amy is starring in the film, there was a wide assortment of hot women on the red carpet not associated with the film, but very happy to get to see it two weeks before the rest of us—lucky so-and-so’s. Kicking things off is Blanca Blanco, who looks thrilled to be seeing the movie I most want to see this year two weeks before I get to see it.

Redhead cutie Alison Pill was also there, though she’s in the movie playing Dick Cheney’s lesbian daughter. Kuoth Wiel was also in attendance, and she was looking gorgeous in gold, showing off an appropriate amount of cleavage for the occasion. Closing things out are Lily Rabe, who’s also in the movie, and Danielle Vasinova, on whom I’m told you may “blame it.”

So yeah, I’m angry that these ladies got to see the movie before I did, but I’m thrilled that they’re all hot. Makes everything go down just a little smoother.

Photo Credit: Splash News 

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Margot Robbie Dynamite Body And The ‘Mary Queen of Scots’ Hotties In London

It seems like mere days ago—spoiler alert, it was six to be exact—that we were going gaga over the ladies of Mary, Queen of Scots at the film’s premiere. Being a worldly film, it only makes sense that they’d have an international premiere in a worldly city like London, which is exactly what happened.

Margot Robbie once again leads the charge, looking absolutely amazing as she always does. It’s part of what makes her one of the most incredible people on the planet. Her co-stars are no slouches, though, and they brought plenty of wattage to this high power premiere!

Gemma Chan is looking gorgeous in a cleavage baring dress, as is Eileen O’Higgins, who looks cute as a button on the red carpet! Then of course there’s Margot’s main co-star Saoirse Ronan, who always looks like she’s attending tea with the queen immediately after the screening.

Margot wins this one again, hands down, no contest. It’s almost getting ridiculous at this point, she’s going to have to start appearing in movies with supermodels for them to hope to compete with her on the film’s red carpet premiere.

[Margot Robbie’s Hottest Stories Right Over Here]

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Courtney Stodden’s Red Hot Red Carpet Cleavage

Courtney Stodden in a hot red dress is giving me red hot Jessica Rabbit vibes. And I am enjoying every minute of the experience. It almost makes me wish I could transform into a talking cartoon rabbit just to get her attention. But since that is impossible, I will ponder on another scheme that will result in her paying attention to me. I‘m just hoping that I would be able to ask her for tips on getting attention. She sure seems to know the secret because she has all of mine. I just can’t see myself squeezing into a dress so I’ll have to think of something else.

Stodden couldn’t be more stunning if she wanted to be. She’s obviously aware that red is for royalty and she’s about as royal as they come. It would be my honor to do her bidding and call her queen. Every wish would be my command. I’d loyally protect her from paparazzi attacks as well because a woman like her should take pictures when she wants. And when other people take them without asking, Courtney should be paid appropriately for them. Perfection isn’t cheap.

[Courtney Stodden’s Hottest Stories Right Over Here]

Photo Credit: Backgrid USA 

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2018 Jingle Ball Hosts Every Red Hot Young Celeb Singer On One Amazing Red Carpet

What better way to jingle your balls this evening than by checking out all of the hottest young artists in the world at this year’s Jingle Ball. Apparently this is the hottest, most contractually obligated event of the year, and we’ve got lots of digging through hotties to get to…

First up is Rita Ora, looking perfect in pink and black, a look that suits her just beautifully. Ashley Tisdale shows a little leg where her boots and dress fail to meet, which is something for you thigh guys out there!

I have no idea who Zara Larsson is, but she looks kinda like Emily Browning, which is a green light in my book! Meghan Trainor came out of self-imposed exile to show lots of cleavage, which is always welcome. Madison Beer was there as well, though her camo outfit made it hard to pick her out amongst the various greenery on display.

Bebe Rexha wore a bathrobe, which is sexy, while Dua Lipa barely keeps her boobs inside this ice-skater-number she’s got on. Wonder what the Norwegian judge will give her. There’s a whole other set of pics from a whole other red carpet event here as well, so make sure to check out all this hotness. Just be careful you don’t melt!

Photo Credit: Splash News / MEGA

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Ariel Winter’s Busty Red Carpet Cleavage Dazzles and Delights

There are some things in this world that I simply don’t understand. I’m not talking about things like how airplanes work, computer phones, and other feats of technology. What I’m saying is nature, how things in the world work, that’s I have trouble wrapping my head around. Like Ariel Winter’s cleavage, how that even possible.

Don’t tell me “big boobs”. I’ve been people with big boobs who have terrible cleavage. Ariel Winter does not have terrible cleavage. She has some pretty great cleavage and it almost defies logic. I can’t make heads or tails of it. I sit in awe of Ariel Winter’s cleavage every single time I see. I don’t know how she can constantly make her cleavage look as if I’ve never seen cleavage before. I’ve seen cleavage! I’ve seen lots of cleavage! But once again Ariel Winter and a tight dress is making me dumbfounded. I don’t get it and I probably never will. I should learn how to live with not knowing the answers, but if I accept that I don’t know does that mean Ariel Winter’s cleavage will look different?

I can’t take that chance, none of us should. If you are like me and Ariel Winter’s cleavage is one of the wonders of the world to you, then keep wondering. Keep pondering Ariel Winter’s cleavage, keep staring at for hours on end, and try your damnedest to figure what makes Ariel Winter’s cleavage drive us all so crazy.

 

[Ariel Winter’s Hottest Celeb Stories Right Here]

Photo Credit: MEGA 

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Pamela Anderson Hard Nipple Pokies On The Red Carpet

With all of the boob augmenting that has gone on over the years I am surprised I haven’t heard anything about a procedure to make nips hard all the time.

One of the prime reasons for getting a boob job is to get more eye traffic going that way, and they hope to spur that on by increasing size. But a couple of hard nips are an easy way to get looks as well. If a doc made it possible to keep nips hard regardless of the temp then I feel like that would be a cost effective way to achieve that outcome.

I guess all the money in the research and development side of making things hard has been funneled into erectile dysfunction remedies. This is one case where I am not upset about dicks taking precedent over boobs.

Besides, a couple of nipple piercings can do just as well at simulating hardness, and they are a lot cheaper than any surgery. Any drunk girl with a safety pin can perform that operation, you just need to make sure some of that alcohol gets used towards sanitizing everything.

 

[Pam Anderson’s Hottest Stories Right Over Here]

Photo Credit: Splash News / Backgrid USA / MEGA / Getty Images 

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Gigi Hadid, Halle Berry, And All The Italian Models From The 2019 Pirelli Calendar

It’s funny to think that in the year 2019, we’re still excited about a tire calendar. Calendars have more or less fallen by the wayside in the last few years, but the Pirelli Calendar just keeps cranking them out, and this year’s assortment features some major league hotties.

Kicking things off is Gigi Hadid, who looks stunning in an Old Hollywood style frilly dress. Margareth Made is up next, looking red hot in a red dress that might just scorch you if you’re not careful! Ballerina Misty Copeland is looking peek-a-beautiful in a peek-a-boo dress. See what I did there? Yes, being clever is working out nicely for me, thanks for asking.

Isabeli Fontana shimmers in silver, making her look like a sparkling sprite, and then we finally get some Halle Berry going on in our lives. She’s definitely got some voodoo shit going because she looks amazing year after year. It would be depressing if it weren’t so god damned hot!

There’s also some bonus hotness from Laetitia Casta, who always brings the best blend of beauty to any event. It was one to remember and one that might make me call my local tire outlet to purchase a calendar!

Photo Credit: Backgrid USA 

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Margot Robbie And The Celeb Hotties On The ‘Mary Queen of Scots’ Red Carpet

Everyone’s getting pumped for the cinematic event of this year’s Oscar season: Mary Queen of Scots, bringing with it a glorious showdown between certified hotties Margot Robbie and Saoirse Ronan. The film’s premiere was held last night and it was a veritable who’s who of hotties in Hollywood.

Kicking things off, of course, is star Margot Robbie, who was looking stunning in a shimmery gown. Next up is Claire Danes, who’s not involved in the film as far as I can tell, but it’s nice to see her showing up and showing off some cleavage.

Margot’s co-star, fellow Oscar nominee Saoirse Ronan, was looking incredible in a low cut dress with a frilly collar. She looks like one of those lizards. Also not in the film is AnnaSophia Robb, who was looking far too dressed up for the occasion. She looks like she’s going to a Shaft cosplay party after the premiere. Sara Sampaio was also there and way too dressed up. Come on ladies, let loose, it’s a movie premiere. Let your hair down and your cleavage out!

Anyway, I’m not going to see this movie, and you’re probably not either, so let’s just keep looking at these pictures and pretending we saw the movie. Sounds like a plan to me.

Photo Credit: Backgrid USA 

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