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Carmen Valentina Flaunts Her Sandy Cheeks In Sextastic Beachside Candids

I do not know where Carmen Valentina gets the entitlement to think that she can where a bathing suit like that in a public and not be harassed, but I blame her parenting. Her father is probably a cop and her mother is likely a grizzly bear. And I’m talking about a little grizzly bear. That combo probably made it so that a teenaged Carmen was able to wear whatever she wanted with no repercussions, so long as her father was on her side and the grizzly was well trained.

I know of certain cultures that have their women wear special braces from childhood in order to elongate their necks. I think something similar happened with Carmen because there is no other rational reason for her waist to be so small in comparison to the rest of her body. She must have been wearing a XXXS corset since she was ten in order to keep that figure.

I would think that undergoing something like that would leave her core weak, but she seems to have no trouble keeping herself upright without assistance. That is more than I can say for myself, and I have never even worn a corset.

 

 

Photo Credit: Backgrid USA 

The post Carmen Valentina Flaunts Her Sandy Cheeks In Sextastic Beachside Candids appeared first on Egotastic - Sexy Celebrity Gossip and Entertainment News.

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Check Out Caprice’s Pushed-Up Giant Cleavage

Caprice has a hell of a tailor, and I hope she knows that. Whoever it is, they deserve a generous Christmas bonus for the spectacular work they are producing. It is not like Caprice is some flat chested lady. The woman has a couple of firm avocados on her, so it isn’t like the tailor can do whatever he wants up front. He has got to form the dress around the existing landscape and not just blast through the mountains like he is laying train tracks in the 19th century.

So being able to get such a form fitting look out of a body as polymorphous as Caprice’s is quite the feat. I have a pretty hard time just wrapping packages at Christmas time, and the presents do not even move or blame you for sticking them with a pin. That is how I knew early on that I was not cut out to be a tailor or a fashion designer. Not that I ever wanted to be one, that only reinforced the decision. Just like when I knew I never wanted to be the assistant to a knife thrower. It really wouldn’t be worth the heartache in my mind.

 

 

Photo Credit: Splash News 

The post Check Out Caprice’s Pushed-Up Giant Cleavage appeared first on Egotastic - Sexy Celebrity Gossip and Entertainment News.

Bieber Ex GF Chantel Jeffries Curvy Bikini Body Is The Hottest Thing You’ll See All Day

I have never drank out of an actual coconut before, and at this point I do not think I ever will. That is a decision that I am making for myself, and not one that someone else is making for me. I am an adult now and can make my own decisions, Mom.

The reason I do not want to drink from one is because the act has been so built up in my mind, I do not think that there is any way the real thing can live up to my own imaginings. Every paradise setting in fiction has a character drinking out of a coconut, making it seem like pure bliss, but I have never experienced that kind of emotion from a drink that did not include exorbitant amounts of alcohol.

I have had coconut milk before, but it was not the pure stuff. It had all sorts of additives, so I am sure it is way better than the real thing. Added sugar always makes things taste better. And what happens to the meat inside the coconut? Does that get thrown away, or do they crack it open and give you a spoon? If they throw it away it seems like a great waste of resources that I cannot be partnered to.

 

[Chantel Jeffries Hottest Stuff Right Over Here]

Photo Credit: MEGA 

The post Bieber Ex GF Chantel Jeffries Curvy Bikini Body Is The Hottest Thing You’ll See All Day appeared first on Egotastic - Sexy Celebrity Gossip and Entertainment News.

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North America’s First Sex Doll Brothel Shut Down Because the Dolls Can’t Give Consent

Guys, I know you were all really excited to have sex with a doll that a bunch of other dudes had sex with before you, but alas, it is not to be for Toronto residents. “The man” decided to ruin everyone’s good time and revoke the lease for the Aura Dolls sex doll brothel based on some obscure law limiting sex retail shops to industrial areas of North York.

I’m not sure how successful these things really would have been. I mean, a lot of people are probably curious. I’m curious about what these things are like, but they costs thousands of dollars and I’m not nearly that curious. I don’t know if I’m curious to have sex with used sex doll, either, though.

But there’s a part of the story that really got my hackles up, and it was that objections to the sex doll brothel were predicated on the complaint that the the dolls weren’t giving consent. You know, because they’re dolls. And I know what you’re thinking, because I was thinking the same thing: no one is stupid enough to complain that a dude is fucking a sex doll without consent. Well, someone is stupid enough.

Brandy Sudyk, who lives in North York, said it’s critical to consider that as a society we appear to endorse the normalization of enabling men to use inanimate objects — created to look much like real women — however they want.

“In the mind of the person using these dolls, one is clearly imagining being with a woman, but not having to consider consent or dignity as an aspect of sexual interaction,” she said.

“How do we know that men who engage in these activities won’t bring this attitude and behaviour into their interactions with real women, who are already objectified and exploited in the sex trade?”

Every time someone says something like this, it gives me a headache. A sex doll is an inanimate object. You don’t need consent to stick your dick in an inanimate object. If you’re going to put it in a person, yeah, you need to make sure they’re okay with it. If you’re going to put it in a coconut or a Fleshlight or a sex doll, you do you, guy. I mean, I don’t really recommend the coconut thing, but you don’t have to ask the coconut for permission to fuck it.

I can’t imagine being the kind of person who hears about a sex doll brothel and their first thought isn’t “who wants to fuck a used sex doll,” but “having sex with a doll is basically rape, if you think about it.” Also, in related news, Siri is a series of algorythms that analyses speech and answers question using a database; it’s not a lady who sits in your phone that you should be saying “please” and “thank you” to.

The post North America’s First Sex Doll Brothel Shut Down Because the Dolls Can’t Give Consent appeared first on The Blemish.

Amber Rose and Lexy Panterra Cleavage Contest At Peppermint Nightclub

If you were to say to me that Lexy Panterra had competition in the cleavage department, I might call you a fool. But if you said that Lexy Panterra and Amber Rose were having a cleavage contest, I’d sit down with you have a very long debate on who had the better cleavage.

This is truly one of the hardest questions we must ask ourselves as people. Cleavage is one of most precious resources and something we all hold dear to our hearts, so debating between two excellent examples of cleavage might seem like a bad idea, but that’s the point of debates. Why spend talking cleavage from someone who isn’t Amber Rose or isn’t Lexy Panterra. If everything was easy then everyone would be the best, thus meaning “the best” is no average. Amber Rose and Lexy Panterra do not have average cleavage. Both of them have stellar cleavage, neither of them need to be graded on a curve. Struggle as we might, we must find the answer to who had the better cleavage.

Lexy Panterra or Amber Rose? Amber Rose or Lexy Panterra? It’s almost as if asking does one like the sun more than the water. Yes, that’s how hard of a question it is. It’s an even harder answer to say Amber Rose has the better cleavage this time around.

[Amber Rose Slutwalk Photos Right Over Here]

Photo Credit: MEGA / Splash News 

The post Amber Rose and Lexy Panterra Cleavage Contest At Peppermint Nightclub appeared first on Egotastic - Sexy Celebrity Gossip and Entertainment News.

Nicole Murphy Keeps It Cool In A Sexy Crop Top

How dare Nicole wrap that shirt around her waist! What is the point in wearing booty shorts if you are just going to go on and hide the booty? She might as well be wearing sweatpants.

What is she even doing with having a long sleeved shirt during a workout? It is summertime. No one needs to worry about keeping their arms warm. I understand the merit in being prepared for any climate, but I think it is safe to assume that there are no worries about getting a chill while you are sure to be sweating.

And look at where her preparedness got her; dragging around an extra item of clothing, ruining everybody’s day. I would have rather never seen her than to see her in this condition. And since I am a spiteful little thing, instead of hiding these photos so that no other man or beast would have to experience them I chose to publish them on the internet so that as many people as possible could have their days ruined by the body of Nicole Murphy. Just look at her locking those curves away. Such a shame.

 

Photo Credit: Splash News / Backgrid USA / MEGA

The post Nicole Murphy Keeps It Cool In A Sexy Crop Top appeared first on Egotastic - Sexy Celebrity Gossip and Entertainment News.

Sophie Turner Braless Candids Show Off At Least One Pierced Nip

I have never understood how a person could stand having only one nipple pierced. I have a hard enough time understanding the desire to have nipples pierced in general, but once I make peace with that idea I don’t get why you would only get one done. My own obsessive desire for symmetry would lead me to get them both done regardless of how much the first one hurt to get done.

One of the worst things I can imagine happening in my life is to find myself in the hands of a Jigsaw-like killer who pierced one of my nipples as a part of some sick game. I would then have to make the decision to pierce the other one or die in a gruesome and overly complicated way. I am not too ashamed to admit that I would struggle to make a decision.

That is why I have such conflicted feelings seeing Sophie Turner strutting around in her t-shirt. If I had a better imagination I could simply pretend that her other nipple is also pierced, and that would be the end of it. But that is not what the evidence before me would have me believe. So I am left hoping for a driveby piercing to conveniently nail Sophie in the crossfire.

 

Photo Credit: MEGA / Splash News 

The post Sophie Turner Braless Candids Show Off At Least One Pierced Nip appeared first on Egotastic – Sexy Celebrity Gossip and Entertainment News.

Italian Model Silvia Caruso Gets Touchy-Feely With Her Girlfriend In Sextastic Beachside Candids

I’d personally like to make my to Italy to thank the entire country for their contributions to this world. Pizza, Pasta, and the giving everyone the ability to enjoy exotic imports like Silvia Caruso. She has a better body than any Lamborghini I’ve seen in magazines. And I’d sure pick her to take out for a spin in the evening over a sports car every time. I’d purposely cut the brake cables when I’m out on the town with a woman who has curves like her. Full speed with my pedal married to the floor, showing her one of the best nights of her life when she’s with me.

I’m glad Silvia is a sharer. She brought another hot babe with her to the beach without anyone asking. I’m a fan of the double trouble. I used to believe the best deal on buy one get one free was on six packs of select beer brands but I like this situation much better. What could be better than warm weather, warm water, and warm smiles from two very welcoming women? It’s a trifecta that’s perfect for having a great time. And if I must have a great time, I prefer to have that great time with Silvia and company.

Photo Credit: MEGA

The post Italian Model Silvia Caruso Gets Touchy-Feely With Her Girlfriend In Sextastic Beachside Candids appeared first on Egotastic - Sexy Celebrity Gossip and Entertainment News.

Who’s Hotter: Bikini Models Elizabeth Turner and Danielle Herrington Turn Heads Partying Together

Take special note of the swimsuit top that Danielle Herrington is wearing. I was once out in a group and there was a girl wearing a similar top. One of her friends then pulled down said top to expose a pierced nipple.

There is nothing more to that story, I only wanted to let more people know that it happened and that it was awesome. I will carry that memory with me until the day I die. My only regret is that I was so drunk by that point in the night I am not sure if I can trust my own memory. That was perhaps the worst time in my life to reach that level of intoxication.

You might think I could just ask the other people who were present to confirm if it happened or not. But the only other people I know for sure would have seen it would be the girl who pulled down the top and the girl who was wearing the top. And if I am wrong, and I only dreamt up the whole incident, then I am in for a very awkward conversation with them. Besides, I am happier believing it to be true.

 

Photo Credit: Backgrid USA

The post Who’s Hotter: Bikini Models Elizabeth Turner and Danielle Herrington Turn Heads Partying Together appeared first on Egotastic - Sexy Celebrity Gossip and Entertainment News.

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British Woman Uses Voodoo to Create Sex Trafficking Ring

Voodoo is a real thing, folks.

Josephine Iyamu was convicted on sex trafficking charges after bringing women from Nigeria to Europe and forcing them to work as prostitutes to repay their debt. She charged the women roughly $44,000 in travel fees.

Iyamu talked her victims into repaying their debts instead of going to the police by forcing to to participate in Voodoo ceremonies.

Prosecutors say the ceremony gave Iyamu psychological control over the women. They were forced to drink blood with worms, eat chicken hearts and cut their skin during the ceremony. Sounds like an episode of Fear Factor gone wrong.

Look, if you are forced to take a blood oath at a voodoo ceremony, that’s bond. You simply can never go back on that. Doing so would be far worse than having sex with random men and women to repay a debt.

Iyamu will face 14 years in prison. If she’s able to finish a plate of pig testicles and drink a gallon of cows blood, she could get her sentence reduced by five years.

The post British Woman Uses Voodoo to Create Sex Trafficking Ring appeared first on The Blemish.

Ugandan President Bans Oral Sex, Says ‘The Mouth is for Eating’

Ugandan president Yoweri Museveni has decided to ban oral sex on the premise of “the mouth is for eating.”

According to the president, “outsiders” are convincing Ugandan’s to perform oral sex and he is out to put a stop to it. Here’s what he told the press (via Daily Mail):

“Let me take this opportunity to warn our people publicly about the wrong practices indulged in and promoted by some of the outsiders.One of them is what they call oral sex. The mouth is for eating, not for sex. We know the address of sex, we know where sex is.”

“The address of sex” is my new favorite term.

For those unfamiliar with Museveni, he signed the Anti-Homosexuality Act in 2014. The act made it illegal to be gay in Uganda. If you are caught having gay sex, you could go to prison for life. He also believes that oral sex can cause worms.

Well, not if you take your worm prevention medicine.

All this man needs is a good blow job and he’ll change the address of sex.

The post Ugandan President Bans Oral Sex, Says ‘The Mouth is for Eating’ appeared first on The Blemish.

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Company’s Dildo App Secretly Recorded Sex Sounds, Users Should Go Back to Battery-Operated Toys

Sex toys have gotten too advanced over the years. There used to be a time when you’d just buy the toy, charge it or replace the batteries, and be satisfied with your purchase. Now, you buy the toy, have to register it through the website, download the app, buy a separate charger, get pissed off when it doesn’t connect with your phone, and by the time you’ve done all that you no longer want to use it.

There’s a sex toy made by Lovense that you can control with your phone. It’s not like the toy is in your hand and only takes a press of the button to control. You definitely need your phone to help you out. On top of being able to control the toy with your phone, you can also record yourself having sex.

That’s not part of the features listed, and the company is calling it “a minor bug,” which is just poor marketing. There are no such things as bugs. According to Apple law, everything is a feature.

According to a Reddit user, the app recorded a six-minute audio file of sex sounds. I guess his phone didn’t have the space to record a longer file. Lovense said that it was just a local file and didn’t go to the company’s servers. So, if someone wanted to hack Lovense, they would not find a file of this Reddit user moaning.

This sounds like a big deal, but I’m pretty indifferent towards it. There are apps out there that record your sex sounds and help you improve your sex life with those recordings. Again, Lovense could have marketed this the same way. I also don’t have any sympathy towards people buying these new-age toys and wanting to use their phone to control them.

Buy (or steal) a battery-operated toy like a normal person.

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