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Sophie Turner Looks Gorgeous Sipping On A Mojito In Wet Crop Top

Here is a serious question: when is Sophie Turner going to be the hottest working actress in Hollywood? I honestly and truly believe it is only a matter of time before she is everyone’s favorite actor. She’ll be in all the movies as all the leading ladies, she will be everywhere, and we’ll love every minute of it.

I know she’s stuck in Game of Thrones land right now and that probably takes up all of her time. She’s done a little movie here and there between all the fighting and dragons. But once that show is over, she’s going to be free to do more stuff and that’s when I think Sophie Turner will take over the world. I really don’t think we’re going to able to stop it. Not that I believe any of us should try and stop Sophie Turner from spreading her wings and flying. I’m just saying that we couldn’t stop it if we wanted too. Sophie Turner is going to be a goddess, you mark my words.

Until then, let’s just enjoy Sophie Turner in a crop top having a drink. I’m telling you, it’s going to happen. Prepare yourself now because sexy goddess Sophie Turner is coming.

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AnnaLynne McCord’s Fit Tummy On Display In Workout Tights

I still remember the first time I saw AnnaLynne McCord’s face. It was in a promo for Nip/Tuck. At that time I thought she was the most beautiful creature I had ever seen, apart from Elvis, but that one wasn’t sexual. If we are being truthful, who doesn’t find that big ol’ hunk of manmeat attractive? If I am being truthful, I still am not sure if Nip Tuck is the name of a character on the show. I never watched. I have no plans on watching it. And I am happy believing that it is, so why upset the status quo?

Now, I did say that I thought AnnaLynne was the most beautiful creature that I had ever seen. Now she is among the most beautiful creatures that I have ever seen, This does not reflect poorly on her, it is the simple matter of their being much more competition than there was back then. AnnaLynne has aged remarkably over the last decade, and she will continue to hold a special place in pants for the rest of my days. I respect her so much that I was willing to spell her name correctly, instead of breaking it up into two names as it rightfully should.

 

Photo Credit: Backgrid USA

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Halsey Wows In Gorgeous Zip-Up Bikini

Halsey’s bikini is causing me to be much more disoriented than it probably should. I just do not get it. Bathing suits go in water, and metal rusts in water. What is the lifespan for this bikini, three wears? I hope it comes with an accessory of a tetanus shot, because she will certainly be needing one.

Metal is also really heavy. Why would anyone want to add it to their swimwear? I once tried swimming with my socks on—they damn near cause me to drown. That extra weight is no joke. I was almost happy to drown as well due to the disgusting feeling of having wet socks on my body. I felt like a cat was suckling on my feet.

I suppose this is just the price one pays for trying to look chic. Risking catching a nipple or pubes in the zipper probably sounds like child’s play at this point. And who isn’t looking for an excuse to call EMS over an embarrassing mishap? I know I loved needing their help to get unstuck from between the toilet and the bathtub. So many laughs were had. Not by me, but they were still had.

 

Photo Credit: Backgrid USA / Instagram 

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A Brief Tour Of Selena Gomez’s Hottest Bikini Pics

I have never seen Selena Gomez’s naked breast, she has done a fine job of keeping those bazongas under wraps, but that has not prevented me from fantasizing about them. What I imagine when I do, is that they maintain their shape even when they are sans bra. Almost like they have implants, even though we all know that they don’t. That would really be an ideal pair; defying gravity while maintaining consistency.

My only desire in life is to put off an accidental overdose for long enough to see her girls exposed to the world, and I want it to be done consensually. I do not want sleazy paparazzi pics taken without her knowledge while she is changing in a cabana. I would get no sense of fulfillment out of that. What I want are tasteful, professional pics displaying her talent in all its glory.

If I wanted to see sloppy nudes in bad lighting I would open up the secure folder on my phone and take a stroll down memory lane. Believe it or not, there has been more than one girl whose standards were low enough that they were willing to look to me for approval.

 

[More Selena Gomez Yacht Bikini Candids Over Here]

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Charlie Riina Pumping Gas In A Cleavetastic Uni Is High Grade Sexy

Charlie Riina is about as excellent as excellent gets. If she were any better, it would put her 10 paces past being perfect. I have no idea why such a pretty little lady is pumping gas all by herself. I understand the independent woman argument, but when you’re that beautiful, other people pumping your gas should be an expected common curtesy. Even when it’s outside of the only two states left in America that still require another person to pump your gas. I wouldn’t mind being her personal fuel attendant. I’d follow her to the ends of the Earth just to make sure she would never have to experience the hassle of stepping outside of her vehicle for a fill up.

With me by her side, she’d have more time to take pictures. Which should be mandatory for a hot woman like her. She should have a 10 picture minimum per day. All of them portraits because it’s important for everyone to admire beauty whenever possible. Just looking at her will brighten up anyone’s day. I haven’t been down since I laid my eyes on her. And I don’t plan on looking away any time soon. She’s such an instant pick me up.

Photo Credit: MEGA

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Vanessa Hudgens Glammed Up For Flirty Fun At The Celebrity Experience Red Carpet

Celebrity experience? How much do the fans get to actually experience when the celeb is up on the stage and surrounded by what I assume to be armed guards, which I concede is for good reasons. There are certainly some freaks out there. If I was head of security I would contact whoever made the popemobile and get him to outfit that chair with a hefty amount of bulletproof glass. She is already out of arms reach, how much more removed would the glass make her feel?

My point is, the experience in celebrity experience should really be in quotes. I concede that she is in fact a celebrity, but to experience something I think it also needs to touch you. Although, maybe Vanessa is taking the “touch” definition to be a bit more metaphorical.

The Jimi Hendrix Experience touched a lot of people, which is why there have never been protests over the band name. I suppose if some people had their souls fondled by Vanessa then that does constitute a valid usage of the word as well. I rarely get fondled by anyone, so whether Vanessa did it metaphorically or literally I wouldn’t have much reason to complain.

 

[Check Out Vanessa Hudgens Sexiest Stories And Photos Over Here]

Photo Credit: Splash News

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Kim Turnbull Turns Heads On The Barbados Beach In Sizzling Hot Bikini

We are all told not to stare. Whether it’s at the sun or other people it’s considered rude to stare. I have to say I disagree with that statement because believe staring can be a good thing. You stare at great art, you stare at the beauty of the night sky, and you stare at Kim Turnbull in a bikini.

Really you don’t have a choice when it comes to Kim Turnbull in a bikini. All that other stuff you can stare or not stare, but Kim Turnbull’s hot bikini body… sorry, your eyes are going to be glued to her. We should all consider doing more neck exercises before heading to the beach. You never know when Kim Turnbull and her incredible bikini body might show up. You are going to watching walk up and down the shore for hours. I know I would be. Might as be a good idea to throw some eye drops in your beach bag since you won’t be doing much blinking. All that sand and wind and stuff will reek havoc on your eyes, but it will totally be worth it to stare at Kim Turnbull in a bikini. Enjoy!

Photo Credit: Backgrid USA

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Genesis Jones Ridiculously Sexy In See-Through Top And Latex Skirt

It feels odd to see something made out of latex that is being worn on the body in full view of the public. I am so use to the much more common item being worn in private that I am having a hard time processing this. There are boobs and skin and latex. I am on sensory overload. I think I finally know what dogs feel like when they go for walks.

One good thing to take away from this is that Genesis does not have an allergy to latex. That is a great thing to know before you absolutely need to know it, because it is so difficult to bring up in conversation, and it is so hard to find convenience store that sells goatskin at two in the morning. Although it would be expensive, and rarely pay off, it might be a good idea to always keep a non-latex condom on hand just in case you come across one of the exceptions. Granted, that is the kind of thing they should keep on their persons, but it would be a easy way to score brownie points.

 

Photo Credit: Splash News 

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Charlotte McKinney Cheeky Bikini Shoot Candids Will Make Your Day

What is with people wearing a towel like it is a piece of clothing? They act like they were not prepared to be seen wearing such a skimpy outfit. Who did they expect to see them? Santa is always watching, after all, so one should always choose their outfit accordingly.

I do not even agree with the wearing of a towel when one gets out of the shower. How much water does your body retain that you need to keep the absorbent fabric against your skin? All I need to do is pat myself with a towel that is older than I am and I am as dry as a bone. I’m hairy as hell too, so I feel like my body keeps twice as much water retained as a woman’s.

I do not even condone the wearing of a towel when there are children around and you need to walk down the hall to your room. Plan accordingly, for crying out loud, and bring your clothes into the bathroom. A child seeing its mother wearing nothing but a towel will leave it scarred for life. I am fairly certain that is what set off Ted Bundy.

 

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Supermodels Olivia Culpo and Devon Windsor Show Off Their Assets Together In Revealing Bikinis

There is a good reason I have no idea where supermodels vacation. Because I’d never leave. I know the supermodels would be there only a brief period of time, but if knew what beach Olivia Culpo and Devon Windsor were at together, wearing some super sexy bikinis I would live there forever.

I honestly mean I would sit on the sand, watch Olivia Culpo and Devon Windsor in bikinis, they would leave, and then I would be too stunned to move. I would be overcome with joy or happiness or whatever feelings one has when seeing Olivia Culpo and Devon Windsor in bikinis in real life. It would be like Olivia Culpo and Devon Windsor and their hot bodies would turn me into stone. I know that sounds bad, but if you gotta get turned into stone that how I want it to happen. Thankfully I have little desire to travel. I would be in real danger, real sexy danger, but danger none the less.

Olivia Culpo and Devon Windsor together in pictures is almost too much sexiness for me to handle. I know it’s a risk, but damn it, it’s a risk we are all willing to take. Olivia Culpo and Devon Windsor together in bikinis is a sight we all should see at least once in our lives. Though, twice is better. And the third time is pretty great as well. Fourth time… you know.

[More Sexy Bini Shots Of The Former Miss Universe Right Here]

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Ronda Rousey, Kara Del Toro, And All The Smoking Hotties At The Netflix Premiere of “Mile 22”

There’s a joke going around that says Netflix will green light anything. Doesn’t matter the concept, the script, whether it’s a movie or television show, they’ll produce it. And sure, Netflix is making a lot of content right now, but if they keep bringing together people like Ronda Rousey and Kara Del Toro, then I hope they keep on greenlighting everything.

I have no idea what “Mile 22” is about, I would guess cars or something, but I could be completely wrong. If the movie has Ronda Rousey and Kara Del Toro in it, then I’m going to to be tuning in whenever it’s ready to be streamed. Even if it’s terrible, I’ll be totally fine with that. The more chances we can have sexy red carpets like this, then I’ll do my part. I’ll watch a bad movie. I’ll watch a bad movie a couple of times that means Lindsey Vonn is going to hit a red carpet wearing something super sexy. Really, it’s the least we can do. Bad movies never hurt anybody and besides, you can always find something to love even in a terrible film. Spending two hours staring at Ronda Rousey is never a bad thing.

So, if Netflix wants to make “Mile 23” then go for it! Let’s see how many super sexy red carpet events we can have! Let’s see if we can overflow the red carpet with hotties!

Photo Credit: Backgrid USA / MEGA

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Anastasiya Kvitko’s Curves Literally Cannot Be Contained

If you turn your screen upside down Anistasiya’s ass looks like a coconut has been split in half and its milky goodness is spilling out. Her skin is such a perfect color to make that comparison that I hardly think it is only by coincidence that it makes the resemblance.

Or maybe I just made the comparison because the mental image of a bunch of guys flipping their computer screens over made me chuckle.

I am only kidding. I would never mislead you like that, and any fool could mistake Anistasiya’s cocobutt for a coconut. Thankfully she is not stranded on a desert island. Guys would be hallucinating, trying to stick straws up there for survival. And that would be horrific for many reasons, not least of which being the use of an outlawed plastic item. How dare they put their own survival above that of the sea turtles!

I think Anastasiya would agree with me on that point. She would not want any straws to be going near any of her orifices, and that would all be due to her environmentally conscious mind. A reed is a different story though, because it is natural.

 

 

Photo Credit: Backgrid USA

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Check Out Lana Del Rey’s Sexy Body In These Boat Vacation Candids

Lana Del Babe has got that summertime radness going on right now. Living it up in her all white outfit, soaking up the sun, and enjoying somebody’s boat. I do not know if it is hers or not, but it doesn’t really matter. Actually, it is even better for her if it is not hers, because then she is not on the hook for the bill. Not that she cannot afford it, but saving money is saving money. I don’t care who you are, that always feels good.

If there was one piece of advice that I could give to my younger self, it would be make friends with a boat owner instead of being an antisocial piece of crap. My standard of living would have skyrocketed overnight.

Women flock to boats just like they do to a bar that is giving out free shots. It does not matter what liquor it is, the same way it does not matter how nice the boat is, because it is going to give them an excuse to act crazy regardless. And when you are the friend of the owner of the boat, you could be the guy they get crazy on.

 

Photo Credit: Backgrid USA

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Emily Ratajkowski Coke Stomach

Our lawyers are advising us to emphasize that we are neither suggesting that Emily is using illicit substances to keep her tummy tight, nor are we saying she is using her flat stomach as a surface for others to use illicit substances on. The title was simply making note of the convenient brand placement near one of Emily’s many valuable assets. A product placement that she could be making a pretty penny off of, while I get NOTHING!

Thankfully Emily had the good sense to cop the bottom of that hideous shirt. Her stomach was actually able to salvage the look. Had the shirt still been complete I think she could have finally made the cover of She-mullet Magazine. It is a standup publication and they have some high standards for what they will include. As of yet I believe it is Emily’s white whale.

I am fighting saying anything good about Coca-Cola. Since I am not getting a kickback I do not want to give them anything for free. But I also do not want to insult them, thereby keeping them from employing me in the future. So all I will say is Coca-Cola is a beverage which is consumed by many.

 

Photo Credit: Backgrid USA

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Christina Hendricks Puts On A Sexy Show With Her Huge Pushed-Up Busty Pair

I shudder to think of the amount of strain her clothing is being put under trying to uphold that pair. It is probably a greater weight than the stress a college dropout feels when they get their monthly bill from Sallie Mae, knowing their chances of writing a successful screenplay get exponentially smaller with each passing week, just like their dreams.

Christina is the body ideal of every person who has ever uttered the word thicc. Managing to keep all of the extra weight in all of the right places is not a skill that can be taught, only inherited through genetics or bought from a skilled surgeon. Which of these applies to Christina I cannot rightly say, but I like her so much I am willing to give her the benefit of the doubt and go with the former option.

My only complaint about Mad Men is that it was not featured on a channel which was a little more loose with the nudity allowances. The most we got from AMC was some generous cleavage and some naked back. That has not been enough to satisfy me since I was twelve.

 

[More Busty Cleavage Pics of Christina Hendricks!]

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Weekend Bikini Roundup: The Sexiest Summer Edition Yet With Kendall Jenner, Kimberley Garner, Heidi Pratt and More

I know that summer is getting closer and closer to ending, but the days are still hotter and hotter. We still have a nice long time to enjoy these super sexy bikini babes and enjoy them we will. These might be the hottest bikinis we’ve seen all summer.

Though, I do hate turning this into some kind of contest. After all, these beautiful ladies are wearing bikinis because they want to. They are showing off their amazing bodies and we are counting our lucky stars that we get to see them. Each one is beautiful, each one is sexy, each one brings something that only they can bring to a two piece. We shouldn’t sit in judgment. We should sit with our heads held high and in great admiration for each one of these super hot hotties in their super hot hot bikinis. It should be all about the feeling you get after flipping through all of these lovely ladies, not picking a winner.

So, come on, let’s just enjoy Kendell Jenner’s bikini in the way she makes it sexy. No need to compare it to Brett Rossi and her stunning bikini body. Just like we can’t really say Kimberley Garner in a bikini is better than Ana Braga in a bikini. They are all wonderful.

[Kendall’s Hottest Bikini Photos Right Here]

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Delicious Bikini Curves With Ellie Jones To Start Your Week

That huge crater in the Earth in Arizona may be millions of years older than Ellie Jones, but even with the head start, it still didn’t manage to carve better curves than the ones found on her body. Giving her the name Grand Ellie would be a disservice since her shape is, without doubt, way more perfected than the Grand Canyon. She will be known as Superb Curve Ellie. If I had to choose between seeing her or the horseshoe bend, I would definitely make it a priority to put her at least several spots higher on my bucket list. Looking at her body beats staring at a huge hole in the ground. Because I can easily dig a hole at home and admire the fact that I made it myself. She’s a walking attraction. They should sell t-shirts and other merchandise wherever she stays put for longer than ten minutes.

I know they have all sorts of challenges on the internet these days. An #EllieJoneschallenge would be nice. We could all race to see who finds the best pictures of Ellie. So far these pictures are in the lead. It’s a challenge trying to look away because Ellie is just so mesmerizing.

Photo Credit: MEGA

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Ageless Alyssa Milano Strikes A Sexy Pose On The “Insatiable” Netflix Red Carpet

The word of the day is yonic, students. This the female equivalent of phallic, meaning it represents vaginal symbolism. When your mind is perpetually in the gutter, as mine apparently is, you see yonic symbolism everywhere. Right now I am seeing it on the centerpiece of Alyssa Milano’s dress, but these types of images can be seen anywhere.

They can be found in classic artwork, nature, some have even claimed that if you blur your eyes just right you can see them on certain members of congress. I don’t claim that, but some people do.

Sometimes these yonic images are intentional, while other times the creator is blissfully unaware of what they have created. This can get a bit uncomfortable when they are dedicating an art piece to an elementary school. Kids have a hard enough time focusing in school, now they have to try and learn their times tables when they have a whispering eye constantly staring at them.

Whether Alyssa Milano’s cutout was intentionally made to represent what I see when I look at it is still undetermined. I suppose it is possible that the designer thought it would be an appealing shape, but in a way I think that supports my theory, because there is a reason why it is so appealing.

 

 

Photo Credit: Splash News 

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Who’s Hotter: Supermodel Smackdown with Hailey Baldwin and Cambrie Schroder

For any leg lovers out there, this is going to be a tough decision. Both of these gals have got some quality equipment that they are working with, and neither have knees that resemble baby heads. That last detail is really important. I do not care how long a lady’s legs are, I do not want to look at them if they are going to make me feel like someone is staring back. The only voyeurism that I condone is that which is done by me, because I have principles.

What I am really loving about Hailey is the dress that she is wearing here. It looks so classy for a day out. Most of the women I know won’t put on a dress unless it is a special occasion and they know a camera is going to be brought out. I suppose being famous means you can usually count on a camera being around though, so it is better to be safe than sorry. Being caught wearing old sweats could really hurt your image as a model.

So I guess Hailey is going to walk away with the win today, and Cambrie will have to put forth more of an effort next time.

 

Photo Credit: Splash News / Backgrid USA

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Jennifer Lopez’s Awesome Cleavage On Display In Super-Yacht Workout Candids

Is this going to be the newest trend in fitness? Now it will no longer be enough to simply exercise, which is hard enough to find the motivation to do, but now we will be expected to do it on the water? I know standing on an unstable surface is going to be great for your core, but yachts are not exactly a common household utility.

I think things are beginning to get a little ridiculous. I knew the moment those exercise balls were introduced to the arena that we were on our way down a slippery slope, and now we are in full landslide mode. It used to be that all a man needed to get ripped was his own body and a Charles Atlas booklet. I might just stop working out entirely in protest of these elitist programs.

Most of us are in debt up to our eyeballs. How can we be expected to find access to a yacht when cannot find access to a fishing boat? Even if I had a fishing boat to my name I doubt it would have the space required to get a quality workout in. Some of those boats are barely seaworthy, I would not feel comfortable literally rocking one. Instead of getting killer obliques I’d end up swimming with killer whales.

 

[Check Out All The Pics Right Over Here]

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Stop And See Actress Natasha Blasick Stripping Down For This Cute And Sexy Bikini Picnic

There are a few things in this life I can’t live without and those things happen to be nature, homemade meals, and beautiful women who look like Natasha Blasick. Recently, I’ve figured out just how much Natasha means to me after seeing that she enjoys picnics in the park. Great weather, great food, and a great looking woman is everything I always ask for. The combination of all three has me thinking that I’m in a dream. The scenario is a little too perfect. But I’ve pinched myself and can rest assured knowing that Natasha really does exist, and really does look that amazing.

I want to be her official picnic partner. I have years of experience with cutting off the crusts of plenty of different types of sandwiches. I’ve neatly de-crusted every kind from ham to jam. She can combine my expertise with her beauty and bag packing skills, and we would have nothing less than the perfect day. Disney would most likely be inspired to make a movie based on our picnic outings. Natasha can easily be mistaken for a princess. All I would ask is that when the credits roll, the title next to my name states “serious romantic interest” so the world knows how infatuated I am with her.

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Newly Single Kourtney Kardashian See-Through Shirt And Neon Bralet

My heart breaks a little for Kourtney Kardashian because she’s single again. It might be for the best, but if she’s feeling down I hope she takes some time to herself to look at a picture of Kourtney Kardashian in a see-through top. That neon bra is really putting a smile on my face so I know it would put one of hers.

Having grown up in a small town I can safely say that only a few should dare to wear see-through. Kourtney Kardashian should wear see-through all the time. She really knows how to pull it off and make it look like it’s supposed to look. Sure, I might have gone through a mesh t-shirt workout phase and I wish I could have stopped it sooner, but I’m not Kourtney Kardashian. I can’t make it look amazing. She can. And does. And should continue wearing it as long as possible. I know some people and places might look down on see-through tops, but who needs them anyway! You keep on rocking see-through Kourtney Kardashian, you look better than anyone else ever has in see-through!

I think I just gave myself a pep talk. I’m not saying I’m going to go digging for my old sleeveless mesh tops, but I am hopeful that we’ll see Kourtney Kardashian wearing see-through again in the very near future.

[See The Pics That Ended Kourtney’s Relationship]

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Madison Beer Showing Skin In A Crop Top Is As Hot As Casual Gets

Casual is an underrated look, in my overrated opinion. A woman does not need to doll herself up like she is going to the finest strip club in all of Idaho in order to be considered hot. Oftentimes, less is more.

I actually do not like it when a woman puts too much effort into her appearance. It makes me feel pressure to put effort into my appearance. I don’t like pressure. I have seen Total Recall, I know it can make your head explode.

What I like is a girl that can wear a pair of loose fitting pants with a top that doesn’t need to be dry cleaned, while still looking bangable. Admittedly, those standards are quite low, but for an example, Madison Beer hits the mark perfectly. She is like a walking ad for high end thrift stores.

Tube tops are a great way to go green as well. If you live in a climate that allows for them, that is. Less fabric being used means less fish are having their stomachs violated by pollution. I may not have that one hundred percent accurate, but I know it is something close.

 

 

Photo Credit: Backgrid USA

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