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Kelsey Owens, Whoever the Hell That Is, Doing Whatever the Hell This Is

As someone who hasn’t watched a single moment of MTV since the turn of the millennium, I couldn’t tell you what’s happening on that channel, particularly as it pertains to their reality programming. This is why I haven’t heard of Kelsey Owens before now, as she is apparently one of the new breed of reality stars hanging out on a channel that used to exclusively play music videos.

Look, Kelsey Owens is a perfectly lovely woman and she looks absolutely gorgeous in this outfit, but I can’t possibly be expected to care about the whys and wherefores when it comes to an MTV reality show star. There’s absolutely nothing on this planet that could get me to tune into MTV, so no matter how lovely Kelsey looks, this will likely be my only exposure to her as I don’t plan on changing my MTV or reality show policies anytime soon.

For those of you that love Kelsey Owens and whatever it is that she does, rock on with your bad selves, I couldn’t be happier for you. It’s not my bag, however, and I’ll just pretend she’s some random woman that posed for sexy pictures. It’ll be better that way for all of us in the long run, trust me.

Photos courtesy of Mega Agency

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Debby Ryan and Georgia Fowler Sexing Up Paris Fashion Week

Paris Fashion Week is winding down but that doesn’t mean we’ve seen all there is from the hottest celebrities attending the event. This time we’ve got former Disney girl Debby Ryan and New Zealand-born Victoria’s Secret model Georgia Fowler looking sexy in casual evening wear as they hit up the Karl Lagerfeld something or other.

Who knows with fashion week, there are so many events and parties and runway shows, it’s hard to keep track of it all, but it’s easy to see why Debby Ryan and Georgia Fowler were the center of attention on this particular night. Debby’s not showing much in the way of cleavage, which is disappointing because she’s got an absolutely incredible pair of breasts, but just seeing her looking sexy is enough for now.

Georgia Fowler is no slouch herself, strutting her stuff and showing off some cleavage thanks to the strange neckline on her dress. All in all it was quite a Paris Fashion Week this year, but there’s bound to be another fashion week in another city next week. If there’s anything this job has taught me, it’s that it’s always fashion week somewhere. It’s also taught me that not every fashion week features babes as sexy as Debby Ryan and Georgia Fowler!

All photos courtesy of Mega Agency

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Iskra Lawrence is a Vision in Yellow

I’ve always had a thing for girls with more meat on their bones and Iskra Lawrence is one of the most gorgeous women that doesn’t fit the waifish standards of the fashion industry. She was in Paris earlier this week and stepped out in a dress whose color can only be accurately described as highlighter yellow. Seriously, she looks like one of my college textbooks.

Iskra Lawrence is so well aware of her size and compliments it with gorgeous outfits like this one. There’s even a nice picture of her feet in there for QT and all you other foot men out there. There really is something for everyone here, except ignorant assholes who are gonna show up to try and body shame her as if she reads this site, let alone its comments section.

If you want to extoll the virtues of Iskra Lawrence, we welcome you to sound off on this all-time beauty in the comments section below. If you’ve got nothing positive to contribute, however, keep going. There’s no rule that says you have to read every article on the site, so just leave this one for people who enjoy Iskra Lawrence. If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.

Photos courtesy of Mega Agency

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Holy Jebus. Ariel Winter Looks The Second Best She’s Ever Looked, Ever

Everyone knows that the hottest Ariel Winter ever looked was on the green carpet of the HBO 2019 Golden Globes party. See exhibit A above. I always find Ariel to be hot, but she stepped out with a slimmer figure and a dress that did a dern good job of showing off her nizasty little spinner bod.

 

 

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💋💃🏻

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As of today, we all know that the second best Ariel looked was in this red dress on Instagram. The twenty-one-year-old Modern Family starlet is glamorous, sexy, boob-y, classy, and nizasty all at once as she knowingly poses in a red bandage dress. She’s Insta Mona Lisa. Is she smiling? Is she sad? Is she horny for me? All great and realistic questions to be asking after seeing this pic. Enjoy…

 

 

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😜

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FriYAY #mood 🙃

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A Bunch of Hot Babes That Aren’t in ‘Joker’ Sex Up the Movie’s Premiere

There’s nothing wrong with going to a premiere for a movie you’re not in, but it seems like Joker‘s premiere was absolutely flush with hot women who aren’t in the movie. Now, I am in no way complaining, Joker, like most comic book movies, is probably a sausage fest, so you’ve got to add some sex appeal to the premiere, and lord knows Joaquin Phoenix’s current gal pal Rooney Mara isn’t going to light up a red carpet.

First up in the cleavage contest is Jenah Yamamoto, who is definitely showing the most cleavage, but I’ll leave it to you to determine if she’s showing the best cleavage. Next we have the pouty Emily Li, who looks like she’d rather be hanging out with Rooney Mara in sourpuss town. I know it’s sexist to tell a woman to smile, but god damn Emily.

Loren Gray and Ariel Yasmine close out this portion of the red carpet premiere of people who aren’t in Joker. I’m sure the ladies really enjoyed this story about a psychopathic white guy who becomes fed up with his lot in life and turns to vigilantism. It sounds like it’s right up their allies. Speaking of which…

Photos courtesy of Mega Agency

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Nude Model Erna O’Hara Gets So Down And Dirty On Twitter And Instagram You Won’t Believe It

 

We seriously love the gorgeous redheaded model Erna O’Hara, and thankfully she loves sharing peeks at her amazing body as much as we love peeping it. She has silky smooth skin, an adorable face, and a truly epic bum that she can’t seem to keep hidden from the cameras. Honestly can you be addicted to showing off your butt? Addicted to… crack so to speak?

Erna O’Hara accomplishments really speak for themselves, so check out some of her latest and greatest werk below. And if you want even more of the story you should check out her Patreon. Enjoy…

 

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And in case these pics don’t prove to you that Erna O’Hara really does get really down and dirty on social media, here’s irrefutable proof:

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Natalie Portman Shows Plenty of Chest at ‘Lucy in the Sky’ Premiere

Natalie Portman is among the sexier women on the planet and she showed up to the premiere of her latest movie, Lucy in the Sky, showing plenty of chest alongside co-star Jon Hamm—or for our Spanish readers, Juan Jamón. The film is loosely based on the true story of that female astronaut who went crazy and drove to Florida in adult diapers or whatever.

I really like Natalie’s fashion sense, she’s got a good handle on her body and knows that she’s equipped to wear an outfit like this with little chance of a wardrobe malfunction. I love this fashion trend wherein women have a big hole in the fabric of their dress and you can kinda see their boobs. Sure, it’d be better to full on see them than kinda see them, but it’s one of the only fashion trends worth talking about these days.

Anyways, Natalie Portman is still rocking it all these years after The Phantom Menace, and we couldn’t be happier to share in the spoils of her adult sexiness. I just hope that Juan Jamón can keep his eyes locked on hers, otherwise there’s going to be some awkward conversations happening after the screening, and nobody wants that.

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CJ Franco and Natalia Janoszek are Just Busty Best Bikini Buddies

If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times: There is nothing better in this world than bikini buddies, and CJ Franco and Natalia Janoszek are two of the best bikini buddies in the business! These two beauties were hanging out in the Mediterranean, no big whoop, just a couple of busty beauties built for bikinis, soaking up the sun in one of the most gorgeous locations on the planet.

I think I need to try a new tactic and stop holding out hope that I’ll ever be bikini buddies with someone and just focus on celebrating bikini buddies independent of my own wishes. Sure, it would be nice to have CJ Franco or Natalia Janoszek as a bikini buddy, but I need to just be happy with the fact that they are their own best bikini buddies and seem to enjoy one another’s company quite a bit.

So get excited over CJ Franco and Natalia Janoszek, two of the sexiest bikini buddies alive. There’s virtually nothing in this world that CJ Franco or Natalie Janoszek can’t do without their best bikini bud right by their side!

Photos courtesy of Mega Agency

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Irina Shayks Off Bradley Cooper with Sexy New Ad Campaign

Irina Shayk is clearly doing just fine without Bradley Cooper. She didn’t need that grumbly mass of mumbly bones hanging around her after A Star is Born, so she said goodnight Irina and got on with her life. And good for her, she’s a beautiful woman and she doesn’t need some unshaven, unwashed dirtbag in a cowboy hat trying to climb in bed with her after pretending banging Lady Gaga all day.

Anyway, Irina is back with a brand new ad campaign and it’s looking like she’s got another hit on her hands. She’s advertising cashmere sweaters or something, who could be bothered to find out, honestly? She’s definitely rocking them with all the sweater wearing aplomb one might expect from a professional model, but there’s something about Irina Shayk that just makes sweater wearing seem like the sexiest activity on the planet.

So rock on with your bad self, Irina Shayk. Now that you’ve shaken off Bradley Cooper, maybe you could shake off one of those sweaters. We sure would love to get a look at what’s going on underneath the sweater, if you catch my drift. It’s probably pretty amazing, just based on what I can see for myself.

Photos courtesy of Mega Agency

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Women Be Shoppin: Amber Turner Gets a Tit Nipply in White

It’s a TOWiE kind of week as we’ve seen Olivia Attwood and Yazmin Oukhellou hanging out by the pool in their teeny bikinis, and now another TOWiE star, Amber Turner, is out shopping and clearly very aroused by the deals she scored. Women be shoppin, amirite? As a wise man once said, you cannot stop a woman from shopping.

Amber Turner was checking out the deals in a revealing white outfit that revealed probably even a little more than she might have hoped as you can clearly see her large right nipple outlined beneath the thing she’s wearing that I hesitate to even call a dress. Maybe she was shopping for bras or bikinis or some other article of clothing that required her to go braless, but no matter the reason, it sure is a beautiful sight to see.

So go on with your bad self, Amber Turner. Shop to your heart’s content. Shop till you drop, even, if you’re so inclined. So long as you keep showing off your nipples, you can shop for the rest of time. There’s nothing better than seeing a woman in her natural habitat, except maybe when you can also see that woman’s nipple.

Photos courtesy of Mega Agency

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Get Wood to Olivia Attwood’s Teeny Pink Bikini

British reality TV series The Only Way is Essex has been a haven for hot women since the minute it first came on the air years ago. Since then, the show—known as TOWiE among friends—the show has been cranking out hotties like Olivia Attwood, who was hanging out in Marabella, Spain in one of the teeniest pink bikinis I’ve ever seen.

Olivia Attwood knows full well that she can’t show up to the beach in some one piece mom swimsuit. That’s not what the pappos want to catch her in. Olivia Attwood knows that she’s going to be photographed no matter where she goes, so she prepares for the occasion by busting out this teeny pink bikini and showing off the beauty that has made her a star in the first place.

So whether you prefer the view from the front or the back, you can’t go wrong with these pics of Olivia Attwood’s teeny pink bikini. It’s among the sexiest things you’ll see today, and maybe all week. I don’t want to set us up to be disappointed or anything, but let’s all admit right here and now that this may indeed be as good as it will get this week.

Photos courtesy of Mega Agency

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Amber Turner and Chloé B are Bikini Buddies

TOWiE star Amber Turner and French model Chloé B are clearly good friends and, one might even go so far as to say that they’re bikini buddies. There’s really nothing on this planet better than bikini buddies, because the only thing better than a hot chick in a bikini is two hot chicks in a bikini. Granted there are probably better things than that, like blowjobs and a perfectly cooked ribeye, but let’s go with bikini buddies as one of the top three things.

Amber Turner is definitely having a hard time keeping her shiny bikini on, as you can tell from several of these pictures. She seems to be constantly shimmying or moving it around, lowering it even at one point in time. Chloé looks much more at home in her bikini, which is good for her but bad for us, because all the fidgeting that Amber is doing in her bikini is allowing us to see more body parts!

So whether Amber Turner and Chloé B are true bikini buddies for life or they’re just friends who occasionally hang out in bikinis, I’m definitely glad that the cameras were there to catch this particular meet-up. Take two hot ass women, add in four tiny pieces of fabric, and you’ve got magic!

Photos courtesy of Mega Agency

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Heidi Mumford Yeo Enjoys a Day at the Beach with Her Dog

British beauty Heidi Mumford Yeo is a multi-hyphenate talent, making a name for herself as a model, actress, and writer. She also knows how to rock the shit out of a bikini as she shows here while enjoying some time at the beach with her dog. As an animal rights activist, it makes sense that she would also be a dog lover, not that it’s a prerequisite for the cause, or anything, it just tracks that she would also be a dog owner.

I wonder if we’ll ever see Heidi on one of those atrocious ASPCA commercials where quasi-celebrities talk about going to a farm in the desert and finding hundreds of dogs all close to death. Those commercials are impossible to get through, but if they had someone like Heidi Mumford-Yeo hanging out in a bikini asking for donations, I feel like they might be able to turn around their entire advertising campaign.

Sure, it’s got nothing to do with saving animals but you’d almost guarantee that no one would change the channel when your commercial came on, that’s for god damned sure. So think about it ASPCA, for your next ad campaign, just have Heidi Mumford-Yeo hanging out with her dog at the beach, and watch your numbers triple!

Photos courtesy of Mega Agency

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Welcome Back to Is This Offensive? This Week, Natasha Blasick Paints it Black

It’s so hard in this day and age to know what to be outraged about, and that’s why we created the column “Is This Offensive?” This week, we’ve got Ukranian beauty Natasha Blasick painted all over with black and red body paint, leading me to wonder if there’s something offensive about all of this.

For the record, I don’t get outraged over things like this, but it really pumps some people’s nads to get righteously indignant about things, and seeing a white woman paint herself black seems like just the sort of thing that might inflate one’s testicles. I think Natasha Blasick managed to dodge any sort of major controversy by stopping the body paint at her neck. Had she gone into full blackface, there’d be no question that folks were going to be outraged.

As it stands, however, it’s just a gorgeous Ukranian woman with a red dress painted onto her body, and any areas below her neck that remained flesh colored were then covered with black. Natasha Blasick might just have figured out where the line is and walked right up to it, daring folks to get outraged. I can’t wait to see what people have to say about this in the comments section below!

Photos courtesy of Mega Agency

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Nicole Williams is Basically Wearing a Bra as a Top

Canadian television personality Nicole Williams certainly doesn’t carry herself like a Canadian. Canadians are known for their unfailing politeness and modesty, and there’s absolutely nothing modest about wearing a bra as a top, making me think that Nicole Williams is either the worst Canadian ever or the best Canadian ever. It could honestly go either way, I’m just not sure which way it’s leaning at the moment.

If she’s the best Canadian ever, she’s doing it by breaking one of the most sacred Canadian commandments, so I just don’t see that adding up. Then again, if she’s the worst Canadian ever, that would mean that she’s probably devoid of other Canadian qualities, and I don’t want to assume the worst in someone, especially if that someone is as hot as Nicole Williams.

While I don’t think this is the time or place to put a value judgment on Nicole Williams Canadian-ness, I think it’s a conversation worth having somewhere down the road. More than likely, such an endeavor would be undertaken by actual Canadians, so if you know any of those, get them on this right away.

Photos courtesy of Mega Agency

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Emily Ratajkowski Thrilled Beyond Words to Attend Some Fashion Event

Any time we get to see Emily Ratajkowski out and about is a wonderful day, but you wouldn’t know that it’s so wonderful if you looked at Emily Ratajkowski’s face. I know that’s a tall order, and her face is usually the last thing we check out, but it’s worth looking at just how absolutely miserable she looks to be attending whatever the hell event this is as part of New York Fashion Week.

I’ve seen trophy wives put on a better face that this during sex with their wrinkly billionaire husbands. Not that I watch that porn genre exclusively, but it’s definitely in the rotation. If you told me that Emily Ratajkowski was on the way to the dentist in these pictures, I’d be inclined to believe you. That’s the way most people look when they’re on their way to the dentist, not on their way to some gala fashion event.

Let’s give Emily Ratajkowski the benefit of the doubt here and just assume that she’s going into this event and has to sit next to someone she hates. I think that would put a damper on anyone’s mood, and thinking that’s the source of Emily’s dourness is going to help me get through the night. Let’s just call it that and move on with our lives.

Photos courtesy of Mega Agency

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How Is Nastya Nass’s Extreme Twerking Ass Even Humanly Possible?

 

Nastya Nass is one of our very very very favorite Instagram stars, and her almost 5 million lucky followers are treated to countless jaw-dropping twerking videos that will make you say: What is anatomy? What is human? What is life? Are you there God? It’s me, Margarine. Or whatever. I had some drinks last night.

Anyway when Nass gets in the groove, the professional fitness model’s epic butt seems to dislocate completely from her body. For example in this new vid the Angel of A$$ twerks her herself to within an inch of her life:

 

And then she looks death in the eyes and twerks some MOAR:

 

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If you don’t have friends like this…😍🤪😍 #twerkwithnass #lasvegas 🎵 #wiggleit @frenchmontana @citygirls 🎥 @mytypolife

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Basically, if you haven’t heard of Nastya Nass you should start following her yesterday, and if you already know about her, you understand the power. The mystery. The awe. The secrets untold. Of dat azzzzz.

 

 

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I need a month long vacation somewhere on the island 🌴🤤 1, 2 or 3?👙

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Ashley Graham vs Ashley Benson in the Battle of Hot Ashleys

In case you didn’t know or didn’t care, it’s currently New York Fashion Week and many of the hottest women on the planet have converged on the city that never sleeps. Two of the hottest both share the same first name, as both Ashley Graham and Ashley Benson attended the Savage X Fenty Show at the Barclays Center and battled for Ashley hotness supremacy.

I think the edge here goes to Ms. Benson, despite the fact that I normally love Ashley Graham, but she just seems to be keeping things simple and that works best in a situation like this. Ashley Graham went with a really gaudy accent color for her eyeshadow and purse, making her look a little like a cast member from some show set at the prom in the 80s.

Even still, I’m not kicking either Ashley out of bed and I doubt you would either. There’s plenty of Ashley love to go around, and while it’s a shame that Ashley Graham didn’t bring her A-game and complicated matters here, I still love her dress and think it’s sexy as all get out. Ashley Benson, you may have won this round, but Ashley Graham will be back and better than ever next time!

Photos courtesy of Mega Agency

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Caitriona Balfe Stuns in Low Cut Dress at ‘Ford v Ferrari’ Premiere

It’s hard to believe but Outlander beauty Caitriona Balfe is going to turn 40 very soon. On October 4, to be precise. She’s living it up in the final days of her 30s for sure, walking the red carpet at the Toronto International Film Festival in support of the new film Ford v Ferrari in a low cut, sheer dress that reveals more of her breasts than I thought we’d see at some sort of chi-chi red carpet event.

I sincerely hope that Caitriona is on the verge of breaking out as a movie star as well as a television star. There’s frankly not enough of Caitriona to go around and it would be mighty nice to see her turn up in a new movie every couple of weeks. That’s the sort of thing I could get used to, especially considering that it would give us approximately ten times more Caitriona Balfe red carpet sexiness than we get currently.

To be honest, I don’t necessarily want to sit through any of these movies Caitriona Balfe is going to be hypothetically appearing in, but it sure beats the alternative which is a world in which she doesn’t appear in any movies. So Hollywood, get on it and start casting this gorgeous woman in more movies!

Photos courtesy of Mega Agency

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Cara Santana Rocking a Bra and Blazer Like a Boss, Also

Cara Santana is one of those people I know I’ve seen before or read about before or encountered somewhere before in my life, because there’s something familiar about her, but looking through her various projects, I don’t think I’ve ever laid eyes on Cara Santana before now. Of course, I may have written about it her two weeks ago and I frankly wouldn’t remember even if that were the case.

Here’s one thing I can say for certain, and that is that Cara Santana knows how to rock the bra and blazer look like a boss. It’s not an easy look to pull off, but as Vanessa Hudgens just showed us earlier today, on the right body type, the look is quite sexy. Cara Santana’s going to sadly run a close second to Vanessa today in the bra and blazer sweepstakes, but I sure am glad they both showed up to play.

Perhaps Cara Santana and Vanessa Hudgens rocking the bra and blazer look like a boss will inspire other women to keep the trend going. Then again, maybe it won’t and we can view pictures like these of Cara Santana as a reminder of just how hard this look is to pull off.

Photos courtesy of Mega Agency

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Vanessa Hudgens Rocking a Bra and Blazer Like a Boss

It takes balls of steel—though obviously not literal ones—to pull off the bra and blazer look, but methinks Vanessa Hudgens may indeed have such steel balls because she’s pulling off the bra and blazer look like a god damned champion. Then again, Vanessa Hudgens is a god damned champion and every outfit she wears is like a master class in how to dress for your body type, size, and tone. It’s really spectacular how she’s able to hit it out of the park time and time again.

It helps if you’re as gorgeous as Vanessa Hudgens, for sure, but she really knows her body and how to dress it well. She’s got an obvious eye for scrutiny and will eliminate any garments that are getting in the way of the look, i.e. the shirt she probably ditched after deciding she looked better in just the bra and blazer. It’s not the worst idea anyone’s ever had, but Vanessa Hudgens is definitely among the best to ever have the idea.

So try not to get too envious of Vanessa Hudgens’ ability to pull off the bra and blazer look. She does all of this for us, you know? It’s best to just sit back and appreciate the wonder of it all.

Photos courtesy of Mega Agency

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Emily Meade, Margarita Levieva, and More Hotties at ‘The Deuce’ Season 3 Premiere

The third and final season of HBO’s The Deuce premiered last night and while we’re sad that the show is ending soon, we couldn’t be happier for all the amazing women the show has introduced us to over the course of the first two seasons… and how many of them managed to go nude! All four of these beauties went nude on the series, so while it was nice to see them parading the red carpet fully clothed, it’s even nicer to imagine them nude!

Emily Meade has been the undeniable breakout star of the show and it’s no wonder. She’s cuter than a button and loves showing off her incredible naked body! Margarita Levieva had done nudity before The Deuce, but her nude scenes on the show have been among the highlights of the first two seasons.

Olivia Luccardi is also looking smoking hot, just like she did when she went topless in season one for a lusty lesbian encounter with Kayla Foster! Then, of course, there’s Maggie Gyllenhaal, who has gone from porn star to manager over the course of the first two seasons. These lovely ladies will keep the fire burning for The Deuce long after it rides off into the sunset!

Photos courtesy of Mega Agency

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Love Island Star Anna Vakili Has Got Cleavage for Days

It’s difficult for some people to avoid the trends. Most people in my position would likely cave when constantly plagued by co-workers gossiping non-stop about Love Island, but I have yet to lay eyes on the program. I’m aware of the premise—Fuck Island would’ve been a more accurate description, not much Love from what I can gather—I just have zero interest in the whole endeavor.

However, getting a load of Anna Vakili’s cleavage might have made me reconsider my position on the show. I mean, she might only be on one episode, and it couldn’t possibly hurt to watch just one episode, could it? No, I’ve got to be strong in the face of overwhelming odds. But seriously, have you seen her breasts? Holy shit!

Yes, Anna Vakili looks like a Kardashian reject and yes, I could probably find an equally spectacular pair of breasts on a woman not associated with a reality show, but come on! If watching this show means that I might get at least an accidental peek at her breasts, I need to be willing to take that chance. It’s what separates me from my co-workers who actually watch the show.

Photos courtesy of Mega Agency

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Kristen Stewart and Some Models Heat Up the ‘Seberg’ Red Carpet

One of the faces of the French New Wave, Jean Seberg was an absolute icon of 60s cinema thanks to her starring role in Jean-Luc Godard’s BreathlessSeberg, a new biopic about the actress starring Kristen Stewart in the title role, made its way to the Venice International Film Festival, where Stewart and several other hotties left the attending paparazzi breathless as well!

Now, if you’re wondering why Kristen Stewart is playing a famous French actress, you should know that Jean Seberg was born in Iowa. She ended up in France after making the second of two films with famed director Otto Preminger, and took the world by storm after her role in Breathless. Stewart is a dead ringer for the late actress—who took her own life in 1979—so it makes sense that she should land this prestigious role.

I’m also glad that Stewart brought along both Barbara Palvin and Sara Sampaio for this red carpet premiere. These hot ladies only added to the prestige of the picture and the whole event, adding some sex appeal that would’ve made Jean Seberg proud. It looks like it was an affair to remember and definitely has me excited for this biopic whenever it makes its way to American theaters.

Photos courtesy of Mega Agency

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