If you’ve ever watched Downton Abbey, you have an idea of what the job a household servant usually is. It involves getting into intrigues, backstabbing, hiding your homosexuality from the police, being Irish and eating downstairs.
Snoop Dogg has a different idea of what the hired help should be doing. I think you know where this is going if you’ve ever heard of Snoop Dogg before.
That’s right, Snoop has a weed butler. Here’s what he told Howard Stern, via Page Six.
Snoop said he pays the employee between $40,000 and $50,000 annually — and complimented the roller for presenting him with blunts precisely when he’s in need.
“That motherf—ker is like Lurch from the Addams Family. ‘You rang?’” Snoop said during the interview, comparing him to the manservant on the 1960s sitcom.
I know I give rich people a lot of shit like constantly suggesting we should line everyone in the country up by net worth and march them to the guillotine until we solve income inequality, but paying your joint roller $50 grand a year is a mitzvah. And the job is just rolling joints.
Stern then pressed Snoop on whether his employee’s sole job is to roll joints.
“That’s his J-O-B — his occupation,” Snoop said on the show.
“On his resume, it says, ‘what do you do? I’m a blunt roller. P-B-R, professional blunt roller,” he added.
Snoop is a real one. I just hope he knows to refer to his reefer valet by just his last name.
Something you need to know about making a movie with Snoop Dogg is that the fake movie set weed he’s giving you isn’t fake. You would think everyone would know that. Snoop Dogg isn’t smoking oregano. That dude is high all the time, why the hell would he have fake weed? That stuff is probably harsher for him than actual weed at this point. Page Six reports Matthew McConaughey learned this the hard way.
“I show up that night. I know the scene, so I talk to the prop guy on set. I said, ‘Look, I got my prop joints.’ Which are oregano. I talk to Snoop. I say, ‘These are my prop joints. Oregano.’ So all of a sudden we do the scene and it’s about an eight-minute take, it’s a long take if you’re passing a joint back and forth and you’re smoking hardcore to the heels of your feet. So the scene goes on and right after the scene I just feel like, ‘Man, I’m not sure that was a prop.’ And Snoop goes, ‘Yo, Moondog, that wasn’t prop weed, that was Snoop weed.’ I said, ‘Okay, man! Buckle up because here we go.’”
That’s a little Bill Cosby right there. Luckily, all that happened was a little rap. Unlike with Cosby. ‘E’ is an important letter.
“I didn’t say another word of English, really, the rest of the night,” McConaughey said. “You said I rapped a lot.”
“You rapped for 13 hours straight,” Snoop said with a smirk.
I can’t think of anything worse than listening to Matthew McConaughey rap for 13 hours about how relaxed he is. At least when Snoop hangs out with Martha Stewart she bakes. Can you imagine getting high with Snoop and eating food baked by Martha Stewart? The only thing that could ruin that is 13 hours of Matthew McConaughey rapping.
The post Matthew McConaughey Rapped for 13 Hours Straight After Snoop Dogg Got Him High appeared first on The Blemish.
If there’s anyone in Hollywood with a rather cheeky, self-deprecating ability to poke fun at his past peccadilloes, it’s Matthew McConaughey. Therefore, it should come as no surprise that his role in Harmony Korine’s new film The Beach Bum involves him playing the bongos, giving rambling speeches, and smoking copious amounts of weed, things the actor has gained some rather questionable notoriety for doing.
With a cast seemingly assembled thanks to random dart throws at a wall—Snoop Dogg, Zac Efron, Isla Fisher, Jimmy Buffet, Martin Lawrence, and Jonah Hill—the film marks Korine’s first feature since 2013’s ultra divisive film Spring Breakers. This looks like a spiritual cousin to that film, only without all the leering at teenage girls in pastel colored bikinis that barely covered their bits.
McConaughey has a movie out this weekend titled Serenity that no one’s going to go see, so it’ll be nice to see him on the big screen again in March in much more familiar climes. It’s not that I dislike “serious” Matthew McConaughey—he’s tits in the first season of True Detective—it’s just that I like this side of McConaughey so much more. This is a dude that I want to party with.
The Beach Bum starring Matthew McConaughey as Moondog hits select theaters starting March 29.
Snoop Dogg and Meghan Markle might never enjoy Thanksgiving dinner together, but it looks as though Snoop desperately wants to join her in one of that holiday's proudest traditions.
We're talking of course, about getting high on her nephew's pot.
Allow us to explain:
As you may have heard, Meghan's nephew, Tyler Dooley, lists his profession as "cannabis farmer."
This works out well for a number of reasons.
For one thing, "Tyler Dooley" sounds like the name of a weed dealer played by Seth Rogen in a '90s high school comedy.
More importantly, Tyler is reportedly making a killing marketing his hilariously-named "Markle Sparkle" strain in states with legal weed.
And he may soon land an endorsement from the Michael Jordan of stoners.
According to Radar Online, Snoop D-O-double-G is very eager to sample Tyler's wares.
One insider tells the site that the rap legend “can’t wait to get stuck into a blunt filled with Meghan weed.”
Either the phrase "stuck into a blunt" is some extremely white source's hilarious attempt at sounding cool, or we're just painfully out of touch. Both scenarios are equally plausible.
Apparently, Snoop's been a fan of the Duchess ever since he learned that she offered weed to her wedding guests when she married Trevor Engelson in Jamaica in 2011.
And on top of that, it seems dude is just a fan of the Windsor clan in general.
“Snoop has always been mad on two things: weed and the royals. So Markle Sparkle combines two of his favorite things,” says the source.
“He’s asked his local cannabis dispensary on Hollywood to order him some Markle Sparkle and wants to visit Tyler’s cannabis farm when he’s in Oregon for a smoke,” the insider adds.
“He’s even willing to review the weed for Tyler’s website and promote it if it means he can get a free supply.”
Of course, Meg has probably chilled on her partying since becoming a royal, but Snoop's dream of smoking a Dutch with the Duchess continues to burn bright.
“One of his biggest fantasies is to smoke up with Meghan herself and tells pals he’s delighted a ‘weed-loving’ gal has joined the ranks of the royals,” says the source.
We're sure that one will have to wait until after Meghan gives birth this spring.
But interestingly, it seems Meg's not the only female member of the Royal Family to catch Snoop's eye in recent months.
The rapper recently revealed that he hopes to one day cook dinner for Queen Elizabeth II.
“As this is The Queen we’re talking about, the only thing that will be going inside these brownies will be chocolate," he joked at the time.
"I don’t want to get banned from the UK again!”
Don't sell QE2 short, Snoop. She's 92 and probably up for anything -- including burning one down with you and Martha Stewart.
He may not make movies that are necessarily about anything, but Harmony Korine has a way of crafting highly watchable movies that just kind of meander around for ninety minutes before abruptly ending. His next effort finds him working with Matthew McConaughey, who cheekily gets in touch with his rebellious, weed smoking, naked bongo playing phase as Moondog in The Beach Bum.
The film’s supporting cast feels like a who’s who of names pulled straight out of a hat: Isla Fisher, Zac Efron, Snoop Dogg, Jimmy Buffet, and Martin Lawrence—who hasn’t made a film since 2011’s Big Momma’s House 3. It’s an eclectic mix to be sure, but it’s hard to expect any less from Korine, the reigning king of sun-drenched neon stoner movies.
You almost forget that this is a red band trailer until McConaughey opens his mouth and gives us his Moondog equivalent of his high school girls motto from Dazed & Confused… “Life’s a fuckin’ rodeo. I’m gonna suck the nectar out of it and fuck it raw dog till the fucking wheels come off.” If lines like that appeal to you, I think this might just be the movie you’ve been looking for. The Beach Bum is due out in March, 2019.
I think we’ve forgotten how villainous Martha Stewart used to be. Now that she’s filming Potluck with Snoop Dogg and they share a love of weed, she’s become the hip grandmother. She’d still sell you down the river, don’t get fooled.
Stewart earned some fans though posing in front of Donald Trump and Snoop Dogg portraits today. She was visiting the Frieze Art Fair in New York and jumped in front of the massive photos. She flashed the peace sign in Snoop’s direction and a middle finger in Trump’s. Nice.
Instagram user Newlin Tillotson captured the once in a lifetime spontaneity and captioned it:
I’ve gotta say, this would be the world’s weirdest threesome.
Y’all didn’t want Hillary for president because of her dried up vag but voted in the world’s most oversensitive manbaby for president.
You voted in a guy whose team thinks that microwaves turn into left wing spy cameras.
I’m done. And so in Snoop Dogg, who shot a Donald Trump parody with a gun in the video for the remix of the track “Lavender” by BADBADNOTGOOD and Kaytranada.
The blatant Trump parody in the video is called Ronald Klump, who is a crazy asshole who says he’s gonna deport all dogs from the country.
Trump is gonna forreal kill 20 million Americans with that healthcare shit at least, but sure, this is what’s really a big deal.
Can you imagine what the outcry would be if @SnoopDogg, failing career and all, had aimed and fired the gun at President Obama? Jail time!
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) March 15, 2017
Snoop is lit.
What does a crusty ass relic like you know about anything? You don’t even type your own tweets.
Snoop explained the video while talking to Billboard:
“The ban that this motherfucker tried to put up; him winning the presidency; police being able to kill motherfuckers and get away with it; people being in jail for weed for 20, 30 years and motherfuckers that’s not black on the streets making money off of it — but if you got color or ethnicity connected to your name, you’ve been wrongfully accused or locked up for it, and then you watching people not of color position themselves to get millions and billions off of it. It’s a lot of clown shit going on that we could just sit and talk on the phone all day about, but it’s a few issues that we really wanted to lock into [for the video] like police, the president and just life in general.”
Trump, who said that “second amendment people” should just take care of Hilary Clinton, and that he could stand in the middle of a busy NYC street and shoot somebody without consequences, has really failed to see the irony here.
Check out the video below.
In case you somehow missed the approximately 20 bajillion jokes on social media, 2016 was a rough year.
We lost far too many beloved entertainers; famous celebrity couples dropped like flies, and the American people decided to give the nuke codes to a Flamin' Hot Cheeto with a rage-tweeting problem.
Anyway, 2017 has gotta be better, right?
Well, maybe not according to the world's leading psychics.
Here's what the best-known crystal ball-gazers have to say about the year to come:
1. R.I.P. Queen Elizabeth II, Long Live King Charles!
2. Oprah Goes Blonde
3. Trump Gets Impeached
4. Hillary Clinton: Not Finished Yet!
5. Jimmy Kimmel Might Want to Invest in a Hat
6. Pam Anderson's Love of Animals Will Come Back to Bite Her
If you’ve never heard Snoop Dogg narrate nature footage, you haven’t lived. Stop everything and watch Jimmy Kimmel’s segment, Plizzanet Earth.
The video in and of itself is amazing. Anything with Snoop Dogg? A million times better.
Full of trademark Snoop Dogg mannerisms and some very relevant Wiz Khalifa references, Plizzanet Earth is exactly what we need. To get more where it came from, Kelly Ooton of Lincoln, Nebraska, took to the ever popular petition making website, change.org, to rally her message.
With Snoop on board, someone needs to make it happen big time. 19,579 supporters shows that the people want it, but do you know that you need it?
Take some time out of your day, sign the petition and immediately unsubscribe from all future emails for change.org unless you want to be guilted into signing at least 3 petitions every day for the rest of your life. And I’m more than certain that few things are as important as getting Plizzanet Earth on the air in full-length.
Pseudonyms are practically synonymous with Hollywood. The music industry? Good luck getting a musician NOT to have a stage name.
Check out this list of 67 celebrities who don't use their real names.
2. Courtney Love
3. Emma Stone
4. Hulk Hogan
6. Nicki Minaj
It's official: Snoop Dogg likes police in Texas far more than police in Sweden.
The rapper - who posed with a Texas State trooper in April - was arrested overseas on Saturday after Swedish authorities said the artist "seemed to be under the influence of narcotics" while inside a car that has been pulled over.
The police confirm that Snoop Dogg took a urine test and claim the results will not be back for another two weeks.
But Snoop quickly took to Instagram after the incident and made it clear he thinks the arrest was based on the color of his skin, not the contents of his blood stream.
"What up, it's Snoop Dogg," the star says in the online video.
"I know a lot of y'all are concerned about me. I made it through. They took me down there, made me pee in a cup, didn't find s--t, no case, no nothing. But it's better to be searched and not found with nothing than not to be searched at all.
The arrest took place in the town of Uppsala, shortly after Snoop played a concert there.
Snoop Dogg has numerous drug arrests on his record and has never been shy about his affection for Mary Jane (below)... so it does seem hard to believe he'd deny drug use in this kind of adamant fashion if he wasn't being truthful.
Your move, Swedish police.