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Aaron Hernandez: Late NFL Star Suffered "Severe CTE," Autopsy Reveals

It's quite possible that there's no more tragic story in the history of professional football than that of Aaron Hernandez.

Back in 2015, Hernandez was convicted of first-degree murder in connection with the death of Odin Lloyd.

In April, the world was shocked by the news that Hernandez had taken his own life inside his cell at the Souza-Barankowski Correctional Facility in Lancaster, Massachusetts.

Aaron Hernandez as a Patriot

Today, Hernandez's autopsy results have been made public, and they confirm what many who followed his case closely have long suspected.

Doctors have revealed to The New York Times that the 27-year-old was suffering from CTE, a brain injury that's shockingly common to football players.

According to the Times a team of neurologists stated that their examination revealed “the most severe case they had ever seen in someone of Aaron’s age.” 

Sadly, the news does not come as much of a surprise.

CTE has had devastating effects on innumerable football players, both professional and otherwise.

Aaron Hernandez in Cuffs

The condition has been linked to the suicides of Junior Seau and Tyler Sash, the decline of late New York Giants legend Frank Gifford, and countless other NFL stars.

It seems impossible that we'll ever understand the full impact of the disease on America's best-loved sport.

But today, we know a little bit more about the devastating impact it's had on Aaron Hernandez, Odin Lloyd, and their loved ones.

Now, Hernandez's fiancee, Shayanna Jenkins, is suing the NFL and the New England Patriots as a result of the diagnosis.

Lawyers for Jenkins claim "Aaron had stage 3 CTE usually seen in players with a median age of death of 67 years."

Bill Belichick, Aaron Hernandez

The suit filed this afternoon claims that the Patriots "were fully aware of the damage that could be inflicted from repetitive impact injuries and failed to disclose, treat or protect him from the dangers of such damage."

Attorneys say that Jenkins, who has a 4-year-old daughter with Hernandez, is seeking "redress for the loss of parental consortium she has experienced based on the negligent conduct of Defendants that deprived her of the companionship and society of her father, Aaron Hernandez."

The suit concludes by stating bluntly:

"On April 19, 2017, Aaron succumbed to the symptoms of CTE and committed suicide."

We'll have further updates on this developing story as more information becomes available.

Floyd Mayweather Says Donald Trump’s ‘Grab ‘Em By the Pussy’ is How Real Men Talk

Those who have followed Floyd Mayweather’s career know that he’s a pretty terrible human being. Only a terrible human being would beat his wife in front of his kids. To Mayweather’s credit, he’s turned being a terrible human being into a marketable persona that has allowed him to make millions of dollars. So, he’s not entirely dumb.

And those who have followed Donald Trump’s career know that he’s a pretty terrible human being. Only a terrible human being would be openly racist while trying to run a country. To Trump’s credit, he’s turned being a terrible human being into being the President of the United States. So, America is almost entirely dumb.

Remember when Donald Trump wanted to “grab them by the pussy?” It was a line that proved he was an egotistical sexist and yet women still voted for him. It should have sunk his campaign. But. Women. Still. Voted. For. Him.

Not so surprisingly, Floyd Mayweather had no issue with that line. Here’s what Mayweather told Hollywood Unlocked in an interview:

“People don’t like the truth… He speak like a real man spoke. Real men speak like, ‘Man, she had a fat ass. You see her ass? I had to squeeze her ass. I had to grab that fat ass.’ Right? So he talking locker room talk. Locker room talk. ‘I’m the man, you know what I’m saying? You know who I am. Yeah, I grabbed her by the pussy. And?'”

Ah, the good ol “locker room talk” excuse. If that’s such a standard in the locker room, how come we never hear about anyone else making such comments? I guess no one else is a real man because they don’t walk up to women and just grab them by the pussy.

Mayweather had more to say about Trump, but some of the quotes are so cringeworthy that I can’t even bring myself to relay them. Ah well, that’s why they pay me the big bucks:

The thing is this: too many people are worried about what Trump is doing and what other presidents are doing, instead of worrying about what you’re trying to do and what level you’re trying to get to. See, my thing is I don’t give a fuck about what nobody else doing. I got to worry about what I’m trying to do and where I’m trying to get to. A lot of times, it’s, ‘Aw, man, it’s going to affect us.’ My man, if you ain’t making 400, 500, $600 million, it’s not going to affect you no fucking way. It’s only going to affect somebody like me. I’m the motherfucker that should be tripping—paying $34 million, $25 million, $26 million [in taxes].

If only there was more to life than paying taxes.

“I feel people shy away from realness. This man didn’t do nothing. Listen, if y’all didn’t want the man in the White House, y’all should have voted the other way. It ain’t like he went and robbed—he done his homework. He did what he had to do and he got there.”

Well, he’s got us there.

The three faces of America. Good job, America.

Adrien Broner Seems Nice

Pro boxer Adrien Broner was taking snaps with fans in Vegas over the weekend when he got all huffy. Broner was caught on video pushing his female friend who was trying to calm him down and then punching a random guy in the face.

No one knows what set Broner off. If I had to take a wholly uneducated guess, it’s because he wanted to go 34 and 3.

Wrestling Fans Freak Out Because Ronda Rousey Speaks

Ronda Rousey may or may not be debuting in the WWE in the near future, but that’s not going to stop WWE from acting like she’ll be debuting in the near future.

Rousey has multiple ties to WWE, first appearing ringside at SummerSlam in 2014 and then stepping into the ring at WrestleMania 31 where she tossed around Triple H and Stephanie McMahon during an interview segment. Four Horsewomen stablemate Shayna Baszler is a finalist in the WWE Mae Young Classic while another stablemate, Marina Shafir, is married to WWE superstar Roderick Strong.

In a pre-taped segment at the Mae Young Classic, MMA’s Four Horsewomen (Rousey, Baszler, Jessamyn Duke, Shafir) challenged WWE’s Four Horsewomen (Bayley, Charlotte Flair, Sasha Banks, Becky Lynch).

Rousey says, “you name the time, you name the place” before the six girls just stare at each other and nothing happens.

DRAMA!

This segment was shot months ago during the filming of the Mae Young Classic. Rousey’s group and Flair’s group, both of whom ripped off their name from Ric Flair’s stable, both sat ringside and taunted each other with four fingers.

Rousey is reportedly training for an in-ring run, but if and when that happens remains to be seen. Her MMA career is likely over following back-to-back KO defeats, so wrestling remains a strong option. She can work limited dates, win every match because it’s a pre-determined sport, and not get legitimately punched and kicked in the head.

Plus, Vince McMahon loves stars from other sports and would cater to all of her demands. If she could get that Brock Lesnar schedule/money, she’d be a fool to turn it down.

Her wrestling debut will be on hold for at least a month or so as she got married to Travis Browne last weekend.

Happiest day of my life….

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Forever and Always

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That month could turn into well over a year if Rousey is as serious about wanting his babies as she was following her loss to Holly Holm.

Tom Brady: Caught Lying About Floyd Mayweather Friendship?

As expected, Floyd Mayweather defeated Conor McGregor Saturday night in a fight that was far more entertaining than it had any right to be.

Of course, now that his career in the ring is over, Mayweather will likely spend the rest of his days engaged in the other kind of battle he's become famous for.

Floyd Mayweather in Training

No, we're not talking about the many incidents of spousal abuse he's been arrested for over the years.

We're talking about the odd, passive-aggressive verbal sparring between Floyd and random celebrities that seems to take up much of the boxer's time.

The most high-profile example in the past year saw Floyd getting dissed by former friend Justin Bieber, who decided to cut ties with the Money Man as a result of Mayweather's ungodly ways.

(Strip clubs and Moet don't jibe with the Biebs' newly Bible-thumping lifestyle.)

Now, Floyd is in a tift with another talented, but widely-despised pretty boy.

And amazingly, he's found a frenemy who might be even more universally-disliked than Bieber.

Tom Brady Pic

Asked about his celebrity friends in a recent interview, Mayweather stated that he and Tom Brady are pretty much besties.

"That's a close friend of mine. Tom Brady is a very, very close friend," Mayweather said.

"An unbelievable guy with unbelievable talent...he's a great guy. Actually, Tom Brady texted me yesterday."

In case you didn't get the point that he and Tom are bros for life, Mayweather continued:

"We have a cool friendship. He texted me and asked me 'How's everything going?' And I texted him back: 'Everything is cool, how you doing? How's the family?' And he said, 'Everything is going A-OK.'"

Wow, sounds like they're pretty tight.

Unless, of course, you ask Tom Brady about his supposed BFF.

Tom Brady With Gisele Bundchen

Fortunately, that's just what a pair of Boston radio hosts did this week, and the results were hilariously awkward.

After repeating that he's only met Floyd "a couple of times," Brady responded with a curt "no" when asked if he and Mayweather are friends.

"No, I met him a couple of times," Brady said, clearly dying to move on to a new topic.

"I think he's a great fighter. That was a great fight the other night."

We hate to side with Floyd on ... well, on anything, really, but Mayweather is probably telling the truth here.

TMZ is reporting that Floyd was spotted video conferencing with Brady during a press conference just before his fight with McGregor.

Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen at 2017 MET Gala

For boxers, every fight is one of the biggest days of their life, so if they're video chatting with you the night before, you're probably more than just some dude they met a couple times.

In all likelihood, the Patriots QB is just trying to manage his public image after the debacle that ensued last summer when the world learned that Brady and Donald Trump are friends.

Anyone who watched the Deflategate press conference knows old Tom Terrific isn't the most media-savvy guy on the planet but watching that guy who used to make inappropriate comments about your wife at cocktail parties become the most powerful man in the world is enough to teach anyone a lesson.

Michaels Phelps Raced a Shark, Now Wants Conor McGregor

Michael Phelps watched the big Conor McGregor vs. Floyd Mayweather bout on Saturday and thought to himself, “Is it that easy to con America out of millions of dollars that goes directly into my pocket?”

Yes, Michael, it is. That’s why he decided to do this:

While we’re all laughing at the prospect of the greatest swimmer of all-time taking on a guy with no competitive swimming experience, give it six months.

If this race were to become official today, in six months people would be saying the following things:

*Phelps is old and past his prime. Conor is younger and at his physical peak.
*Phelps has no tape to look at on Conor. He doesn’t know what to expect when Conor gets in the pool.
*Think of all the awkward angles Conor can use to obtain victory.
*Conor only needs one stroke.

Then show a bunch of footage of Conor training really hard, edit some clips of him racing against Ryan Lochte, make sure to include that Phelps is doing nothing but eating pizza, and boom: Conor is now a +200 underdog and I can make a ton of money on Michael Phelps.

I’d say the idea of Conor training for six months to face off against retired legends at the sport they dominated is a good one, but I watched it years ago. It was called Shaq Vs. and it wasn’t as entertaining as you may think.

In fact, Shaq raced Phelps:

The difference between Shaq vs. Phelps and Conor vs. Phelps is that it the whole circus lasted 42 minutes and was on free television. That definitely beats six months of meaningless words and paying $100 bucks for an outcome that is already known.

Plus, NBA fans are secure with their sport. If Conor leads one second of a race against Phelps, MMA fans are going to denounce the sport of swimming, declare that Conor would have won with more training, and then beg Phelps to fight Conor in the Octagon.

Michael Phelps and Nicole Johnson: Expecting Baby #2!

Olympic legend Michael Phelps and his wife Nicole are expecting their second child, the duo announced in dueling social media posts.

Phelps and the former Nicole Johnson are already parents to a little boy named Boomer ... who seems pretty hyped to be a big brother!

Nicole and Boomer Phelps

The greatest swimmer ever wrote, alongside the photo above: “Number 2 on the way!!!! So excited!! Wonder if it’s a boy or a girl??”

We too wonder this, but there's no debating that Boomer is about as precious as it gets as he holds his mom's pregnancy test.

(Which we presume is positive, hence the post.)

Added Nicole in her own Instagram post featuring the same photo of herself and her son, “Lil mans going to be a Big Brother!!!”

The couple met in 2007, started dating in 2009 and temporarily broke up prior to the 2012 Summer Olympics before reuniting in 2014.

Michael's been with her through a lot of ups and downs in life, but never has he seemed happier than right here, right now.

Nicole, Michael and Boomer Phelps Photo

Not to be left out, Boomer, 15 months, says he's looking forward to big brotherhood as well, according to his personal Instagram.

“So excited to see what mama is having!! Do I get to have a brother or a sister?!?” Phelps and Johnson's son "wrote" earlier.

Nicole and Michael welcomed Boomer in May 2016, just months before he capped off his historic Olympic career in Rio that summer.

They also got married last year - two times!

Michael and Nicole, both 32, tied the knot in June and then wed again in late October during a larger event in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico.

Clearly, parenthood suits them, as he said earlier this year they were already thinking about number two in terms of when, not it.

Michael Phelps and Nicole Johnson Pregnancy Announcement

“Nicole has recently brought up that she would like a girl!” Phelps told People. “We definitely want more kids, it just depends on when."

“I’m sure I’m getting pressure.”

Hey, at least she knows the swimmer's boys can ... sorry, that's not even that funny at the end of the day, but we couldn't resist.

Phelps said Nicole’s pregnancy with Boomer wasn’t planned, but this time around revealed, “[We’re] trying to get moving on some things!”

"We are so fortunate to have a healthy and happy baby and hopefully more coming soon, but we don’t know when,” Michael added.

“We’re going through life everyday happy and blessed with what we have. But I hope to have more kids in the future,” he said.

Now in retirement, the winner of an eye-popping 23 Olympic medals from 2004, 2008, 2012 and 2016 combined is quite content.

He may miss the competition sometimes, but having devoted his whole life to the sport, extra time at home with the kid is great as well.

So many milestones, every day.

“I think that is the coolest thing, watching him grow," he said of his adorable young son. "Just watching him figure out new things.”

Congrats to the whole family!

Grandmother’s Family Beats Her, Shaves Her Head Because Her Football Game Was on Too Loud

Two Pittsburgh natives who prefer hockey to football beat the hell out of their mom/grandma when she wouldn’t turn down the Steelers game.

Delores Amorino, 40, and Sarah Amorino, 17, got angry when their 70-year-old mother/grandmother was listening to a Steelers preseason game too loudly and instead of dealing with the situation in a rational way, they went the complete opposite direction.

According to the affidavit, Delores twisted her mother’s arm and Sarah hit her in the face with a broom, choked her, and shaved her head.

“The victim was unhappy with the volume of the TV after the defendants turned the volume low, so the victim locked herself in the bedroom and turned on her radio. The defendants broke the door jam [sic], entered the victim’s room saying, “you don’t need to listen to the game’,” and began abusing her,”

The alleged abuse occurred Sunday and Monday, which leads me to ask, where the hell was the husband/father?

You know the mom has been plotting this for a long time. She probably still remembers all those times her mom wouldn’t let her go out on a Sunday afternoon because she didn’t finish her homework. Or how her mom took away her makeup kit because she didn’t clean her room. And you know the 17-year-old doesn’t have any friends if she’s hanging out with her mom and grandma during the final days of summer.

Sarah and Delores are being charged with aggravated assault, criminal conspiracy, and strangulation. Oh wait, there are more charges. Add on terroristic threats, false imprisonment, and simple assault. Still not enough? Good, because there’s also harassment and criminal mischief.

Eight friggin’ charges all because grandma wanted to listen to a preseason football game like she did as a kid. Sure, it’s preseason and it doesn’t matter, but breaking the radio would have sufficed. Beating, choking, and shaving is a bit much.

At least the Steelers defeated the Falcons 17-13.

Bodybuilder Dallas McCarver Chokes to Death on Food

You know, I’m kind of a pudgy guy, and I worry about what that means for my health. Today is one of those days where a sad story reminds us all that no matter how fit you are, you could still die at any time for any reason. Professional bodybuilder Dallas McCarver, called Big Country by his friends, was in excellent physical condition, but that wasn’t enough to save him from going out the same way as Mama Cass.

According to TMZ, McCarver apparently choked to death on his dinner Monday night:

We spoke with McCarver’s girlfriend, WWE superstar Dana Brooke, who says the 26-year-old was found unconscious just after midnight Tuesday morning by a friend at his home shortly after they spoke on the phone.

McCarver was transported to a local hospital where he was pronounced dead. Law enforcement sources tell TMZ Sports there appears to be no signs of foul play.

Brooke says McCarver told her he was about to make dinner and the last thing he said to her was, “I love you. Goodbye.”

Brooke says the cause of death is believed to be choking on food … and it does not appear McCarver was trying to harm himself.

McCarver had worked out earlier in the day on Monday and seemed to be doing just fine … no signs of a medical problem while hitting a chest press with 160 lbs dumbbells.

It is a sad thing to see someone so young and healthy die in a tragic accident. In light of this, let’s all take a second and learn how to perform the Heimlich Maneuver on ourselves to make sure this sort of thing can be avoided in the future. And if at all possible, share your ham sandwich with Karen Carpenter; you could save two lives.

This off season is off to a great start! Already waking up as heavy as I want to be at 325lbs not just to grow select amounts in needed areas and keep the midsection tight! Can't wait to see what next year brings. Yes, next year… incase you don't I unfortunately will not be competing in this years Mr. Olympia contest. I told myself if I couldn't win the Arnold I'd take the rest of the year off to improve. As hard as it is I'm making myself stick to that. That being said I have my sights set and full steam ahead for the 2018 Arnold and Lord willing the Olympia after that! After competing the past two years in the Olympia missing it is going to kill me, but I know inside it's the right move and will pay off in the long run! #dallasmccarver #bigcountry #OffSeason

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ESPN Pulls Asian-American Announcer Robert Lee Fearing He May Try to Take Gettysburg

Corporations are afraid of being made of. The larger the corporation, the more afraid of being made fun of they are, and corporations don’t get much larger than Disney. In a bid to avoid having internet memes made at their expense, ESPN moved an Asian-American college football announcer named Robert Lee from the upcoming William and Mary at UVA game and will be sending him instead to Pittsburgh on opening weekend. The move was made because Lee’s name is similar to that of Confederate general Robert E. Lee and Virginia was recently the site of a terrorist attack by a white supremacist.

While initial reports of this story were thought to be false, ESPN made the following statement confirming the reports:

“We collectively made the decision with Robert to switch games as the tragic events in Charlottesville were unfolding, simply because of the coincidence of his name. In that moment it felt right to all parties. It’s a shame that this is even a topic of conversation and we regret that who calls play by play for a football game has become an issue.”

According to USA Today, ESPN made the move to avoid “potential ridicule or embarrassment.” Now to take a big drink of water and check Twitter to see how that turned out.

So, well done ESPN. Just imagine the potential ribbing you would have gotten if a guy named Robert Lee called a football game in Virginia. Thank god you avoided that embarrassment, right?

Jon Jones Tests Positive for Anabolic Steroid

At UFC 214, Jon Jones made his triumphant return to the octagon to settle the bad blood he had with Daniel Cormier. He ended the fight with a head kick and vicious ground and pound until the ref stopped the fight. It seemed like that night would be Jon’s redemption story after having served a 1 year ban for failing a USADA drug test in 2016. That time before a planned bout with Cormier.

To no one’s surprise, that won’t be the case because Jon Jones is going to continue being Jon Jones. On Tuesday, news came that Jones had failed another USADA drug test. This time testing positive for the anabolic steroid Turinabol which recently has had its window of detection increased from days to six months or more under new detection methods. As a result, Jones could be stripped of the title and banned for up to 4 years.

The last time Jones failed a drug test, he blamed it on dick pills saying he didn’t know it had a banned substance in it. This time he can say something more believable like someone had mixed it into all the coke he was snorting as a practical joke.

A rep for Jones released this statement,

“We are all at a complete loss for words right now. Jon, his trainers, his nutritionists and his entire camp have worked tirelessly and meticulously the past 12 months to avoid this exact situation. We are having the samples tested again to determine the validity or source of contamination. Jon is crush by this news and we are doing whatever we can as a team to support him.”

Jones would probably be the greatest light heavyweight of all time if it wasn’t for his uncanny ability to screw himself over. He’s like a real life version of Wile E. Coyote.

Anyway, let’s see what Mark Hunt has to say about this.

Most Awesome Nut Shot From a First Pitch You’ll See This Year

Nut shots will never not be funny. If monkeys had stopped laughing over hitting each other in the balls, evolution would’ve happened much faster

Jordan Leandre threw out the ceremonial first pitch at the St. Louis Cardinals – Boston Red Sox game Wednesday night. Someone forgot to tell him to aim towards the mound. His pitch went straight to a photographer’s balls.

Bull’s eye.

That cameraman’s dick gonna look like a zipper because of the baseball stitch marks left from Leandre’s poor throw.

Don’t hate on Leandre though. He’s a cancer survivor. When he had it at age 4, he became well-known for singing the anthem at Fenway Park. That was back in 2004. Thirteen years later, his pitching has improved only slightly. Leandre’s a high school pitcher too, which is odd.

Tony Capobianco, the cameraman, is ok. He even posted the photo he took right before taking a ball to the groin.

What a survivor.

Girls Little League Team Kicked Out of World Series for Snapchatting Themselves Flipping Off the Camera

Kids can’t have fun anymore. The Atlee junior league softball team from Mechanicsville, Virginia, Snapchatted themselves flipping the bird. That, by itself, isn’t too bad.

Evidently, though, those middle fingers were aimed at one of their previous opponents. It came in response to a game against the Kirkland, Washington team at the Junior League World Series. The tournament, funny enough, is being hosted by the Kirkland team.

Supposedly, Kirkland was stealing Atlee’s signs during a game between the two. That transgression even got a player and coach from Kirkland’s team thrown out. These players shouldn’t have gotten involved. They should’ve done what every little league does. Let the dads come on the field and fight each other.

Instead, the Atlee team snapped their response.

Once the photo came out, Atlee manager Scott Currie tried to do damage control. He had the team delete the photo immediately and made them apologize to the entire Kirkland team in person. I would laugh my ass off if the Atlee Little League team then snapped out a photo of every single team member and coach flipping off the camera. I’m sure these Atlee team members totally meant their apologies too.

That act of contrition didn’t help.

The Little League head office, in the most newsworthy event that’s ever happened in their existence, dropped the hammer. They explained:

After discovering a recent inappropriate social media post involving members of Atlee Little League’s Junior League Softball tournament team, the Little League® International Tournament Committee has removed the Southeast Region from the 2017 Junior League Softball World Series for violation of Little League’s policies regarding unsportsmanlike conduct, inappropriate use of social media, and the high standard that Little League International holds for all its participants.

League officials then banned the whole Atlee team from the tournament. Ironically, the officials then had Kirkland sub in for Atlee in the championship game. Kirland lost 7-1 to USA Central.

That doesn’t make much sense. You wouldn’t ban an NFL team from playing just because one player gets popped.

Those teens learned a really great lesson from this. Not about sportsmanship. About narcs and how they’re everywhere.

Conor McGregor’s Sparring Partner Quits After Conor Leaks Photos

We’re three weeks away from Conor McGregor vs. Floyd Mayweather, which means we still have three more weeks of nonsense to deal with.

The latest nonsense comes from camp McGregor, who leaked photos of the UFC lightweight champion knocking down pro boxer Paulie Malignaggi.

Malignaggi, who had been helping McGregor prepare for the bout, took exception to the photos coming out and the implication behind them.

McGregor’s camp made it seem like Conor knocked Malignaggi in the sparring contest, while Malignaggi claims that photo was taken after he got shoved down. In order to prove who is right, the boxer wants footage released.

Good luck with that, Paulie. Malignaggi went on to say that he consistently got the better of McGregor in the sessions.

I guess we’ll never know without video.

Following the leaking of these photos, Malignaggi announced that he would no longer be helping McGregor prepare for the August 26 bout.

This whole event is a dumpster fire. You want to know how I know that Conor has no shot against Mayweather? Because stuff like this leaks online. Whenever a fighter is given no chance in a fight, something always comes out from training camp that makes it look like they have a chance.

When James Toney, a professional boxer, was scheduled to fight Randy Couture, a legendary UFC fighter, stories came out how Toney was submitting pro MMA fighters in training camp. People took notice and thought Toney was going to be real trouble for Couture. Couture submitted him in the first round without getting touched.

Even if Conor knocked down Malignaggi, who cares? Paulie is 4-4 with 3 losses by KO or TKO over the last five years. He’s not even close to Mayweather’s level. However, he is part of the Showtime broadcast team for the fight. I’m sure he’ll be able to remain impartial.

This fight and everything involved with it can’t be over soon enough. Mayweather can go back to running from the IRS. Conor can embarrass guys in MMA. And we can never have this “boxing vs. MMA” discussion again.

Steph Curry Crashes House Party and Chugs Bud Lights

Steph Curry proves he’s just like one of us. If you were a rich, professional basketball player worth $200+ million dollars. Hey, you remember when you tried to crash that random house party and they let you in, gave you beer and photographed it for the Internet? No, because that doesn’t happen to schlubs like you.

For Curry though, you can walk right in with teammate Kent Bazemore.

The 29-year-old NBA superstar was in Newport, Rhode Island on Saturday night for the wedding of his ex-Warrior teammate, Harrison Barnes — and after the party, he was on the hunt for the after-party.

So, he rounded up a gang of 5 dudes — including Kent Bazemore — and rolled over to a nearby house that was bumpin’ loud music.

They knocked and asked if they could join in — and the gang of 20-something-year-olds inside immediately passed over the Bud Lights.

The hosts tried to get Curry to shotgun a beer, but no, Curry said he’d prefer to sip his. So dainty.

No afterparty is complete without @stephencurry30 randomly rolling in asking to party..

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Soccer Team Bonds Over Handjobs

Imagine Tom Brady jerking off his linemen. That could be a problem. It certainly was an issue for this Brazilian soccer team.

Sport Clube Gaucho are a Brazilian third-division side who haven’t been relevant since they briefly made the first division in the 1980s. That changed, though, when four players had their contracts rescinded after a video showing one of them jerking off two of his teammates in the club showers leaked.

Huh, the team’s marketing department really thought outside the box for this viral video. If they wanted publicity for their team, they sure got it. Whoever proposed this video to the team deserves an award. “I’m gonna need two volunteers…to be jerked off by a third volunteer…all to be filmed by a fourth volunteer.” Think of the views!

The video is, how shall I put this, very graphic and very NSFW.

Once club president Gilmar Rosso heard about this, he kicked off all four players from the team. Not because of homophobia or anything. Seriously, it wasn’t. They were kicked off the team for doing it on club property. But marketing told us to do it!

“The only thing we have to answer to is the making of the video inside the club dressing room.”

Rosso added that he wanted to protect the players from potential heckling. Well, there’ll definitely be a lot of that.

Rosso also said:

“When I hit play, I deleted it, I think it’s disgusting. Outside business hours, we have nothing to do with the situation. If they want to get drunk, [be] gay or not, that’s their problem.”

Whoa whoa whoa…some guy jerking off two other guys makes them all gay now? I believe that’s called team bonding.

[Image: Deadspin]

Fan Wanted to Buy UFC Fighter Justin Kish’s Shit-Stained Underwear for $15K

A down payment on a house, a used or maybe even new car, a wedding, a kingdom in Bali. These are all things you could spend $15,000 on. If you’re a rich UFC super fan, another thing you could spend $15,000 on is Justin Kish’s shit-stained underwear that was smeared in crap during her fight with Felice Herrig.

Talking to Submission Radio, Kish said someone offered her $15k for her soiled shorts to put up in his man cave. Probably to jerk off to or I don’t know what.

“The most lucrative offer I’ve got is someone messaged me and said, ‘hey, we would love to pay’ — because I didn’t get my winnings. I would say I returned back with half of what I would have liked to have had, and so the most lucrative was, ‘hey, I would like to buy whatever kind of winnings you lost, I would like to buy your shorts for that same amount to hang them up and blah, blah blah in my man cave.’

Kish thought this was disgusting, just, disgusting. So disgusting, in fact, that she hesitantly sent him her information to start the transaction.

“Some man that wanted a man cave with my shorts – he has like a UFC (shrine). He gave me his name, his email address, all these things. I really don’t want to give too much details, but that was the most lucrative offer and I’m not gonna… I mean, why?” she explained. “People are saying, ‘send them over, just go do it.’ I’m like, ‘oh, alright. Well I’ll give him my information, but I don’t see how this is actually real.’”

“What a sick, sick man,” Kish probably thought to herself as she emailed him back asking if he wanted it to be gift wrapped.

Mia Kang, Model and Muay Thai Fighter, Recommends Lots of Sex Before Fighting

Abstaining from sex before fights might work for men. For women, according to model Mia Kang, it’s the opposite. Bone away.

Kang was featured in the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit 2017 Issue.

Lately, she’s been getting into muay thai. She stopped by the MMA Fighting studios for a long interview weeks ago. Worth watching if you’re interested in muay thai.

She’s had one muay thai fight and Ariel Helwani decided to interview her for an hour. Okay, whatever. Nevermind there’s a ton of other women in the U.S. and around the world who have way more experience. But, good on her for hustling and getting on camera. She’ll probably even tell you that there’s much more deserving people who haven’t been recognized in muay thai.

How can anyone not talk about her when she says things like:

“When females have sex, testosterone levels increase, so the recommendation is to have as much sex as possible before you fight.”

Model, sex, muay thai. Who doesn’t wanna hear this?

Going by her Instagram, she did well her last fight, winning by TKO.

Round 3 TKO via vicious assault

A post shared by Mia Kang (@missmiakang) on

Kang is single and says “I am not actively out there looking,” so I guess she won’t do as well in her next fight without that added testosterone.

Floyd Mayweather Tries to Sell Conor McGregor Fight by Calling Himself Old

Training is underway for the biggest money making mismatch in boxing history. And both Conor McGregor and Floyd Mayweather are doing what they can to sell the bout. Conor is trying to sell that he can box with the best while Floyd is selling that….he’s old?

I know I’m not the same fighter I was 20 years ago, I’m not the same fighter I was 10 years ago… As a matter of fact, I’m not the same fighter I was 5 years ago,I’m just an old legend putting in work in 16 oz gloves

This isn’t the first time that Floyd has try to sell the fight by upping Conor’s chance. Floyd knows that everyone sees this as a walk in the park for him, so he’s doing his best to put doubt in the public’s mind in order to get them to cough up $100 or whatever ridiculous price this pay-per-view will be. Never tell me Floyd isn’t the smartest athlete in the world.

Conor is doing his best to hype himself, posting the following picture on Instagram:

Reach for the stars

A post shared by Conor McGregor Official (@thenotoriousmma) on

I am not there

A post shared by Conor McGregor Official (@thenotoriousmma) on

I am here

A post shared by Conor McGregor Official (@thenotoriousmma) on

Conor’s training partners must really suck if they are getting rocked by a punch that missed and are turning around to run away.

And Dana White is doing what he does best as well: Burying one fighter at the expense of himself. Except, in this case, it at least makes sense.

Can't wait for the world tour!!!! #mayweathermcgregor

A post shared by Dana White (@danawhite) on

Conor McGregor Will Be Mad at the Check Floyd Mayweather Cashes

Current UFC welterweight champion Tyron Woodley went on TMZ Sports to drop some knowledge about the Conor McGregor vs. Floyd Mayweather bout.

Here’s what I learned from the video:

*Floyd Mayweather thinks Woodley is the best fighter in the UFC. This is big because it shows that Mayweather knows who Woodley is.

*Mayweather will give Woodley some tips. I assume the first tip will be, “Stop backing up against the cage all the time.”

*Woodley is a smart man to listen to Floyd when it comes to business. I didn’t exactly learn this. Woodley is underrated in how smart he is outside the Octagon.

*Woodley wants a boxing fight down the road in order to make big money. That says a lot about how much he’s making in the UFC.

*Conor will be mad at how much Floyd will make from the fight. Well, duh. I have no doubts that Conor will collect the biggest paycheck of his career, but so will Floyd. And Floyd’s checks are always bigger. Floyd wasn’t coming back and agreeing to the fight if his payout wasn’t at least double what Conor will get.

Floyd is a genius. He’s going earn around $250 million for the easiest fight of his career.

Serena Williams is Nude and Pregnant

It’s a tradition unlike any other. Be famous, get pregnant, pose nude on the cover of a magazine. Serena Williams is just the latest star to follow tradition.

Does Demi Moore get royalties every time this happens? In a non-coincidence, Annie Leibovitz shot both Moore and Williams. At least we know she’s making bank on this whole thing.

In the Vanity Fair cover story, Williams talks about meeting her fiance and Reddit co-founder Alexis Ohanian.

“This big guy comes and he just plops down at the table next to us, and I’m like, ‘Huh! All these tables and he’s sitting here?,'” Williams told Vanity Fair, adding that her Australian friend, Zane Haupt, pretended that there was a rat around to get Ohanian to move. “He kind of refuses and he looks at us. And he’s like, ‘Is there really a rat here?'” To which Williams responded, “No, we just don’t want you sitting there. We’re going to use that table.” However, that only prompted Ohanian to say, “I’m from Brooklyn. I see rats all the time.” Williams then invited him to sit with her friends and the rest, as they say, is history.

Wait, is that a legit pickup line? “I’m from Brooklyn. I see rats all the time.” Is that how you land world famous athletes? I respect this guy’s game.

Someone Shat Themselves During Their UFC Fight

Oklahoma City hosted UFC Fight Night on Sunday which featured a women’s strawweight bout between Felice Herrig and Justine Kish.

Herrig won by decision despite multiple attempts at finishing the fight. The closest of which came during a few deep rear naked choke that everyone thought Herrig had sunk. Except for Kish who fought her way out of it… but not before shitting herself.

Holy. Crap. She literally squeezed the shit out of her.

The shit didn’t even really get cleaned up between rounds. The other fighters had to scuffle around in it. This is as shitty as a fight can get.

Dad Loves the Mets More Than His Baby

Did you catch the game last night? It was the eight inning, the Dodgers were up 6-3, and one Mets fan put his baby’s life in danger.

A foul ball came his way, and the fan knew he had to catch it. Nothing could stop him. He jumped for it, reached out, and seemed to have forgotten that he was holding his infant. Don’t worry though, he caught the ball.

Oh, and the baby is OK too. That’s probably the important thing here, right?

This guy is getting it from all sides. Keith Olbermann is calling him an idiot for one.

But perhaps more importantly to this guy, his wife does not look happy. She snatched the baby away from him, and chastised him, as he probably deserved.

What do you think is making this guy the saddest? That his favorite sports commentator thinks he’s a moron? That his baby could have died? That his wife is never going to speak to him again?

Nah, I get the feeling that he’s mostly bummed that the Mets lost.

Conor McGregor’s Old Sparring Partner Doesn’t Like His Chances Vs. Floyd Mayweather

Chris van Heerden, who was a boxing champion, is a former sparring partner of Conor McGregor. How does he think the MMA superstar will fare in his boxing match? Let’s just say he’s Team Mayweather.

Why? He told of a time when he sparred with McGregor and he embarrassed him, basically. To make it even worse, he mentioned that he was not in fighting shape at the time either, having just returned from vacation. According to him, he was able to hit the Irishman as many times as he wanted. This doesn’t bode well for the upcoming match.

While McGregor IS much younger, he’s also switching to an unfamiliar combat sport. He’s going to have to learn how to go against every fighting instinct that he’s ever had. Normally, he might be looking for a kick or an arm bar or a way to get his opponent on the ground to grapple. He can’t do that in boxing, while Mayweather’s got decades of boxing moves in his DNA. That’s why van Heerden has a point about how lopsided this match could be.

One thing, though. McGregor has over two months to learn some boxing punches, though learning slipping punches and defense would be a priority. Otherwise, Pretty Boy’s going to tattoo the Notorious One’s face more than Mike Tyson’s Maori Warrior ink.

Rihanna Made A Weird Ass Video To Console LeBron James After The NBA Finals

Rihanna loves the Cleveland Cavaliers and LeBron James. She loves them so much that she’s willing to get into a beef with Kevin Durant during one of the games. She heckled him during a free throw and he barked at her. But she ultimately had to watch LeBron and the Cavs fall to the Golden State Warriors in five games. There wouldn’t be a comeback this time. She was sad about it and tried to console him with a video on her Instagram. No.. not THAT kind of video! She made a Lion King video where she was Simba, LeBron was Mufasa and Durant was Scar. Yeah. You need to see this.

Durant and LeBron were like Mufasa and Scar, jawing at each other the entire Finals. It’s like KD is undergoing a metamorphosis into a cold-blooded badass right before our eyes. Watch his interactions with the Cleveland superstar – he was NOT backing down at all. In earlier years, he might have deferred. The seeds for that hardened shell were planted when he and Russell Westbrook had some on-court spats during the regular season. Then he proceeded to help the Warriors crush the Thunder like the cockroaches that they are during the playoffs. Now he has LeBron’s crown.

Of course, everyone would love to have a superfan like Rihanna. Usually, when people think of these “superfans”, they tend to picture Kathy Bates’ Annie Wilks in Misery, not someone as lovely as the singer from Barbados. Just as long as she doesn’t suddenly start showing up at LeBron’s house uninvited.

Video of Bruce Lee’s Only Real Fight is Found

When we think of the late Bruce Lee, we think of one of the smoothest martial artists ever in movie history. We almost never saw him anywhere but the silver screen. Now we can see him in his only real fight, a video that shows him fighting an MMA-style match with one of his students, Ted Wong. Let’s just watch the humiliation unfold here:

Lee’s fighting style was a lot more methodical than what we see in today’s MMA, where it can reach a street-brawling level very quickly. Yes, he was wearing padding and head gear, which is not currently worn. He seemed on the defensive in the video, but I’m sure that he would have immediately adjusted his style for the change in attire. He would more than hold his own against today’s fighters like Conor McGregor. Of course, I couldn’t see the 141-pound Lee moving up in weight class to fight bigger guys like Georges St. Pierre or Chuck Liddell.

There are cool videos that this guy remastered, including Lee hitting someone with a one-inch punch. Yeah, it’s got to be seen to be believed. Just jump ahead to 2:16 or so in the video. He also humiliates a black belt with his speed and also beats someone else while wearing a blindfold.

Yeah, Lee did have a lot of choreographed scenes in movies. A lot of people think that he often had takes like this (go to about 3:10)

Sure, he may have had to have some retakes, but that other footage shows that he was the real deal. Chances are good that he would have won at least one title if he were brought into today’s MMA while in the prime of his life. I wonder what Dana White would have done then.

Conor McGregor Taunts Floyd Mayweather Again

There was a time when boxers and other fighters only had two venues to attack each other verbally before any fights – press conferences and through the media. Well, that’s changed with the advent of social media, especially with Twitter and Instagram. Now they can dog each other 24/7 just by using their phones.

Conor McGregor, the superstar of the MMA world, is supposed to fight Floyd Mayweather, whom many consider the best pound-for-pound boxer in history. The Irish mixed martial arts stud is already trying to climb in the pugilist’s head.

McGregor made a back-handed compliment in this Instagram post – being pointed about how old the 40-year-old Mayweather is. Forget back-handed… he pretty much punched him in the face.

Man, much respect to Floyd Senior still getting a few rounds in at the gym. I hope I can still train at that age. Respect.

A post shared by Conor McGregor Official (@thenotoriousmma) on

While it’s not exactly Billie Jean King/Bobby Riggs – Mayweather is in far better shape at the age of 40 than people half his age, he’s still looking at fighting two things – time… and a 28-year-old McGregor, who is in the prime of his athletic career. So, yeah… the Notorious does have a point with his diss of Mayweather. It seems like boxing always waits forever to give the fans what they want. Take the Mayweather/Manny Pacquaio fight. Both were well past their primes when they fought.

Of course, there’s always the possibility that this fight doesn’t even happen, even with all the hype and the possible Aug. 26 date – though it seems to have vanished into thin air again. Mayweather may wake up one day and find that his 40-year-old body is tired of training and go back into retirement. Then again, he has such a monumental ego that he would probably view that as a total failure. I’m betting that the fight will happen, though it probably will wind up underwhelming everyone.

Golden State Warriors May Skip Pointless White House Photo Op

We have our first “sports team skipping White House visit” story in the Donald Trump era. The Golden State Warriors, who captured the NBA title on Monday night, will reportedly skip their visit to the White House.

The Warriors released an official statement that said, “We have not received an invitation to the White House, but will make those decisions when and if necessary.”

I hope Trump gets ahead of this and doesn’t bother the Warriors or any other sports team for a White House visit. It’s a dumb tradition anyway. You may recall the Patriots, sans Tom Brady, visited the White House after their Super Bowl victory. That whole thing turned into a mess that ended in a Twitter war. Because that’s how everything ends nowadays.

No word yet on what the Pittsburgh Penguins are going to do.

Dana White Continues to Bury His Best Fighters

UFC flyweight champion Demetrious Johnson is none too pleased with Dana White and the UFC. He recently accused Dana and the company of bullying him, failing to properly market him, and threatening to close the entire flyweight division among other things.

As expected, Dana White told his side of the story to TMZ.

“When he did his deal, he didn’t want Pay-Per-View. He wanted upfront money, no Pay-Per-View. He wasn’t very confident in his abilities to sell Pay-Per-Views. He has the lowest-selling Pay-Per-View in the history of the UFC in the modern era.”

And now he wants Pay-Per-View points, so what’s the issue? Dana is right in that Johnson doesn’t sell Pay-Per-Views, which means giving him $1 for every buy would likely cost the company less than giving him money upfront. The company is just cheap despite selling for billions.

“I think a fight between him and T.J. Dillashaw would be something that people would actually be interested in and could sell Pay-Per-Views and could make money. But he absolutely refuses to fight the guy. It’s ridiculous.”

Dana completely misses Johnson’s point if he thinks DJ doesn’t want to fight Dillashaw. He’ll fight him, he just agreed to fight with Ray Borg prior to Dillashaw’s name coming up. He doesn’t want to take away Ray’s title opportunity and doesn’t think it’s right that Dillashaw, who has never fought at flyweight, should jump the line. But delivering on a promise is something Dana doesn’t know much about.

So the idea that Dillashaw vs. Johnson would do significantly better than Johnson vs. anyone else is farcical.

Johnson is also hellbent on breaking the title defense record, which he’ll do if he wins his next title fight, and is concerned about Dillashaw not making weight. Also, if Johnson has the worst buyrates in the modern era, Dillashaw has the second worst. So the idea that Dillashaw vs. Johnson would do significantly better than Johnson vs. anyone else is farcical.

“We’re not marketing him right? We built a TV show around him. ‘The Ultimate Fighter’ was about what an incredible fighter he is. We put him on Fox many times and tried to build him and it is what it is. It’s not me.”

The Ultimate Fighter stopped be relevant 10 years ago, so building that around him is like Friends trying to spin-off Joey today. And putting the guy on FOX and actually marketing him are two different things.

“The media claims he’s the pound for pound best fighter in the world. I think Conor McGregor is the pound for pound best fighter in the world.”

Keep in mind that ten seconds before Dana said this, he called Demetrious “the best pound-for-pound fighter in the world. He also not only called Johnson the best pound-for-pound fighter in the world in April, he considered him “the greatest of all-time.”

“Never once did I threaten to shut down the flyweight division. I told him we had been talking about shutting down the division for years.”

Dana White, ladies and gentlemen.

Wanderlei Silva Wants Chael Sonnen to ‘Suck His Balls’ Before They Fight

Wanderlei Silva and Chael Sonnen are scheduled to punch each other in the face next weekend. But, before that happens, Wanderlei would like a little foreplay.

This fight is going to be a car wreck that you can’t help but watch. These two were scheduled to meet five years ago, but it fell through and both men agreed to never fight again until they fought each other. Sonnen broke that promise, losing to Tito Ortiz in January of this year, but Sonnen is a known liar.

More confusing than Silva’s wanting of Sonnen to “suck his balls” is that Silva either doesn’t know how blow jobs work or his penis bends at an 180-degree angle. That’s a bad selling point for future MMA fighters. “Accumulate so much brain damage you’ll forget how blow jobs work” or “get your penis bent.”