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UFC Fighter Donald ‘Cowboy’ Cerrone ‘Happy to Be Alive’ After a Cave Dive Goes Wrong

UFC star Donald “Cowboy” Cerrone just fought one of his toughest battles, and it wasn’t in the ring.

On Friday, the 35-year-old revealed he nearly lost his life while cave diving in Cozumel, Mexico.

“Today I can honestly say I’m Happy to be alive. We had catastrophic worst case scenario on our dive,” Cerrone captioned an Instagram photo, which shows images of an under water cave.

“Total silt out, lost the cave line and lost my buddy couldn’t see my own hands was the most scariest moment to this day in my life.”

“I remember kissing Danger and Lindsay and saying ‘I’ll see y’all soon, don’t worry daddy’s coming home!!!!” Cerrone wrote in reference to his fiancé and their 2-month-old son.

“Told the grim reaper ‘Not today Mother F——‘ I’m figuring this the f— and coming home !!” Cerrone added.

A post shared by Donald Cerrone (@cowboycerrone) on Aug 17, 2018 at 2:05pm PDT

Cerrone’s fans expressed their concern for the star following his potentially fatal incident, writing comments like “Glad your ok @cowboycerrone we could’ve lost a real one ☝.”

Another fan said, “Cowboy… you gotta chill brother. Calculated risks. You already have done a ton of crazy death defying s— in your life lol. You have a family now.”

Figured I take a little flight this morning. Almost time to buy my first plane ✈

A post shared by Donald Cerrone (@cowboycerrone) on Aug 4, 2018 at 10:12am PDT

//www.instagram.com/embed.js

Cave diving is considered a very technical and risky form of recreational diving. In many cases, scuba divers have to carry a spare oxygen tank and switch out tanks mid-dive.

Cerrone was diving a cave system known as the Cenote “El Aerolito” which stretches almost 12 miles inland. The water is a blend of salt and fresh and aside from the dangerous caves that can collapse and are also easy to get lost in, there is also an abundance of crocodiles.

Cerrone holds a UFC fight record of 33-11 and his love for mixed-martial arts began at a young age.

RELATED ARTICLE: Diving Accident Leaves Promising High School Pitcher Paralyzed from the Chest Down

Happy Birthday DACson Danger Cerrone

A post shared by Donald Cerrone (@cowboycerrone) on Jun 28, 2018 at 6:11pm PDT

//www.instagram.com/embed.js

“In high school because I had an attitude and a cowboy hat,” Cerrone said, according to UFC’s website, which can also explain the nickname.

“After that I messed around with some amateur kickboxing and did pretty well. Then I went pro in RING OF FIRE show and moved on to MMA.”

“It has just been a progression.”

Cerrone is set to go up against Mike Perry on Nov. 10.

Donald Trump Tries to Dunk on LeBron James, Calls Him Stupid

Donald Trump is too short, too out of shape and possesses hands that are way to small to dunk a basketball.

But the President of the United States nevertheless took some time out of his late Friday night to try and slam one home on...

... LeBron James?

Donald Trump at Lectern

Yes.

The very stable genius, who thinks one needs an ID to purchase groceries, jumped on Twitter around midnight and Tweeted the following about the new Los Angeles Lakers star:

Lebron James was just interviewed by the dumbest man on television, Don Lemon. He made Lebron look smart, which isn’t easy to do.

I like Mike!

There are many things to point out about this Tweet.

For starters, Lemon interviewed LeBron on Monday night, meaning there are only one of two options here:

  1. Trump used TiVo to record the interview and watched it days later.
  2. Trump was simply watching CNN, the network he often claims "sucks" and is terrible and is full of "fake news," when it re-aired the Q&A.

Either would be a totally normal thing for the Commander-in-Chief to do, right?

donald tweet

Secondly, LeBron James was interviewed by Lemon (along with other outlets) because he just opened a public school in Akron, Ohio.

To reiterate: James donated millions and millions of dollars to the I Promise school, an institution for at-risk children in his hometown that will offer:

- Free college tuition to the University of Arkon for all graduates.

- All students a free uniform, free bicycle and free helmet.

- Job assistance and GED training for the parents of all students.

- A food pantry for families.

- Free breakfast, lunch and snacks for all students.

One could easily argue this is the most generous and impressive off-court gesture ever made by a professiona athlete.

And THIS is the individual that President Trump has chosen to insult as unintelligent.

LeBron Opens a School

We wonder why.

Yes, James has referred to Trump as a "bum" on Twitter in the past and he also said in June that whichever team won the NBA title would turn down an invitation to visit the White House.

But head NBA coaches Steve Kerr and Greg Popovich has been far more critical of Trump.

The latter said in March that Trump is a liar and a hypocrite and that he brings out the "dark side of human beings for his own purpose."

Yet Trump has never uttered a negative word about Kerr or Popovich. We really do wonder why.

What makes LeBron different from these two other men in his profession. Can anyone out there help explain it to us?

Donald Trump in FL

In his CNN interview, James discussed the impact of sports and how it brings people together, contrasting this experience with the way Trump uses "sports to kinda divide us."

A great example of this would be Trump's constant bashing of NFL players for being unpatrotic because they are protesting violence against African-Americans by taking a knee during the national anthem.

"Sports has never been something that divides people," James told Lemon. "It's always been something that brings someone together."

A few months ago, LeBron expounded further on Trump's self-centered and misguided attitude toward... everything and everyone.

"He doesn't understand the power that he has for being the leader of this beautiful country," James said. "He doesn't understand how many kids, no matter the race, look up to the president of the United States for guidance, for leadership, for words of encouragement.

"He doesn't understand that, and that's what makes me more sick than anything, that we have someone that's ... this is the most, this is the No. 1 position in the world."

LeBron

In his viral Tweet above, Trump said he likes Mike, very likely making a reference to Michael Jordan in the debate for who is the best basketball player of all-time.

The world now waits to see if Jordan will chime in with his opinion of the President.

It also now waits to see if Trump will get impeached for being a traitor.

Kneeling in the NFL Is Worse Than Sexual Assault

The Miami Dolphins plan to take further action against those who dare kneel during the National Anthem. According to the Associated Press, the Dolphins may suspend players for taking a knee while someone butchers the anthem.

Players can be suspended for up to four games.

Let’s update our “NFL Suspensions” Big Board:

– Potentially deflating footballs in a game you would won by 20: four-game suspension
– Kneeling during the National Anthem to protest violence against minorities: four-game suspension
– Inappropriately groping a female Uber driver: three-game suspension

Yup, sexual assault gets you less games than peacefully kneeling before a game.

The Dolphins can suspend players under the premise of “conduct detrimental to the club.” Nothing hurts the team more than kneeling instead of standing before the coin toss. I bet if players say they are kneeling as a way to honor the anthem, the rich white owners would not have a problem with it.

Teams had to submit their “anthem policy” prior to training camp. Thus far, only the Dolphins have submitted their paperwork. Looking forward to more teams outing themselves as racists in the coming weeks.

Be better, NFL.

The post Kneeling in the NFL Is Worse Than Sexual Assault appeared first on The Blemish.

Jimmy Garoppolo Is Keeping Up With Porn Star Kiara Mia

Jimmy Garoppolo was supposed to be the heir apparent to Tom Brady in New England. He was shipped to San Francisco and is now doing his best Brady impression on the West Coast.

To start, he’s dating a supermodel. And by supermodel, I mean porn star.

A’int no deflation there.

Meet Kiara Mia. She’s currently ranked 161st on Pornhub’s top porn stars list with 62.2 million views. Something tells me her numbers are going to go way up over the weekend.

When he says he’s been missing you 😉😘💋💋💋

A post shared by Kiara Mia (@theonlykiaramia) on

Mia and Garoppolo hung out at Avra restaurant in Beverly Hills. They got dinner, drinks, and probably did some foot stuff under the table.

Mia is most famous for her starring role in the 2015 porn parody of “Keeping Up with the Kardashians.” In case you’re racing to your favorite porn site, the name of the parody is titled “Keeping Up with Kiara Mia.”

Click that link in my bio! Hurry! #unleashyoursexi

A post shared by Kiara Mia (@theonlykiaramia) on

Something tells me she’s keeping something up on Jimmy G during the offseason.

The post Jimmy Garoppolo Is Keeping Up With Porn Star Kiara Mia appeared first on The Blemish.

You Probably Shouldn’t Get KO’d Like This

Last Saturday at the UFC Boise event, Niko Price scored an insane knockout of Randy Brown. Brown had taken down Price and ended up in sort of top position which is usually a good thing. Except in this case where Price pinned Brown’s head on his foot and hammerfisted him from the bottom until he knocked him out.

If I was Brown and heard how about how I was ko’d after waking up, I’d have just went back to sleep pretending I didn’t hear anything.

The post You Probably Shouldn’t Get KO’d Like This appeared first on The Blemish.

Brock Lesnar and DC Cut a Promo That’s Going to Make Them Rich

After Daniel Cormier slept Stipe Miocic Saturday night at UFC 226, he became only the second person in the UFC to become a two division champ. The first was Conor McGregor who hasn’t fought since being knocked around by Floyd Mayweather. DC is now both the light heavyweight and heavyweight champ and when you’re champ of the top 2 weight classes, there’s only one fight left to make to cement your bank account legacy; a fight with the jacked white boy superstar from WWE, Brock Lesnar.

Having ended the reign of Stipe with a short right hook, DC took the mic from Joe Rogan and called out Brock who lumbered into the ring like a neckless dinosaur. In a piece of kayfabe becoming more common in the UFC, Brock pushed DC, spat into the mic about how shitty Francis Ngannou (he was) and Stipe(he wasn’t) were and and told DC he was coming for him. Then he broke a camera.

"Push me now, get slept later." #UFC226

A post shared by ufc (@ufc) on

Smiling ear to ear knowing he was going to be pissing gold soon, Dana White separated his two bags of money from injuring each other before the fight. And now we wait until one of them trips over a cable and injures themselves during fight week.

The post Brock Lesnar and DC Cut a Promo That’s Going to Make Them Rich appeared first on The Blemish.

Tyler Honeycutt, Former UCLA Basketball Standout, Dead After Shootout with Cops

Tyler Honeycutt, a former star for the UCLA Bruins who played parts of two seasons in the NBA, was found dead on Friday inside his home after a violent standoff with the police.

He was 27 years old.

Tyler Honeycutt

The details behind Honeycutt's death are both sad and bizarre.

The Los Angeles Police Department and L.A. Fire Department told USA Today, TMZ and other media outlets that a man with a firearm shot at officers around5p.m. on Friday, prior to barricading himself inside his Sherman Oaks, California home for nine hours.

The SWAT team eventually arrived and entered the residence ... only to find Honeycutt lying on the ground, unresponsive.

On Saturday afternoon, the official LAPD Twitter account die not cite Honeycutt by name, but did provide an update on the situation from the evening before, writing:

Regarding last nights Officer-Involved Shooting in Van Nuys Division, it appears as if the suspect was not struck by any officer’s gunfire.

The suspect appears to have sustained injuries consistent with a self-inflicted gunshot wound.

TMZ reports that a gun was found inside the premises, near Honeycutt's body, and it is presumed he took his own life.

th tweet

This same website says that Honeycutt's mother was the person who called police Friday, saying her son was acting erratically on Friday.

The former college star's family has confirmed his passing to a local ABC affiliate, while his agent has done the same to the Russian team for whom Honeycutt had been playing professionally.

No officers were injured in the altercation, according to LAPD.

Meanwhile, several residents in the area had been evacuated as a precaution.

Tyler Honeycutt Picture

Honeycutt earned All-Pac-10 First Team honors in 2011 as a sophomore, leading his team to the NCAA Tournament.

He was then drafted by the Sacramento Kings in the second roundon tha NBA Draft, playing sporadically for two seasons with them, before heading to Europe to continue his career.

He most recently played with Moscow's BC Khimki.

Former Kings teammate DeMarcus Cousins was one of several players to mourn Honeycutt's death on social media, Tweeting this afternoon after the tragic news broke:

"Prayers up for his family and friends. Rest easy bro!"

Tyler Honeycutt Photo

Honeycutt’s coach at Khimki, Giorgios Bartzokas, was too overwhelmed to comment, saying simply when asked by reporters:

“I am sorry I cannot talk right now, I am really sad.”

Added New Orleans Pelicans point guard Jrue Holiday:

"Still can’t believe this... Rest In Peace to my brother Tyler Honeycutt."

Our thoughts and condolences go out to the friends, family members and loved ones of Tyler Honeycutt.

May he rest in peace.

14 Year Marriage Ends Over World Cup Argument

The World Cup is one of the biggest sporting events in the world. Much like the Olympics, every four years countries from around the world put their differences aside and come together to beat England. People who aren’t American get very passionate about the World Cup, making social media so unusable that I now have an opinion on the Fair Play rule.

The Daily Mirror reports that a Russian couple got into such a heated argument over the World Cup that the husband left and filed for divorce. What was the argument about, you ask? He said that Argentina’s Lionel Messi was better than Portuguese star Cristiano Ronaldo and she disagreed.

After telling the newspaper that the couple had fallen in love when they met in a bar whilst watching the 2002 World Cup, he said: “Since the beginning of the World Cup, she mocked Messi and said he couldn’t even score a penalty against Iceland.

“I could not contain myself and told her what I thought about the vain Ronaldo, the Portuguese national team and all the clubs she likes.

“Then I took my belongings and left her forever.”

That is harsh. They had been together for 16 years, married for 14 of them, and he left her over a soccer game. I would like to end this story with a joke about who the real best soccer player is, but I literally only know David Beckham and Pelé. So instead I’m going to end with a story I heard about Pelé. Last week, a Russian reporter at the World Cup asked Pelé if he thought the 1970s Brazilian team he played on could beat today’s Argentina squad, and Pelé replied that yes, he thought his team would win 1-0. When the reporter asked why only 1-0, Pelé answered “Well, most of us are over 75 years old now.”

The post 14 Year Marriage Ends Over World Cup Argument appeared first on The Blemish.

LeBron James Signs $154 Million Contract with Los Angeles Lakers

LeBron James has come a long way since The Decision.

And he's about to make his living a long way from Cleveland.

LeBron James Says Goodbye

Eight years after he dumped the Cavaliers in front of a national television audience, James came up with a far more inoffensive and discreet way to tell the world that he's joining another basketball team.

On Sunday night, the management company in which LeBron has a stake issued a very simple press release that reads as follows:

LeBron James, four time NBA MVP, three time NBA Finals MVP, fourteen time NBA All Star, and two time Olympic Gold Medalist has agreed to a four year, $154 million contract with the Los Angeles Lakers.

lbj statement

This move had been expected by most NBA followers for several weeks now, if not several months.

LeBron had the option to opt-out of this contract with the Cavaliers -- and most fans expected him to do so following a turbulent season that only ended with another trip to the Finals because James may be the best basketball player in the history of mankind.

It was LeBron's eighth consecutive trip to the concluding round of the NBA Playoffs.

But the Cavaliers got swept in the Finals by the Golden State Warriors and stood no real chance of competing with them for years to come.

Hence LeBron's decision to join a team full of young, up-and-coming players, which is also situated in the entertainment capital of the world; whose city has great weather year-round; and which may trade for superstar Kawhi Leonard any day now.

LeBron owns two homes in Los Angeles and sources had claimed he and his family had been touring potential schools there for his 13-year old son.

Shortly after Klutch Sports Group made the above announcement, James made one of his own on Instagram:

lbj tribute

James finished second this year in the MVP race.

In 2016, he fulfilled his promise to bring Cleveland its first major pro sports championship in 52 years, leading his Cavs to an epic seven-game victory over those same Warriors in the Finals.

Some Cleveland fans will likely be hard on James for his decision to leave the Cavaliers for the second time in his career, but come on now.

He accomplished something historic as the face of the franchise just two years ago and Cleveland isn't exactly the best run organization on the planet.

Also, the Cavs employ JR Smith.

Plus, now it will be easier for LeBron to keep hooking up with Beyonce!

LBJ

LeBron leaves the franchise as its leader in nearly every major statistical category: games played, points, rebounds, assists and steals.

He played in all 82 games this past season and may have put on the best playoff individual performance in league history.

This will either make it easier for Cleveland fans to accept that he's gone, having given everything one could during his final run there...

... or much harder because the guy is amazing.

Oh well.

Go Celtics!

Athletes Are Naked and Jacked in ESPN’s Body Issue

ESPN has released the annual Body Issue. It’s where sports superstars show off their naked bodies to make you feel bad about the kind of shape you’re in. You can view all of the nakedness here.

Karl-Anthony Towns

The most surprising part of this is that Karl-Anthony Towns’ teammates passed him the ball so he could dunk.

Sue Bird and Megan Rapinoe

Here’s Sue Bird and Megan Rapinoe, smiling like they are comfortable.

Jessie Diggins

Is that a pole in your hand, Jessie Diggins, or are you just happy to see me?

Charlotte Flair

Like every good wrestler, Charlotte Flair knows to always bring her working boots.

Zlatan Ibrahimovic

Zlatan Ibrahimovic is that dude who brags how many tattoos he has and then says, “I can show you if you’d like.”

Greg Norman

Greg Norman is 63 years old and he could kick anyone’s ass on the PGA tour.

Yasiel Puig

Dodgers fans are 100 percent going to rip Yasiel Puig for doing this instead of working on his game.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ma go bang out 20 pushups in order to get ready for my photoshoot next year.

The post Athletes Are Naked and Jacked in ESPN’s Body Issue appeared first on The Blemish.

Kellen Winslow II: Arrested on 9 Charges, Including Rape and Kidnapping

On Thursday, reports came out that Kellen Winslow II had been arrested -- again -- in San Diego, without really giving much detail about what he had allegedly done this time.

His previous arrests were for marijuana possession and burglary. This time, things are looking much more serious.

Winslow faces 9 different criminal charges, including kidnapping and multiple accusations of rape. He could face life in prison.

Kellen Winslow Jr.

First, here are the charges that WInslow II is facing, according to TMZ's report.

-Two counts of kidnapping with the intent to commit rape

-Two counts of forcible rape

-One count of forcible sodomy

-One count of forcible oral copulation

-Two counts of residential burglary

-One count of indecent exposure

Kellen Winslow Jr. on Instagram

We know that those last two don't even sound like they're worth mentioning in the context of those other, very serious charges.

As we said earlier, if he is convicted of all of these charges, he could be facing life in prison.

From what law enforcement officials have told TMZ Sports, Winslow was arrested by the Sheriff's Major Crimes Division.

The arrest went down at 1:05pm on Thursday.

The San Diego District Attorney informed TMZ of what happened.

"A warrant was issued this morning for Kellen Winslow II’s arrest," the D.A. revealed. "And he was taken into custody by San Diego Sheriff’s Deputies Thursday afternoon."

Kellen Winslow Jr. Tattoo

(Of all of the tattoos that Kellen Winslow II has accumulated over the years, he says that this Frederick Douglass quote is one that he does not regret or intend to have removed)

The 34-year-old professional athlete played football for the NFL from 2004 to 2013.

Now, he has been placed into police custody at the Vista Detention Facility, a San Diego county jail.

In the mean time, a search warrant has been carried out upon his residence.

Winslow has been married to his wife, Janelle, since 2006.

Son Jalen Maximus Winslow was born in February of 2011.

Daughter Juliana Arielle Winslow was born in August of 2013.

Kellen Winslow Jr. Family

On June 7 of 2018, just a week before Winslow's arrest for these very serious charges, he was arrested fleeing an Encinitas, California mobile home park.

At the time, he was only charged with felony first degree burglary.

The exact accusations against him remain unclear, as does the timeline for how the alleged burglary connects to ... everything else.

But these are deeply disturbing and disgusting allegations.

It is believed that they come from at least two different women, but a lot of details are still up in the air.

We imagine that we will all know more very soon as this sickening story unfolds.

Our hearts go out to any victims of sexual violence in this case and beyond.

Sex crimes are some of the most vicious and evil deeds that a person can commit, and recovery for survivors can take a lifetime.

We also extend our sympathies to Winslow's wife and children. This week, their lives changed forever through no fault of their own.

Many people have already taken to social media to express their sadness that Janelle and her children are caught up in alleged crimes that they have not committed.

Dana White Still Teasing a Jon Jones-Brock Lesnar Fight He Has No Control Over

Dana White is talking out of his ass again.

The UFC president is trying to put together a super fight between WWE champion Brock Lesnar and former UFC champion Jon Jones. But it’s not happening.

Lesnar is still suspended by USADA for a failed drug test following his July 2016 victory over Mark Hunt. Lesnar would need to re-enter the USADA testing pool, where he would need to stay for at least six months before returning to competition. That assumes he doesn’t fail another drug test.

Meanwhile, Jones is also dealing with USADA following his failed drug test after dealing Daniel Cormier in July 2017. It was Jones’ second USADA violation for PEDs. He could be suspended for up to four years.

Until Lesnar re-enters the testing pool and Jones’ punishment is handed to him, there’s no reason to discuss this fight. All parties are interested because it would mean a ton of money, but they’ve been interested for over a year and nothing has happened.

Brock is making millions in WWE right now, working one show every couple of months. He’s scheduled to appear at SummerSlam in August. After that, it’s possible he re-enters the testing pool for a potential late 2018, early 2019 fight. But he’ll be 41 years old. So much depends on Jones’ punishment. If he’s suspended for anything over a year, this fight isn’t happening. If he can return by July 2019, maybe it happens next summer.

For now, Dana is just talking to hear himself talk. He does that a lot.

The post Dana White Still Teasing a Jon Jones-Brock Lesnar Fight He Has No Control Over appeared first on The Blemish.

Mexico’s National Soccer Team Prefers Prostitutes to the World Cup

Mexico knows they have no shot at winning the World Cup. In the last six World Cups, they’ve never made it past the round of 16. They open against Germany, the defending World Cup champions. They might make it out of the group stage, but they’ll be bounced in the first round of knockouts once again.

Knowing all this, they decided to get the most out of they World Cup experience.

According to The Sun, following a 1-0 victory over Scotland, the Mexican national team partied for 24 hours. This included 30 “VIP” prostitutes/escorts.

They were given the day off after their victory and they made sure to take advantage of it.

A source said, “They arrived at the house in Las Lomas around 10:30 p.m. on Saturday and had a great time with music, drinks, games and women. They had the night off, without their wives and girlfriends.”

There are only 23 players on the team. Let’s say half have wives/girlfriends. We all know that no athlete would ever cheat on their wife/girlfriend. That leaves 12.5 players and 30 escorts. I’d say the odds were ever in their favor.

Mexico may not hold a trophy in a month, but they’ve already won the World Cup.

The post Mexico’s National Soccer Team Prefers Prostitutes to the World Cup appeared first on The Blemish.

UFC’s Andrea Lee’s Coach/Husband Is Sorry About His Nazi Tats

Andrea “KGB” Lee posted a photo of herself and her husband/coach Donny Aaron by the lake last Friday. Things were going well until people’s eyes tracked to Donny’s left arm where there sat a swastika tattoo. And as we all know, Nazis have been getting a bad rap since the 1930s.

Some more digging later and people found out he also has an SS tattoo on his right forearm. Much like his ink, things were not looking good.

Cries of “Nazi” quickly spread around Twitter which forced Donny to issue an apology. An apology that was sort of lackadaisical. “These ‘scars’ tell my history which include a dark time when I was in prison,” he wrote. “However, they do not accurately represent who I am today as a person, my personal belief system and the respect I have for people of all races and religion. For 13 years I have tried to atone for my sins and seek forgiveness from those who most certainly find my body reprehensible. I’ve, in most cases, gone to great lengths to always wear long sleeves in public setting.”

Of course, many responded that he could, you know, just get a cover-up tattoo or laser removal. Maybe even ask this guy if he’s hurting for cash. But according to his apology, he’s explored these avenues and neither is an option for him. His prison friends hate traitors, probably.

Meanwhile, Andrea Lee also came to his defense. She used the trusty old “we can’t be racist because we have a lot of ethnic friends” line. You’d think in 2018 someone would come up with something better.

Alright, listen. First, who calls their friends “ethnic”? That like one step away from saying they know a lot of colored folk. Second, Jesus, she called her friends ethnic. Andrea later released her final apology. One that was a little more thought out and was actually run through a PR person.

The post UFC’s Andrea Lee’s Coach/Husband Is Sorry About His Nazi Tats appeared first on The Blemish.

Peyton Manning Might Be a Snitch

Peyton Manning has been retired for a couple of seasons now, but he’s still making headlines thanks to the ongoing Al Jazeera case.

Al Jazeera is a former news network currently battling MLB stars Ryan Howard and Ryan Zimmerman in court over doping allegations they made. Manning is involved as he was not only named in the allegations, but also allegedly used as a source.

Charlie Sly, a pharmacist who had worked at the Guyer Institute in Indianapolis, stated (via the Hollywood Reporter), “I did part of my training at the Guyer Institute which is like this anti-aging clinic in Indiana. [Peyton Manning] and his wife would come in after hours and get IVs and s***. … So one thing that Guyer does is he dispenses drugs out of his office, which physicians can do in the United States it’s just not very many of them do it. … And all the time we would be sending [wife] Ashley Manning drugs. Like growth hormone, all the time, everywhere, Florida. And it would never be under Peyton’s name, it would always be under her name. … We were sending it everywhere.”

Sly later recanted those claims. Al Jazeera claims that the Mannings (through counsel) backed up those claims.

Peyton Manning disagrees. Here’s what Manning (through a spokesperson) had to say:

“Al Jazeera’s self-serving claim that Peyton Manning’s attorneys ‘confirmed’ Al Jazeera’s allegations about Peyton Manning is absolutely false. In fact, information was provided to Al Jazeera that confirmed the Al Jazeera allegations about Peyton Manning were unfounded. In addition, the sole source for Al Jazeera’s allegations has publicly recanted them. Moreover, the NFL conducted an extensive investigation of the claims raised in Al Jazeera’s programs and found no evidence to support them. This is a desperate move by Al Jazeera to distract the courts from its own wrongdoing.”

If Manning was using HGH in his final seasons, that shit didn’t work. He sucked in his last season and only won the Super Bowl because of Von Miller. Dude has been retired for two years, let him make his stupid Papa John’s commercials in peace.

The post Peyton Manning Might Be a Snitch appeared first on The Blemish.

Ben Simmons About to Ruin His Career by Dating Kendall Jenner

Serial NBA dater Kendall Jenner has found herself a new NBA star in the form of Ben Simmons.

The two have been dating “for a few weeks” according to Page Six. They’ve been spotted in Manhattan and Beverly Hills over the last two weeks.

“Security measures seemed to have been taken to ensure Kendall and Ben enjoyed their night hassle free,” said a witness. “They were smiling the night away with their friends.”

Jenner is no stranger to dating NBA players. Over the past couple of years she’s been linked to Chandler Parsons, Jordan Clarkson, and Blake Griffin. Parson’s suffered a knee injury that pretty much ruined his career months after he started dating Jenner. Clarkson played better when the two stopped dating. And Griffin was so bad that the Clippers traded him to the Detroit Pistons months after signing him to a five-year deal and retiring his jersey.

Simmons is going to win Rookie of the Year, but surviving a season attached to Jenner might be too much for him to handle.

The 76ers point forward was recently linked to singer Tinashe. The two reportedly broke up after Simmons was unhappy that she was “doing Kardashian shit” like calling the paparazzi and making everything public. Alanis Morissette wrote a song about this.

Tinashe’s brother wasn’t happy with this new couple.

And her grandmother was so upset that she stopped using Twitter.

Grandma’s shouldn’t be on Twitter in the first place.

This relationship is such a shame. Simmons had a promising career. Oh well.

The post Ben Simmons About to Ruin His Career by Dating Kendall Jenner appeared first on The Blemish.

Pro Athletes Would Rather Play ‘Fortnite’ Than Sports

Have you played Fortnite yet? I haven’t because it looks fucking dumb to me. I mean, you make stairs appear in the middle of nowhere, run up them and shoot at other people. Big whoop, I’ve got Persona 5 and half a dozen Kingdom Hearts games I can spend my video game time playing. But every so often a video game comes along that becomes an entire genre in and of itself, and Fortnite is one of those games. It’s like League of Legends, Hearthstone and World of Warcraft, where there are dozens of similar games with different iterations, but most of them will flop and this one will tower over all of them.

Fortnite is especially popular with teens and young adults, streamers who accidentally blurt out the n-word and the wheelchair kid from Degrassi. One of the people playing with Drake and Ninja on that record-breaking stream was Juju Smith-Schuster, a wide receiver for the Pittsburgh Steelers, the best team in the NFL. It turns out that most professional athletes, aside from over-the-hill quarterbacks who have made a career of cheating, are in their early 20s, just the right age to be super into Fortnite right now.

And Fortnite may be causing problems for athletes, some of whom are playing it so much that it’s affecting their performance. Take David Price, pitcher for the Boston Red Sox. Fortune is reporting that he missed a start this week against the Yankees because of carpal tunnel syndrome, something that may be caused by how much time he spends playing Fortnite.

While Red Sox manager Alex Cora said he didn’t believe that video gaming caused Price’s injury, the medical world is torn on the issue, with researchers at the Mayo Clinic saying repetitive motions (like button-mashing) can contribute to carpal tunnel. However, notes the National Institute for Health, “often no single cause can be identified.”

The game is so popular that some players for the Milwaukee Brewers played it on the Jumbotron at the stadium, which I would absolutely do if I had access to a Jumbotron.

When Mom tells you to turn off @fortnite and go play outside.

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The game is pretty playful. After someone posted a story on Twitter about being in a Gamestop and overhearing a woman asking an employee for Fork Knife, the alternate title became a meme and it even ended up getting added into the game. Seems like the sort of thing that would be super funny if you had a CTE.

Hockey players are also loving the Fork Knife, and Deadspin recounted a story from Jeff Marek about an NHL first round pick who was basically ruining his shot at being an NHL star by playing too many video games.

“On video games – and I’m not going to say the player’s name. I really doubt he’s going to make it to the NHL, and it’s because of a video game addiction, to the point where his junior general manager told me that they’ve had him go to counseling over it, because he’ll play until all hours of the night and into the morning and then he’ll have no energy the next day. Like, he’ll be a write-off. And it is that bad. He has this compulsion for playing video games until all hours. I swore that I wouldn’t say the player’s name, but it’s unfortunate. He’s a recent first-round draft pick for a very, very prominent NHL team, will probably never play in the NHL because of a video game addiction.”

To be honest, I can’t entirely blame him. Boston University’s CTE Center released a study that said 110 out of 111 former NFL players’ brains that were studied had chronic traumatic encephalopathy, a degenerative disease caused by repeated blows to the head. Hockey players are probably not immune from head injuries, but eSports stars definitely aren’t. And Ninja makes $6 million a year, that’s pretty comparable to a pro athlete.

What does this mean? Are eSports going to replace real sports as our national pastimes? I doubt it. Even with a 100% chance of developing CTE, there are plenty of people willing to play it anyway. And video games are kind of boring to watch. There are a few popular streamers like Ninja, who combine an entertaining persona with a high level of skill, but most eSports tournaments get relatively few viewers, especially compared to something like the Super Bowl. But we’re entering an age where the Super Bowl MVP might only have become a football player because no one was watching his League of Legends stream.

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NHL Forced to Tell Player Not to Lick His Opponents

The NHL is cracking down on licking opponents.

What?

Yes, Boston Bruins forward Brad Marchand has made a habit of licking opponents, so much so that the NHL has warned him to stop. Next time he does it, he’ll be assessed a two minute penalty.

After the game, Marchand defended his actions by saying, “I thought he wanted to cuddle. I just wanted to get close to him. He keeps trying to get close to me. I don’t know if he’s got a thing for me or what. He’s cute.”

Marchand’s nickname in NHL circles is “The Rat.” That pretty much tells you all you need to know about his reputation. He’s known for getting under the opponents skin by taking cheap shots, embellishing calls, and scoring big goals.

The scoring big goals part is the worst. Annoying players can be found in every sport. But annoying players who are really good and can hurt you on the scoreboard? That’s a double whammy.

The Bruins advanced to the second round of the NHL playoffs on Wednesday with a Game 7 victory over the Toronto Maple Leafs. Marchand had a goal and an assist in the game.

Marchand has a history of putting his lips to the face of other players. Here he is kissing Leo Komarov, the same guy he licked, earlier in the season.

These two just need to fuck and get it over with.

The post NHL Forced to Tell Player Not to Lick His Opponents appeared first on The Blemish.

Boxer in ‘America 1st’ Trunks Gets Slaughtered by a Dude From Mexico

I like to support the home team in sports. When I’m not cheering for the local team (go Pens!) I generally like to support the underdog, like really getting behind Kazakhstan in Olympic hockey. Unfortunately, sometimes the home team and the underdog are both douchebags, like if you lived in Boston in 2001. This happened in junior lightweight boxing last night when American underdog “Lightning” Rod Salka stepped into the ring wearing trunks with a red, white and blue wall reading “America First” to duke it out with former WBC champion Francisco “El Bandito” Vargas, who is from Mexico City, Mexico.

It was a bad night for racists when their great white hope got absolutely curb stomped before Vargas took him down in the sixth round, and he never made it back into the ring for the seventh.

Look at that. I haven’t seen a beating like that since Jay Z got into that elevator with Beyonce’s mom. There’s just something deeply satisfying about watching a racist piece of crap get plastered like that.

I don’t even like Phil Collins and that brings a smile to my face.

Salka getting beaten like an NFL player’s wife is going to end up in a K-tel compilation of the 25 best Nazi punches one day.

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Farewell PyeongChang: The 2018 Winter Olympics in Review

The Winter Olympics has come and gone, and Norway has set a record for the most medals won by a single country in the Winter Games at 39, a record previously held by the United States, who won 37 medals in 2010. But in a way, we’re all winners because we all shared in the glory of international brotherhood and friendly competition. In another, more accurate way, I’m the real winner because instead of the Olympics, I watched a bunch of episodes of The Chef and My Fridge on Netflix (we love you Kim Poong!).

The games got off to an interesting start as athletes arriving in Olympic village were greeted by statues of giant penis monsters. I can only assume these were part of the promotion for some sort of pornographic Cloverfield sequel called something like Cloverfield Does Dallas. You’ll leave the theater wondering if anyone really had sex at all.

On the Olympic diplomacy front, US Vice President Mike Pence managed to be completely upstaged by Kim Yo-jong, the sister of Kim Jong-un, which is a real accomplishment when you consider that South Korea lives with the constant threat of Kim’s brother obliterating them with nuclear weapons and the United States is South Korea’s staunchest ally. But she at least had the decency to stand up and politely applaud when countries other than her own were being introduced at the opening ceremonies. Also, Kim brought 200 of the most beautiful women in the world with her, while Pence just brought his wife, whom he calls Mother.

Even though there was no hockey thanks to the NHL not giving players a break to participate and Russia was barred from competing at the games because of their state-run doping scheme, Russia won the gold medal in hockey by defeating the Germans 4-3. It’s essentially what happened in World War II only without America there to take credit for it.

As if Canada’s bronze medal in men’s hockey wasn’t embarrassing enough, they also had to watch as both the women’s hockey and their other national pastime, curling, were both won by the United States, their first ever gold medal in the “sport”. The women’s curling gold went to Sweden, but Canada managed to cling to the last shred of their dignity by winning the gold in mixed-doubles curling, which is still kind of sad seeing as how Canada is the only country that gives even a semblance of a fuck about curling. Any sense of national pride for the Canadians was short-lived as their Prime Minister was, at that very moment, in India dressing up like an extra in a Bollywood film’s wedding scene and ending every sentence with “namaste”.

In a story that might inspire a sequel to Cool Runnings, Jamaica fielded a women’s bobsled team for the first time. The team finished next to last, but they didn’t get caught doping while doing what’s basically a hobby for kids with a snow day, so they have their pride. What they didn’t have was a bobsled, because one of their coaches, Sandra Kiriasis, took it with her when she was fired, which would make a great all is lost moment in Cool Runnings 2: 2 Cool, 2 Runnings. Just saying. Call me if you need a writer for your direct-to-video disaster, though, Hollywood. You made Bright, don’t tell me my idea is too stupid, that ship has sailed.

American figure skater Adam Rippon won a bronze medal, becoming the first openly gay male athlete from the United States to win an Olympic medal. The first closeted gay male athlete to win an Olympic medal is every other male figure skater in the history of the Olympics. The first lesbian to win an Olympic medal was probably a soccer player. They don’t have golf at the Olympics, do they? They do, but it was just added in 2016? Okay, yeah, soccer.

Speaking of figure skating, the rinks really started to heat up in the ice humping competition. Excuse me, I meant to say ice dancing. Wait, that’s not right either, let me check my notes… okay, it’s ice fucking. Anyway, this is an event where a male and female skater take to the ice and try to land moves like a triple lutz into reverse cowgirl. Two skaters’ tops came off, and one, French skater Gabriella Papadakis, had her entire breast fully exposed on worldwide television. Doubly embarrassing for Papadakis is that said breast was nowhere near as large as her nose. Despite the wardrobe malfunction, Papadakis and her partner Guillaume Cizeron got the silver medal, with judges saying they would have given them the gold had she gone full frontal.

Just outside the actual Olympics was the robot Olympics, where South Korean ski-bot Taekwon V won the world’s first robot skiing event, a sport only slightly less stupid than rhythmic gymnastics. No one was really talking about it, even though Taekwon V was tiny and adorable in his little snowsuit, because people only care about robots that can either kill them or fuck them, apparently. Although I suppose a robot skiing isn’t that much of an accomplishment, I’m pretty sure I can build a robot that can fall down a mountain without even breaking out a soldering iron.

And so ends another Olympics. This year’s games, more than most, really brought the world together. Mainly because we were all praying that Donald Trump wouldn’t say something more idiotic than usual to provoke Kim Jong-un into dropping a nuclear bomb on PyeongChang, which there was probably a 50/50 chance of, honestly. Luckily for us, he was too busy trying to convince Ivanka to try ice dancing with him to cause an international incident.

Dana White Desperately Wants Jon Jones to Save His Company

Dana White and Jon Jones are speaking again. Because the UFC ratings and pay-per-view buyrates are falling and Jones, outside of Conor McGregor, is the only star the company has under contract.

Jones is still waiting on his sentencing for USADA after failing his second anti-doping drug test. It’s his third overall failure, but the first one was just cocaine. Jones faces a four-year suspension. His case will be heard on Tuesday, Feb. 27.

The former champion hasn’t competed since July 2017. It’s doubtful that he fights again this year, but given how much he means to the UFC pocketbook, they’ll be hoping for the best. Jones has been training, which, what else is he going to do?

White said that this is the first time that they have spoken since July. Jones had previously been upset with Dana, a common feeling among UFC fighters, for abandoning him following his first failed drug test in July 2016.

According to Dana, the UFC had their best financial year last year. You should take that with a grain of salt because he lies every other sentence and he’s counting Mayweather-McGregor as part of the UFC bottom line. In reality, UFC is trending down. They’ve failed to create new stars and the old stars are gone. McGregor is the only star left and who knows when he’ll fight again.

Jones’ pay-per-view numbers are typically good, but how his return fight will do is anyone’s guess. Fans may not want to pay $60 for a fight that will ultimately be ruled a no contest when Jones fails another drug test.

I welcome back Jon Jones with open arms. I’m also not holding my breath.

‘I Don’t Do Doping’ Girl Caught Doping

Oh, Winter Olympics, I’m going to miss you when you’re gone. You may not have had hockey or Russia, but you had weird cock statues and titties and that’s good enough for me. You also had some of the best scandals I’ve seen in the Olympics in years.

As you may know, Russia was banned from competing in the Olympics because of their massive doping scheme at the last Winter Olympics in Sochi. The IOC let around 150 Russian athletes compete in the games anyway, under the Olympic flag, and now two of them have been caught doping. I know, it’s shocking that people from the country banned for doping would be caught doping. I don’t know how this could have happened.

Here’s where the story takes a turn. The latest Russian athlete caught doping is Nadezhda Sergeeva, who was training last month in a sweatshirt reading “I Don’t Do Doping”, and if I can’t believe in a motto on a sweatshirt, I just don’t know what to believe anymore.

The thing I really don’t understand is that Sergeeva is a bobsledder. How does doping help you win a sport that is primarily about sitting? More importantly, why is bobsledding a sport to begin with? After they made Cool Runnings it sort of reached its zenith, it’s probably time to hang up the… whatever bobsledders wear. Tight suits and dumb helmets.

Can you think of more embarrassing sports to be caught doping in than bobsledding and curling? And is Viagra a prohibited substance for competitors in ice fucking dancing?

This Year’s Olympics Has the Silliest Scandals Ever

Man, the Olympic Winter Games have had everything except for hockey; robots, corporate sponsorship, female nudity and an army of beautiful cheerleaders. You can add drama and intrigue to the list as a North Korean speed skater appears to have tried to trip a Japanese skater.

That seems like a really dumb thing to do because, you know, the guy is wearing skates. Really sharp skates. Is Kim Jong Un really going to be so mad that you tripped at the Olympics that it’s worth losing a hand for? Okay, considering North Korea killed an American citizen for allegedly taking down a poster, it probably is.

But North Korean speed skaters aren’t the only ones under fire, as the Korean women’s speed skating team is involved in a bullying scandal. After skater Seon-Yeong Noh fell four seconds behind her teammates in the team pursuit event, dropping them out of contention for a medal, skaters Kim Bo-Reom and Park Ji-Woo turned their backs on her as she broke down in tears and appeared to blame Noh for the loss in post-event interviews.

“We were doing quite well,” Kim said, after the race. “But at the end … we have a big gap at the back. She couldn’t keep up.”

The people of South Korea have petitioned their president, Moon Jae-In, to remove the two mean girls from the Olympic team. South Korea has an online petition site much like the one started by President Barack Obama, and petitions with over 200,000 signatures will receive a response. The petition about the speed skating team has over 400,000 signatures.

Of course, the most embarrassing scandal has to go to Alexander Krushelnitsky, one half of the bronze medal mixed doubles curling team. Krushelnitsky’s blood tested positive for Meldonium, the same substance Maria Sharipova received a 15-month suspension from tennis for. But the embarrassing part is that, according to RT, the Russian Curling Federation’s chief, Dmitry Svishchev, implied the reason Krushelnitsky used performance-enhancing drugs to compete in the games’ least athletic sport is he was jealous of the attention his hot wife and teammate was getting.

“At the Games, [Anastasia] became famous the world over, new admirers for her popped up in a lot of countries – and now this doping scandal. I don’t think it’s a coincidence,” Svishchev said in an interview with Russian daily Sovetsky Sport.

I can see why she’s turning heads on the… whatever they call the surface you curl on. Is it a rink? Down on the old curling rink… that sounds right, I’m going with it. I can see why she’s turning heads down on the old curling rink. I want to end this on a curling-related sex pun, but it’s proved more difficult than I had imagined. “I’d let her broom the ice in front of my giant stone puck” is the best I could come up with. I need some joke-enhancing drugs, which, if you’re wondering, are weed and booze.

The Pyeongchang Olympics Are Turning X-Rated

I haven’t been watching the Winter Olympics because there are no NHL players meaning there’s really no hockey, but the joke’s on me because apparently these games are winning a gold medal for naked ladies. Not one but two ice dancers have popped out of their costumes in Pyeongchang, and the event isn’t over yet. I’m guessing this is the curse of the cockmonsters living outside Olympic Village.

The first “wardrobe malfunction” was by South Korean skater Yura Min, who just popped all the way out of her tiny red costume.

Min was saved some embarassment when her partner put his hand over her exposed breast.

I really should have been a figure skater. No one ever told me grabbing boobs was part of figure skating.

Gabriella Papadakis’s partner wasn’t as quick-thinking as Yuna Min’s, and he let the whole world see her boob live on television.

That performance put the French duo in second place. Maybe if they had both popped out she would have gotten the gold.

Also, why did no one tell me figure skating was a euphemism for dry humping at a skating rink? This event was starting to get pretty porneriffic before women started exposing themselves. I’m expecting to see routines that start with one partner bringing a pizza onto the the ice and their partner not being able to find their wallet. You get the robot ski team and the hundreds of North Korean cheerleaders in on the action and maybe people will actually start to care about events outside of the curling.

We’ve Built Robots That Can Ski, So People Can Stop Pretending to Enjoy It Now

If I live to be a thousand, I will never understand why people want to ski. It’s all the fun of falling down the side of a mountain combined with the thrill of getting frostbite on your face and extremities. If I never have to hear some 28-year-old day trader say the word gnar-gnar again, I will live a happy life.

While automation is threatening to disrupt the world economy and cause a massive concentration of wealth that could lead to massive poverty and civil unrest, we are building more and more robots that will do jobs that humans legitimately don’t want to do, like having sex with you or being a woman in Saudi Arabia. You can add skiing to that list, as just outside of where the Winter Olympics are being held, we’ve also had the first-ever robot skiing contest, the “Edge of Robot: Ski Robot Challenge” contest. It didn’t have the word Olympics in it because the IOC is notoriously litigious, even though Robolympics is sitting right there.

As reported by The Verge, the contest paid $10,000 to the winner, which doesn’t seem like enough money to build a robot that can ski. They also put the robots in little skiing outfits which seems completely unnecessary but also adorable, like when you put a baby in a three-piece suit.

Waking up this morning to see the photo I took of Conor and his little boss baby is trending at #1 on Reddit! Not that I'm surprised. Look at that suit! David August made it especially for Conor Jack and turned him into the most adorable mini me. Link to the New York Times article in my bio. See more photos on my website in the "Portraits" gallery! Emilywilsonphotography.com. . . . @nytimes @thenotoriousmma @davidaugustclothing @reddit #thenotorius #conormcgregor #mayweathermcgregor #fightweek #ufc #mma #menwithclass #menswear #dapper #fashiondesigner #suit #portrait #pursuitofenergy #energyseeker #liveauthentic #photographer #inspiration #documentarian #theproject #pursuitofpotraits #lasvegasphotographer #behindthescenes #editorialphotography

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See that? There’s no reason for that, that baby isn’t going to some important baby meeting in the world’s most adorable boardroom, but I’m glad it happened. Same with robots in ski suits.

Look at that, it’s like Short Circuit 3: Johnny 5 Goes To Aspen. That little guy was the winner, named Taekwon V, after this amazingly terrible 1970’s Korean cartoon that is 100% a Mazinger Z rip-off.

It’s nice to see robots enjoying recreational activities for once instead of falling in with a bad crowd like those BattleBots. Unfortunately, Russia’s robot was disqualified for using performance-enhancing motor oil, but I think we were all expecting that to happen anyway.

North Korea’s ‘Army of Beauties’ Invade the Winter Olympics

If you’re like me, you tuned out of the Winter Olympics right around the second you heard NHL players wouldn’t be playing for their national teams in South Korea. Hockey and curling are really the only events worth watching anyway, but I’m not incredibly interested in watching a bunch of players who couldn’t cut it in the bigs, especially since the Russians won’t even have a team.

There is a draw, though, because even though the unified Korean women’s hockey team is terrible, North Korea sent nearly three hundred cheerleaders, dubbed the “Army of Beauties.” I had to make sure I wasn’t dreaming when I first saw them because literally all of my dreams involve 200 of the most beautiful women in Korean performing synchronized cheers. But it is real, and this sort of display is nothing new for North Korea, the most theatrical ruthless dictatorship in the world. You don’t see Tajikistan pulling out the stops like this.

It’s impressive. North Korea really loves these kinds of displays, the Kim dynasty is clearly theatrical. Speaking of which, there was a minor incident when some people thought that the masks the cheerleaders wore when singing a song sung by a man looked like a young Kim Il-Sung, the first dictator of North Korea and Kim Jong Un’s grandfather.

Jesus, does being a communist dictator destroy your genes or something? He is a handsome man, something you wouldn’t guess by looking at his son or grandson.

The North Korean cheerleaders even won praise from American speedskaters Lana Gehring and Maame Biney, who gave comments to USA Today.

“Oh my god, it was awesome,” said Gehring. “They were just doing their little chants and flag waves. I have never seen that before. And their (songs) are so in sync it is like they’ve been practicing them for years.”

“They are really beautiful,” added Biney. “I really liked it.”

Also attracting a lot of attention at the winter games was Kim Yo Jong, the sister of Kim Jong Un, who attended with the North Korean delegation and is the first member of the Kim family to visit South Korea since the end of the Korean War.

After American Vice-President Mike Pence decided to take a knee when the Korean delegation enered the stadium, which by his own logic was an insult to South Korean veterans of the Korean War, Kim Yo Jong has basically made North Korea look reasonable and tolerant in comparison to the Trump administration. So, you know, good job, Pence.

Diplomacy and international relations aren’t a zero-sum game, but how bad at it do you have to be to be completely blown out by North Korea?

Watch Cameramen Nearly Throw Down Over Filming Kevin Durant

Cameramen take their job very serious. It’s a life or death situation. They have to be in the perfect spot at all times, because if they are moved off that spot, it ruins the entire shot. Don’t believe me? Listen to this.

If you watch the video, two cameramen fight for position to film Kevin Durant.

Cameraman 1: “Dude I’m going as far as I can. Step over.”

Cameraman 2: “I was parked here and you’re the one who cut me.”

Cameraman 1: “I will knock you the fuck out. I will knock you the fuck out.”

Pay no attention to that subject in the video. He’s a traitor who probably teamed up with Cameraman 1 after he knocked out Cameraman 2. Then took credit for knocking out the cameraman himself. That’s the kind of person Kevin Durant is.

The big story here is that these cameramen are just lame. Durant isn’t saying anything important. He’s giving your usual cliche answers. They could have run footage from an interview two weeks ago and no one would have been able to tell the difference. But these men have a job to do and they’re going to do it, damnit.

If you think this is something, look at this fan get into Russell Westbrook’s face after a game on Thursday night.

Now that’s someone who is lucky that he wasn’t knocked the fuck out. Westbrook let him off easy with a simple shove. Steven Adams, on the other hands, was walking over, ready to murder that man. You can start a fight near Kevin Durant and be safe, knowing Durant is just going to smile and act like he’s on your side. If you try to start something near Westbrook, he’s going to end both you.

Cooler heads prevailed in both situations. No cameramen were knocked out and the fan was escorted off the floor. Probably by Kevin Durant.

Philadelphia Eagles Fan Gets Wisdom Teeth Removed FREAKS OUT Over Super Bowl

Well, the another Super Bowl is upon us, and because we're still living on the darkest timeline, that means the Lombardi Trophy will almost certainly be heading back to New England, and another ring will soon be on Vladimir Putin's finger.

But don't tell that to Rutgers University student Haley Parks.

Haley is a diehard Philadelphia Eagles fan who recently had her wisdom teeth removed.

Those two facts may seem unrelated, but when Haley emerged from anesthesia, the Birds and the big game were the first things on her mind.

We know, we know – you've seen plenty of wisdom teeth videos, and the trend of parents filming their blathering, drugged up children and then putting the results on YouTube is getting old.

But this one is special.

Not only is it freaking hilarious, but Haley has some interesting predictions about Super Bowl LII.

On top of that, Haley has a message for all you fairweather fans out there:

“You now what I hate? I hate fans that are fans now that weren’t fans,” she says to her mother, who's somehow not doubled over with laughter.

“If they were 0 and 16 I would still be their friend!”

And people say Eagles fans are a stain on the NFL!

Okay, so maybe most of them are, but you can bet everyone west of Massachusetts will be pulling for the Birds on Sunday!

Win this one for Haley, boys!

Philadelphia eagles fan gets wisdom teeth removed freaks out ove

Jets Player Robby Anderson Arrested, Threatens to Nut in Eye of Cop’s Wife

Early Friday morning, Robby Anderson, wide receiver for the New York Jets (a football team), was arrested.

The charges include reckless driving, resisting arrest, evading police, and threatening a public servant. But those charges barely scratch the surface.

Among other things ... he threatened to "nut" in a police officer's wife's eye. His words, not ours.

Robby Anderson

It started off on what we assume to be a pretty run-of-the-mill morning in Florida, based upon everything that we've heard about Florida Man over the years.

In South Florida, police detected a vehicle driving 105 miles per hour in a 45 mph zone. That's ... not great.

This time, the celebrity speeder wasn't Justin Bieber, but Robby Anderson. Who, as we mentioned, is a professional athlete.

Maybe he was somehow not paying attention, maybe he was thinking of crossing over into another sport -- race car driving. Who knows?

Whatever the reason, he was allegedly traveling more than twice the legal speed limit.

Robby Anderson Image

Based upon police descriptions, Robby Anderson noticed when police were trying to pull him over.

Instead of finding a safe place to pull over and slowing his vehicle, he allegedly doubled down on reckless driving, running multiple red lights.

Per police reports, he was also swerving from one lane into another while attempting to evade police.

Folks, please don't try those sorts of maneuvers at home. Or anyone.

Eventually, Robby Anderson did stop his vehicle. But when he did, the police say that they had a new ordeal to face -- Robby's reluctance to allow them to place him in the back of a police car.

Robby Anderson Photo

According to the police report, obtained by NJ.com, Robby Anderson's bad behavior still wasn't over.

"While in the back of my patrol vehicle, Robert stated that when he got out he was going to find my wife, f--k her, and nut in her eye."

He said WHAT?! 

(In case you're unfamiliar with the term and the context doesn't clear, nut means orgasm or, in this case, ejaculate)

"He continued to make other verbal threats toward my family."

Vague but still not good.

"Based on his statements it was clear that he intended to sexually assault my wife."

We imagine that Robby Anderson's attorney may argue that Robby was simply threatening to seduce the officer's wife.

"He also began to brag about how much money he has and how all I was doing was trying to 'Ruin his fun.'"

Classy.

Robby Anderson Mugshot

Based upon Robby Anderson's social media activity from Thursday, we can infer that he was grieving a lost relationship.

(He may have just had a breakup)

If so, perhaps he was not handling his sense of loss very well. We don't mean to suggest that he was using any illicit substances, but it's possible that he had been too upset to go to sleep.

It's also possible that he was just not in a great mood and that this led him to make some terrible choices.

None of that is an excuse for literally anything for which he is accused. 

But it might, at least, be an explanation.

Robby Anderson Picture

Pro-tip: don't do the things of which Robby Anderson is accused. Especially not making threats against a police officer's family.

Police don't like it. Fans don't like it. And prosecutors, courts, and judges really don't like it.

This isn't Robby's first brush with the law in Florida.

Last year, he was arrested at a Miami music festival. That time, he was also charged with resisting arrest. And also with obstruction of justice.

Robby might need to make some better choices.

NFL May Keep Teams in Locker Rooms for National Anthem Next Season

Do you know why NFL players come out on the field and stand with their hand over their hearts during the national anthem? It’s because the US government essentially started paying them to during the Obama administration. It’s technically an advertisement for the Department of Defense, as are a lot of the rah-rah pro-America displays at sporting events. When the Blue Angels fly overhead and the Marines have that flag ceremony at midfield before the game, that’s because our tax dollars are being given to the NFL to do that so that more people enlist in the military.

Before about 2009, teams usually took the field immediately after the national anthem was sung, and stayed in the locker room or the tunnel while the anthem was performed. The reason they started going out before the anthem is because we started paying them to. Well, we didn’t specifically pay teams to stand for the anthem, but the league started putting players on the field for the anthem at the same time as they starting doing a bunch of other product placement for the military.

Now the NFL is reportedly considering going back to introducing teams after the anthem. This is a rumor that has been circulating for a few months, first appearing around Thanksgiving. The change, along with possible changes to Thursday Night Football, would take effect next season.

Jim Trotter, an ESPN reporter who covers the NFL, tweeted today that the rumors that this will be the policy going forward haven’t died down behind the scenes.

All I can say about this is that it would absolutely be the right move. I don’t even know why we’re playing the national anthem before sporting events to begin with. What’s with all the displays for patriotism in sports? I don’t watch sports to express my patriotism, in fact I expressly root for the Patriots to lose every game they play. This weekend I’ll be cheering my heart out for the Jacksonville Not-The-Patriots to win the AFC Championship, even though I’d like to see the Philadelphia Not-The-Patriots take home the Lombardi Trophy.

Look, I’m glad you love America, I love America, too. But sometimes America does shitty things, like invading a country under false pretenses, destabilizing the entire region and creating an even worse threat than the one we’re ostensibly fighting to begin with. And sometimes, like when our increasingly militarized police forces keep killing unarmed black men and getting away with it, we might want to protest. If you think a football game is no place for a protest, it’s also no place for a tacit endorsement of misguided and harmful policies in the first place.