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Donald Trump: Banned From Facebook FOR 2 YEARS!!!

Folks, it's been almost six months since Joe Biden was sworn in as president, and some of you many find yourselves craving the reckless, chaotic energy that can only be provided by one Donald John Trump.

Lucky for you, the Donald is like a toddler with undiagnosed ADHD -- he never stops making moves.

While he may have been demoted from Leader of the Free World to Florida Man, Trump is still creating drama and tugging on the threads that make up the fabric of American democracy.

The Donald Photo

Earlier this week, we learned that Trump believes he'll be reinstated as president as early as this summer.

And what might have caused him to believe something so incredibly bonkers, you ask?

Well, crazy people often have delusions of grandeur, and when you give one of these nutjobs actual power -- by, say, electing them President of the United States -- it's a sure bet that whatever is left of their mental health will take flight and explode like an Inauguration Day firework.

Donald Trump Points

In Trump's case, he's so loony that four years of daily exposure to the guy has caused widespread insanity throughout the nation.

Folks on both the Right and the Left are susceptible to Trump Derangement Syndrome (or TDS), and we're sure you've seen the symptoms in loved ones:

Inability to talk about anything other than Trump, willingness to destroy lifelong relationships do to differing views on a handsy reality star, and a vulnerability to wacky conspiracy theories involving some or all of the following: Russia, vaccines, and Melania body doubles.

Donald Trump at CPAC

But the powers that be are taking action to help stop the spread and flatten the curve.

And by "the powers that be," we mean tech weirdos like Mark Zuckerberg.

Yes, Facebook's "independent Oversight Board" -- aka the team that Zuck and company punt to when they want to avoid making a controversial decision -- has decided to suspend Trump's account for at least two years.

Mark Zuckerberg Explains It All

In a sense, the decision is a victory for Team Trump, as the ban was previously open-ended.

The Oversight Board ruled that the decision should be re-visited exactly two years from the beginning of Trump's suspension, which began one day after the January 6 Capitol Building riots.

So the ban is now ... less open-ended?

Donald Trump Makes a Face

Regardless of your feelings toward Trump or your thoughts on freedom of expression in the age of social media, hopefully we can all agree that this whole situation highlights the absurdity of our times.

Facebook is one of the most powerful brands on the planet, and yet, it seems that they devised this Oversight Board with the goal of never having to take accountability for any of their actions ever.

There's a nuanced conversation to be had about whether corporations should have the power to silence a former president.

Trump, Don

Perhaps, since said president's previous content might have caused an act of insurrection that resulted in multiple deaths, it would be unsafe to allow him to continue communicating with the public.

Or perhaps the Facebook-Google duopoly has entirely too much power, and we're embarking down a slippery slope by giving a corporation the power to deny a former president the means to communicate with the tens of millions of people who voted for him.

But one thing is for certain -- it would be great if the head of the company would stick his neck out and take a more active role in these discussions.

Mark Zuckerberg Speaks

Granted, the bulk of our Zuck knowledge comes from The Social Network movie, but why did Justin Timberlake give Jesse Eisenberg those business cards that say "I'm CEO, Bitch!" if he's never gonna take charge and make any moves that require a modicum of testicular fortitude?

Sure, Facebook isn't the only game in town, but Trump has already been banned from Twitter, and the no-comments blog he tried to get off the ground went bust in less than a month.

Obviously, that's hilarious, but it also points to one of the problems that comes with giving two or three companies a stranglehold on all online dialogues.

Donald Trump: Hush Up!

Most of us don't have the know-how or the audience to launch a successful website on which we do nothing but share our thoughts, so if we were banned from Facebook and Twitter, the move would be tantamount to a sort of internet exile.

It's tempting to look at situations like the Facebook ban or a crippling Big Mac addiction and think that they could only happen to Trump.

But one day you may find yourself posting your inane thoughts on a public library bulletin board, Secret Sauce dribbling from your chin, and you'll look back on this day with profound regret.

Donald Trump Says Famous Horse is a "Junky" After Positive Steroid Test

Donald Trump has come out swinging against his latest enemy.

Against something that he believes is emblematic with all that ails the United States.

Against the personification of all that makes America in need of being made great again by a certain racist sociopath.

Indeed, Donald Trump has come out and trashed a horse.

Donald Trump Points

On Sunday afternoon, the one-term President used his fancy new blog to drag Medina Spirit, the animal who won this year's Kentucky Derby on May 1...

... and then tested positive this weekend for for an illegal substance.

If a second test confirms this intiial result, Medina Spirit wil be stripped of the most prestigious title in his sport.

Just to reiterate the point here, Medina Spirit is a horse.

Medina Spirit

“So now even our Kentucky Derby winner, Medina Spirit, is a junky.

"This is emblematic of what is happening to our Country,” Trump wrote in a posting on his website, perhaps trying to emulate The Onion.

He added:

“The whole world is laughing at us as we go to hell on our Borders, our fake Presidential Election, and everywhere else!"

Donald Trump horse statement

Now, here's the delicious irony:

Hall of Fame trainer Bob Baffert announced the finding on Sunday morning, confirming that his horse was found to have 11 picograms of an anti-inflammatory above the legal limit in Kentucky racing.

As a result, Baffert has been suspended from training horses that race at Churchill Downs, the most famous racetrack in the country.

Baffert, who has denied all wrongdoing, is an extremely rich white man.

The Donald Photo

So...

If Trump's point is that extremely rich white men are trying to take advantage of the system and maintain their privileged status no matter what it takes, then, yes.

He's sort of right.

This scandal is symbolic of a huge problem in America!

Donald Trump and His Cult

“Yesterday I got the biggest gut-punch in racing for something I didn’t do,” Baffert told reporters after the positive test was made public.

“It’s disturbing. It’s an injustice to the horse.

"I don't know what's going on in racing right now, but there's something not right. I don't feel embarrassed. I feel like I was wronged.

"We're going to do our own investigation. We're going to be transparent with the racing commission, like we've always been.

"He's a great horse. He doesn't deserve this. He ran a gallant race."

Trump, Don

Trump, of course, remains banned from Facebook and has a whole lot of free time these days.

According to most reports, he just wanders around his resort in Florida and crashes random events there to complain about his very fair and legal loss to Joe Biden.

We'd suggest he focus on more important matters than a horse possibly taking performance-enhancing drugs.

But whenever Trump did that as President, he ended up praising Nazis as "fine people" or recommending we all inject bleach into our bodies -- so maybe we shouldn't mock the guy too much here.

Donald Trump Makes a Face

"To be clear, if the findings are upheld, Medina Spirit's results in the Kentucky Derby will be invalidated and Mandaloun will be declared the winner," Churchill Downs officials said in a statement today.

The track said failure to comply with the rules and medication protocols jeopardizes the safety of horses and jockeys, the sport's integrity and the Derby's reputation

"Churchill Downs will not tolerate it," the statement added.

"Given the seriousness of the alleged offense, Churchill Downs will immediately suspend Bob Baffert, the trainer of Medina Spirit, from entering any horses at Churchill Downs Racetrack."

Donald Trump: Hush Up!

Thus far far Medina Spirit has not been disqualified from competing in next Saturday’s Preakness, the second leg of the Triple Crown.

Therefore, once again, if a rich and famous creature is caught breaking the rules, he apparently goes unpunished.

Maybe Trump really is on to something here.

Donald Trump, Samantha Markle Blast Meghan: Harry’s Gonna Dump Her!

It's been over a week since Oprah Winfrey's interview with Meghan Markle debuted on CBS and still, the hot takes are showing no sign of letting up.

On this side of the pond, private citizens and media figures alike seem to be overwhelmingly Team Meghan.

But there are some exceptions to that rule, as a handful of haters are lashing out at the American Duchess despite a lack of convincing arguments for how Meghan could possibly be in the wrong here.

It's Meghan Markle

Naturally, the chief trash-talker is a woman who's been jealous of Meghan since infancy.

We're talking, of course, about Samantha Markle.

Sammy has made a career out of bullying Meghan in the press, so it should come as no surprise that she's seized on this opportunity to join forces with the thousands of racist Britons who helped make Meghan's life in London so hellish.

For some reason, Sam keeps landing interviews, and she made a rather bold prediction in her latest media appearance:

She predicted that Meghan and Prince Harry will get divorced:

"I see it ending in divorce unless they get extensive counselling and can agree to work on being honest, to work on apologies to everyone that they've damaged in the course of this bull-in-a-china-shop, two-year spiel," the elder Markle told TMZ.

Meghan Markle and Harry Interview

"Nothing about any of this has been honest and the damage to the Royals has been massive, especially now," Sam added.

She went on to clarify that she believes Harry will be the one to pull the plug.

"Maybe he's already questioning it. He has to be if he has a functioning frontal lobe, come on! He's not 12," she ranted.

Prince Harry and Meghan Markle with Oprah

"He was in the military, he's got to have a sense of, 'oh my god, everything you said to me has been a lie.'"

As always, Samantha offered nothing in the way of specifics, so we have no idea what she thinks Meghan lied about.

"What man would be happy or comfortable with that?" Samantha asked if Meghan's alleged dishonesty.

Sam Markle

"The minute, I believe, he begins dissenting or pulling back from her I think it can get nasty, unless he has a really good lawyer, they have really good counsellors. I don't know what it's going to take."

We're not sure how anyone could've watched Harry and Meghan on the Oprah special and thought that that's a couple who's headed for divorce, but we really can't overstate how broken Sammy's brain is.

Speaking of deranged individuals, it seems unemployed Florida resident Donald Trump has also been voicing anti-Megjhan views.

Donald Trump: Hush Up!

Trump has always hated Meghan for reasons that aren't entirely clear, and now he's especially irate, as he blames the Duchess for the fact that his pal Piers Morgan has been fired.

News that Meg is still on the ex-president's mind comes to us courtesy of the podcast hosted by former Trump adviser Steve Bannon.

"'When I was talking to the president this morning . . . he's like: 'Yeah, [Meghan's] no good. I said that and now everybody's seeing it,'" current Trump aide Jason Miller told Bannon.

Donald Trump Makes a Face

"'But you realize if you say anything negative about Meghan Markle you get canceled. Look at Piers [Morgan],'" Trump allegedly continued.

We don't know what's funnier -- that Trump is living in fear of being canceled for his anti-Meghan views, or that he's still being betrayed by the people who work for him.

Either way, it seems Meghan has the bullies shook, and we absolutely love to see it.

Donald Trump: You’re Welcome for the COVID-19 Vaccine! Sheesh!

Back when he was President of the United States, Donald Trump mostly pretended COVID-19 did not exist.

Toward the end of his only term in office, the world's most famous sociopath said the media was overhyping this virus in order to help Joe Biden win the general election.

But now that three different vaccines are on the market and Americans are starting to protect themselves from this deadly outbreak?

Trump wants full credit for getting the country to this point.

Trump, Don

Still banned from Twitter, Trump released a hilariously self-serving and pathetic statement on Wednesday -- which also managed to be racist at the same time!

“I hope everyone remembers when they’re getting the COVID-19 (often referred to as the China Virus) Vaccine, that if I wasn’t President, you wouldn’t be getting that beautiful ‘shot’ for 5 years, at best, and probably wouldn’t be getting it at all,” he wrote.

Concluded this very lonely and petty old man:

“I hope everyone remembers!”

trump vaccine statement

The message came hours after President Biden announced his administration would order another 100 million doses of the one-shot Johnson & Johnson vaccine to bolster the nation’s efforts to protect Americans.

This, on top of the Pfizer and Moderna vaccines that have been available to various adults since January.

At this point, close to 600,000 Americans have died from COVID-19.

There's hope, however.

Donald Trump at CPAC

There are now more than 62 million people in the country who have received at least one vaccine dose, while nearly 33 million are fully vaccinated, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s shot tracker.

That’s about 19% and 10% of the population, respectively, according to data last updated on Wednesday.

Both the Pfizer and Moderna’s two-dose coronavirus vaccines were developed and authorized for emergency use while Trump was in office.

Moderna received funding for design and testing under Trump’s Operation Warp Speed, while Pfizer had an advance-purchase agreement.

Donald Trump Makes a Face

As you might expect, there's been some tension between the Biden administration and some in the former Trump administration, the latter of whom do want credit for helping to vaccinate so many citizens.

"We're delighted that more Americans are getting the vaccine," said Paul Mango, former deputy chief of staff for policy at Health and Human Services under President Donald Trump.

"We just don't understand why they (the Biden administration) have to celebrate it by trashing what we did," he added this week.

Donald Trump: Hush Up!

Trump, of course, often used his power in office to downplay the dangers of the virus and politicized mask wearing.

He's directly responsible for an untold numberr of deaths.

"I don't think anyone deserves credit when half a million people in the country have died of this pandemic," White House press secretary Jen Psaki has said on this topic.

President Joe Biden

As for the Commander-in-Chief himself?

"We're moving in the right direction, though, despite the mess we inherited from the previous administration, which left us with no real plan to vaccinate all Americans," Biden said in a February 25 speech.

Similarly, Jeff Zients -- coordinator of Biden's COVID-19 task force -- 60 Minutes late last month that he gives credit to scientists and people who enrolled in the vaccine trials.

Not the Trump administration.

a biden clip

"The bad news is there really was no plan to ramp up the supply of those vaccines," he said on this program.

At this point, Biden says that every American over the age of 16 who wants a shot will be able to get one by mid-May.

That's really the important thing here.

Let's not lose sight of it.

Donald Trump Acquitted in Second Impeachment Trial, Threatens to Run in 2024

A significant majority of U.S. senators believe ex-President Donald Trump incited a violent insurrection against the government on January 6.

This should be the main headline that comes from Saturday's events in Washington, D.C.

Instead, however, we're obligated to report that Trump was acquitted this afternoon -- by a vote of 57 for and 43 against -- by the Senate in his historic second impeachment trial.

Donald Trump as POTUS

The House of Representatives had charged Trump on January 13 with inspiring his supporters to overthrow police officers and invade the U.S. Capitol building during a joint session of Congress.

Five people died in the attack.

Two more officers later committed suicide as a result of the trauma from the attack.

Donald Trump is Sad

Trump is the only Commander-in-Chief to have been impeached on two occasions -- after he was previously charged by the House with abuse of power and obstruction of Congress in the Ukraine scandal in early 2020.

The Senate acquitted him in that trial, with Mitt Romney the only Republican who voted to convict him in the subsequent trial.

This time around, however, Romney was joined by six other Republicans.

Donald Trump at Press Conference

And after Mitch McConnell voted to acquit, he excoriated Trump for a "disgraceful dereliction of duty."

"There's no question - none - that President Trump is practically and morally responsible for provoking the events of the day," said the Kentucky Senator, making it VERY confusing as to why he therefore did not vote to convict the traitor.

The “criminals” were carrying Trump flags, McConnell added. It was clear only Trump could end it, he continued, saying the following:

“The president did not act swiftly. He did not do his job."

McConnell

McConnell continued:

"With police officers bleeding and broken glass covering Capitol floors, he kept repeating election lies and praising the criminals."

Yes, yes he did. 

Shortly after the verdict came in, meanwhile, Trump took a victory lap (if you can call a 57-43 loss a victory), and seemingly threatened to run for President again in 2024.

trrump state1

The one-term President who is no longer allowed on Twitter because of using the platform to incite political violence said via statement:

It is a sad commentary on our times that one political party in America is given a free pass to denigrate the rule of law, defame law enforcement, cheer mobs, excuse rioters, and transform justice into a tool of political vengeance, and persecute, blacklist, cancel and suppress all people and viewpoints with whom or which they disagree.

Yawn.

trrump state2

I always have, and always will, be a champion for the unwavering rule of law, the heroes of law enforcement, and the right of Americans to peacefully and honorably debate the issues of the day without malice and without hate.

This has been yet another phase of the greatest witch hunt in the history of our Country. No president has ever gone through anything like it.

And then came the 2024 tease/threat.

Donald Trump Ponders Life

Pretending that he cares about anything other than himself, Trump concluded his statement as follows:

Our historic, patriotic and beautiful movement to Make America Great Again has only just begin.

We have so much work ahead of us, and soon we will emerge with a vision for a bright, radiant and limitless American future.

Again, yawn.

Joe Biden Sworn In

Right now, however, Joe Biden is President and Donald Trump is doing nothing but golfing and watching cable news.

So, basically, the same things he did while in office.

But still: This is a reason to celebrate.

Will Trump Be Convicted?

So far, 2021 is shaping up just as tens of millions of Americans hoped it would:

A new president has been sworn in; the Covid-19 vaccine is gradually making its way across America, and a second Donald Trump impeachment trial is currently underway.

Of course, generally, when we think of impeachment, we think of charges being brought against a sitting president.

President Trump

And the only things Trump is sitting on these days are a mound of discarded Big Mac wrappers and an ass that could put the curviest of Kardashians to shame.

Nevertheless, terrorizing Congress is not the sort of thing that Congress takes lightly, and Trump stands accused of encouraging his merry band of unemployable incels to remove their shirts, don their most dapper face paint, and storm the Capitol Building with the goal of ... well, it seems they didn't get that far in the planning process.

Trump is the first President to have been impeached twice, and he's the first one to face an impeachment trial after leaving the White House.

Donald Trump at Lectern

Probably not what he had in mind when he talked about his administration making history.

If Trump is found guilty on Incitement of Insurrection charges, he could be barred from ever again holding a federal office in the United States.

So the outcome won't be earth-shattering for the Donald either way, but for a number of reasons, tensions are running high anyway:

Donald Trump in FL

For one thing, millions of MAGA-niacs will blow their tops if the pile of tainted cold cuts they call a supreme overlord is actually held responsible for his actions.

On top of that, the Donald is a widdle diaper baby, and he hates losing almost as much as he hates eating his vegetables.

So if he's handed another defeat on top of the ass-whupping he suffered in November, you know he's gonna go on MySpace -- or whatever social media platform will still have him -- and work his sycophants up into a frenzy.

Donald Trump Says Goodbye

The Trump legal team suffered their first loss this week when the Senate ruled that the case against him is constitutional and should be permitted to proceed.

But if you're hoping that decision will be the beginning ot the end for ol' Donnie, we're afraid we have some bad news:

Impeachment requires a two-thirds majority in the Senate, and it seems highly unlikely that Democratic lawmakers will be able to convince many members of the GOP to stray from the party line just for the purpose of convicting some paunchy Florida retiree.

Donald Trump Impeachment Response

Republican Senator Rand Paul has already lobbied to have the case thrown out, and you've got a handful of aspiring Brown Shirts like Senator Josh Hawley, who will do anything their flabby fuhrer commands.

But for the most part, Republican senators are fully aware that Donald Trump put their lives in danger on January 6 -- but they won't punish him for it because they're worried about their own careers, and they live in fear of terrifying their constituents.

It's the height of cowardice, but what do you expect from people like Ted Cruz?

Donald Trump Video Pic

You can literally tell the whole world the guy's wife is ugly, and not only will he vote for you, he'll protect your efforts to destroy the country he claims to love.

2021 might have gotten off to an encouraging start, but with this caliber of spineless rodent in charge, you can bet that we'll be back in post-apocalyptic hellscape mode any day now.

Former Presidents Gather, Throw Not-Very-Subtle Shade at Donald Trump

Three former U.S. Presidents.

One very clear and pointed message.

Let's just hope Donald Trump was doing what he does best: Watching television, so he could receive it.

Bill Clinton, Barack Obama, and George W. Bush

On Wednesday afternoon, Joe Biden was inaugurated as the 46th President of the United States. (Perhaps you heard! Perhaps you celebrated!)

A few hours later, in lieu of the typical balls and parties that follow this ceremony, networks aired an event titled Celebrating America.

It featured celebrity cameos, musical acts, appreciation for everyday citizens, a second brief speech from Biden -- and the gathering of Barack Obama, George W. Bush and Bill Clinton.

All three former Presidents attended the inauguration, of course, while Trump did not.

Barack Obama on January 20

They also came together exactly two weeks after a deadly insurrection on the U.S. Capitol, an uprising that enough Democrats and Republicans agreed was incited by Trump that it caused him to be impeached.

For a second time.

"Good evening, America," Obama said to open his remarks.

"Obviously, there was a personal element to seeing my former vice president become the 46th president, to see Kamala Harris as our first woman vice president.

"But more broadly, I think inaugurations signal a tradition of a peaceful transfer of power that is over two centuries old."

George W. Bush on January 20

Bush echoed this sentiment.

"I think the fact that the three of us are standing here talking about a peaceful transfer of power speaks to the institutional integrity of our country," said the man who gracefully handed over the office to Obama in January 2009.

Trump, it should be noted, became the first president in modern history not to attend his successor's inauguration.

He flew down to Florida on Wednesday morning, hopefully to never be heard from ever again.

Donald Trump Incites Violence

Added Clinton last night:

"So this is an unusual thing -- we are both trying to come back to normalcy, deal with totally abnormal challenges, and do what we do best, which is try to make a more perfect union.

"It's exciting times."

The ex-Commander-in-Chief was referring here to both the coronavirus pandemic, which continues to rage across the nation, and the disturbing levels of denial, anger and violence exhibited of late by certain segments of one political party.

Bill Clinton on January 20

Along these lines, Obama continued:

"We've gotta not just listen to folks we agree with but listen to folks we don't."

"One of my fondest memories of the inauguration was the grace and generosity that President Bush showed me, and Laura Bush showed Michelle.

"It was a reminder that we can have fierce disagreements, and yet recognize each other's common humanity, and that as Americans, we have more in common than what separates us."

Barack Obama Says Hello

"I think if Americans would love their neighbor like they'd like to be loved themselves, a lot of the division in our society would end," Bush added.

"That's what this means," Clinton said, "It's a new beginning."

Obama, Bush and Clinton -- who, like the many former Presidents before them, regularly make appearances together at official state functions -- all wished Biden success on his presidency to conclude their important message.

Joe Biden sworn in

For his part, Biden encouraged unity during an inauguration address than Chris Wallace of Fox News said was the best he's ever heard.

"Today we celebrate the trump not of a candidate but of a case: a case of democracy," he said on stage.

"The will of the people has been heard and the will of the people has been heeded.

"Democracy is precious, democracy is fragile and at this hour, my friends, democracy has prevailed."

Joe Biden Speech

Later, in words he recited later that same evening, Biden told viewers, attendees and everyone in between:

"We come together as one nation, under God, indivisible, to carry out the peaceful transfer of power as we have or more than two centuries.

"As we look ahead in our uniquely American way, restless, bold, optimistic and set our sights on a nation we know we can be and must be."

Macaulay Culkin is Onboard With Digitally Removing Donald Trump From ‘Home Alone 2’

Something you might not know if you’re a normal person is that there is a pretty big market for edited, bowdlerized versions of Hollywood movies that take out all the sex and violence and swearing so Christian households can feel good about watching about five minutes of a film that probably now says Inglourious Armyguys on the DVD case.

A Utah company called CleanFlicks was forced to close because courts ruled that their service of making “clean” cuts of films was essentially film piracy, and there’s a company called ClearPlay that actually skips pre-defined portions of legitimate copies of movies in real-time to avoid the same fate.

If you’ve ever wondered what would possess someone to actually use this service instead of not watching a movie if it offend them or god forbid accepting the original vision of the writer and director, maybe think about how you might feel watching Home Alone 2 and seeing Donald Trump pop up on screen.

It’s pretty widely known that if you wanted to film a movie on one of Trump’s properties back in the day, Trump would insist on filming a cameo, as himself, in the film, like an orange Stan Lee who no one was really excited to see. Most people just let him do whatever and only pretended there was film in the camera, but for some reason his cameo in Home Alone 2 actually made it into the film.

The cameo actually survived to the final cut because test audiences genuinely enjoyed it; at the time, Trump was basically using his wealth to make himself a household name, cultivating an image that didn’t extend much beyond “I’m a rich businessman, I have money, Trump means rich person.”

That’s not really his image today.

So people have been suggesting digitally removing Donald Trump from the film, maybe replacing him with Jabba the Hutt or something, I don’t know.

Even Macaulay Culkin seems to be on board with the idea.

I mean, he said “sold” when someone suggested replacing Trump with an older Culkin, which would make an interesting twist on the film.

He also gave a “bravo” to someone who removed Trump from the film. Kind of.

That’s actually just kind of funny.

I don’t personally support editing Hollywood films by companies looking to make them the same for Christians or to remove Donald Trump. Sometimes you just have to let things from the past be problematic. They give a window into the time period that they’re from, and that’s more important than protecting our modern sensibilities.

The post Macaulay Culkin is Onboard With Digitally Removing Donald Trump From ‘Home Alone 2’ appeared first on The Blemish.

Donald Trump Responds to Impeachment, Claims to Condemn Violence

About two hours after getting impeached for the second time, Donald Trump has released a video in which he responds to the charge of inciting a violent mob to rebel against the U.S, government.

The President is unusually calm and reasonable in the footage, likely because he finally realizes what's at stake.

This is essentially a plea to Mitch McConnell and several other Senators not to convict him when the body reconvenes and hearing the impeachment case later this month.

“Mob violence goes against everything I believe in and everything our movement stands for,” Trump says in the video, without taking any responsibility for his own actions that led to last week’s events.

Trump, of course, told supporters gathered in Washington D.C last Wednesday to march on the Capitol and not to accept an election he has falsely labeled as "rigged" for months.

His supporters then followers orders.

They committed the treasonous act of attacking the Capitol, causing the building to go on lockdown and causing five people to die in the siege.

In the hours and days that followed, Trump referred to these perpetrators as "very special Patriots" and said his remarks a short time before their insurrection were "totally appropriate."

A total of 237 Congresspeople, including 10 Republicans, disagreed on Thursday, however.

They voted to impeach Trump for a second time, about a year after he was also impeached for obstruction of justice.

Down the line, the Senate will meet and decide to either exonerate Trump... or convict him for his role in this deadly riot.

Even McConnell has made it sound like he's open to a conviction.

Which explains Trump's tone in this new video.

“No true supporters of mine could ever endorse political violence," he says here.

"No true supporter of mine could disrespect law enforcement or our great American flag. No true supporter of mine could ever threaten or harass their fellow Americans."

He continues as follows:

"If you do any of these things, you are not supporting our movement -- you are attacking it. And you are attacking our country. We cannot tolerate it."

This is the most reasonable thing Donaldd Trump has ever said.

But he previously said SO much about a rigged election, and he previously encouraged his voters to rise up against the system, and he failed to say this in the immediate aftermath of the insurrection...

... that it's all way too little and far too late.

Heck, in the wake of the seditious act, Trump defended the white supremacists and other followers who raided the Capitol.

"These are the things and events that happen when a sacred landslide election victory is so unceremoniously & viciously stripped away," the President Tweeted.

He has since been banned from Twitter... and Facebook... and Instagram... and even Pinterest.

Saidd Nancy Pelosi after Trump was impeached:

Today, in a bipartisan way the House demonstrated that no one is above the law, not even the President of the United States.

That Donald Trump is a clear and present danger to our country and that once again we honor our oath of office to protect and defend the Constitution of the United States, so help us God.

And now, I sadly and with a heart broken over what this means to our country, of a president who would incite insurrection, will sign the engrossment of the article of impeachment.

Watch Trump's video right here.

And right now.

Donald trump responds to impeachment claims to condemn violence

Melania Trump: I’m the REAL Victim of the Capitol Building Riots!

With five people dead, thousands put at risk, and millions more traumatized by the sight of American democracy coming under attack on live TV, there's no denying the devastating consequences of last week's attack on the Capitol Building.

It's tough to gauge the damage to our national psyche or what sort of repercussions we might experience in the years to come.

But while many questions remain unanswered, surely we can all agree on one thing ..

Trump, Melania

... The people who were directly victimized by the attacks didn't suffer nearly as much as First Lady Melania Trump.

Sure, she was never in any danger, and the rioters were the personal minions of her husband, spurred to action by his inflammatory rhetoric.

And yes, for years now, she's been complicit in creating the sort of political climate in which Americans lash out with violent furor when they don't get their way.

Donald Trump and Melania Trump at Airport

Oh, and we suppose she ... okay, that's enough heavy-handed sarcasm for one day.

Obviously, Melania wasn't victimized by the attack -- in fact, aside from being forced to endure an unusually sulky evening from the rotisserie-skinned man baby she married, she wasn't affected by the riots in the slightest.

But don't tell her that.

Melania Trump with her Donald

Despite the fact that she was reportedly overseeing a photoshoot at the time of the attack and seemed "checked out" when asked to issue a statement to the nation, Melania apparently believes that she deserves the bulk of the sympathy.

In a statement that appeared to be heavily cribbed from previous speeches she's given (which were also not actually written by her), Melania mentioned the day's actual victims in passing before moving on to present her own sob story.

"With nearly every experience I have had, I found myself carrying many individual’s stories home with me in my heart," the first lady wrote.

Donald Trump and Melania Trump Together

"Most recently, my heart goes out to: Air Force Veteran, Ashli Babbitt, Benjamin Philips, Kevin Greeson, Roseanne Boyland, and Capitol Police Officers, Brian Sicknick and Howard Liebengood," she added listing those who lost their lives in connection with the attack.

"I pray for their families comfort and strength during this difficult time."

Then, quite randomly, the first lady shifted the focus to herself, and the "gossip" she's been forced to endure.

Melania Trump Birthday Card Pic

"I find it shameful that surrounding these tragic events there has been salacious gossip, unwarranted personal attacks, and false misleading accusations on me – from people who are looking to be relevant and have an agenda," she wrote.

"This time is solely about healing our country and its citizens. It should not be used for personal gain.

"As an American, I am proud of our freedom to express our viewpoints without persecution."

Angry Melania Trump

She concluded by pointing out that throughout the history of this great nation, many have given their lives in order to protect our right to ... never be criticized?

"Many have made the ultimate sacrifice to protect that right," she wrote.

"With that in mind, I would like to call on the citizens of this country to take a moment, pause, and look at things from all perspectives.

Melania Trump Aboard Air Force One

("From all perspectives" is Melania -- or her speechwriters' -- version of "both sides." It pops up in pretty much all of her speeches.)

For the record, Melania didn't get around to mentioning the victims until the fourth paragraph of her statement -- and no, she did not mention them a second time.

She also began her list with Ashli Babbit, who was shot and killed by authorities while attempting to carry out an attack on members of Congress who were inside the building.

Trumps at the White House

But setting the typos and the dog-whistle calls to violence aside, what really stands out here is Melania's astonishing narcissism.

On a day when tens of millions of people looked to their leaders for solace and guidance, Mrs. Trump had to vent about how pissed she was that her chief of staff quit, and her former bestie said mean things about her.

We've gotta hand it to this family -- they could already claim the World's Biggest Egomaniac as one of their own, and now it looks as though they've got a strong cotender for runner-up living under the same roof!

Donald Trump: Faulk Twitter! I’m Starting My Own Platform!

Donald Trump doesn't seem overly concerned with the fact that close to 400,000 Americans are dead from the coronavirus.

Nor does it bother him all that much that five people were killed and a government building placed on lockdown because a slew of his supporters committed an act of treason last Wednesday.

However, the President is very angry that he's been kicked off Twitter.

We mean, that's just a step too far, you know?!?

djt on phone

On Friday evening, this social media platform finally realized that the leader of the free world was actively encouraging his voters to rise up against their elected leaders.

Said Twitter in a statement:

"After close review of recent Tweets from the ["realDonaldTrump"] account and the context around them -- specifically how they are being received and interpreted on and off Twitter --  we have permanently suspended the account due to the risk of further incitement of violence."

Donald Trump Podium Pic

The company noted that it has a "public interest framework" in place so its users can "hear from elected officials and world leaders directly."

However, Trump pushed the limits of this framework.

"We made it clear going back years that these accounts are not above our rules entirely and cannot use Twitter to incite violence, among other things," the company wrote.

"We will continue to be transparent around our policies and their enforcement."

Donald Trump in the Shadows

The President is “ballistic,” a senior administration official has told Politico, adding that Trump was “scrambling to figure out what his options are.”

Based on a statement made on his behalf after Twitter made its fateful call, the wheels are already in motion.

Said Trump in this statement:

“We have been negotiating with various other sites, and will have a big announcement soon, while we also look at the possibilities of building out our own platform in the near future.”

Donald Trump tweet statement

As you can see above, Trump also claimed Twitter has "coordinate wiith the Radical Left" to keep him silent, alleging that the platform is "not about FREE SPEECH" and concluding:

"They are all about promoting a Radical Left platform where some of the most vicious people in the world are allowed to speak freely.

"STAY TUNED."

The President also briefly bogarted the official @POTUS account (below) to share this nonsense before that was taken down.

another Donald Trump twitter post

All talk about Trump's First Amendment rights being violated is, of course, absurd and ignorant.

The government is not suppressing his speech. He's not being threatened with prosecution for expressing his thoughts.

The President agreed to a private company's terms and conditions when he joined Twitter...

... and then he broke those rules when he incited a seditious riot.

This really isn't complicated.

Donald Trump as POTUS

Facebook has also banned Trump indefinitely.

Experts believe Trump will try to keep his MAGA movement going via Parler, a two-year-old magnet for the far right that claims more than 12 million users -- and where his sons Eric and Don Jr. are already active.

Google and Amazon, however, have taken down the Parler apps from their platforms because it's basically just a cesspool in which White Supremicists can congregate and plot to overthrow the government.

In other words?

Donald Trump as a Loser

It's filled with Donald Trump supporters.

We shudder to think what will happen when Trump gets impeached again.

Because it's gonna happen, folks.

Things may very well get a lot worse before, God willing, they get better.

No, the Lead Singer of Jamiroquai Didn’t Try to Overthrow the US Government

Donald Trump is officially out of ways to deny the reality that he lost the election and Joe Biden will be President of the United States on January 20th.

Before Trump acknowledged that reality, though, a number of supporters went fucking crazy and stormed the Capital Building in an attempted coup trying to overturn the results of the election.

One of those people appeared to be Jay Kay, the lead singer of Jamiroquai.

I say appeared to be because what kind of idiot would throw away his reputation to support an unpopular failed leader from a country he doesn’t even live in?

Well, that’s disappointing. Ever get the feeling you’ve been cheated?

Finally proving once and for all that Jamiroquai is better than the Sex Pistols, Jay Kay responded to all the people pointing out his similarity to the Viking cosplayer.

I imagine the dude in the Viking horns will eventually be arrested, he’s been identified and there are a bunch of pictures of him trespassing in the Capital. I just want to point out that nothing that dude does with his life will ever be as good as ‘Virtual Insanity’ and ‘Virtual Insanity’ isn’t that good.

The post No, the Lead Singer of Jamiroquai Didn’t Try to Overthrow the US Government appeared first on The Blemish.

Donald Trump: Permanently Banned From Twitter!!

Donald Trump is having a very, very bad week, and it is entirely his own doing.

He lost the election months ago. Those results were certified despite the armed white insurgents who stormed the Capitol Building with his encouragement.

Trump is being impeached again. He has been banned from Facebook and Reddit. He was suspended for 12 hours on Twitter.

Now, that suspension has been extended indefinitely after Trump once again tried to rile up his followers for their next attack.

Don Trump

On Friday evening on January 8, 2021, Twitter finally took the action that concerned users had been asking to see since 2015.

"After close review of recent Tweets from the @realDonaldTrump account and the context around them," Twitter Safety announced.

The announcement continued: "We have permanently suspended the account due to the risk of further incitement of violence."

Twitter Safety - permanently suspended Trump

Twitter Safety went on to explain that this should not have been surprising to Trump.

"In the context of horrific events this week," a subsequent tweet read, "we made it clear on Wednesday that additional violations of the Twitter Rules would potentially result in this very course of action."

In other words, Twitter had told him that they were no longer making special allowances for him after his role in the horrific attack on the Capitol building. Trump ignored them.

Twitter Safety - in the context of horrific events this week ...

“The 75,000,000 great American Patriots who voted for me, AMERICA FIRST, and MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN, will have a GIANT VOICE long into the future," Trump had tweeted.

His deranged tweet continued: "They will not be disrespected or treated unfairly in any way, shape or form!!!”

Twitter cited this as part of his misbehavior.

Donald Trump Twitter suspended 8 January 2020

It was not long after that Trump tweeted: “To all of those who have asked, I will not be going to the Inauguration on January 20th.”

Even months ago, this would have been in poor taste. After the attack on January 6, Twitter correctly observed that this tweet appeared in an alarming context.

The closest analogy would be a troubled high school student texting a friend to "not come to school" the next day -- in this case, Trump signaling that any harm done at the inauguration will not hurt him, personally.

Donald Trump Chicken

"Due to the ongoing tensions in the United States, and an uptick in the global conversation in regards to the people who violently stormed the Capitol on January 6, 2021," Twitter explained.

The explanation continued: "These two Tweets must be read in the context of broader events in the country and the ways in which the President’s statements can be mobilized by different audiences."

Twitter contineud: "including to incite violence, as well as in the context of the pattern of behavior from this account in recent weeks."

mob in capitol

"After assessing the language in these Tweets against our Glorification of Violence policy," Twitter reasoned.

The Safety page announced: "We have determined that these Tweets are in violation of the Glorification of Violence Policy."

The formal announcement concluded: "and the user @realDonaldTrump should be immediately permanently suspended from the service."

Twitter Safety full explanation of ban of Donald Trump

"President Trump’s statement that he will not be attending the Inauguration is being received by a number of his supporters as further confirmation that the election was not legitimate," Twitter went on.

"And," the Safety page noted, "is seen as him disavowing his previous claim made via two Tweets (1, 2) by his Deputy Chief of Staff, Dan Scavino, that there would be an 'orderly transition' on January 20th."

That certainly seems to be Trump's intention, yes.

Donald Trump as a Loser

"The second Tweet may also serve as encouragement to those potentially considering violent acts," Twitter wrote, "that the Inauguration would be a 'safe' target, as he will not be attending. "

"The use of the words 'American Patriots' to describe some of his supporters is also being interpreted as support for those committing violent acts at the US Capitol," Twitter noted.

Obviously, patriots do not smear feces along the halls of their capitol buildings, ransack offices, or display Nazi and Confederate symbols. Those are the acts of unpatriotic insurgents and terrorists.

Donald Trump in the Shadows

"The mention of his supporters having a 'GIANT VOICE long into the future' and that “They will not be disrespected or treated unfairly in any way, shape or form!!!” is being interpreted as further indication that President Trump does not plan to facilitate an 'orderly transition,'" Twitter explained.

"And," the Safety page continued, "instead that he plans to continue to support, empower, and shield those who believe he won the election."

Donald Trump Incites Violence

"Plans for future armed protests have already begun proliferating on and off-Twitter," Twitter noted.

The Safety page added: "Including a proposed secondary attack on the US Capitol and state capitol buildings on January 17, 2021."

We hope that everyone at the inauguration remains safe and are glad that Trump is finally no longer able to use this platform to encourage acts of terror on American soil.

Nancy Pelosi to Donald Trump: Resign… or Get Impeached!!!!!

Nancy Pelosi has upped the ante.

Two days after the stunning assault against Democracy and the U.S. Capitol, one of the women right at the center of the mayhem has issued both a challenge and a threat to President Donald Trump.

The Speaker of the House says in a new statement that Trump can leave office of his own accord...

Nancy Pelosi

... or be forced out.

Late on Friday, the long-time Congresswoman spoke on behalf of her caucus and said the following:

"Today the House Democratic Caucus had an hours-long conversation that was sad, moving and patriotic. It was a conversation unlike any other, because it followed an action unlike any other."

This, of course, is a referrence to what transpired around 2 p.m. EST on Wednesday.

Donald Trump Incites Violence

At that time, a few hours after receiving their marching orders from President Trump, thousands of Republicans committed an act of domestic terrorism when they stormed the Capitol.

They prompted a complete lockdown of the building and infiltrated both the Congressional Chamber and the offices of various lawmakers.

One of the most memorable and troubling photos from the insurrection features a man -- who has since been arrested -- with his feet on Speaker Pelosi's desk.

Five people, including a police offiicer, were also killed in the display of violence and sedition.

Donald Trump in the Shadows

Donald Trump has since responded by calling the instigators "Patriots," while Facebook has responded by banning Trump from its platform.

"It is the hope of Members that the President will immediately resign," continued Pelosi.

"But if he does not, I have instructed the Rules Committee to be prepared to move forward with Congressman Jamie Raskin's 25th Amendment legislation and a motion for impeachment.

"Accordingly, the House will preserve every option -- including the 25th Amendment, a motion to impeach or a privileged resolution for impeachment.

"With great respect, our deliberations will continue."

pellosi

There have been calls to remove Trump from office via the 25th Amendment by numerous officials and politicians.

Even The Wall Street Journal, which is owned by Rupert Murdoch, has called on Trump to resign.

This seems unlikely to happen, though.

House Democrats therefore plan to introduce their impeachment resolution on Monday.

The latest draft of the impeachment resolution, obtained by CNN, includes one article of impeachment for "incitement of insurrection."

Donald Trump as POTUS

Pelosi will consult with President-Elect Joe Biden before making any final decisions.

Trump, of course, was impeached in early 2020, but the Senate voted to acquit the President at the time.

Would they do so again, considering a successful impeachment calls for a two-thirds majority of the Senate?

Probably, although Mitt Romney and Lisa Murkowski would almost definitely vote to convict Trump, while 2024 Presidential hopefuls such as Ted Cruz and Josh Hawley may do the same in order to ensure Trump cannot run again.

Donald Trump in the Shadows

No matter what legislation is passed or what resolutions get voted on, Trump WILL leave office on January 20 when Biden gets sworn in as President.

Along these lines, Bernie Sanders Tweeted on Friday:

“Some people ask: Why would you impeach and convict a president who has only a few days left in office?

"The answer: Precedent.

"It must be made clear that no president, now or in the future, can lead an insurrection against the U.S. government."

Donald Trump in Cleveland

We still can't believe this has to now be spelled out.

But, hey, at least the corporate tax rate is lower now than it was under Barack Obama!

UPDATE: Twitter has permanent banned Donald Trump.

See for yourself:

account suspended

"After close review of recent Tweets from the @realDonaldTrump account and the context around them we have permanently suspended the account due to the risk of further incitement of violence," Twitter's official Safety account wrote on Friday evening.

Thank. God.

Donald Trump Addresses "Heinous Attack," Admits He’s a Loser

FINALLY.

Backed into a legal corner, facing yet another rumored impeachment and/or the possibility of actually being thrown out of office via the 25th amendment, Donald Trump at last said these words on Thursday evening:

A new administration will be inaugurated on January 20th. My focus now turns to ensuring a smooth, orderly, and seamless transition of power.

Donald Trump Video Pic

Yes, Donald Trump has admitted defeat.

It only took an armed insurrection by his followers, too.

“Like all Americans, I am outraged by the violence, lawlessness and mayhem,” Trump said in a video statement he released via Twitter, adding:

“America is and must always be a nation of law and order. The demonstrators who infiltrated the Capitol have defiled the seat of American democracy."

Donald Trump Incites Violence

This, of course, is a VERY different tone than the one Trump struck shortly after his supporters stormed a government building and ended up responsible for five deaths.

Including that of a police officer.

After this attempted coup, Trump referred to the terrorists who incited it as "special people" and he said he loved them.

In response, Facebook banned the President from its platform for the rest of his term.

Donald Trump as a Loser

Now, however?

With speculation swirling that he may truly become the first-ever Commander-in-Chief to be thrown out due to thhe 25th amendment?

Or perhaps finally aware that his legacy will be as a President who encouraged an insurrection against his own country's elected officials?

Trump has given in to mounting pressure -- from all around, including from prominent members of his own party -- to at least act and sound conciliatory.

Donald Trump in the Shadows

"To those who engaged in the acts of violence and destruction, you do not represent our country. And to those who broke the law, you will pay," he continued on Thursday.

Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin and Secretary of State Mike Pompeo were among the Cabinet secretaries who discussed the possibility of invoking the 25th Amendment to remove President Donald Trump, three sources have told CNBC.

This might help explain why Trump uttered many lies in his latest video message.

But that he also, for the very first time, admitted that Joe Biden will be the next President of the United States.

Donald Trump in Cleveland

In this nearly three-minute long video, Trump attempted to justify his months-long challenge of the election results as an effort to “ensure the integrity of the vote."

This, despite never presenting a shred of evidence that the integrity of the vote was ever in question.

Court case after court case after court case brought by Trump's legal team has been thrown out.

Trump, therefore, now says he will focus the remainder of his time in office on ensuring a smooth transition of power.

Donald Trump in Milwaukee

“Serving as your president has been the honor of my lifetime,” Trump concluded.

“And to all of my wonderful supporters, I know you are disappointed.

"But I also want you to know that our incredible journey is only just beginning.”

That's a scary thought.

Donald Trump Ponders Life

A White House adviser in discussions with senior officials, meanwhile, tells CNN that Trump recorded the video merely because his presidency is threatened by looming resignations and potential impeachment.

"I think that video was done only because almost all his senior staff was about to resign, and impeachment is imminent," the adviser said.

It also came more than two months too late.

"That message and tone should have been relayed election night ... not after people died," the adviser added.

Donald Trump Audio Leaks; President Begs Georgia Secretary of State to Overturn Election Outcome

President Donald Trump has been caught on tape.

Begging, pleading and beseeching Georgia's Secretary of State to overturn the results of the 2020 general election and undermine democracy in a desperate attempt to remain Commander-in-Chief.

Donald Trump as a Loser

On Sunday, The Washington Post posted a one-hour long phone conversation between Trump and Brad Raffensperger... in which the president is very clearly heard pressuring the Republican official to "find" more votes in his favor to win the state.

"The people of Georgia are angry, the people in the country are angry," Trump says to Raffensperger in the audio clip, adding in a huge breach of the law:

"And there’s nothing wrong with saying, you know, um, that you’ve recalculated."

Except, you know, um, there's everything wrong with saying that.

Donald Trump Ponders Life

The results of the Georgia election have been audited on three occasions.

Joe Biden has defeated Trump every time.

The state is run by a Republican Governor and every court case Trump has brought to challenge this outcome has been immediately thrown out due to a lack of evidence.

The Secretary of State cannot just "recalcuate" the results of a Democratic election.

Donald Trump in the Shadows

Seriously, people, do we really need to keep spelling this out?!?

Throughout the awkward and very illegal call, Trump implores Raffensperger to listen to the wild, erroneous conspiracy theories floating around the Internet and, essentially, to simply declare him the winner.

To Raffensperger's credit, he never entertains such an absurd and dangerous notion.

"Well, Mr. President, the challenge that you have is, the data you have is wrong," he says at one point.

Donald Trump in Cleveland

During another point in the call, Trump doesn't mince words.

He just tells Raffensperger to help him cheat his way to a second term.

"So look. All I want to do is this. I just want to find 11,780 votes, which is one more than we have. Because we won the state."

"There’s no way I lost Georgia," Trump adds. "There’s no way. We won by hundreds of thousands of votes."

Donald Trump in Milwaukee

Ahead of the newspaper publishing the transcript and audio of the call, Trump wrote on Twitter that he had spoken with Raffensperger on Saturday, making false allegations in the process.

He said that the Secretary of State "was unwilling, or unable, to answer questions such as the 'ballots under table' scam, ballot destruction, out of state 'voters,' dead voters, and more. He has no clue!"

Raffensperger responded to the tweet with his own statement:

"Respectfully, President Trump: What you're saying is not true. The truth will come out."

ga sos

Now, of course, it has.

Not that we expect Trump to acknowledge as much.

Or for anyone high up in the Republican party to call this exchange out for what it very obviously is:

Sedition by the President of the United States.

Donald Trump is Sad

Biden won Georgia with an 11,779-vote victory over Trump.

The President-elect also received more than 81 million votes, the most votes ever cast for a presidential candidate in United States history.

Trump, however, has not only refused to concede... he's screamed about voter fraud and whined incessantly about the results because he has Narcissistic Personality Disorder and he's a sociopath.

In December, though, Biden defeated Trump 306-232 in the Electoral College.

President Donald Trump in Texas

No matter what Trump and/or his allies say in public, the former is a loser. He has lost.

On January 20, Joe Biden will be sworn in as President.

He will then try to somehow build back the blocks of Democracy that Donald Trump has spent the last four years shameless knocking down at every opportunity.

We really hope he succeeds.

Donald Trump Is Reportedly Pissed His Wife Made Their Mar-a-Lago Home Look Nice

Other than in men, I think Melania Trump usually has pretty good taste. I remember people got very mad that she changed Jackie Kennedy’s Rose Garden landscaping, but I think the new, more low-key look is actually an improvement. I even liked her Christmas decorations.

Someone who does not have good taste in much of anything is her husband, President Donald Trump. Before he moved to the White House, the man lived in the tackiest, most garish apartment I’ve seen in my entire life. He also eats his steak well-done with ketchup which is insane and if you do that you may as well just eat kale so nothing has to die for your dry, chewy, terrible meal.

Now Trump is reportedly furious that his wife Melania made the living space at Mar-a-Lago look like a place a human being with class might want to live.

“He was not happy with it,” the source said, adding that the renovations didn’t appeal to the aesthetic that Trump prefers. Trump was reportedly so upset with the additions, which consisted of white marble and an abundance of dark wood, that he demanded they be removed immediately — which they were.

That sounds beautiful. White marble and dark wood. I want to go to there. Trump probably had everything painted gold and hung up a neon  “Tig Ole Bitties” sign.

Losing the election has apparently turned the President into a bit of a mopey dickhead, which is pretty funny. But I have a feeling Melania won’t be around to inflict good taste onto the President once he’s no longer President in a few weeks.

The post Donald Trump Is Reportedly Pissed His Wife Made Their Mar-a-Lago Home Look Nice appeared first on The Blemish.

Is President Trump Really Going to Pardon Joe Exotic on His Way Out the Door?

The more I think about it, the more I think that pardoning a man famous for a Netflix doc about a bumbling attempt to have a competitor whacked would be a fitting end for the presidency of reality TV star Donald Trump. Trump is on a bit of a tear with the pardons at the moment, handing them out to basically anyone who has been nice to him while also executing people left and right; Trump’s justice department executed ten people, making him responsible for more than 3/4 of federal executions carried out since 1963.

Still, Joe Exotic is holding out hope that Trump will pardon him. He was on TV, after all, and that seems to be about the level Trump is operating on.

TMZ reports that the Tiger King star’s pardon request has reached Trump’s desk.

It’s hard to tell what Donald Trump will do here because Donald Trump is not a rational actor. On the one hand, Trump wants to appear tough on crime so he’s executed an unprecedented number of people in his single term in office. On the other hand, Joe Exotic is somewhat famous and they’ll say Trump’s name on TV a lot if he pardons him and hearing his own name on TV is the thing Donald Trump likes the best in life, so it’s not outside the realm of possibility.

If he does get pardoned, Joe Exotic is lucky that his bumbling murder attempt came at a time when the president was more circus ringmaster than a statesman and that people were so desperate for entertainment during lockdown that they had heard of him.

The post Is President Trump Really Going to Pardon Joe Exotic on His Way Out the Door? appeared first on The Blemish.

Donald Trump to MAGA Nation: Should I Run Again in 2024, Or…?

Previously, we asked a very important political question:

Will Donald Trump run for President in 2024?

Now, however, the Commander-in-Chief and his team are asking a slightly different question of their long-time cult members...

Donald Trump in the Shadows

SHOULD Donald Trump run for President in 2024?

Don't just take our word for this, however. Take the words from a fundraising email sent on Tuesday by Trump and his cronies.

"Should President Trump run in 2024?" it reads.

Like most campaign fundraising emails from both Republicans and Democrats, Tuesday night's message -- one of seven sent over the course of a 24-hour period -- appealed to its recipients with bombastic, urgent language.

Donald Trump as POTUS

"Let's make something clear: the Radical Left STOLE this Election from President Trump," the email added.

This, of course, has been a sad, misleading and very dangerous lie that Trump has been telling for over a month now.

He recently said he's protesting the election results, a ignorant statement that sounds all tough and official, but which has no meaning whatsoever.

Unless Trump means he's about to grab a picket sign and march around, there's no such thing as a "protest" in this context.

Donald Trump is Sad

For the record, once again:

There has been no evidence of widespread fraud in the 2020 election; like, not a shred, Trump's lawyers haven't even attempted to present anything of credible substance in a court of law.

Moreoverr, the Electoral College officially affirmed President-elect Joe Biden's victory on Monday.

Said Biden in a speech shortly afterward:

If anyone didn't know it before, we know it now. What beats deep in the hearts of the American people is this:

Democracy.

Joe Biden, Donald Trump

Continued Biden along this same line in this same speech:

The right to be heard. To have your vote counted. To choose the leaders of this nation. To govern ourselves.

In America, politicians don't take power -- the people grant it to them.

The flame of democracy was lit in this nation a long time ago. And we now know that nothing -- not even a pandemic -- or an abuse of power -- can extinguish that flame.

Joe Biden in Scranton

At another point in this speech, Biden emphasized that he earned seven million more votes overall than Trump, along with 306 electoral college votes.

On their own, those numbers represent a landside of a victory of Biden and Kamala Harris.

Heck, Trump earned the exact same number of electoral votes iin 2016 and referred to his win at the time as a "landslide."

So there you go, right?

Donald Trump at Press Conference

One might think. Or wish.

Instead, the aforementioned fundraising email continued of Trump:

"He's always been able to count on the American People for advice, which is why he asked us to reach out with ONE very important question."

With this, the email linked to a poll that contained a "Yes" column and a "No" column, which has now prompted us to do the same down below:

Should Donald Trump run for President in 2024? Vote now.

And the Winner is?

Donald Trump continues to threaten a 2024 Presidential run. Should he go through with it? View Poll »

Donald Trump: That’s It! I’m Protesting the Election!

Donald Trump is offiicially protesting the Presidential election.

The problem for this one-term Commander-in-Chief is that he cannot officially file any sort of protest over the Presidential election.

But that won't stop him from ranting, raving, rambling and lying all about it on Twitter!

Donald Trump in Cleveland

On Sunday afternoon -- not long after the Supreme Court refused to even listen to the absurd lawsuit he supported that aimed to overthrow the will of the American people -- Trump was at it again.

Faced with the Electoral College certifying Joe Biden's victory over him on Monday, the country's biggest loser whined and wailed.

He continued to insist that he was cheated out of a second term.

This, despite a lack of evidence -- to be clear, any evidence -- to back up such a claim and despite dozens upon dozens of (conservative!) judges shooting down his baseless legal allegations in court.

trump goes nuts

Here is how Trump opened his latest diatribe on the subject:

Swing States that have found massive VOTER FRAUD, which is all of them, CANNOT LEGALLY CERTIFY these votes as complete & correct without committing a severely punishable crime.

Everybody knows that dead people, below age people, illegal immigrants, fake signatures, prisoners,...

.....and many others voted illegally. 

Donald Trump in Milwaukee

That's not all, though, you guys!

Also, machine “glitches” (another word for FRAUD), ballot harvesting, non-resident voters, fake ballots, “stuffing the ballot box”, votes for pay, roughed up Republican Poll Watchers, and sometimes even more votes than people voting, took.....

....place in Detroit, Philadelphia, Milwaukee, Atlanta, Pittsburgh, and elsewhere.

In all Swing State cases, there are far more votes than are necessary to win the State, and the Election itself.

Therefore, VOTES CANNOT BE CERTIFIED. THIS ELECTION IS UNDER PROTEST!

Donald Trump as POTUS

To be clear, there has not been a single proven "glitch," which we hear some dumb people think is a synonym for fraud.

There has also not been a single actual case of ballot harvesting... of non-residents voting... of there being fake ballots... of anyone stuffing the ballot box... of votes being paid for... or of a anyone roughing up any Republican Poll Watchers.

Just because someone Tweets about them doesn't make these things true.

Somehow, far too many Republican officials don't seem to be aware of this fact.

President Donald Trump in Texas

It also seems worth mentioning here that writing words in capital letters doesn't make them any more meaninful, either.

Or, in this case, any more legitimate.

Donald Trump is welcome to go outside and march around with a sign in protest of his loss.

We don't think President Joe Biden will tear gas him for doing so next month and then walk over to a nearby church and hold a bible in the air for no logical reason in response.

We mean, what insane type of human being do such a thing?

Donald Trump at Press Conference

But that's the only kind of protest one can do if one is unhappy with the election results.

Just like running for President in 2024, however, this requires a bit of actual work.

It requires turning off cable news for a reason that doesn't involve playing golf at a country club you own.

And we all know Donald Trump is incapable of doing that.

Joe Biden v. Donald Trump

At the end of the day, Biden and Kamala Harris will be sworn in as President and Vice President, respectively, on January 20, 2021.

They won the election fair and square -- multiple times, as it turns out, thanks to Trump's refusal to concede.

We're long past the point of wondering who will be the next President.

We've tragically arrived at the point where we simply must wonder how much damage to the country this current President is doing by spreading wild conspiracy theories that only serve to placate his ego and rile up his narrow-minded base.

To quote Trump himself... how SAD.

Donald Trump: The Supreme Court is Stupid and Scared and It Hates Me!

It has come to this for soon-to-be-former President Donald Trump:

He now believes that the Supreme Court, whose latest three judges he and his very conservative friends nominated for their positions, is out to get him.

Donald Trump in Milwaukee

On Friday night, the Supreme Court rejected a bid from Texas' attorney general to block the ballots of millions of voters in battleground states that went in favor of President-elect Joe Biden.

The court's action came in a one-page order, which said the complaint was denied "for lack of standing."

This means that all nine Justices agreed that the challenge lacked any and all evidence and/or basis in fact.

Simply put, the highest court in the land, which Trump had openly said he hoped would overturn the 2020 election results, laughed the President and his cronies out of the room.

Donald Trump as POTUS

And Trump took it like a mature champ.

JUST KIDDING!

The Supreme Court really let us down. No Wisdom, No Courage! Tweeted the unstable Commander-in-Chief just before midnight.

The court's order was issued with no public dissents -- and it marks strongest indication yet that Trump has zero chance of overturning election results in court.

President Donald Trump in Texas

In an historic, troubling and utterly ridiculous legal move, Texas had tried to sue Pennsylvania, Georgia, Wisconsin and Michigan... alleging fraud, without any proof.

However, in order for a state to bring a case in court, especially the Supreme Court, this state must show it has been injured.

In basic terms, the court said Texas could not show that it was injured by the way other states conducted their fair and free elections.

"Texas has not demonstrated a judicially cognizable interest in the manner in which another State conducts its elections," the court wrote on Friday.

Joe Biden v. Donald Trump

The Electoral College will convene Monday to affirm Biden's win -- as Trump continues to whine that the entire universe is against him.

"So, you’re the President of the United States, and you just went through an election where you got more votes than any sitting President in history, by far - and purportedly lost," he also Tweeted in response to this Supreme Court ruling.

"You can’t get “standing” before the Supreme Court, so you “intervene” with wonderful states....."

djt tweets1

Concluded the sociopath and wannabe dictator:

"....that, after careful study and consideration, think you got “screwed”, something which will hurt them also.

"Many others likewise join the suit but, within a flash, it is thrown out and gone, without even looking at the many reasons it was brought.

"A Rigged Election, fight on!"

Donald Trump at Press Conference

That's the thing, though.

There's nowhere left for Trump to fight.

Joe Biden won this election on November 7 and Trump continues to lose in court on a near-daily basis.

Tragically, however, he keeps taking America down with him at every legal and rambling turn.

Donald Trump in Wisconsin

We mean... 

... Kevin McCarthy, the top ranking Republican in the U.S. House of Representatives, had earlier in the week attached his name to 125 fellow House Republicans who supported Trump's longshot/completely insane and dangerous bid.

A significant number of elected Republican officials are willing to ignore the will of American voters in order to install Trump as a President that a large majority of voters do NOT want in office.

So, yes, while it's fun to watch Trump lose hit $hit on Twitter and while it's enjoyable to see him lose to the TIME Person of the Year over and over and over again.

This whole thing is also scary AF.

Lara Trump: We’re Gonna Win This Election No Matter What It Takes!

As President Trump runs out of options in his legal battle to seize the vote in certain battleground states, he's seemingly doomed campaign has begun to fade from the headlines.

But that doesn't mean he's giving up entirely.

As we've discussed previously, the president and his legal team seem to be pursuing several options simultaneously, but they're entering long-shot territory with most of their strategies.

At first, the plan with the best chance of succeeding seemed to be challenging the election results in court.

The problem there, of course, is that Trump has no legal grounds on which to do so, and his lawsuits keep getting laughed out of court.

That leaves a much more unlikely -- and much more controversial -- path to the presidency for Trump.

Basically, he can subvert the will of the people by pressuring state legislators to appoint Trump electors in districts where Joe Biden won the popular vote.

It would basically amount to throwing out the results of the election and issuing a death blow to American democracy.

So perhaps we shouldn't be surprised that the Trump team seems to have every intention of pursuing it.

The president's daughter-in-law, Lara Trump, appeared on Fox News this week to assure voters that her family is still pursuing every strategy in order to seize this election -- even the totally unscrupulous, possibly criminal ones.

"Last time I checked the people were still in charge of the United States of America and there are about 74 million people out there who do not feel like the result of this election that's been presented is accurate," Lara said.

"And I think it's very hard for people to rationalize that a guy like Joe Biden who could barely scrape together 12 people to go to a campaign event for him, even a couple of weeks ago, suddenly somehow got around 80 million votes," she continued.

"Donald Trump gained 10 million votes from 2016, we all were out working across the country hard, you saw that tens of thousands of people would come to Trump events and then like 12 to 20 people showing up to a Joe Biden event."

What Lara failed to mention, of course, is that Biden's rallies were sparsely attended because the former vice president was following proper protocol in order to prevent the spread of Covid-19 -- which is why his entire family didn't wind up catching the disease.

As far as the vote totals -- yes, a very large number of people voted for President Trump.

But more of them voted for Joe Biden.

We need to get Lara a crash course on how elections work before she makes any more TV appearances!

The wife of Eric Trump has been one of the faces of Donald's long-shot fight for the White House, and it's only because she really wants to see her father-in-law installed for a second term.

Lara is reportedly planning a run for a North Carolina Senate seat in 2022.

If that doesn't pan out, she'll likely continue her broadcasting career on the long-rumored Trump News Network.

This has been your daily reminder that no matter what happens, no one in the Trump family will suffer any consequences of any kind.

Lara trump were gonna win this election no matter what it takes

Donald Trump: Defying Aides Who Urge Him to Concede?

We knew going into this election that this is no typical year -- and no typical president.

We knew that in 2020, Election Day would likely drag on into an election week -- and possibly even an election month.

Donald Trump: Down in Various Dumps

The refusal of President Donald Trump to admit defeat and concede the election was predicted by numerous pundits and prognosticators.

But what comes next? Well, that's a little more difficult to foretell.

For weeks now, we've been exploring the various avenues that remain for Trump and his legal team in their ongoing effort to contest the outcome of the election.

Donald Trump Isn't Worried

There were very few options to begin with, and they're diminishing by the day.

At this point, the president would need to take unprecedented action and receive unprecedented support from state and local election officials in order to secure a second term in the White House.

It seems that two strategies remain for Trump, and both of them are long shots, to put it lightly:

Our Actual President

He can take steps to halt the voter certification process, which would require cooperation from legislatures and election boards in several contested states.

The other tactic would involve manipulating the Electoral College and pressuring Republican state legislatures to appoint Trump electors in districts where Biden won the popular vote.

Again, this would require a level of loyal support that Trump does not seem to enjoy at the moment, especially as some of these legislators would be facing criminal charges by defying the will of the people.

Donald Trump in a Foul Mood

So yeah, in short, Trump is a man who's running out of options.

And according to a new report from NBC News, even the president's own staffers have begun recommending that he consider what options are available to him for a graceful "conclusion" to his legal battle.

(The word "concession" is reportedly not being used in the president's presence.)

Donald Trump Addresses the Nation

"The legal challenges are continuing, but those close to the president, and frankly the president, understand they're futile," a senior administration official told NBC.

The insider says that Trump is unwilling to give up his fight at the moment, but he is entertaining strategies for how he might save face when the battle eventually comes to a close.

Sources say the president intends to continue contesting the results until at least December, at which time, he might be willing to concede that Biden will enter the White House on January 20 -- but Trump will note at that time that the results of the race remain questionable.

The Donald Waves

Trump aides sweetened the scenario by suggesting that the president announce during this speech that he intends to run for the White House again in 2024.

Unfortunately, that announcement is still several weeks away, and Trump's lawyers say they remain committed to lawsuits they've filed in key battleground states.

Though the president's concession -- excuse us, "conclusion" -- may come as early as December 14, Trump's campaign announced Wednesday that it would pay $3 million to fund a partial recount in Wisconsin.

Donald Trump as Commander-in-Chief

So needless to say, the battle is far from over.

In fact, White House staffers have reportedly been instructed not to seek employment elsewhere, as it remains the official stance of the Trump administration that the president will be sworn in for a second term on January 20.

Unless he holds his own private inauguration ceremony, that seems extraordinarily unlikely.

Donald Trump Could Win the Election By Issuing One Order

Well, the votes have been counted, and the touch screen red and blue maps have been stashed back in John King's garage for the next four years, but we're still not quite sure who will be sworn in as president on January 20.

Make no mistake, Joe Biden won the election, and in any normal year, his opponent would have conceded by now.

Leading His Cult

But this is no normal year, and Biden's opponent is certainly no normal president.

Right now, Trump is basically Leonardo DiCaprio in the "I'm not f--king leaving!" scene from The Wolf of Wall Street.

He seems to be under the impression that if he continues to declare himself the winner, the rest of the country will eventually start believing him.

Donald Trump in Missouri

That particular strategy probably won't work on its own, but the sad thing is that Trump has other weapons in his arsenal which could prove far more effective.

For weeks now, we've been discussing long shot strategies Trump could use to essentially seize the Electoral College.

The downside for Trump is that most of them require large-scale cooperation from governors and members of state legislatures, few of whom seem to feel that level of loyalty to the president, and some of whom could face criminal charges as a result of doing his bidding.

President Donald Trump in Texas

But Trump is still president until Inauguration Day, and you can bet he's exploring options that would enable him to act alone to change the outcome of the election.

And one such option would be halting the voter certification process.

As Snopes reports, even the Biden campaign admits that the results of the election will not be official until the certification process is completed.

Donald Trump is Sad

“Joe Biden has NOT been certified as the winner of any states, let alone any highly contested states headed for mandatory recounts, or any states where our campaign has valid and legitimate legal challenges that could determine the ultimate victor,” reads a fundraising email sent out by Biden's staff earlier this week.

The tallying of votes mostly takes place at the state level, with state legislatures granting this authority to a board of electors or an election official.

The timeline varies with each state, but in most cases, the unofficial vote is tallied on election night via a secretary of state's website, and when one candidate's lead begins to seem statistically insurmountable, journalists call the state in that candidate's favor.

Donald Trump and Melania Trump Together

The results are not confirmed until December, but usually that's something of a formality, as the official outcome matches the unofficial "call" in virtually 100 percent of cases.

The process of calling the election took longer than unusual this year due to the surge in mail-in ballots, but on November 7, numerous mainstream media outlets called the election for Biden, and in past years, this would have been the point at which his opponent conceded.

But again -- abnormal year, abnormal opponent.

Donald Trump: An Image

As a result, the certification process has taken on added importance.

And Trump has made no secret of his intention to interfere with the process.

Republican election officials in Michigan's Wayne County have already refused to certify the results of the popular vote.

Donald Trump as The President

They cite claims of voter fraud as their reason for doing so, even though such claims remain entirely unsubstantiated.

A similar effort is underway in Arizona, and Trump supporters in Michigan and Nevada have filed lawsuits to stop the certification process in those states.

So if there's enough manufactured outcry from the MAGA set, could Trump issue an executive order halting the certification process at a federal level?

Donald Trump as Our POTUS

Technically yes -- but the results would be catastrophic.

“It would be the end of democracy as we know it,” University of Kentucky Law Professor Joshua Dougla recently told the Associated Press. “This is just not a thing that can happen.”

Obviously, Trump has demonstrated on numerous occasions that he cares not a whit about American democracy, but such an action would likely be met with stiff opposition from within his own party -- and we can only hope that an ally-less Trump wouldn't act quite so boldly.

White House Press Secretary Kayleigh McEnany Hilariously Dodges Question About Joe Biden: Don’t Ask Me! Ask the White House!

Well, the ballots have been counted, the results are in, and in a normal election year, the sitting president would be preparing to cede power to his victorious opponent.

But this is no normal year -- and it's certainly no normal president.

As you're probably aware, Joe Biden won the election by both the Electoral College and popular vote totals.

There's no evidence of voter fraud or anything else that might cast doubt on the outcome, and yet, Donald Trump seems to have no plans of conceding.

This makes things very awkward for, well ... everybody, really.

But the situation is especially weird for members of Trump's staff, many of whom still have to face the media every day and pretend that their boss is anything other than a lame duck.

A duck a l'orange, you might say.

Much of the burden here falls to White House Press Secretary Kayleigh McEnany.

Now obviously, Kayleigh is no stranger to slinging bull on behalf of her boss.

She may look like the next Bachelorette, but she's actually a skilled BS artist with a knack for making the actions of horrible men sound perfectly reasonable.

(Come to think of it, that skill set would make her an ideal fit for The Bachelorette.)

Anyway, McEnany appeared on Fox and Friends this week, which used to be one of the president's favorite shows before he decided that the folks at Fox are no longer his friends.

At one point, Kayleigh fielded a question about if and when Biden will begin receiving national security briefings, as is customary for an incoming president.

And by "fielded" we mean Kayleigh ran from the question like it was a nest of venomous spiders launched at her from slingshot.

"I haven't asked the president about that. That would be a question more for the White House," she told the Fox and Friends clique.

"But I will say all laws are being followed with regard to an expected transition. But we expect to carry on as the Trump administration," she continued.

"We'll see how our litigation goes," Kayleigh concluded, as thought a president suing to change the results of an election he lost is the most normal thing in the world.

Now, there was a lot of nonsense in McEnany's reply, but what we'd like to focus on is her suggestion that the interviewer should bring that question up with the White House.

Is she not aware that she's on TV because she's representing the White House?

Does she mean this guy should address his question to the physical structure itself as a final absurdity to cap off this thoroughly ridiculous election season?

Look, this is the sort of insanity that's become part of daily life in Trump's America, but as a new day dawns, it sheds the light of a new perspective on the insanity of the last four years.

There was a time when this Sean Spicer or Sarah Huckabee Sanders or whoever was lying for the president that day could say this sort of thing and it would go mostly unnoticed.

But Kayleigh had the misfortune to take over in the final shift, when America is regaining its sense of scruples -- and if she keeps peddling this sort of crap, she might find herself nigh unemployable once Donnie heads for the hills.

White house press secretary kayleigh mcenany hilariously dodges

Donald Trump’s Wife is Going to Leave Him the Second Joe Biden Takes the Oath of Office

If you were married to Donald Trump, you’d probably want to divorce him as soon as you could get your full divorce payment from your pre-nup. It’s sort of like the reverse of a mortgage with a balloon payment; you put in your time doing something you hate and at the end you get a big, fat check.

Melania Trump is also a human being and as such she has been looking forward to divorcing Donald Trump for a long time. Seriously, do you believe anyone in the country was more excited when he got COVID than Melania Trump? She almost had the whole enchilada right there.

I’m not sure how much of a Trump insider Omarosa Manigault Newman is today after getting fired by the Trump administration and writing a tell-all book about their utter incompetence, but she is out telling us what we already know, that Melania is looking forward to Donald Trump’s last day as President as much as the rest of us. Omarosa said “Melania is counting every minute until he is out of office and she can divorce.” The reason she’s stuck around for the last four years, the former Apprentice contestant added, is she fears reprisal. “If Melania were to try to pull the ultimate humiliation and leave while he’s in office, he would find a way to punish her.”

I don’t know that Omarosa has any special knowledge here because if you asked literally anyone if they thought Melania was going to divorce Donald Trump, they would say yes, unless you asked Cenk Uygar, who would say “of cooooooourse!” Itks a bit like picking the Yankees to win the World Series, you’ve got about a one in three chance of being right with no insider information at all.

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Aubrey O’Day: Don Jr. Hates His Dad! Ivanka is Gay! Eric Trump Railed Miss Universe in The Apprentice Board Room!

Well, you can't have a presidential election without an October surprise or two.

And since 2020 is the most bonkers year anyone can recall, it stands to reason that this year's last-minute twists would be the most ridiculous of all time!

biden-trump

By now, we're sure you've heard all about Hunter Biden's laptop and the revelation that he's the first person in recorded history to fall asleep in the middle of a crack binge.

Now, the tables are being turned, and we're learning some insider gossip about the Trump family courtesy of someone who's spent a good deal of time working under -- and top of -- Donald Trump Jr.

Last time we checked in on her, Danity Kane singer Aubrey O'Day was allegedly the victim of some fake news herself, having disputed a British tabloid's claim that she'd transformed into an obese shut-in during the pandemic.

Aubrey and Don Jr.

Frankly, we have no idea what sort of shape Aubrey is in these days, but we do know that she's returned to doing what she does best -- spilling tea about the Donald and his hilariously dysfunctional brood.

As you may recall, Don Jr. had an affair with Aubrey while he was still married to Vanessa Haydon.

At this point, we'd like to take a moment to remind you that before she met her future husband, Vanessa cheated on her gang-banger boyfriend with Leonardo DiCaprio.

Donald Trump Jr. and Vanessa Trump

That doesn't have anything to do with this story, really, we just like to take every opportunity to reflect on the fact that Don Jr. somehow married a badass.

Anyway, like millions of other Americans, Aubrey is disgusted by the way that Trump and his cronies are attempting to discredit Joe Biden by calling attention to Hunter's struggle with substance abuse.

And so, during last week's debates, she took to Twitter to share some insider info about the doughiest first family in American history.

Aunbrey Tweet

"Since trump has now lowered this debate to trashing family," Aubrey began before firing off a list of fun facts about the Trump clan.

"don jr HATES his father," she tweeted, apparently having decided to kick things off with an obvious one.

"ivanka is a lesbian on the low," O'Day continued, ramping up the stakes with admirable speed.

Ivanka

"eric f--ked miss universe on the apprentice board room table while with his now-wife. #Debates2020," Aubrey concluded.

That last one's not really surprising or consequential, but we respect Aubrey's commitment to including all three of the Donald's stooges while graciously showing mercy to Tiffany and Barron -- as the former is mostly blameless, and the latter is an innocent victim who will likely bless us with one hell of a tell-all someday.

You might be asking yourself if Don Jr. would really share all of this information with his mistress.

Aubrey O'Day: Shade Me!

We'll respond to that query with a question of our own and ask you if DJ strikes you as the type to keep anything inside.

Look at his recent TV appearances -- the man can't even keep the coke granules from falling out of his nose, and that stuff is expensive!

Not surprisingly, the Trumps have yet to respond to Aubrey's allegations, but they'll probably retaliate in their own way very soon.

And by that, we mean a bunch of Twitter users with names like Raskolnikov42069 will start circulating her nudes this weekend.

Lil Wayne Thinks Trump Cares About Black People

Donald Trump probably took one look at Lil Wayne before asking his staff to call local papers for ad space.

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Trump Administration Thinks Billie Eilish is America’s Most Pressing Crisis

What I want the president to be doing right now, regardless of party, and regardless of who wins the election on Tuesday, is finding a way to get us safely through the COVID pandemic and minimizing the economic damage that it’s bound to cause. What the current president seems to want to do is bitch about Billie Eilish, a teenager who dresses like an old-timey hobo.

The Washington Post reports that when looking for celebrities to make a PSA about the coronavirus as a way to keep people safe, maybe convince them to wear a mask and be a decent human being, the Trump administration made a list of hundreds of celebrities who couldn’t be included because they had badmouthed Trump in some way.

Among those who did not make the cut were actress Jennifer Lopez, because she had criticized the president’s immigration policies at her Super Bowl performance; director Judd Apatow, because he “believes Trump does not have the intellectual capacity to run as President”; and singer-songwriter Billie Eilish, described as “not a Trump Supporter” and “destroying our country and everything we care about,” according to a document that outlines issues with numerous celebrities under consideration for the campaign.

Super-cool right? Public health is important but making sure whoever we get to spread the message about how to stay safe likes Donald Trump and kisses his ass is more important.

None of the celebrity PSAs went live, and the campaign is under review at HHS. Politico first reported about the $250 million contract and the ad campaign.

Sweet, there hasn’t been a second round of stimulus checks or really any significant movement towards any kind of relief bill but we spent a quarter of a billion dollars on not running ads with celebrities who were mean to Donald Trump. God bless America.

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Trump’s Disastrous Omaha Rally Highlights His Historically Terrible Music Choices

I think Donald Trump is being trolled by someone inside his campaign. There’s really no other way to explain his baffling choices in his campaign music which was very starkly highlighted at his Omaha rally Tuesday night.

I actually can’t believe President Trump is the person who uploaded that video.

You see, hours before this tweet, Trump left a rally in Omaha by helicopter while his supporters were unable to get buses or shuttles to their car and were forced to walk three miles to their cars.

Setting aside that John Fogerty keeps suing Trump to stop him from the Creedence Clearwater Revival song ‘Fortunate Son’, I am just shocked that Trump would even want to use it.

If you’re not familiar with the song, Fogerty wrote it to express his anger that the rich and powerful were able to avoid serving in Vietnam, the fortunate sons that Fogerty wasn’t one of. Donald Trump is the fortunate son of the song, right down to his medical deferment from Vietnam, and it’s not a good thing.

Trump isn’t actually the first presidential candidate to use ‘Fortunate Son’; John Kerry played the song at rallies in 2004, the implication at the time being that George W Bush was the fortunate son in the song as Kerry, like Fogerty, was a Vietnam veteran.

Ronald Reagan also famously played Bruce Springsteen’s ‘Born in the USA’ at rallies in the 1980s, a song about the poor treatment the US gives to poor people and veterans that I can’t imagine anyone in the Reagan campaign ever listened to. This played out again when his Vice President, George HW Bush, used the socialist anthem ‘This Land is Your Land’ as a campaign anthem.

How does this keep happening? Bill Clinton is seemingly the only presidential candidate in my lifetime to not pick a song that doesn’t totally undermine their message.

Donald Trump has also been playing a lot of The Village People at his rallies, but since he’s also talking a lot about kissing men at his rallies since he had COVID, that one might be intentional.

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