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Seth Rogen Says Tom Cruise’s Scientology Pitch Was Real Weird

Tom Cruise loves Scientology. People get mad because Chris Pratt is a Christian and occasionally says something like “I’ll pray for you to feel better” but if he talked about Jesus as much as Tom Cruise talks about the weird science fiction nonsense Scientologists believe in, he’d be Kirk Cameron.

Seth Rogan recalled how Cruise tried to pitch him on the religion when they first met, via Uproxx.

Rogen also recalled his “bizarre” meeting with Cruise, who was in his “very weird period, where he had had his child, but no one had seen his child and there was genuine speculation as to whether the child was real… I remember meeting this baby, being like, ‘This poor baby doesn’t know she’s like the most talked about person on the planet.’ Which is a lot of pressure.” Deep into the conversation, Cruise brought up Scientology. “I’ll never forget the wording [Tom] used,” Rogen said. “‘It’s like with Scientology,’ he said, ‘If you let me just tell you what it was really about… just give me like 20 minutes to, like, really just tell you what it was about, you would say, ‘No f*cking way. No f*cking way.’”

Yeah, we all saw the episode of South Park that explains Scientology and I think a lot of people’s react was “No fucking way.”

Luckily for Rogen, who didn’t think he could turn down the biggest movie star in the world at the time, Judd Apatow gave Cruise a polite no thank you and no one joined any weird religions.

The post Seth Rogen Says Tom Cruise’s Scientology Pitch Was Real Weird appeared first on The Blemish.

Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez are Apparently Out of Other Celebs to Have Failed Relationships With, Reportedly Back Together

One of my favorite episodes of South Park is the one where Butters has to return to his native Hawaii because he’s undergoing his Hapa Noa. Basically, Butters is just pissed off all the time because of how good Ben Affleck has it and he gets over it when he finds out Affleck is married to Jennifer Garner and not Jennifer Lopez, because Jennifer Garner isn’t that hot.

Butters is going to be pissed off again because it looks like Affleck has run out of women to date for a few weeks and break up with and is back with JLo.

E! reports that Affleck and Lopez took a weeklong vacation together.

After the stars appeared separately at the VAX LIVE concert in Los Angeles on Sunday, May 2, they jetted off together to the Yellowstone Club in Montana, where they vacationed together for about a week, a source tells E! News. “They were alone,” says the source. “Just the two of them.”

In photos obtained by Daily Mail, Lopez and Affleck can be seen driving together in Montana.

Now, I have had enough sex with enough ex-girlfriends to know that this doesn’t mean they’re back together. They’re both single and sometimes it’s easier to just have sex with someone you used to have sex with than trying to impress someone new, even when you’re a big star. That doesn’t mean you’re going to start dating.

The post Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez are Apparently Out of Other Celebs to Have Failed Relationships With, Reportedly Back Together appeared first on The Blemish.

Tristan Thompson is Trying to Legal Silence the Woman Who Claims She Had an Affair With Him

If you want to stop people from talking about something, the best thing you can do is get your lawyers involved and start suing people. It absolutely never fails.

Page Six reports Tristan Thompson is sending out cease-and-desist orders to keep people from talking about Sydney Chase’s allegation that she and the basketball player had a fling.

Adam John Grandmaison, host of the “No Jumper” podcast, told Page Six on Tuesday that he erased the initial video because of the cease-and-desist he received from Thompson’s attorney, Marty Singer.

“Yeah, we got a cease-and-desist and deleted it,” Grandmaison shared. “Honestly, I wouldn’t have posted it in the first place if I knew it was going to mess up a relationship.”

Who could have possibly seen that accusations of someone cheating on their partner could cause a problem with that person’s relationships?

“You recklessly allowed Ms. Chase to make outlandish false statements about my client on the podcast without seeking to verify her claims in any way,” the letter continues.

“No Jumper” since has reuploaded the video but edited out the portion in which Chase makes her claims about Thompson’s “peek-a-boo d–k.”

Thompson’s attorney also accused Chase of fabricating tweets from Thompson and using the publicity to further her own career.

She has allegedly pitched a reality series to the Zeus Network, which features Blac Chyna, after the interview went viral.

Zeus Network didn’t immediately return Page Six’s requests for comment.

We’re also told Chase has been sharing screenshots of her increasing social media statistics as a way to secure more paid sponsorships.

You can’t really blame her, that’s exactly how Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton got famous. Plus in twenty years she can talk about how sexist it was that everyone was buying what she was selling.

The post Tristan Thompson is Trying to Legal Silence the Woman Who Claims She Had an Affair With Him appeared first on The Blemish.

Kevin Spacey Dodges Another Bullet as Judge Rules Alleged Victim Can’t Sue Him Anonymously

Things have a way of working out for Kevin Spacey. You know, not his career but all the lawsuits and whatnot. A lot of people who have tried to sue Kevin Spacey over alleged sexual misconduct have died. And it’s not like Kevin Spacey had anything to do with those deaths, but he really caught a break there.

Spacey has caught another break as an anonymous man who was suing Spacey for a sexual assault that took place when he was 14 was told he could not sue Spacey anonymously and the man has already said he would drop his lawsuit if he was forced to come forward with his identity to proceed with the suit.

Here’s what Variety reported about the ruling.

But Judge Lewis A. Kaplan was unpersuaded by that argument, noting that C.D. had already shared his story many times over the years, including with Vulture in 2017.

“The evidence suggests that C.D. knowingly and repeatedly took the risk that any of these individuals at one point or another would reveal his true identity in a manner that would bring that identity to wide public attention, particularly given Spacey’s celebrity,” Kaplan wrote.

The judge also found that Spacey’s defense could be hampered if the accuser is allowed to remain anonymous, and that the issue is one of fundamental fairness.

“C.D. has actively pursued this lawsuit — including by recruiting his co-plaintiff,” Kaplan wrote. “He seeks $40 million in damages. He makes serious charges and, as a result, has put his credibility in issue.”

It’s hard to argue with the idea that Spacey has to know who the plaintiff is if he’s going to put together a defense, and he does have the right to defend himself against these sorts of allegations. But Spacey is really starting to look like the OJ Simpson of gay alleged rapists.

The post Kevin Spacey Dodges Another Bullet as Judge Rules Alleged Victim Can’t Sue Him Anonymously appeared first on The Blemish.

‘Genius’ Bill Gates Didn’t Have a Pre-Nup

Bill and Melinda Gates are divorcing, which shouldn’t come as much of a surprise to anyone. If you’d spent 27 years not being satisfied sexually by an 85lb software engineer’s tiny penis, you’d probably be eyeing the Scrooge McDuckian pile of money you had amassed and planning your retirement to Cunnilingus Island, too.

What was surprising to me is that TMZ reports the couple did not have a prenup.

The post ‘Genius’ Bill Gates Didn’t Have a Pre-Nup appeared first on The Blemish.

Post Malone Caused a Real Scene Dropping Major Cash on Magic: the Gathering Cards

Pokémon cards have been having a pretty big moment because of Logan Paul and other YouTubers reminding people they still exist and anyone under about 35 grew up in a world where Pokémon was the biggest thing around. It’s funny now to go back to shows that released in 1998 or 1999 that talked about Pokémon as a passing fad no one really understood; as if the appeal of a franchise about cute monsters alongside big beefy badass monsters with fighting and collecting rare critters is hard to understand.

Left behind so far in the explosion of trading card games has been the granddaddy of them all, Magic: The Gathering. As Pokémon and other card games like Digimon and newcomers Flesh and Blood and MetaZoo have been flying off the shelves, the only hard to find Magic products are the ones that have been intentionally under printed by Wizards of the Coast.

Don’t get me wrong here, Magic has been doing just fine and its parent company Hasbro has been touting the brand’s success, but there are for sure a bunch of Hasbro execs who literally murder someone to see Magic have the kind of broad success Pokémon has had.

The moment that causes Magic to boom might just be around the corner because Post Malone was spotted by TMZ at the Atlas MTG booth at legendary California nerd swap meet Frank & Son dropping a ton of money on Magic cards.

But here’s what TMZ didn’t know; Post was with YouTubers Josh Lee Kwai and Jimmy Wong, hosts of the monthly Magic gameplay show Game Knights, as well as regular Game Knights guest NFL linebacker Cassius Marsh.

Magic has been trying a lot of things to drum up interest, like having Mr Beast play the online Magic Arena as part of a $50,000 giveaway, but it’s failed to make waves because those people aren’t passionate about the game. Post Malone actually is passionate about the game. I’ve heard on Reddit he plays a Zur, the Enchanter deck.

It seems a lot like Post’s trip was gearing up for his just-announced appearance on Game Knights. They often build decks around certain themes for episodes so it seems likely that the hosts and their guests would go somewhere like Frank & Son to pick up the cards they need for whatever decks they’re playing. Game Knights shows Magic gameplay in a very accessible way, so if a lot of Post Malone’s fans tune in, Magic might not be languishing on the shelves Pokémon is flying off of for much longer.

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CDC to America: Take Off Your Masks! Outdoors! If You’re Vaccinated!

Great news, Americans who have taken the responsible step of getting vaccinated:

The US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention issued new guidance on Tuesday, updating its  outdoor mask use policy for fully vaccinated Americans.

Simply put, you can now ditch the face covering any time you're outside.

Almost any time, that is.

Joe Biden Takes Off Mask

Said CDC Director Dr. Rochelle Walensky said during a virtual White House briefing this afternoon:

"If you are fully vaccinated and want to attend a small outdoor gathering with people who are vaccinated and unvaccinated, or dine at an outdoor restaurant with friends from multiple households, the science shows if you are vaccinated, you can do so safely unmasked."

It's been accepted for awhile now, within the medical community, that COVID-19 is far harder to transmit in fresh air.

But this marks the first time this official organization has deemed it okay to remove one's mask in the outdoors.

Joe Biden, No Mask

The federal health agency, however, did pass along some continued warnings.

Even if you've been vaccinated, you should avoid large indoor gatherings, for example.

The CDC did not define how many people would be in a large gathering.

However, the agency's website describes "large gatherings" as bringing together "many people from multiple households in a private or public space."

cdc says

“Today is another day we can take a step back to the normalcy of before,” Walensky emphasized on Tuesday, with the United States having administered over the coronavirus vaccines to about 95 million people in 2021.

For the fully vaccinated who do choose to attend a crowded outdoor event, such as a live performance, parade, or sporting event, wearing a mask is still recommended.

"Generally, for vaccinated people, outdoor activities without a mask are safe.

"However, we continue to recommend masking in crowded outdoor settings and venues, such as packed stadiums and concerts where there is decreased ability to maintain physical distance and where many unvaccinated people may also be present," Walensky said.

"We will continue to recommend this until widespread vaccination is achieved."

President Joe Biden

Twenty-six states have mask mandates that apply to both indoor and outdoor settings at the moment.

After studing this virus for awhile, Scientists now understand that it is an almost entirely an airborne disease -- and that it thrives in unventilated spaces where maskless people congregate in close quarters.

The coronavirus “just cannot accumulate in the air outdoors,” Dr. Linsey Marr of Virginia Tech, one of the nation’s leading aerosol scientists, told NPR ahead of Tuesday’s announcement.

“It’s like putting a drop of dye into the ocean.”

Kamala Harris and Joe Biden

To be clear, the CDC advises both vaccinated and unvaccinated people to still wear masks in indoor public spaces, such as a mall, movie theater or museum.

On Tuesday, Presidents Biden used the new mask guidance from the CDC as an opportunity to urge absolutely everyone to get vaccinated. ASAP.

Joe Biden Covid Address

"The bottom line is clear, if you're vaccinated, you can do more things, more safely, both outdoors as well as indoors," he said during remarks at the White House.

"So for those who haven't gotten their vaccination yet, especially if you're younger, or thinking you don't need it, this is another great reason to go get vaccinated. Now."

Concluded the Commander-in-Chief:

"We're back to that place now as long as you get vaccinated. So go get the shot. It's never been easier.

'And once you're fully vaccinated, you can go without a mask when you're outside, and away from big crowds."

Caitlyn Jenner’s Terrible Politics and General Stupidity are Alienating Her Family

After winning the gold medal in the men’s decathlon at the 1976 Olympics, sportswriter Tony Kornheiser said of Caitlyn Jenner “He and wife, Chrystie, are so high up on the pedestal of American heroism, it would take a crane to get them down.” That crane has come in the form of Jenner’s own terrible ideas.

Jenner is running for Governor of California in that state’s wild recall election rules. Basically, there’s going to be a recall election election in California as enough voters have signed a petition to get it on the ballot. The way this process works is that voters will vote yes or no on if Governor Gavin Newsom should be recalled and also vote on who should be Governor if he is recalled. If the yes vote fails to get more than 50% of the vote, Newsom will remain Governor. If yes does get a majority, Newsom will be replaced as Governor by whoever gets the most votes. Newsom is not permitted to be on the second ballot because the threshold for winning is potentially much lower as hundreds of people will likely end up on that ballot.

Jenner’s campaign is going about as well as you’d expect the campaign of an athlete and reality TV star’s campaign for Governor of California in an off-year election to go.

Buckle up, buckaroo.

The opening salvo of her campaign has been typical Republican claptrap about Democrats being soft on crime straight out of the Ronald Reagan playbook from the last time people actually gave a s**t about Jenner. It ended with her getting owned by Congressman Ted Lieu.

This didn’t sit well with Jenner’s former daughter-in-law Kim Kardashian, who has devoted herself to improving our penal system and reducing the insane amount of incarceration in the US.

TMZ reports that Kim was “disappointed” and “disturbed” by Jenner’s comments, and that Kim supports Gavin Newsom and won’t endorse or vote for Jenner in the election.

Jenner actually could win this election. If the recall is successful, all Jenner would have to do would be get the most votes in the second question. With hundreds of people running, the threshold she needs to clear could be as low as 30% if just two other candidates have serious campaigns. Arnold Schwarzenegger became Governor through this exact process, though he received about 48% of the vote at the time.

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Bill Gates Says Patents are More Important Than More COVID Vaccines

I just found out today that there’s a conspiracy theory that believes Bill Gates created the COVID-19 coronavirus variant in order to reduce the world population and make money on the vaccine, I guess. It’s like the plot of a bad movie with a poorly-motivated villain.

I do agree that Bill Gates is evil and his portrayal of himself as some great humanitarian is mostly bullshit. Since he announced he was devoting his life to charity and giving away most of his money, he’s actually gotten way richer than he was.

While Bill Gates didn’t create COVID, he sure as hell doesn’t think stopping it is more important than protecting patents.

Well, there’s only so many vaccine factories in the world and people are very serious about the safety of vaccines. And so moving something that had never been done — moving a vaccine, say, from a [Johnson & Johnson] factory into a factory in India — it’s novel — it’s only because of our grants and expertise that that can happen at all.

Basically what Gates is saying is “if you want to stop the pandemic, the answer isn’t to tell people how to make vaccines that work, it’s to make checks payable to Bill Gates.”

Now, the idea that Bill Gates is trying to kill a bunch of people to solve overpopulation is ridiculous and he would be doing a really bad job. Don’t get me wrong, COVID is something we should take seriously and get vaccinated for and wear masks and generally act like it’s the pandemic it is. Three million global dead is a lot of people, but it’s a drop in the ocean of the global population of nearly 8 billion people, about 3/4s of whom would have to die to “solve” overpopulation if you were to do it by killing people, which would be insane.

But you don’t have to have created a situation to see a big opportunity to cash in.

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Danny Masterson Says He Wouldn’t Have Been Charged with Rape If Only Leah Remini Weren’t Such a Huge Superstar

Danny Masterson is about to go on trial for rape and he’s previewing a very strange defense. See, Masterson is essentially claiming that the only reason he’s been charged is that his accusers and the prosecution and police are all so starstruck with Leah Remini that they’re just doing whatever she wants because of her grudge with Scientology.

Now, I want you to name something Leah Remini’s been in that isn’t her Scientology docuseries and that didn’t also star Kevin James. Can you do that without going to her IMDB page? Seriously, if you take King of Queens off of her resume we’d all be calling her ‘character actor Leah Remini’ right now.

TMZ is nonetheless reporting that Masterson has asked for more time to prepare a defense in light of Remini’s involvement.

When will powerful women stop using institutional pressure to have their way with men?

I really hope, for Danny Masterson’s sake, that his defense is way better than “How can the truth possibly hold sway over the machinations of someone who played a hot sitcom wife 20 years ago?”

The post Danny Masterson Says He Wouldn’t Have Been Charged with Rape If Only Leah Remini Weren’t Such a Huge Superstar appeared first on The Blemish.

A Former Golden Globes President is Caught Being Racist, Further Highlighting How Pointless Awards Shows Are

We need to get rid of awards shows. I think that the focus on the lack of diversity in awards recipients has really lead people to question why they care about these awards, which is why the ratings for awards shows have just cratered recently.

Philip Berk, an eight-term former president of the Hollywood Foreign Press Association and alleged Brendan Frasier groper, has been expelled from the HFPA after sending an e-mail calling Black Lives Matter a “racist hate group.”

So he was in charge for about a decade, which means a majority of people voted for him, so I’m sure now that he’s gone the diversity problem is solved, right?

To be honest, the funniest thing to me is that he’s white, 88 and from South Africa and he’s calling other people racist.

Hire all the diversity experts you want, people are done caring about awards. There’s a whole awards season like it’s a sport, but it’s just a bunch of old white producers voting to give statues to their favorite movies. It’s not football or baseball. Why do we need more than one awards show for each industry? And honestly, why do we even need that one?

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Matthew McConaughey Is Winning the Race for Texas Governor Before He Even Entered It

Matthew McConaughey could be the next governor of Texas. He’s been notably humble and low-key about the prospect of running, but according to Fox News he’s out to a commanding lead over incumbent Governor Greg Abbott in the latest opinion polls.

The 51-year-old Oscar winner, a Texas native, has been teasing a potential run against Abbott for weeks. He recently told the host of “The Hugh Hewitt Show” that “it would be up to the people more than it would me” whether or not he pivots his career into politics.

Now, in a new poll conducted by The Dallas Morning News and the University of Texas at Tyler, it seems the people have spoken. McConaughey has a commanding lead over Abbot, with 45% of those polled saying they would cast their vote for him versus 33% who would stick with Abbott.

Let’s call this the honeymoon period, though. As Fox points out, when it comes to actual issues, McConaughey doesn’t much appear to the majority of Democrats or Republicans in the state. He’s been presenting himself as a centrist while the electorate has been solidifying to the left and the right of the center.

Once McConaughey declares for the race and has to start saying what he wants to accomplish and what policies he supports, it’s likely the honeymoon will be over. Theoretical candidates always perform better than actual candidates. And people will have to decide for themselves if an actor and celebrity is a good choice for a political leader, considering how poorly that’s gone in the past.

Although unlike other politicians, McConaughey only played a guy who hit on high school girls in a movie, so he has that going for him.

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Paris Hilton Says She Has PTSD From Her Sex Tape

Paris Hilton built her brand for decades on being an airheaded slut. She still kind of leans into that image today, with things like her weird, one-off cooking show that I’m still sure if it was meant to be a joke or if she just stopped doing it because, like Pairs herself, it went viral for all the wrong reasons.

Paris Hilton is basically famous because she had a sex tape that leaked to the public right around the time her reality show, on which she asked if Walmart sold walls, was airing on Fox. And keep in mind as we go on that The Simple Life’s first season was finished before Hilton’s sex tape leaked.

There was speculation at the time that Hilton leaked the tape herself to bring attention to her show, but we know that’s not the case. In fact, Page Six reports that Hilton says the release of her sex tape gave her PTSD.

It’s always there in the back of my mind. When it happened, people were so mean about it to me. The way that I was spoken about on nightly talk shows and the media, to see things with my family was just heartbreaking. I would be in tears every single day, I didn’t want to leave my house, I felt like my life was over.

It was a private experience between two people. You love someone, you trust someone and to have your trust betrayed like that and for the whole world to be watching and laughing … It was even more hurtful to me to have these people think that I did this on purpose — that killed me. It still gives me post-traumatic stress disorder to talk about it.

It’s easy to feel sorry for Hilton after hearing that, so luckily she kept talking.

I had always looked up to these amazing women like Princess Diana and I just felt like when he did that to me, [he] took that all away from me and people would never look at me the same.

Yeah, you think Walmart sold walls was before the sex tape leaked, no one was in danger of confusing you with Princess Diana, who is best remembered for advocating against the use of landmines in warfare.

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Kanye West Has Reportedly Accepted His Divorce, But He Doesn’t Like It

Kanye West and Kim Kardashian’s divorce appears to be going pretty smoothly. It’s strange to see Kanye West being an adult about anything, especially something where he’s not getting his way, but he has been surprisingly calm in public during the entire divorce, essentially agreeing with Kim on all the points of the divorce filing.

But Hollywood Life reports that while Kanye is putting up a brave face, he’s not all that pleased about the divorce.

“Kanye took his time because he was holding out hope that he could fix things,”  a source close to the rapper revealed.  “Clearly that’s not happening, and he’s finally accepted it. His inner circle urged him to hire a good lawyer and settle this once and for all and thankfully he finally listened to reason.”

It’s always good to have a lawyer, but since neither he nor Kim is disputing the terms of their prenup, it’s pretty smooth sailing.

“His main concern is getting equal rights to see his kids,” the source explained. “And since they are both on the same page with that, everyone is expecting it to be a fairly swift resolution.”

“This is not something Kanye wants,” the source continued. “If it were up to him this divorce would not be happening so taking this step was very painful for him. But he’s in a place of acceptance now, there’s really not any other option.”

You know, there was something Kanye could have done to avoid the divorce, and that’s to have been a better husband. I’m almost entirely sure the root cause of Kanye and Kim’s divorce is Kanye finding religion. Once he started Kim not to dress so sexy and then thought he was going to be President of the United States on his platform of “f**k the First Amendment, make kids pray in school,” it was pretty clear that the marriage wasn’t going to last.

Relationships are a partnership and they take work. And if one partner is raising the kids while the other is running around talking about how they almost aborted their first child and calling his mother-in-law’s parter “Calmye” (which admittedly was pretty funny), then it’s not going to work.

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Jake Paul Denies Justine Paradise’s Sexual Assault Accusations

A few days ago, TikTok personality Justine Paradise dropped a bombshell allegation against Jake Paul, claiming that the wannabe boxer sexually assaulted her by forcing her to perform oral sex on him against her will.

Jake Paul has finally issued a response, and that response is that she’s just trying to cash in on the hype from his upcoming exhibition boxing match.

My favorite part is where Jake points out her “adult content website,” that’s a classy move right there.

Paul’s attorney also made a statement to TMZ Sports, which is extra funny because he’s not a real boxer.

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Jake Paul Accused of Sexual Assault by Justine Paradise

Justine Paradise, a fairly popular TikToker, posted a video to YouTube discussing the time she alleges that Jake Paul sexually assaulted her.

The jist of what allegedly happened, according to Paradise, is she was invited over to Jake Paul’s studio/house and hung out with him, eventually making out with him. Jake wanted to go further, she did not, so he took his pants off and forced her to perform oral sex on him against her will.

Now, Jake Paul hasn’t commented on this and these are just allegations, we can’t say for sure what happened.

But honestly, did anyone see the headline “Jake Paul Accused of Sexual Assault” and say “that doesn’t seem likely. I don’t see how that can be true.”

What I will say here is that Justine Paradise seems very convincing and sympathetic and Jake Paul has never come off as either of those for even a second in his entire life to me.

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Charlyne Yi Didn’t Want to Work With ‘Predator’ James Franco in ‘The Disaster Artist’

It’s weird the way that we’ve sort of picked and chosen who gets to keep their career in the wake of sexual misconduct allegations and who has to go away forever despite the warnings that so many people were about to be banished based on unproven allegations.

For example, James Franco has had various allegations made against him, but texting a 17-year-old in a state where the age of consent is 17 and using your acting school like an offline version of Tinder didn’t really bother people all that much.

Well, aside from Charlyne Yi, who had a minor role in The Disaster Artist with Franco and wanted to quit because she didn’t want to work with Franco, who she called a “predator.”

I honestly can’t blame the producers of the film for siding with James Franco over Charlyne Yi. Franco is a box-office draw and he won a Golden Globe for The Disaster Artist, while Charlyne Yi was a guest star on 30 Rock.

James Franco’s behavior hasn’t always been great, but it’s clear most people don’t consider him a sexual predator the way Yi does and that it hasn’t affected his career. Unless some things we haven’t heard about yet come out about James Franco, Charlyne Yi is going to be pretty lonely in this effort.

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Justin Timberlake Pulled Janet Jackson’s Boob Out On Purpose to Upstage His Ex

The immediate aftermath of seeing Janet Jackson’s nipple at the Super Bowl was a dark time in American history. There was basically a massive over-correction as the networks fell over themselves to please the outraged church groups and soccer moms who had to explain to their children what a breast was.

It turns out that those sex-free years were all Justin Timberlake’s fault.

The official line on why Janet Jackson’s breast was exposed was a “wardrobe malfunction,” a term still in use today. But Page Six reports that Jackson’s stylist for the halftime show says not only did the wardrobe work as designed, but it was Justin Timberlake’s idea.

“Janet was going to be in a Rocha dress, and [Justin] was going to step on the back of her dress to reveal her butt in this pearl G-string,” he told us. But “the outfit changed a couple of days before, and you saw the magic.”

Of course, in the end Timberlake tore off part of her top at the end of their performance, briefly revealing Jackson’s breast. Timberlake famously labeled the incident a “wardrobe malfunction.”

“I wouldn’t call it a wardrobe ‘malfunction’ in a million years. It was the most functioning wardrobe in history. As a stylist, it did what it was intended to do,” he said.

Why did Timberlake have this idea to expose Janet Jackson in various ways on the most-watched television event of the year?

Because his ex-girlfriend Britney Spears had gotten a lot of attention for making out with Madonna and Christina Aguilera at the MTV Video Music Awards.

Yeah, awesome that we had years of increased corporate censorship to appease the people currently complaining about corporate censorship of the things they like because some dude wanted to show up his ex. As if making out with Madonna is an accomplishment in the first place.

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Hollywood Producer Scott Rudin is Allegedly an Even Bigger Asshole Than Joss Whedon

Hollywood sexual misconduct has been very much in the news since Ronan Farrow’s expose on Harvey Weinstein started the #metoo movement, but there’s also a lot of misconduct of the non-sexual kind going on in Tinseltown. The Hollywood Reporter chronicled a number of allegations against Scott Rudin that aren’t sexual but make him seem like a caricature of an angry boss, like  Bob Odenkirk’s ‘Artillery’ Arthur Hobbs on How I Met Your Mother.

At about 4:15 p.m. — more than 10 hours into a typical Rudin day that began at 6 and never wrapped before 8 — the Oscar-winning producer was enraged that one of his assistants failed to get him a seat on a sold-out flight. In a fit of fury, he allegedly smashed an Apple computer monitor on the assistant’s hand. The screen shattered, leaving the young man bleeding and in need of immediate medical attention. One person in the office at the time described the incident as sounding like a car crash: a cacophonous collision of metal, glass and limb. The wounded assistant headed to the emergency room, and Rudin called his lawyer, according to another staffer there that Halloween afternoon.

He hit a guy with a computer monitor. That would seem far-fetched in River City Ransom.

“He threw a laptop at the window in the conference room and then went into the kitchen and we could hear him beating on the napkin dispenser,” says [Caroline] Rugo. “Then another time he threw a glass bowl at [a colleague]. It’s hard to say if he threw it in the general direction or specifically at [the colleague], but the glass bowl hit the wall and smashed everywhere. The HR person left in an ambulance due to a panic attack. That was the environment.”

That sounds like the behavior of an abusive spouse or a toddler or both.

“I went into the kitchen, and I was like, ‘Hey, Scott, A24 is on the way up. I’m not sure what it’s concerning,’ ” he says. “And he flipped out, like, ‘Nobody told me A24 was on my schedule.’ He threw it at me, and I dodged a big potato. He was like, ‘Well, find out, and get me a new potato.’ “

He threw a potato at an assistant. That’s almost incredible like he’s just throwing whatever he can reach.

“He asked me to clean the kitchen. I told him, ‘That’s really not my job.’ I had to do a bunch of other stuff that was urgent,” the former assistant says. “The kitchen was not urgent. And then he flipped out, and he took his teacup, threw it, and it shattered and left a hole in the wall. I was like, ‘I’m a human. This is a physical act of aggression.’ “

That’s a lot worse.

How has Hollywood treated this alleged behavior, which, much like Harvey Weinstein’s abuses of power, everyone in town has supposedly know about for decades? They gave him an EGOT and over 100 Oscar nominations.

“When they ultimately quit — which they always do at some point — he vindictively goes on IMDb and takes away any credits they may have amassed while working for him,” says one producer who hired a traumatized assistant following a Rudin stint and saw the practice play out.

People don’t just abuse their power to get sex; power is naturally corrupting. Once everyone starts telling you that you can do no wrong, well, you start to believe them.

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Lena Dunham is Under Fire For Not Being Fat Enough

Here’s something I thought I’d never say: Lena Dunham is being criticized on the internet because her clothes are too small.

Specifically, Lena Dunham’s selection of five overpriced, ugly plus-sized pieces of clothing aren’t made in large enough sizes for some women, with the line only going up to a size 26, which according to Lane Bryant means a 54-inch and a 48-inch waist, which is… pretty big. But not big enough for Twitter!

I get it, I’m not exactly thin myself, but if you go into the big and tall shop and everything I’d too small, maybe you should try jogging. Or have a water.

Of course, not everyone was mad at Lena Dunham for not being fat enough. Some people pointed out that Lena Dunham sucks and her clothes are just overpriced crap, which is all incredibly true.

Lena Dunham says there’s only five pieces like it’s a specially selected, curated collection but two of the pieces are a white tank top and a blue skirt? Yeah, good luck find those in stores without Lena Dunham’s help.

Why is she even famous again? HBO bought her show about Bryant Gumbel’s ass or whatever on a half-page treatment. Hey, I’m fat and horny too, where’s my TV show?

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Meghan McCain Was Completely Scandalized By The Idea That People Masturbate

Before she was the toke Republican on The View, Meghan McCain’s personal brand was basically “I may be a Republican but I’m still a slut!” Despite the fact that no one really ever called her a slut, she leaned into it. Adult Swim’s adaptation of Shin-Chan even had a segment where Shin and his friends Georgie and Boo go on a date with some “Meghan McCain Republicans.”

That brand clearly didn’t work for her, and she switched her thing from “I hate poor people but I love dick” to “Do you know who my father is?”

But now McCain, who once co-wrote a book called America, You Sexy Bitch, is scandalized by sex the way people were once scandalized by McCain having boobs on Twitter.

Basically, the cast of the show was commiserating on Regé-Jean Page not returning to Netflix’s Bridgerton for its second season, because he got them all lubed up for their husbands and/or their vibrators. You’d think Whoopi Goldberg owned stock in a vibrator company the way she was pushing them.

This, as reported by Decider, caused Meghan McCain to turn even whiter and pass out on her fainting couch, needing to be revived with smelling salts.

Notably silent in all the Bridgerton talk was McCain, who has never watched the show — and after today’s segment, probably never will. “I was going to tell everyone to please watch Yellowstone,” she said. “None of you guys are watching and it’s a fantastic, Western, sexy cowboy show.

“I really appreciate the fact that your sex life apparently has a lot to do with Bridgerton, and I’m confused. That was not the topic that was pitched this morning, that was not what I agreed to talk about on air,” McCain continued. “Meghan does not want any more topics like this, please.”

In one last protest, McCain told her co-hosts, “My mother watches this show!” But Haines was quick to reply, “She knows, you have a baby!”

In just over ten years McCain has gone from “How dare you slut-shame me for being a sexy, busty young lass?” to the woman who says “Why I never!” in all of the Marx Brothers’ movies. It’s pretty impressive.

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Rape Golem Harvey Weinstein Is Appealing His Rape Conviction Because He Thinks the Media Was Too Hard on Him For All the Rapes

Harvey Weinstein spent decades strutting around as the tiny, deformed dick you had to suck if you wanted to be a movie star. As one of Hollywood’s most powerful producers, all he really had to do to stay on top forever was not rape a bunch of women.

Harvey was convicted of multiple rapes last year, and now he’s appealing because he says he didn’t have a fair trial.

ABC 7 in New York reports Weinstein claims media bias and faulty juror selection process, among other complaints, left him unable to receive a fair trial.

Disgraced film producer Harvey Weinstein appealed his rape conviction Monday, arguing he was made a “media villain” and tried in a “highly volatile and prejudicial atmosphere” that failed to safeguard his right to a fair trial by an impartial jury.

“Although the defense raised legitimate questions about whether Juror No. 11 was fit to serve, the trial court failed to discharge its constitutional obligation to conduct a full inquiry to ensure that the juror was capable of rendering a fair and impartial verdict,” the defense wrote.

Look, I think Woody Allen has been unfairly vilified in the press over unsubstantiated allegations. Harvey Weinstein has been accused of rape by so many women that they could field a team for every major professional sport simultaneously and still have some women on the bench.

I don’t think Harvey is going to be able to jump the General Lee over a canyon and Duke Boys his way out of this one. I expect all sorts of further appeals, but I don’t expect any of them to be successful.

I just think it’s funny that after decades of basically running Hollywood, Weinstein says the media was out to get him.

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Kate Winslet Knows 4 Actors Hollywood Has Scared to Come Out

Kristen Stewart was basically a pariah a few years ago. She was the gloomy actress who slept with a married director (and cheated on Robert Pattinson) and a lot of  Ovid fans wanted nothing to do with her. One short haircut and an interview where she confirms she likes vaginas as much as the rest of us later, she’s basically Hollywood’s new it girl.

This is very much not a typical Hollywood coming-out story, even today. Contrary to what you might imagine, being LGBT is not a ticket to success in Hollywood and homophobia is still an issue in Tinseltown.

Despite Hollywood’s gay-friendly image to the public, Kate Winslet says that being gay can severely limit your career prospects as an actor.

Page Six reports Winslet says she knows at least four people who are in the closet and afraid that coming out would cost them acting roles. In 2021.

“I can think of at least four actors absolutely hiding their sexuality,” the actress, 45, told the Sunday Times. “It’s painful. Because they fear being found out. And that’s what they say. ‘I don’t want to be found out.’”

Winslet explained that the discrimination often begins as soon as actors and actresses launch their careers.

“I cannot tell you the number of young actors I know — some well-known, some starting out — who are terrified their sexuality will be revealed and that it will stand in the way of their being cast in straight roles,” she said, calling the notion “f–ked up.”

Gay actors Neil Patrick Harris and Jim Parsons both had a lot of success playing straight characters, but neither came out until after the shows they were on started airing. And still Hollywood is nervous that gay actors can’t “play straight,” even though 20-30-somethings routinely play teenagers.

“It’s bad news. Hollywood has to drop that dated crap of, ‘Can he play straight because, apparently, he’s gay?’” she told the newspaper, noting that the stigma applies to “men more than anything.”

“That should be almost illegal. You would not believe how widespread it is. And it can’t just be distilled to the question about gay actors playing gay parts. Because actors, in some cases, are choosing not to come out for personal reasons. And it’s nobody’s business. Perhaps privacy. Perhaps conditioning and shame.”

Here’s a fun game: name a living, male openly bisexual actor. Did you say Alan Cumming? If you said anyone I’ll bet you said Alan Cumming.

We like to think of Hollywood and brands and big cities as being liberal utopias where the LGBT community is welcomed with open arms because of a deep sense of moral righteousness. It’s actually all a calculated business decision.

There’s an episode of 30 Rock where Jack tells Liz “We’ll trick those race-car-loving wide loads into watching your lefty, homoerotic propaganda hour yet.” That is the purest distillation of how Hollywood and big business writ large think about these issues. It’s all a calculation about how to make the most money.

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Hollywood Stars are Once Again Threatening to Boycott Georgia

Georgia is kind of like the Hollywood of the South, much the same way Vancouver is Hollywood North. If you haven’t looked into it, a shockingly high number of TV shows and movies film or are otherwise produced in Georgia. This is because Georgia offers huge tax breaks to the entertainment industry.

Georgia’s state government has also recently taken to passing bills that are causing Hollywood productions to reconsider filming there.

In 2018, a bill allowing adoption agencies to discriminate against LGBT couples was considered and it lead to a number of boycott threats from studios, actors and producers. Disney had similarly threatened to pull production out of the state in 2016 over a similar bill.

In 2021, however, it’s a bill aimed at making voting more difficult that has lead to renewed threats to pull production out of the state.

Georgia’s Governor actually signed the bill into law, and it has some indefensibly stupid provisions in it that are just nakedly meant to make voting more difficult. The most blatant provision makes it illegal to bring food or water to someone waiting in line to vote. There’s absolutely no basis for that other than “we would like to make it more difficult to vote.”

There have also been calls for consumers to boycott Georgia-based companies like Coca-Cola and Delta, as if anyone flies on Delta by choice in the first place.

Not everyone supports a boycott, though. Former Democratic Gubernatorial candidate Stacey Abrams says the boycott will only hurt the people already being disenfranchised by the law.

“[Leaving] us behind won’t save us,” Abrams wrote. “So I ask you to bring your business to Georgia and, if you’re already here, stay and fight. Stay and vote.”

On the balance, Abrams is probably right. Dealing with the onerous new voting restrictions, voting out the people who put them in place and ending them is likely the best strategy. This bill was all about giving cover to Donald Trump’s 2024 campaign and his big lie that he didn’t actually lose in 2020 so he’s not toxic and unelectable even though he lost to Joe Biden by stunning margins when you have to imagine even a halfway competent Republican could have won that election. So even if these boycotts resulted in a huge economic crash the legislature would be unlikely to take action.

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Did ‘The Simpsons’ Predict Sharon Stone’s Unwanted Breast Implants?

The Simpsons has been on television for over 30 years, and for almost half of those years it was good. One of the last good episodes of The Simpsons is season 14’s Large Marge, an episode with the ridiculous premise of Marge getting unwanted breast implants after her chart gets mixed up with Apu’s wife Manjula.

Oddly, this has turned out to be yet another example of The Simpsons predicting real-life events. Kind of.

Sharon Stone had some large, benign tumors removed and afterward she needed some reconstructive surgery, including breast implants.

People reports that Stone wrote in her upcoming memoir that the doctor just decided to give her bigger boobs without discussing it with her.

“When I was unbandaged, I discovered that I had a full cup-size bigger breasts, ones that he said ‘go better with your hip size’ ” Stone said. “He had changed my body without my knowledge or consent.”

That’s actually pretty horrific if you think about it. I don’t understand how her doctor could ever come to the conclusion that this was an okay thing to do.

Sure, it was a funny episode of The Simpsons, but so was the one where Homer tried to jump over Springfield Gorge and fell in, and then rolled out of the ambulance and back down into the gorge. Less funny if it would happen to a real person.

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Piers Morgan Says Press Treats Meghan Markle ‘No Worse’ Than Princess Diana, Who Was Killed Fleeing From Paparazzi

It’s pretty clear that the reason Prince Harry and Meghan Markle stepped away from their royal duties is that in the back of mind, Harry kept thinking “I just don’t want them to do to my wife what they did to my mum.”

Them in this case being the press and potentially the royal family’s staff who offered no assistance. Harry definitely blames the press for the death of his mother and he’s not entirely wrong to do so.

Luckily Piers Morgan has an opinion. The last time we heard from Piers he was getting Sharon Osbourne kicked off of The Talk just for being friends with him. It seems entirely reasonable, honestly; the one thing that’s made me question Meghan Markle in this whole debacle is that she used to be friends with Piers herself.

Piers told his side of the story in The Daily Mail and it’s… about what you’d expect from a piece written by Piers Morgan and published in The Daily Mail.

Piers seemed very hurt by his cohosts not siding with him when he said he thought Meghan was lying.

Dr Shola Mos-Shogbamimu called me a ‘liar’ and a ‘disgrace’

Opinions on Meghan Markle aside, she’s not wrong.

Meghan’s had no worse media treatment than other Royal brides such as Diana, Fergie, Kate, Camilla or even that other Monarchy-rattling American divorcee, Wallis Simpson.

See, this right here is classic Piers Morgan. “Well, it wasn’t any worse for Meghan than it was for Harry’s mother, Princess Diana.” How did that work out, Piers? Happy ending, all smiles? Or was she tragically killed when she was the same age Harry is now in a fiery car crash caused because she was being relentlessly pursued by paparazzi?

In one sentence, Piers managed to sum up the entire root cause of Harry’s issues with how his wife has been treated and then entirely miss the point. Classic Piers.

Are we entirely sure Piers isn’t just a Steve Coogan bit that took on a life of its own? Is Rob Brydon around to help him get out of the scene and back to reality?

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Johnny Depp Loses UK Appeal, British People are Free to Call Him a Wife Beater

This Johnny Depp and Amber Heard story just keeps getting weirder.

Johnny Depp lost his appeal in the UK against The Sun, so in the eyes of the British government, Johnny Depp is a wife beater. Here’s why the appeals judges made that ruling, as reported by the AP.

The justices, James Dingemans and Nicholas Underhill, said the earlier court hearing was “full and fair” and the trial judge’s conclusions “have not been shown even arguably to be vitiated by any error of approach or mistake of law.”

They concluded that “the appeal has no real prospect of success and that there is no other compelling reason for it to be heard.”

Now that’s the weird part. I don’t think it’s the right judgment, but what’s bizarre is Amber Heard’s claim that she actually been donating the divorce settlement money she publicly pledged to two charities, she’s just been doing it anonymously. This comes after she previously claimed she was totally going to donate the money but Johnny Depp’s lawsuit he filed well after the fact prevented her from doing so.

Heard claims she pledged to make the payments to charity over the course of ten years. I’m sure it’s just a coincidence that if you invested 7 million dollars in an index fund that has an annual yield of 7%, you’d have made nearly 7 million dollars in interest at the end of ten years. Weird, right? I wonder why Amber Heard insisted Depp pay her and not send the money directly to her chosen charities.

Depp and Heard are still set to litigate this issue in an American court, where the results actually count.

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Whatever Reason Could the British Press Writ Large Have for Hating Meghan Markle?

The British press, and the British Public, do not like Meghan Markle. It’s easy to assume that it’s because the British are racist because boy are the British racist. Don’t believe me?

Yeah, look up what year that aired and what kind of ratings it got. When the BBC took it off of iPlayer they said “things have changed since Little Britain aired” but it had barely been ten years.

But I don’t think racism is the reason Meghan doesn’t get a fair shake, I think xenophobia is the reason. Or specifically, the British really just don’t like Americans.

I know what you’re thinking “oh, it’s just because we elected Donald Trump! Now that the bad orange man is gone the world will love us again!” Have you ever seen Britain’s Prime Minister Boris Johnson? He’s essentially just British Donald Trump.

But let’s think back to Meghan and Harry’s interview with Oprah. I think that the thing most people found the most shocking was that Meghan asked to see a mental health professional because she was having suicidal ideation and the staff at Kensington Palace told her to go f**k herself.

All people in the UK can talk about, however, are Meghan and Harry’s “secret wedding” and Meghan being angry Archie wasn’t given a title. Both the press and the public have latched on to these as “proof” that Meghan is “lying.”

But let’s break these two stories down.

The easiest one is that Meghan and Harry told Oprah that their “real” wedding was just the two of them in their back yard a few days before their public wedding. The two exchanged vows in private. It’s sweet, Lily and Marshall basically did the same thing on How I Met Your Mother.

Of course, much hay has been made of this because it wasn’t a legal marriage ceremony, but they never actually claimed it was. But if you were to ask them when they celebrate their anniversary, I’ll bet it’s that private exchange of vows, even if it wasn’t an official ceremony.

And then there’s Archie’s title. Under the traditional way things are done, Archie is not currently entitled to a title. The grandchildren of the sovereign are princes and princesses, their grandchildren are not.

But the thing is, Archie will be a prince and will be entitled to a title as soon as Charles becomes King. Anne, Edward and Andrew’s grandchildren won’t be, but Archie will, and it’s entirely at the discretion of the Queen to give Archie that title early. It’s not like she can’t, it’s just not how it’s done.

How things are done changes all the time with public sentiment. Elizabeth’s refusal to fly the flag at Buckingham Palace at half-mast after Princess Diana’s death made her seem callous and out of touch; had she not relented, it could have ended the monarchy. The reason she didn’t initially is that it wasn’t how things were done: the flag is only flown when the sovereign is in the palace.

This is what the British press has been discussing at length for weeks to avoid talking about the real story. The Queen, to her credit, seems to be taking what Meghan and Harry said to heart and is even considering hiring a diversity czar to address the issues they raised.

Meanwhile, the people who voted for Boris Johnson will do anything to avoid admitting that maybe the black, American woman was mistreated by the palace staff.

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Like Most Men, Orlando Bloom Wants to Have More Sex With His Fiancée Katy Perry

It seems a little strange to ask a celebrity about their sex life in an interview, but if you knew someone who was having sex with Katy Perry you’d probably ask them as many questions as you possibly could. Under the circumstances, I think that The Guardian’s Rosanna Greenstreet was incredibly restrained in just asking the Lord of the Rings star how often he had sex.

How often do you have sex?
Not enough – we just had a baby, though.

This is one of those Inside the Actor’s Studio lightning-round interviews. I don’t think you get to know someone through those kinds of questions, but Bloom gave some interesting answers.

Obviously, that one is understandable; I’d like to have more sex with Katy Perry as well, but some things just aren’t in the cards. But I think between that and another answer he gave, Orlando might find himself sleeping on the couch.

What was the best kiss of your life?
I had a girlfriend when I was 17 called Debbie: that was a kiss.

Here’s a pro tip, guys: if you want your significant other, don’t say how great a kisser your ex was, especially in a respected, 200-year-old newspaper.

And maybe don’t put her behind your dog on the list of greatest loves of your life. Children, sure, but not pets, even pets who have passed.

What or who is the greatest love of your life?
My son, Flynn, and my daughter, Daisy Dove, a dog called Mighty and then, of course, my fiancee.

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Thomas Middleditch Was Accused of Groping Women in a Weird, Underground Cult Night Club

Something that’s pretty important to learn as a man is if a woman isn’t into you. At a certain point, when someone isn’t buying what you’re selling, you’re going to start making them uncomfortable. So here’s your first clue that a woman isn’t into you: you’re Thomas Middleditch.

According to The LA Times, Middleditch just doesn’t understand when a woman doesn’t want him to grope her, which is weird because it has to happen literally all the time.

Harding said Middleditch made lewd sexual overtures toward her and her girlfriend. She turned him down, but he kept pursuing her, groping her in front of her friends and several employees, including the club’s operations manager, Kate Morgan.

Morgan said she asked her bosses to kick Middleditch out and ban him, but they didn’t seem to take it seriously.

“I felt like they dismissed it,” she said. “I told Adam that he needed to listen, that this was not OK.”

Now, she has DMs that show Middleditch apologizing and… yeah. Sometimes this sort of thing happens. It’s not like, yeah, everything’s fine, but this seems like a pretty minor incident in the grand scheme of things. He was out of line but he’s not exactly Bill Cosby.

Harding has Instagram direct messages from Middleditch, seen by The Times, saying, “Hannah I had no idea my actions were that weird for you … I know you probably want to just put me on blast as a monster … I don’t expect you to want to be my friend or anything … I am so ashamed I made you uncomfortable.”

The bigger story is that the now-defunct club this happened in, Cloak and Dagger, didn’t take these sorts of incidents seriously. Even assuming Middleditch didn’t realize he was allegedly being a creep, the club owners allegedly responding by not caring and telling the women complaining that they must be mistaken is how you go from something like this to Harvey Weinstein.

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